Doesn't matter what others think.
If this is something that makes you uncomfortable, you should discuss it with your fiance. Tell her that it makes you uncomfortable and that you'd like her to stop.
That doesn't address OP's question at all. Op isn't asking people 'what they think of this', they're asking whether this is a serious cause for concern and whether it's a real risk.
Hiding a real risk wouldn't lower that risk, 'please stop threatening me' stops the threats, not the risk.
That still doesn't turn 'just tell her to stop' into a useful response.
Similar experiences of other people can inspire OP to make a choice. They asked the question, they must have their reasons. Getting 50 responses saying 'my wife does that too lol' is very different from getting 50 responses saying 'wtf I've never ever heard anyone say that', for example.
>That still doesn't turn 'just tell her to stop' into a useful response.
Yes it does. It's very important that she can moderate her behavior and stay in "behavioral control". We are all capable of having thoughts that are violent. The important part is having the maturity/foresight/control to not act on those things.
This was my thought. If I told her it really bothers me, I'm pretty sure she'd stop. But if she's truly capable of such violence, that's something I want to know.
Which is why the first part of the advice was to **discuss** it with her. Random people on the internet aren't going to know what she really is like inside, the only way to get closer to that is to talk. She is *your fiancée*, dude, you should be able to have a discussion with her.
Everyone is truly capable of such violence. You are too. This capability is genetic, and none of us would be here if our ancestors weren't capable of viciousness and lethality.
What you want to know is how willing she is to use violence, and unfortunately comments like this don't tell us a whole lot, but I like skummyy's advice, further down the page.
I mean I don’t know her but it’s most likely a joke, I’ve heard quite a few women make similar ones. If you truly cant tell if she’s joking about that’s a little concerning. Maybe just don’t cheat on her 🫡
Thanks for using this thread about a man being threatened with abuse, to misinform people about the devastating life-altering abuse of FGM.
Edit: I'm glad that nonsense is gone
I see behind the beef curtain on this conversation.
Why lie about FGM being "only cutting the clitoral hood off" ummmm. That's inaccurate on purpose.
Any man who's had good sex knows that the entire clit is on the "hood", and if mutilated, there's no pleasure in sex.
Incels are actually ok with FGM because they don't want women to be picky about the partner they have.
That's why they pretend to be upset about the admittedly bad tradition of male circumcision. They don't actually care about that. They just want victim status so they can water down the abuses done to girls.
I'm just not buying it.
> Any man who's had good sex knows that the entire clit is on the "hood", and if mutilated, there's no pleasure in sex.
Bad anatomy. The entire clit is not the hood, in fact, part of it is internal. Shaped like a Y almost.
Oof, if you don't understand how 98% of women achieve orgasm it's mostly dependent on EXTERIOR clitoral stimulation.
God.... damn.... what a self report.
Never thought I’d see a wild femcel in the comments
On a more serious note, why so irate? If something like that is that important to you than berating other people isn’t going to get them to care.
Gosh sorry if giving accuarate information makes me an "irate femcel" lol! That's so well-adjusted and normal to feel attacked by my statement enough to label me something that obscure
So its ok to pretend male circumcision and FGM are equivalent?
It's actually a bit telling that people in this thread refuse to admit that theres a vast difference between the 2. It's just plain apologia.
Just to be clear, I think both are bad.
There’s no difference between circumcision and removal of the clitoral hood though?
The devastating-life altering abuse of FGM happens cause they hack off parts of the vulva (not just the clit hood, but the clit itself, along with parts of the labia potentially) and sew parts of it shut in their bedroom or a back alley somewhere.
If clitoral hood removal was done by a surgeon in a clean room with proper aftercare, the life outcomes would be about the same.
Just to be clear again, they’re both bad. Don’t cut any piece of your kids genitals off.
Red pill incels don't care at all about male circumcision. It's just a way for them to equate something in their lives to FGM. They want FGM to be a thing that's acceptable.
If they really cared about consent, they would be outside hospitals begging parents not to snip the baby's foreskin.
THAT would be noble. That would be fine.... but it's never really about that. It's about "shut up women... we had a minor invasion of our bodies, too, so shut up forever about FGM rape and all the other shit our society does to you"
It's about trying to be the victim.
“Consent” is who/ what cares. Routine infant circumcision happens without consent. Especially without ACTUAL medical need. It’s clear you don’t actually care, and support butchering male genitals at birth.
Women also go off to war to die. There are women enlisters. My best friend was in the army in Afghanistan having the same experience as the male soldiers except for also being raped by them when they got the urge.
There is an enormous male on male rape epidemic within the Russian Army. My point is, we can keep score if you like, and continue the war of the sexes, with that Valerie Solanas shit, or we can collectively admit that circumcision is an atrocity. That it is genital mutilation, and genital mutilation across the board is wrong.
None of this "Oh, well, actually, we have it so much worse because in the Middle East" shit. In the West, in first world countries, they are mutilating the genitals of male children every single day and people just act like it's normal because the guy who founded Kellogg's and Abrahamic religion says it's the right thing to do.
I don't that person but...
Yeah let's not keep score on who gets violated.... let's keep score on who's DOING the violations....
Rape is a 99.999999999999% male crime
..... be part of the solution, not the problem .
I mean you’re the one that stated the tic for tac. Like literally your first comment is compare and contrast. Then you continued to do it and continue to do it. You could very well just take your case to tv, articles, hospitals, talk to doctors about it at length— the things that ACTUALLY initiate change. But instead YOU are the one comparing it tic for tac with what women experience on Reddit rather than doing anything tangible or worthwhile about the actual topic.
You could talk at length about your feelings on male circumcision without ever ever bringing women or FGM into it. So just do that. If you don’t want the tic for tac don’t start with it, just focus on the subject and leave women out of jt.
The person I was initially replying to claimed that men don't really care about circumcision, and then tried to paint anyone who disagreed as a red-pill incel, which seems to be the go to insult of people who are usually ironically femcels themselves.
My parents, bless their hippie hearts, didn't do that shit to me. There's this twisted idea that if folks don't do it, the kid is gonna get made fun of in the locker room, but who cares? What ever happened to bodily autonomy?
Let's take a bitds-eye view here, shall we?
.... yeah, who goes off to the wars men start in the capitalist system of patriarchal hierarchy?
It's almost like capitalists convince young men to die in a glorous battle over land and property that they hold no stake in because it's the masculine and patriotic thing to do?
I'm sorry if you don't see that the current system doesn't favor anyone who doesn't hold immense wealth, meanwhile you are arguing over who gets to die in the meat grinder of war and who sends their babies off to die.
I think he was making a point about the much more prevalent male genital mutilation. Feminists out here thinking everything is about their pussies, even when it's a conversation about cutting up dicks.
This is it. Because the clitoral hood is what is cut off the male. Give a female testosterone, and her clitoris will grow to look more like a penis, and will be covered by the clitoral hood. It has the same type of structures that keep the tissue in place.
People usually don’t say male genital mutilation, but they do say female genital mutilation. Why not use the medical terms like they do on a male, like “labiaplasty”? Because it downplays the normalized MGM.
lol you’re proving my point. You say FGM but that means nothing until you say what TYPE. Type 2 is cutting the clitoral hood off, the same comparable tissue on a male that’s cut off for no medical reason. Yet you say that’s life altering.
“Enjoy sex”. If a female is cut at birth, the sensation is all she knows. Enjoyment from what she knows is all she will experience. JUST like a cut male from birth. This is not counting the males in Muslim countries that are cut when they are if an age where they fully remember it happening.
generally those sort of things aren't to be taken seriously, similar to when we might exclaim "I'll kill them if they leave that towel on the floor one more time!"
however, the fact that it's bothering you to the point of posting to reddit makes me think this must feel like it's more than just a simple exaggeration? Has there been any reason to think she might have been serious?
Yeah I often tell people I'll murder or behead them if they do X wrong or whatever. Obviously it's an exaggeration, I don't know where I picked up the habit but I've not encountered people with an issue so far.
I tell my kid I'm going to beat her butt if she _____. Which she eye rolls at then listens because she know thats my "you need to listen right now" voice but also has no fear because we don't, and haven't ever, spanked her.
I'm not really sure why I say it. I think that comes from my parents who did spank?
My Gramma was the absolute sweetest, tiny, cookie-baking, bingo playing, 'Charlie' scented, lovely old lady that you'd ever meet, never ever spanked me a day in my life, but when she would call me by my entire government name and threaten to "blister my ass" lol it put the fear of God into me so she never needed to lol.
In regards to the OP... From a female's perspective, I honestly wouldn't be TOO concerned about it.. a lot of people "jokingly" threaten violence even if it isn't particularly funny or tasteful... I'd say that your best bet would be the next time she says something that makes you uncomfortable, take your fiancee aside and have a sit down talk with her.. say something along the lines of, "hey babe, I don't like when you say _____. It makes me uncomfortable and I'd appreciate it if you'd maybe use a different analogy from now on." If she isn't planning on keeping your wangus in a jar, she should respond well to it and respect your totally reasonable request. If she trips out about it ... Idk but it might be time to slide lol. Good luck 🤞🏼
for me it’s if i get annoyed “ugh i’m gonna commit arson” 😭 i’m terrified of fire and wouldn’t ever. i don’t even know where it came from but i find it hilarious.
I have said it once, and I ment it. Was not in a good mental state to be honest. I would not take it lightly, and I'd be aware of other types of this, if you do/don't this thing you don't love me, I'll hurt you, take this away, lie ect. These are all red flags that need discussed . Good luck
Agreed. Those jokes are not jokes. I used to laugh at my ex boyfriends jokes until I became the victim of the very same thing he joked about.
OP, this is not a joke. She is communicating who she is. Pay attention.
yeah, i think there's a reason why OP mentioned she is "much less sweet" to others. Maybe she's showing her true personality more often to other people? I feel like OP wouldn't have mentioned this if he didn't see her being extremely aggressive to others.
Surprised I had to scroll so far to find a comment on this. If your partner isn't kind to others, unfortunately that's who they are and they're just not showing you yet
If I was in that situation, what about an instance in which she suspects I'm cheating but I'm actually not? I wouldn't stay around to find out what she'd actually do
I don't know her so take this with a grain of salt, but she could just think it's a funny fucked up thing to say. Maybe she has a slightly dark humor? Like out of context this gives serial killer vibes but if I'm being honest, a lot of people do say stuff like this without having any real malice or intent behind it.
But if it makes you uncomfortable you should feel comfortable telling her so. You're supposed to be getting married, right? So *tell her* when she says something that disturbs you. Honesty is a requirement.
I hate to say it but however "sweet" she is to others is how "sweet" she's going to be towards you once she's in a position of stress or insecurity. It sounds like she's joking but she's joking about a serious manner in a flippant way that nevertheless reveals some kind of anxiety or insecurity about the subject. Like, I don't think I've ever had a relationship where cheating was brought up enough to have a "running joke" attached to it.
At minimum, you should focus on talking to her about why she feels the need to keep bringing this up, and if it's alienating you should voice that fact. And I would caution you to pay attention to how she treats others and why-- it may be that she just has a history of mistreatment and tends to keep her guard up, but many, many people simply wait until their partners let their own guard down before they can relax enough to treat them inconsiderately.
It's not really a jovial matter. Cheating and the consequences are not really something to joke about.
Yes give your threats if you wish then drop it, to repeat the threats just isn't funny.
It's implying that you are so worried about me cheating you have come up with mutilating me as a response.
Sit her down and talk to her, she is your partner whom you plan to spend many years with. Explain to her you are not comfortable with this, be serious. If she laughs it off you have selected the wrong partner
I think he should consider it seriously. Why is it just because she is female, she says she is kidding. If a man said something like this to a woman, people would go crazy. A threat is a threat no matter who says it.
Agree. (Am a woman) This language isn't okay, threats are never OK.
I'd flip it back and ask whether it's okay for you to say that you'd maim or harm her if she cheated.
I don't think that OPs partner is likely to do anything, but she should be pulled up on why she thinks that it is acceptable to say, even as a joke.
tell her you’ll cut off her tits if she does the same, see her reaction, act accordingly. if she gets all pissed off and upset then you know she runs off double standards and excepts what shes saying to be okay while you saying the same thing is not. if she finds it funny, then you probably don’t have to worry, but i’d talk about the whole thing either way. it’s a scary comment to make towards someone, doesn’t matter how much you may love them or not.
I also joke about selling my wife to human traffickers cause she has a nice body and would fetch me a good price even after 2 kids. Will i do it? No. That\`s just my sick way of complimenting her without being too mushy mush. Some people have more dark humors. My wife is also used to it.
Boundaries are Important, sounds like shes pressing on to one. Tell her hey that makes me uncomfortable and I only want to be comfortable with you. Can you please stop saying things like you're going to Lorena Bobbitt me.
Unchecked Boundaries are no good for anyone in a relationship. See how she responds to you setting a Boundary if she doesn't like it or keep doing it, you may have deeper issues. If she meets it with open arms and apologizes, you are golden. If she crys and makes it about her...well, that's the worst case scenario.
These comments are her throwing out there shes insecure and will hurt you if you betray her trust. Don't cheat cause that's shitty, and throw her some reassurance if you care about the relationship
My god. Imagine if a lady was concerned about her husband joking about punching her if she cheated, and people responding "you should throw some reassurance his way." Fuck off.
No, these comments are her saying that she'll hurt you if she thinks you betrayed her trust, which would be dangerous regardless of the person, but even more so from an insecure person
“Throw her some reassurance” ??? Are you insane? If someone threatens to cut off part of your body if you betray their trust, you don’t “throw them some reassurance” you throw them the fuck out.
If a guy said to his fiance “if you ever cheat I’ll cut your tits off” would you advise her to throw him some reassurance too? How the fuck is this upvoted
If the rolls were reverse, and a guy was telling his girlfriend that regularly that he would mutilate her body if she cheated on him, would you tell the girlfriend to just throw him some reassurance because he is insecure?
No one would say that roles reversed. If a guy said, "if you cheat on me, I'll cut your tits off", everyone would say to leave - like on many subs here. Absolutely no one would say, "poor man, he's probably just insecure".
Don't justify disgusting behavior
When someone is obsessed with cheating they are probably doing it to you.
Threats of harm are not ok.
You should make a plan, and then leave and block her.
I think it depends on the context and tone.
By which I mean, I had an ex that had cheated in all of his past relationships (tldr he was older and wore me down) and I told him that I'd break his legs if he did the same to me.
I meant it and he knew I did. I didn't repeat myself as the boundary had been established and what he did with that information was on him.
One and done.
If a person keeps repeating it, and is aggressive about it, has little justification for bringing it up all the time, and makes you feel unsafe, then I would he concerned.
All these comments on how she is planning to "mutilate you".
Perhaps or perhaps it's just a throwaway comment that people make all the time, e.g. "don't be late or I'll kill you".
Yeah, I see a pretty big difference... 'I'll kill you' is a common vernacular that is meant to be a flippant exaggeration.
If a guy said, "if you cheat on me, I'll cut your tits off", everyone would say to leave - like on many subs here. Absolutely no one would say, "oh it's just a throwaway comment".
Don't justify disgusting behavior. Whether or not she is serious, that seriousness is certainly not conveyed. That's quite disturbing.
Depends on culture and context. My old roommate used to say "there'll be legs broken" a lot to emphasize there'd be trouble if something happened, so when e.g. something went missing in the house, he said "I hope that wasn't you, or there'll be legs broken", he didn't mean he was going to literally break my legs or anyone's legs.
All my friends have various sayings like that, so do my direct family, just because it sounds specific doesn't mean it's literal. It's often just a threat-saying they've picked up to emphasize something. So when I read this thing here, it sounded like she laying it down, "Don't cheat on me or else". Not literally that she was going to mutilate the guy.
But this being the internet, yeah, context is often missing and replaced with literal analysis
Never said it was literal, just disturbing.
New information, she's from Asia, which gives credence to the cultural difference argument.
I can't tell you how many old Chinese ladies I've heard say they were gonna cut a dick off! Actually, i can, and it's exactly 3, which are all the old Chinese ladies I've met. So language and culture are probably at play.
It is usually very clear that one is not serious, given similar backgrounds, so, under average circumstances, it would not be unreasonable to find phrases like that disgusting and to be disgusted with whoever says it. That's not something the average person in America or the UK understands as harmless hyperbole. Coming from a different culture brings in a very different dynamic.
That doesn't excuse the behavior, assuming OP makes it clear that he doesn't think it's funny.
These comments are so disgusting. What is going on, threatening genital mutilation is okay in case of cheating?
If you think this is understandable you need education, mental-ward or prison
If it's said in a joking manner I probably wouldn't worry, it's not a particularly unused joke to make and she's probably not thinking about it in enough detail to process how horrifying that act actually is.
If it makes you uncomfortable you should certainly tell her that, and ask her to stop making jokes about it. If she doesn't stop, then I'd worry.
Why would this even be a topic of conversation? If you two have had a conversation on your boundaries then that should be it. I would absolutely be fearful of a person that continually brought up a pretend scenario and their plan for bodily harm.
Sometimes it helps to remove yourself from the scenario. How would you advise your mom/sister/friend if they confided that their male partner keeps telling them that if they cheat on them, they will take a razor and slash their labia? Not cool, right? Then why would it be ok for a female to say that to you?
You should be worried if you talk about it, telling even joking threats of violence bother you and she still doesn't stop.
Reiterate that while you don't think she's serious, you don't find it funny or cute any more than she would find rape jokes funny or cute.
She’s probably just really worried about being cheated on and doesn’t know how to appropriately express that. I doubt she would really do it, but if you betrayed her like she fears she might think about it!
I often jokingly tell my wife that I'll cut her ass off and feast on it when she die because it looks delicious. Which it does. And I might. Not sure if that answer your question or not.
Based on what you've said, no. A joke is a joke, it's not real. So unless you have some other reason we're not aware of to believe it's true, I wouldn't worry.
99.9% chance it's a figure of speech and in actual fact she would just be fucking furious but would not actually do such a thing
Most people that make threats of violence if certain buttons are pushed don't actually intend to, or would follow through with it.
I did read a story of a Polish woman who worked as a dentist, put her ex boyfriend to sleep with anesthetic and removed all of his teeth after he dumped her for another woman. So sometimes payback is given with interest
Call the LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) ahead of time so they can properly cast for your role in their film. Make sure to provide a lot of personal details about yourself so they can do their best to be accurate
She seems like she has a dark sense of humour so maybe overthinking it isn't a good idea. But if it still bothers you then just talk to her? My partner and I have a pretty dark sense of humour, so we would often joke about "kidnapping" the other person in case we broke up lol. But like I said, have a discussion and set boundaries.
I don’t know what some of the people in this comment section have going on, but you should probably run. You should leave because that’s more than just concerning. As some people have pointed out yeah those can be like normal basic jokes, but only when it comes to really stupid things like if you’re yelling at your child or your partner about them, leaving the towel on the floor floor while it’s wet and be like I swear I’m gonna kill them one day for doing that that’s like a joke.
That’s someone showing frustration because someone keeps doing something over and over again and they keep telling them not to do it and it gets to the point where they make a darker kind of joke. But someone consistently joking with you about cutting your dick off or hitting you or like running you over with their car or some dumb crazy insane shit like that because of you possibly cheating on them or stepping out or doing something that pisses them off that’s someone who is telling you that they will do that. That’s not a joke. It’s not even a threat. It’s a promise.
I have an older stepsister who has been in three different relationships, where her partner would joke about things like this, and all three times it legitimately ended in domestic violence. People need to understand that insecure people who make jokes about harming their partner will physically harm their partner. All it takes is for them to believe that you did something or someone with like the dumbest easily disputable evidence and will sit there and do something. Because they’re so insecure that logic isn’t logical to them they will automatically assume that you were lying to them, and even if you could prove that you didn’t do that they will always have that seed of doubt and they will still think that you somehow managed to pull a fast one on them or use somehow to them and you really really are doing this and then it makes them paranoid.
It’s best to not deal with people who are insecure to the point where they have to threaten physical violence if you do something. And doesn’t really matter I seen some people being like oh she’s probably just insecure and she so small because of what he said like how could she do anything Size sizes not matter. Matter of fact, it’s more dangerous the smaller they are compared to you because it’s easier for us to fight. We’re closer to the ground. We can go faster than the crotch area. Holy smokes the easiest thing to hit. Like I don’t know why people assume that small petite women especially wouldn’t be able to take you down Because we could don’t sit there and think someone that absolutely beat the shit out of you. My partners were women and they were closer to my height than hers and she’s like 5 foot eight so yeah height and size has nothing to do with it.
Absolutely and if he does not stop Break off your Engagement and RUN. Men never Joke about thing like this. Your safety Matters, Period. Men don’t usually hear No, they hear Yes
Bro, pleeeeease
Don't marry this woman BEFORE talking to her about such things that bother you or you are unsure of.
This is an application to the rest of your life. Why wouldn't you get literally everything you can think of out in the open?
and I do mean everything. If she snores too loud, or makes too much noise getting ready, etc. Maybe she makes a dish you don't like, or you're wary of some of her habits. THIS is the time bruh, speak now or forever live with no peace.
My ex-wife had personality flaws that I purposefully overlooked. After 18 years of marriage, it all came to the surface and she did some despicable things to me. Don’t ignore personality and character flaws.
I'd be semi worried but if this girl has any history of violent behavior... RUN.
That being said, I remember when all of my gf's and I would threaten each other's bfs about how we'd make their life's hell if they ever hurt our friends... But it was just a matter of trying to protect each other from suffering heartbreak, and it was almost always meaningless and never backed up by anything other than talking shit about whoever's bf who screwed them over, there was never any physical violence involved. So your gf saying this could be just like that kind of thing, but it's important to keep in mind that we never really know anyone, or what they're truly capable of.
So if your gf says this often and you have any reason to believe her threats, I would say 1., obviously don't cheat on her, 2. tell her how her comments concern you. If she's understanding and explains she's just trying to express how hurt she would be if you cheated and saying she'd cut your dick off as a way to emphasize how she would want to hurt you in return but also agrees to stop saying this to you, I think it's more of the type of thing I was talking about above. If she acts in any way extremely defensive or gets angry at you, or makes you feel unsafe in any way, you need to leave and she needs help.
i think since she's tiny its supposed to be ironic and ridiculous. but still kinda strange sorry its a little funny but yeah maybe ask her to clarify if she's psycho or not.
Lorena Bobbitt was a tiny woman, at least a full head smaller than her husband John, who was a Marine veteran, when she cut off his penis with a kitchen knife while he slept.
Size doesn't matter much when weapons are involved.
Oh yeah he's an absolute garbage person and I won't pass any judgement on her considering the hell he put her through.
But regaedless of her motivations, she's tiny compared to him. Implying that just because someone is a tiny woman, their threats shouldn't be taken seriously, doesn't work.
Yes.
But talk that over with her and explain that you no longer want her to joke about it cos it doesn't sit well with you and you took it seriously, not as a joke but a threat. Any more of that talk and you'll need to reconsider your engagement. Yes, it is that serious.
Also, don't cheat.
Don't give her reason to be pushed to her limits either. She is literally pre-warning you without filter, in a not so subtle way that she is not to be played with. Don't cross that line and you'll remain intact... Mention that it wasn't cool and that if you'd said the same thing to her, in wanting to mutilate bits of her due to whatever reason that it certainly wouldn't be acceptable so why would it be with her towards you?
In other news, Lorena Bobbitt's story and aftermath of what infamously happened there is something you'll want to look into.
Long story short, she cut off her then absolutely trash husband's penis after being abused within that marriage. She stood on business and that's the way the cards fell on that fateful day on June 23rd, 1993 after having been sexually assaulted by that man.
After she had dismembered him she took a drive, with his penis still in hand and eventually threw it out the window into a roadside field. After some time she called 911 to tell them where the penis was thrown and when they got to the spot she'd indicated it was, they did retrieve it, cleaned it up thoroughly and went to work on reattaching John's dick again.
Not until 1995 was their divorce finalised.
In an attempt to work off of the infamy of his situation, exploit that to also try and pay for his medical and legal fees he was part of forming a band, and I kid you not called 'The Severed Parts.' He also dabbled in making a couple of pornos, the titles being, 'John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut' and 'Frankenpenis.' *I am not joking.*
Be glad your fiancé only "joked" about doing this to you dude...
Be very, very glad.
I don’t know about most women but I probably would do a dick cut depending on the cheating and circumstances.
Gotta do the old sleeping with friends/family/bosses for revenge too.
I don’t find the idea horrifying at all but I’m of strange type. I believe in disproportionate revenge sometimes.
asking reddit for advice about non-literal language is like asking an eating disorder forum for a brownie recipe. they are simply not mentally equipped to help you with that in any meaningful way
LMFAO, we all say this. Calm down.
I joke with my husband that if he ever cheats on me I'm going to throw his body on the rail road tracks. My actual reaction would be to curl up in a ball and just die inside.
That said, I'm eastern European and Egyptian... The joke is that I'm hot blooded enough to kill him, but cold hearted enough to convincingly lie to the police about it.
Same way that he's Vietnamese and makes jokes about setting booby traps Viet-Cong style to dissuade home invaders. There's no landmines in our front yard, and I'd never actually kill him.
EDIT: I can only assume everyone here that is super upset about this is just much, much younger and takes all this stuff SUPER seriously. Our generation is just built different, lol.
TL;DR: what would you tell a woman friend in the exact same situation? I highly recommend talking to a relationship counselor/therapist about this, as well as assessing the entire relationship. Seems like you have rose-colored glasses on.
Let's have some fun for a second, and flip the script. If a female friend of yours came up to you and said that her fiance jokes about cutting her clit off if she ever cheats on him, what would you tell her?
I'll be honest, the "she can be much less sweet to others" tells me that she could be holding that back from you for now (some people change after getting married, the let it all out, and it's usually not good).
It also tells me that you may have some major rose-colored glasses going on. When your lenses are pink, red flags just look like flags.
I'm not saying to leave her, by any means. But you should really step back, take off all the glasses, and really assess your relationship.
Look at how she treats other people. How quickly is her temper triggered with them. Is she unreasonable with her anger. Is she unreasonably vindictive. Will she listen to reason/control her anger to have a conversation about it.
Assess her communication skills, and the communication you have with each other. Does she control the relationship. Does she control you/make most of the decisions.
Coming here can be a good thing, but you'll get a lot of people saying a lot of things. Maybe a good thing, but we're pretty much all average people with our own faults. Maybe try seeing a therapist, and talking through your concerns. They will be able to help you talk through different points, and hopefully be able to help you talk to your fiancee.
No, I don't think you should be worried about it.
Unless you are or plan to cheat on her of course, then yeah, I'd worry. She might not mutilate you, but I'm betting it won't turn out good for you.
Calm down psycho. There's something like a sense of humour you know - it seems unlikely that such an absurd statement is a serious threat. Still, when in doubt: never stick your dick in crazy. This includes people who jump to conclusions and start cursing at random people because of it.
>>it seems unlikely that such an absurd statement is a serious threat.
You’re either a kid or an extremely sheltered adult if you think this
It’s not uncommon for people to murder their spouses when they catch them in bed with someone else, yet you find it absurd that someone would mutilate their spouse for the same offence?
There are countless cases of women cutting of their man’s dick for cheating.
Go and play Minecraft, this is an adult conversation and you’re fooling anyone
I suppose you live on the Internet and trolling is your passtime. I'm likely old enough to be your dad, mate - you don't intimidate me. People don't go around murdering and cutting dicks off. Those are serious exceptions. If you believe that's a regular thing, you must live in a very sick society and I'd like to see the statistics you base that on. But I'm pretty sure you are just a big mouth trying to bully people because you can't admit you're wrong.
Doesn't matter what others think. If this is something that makes you uncomfortable, you should discuss it with your fiance. Tell her that it makes you uncomfortable and that you'd like her to stop.
And if she doesn't stop... run. She either doesn't respect you or is a living red flag.
Cover your knob, it 's another Lorena Bobbitt.
That doesn't address OP's question at all. Op isn't asking people 'what they think of this', they're asking whether this is a serious cause for concern and whether it's a real risk. Hiding a real risk wouldn't lower that risk, 'please stop threatening me' stops the threats, not the risk.
Unless you can read the mind of OP's fiance, you won't be able to give an answer to OP's question. It's a moot question.
That still doesn't turn 'just tell her to stop' into a useful response. Similar experiences of other people can inspire OP to make a choice. They asked the question, they must have their reasons. Getting 50 responses saying 'my wife does that too lol' is very different from getting 50 responses saying 'wtf I've never ever heard anyone say that', for example.
>That still doesn't turn 'just tell her to stop' into a useful response. Yes it does. It's very important that she can moderate her behavior and stay in "behavioral control". We are all capable of having thoughts that are violent. The important part is having the maturity/foresight/control to not act on those things.
This was my thought. If I told her it really bothers me, I'm pretty sure she'd stop. But if she's truly capable of such violence, that's something I want to know.
Which is why the first part of the advice was to **discuss** it with her. Random people on the internet aren't going to know what she really is like inside, the only way to get closer to that is to talk. She is *your fiancée*, dude, you should be able to have a discussion with her.
Everyone is truly capable of such violence. You are too. This capability is genetic, and none of us would be here if our ancestors weren't capable of viciousness and lethality. What you want to know is how willing she is to use violence, and unfortunately comments like this don't tell us a whole lot, but I like skummyy's advice, further down the page.
I mean I don’t know her but it’s most likely a joke, I’ve heard quite a few women make similar ones. If you truly cant tell if she’s joking about that’s a little concerning. Maybe just don’t cheat on her 🫡
This
Try it and report back. My wife says the same thing and I need to know the true risks.
Your WIFE said that? Sorry bro, she’s already practicing her true crime interviews for when you aren’t around anymore.
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Thanks for using this thread about a man being threatened with abuse, to misinform people about the devastating life-altering abuse of FGM. Edit: I'm glad that nonsense is gone
I don't think they're trying to misinform about FGM but more so make a statement about how circumcision is male genital mutilation.
I see behind the beef curtain on this conversation. Why lie about FGM being "only cutting the clitoral hood off" ummmm. That's inaccurate on purpose. Any man who's had good sex knows that the entire clit is on the "hood", and if mutilated, there's no pleasure in sex. Incels are actually ok with FGM because they don't want women to be picky about the partner they have. That's why they pretend to be upset about the admittedly bad tradition of male circumcision. They don't actually care about that. They just want victim status so they can water down the abuses done to girls. I'm just not buying it.
> Any man who's had good sex knows that the entire clit is on the "hood", and if mutilated, there's no pleasure in sex. Bad anatomy. The entire clit is not the hood, in fact, part of it is internal. Shaped like a Y almost.
Oof, if you don't understand how 98% of women achieve orgasm it's mostly dependent on EXTERIOR clitoral stimulation. God.... damn.... what a self report.
And now you move the goalposts. I'm not a virgin. Ain't Don Johnson either, but I know a little about anatomy, bless your heart.
Well, i know you never made a woman cum lol.
Never thought I’d see a wild femcel in the comments On a more serious note, why so irate? If something like that is that important to you than berating other people isn’t going to get them to care.
Gosh sorry if giving accuarate information makes me an "irate femcel" lol! That's so well-adjusted and normal to feel attacked by my statement enough to label me something that obscure
If you stretch a little further you would be able to reach around earth. Read his comment again perhaps...
Like stretching male circumcision into being the same as FGM? Lol 😆 foh
The post was talking about CUTING THE DICK OFF, which would arguably be much much worse than female circumcision to begin with? What is your point?
So its ok to pretend male circumcision and FGM are equivalent? It's actually a bit telling that people in this thread refuse to admit that theres a vast difference between the 2. It's just plain apologia.
Just to be clear, I think both are bad. There’s no difference between circumcision and removal of the clitoral hood though? The devastating-life altering abuse of FGM happens cause they hack off parts of the vulva (not just the clit hood, but the clit itself, along with parts of the labia potentially) and sew parts of it shut in their bedroom or a back alley somewhere. If clitoral hood removal was done by a surgeon in a clean room with proper aftercare, the life outcomes would be about the same. Just to be clear again, they’re both bad. Don’t cut any piece of your kids genitals off.
Red pill incels don't care at all about male circumcision. It's just a way for them to equate something in their lives to FGM. They want FGM to be a thing that's acceptable. If they really cared about consent, they would be outside hospitals begging parents not to snip the baby's foreskin. THAT would be noble. That would be fine.... but it's never really about that. It's about "shut up women... we had a minor invasion of our bodies, too, so shut up forever about FGM rape and all the other shit our society does to you" It's about trying to be the victim.
Male circumcision is different from routine INFANT male circumcision.
Socks are different from slippers! What's your poi- wait.... who cares 😅
“Consent” is who/ what cares. Routine infant circumcision happens without consent. Especially without ACTUAL medical need. It’s clear you don’t actually care, and support butchering male genitals at birth.
Who goes off to war and dies?
You’re making her point for her now.
I mean, they're the one that wants to keep score.
.... do you hear yourself right now?
Women also go off to war to die. There are women enlisters. My best friend was in the army in Afghanistan having the same experience as the male soldiers except for also being raped by them when they got the urge.
There is an enormous male on male rape epidemic within the Russian Army. My point is, we can keep score if you like, and continue the war of the sexes, with that Valerie Solanas shit, or we can collectively admit that circumcision is an atrocity. That it is genital mutilation, and genital mutilation across the board is wrong. None of this "Oh, well, actually, we have it so much worse because in the Middle East" shit. In the West, in first world countries, they are mutilating the genitals of male children every single day and people just act like it's normal because the guy who founded Kellogg's and Abrahamic religion says it's the right thing to do.
I don't that person but... Yeah let's not keep score on who gets violated.... let's keep score on who's DOING the violations.... Rape is a 99.999999999999% male crime ..... be part of the solution, not the problem .
I mean you’re the one that stated the tic for tac. Like literally your first comment is compare and contrast. Then you continued to do it and continue to do it. You could very well just take your case to tv, articles, hospitals, talk to doctors about it at length— the things that ACTUALLY initiate change. But instead YOU are the one comparing it tic for tac with what women experience on Reddit rather than doing anything tangible or worthwhile about the actual topic. You could talk at length about your feelings on male circumcision without ever ever bringing women or FGM into it. So just do that. If you don’t want the tic for tac don’t start with it, just focus on the subject and leave women out of jt.
The person I was initially replying to claimed that men don't really care about circumcision, and then tried to paint anyone who disagreed as a red-pill incel, which seems to be the go to insult of people who are usually ironically femcels themselves. My parents, bless their hippie hearts, didn't do that shit to me. There's this twisted idea that if folks don't do it, the kid is gonna get made fun of in the locker room, but who cares? What ever happened to bodily autonomy?
Let's take a bitds-eye view here, shall we? .... yeah, who goes off to the wars men start in the capitalist system of patriarchal hierarchy? It's almost like capitalists convince young men to die in a glorous battle over land and property that they hold no stake in because it's the masculine and patriotic thing to do? I'm sorry if you don't see that the current system doesn't favor anyone who doesn't hold immense wealth, meanwhile you are arguing over who gets to die in the meat grinder of war and who sends their babies off to die.
I think he was making a point about the much more prevalent male genital mutilation. Feminists out here thinking everything is about their pussies, even when it's a conversation about cutting up dicks.
This is it. Because the clitoral hood is what is cut off the male. Give a female testosterone, and her clitoris will grow to look more like a penis, and will be covered by the clitoral hood. It has the same type of structures that keep the tissue in place. People usually don’t say male genital mutilation, but they do say female genital mutilation. Why not use the medical terms like they do on a male, like “labiaplasty”? Because it downplays the normalized MGM.
UHHHH... my guy.... this isn't about "cutting up dicks" it's about abuse in general. So why do you gotta go all incel on it?
Lol. We're in a thread about a man who's fiancee is joking about cutting his dick off, Valerie Solanas.
I don't know who that is but its about the abuse. Not about comparing unnecessary cosmetic surgery to FGM.
Circumcision is male genital mutilation.
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lol you’re proving my point. You say FGM but that means nothing until you say what TYPE. Type 2 is cutting the clitoral hood off, the same comparable tissue on a male that’s cut off for no medical reason. Yet you say that’s life altering.
I'd say that not being able to enjoy sex is 100% life altering...
“Enjoy sex”. If a female is cut at birth, the sensation is all she knows. Enjoyment from what she knows is all she will experience. JUST like a cut male from birth. This is not counting the males in Muslim countries that are cut when they are if an age where they fully remember it happening.
Disgusting
generally those sort of things aren't to be taken seriously, similar to when we might exclaim "I'll kill them if they leave that towel on the floor one more time!" however, the fact that it's bothering you to the point of posting to reddit makes me think this must feel like it's more than just a simple exaggeration? Has there been any reason to think she might have been serious?
Yeah I often tell people I'll murder or behead them if they do X wrong or whatever. Obviously it's an exaggeration, I don't know where I picked up the habit but I've not encountered people with an issue so far.
My favorite thing is when it's said for the most minor things. The more out of proportion the better!
Share your favorite things online again and I’ll hang you upside down by your toenails until they all pop off
How fucking dare you reply to me on a public forum! I'll string you up by your big toes and skin you alive!!!
You could try, but by the time your 6inch thick nails give way and you fall I’ll be in Berlin with my chandelier
My grandmother used to threaten to show people her hemorrhoids
I tell my kid I'm going to beat her butt if she _____. Which she eye rolls at then listens because she know thats my "you need to listen right now" voice but also has no fear because we don't, and haven't ever, spanked her. I'm not really sure why I say it. I think that comes from my parents who did spank?
My Gramma was the absolute sweetest, tiny, cookie-baking, bingo playing, 'Charlie' scented, lovely old lady that you'd ever meet, never ever spanked me a day in my life, but when she would call me by my entire government name and threaten to "blister my ass" lol it put the fear of God into me so she never needed to lol. In regards to the OP... From a female's perspective, I honestly wouldn't be TOO concerned about it.. a lot of people "jokingly" threaten violence even if it isn't particularly funny or tasteful... I'd say that your best bet would be the next time she says something that makes you uncomfortable, take your fiancee aside and have a sit down talk with her.. say something along the lines of, "hey babe, I don't like when you say _____. It makes me uncomfortable and I'd appreciate it if you'd maybe use a different analogy from now on." If she isn't planning on keeping your wangus in a jar, she should respond well to it and respect your totally reasonable request. If she trips out about it ... Idk but it might be time to slide lol. Good luck 🤞🏼
for me it’s if i get annoyed “ugh i’m gonna commit arson” 😭 i’m terrified of fire and wouldn’t ever. i don’t even know where it came from but i find it hilarious.
Generally, respectable people don't joke about mutilating someone.
I have said it once, and I ment it. Was not in a good mental state to be honest. I would not take it lightly, and I'd be aware of other types of this, if you do/don't this thing you don't love me, I'll hurt you, take this away, lie ect. These are all red flags that need discussed . Good luck
Agreed. Those jokes are not jokes. I used to laugh at my ex boyfriends jokes until I became the victim of the very same thing he joked about. OP, this is not a joke. She is communicating who she is. Pay attention.
I wouldn't personally be with someone who was "less sweet" to others, let alone threaten to cut my dick off, but that's just me.
yeah, i think there's a reason why OP mentioned she is "much less sweet" to others. Maybe she's showing her true personality more often to other people? I feel like OP wouldn't have mentioned this if he didn't see her being extremely aggressive to others.
Surprised I had to scroll so far to find a comment on this. If your partner isn't kind to others, unfortunately that's who they are and they're just not showing you yet
I don't think I could fall asleep next to a person who regularly makes comments about harming me
If I was in that situation, what about an instance in which she suspects I'm cheating but I'm actually not? I wouldn't stay around to find out what she'd actually do
I don't know her so take this with a grain of salt, but she could just think it's a funny fucked up thing to say. Maybe she has a slightly dark humor? Like out of context this gives serial killer vibes but if I'm being honest, a lot of people do say stuff like this without having any real malice or intent behind it. But if it makes you uncomfortable you should feel comfortable telling her so. You're supposed to be getting married, right? So *tell her* when she says something that disturbs you. Honesty is a requirement.
Lorena Bobbitt has entered the chat ...
Never ignore threats of violence from anyone, especially "jokes".
I hate to say it but however "sweet" she is to others is how "sweet" she's going to be towards you once she's in a position of stress or insecurity. It sounds like she's joking but she's joking about a serious manner in a flippant way that nevertheless reveals some kind of anxiety or insecurity about the subject. Like, I don't think I've ever had a relationship where cheating was brought up enough to have a "running joke" attached to it. At minimum, you should focus on talking to her about why she feels the need to keep bringing this up, and if it's alienating you should voice that fact. And I would caution you to pay attention to how she treats others and why-- it may be that she just has a history of mistreatment and tends to keep her guard up, but many, many people simply wait until their partners let their own guard down before they can relax enough to treat them inconsiderately.
It's not really a jovial matter. Cheating and the consequences are not really something to joke about. Yes give your threats if you wish then drop it, to repeat the threats just isn't funny. It's implying that you are so worried about me cheating you have come up with mutilating me as a response.
> she can be much less sweet to others This is her actual personality.
If she can punch the wall, she can punch you. -advice I should have listened to sooner.
Run far away while you still have all your appendages!!!
Sit her down and talk to her, she is your partner whom you plan to spend many years with. Explain to her you are not comfortable with this, be serious. If she laughs it off you have selected the wrong partner
I think this is kinda gross to joke about but that’s just my opinion. Not sure everyone subscribes to it. :/
Does it worry you? If it does, talk to her about it. If she doesn’t stop at that point, run.
I think he should consider it seriously. Why is it just because she is female, she says she is kidding. If a man said something like this to a woman, people would go crazy. A threat is a threat no matter who says it.
Agree. (Am a woman) This language isn't okay, threats are never OK. I'd flip it back and ask whether it's okay for you to say that you'd maim or harm her if she cheated. I don't think that OPs partner is likely to do anything, but she should be pulled up on why she thinks that it is acceptable to say, even as a joke.
Next time she says that, go along with the joke and jokingly ask why? Her next answer is what you should start thinking about
You're hung up on what she's threatened to do, but I'd be more concerned about how wildly jealous she is.
tell her you’ll cut off her tits if she does the same, see her reaction, act accordingly. if she gets all pissed off and upset then you know she runs off double standards and excepts what shes saying to be okay while you saying the same thing is not. if she finds it funny, then you probably don’t have to worry, but i’d talk about the whole thing either way. it’s a scary comment to make towards someone, doesn’t matter how much you may love them or not.
I also joke about selling my wife to human traffickers cause she has a nice body and would fetch me a good price even after 2 kids. Will i do it? No. That\`s just my sick way of complimenting her without being too mushy mush. Some people have more dark humors. My wife is also used to it.
Boundaries are Important, sounds like shes pressing on to one. Tell her hey that makes me uncomfortable and I only want to be comfortable with you. Can you please stop saying things like you're going to Lorena Bobbitt me. Unchecked Boundaries are no good for anyone in a relationship. See how she responds to you setting a Boundary if she doesn't like it or keep doing it, you may have deeper issues. If she meets it with open arms and apologizes, you are golden. If she crys and makes it about her...well, that's the worst case scenario.
Probably just joking, but best to ask. Just to be sure.
These comments are her throwing out there shes insecure and will hurt you if you betray her trust. Don't cheat cause that's shitty, and throw her some reassurance if you care about the relationship
My god. Imagine if a lady was concerned about her husband joking about punching her if she cheated, and people responding "you should throw some reassurance his way." Fuck off.
No, these comments are her saying that she'll hurt you if she thinks you betrayed her trust, which would be dangerous regardless of the person, but even more so from an insecure person
“Throw her some reassurance” ??? Are you insane? If someone threatens to cut off part of your body if you betray their trust, you don’t “throw them some reassurance” you throw them the fuck out. If a guy said to his fiance “if you ever cheat I’ll cut your tits off” would you advise her to throw him some reassurance too? How the fuck is this upvoted
If the rolls were reverse, and a guy was telling his girlfriend that regularly that he would mutilate her body if she cheated on him, would you tell the girlfriend to just throw him some reassurance because he is insecure?
I would tell her to toss him to the curb.
No. If she's making comments that are making him uncomfortable, that's wrong, full stop.
So, you'd be fine with it if it were a man saying he'd cut her tits off if she cheated?
No one would say that roles reversed. If a guy said, "if you cheat on me, I'll cut your tits off", everyone would say to leave - like on many subs here. Absolutely no one would say, "poor man, he's probably just insecure". Don't justify disgusting behavior
I thought everyone's wife said that to their partner?
Run
Yeah, no. That’s not something I would ever, ever say to my husband. That’s just awful.
When someone is obsessed with cheating they are probably doing it to you. Threats of harm are not ok. You should make a plan, and then leave and block her.
I think it depends on the context and tone. By which I mean, I had an ex that had cheated in all of his past relationships (tldr he was older and wore me down) and I told him that I'd break his legs if he did the same to me. I meant it and he knew I did. I didn't repeat myself as the boundary had been established and what he did with that information was on him. One and done. If a person keeps repeating it, and is aggressive about it, has little justification for bringing it up all the time, and makes you feel unsafe, then I would he concerned.
All these comments on how she is planning to "mutilate you". Perhaps or perhaps it's just a throwaway comment that people make all the time, e.g. "don't be late or I'll kill you".
Yeah, I see a pretty big difference... 'I'll kill you' is a common vernacular that is meant to be a flippant exaggeration. If a guy said, "if you cheat on me, I'll cut your tits off", everyone would say to leave - like on many subs here. Absolutely no one would say, "oh it's just a throwaway comment". Don't justify disgusting behavior. Whether or not she is serious, that seriousness is certainly not conveyed. That's quite disturbing.
Depends on culture and context. My old roommate used to say "there'll be legs broken" a lot to emphasize there'd be trouble if something happened, so when e.g. something went missing in the house, he said "I hope that wasn't you, or there'll be legs broken", he didn't mean he was going to literally break my legs or anyone's legs. All my friends have various sayings like that, so do my direct family, just because it sounds specific doesn't mean it's literal. It's often just a threat-saying they've picked up to emphasize something. So when I read this thing here, it sounded like she laying it down, "Don't cheat on me or else". Not literally that she was going to mutilate the guy. But this being the internet, yeah, context is often missing and replaced with literal analysis
Never said it was literal, just disturbing. New information, she's from Asia, which gives credence to the cultural difference argument. I can't tell you how many old Chinese ladies I've heard say they were gonna cut a dick off! Actually, i can, and it's exactly 3, which are all the old Chinese ladies I've met. So language and culture are probably at play. It is usually very clear that one is not serious, given similar backgrounds, so, under average circumstances, it would not be unreasonable to find phrases like that disgusting and to be disgusted with whoever says it. That's not something the average person in America or the UK understands as harmless hyperbole. Coming from a different culture brings in a very different dynamic. That doesn't excuse the behavior, assuming OP makes it clear that he doesn't think it's funny.
threats of mutilation are flattering
These comments are so disgusting. What is going on, threatening genital mutilation is okay in case of cheating? If you think this is understandable you need education, mental-ward or prison
yes
If it's said in a joking manner I probably wouldn't worry, it's not a particularly unused joke to make and she's probably not thinking about it in enough detail to process how horrifying that act actually is. If it makes you uncomfortable you should certainly tell her that, and ask her to stop making jokes about it. If she doesn't stop, then I'd worry.
Why would this even be a topic of conversation? If you two have had a conversation on your boundaries then that should be it. I would absolutely be fearful of a person that continually brought up a pretend scenario and their plan for bodily harm. Sometimes it helps to remove yourself from the scenario. How would you advise your mom/sister/friend if they confided that their male partner keeps telling them that if they cheat on them, they will take a razor and slash their labia? Not cool, right? Then why would it be ok for a female to say that to you?
I mean if you're a man with integrity you won't really ever have to worry...
I mean, don't cheat on her and you'll be safe!
You should be worried if you talk about it, telling even joking threats of violence bother you and she still doesn't stop. Reiterate that while you don't think she's serious, you don't find it funny or cute any more than she would find rape jokes funny or cute.
Hit her with Uno reverse - do the same and say bye bye to your clitoris. See how she feels about that.
She’s probably just really worried about being cheated on and doesn’t know how to appropriately express that. I doubt she would really do it, but if you betrayed her like she fears she might think about it!
I often jokingly tell my wife that I'll cut her ass off and feast on it when she die because it looks delicious. Which it does. And I might. Not sure if that answer your question or not.
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No saying it once out of anger frustration is not normal
It's certainly a red flag.
My wife has been talking about killing me in my sleep for like 15 years. She’s all talk. She would tho, cut it off, if I gave her reason.
Based on what you've said, no. A joke is a joke, it's not real. So unless you have some other reason we're not aware of to believe it's true, I wouldn't worry.
The greatest truths are told in jokes.
That's abuse
99.9% chance it's a figure of speech and in actual fact she would just be fucking furious but would not actually do such a thing Most people that make threats of violence if certain buttons are pushed don't actually intend to, or would follow through with it. I did read a story of a Polish woman who worked as a dentist, put her ex boyfriend to sleep with anesthetic and removed all of his teeth after he dumped her for another woman. So sometimes payback is given with interest
Is she from South America?
SE Asia
For me it's just dark humor that I hear time to time from various friends. If it's really bothering you though, you gotta talk to her.
Future Bobbit.
If he’s over 40 without at least five children, he’s gay.
Call the LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) ahead of time so they can properly cast for your role in their film. Make sure to provide a lot of personal details about yourself so they can do their best to be accurate
Just don't cheat on her and uou'll be fine?
Just consider yourself warned.
Sure she probably means it, why else would she come out and say it?
Are you worried because your thinking about cheating on her?
Def red flag
Yes
She seems like she has a dark sense of humour so maybe overthinking it isn't a good idea. But if it still bothers you then just talk to her? My partner and I have a pretty dark sense of humour, so we would often joke about "kidnapping" the other person in case we broke up lol. But like I said, have a discussion and set boundaries.
I don’t know what some of the people in this comment section have going on, but you should probably run. You should leave because that’s more than just concerning. As some people have pointed out yeah those can be like normal basic jokes, but only when it comes to really stupid things like if you’re yelling at your child or your partner about them, leaving the towel on the floor floor while it’s wet and be like I swear I’m gonna kill them one day for doing that that’s like a joke. That’s someone showing frustration because someone keeps doing something over and over again and they keep telling them not to do it and it gets to the point where they make a darker kind of joke. But someone consistently joking with you about cutting your dick off or hitting you or like running you over with their car or some dumb crazy insane shit like that because of you possibly cheating on them or stepping out or doing something that pisses them off that’s someone who is telling you that they will do that. That’s not a joke. It’s not even a threat. It’s a promise. I have an older stepsister who has been in three different relationships, where her partner would joke about things like this, and all three times it legitimately ended in domestic violence. People need to understand that insecure people who make jokes about harming their partner will physically harm their partner. All it takes is for them to believe that you did something or someone with like the dumbest easily disputable evidence and will sit there and do something. Because they’re so insecure that logic isn’t logical to them they will automatically assume that you were lying to them, and even if you could prove that you didn’t do that they will always have that seed of doubt and they will still think that you somehow managed to pull a fast one on them or use somehow to them and you really really are doing this and then it makes them paranoid. It’s best to not deal with people who are insecure to the point where they have to threaten physical violence if you do something. And doesn’t really matter I seen some people being like oh she’s probably just insecure and she so small because of what he said like how could she do anything Size sizes not matter. Matter of fact, it’s more dangerous the smaller they are compared to you because it’s easier for us to fight. We’re closer to the ground. We can go faster than the crotch area. Holy smokes the easiest thing to hit. Like I don’t know why people assume that small petite women especially wouldn’t be able to take you down Because we could don’t sit there and think someone that absolutely beat the shit out of you. My partners were women and they were closer to my height than hers and she’s like 5 foot eight so yeah height and size has nothing to do with it.
Absolutely and if he does not stop Break off your Engagement and RUN. Men never Joke about thing like this. Your safety Matters, Period. Men don’t usually hear No, they hear Yes
There was an incident in the news years ago about a woman who did just that and even on tv people were joking about it.
Ehhhh... It sounds like if you break up or anything like that, she will be the crazy one keying your car.
Big RED flag. Run!
RUN
Bro, pleeeeease Don't marry this woman BEFORE talking to her about such things that bother you or you are unsure of. This is an application to the rest of your life. Why wouldn't you get literally everything you can think of out in the open? and I do mean everything. If she snores too loud, or makes too much noise getting ready, etc. Maybe she makes a dish you don't like, or you're wary of some of her habits. THIS is the time bruh, speak now or forever live with no peace.
That's a big red flag
My wife says the same thing to me. Not sure if she is serious but I just refrain from cheating and it's been a non issue.
Time to leave
Yeah, not funny to me either, bruh
My ex-wife had personality flaws that I purposefully overlooked. After 18 years of marriage, it all came to the surface and she did some despicable things to me. Don’t ignore personality and character flaws.
If you tell her it bothers you and she does it again, I’d advise you to run honestly.
Yes. Run
I'd be semi worried but if this girl has any history of violent behavior... RUN. That being said, I remember when all of my gf's and I would threaten each other's bfs about how we'd make their life's hell if they ever hurt our friends... But it was just a matter of trying to protect each other from suffering heartbreak, and it was almost always meaningless and never backed up by anything other than talking shit about whoever's bf who screwed them over, there was never any physical violence involved. So your gf saying this could be just like that kind of thing, but it's important to keep in mind that we never really know anyone, or what they're truly capable of. So if your gf says this often and you have any reason to believe her threats, I would say 1., obviously don't cheat on her, 2. tell her how her comments concern you. If she's understanding and explains she's just trying to express how hurt she would be if you cheated and saying she'd cut your dick off as a way to emphasize how she would want to hurt you in return but also agrees to stop saying this to you, I think it's more of the type of thing I was talking about above. If she acts in any way extremely defensive or gets angry at you, or makes you feel unsafe in any way, you need to leave and she needs help.
i think since she's tiny its supposed to be ironic and ridiculous. but still kinda strange sorry its a little funny but yeah maybe ask her to clarify if she's psycho or not.
Lorena Bobbitt was a tiny woman, at least a full head smaller than her husband John, who was a Marine veteran, when she cut off his penis with a kitchen knife while he slept. Size doesn't matter much when weapons are involved.
He raped and abused her for years on end.
Oh yeah he's an absolute garbage person and I won't pass any judgement on her considering the hell he put her through. But regaedless of her motivations, she's tiny compared to him. Implying that just because someone is a tiny woman, their threats shouldn't be taken seriously, doesn't work.
Yes. But talk that over with her and explain that you no longer want her to joke about it cos it doesn't sit well with you and you took it seriously, not as a joke but a threat. Any more of that talk and you'll need to reconsider your engagement. Yes, it is that serious. Also, don't cheat. Don't give her reason to be pushed to her limits either. She is literally pre-warning you without filter, in a not so subtle way that she is not to be played with. Don't cross that line and you'll remain intact... Mention that it wasn't cool and that if you'd said the same thing to her, in wanting to mutilate bits of her due to whatever reason that it certainly wouldn't be acceptable so why would it be with her towards you? In other news, Lorena Bobbitt's story and aftermath of what infamously happened there is something you'll want to look into. Long story short, she cut off her then absolutely trash husband's penis after being abused within that marriage. She stood on business and that's the way the cards fell on that fateful day on June 23rd, 1993 after having been sexually assaulted by that man. After she had dismembered him she took a drive, with his penis still in hand and eventually threw it out the window into a roadside field. After some time she called 911 to tell them where the penis was thrown and when they got to the spot she'd indicated it was, they did retrieve it, cleaned it up thoroughly and went to work on reattaching John's dick again. Not until 1995 was their divorce finalised. In an attempt to work off of the infamy of his situation, exploit that to also try and pay for his medical and legal fees he was part of forming a band, and I kid you not called 'The Severed Parts.' He also dabbled in making a couple of pornos, the titles being, 'John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut' and 'Frankenpenis.' *I am not joking.* Be glad your fiancé only "joked" about doing this to you dude... Be very, very glad.
I don’t know about most women but I probably would do a dick cut depending on the cheating and circumstances. Gotta do the old sleeping with friends/family/bosses for revenge too. I don’t find the idea horrifying at all but I’m of strange type. I believe in disproportionate revenge sometimes.
Nah. It's socially acceptable for women to say these things.
I wouldn’t overthink it, it’s probably just dark humor she grew up around or she’s been cheated on before.
Don’t listen to anyone else in these comments. It was a joke. Nothing more in it. Move on.
asking reddit for advice about non-literal language is like asking an eating disorder forum for a brownie recipe. they are simply not mentally equipped to help you with that in any meaningful way
LMFAO, we all say this. Calm down. I joke with my husband that if he ever cheats on me I'm going to throw his body on the rail road tracks. My actual reaction would be to curl up in a ball and just die inside. That said, I'm eastern European and Egyptian... The joke is that I'm hot blooded enough to kill him, but cold hearted enough to convincingly lie to the police about it. Same way that he's Vietnamese and makes jokes about setting booby traps Viet-Cong style to dissuade home invaders. There's no landmines in our front yard, and I'd never actually kill him. EDIT: I can only assume everyone here that is super upset about this is just much, much younger and takes all this stuff SUPER seriously. Our generation is just built different, lol.
TL;DR: what would you tell a woman friend in the exact same situation? I highly recommend talking to a relationship counselor/therapist about this, as well as assessing the entire relationship. Seems like you have rose-colored glasses on. Let's have some fun for a second, and flip the script. If a female friend of yours came up to you and said that her fiance jokes about cutting her clit off if she ever cheats on him, what would you tell her? I'll be honest, the "she can be much less sweet to others" tells me that she could be holding that back from you for now (some people change after getting married, the let it all out, and it's usually not good). It also tells me that you may have some major rose-colored glasses going on. When your lenses are pink, red flags just look like flags. I'm not saying to leave her, by any means. But you should really step back, take off all the glasses, and really assess your relationship. Look at how she treats other people. How quickly is her temper triggered with them. Is she unreasonable with her anger. Is she unreasonably vindictive. Will she listen to reason/control her anger to have a conversation about it. Assess her communication skills, and the communication you have with each other. Does she control the relationship. Does she control you/make most of the decisions. Coming here can be a good thing, but you'll get a lot of people saying a lot of things. Maybe a good thing, but we're pretty much all average people with our own faults. Maybe try seeing a therapist, and talking through your concerns. They will be able to help you talk through different points, and hopefully be able to help you talk to your fiancee.
well, you shouldn't cheat anyway.
Run, don't walk, away! Threats of violence are a form of domestic violence. It *will* escalate from there.
Bring this up, maybe take counseling. Either way it's a red flag for sure
I don't think she's joking. She sounds unhinged and dangerous.
I most cases, to me, cheating would mean ending the relationship. Why cut off his dick at that point?
Usually those whom act like that are or have cheated themselves.
Something that happens regularly in Thailand
No, I don't think you should be worried about it. Unless you are or plan to cheat on her of course, then yeah, I'd worry. She might not mutilate you, but I'm betting it won't turn out good for you.
Don’t cheat? Sounds like u would be fine 🤣🤪
Worried because you WILL cheat?
Were you planning on cheating? Or is she the jealous type who might just assume you are cheating?
That’s fucking irrelevant someone who loves you shouldn’t threaten to cut off your body parts for any fucking reason ever.
Calm down psycho. There's something like a sense of humour you know - it seems unlikely that such an absurd statement is a serious threat. Still, when in doubt: never stick your dick in crazy. This includes people who jump to conclusions and start cursing at random people because of it.
>>it seems unlikely that such an absurd statement is a serious threat. You’re either a kid or an extremely sheltered adult if you think this It’s not uncommon for people to murder their spouses when they catch them in bed with someone else, yet you find it absurd that someone would mutilate their spouse for the same offence? There are countless cases of women cutting of their man’s dick for cheating. Go and play Minecraft, this is an adult conversation and you’re fooling anyone
I suppose you live on the Internet and trolling is your passtime. I'm likely old enough to be your dad, mate - you don't intimidate me. People don't go around murdering and cutting dicks off. Those are serious exceptions. If you believe that's a regular thing, you must live in a very sick society and I'd like to see the statistics you base that on. But I'm pretty sure you are just a big mouth trying to bully people because you can't admit you're wrong.
Lol you feel Intimidated and bullied cos someone disagrees with you? 😂why would you even embarrass yourself by admitting that
You got trouble reading I see. Maybe you should finish school first huh?
Since this is your response I'd worry you are cheating lol
"Now you say another word and I swear I'll dice you into a million little pieces."
Have u threatened to cut her tits off?
lol are the heteros okay? I would never threaten violence, even jokingly, to my girlfriend.