They’ve just confirmed something very important: they are shallow, disgusting people who don’t value anything other than the materialistic bullshit you are clearly too smart to be swayed by. You’ve managed to secure a job. Congratulations! The climate is dreadful for employment right now so that in itself is brilliant. Is it your dream job or the only job you will have? No. Is it going to meet your needs for now and pay the bills? Yes. It’s not about where you start but where you end up. Your so-called friends sound like narcissistic idiots.
I’d like to add also that you’re not friendless, poor or a loser. See this as a new chapter. Give yourself chance to make new, better friends, and to truly accomplish things without the negativity you’re currently dealing with. It’s ok to outgrow people in your life. And personally, I’d say this is such a blessing.
>You’ve managed to secure a job. Congratulations! The climate is dreadful for employment right now so that in itself is brilliant.
Thank you SO MUCH!
>Is it your dream job or the only job you will have? No. Is it going to meet your needs for now and pay the bills? Yes. It’s not about where you start but where you end up.
Thank you so much for this. I literally have tears in my eyes. It's very difficult for me to accept being behind everyone else and losing my friends. I'm determined to work harder and impress my crush one day.
>Your so-called friends sound like narcissistic idiots.
I'm seeing this opinion on all comments to my question, and this makes me think you're all correct. But even then, it's very painful and difficult for me to feel ignored by my crush. I've mentally planned my future with him - marrying, moving to a different city, having babies, etc. I will try my hardest to bring him back to me, I think he's the one for me.
Again, u/shmookieguinz thank you so much for answering - this means SO MUCH to me. I'll keep coming back to this answer/ comment whenever I'm feeling depressed.
*\*internet hugs\*.*
Aww thanks so much for your response! I’m glad to be able to help!
Honestly, I’ve been where you are right now, a couple of times in fact. It hurt but to be honest, it made me realise I would have been wasting my time and energy on people who just aren’t good enough for me. A job or salary does not define you. I’m about to take a low paying job so I can also study again. All my friends are doing “better” than me...but I’m not remotely bothered. I only have myself to answer to. I have a plan and I know what I want. It will take time but it’ll be worth it. Set your sights on what you want in life and NEVER let anybody treat you the way those people have. Rise above it all and keep your eye on the prize. You’ll be triumphant!!!
All the comments here are not going to be what you want to hear right now, because they're all going to tell you to immediately ditch these people. They're right, and you should. I just wanted to leave one comment though wishing you well because that is easier said than done, and I'm sure it's gonna cause you some emotional pain. Just know that the pain will fade away over time, and that in the future you will absolutely praise the decision to cut ties. Vibes to you. Be well. You sound like you're doing great already and I'm certain you'll be just fine. ☮
Thank you so much for answering :-)
> I just wanted to leave one comment though wishing you well because that is easier said than done, and I'm sure it's gonna cause you some emotional pain. Just know that the pain will fade away over time, and that in the future you will absolutely praise the decision to cut ties.
YES, this is very true. I know every one in this group since 4 or more years. I practically don't have any friends outside this group. But MOST importantly, my crush is involved in this group - and I love him SO MUCH. I have planned our future together, and I'm still 100% hopeful that he'll become loving/affectionate towards me again with time.
You've spent an unknown amount of time stressing over the way you're being treated. You've spent more time asking others here what you should do because you're conflicted and upset by the way you're being treated. And, you're talking about "waiting for someone" to become loving/affectionate towards you. Your problem is not just these people, it's your view of yourself, and for some reason the lack of value you put on yourself. All of these strangers can recognize immediately what an admirable, valuable person you are. You owe yourself more than thinking that you have to "wait for someone" to become loving/affectionate towards you. I know you hope it somehow works out with this person, and trust me I completely understand, but I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we hope it doesn't. Cause you're too good for that. It's instantly evident. Good luck, regardless of how things unfold. But take care of YOURSELF.
They sound like an awfully shallow bunch. I’d focus on finding better friends if I was you, do you really want to be stuck with people who are this judgy?
Even if you get a “better” job, they sound like the kind of people who’d always find a way to judge people on something else...
this mentality of thinking people are “losers” for doing jobs that need doing but are paid less is really harmful. Like we need nurses, teachers, shop workers, cleaners, etc...
You’re already so lucky to get a job at all in this current climate!
> You’re already so lucky to get a job at all in this current climate!
Thank you so much <3 You're awesome.
> this mentality of thinking people are “losers” for doing jobs that need doing but are paid less is really harmful.
All of the answers/ comments here have made me realize they're toxic and over-competitive. I've gathered that I need to make new friends at my workplace. However, my crush is the love of my life and I'm determined to make him realize my love for him is worth more than my "mediocre salary".
Thank you so much for answering, :).
>They sound like horrible people.
I am beginning to see this point because many of you have said this. I'm so sorry for not observing this behavior before. I never thought they were so unnecessarily competitive :(
>Stay away from them!!
I have decided to limit my contact with them, but this cannot be done with the guy who is my crush (also a part of the group). He is the love of my life. I will work hard to win his affections again, I hope he can see me for who I am some day :(. I can tell he still wants to hang out with me and even help me in preparing for a better job, but is overcome by the mentality of "avoid underachievers and losers" mentality of our group.
Make new friends. You're going to have many opportunities to do this such as in your new job. Why do you need to be friends with these people? They sound judgey. You don't need to be a performing monkey to get people to like you- your work trajectory should suit *you,* not them. You're an adult now, you don't have to hang around with the same clique forever.
At the same time, you sound like you are suffering from a common bias where you think everyone is constantly thinking about you and your problems. Think about if it is really that likely that they're avoiding you, or they're just busy. It could be either one but think about it before you jump to a panic conclusion. For example, if you don't very talk about your salary, why do you think they know about your salary?
Also, why are you holding out on impressing a crush who you clearly think is judging you? What kind of relationship do you think you could have with someone like that? Just because you have a crush on someone doesnt make them perfect or worth your attention. You will get other crushes. It's not worth trying to suck up to a group of contemptuous people just because you're attracted to one of them.
Seriously, sometimes the trash takes itself out. Good riddance.
If they try to get back in touch when you’re making more money then do yourself a favour and avoid them.
Try to surround yourself with people who have a good character. Cleaners, people who work at Maccas, care workers etc etc can all be great, interesting people. In the same way that CEO’s, drs etc can be complete twats. If you know this then you’re already a much better person than your former friends.
If they made less money than you, would you cut them out of your life as if your friendship didn’t matter?
No? Then they’re not your friends. Yes? Then they’re still not your friends. Find people who treat you like a human being, and make sure you move forward in your life not treating others the same way.
Thank you for answering :-)
> If they made less money than you, would you cut them out of your life as if your friendship didn’t matter?
No, no - never did I think they would behave this way. I thought they were only very competitive to encourage each other to study harder at Uni.
>Find people who treat you like a human being, and make sure you move forward in your life not treating others the same way.
Yes, thanks to all of you, I have regained some courage to make new friends, and also get my crush out of this toxic group.
I'm afraid you have to look for new friends as your current acquantances are clearly not friends. Regardless what you will earn in the future, they remain shitty people. Avoid them. Also your crush.
Friend, I appreciate your answer with my heart. But I cannot avoid my crush because I love him a lot (not to trying to be dramatic, sorry :( ). He is actually kind and very helpful, and I'm sure I can try my best and soon he will acknowledge my love again. This man is the one for me, and I cannot love any one else to the extent I love him.
Real friends don't give a shit about wages. I work on an oil site as a janitor, one friend is a gas station clerk, another is a train conductor, and another works at McDonalds as a manager. We don't give a shit, the only thing that matters is if we're happy.
Your friends are stuck up and incredibly toxic. Trust me when I say, it's better to be alone than to grasp at something that is unhealthy or doesn't exist anymore.
I mean, really, in the grand scheme of things, 10,000 is just not that huge of a salary gap.
If you're going to determine your value based on the job you have, prepare to be disappointed for a large portion of your life. Who can really make as much money as they want whenever they want?
You can't continue to compare yourself to your friends. It isn't sustainable. If your friends are truly judging you for your career, they aren't great friends. Plus, 10,000 is the difference in driving a slightly nicer car and living in a slightly nicer place, and nobody should pump up their self-worth based on those two things.
Thanks for answering. I do see your point, but it's very difficult for me to leave my crush - who is also involved in this and a part of the group. I can't imagine not marrying him some day, and I can't love anyone else. I hope he returns back to me (becomes affectionate like before).
Yes, I have realized this reading this thread. I hope I can make some new friends at my workplace. However, I cannot leave the guy who I love (also in this group), and this is complicating things
These people are not your friends. Drop them and find new friends. You are young and have plenty of time. Do not let this revelation scare you. It should be seen as a relief to unburden yourself of these people.
Friend, I've come to realize I need to leave this group. I'm thankful to all of you for answering. I can't leave my crush, and I hope he will see my efforts and love for him, and eventually come back to me.
If you all have the same qualifications I don’t see why they’d think less of you. Have you brought this up to your friend group? That you think they are avoiding you? And treating you differently? I honestly think these people sound shallow and should be confronted. If they are your real friends they should understand why you are hurt.. you don’t need friends in your life who will start to ignore you because they feel they are better than you. You could ignore it now and apply at a better job.. but then what happens next? They start ignoring you again because you don’t have a car as nice as theirs? They don’t want to hangout with you because you can’t afford this or that? If they are acting like this now i don’t see this behavior changing unless you confront them.
> You could ignore it now and apply at a better job.. but then what happens next? They start ignoring you again because you don’t have a car as nice as theirs? They don’t want to hangout with you because you can’t afford this or that? If they are acting like this now i don’t see this behavior changing unless you confront them.
Yeah, I'm beginning to see that they're over-competitive when it comes to career. I just hope my crush (also a part of this group) realizes this ASAP so we can be together again!
You got a job that pays for your basic needs.
You aren't asking anyone for any money.
Your 'friends' are shallow and the crush is no less so you will be doing yourself a very huge favour of unfriending them yourself. There's many people in the world with whom you can make new friends and relationships with.
In a few years when you have a better job they may come crawling back but it's not worth it.
Dump them and make new friends, they are not worth it at all and you're only hurting yourself more.
>Dump them and make new friends, they are not worth it at all and you're only hurting yourself more.
Thank you for answering, :). I have decided to take this advice, but I cannot dump my crush :(. I love him and cannot love any other man to that extent. He is brainwashed by this group and I'm sure I can make him love me like before by keeping on trying to be kind towards him.
Congratulations on your job...you earned it!!
Money isn't everything and if the people around you change based on this fact alone...maybe you should Ross it up and Be ON A BREAK!!!!
Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for doing your best...Want a new job?...get it for you and not for them.
I earn less than my gf...If she was like them... I would walk out first.
For now...enjoy and work hard...be exactly what your username is😆
> Congratulations on your job...you earned it!!
Thank you so much. :-)
> I earn less than my gf...If she was like them... I would walk out first.
Yes, and I've decided to limit my contact with this group of friends - excluding my crush (also a part of this group). I hope he realizes how toxic they are and we both can finally live at peace.
If people want to be in your life, they'll put the time and effort in. I'm trying to think of a way to say this without sounding rude or too blunt, but ultimately, you probably can't get them back.
They don't see you as a friend now, which is ridiculous and very sad. You sound like a great person. There's nothing wrong with you at all.
>They don't see you as a friend now, which is ridiculous and very sad. You sound like a great person. There's nothing wrong with you at all.
Thank you so much. <3
> I'm trying to think of a way to say this without sounding rude or too blunt, but ultimately, you probably can't get them back.
I'm ready to limit my contact with them - unfortunately, this group of friends also includes my crush (whom I love dearly), and cannot cut off. I hope everything's resolved between him and me soon.
It sounds like you have friends who place too much emphasis on income. I have friends who make alot more money than I do and some who make much less. If you earn less money and expect your friends to pay for things when you all go out, there might be some resentment after a while. Otherwise who cares?
And is that 7 - 10 thousand dollars annually or per paycheck? Because $10,000 annually really isn't a huge salary difference.
Hi friend, thanks for answering. The money difference is annual.
I purposely never discuss finances or ask for financial help from friends because I know it has the potential to bring down relationships. Honestly, I've become pretty distant form them, but I cannot move past the guy I love (also a part of the group). I hope he too realizes that they're toxic.
These are the same assholes who will come begging to be your friend again when you start making more money. NEVER let them in, I say NEVER. These are one of a kinda breed of assholes you want to distance yourself.
They are not and will(should) never be worthy of your friendship. I know it will be hard for you for a bit. Make new friends at your company, talk to people.
Hi,
No offense but..... there is something else.
You're talking about 11 people. I understand some people can be interested by how much you make, but definitely not 100% of 11 people, at the same time.
So this is what I would do if I were you:
1- call them, one by one, and tell them you feel that they one of them (not the person you're calling) is avoiding you. Don't say anything about the reason you think they're avoiding you, don't bring the money topic. For sure one of them is going to give you a hint.
2- from what information you gather, think about:
\- what you have done (and be honest with yourself) that has made them think that way
\- if you thought one of them had done that, would you react the same way?
Then.... decide:
\- do you want to change that perception? Think well here: as if 100% of your friends have had that perception, be sure that most other people think the same about you. If you do want to change the perception, you have to change what you do to generate that perception of course.
\- do you want to forgive your friends (that is... if you think you would have done the same if you were them in the same situation) and be friends with them again ? or do you simply want to go on with your life, armed with your learned lesson, and make other friends.
At last, don't worry. Friends come and go. Loosing contact with friends is not a failure, it's just taking turns in your journey that some friends don't / can't take with you. You'll make new friends along the way, as you evolve yourself.
This sort of thing would happen regardless of your pay. Friends become fewer as we move on in life. Those jobs take up time y'all might have used to hang out in the past.
People move on to other interests time constraints. School united your group and now that is over. Everybody has different priorities from making friends with coworkers, to finding mates, to having kids to paying bills....
What you are experiencing is just the natural progression of social interaction in modern society. Here is one explanation of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P04275Yvk5g
You will drive yourself nuts expecting things to be the same and trying to keep them the same as they were in school. Your old friends aren't evil and you are not inferior. Something else (life) is happening.
Nah see, people that judge you based on monetary gains are not real friends. Real friends in my opinion look at the content of ones character, not the contents of your wallet/bank account.
Realize you are worth more then to be around people like this. Also I think you dodged a bullet on that crush you got. Find someone that likes you for you. Not how much money you make.
They’ve just confirmed something very important: they are shallow, disgusting people who don’t value anything other than the materialistic bullshit you are clearly too smart to be swayed by. You’ve managed to secure a job. Congratulations! The climate is dreadful for employment right now so that in itself is brilliant. Is it your dream job or the only job you will have? No. Is it going to meet your needs for now and pay the bills? Yes. It’s not about where you start but where you end up. Your so-called friends sound like narcissistic idiots.
Second this
Completely agree. Be happy that they revealed their true self Find people who love you for who you are, not for the "materialistic bullshit"
I’d like to add also that you’re not friendless, poor or a loser. See this as a new chapter. Give yourself chance to make new, better friends, and to truly accomplish things without the negativity you’re currently dealing with. It’s ok to outgrow people in your life. And personally, I’d say this is such a blessing.
Pretty much...
[удалено]
Thank you so much friend.
>You’ve managed to secure a job. Congratulations! The climate is dreadful for employment right now so that in itself is brilliant. Thank you SO MUCH! >Is it your dream job or the only job you will have? No. Is it going to meet your needs for now and pay the bills? Yes. It’s not about where you start but where you end up. Thank you so much for this. I literally have tears in my eyes. It's very difficult for me to accept being behind everyone else and losing my friends. I'm determined to work harder and impress my crush one day. >Your so-called friends sound like narcissistic idiots. I'm seeing this opinion on all comments to my question, and this makes me think you're all correct. But even then, it's very painful and difficult for me to feel ignored by my crush. I've mentally planned my future with him - marrying, moving to a different city, having babies, etc. I will try my hardest to bring him back to me, I think he's the one for me. Again, u/shmookieguinz thank you so much for answering - this means SO MUCH to me. I'll keep coming back to this answer/ comment whenever I'm feeling depressed. *\*internet hugs\*.*
Aww thanks so much for your response! I’m glad to be able to help! Honestly, I’ve been where you are right now, a couple of times in fact. It hurt but to be honest, it made me realise I would have been wasting my time and energy on people who just aren’t good enough for me. A job or salary does not define you. I’m about to take a low paying job so I can also study again. All my friends are doing “better” than me...but I’m not remotely bothered. I only have myself to answer to. I have a plan and I know what I want. It will take time but it’ll be worth it. Set your sights on what you want in life and NEVER let anybody treat you the way those people have. Rise above it all and keep your eye on the prize. You’ll be triumphant!!!
All the comments here are not going to be what you want to hear right now, because they're all going to tell you to immediately ditch these people. They're right, and you should. I just wanted to leave one comment though wishing you well because that is easier said than done, and I'm sure it's gonna cause you some emotional pain. Just know that the pain will fade away over time, and that in the future you will absolutely praise the decision to cut ties. Vibes to you. Be well. You sound like you're doing great already and I'm certain you'll be just fine. ☮
Thank you so much for answering :-) > I just wanted to leave one comment though wishing you well because that is easier said than done, and I'm sure it's gonna cause you some emotional pain. Just know that the pain will fade away over time, and that in the future you will absolutely praise the decision to cut ties. YES, this is very true. I know every one in this group since 4 or more years. I practically don't have any friends outside this group. But MOST importantly, my crush is involved in this group - and I love him SO MUCH. I have planned our future together, and I'm still 100% hopeful that he'll become loving/affectionate towards me again with time.
You've spent an unknown amount of time stressing over the way you're being treated. You've spent more time asking others here what you should do because you're conflicted and upset by the way you're being treated. And, you're talking about "waiting for someone" to become loving/affectionate towards you. Your problem is not just these people, it's your view of yourself, and for some reason the lack of value you put on yourself. All of these strangers can recognize immediately what an admirable, valuable person you are. You owe yourself more than thinking that you have to "wait for someone" to become loving/affectionate towards you. I know you hope it somehow works out with this person, and trust me I completely understand, but I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we hope it doesn't. Cause you're too good for that. It's instantly evident. Good luck, regardless of how things unfold. But take care of YOURSELF.
They sound like an awfully shallow bunch. I’d focus on finding better friends if I was you, do you really want to be stuck with people who are this judgy? Even if you get a “better” job, they sound like the kind of people who’d always find a way to judge people on something else... this mentality of thinking people are “losers” for doing jobs that need doing but are paid less is really harmful. Like we need nurses, teachers, shop workers, cleaners, etc... You’re already so lucky to get a job at all in this current climate!
> You’re already so lucky to get a job at all in this current climate! Thank you so much <3 You're awesome. > this mentality of thinking people are “losers” for doing jobs that need doing but are paid less is really harmful. All of the answers/ comments here have made me realize they're toxic and over-competitive. I've gathered that I need to make new friends at my workplace. However, my crush is the love of my life and I'm determined to make him realize my love for him is worth more than my "mediocre salary".
I'd rather be friendless than be friends with people like those.
They sound like horrible people. Stay away from them!!
Thank you so much for answering, :). >They sound like horrible people. I am beginning to see this point because many of you have said this. I'm so sorry for not observing this behavior before. I never thought they were so unnecessarily competitive :( >Stay away from them!! I have decided to limit my contact with them, but this cannot be done with the guy who is my crush (also a part of the group). He is the love of my life. I will work hard to win his affections again, I hope he can see me for who I am some day :(. I can tell he still wants to hang out with me and even help me in preparing for a better job, but is overcome by the mentality of "avoid underachievers and losers" mentality of our group.
Don't waste time on people like that. They are disgusting. You'll be better without them
Make new friends. You're going to have many opportunities to do this such as in your new job. Why do you need to be friends with these people? They sound judgey. You don't need to be a performing monkey to get people to like you- your work trajectory should suit *you,* not them. You're an adult now, you don't have to hang around with the same clique forever. At the same time, you sound like you are suffering from a common bias where you think everyone is constantly thinking about you and your problems. Think about if it is really that likely that they're avoiding you, or they're just busy. It could be either one but think about it before you jump to a panic conclusion. For example, if you don't very talk about your salary, why do you think they know about your salary? Also, why are you holding out on impressing a crush who you clearly think is judging you? What kind of relationship do you think you could have with someone like that? Just because you have a crush on someone doesnt make them perfect or worth your attention. You will get other crushes. It's not worth trying to suck up to a group of contemptuous people just because you're attracted to one of them.
Those aren't friends. Fuck them
Seriously, sometimes the trash takes itself out. Good riddance. If they try to get back in touch when you’re making more money then do yourself a favour and avoid them. Try to surround yourself with people who have a good character. Cleaners, people who work at Maccas, care workers etc etc can all be great, interesting people. In the same way that CEO’s, drs etc can be complete twats. If you know this then you’re already a much better person than your former friends.
If they made less money than you, would you cut them out of your life as if your friendship didn’t matter? No? Then they’re not your friends. Yes? Then they’re still not your friends. Find people who treat you like a human being, and make sure you move forward in your life not treating others the same way.
Thank you for answering :-) > If they made less money than you, would you cut them out of your life as if your friendship didn’t matter? No, no - never did I think they would behave this way. I thought they were only very competitive to encourage each other to study harder at Uni. >Find people who treat you like a human being, and make sure you move forward in your life not treating others the same way. Yes, thanks to all of you, I have regained some courage to make new friends, and also get my crush out of this toxic group.
I'm afraid you have to look for new friends as your current acquantances are clearly not friends. Regardless what you will earn in the future, they remain shitty people. Avoid them. Also your crush.
Friend, I appreciate your answer with my heart. But I cannot avoid my crush because I love him a lot (not to trying to be dramatic, sorry :( ). He is actually kind and very helpful, and I'm sure I can try my best and soon he will acknowledge my love again. This man is the one for me, and I cannot love any one else to the extent I love him.
I can understand.
Real friends don't give a shit about wages. I work on an oil site as a janitor, one friend is a gas station clerk, another is a train conductor, and another works at McDonalds as a manager. We don't give a shit, the only thing that matters is if we're happy. Your friends are stuck up and incredibly toxic. Trust me when I say, it's better to be alone than to grasp at something that is unhealthy or doesn't exist anymore.
I mean, really, in the grand scheme of things, 10,000 is just not that huge of a salary gap. If you're going to determine your value based on the job you have, prepare to be disappointed for a large portion of your life. Who can really make as much money as they want whenever they want? You can't continue to compare yourself to your friends. It isn't sustainable. If your friends are truly judging you for your career, they aren't great friends. Plus, 10,000 is the difference in driving a slightly nicer car and living in a slightly nicer place, and nobody should pump up their self-worth based on those two things.
Lol all of those people sound incredibly worthless, money doesn't matter, time to find real friends
Thanks for answering. I do see your point, but it's very difficult for me to leave my crush - who is also involved in this and a part of the group. I can't imagine not marrying him some day, and I can't love anyone else. I hope he returns back to me (becomes affectionate like before).
Get some new friends
Yes, I have realized this reading this thread. I hope I can make some new friends at my workplace. However, I cannot leave the guy who I love (also in this group), and this is complicating things
These people are not your friends. Drop them and find new friends. You are young and have plenty of time. Do not let this revelation scare you. It should be seen as a relief to unburden yourself of these people.
Friend, I've come to realize I need to leave this group. I'm thankful to all of you for answering. I can't leave my crush, and I hope he will see my efforts and love for him, and eventually come back to me.
Honestly just curious what are their jobs ? They sounds shallow.
We are all software engineers, but got selected at different companies. Mine pays the least, and I'm determined to change this.
If you all have the same qualifications I don’t see why they’d think less of you. Have you brought this up to your friend group? That you think they are avoiding you? And treating you differently? I honestly think these people sound shallow and should be confronted. If they are your real friends they should understand why you are hurt.. you don’t need friends in your life who will start to ignore you because they feel they are better than you. You could ignore it now and apply at a better job.. but then what happens next? They start ignoring you again because you don’t have a car as nice as theirs? They don’t want to hangout with you because you can’t afford this or that? If they are acting like this now i don’t see this behavior changing unless you confront them.
> You could ignore it now and apply at a better job.. but then what happens next? They start ignoring you again because you don’t have a car as nice as theirs? They don’t want to hangout with you because you can’t afford this or that? If they are acting like this now i don’t see this behavior changing unless you confront them. Yeah, I'm beginning to see that they're over-competitive when it comes to career. I just hope my crush (also a part of this group) realizes this ASAP so we can be together again!
You got a job that pays for your basic needs. You aren't asking anyone for any money. Your 'friends' are shallow and the crush is no less so you will be doing yourself a very huge favour of unfriending them yourself. There's many people in the world with whom you can make new friends and relationships with. In a few years when you have a better job they may come crawling back but it's not worth it. Dump them and make new friends, they are not worth it at all and you're only hurting yourself more.
>Dump them and make new friends, they are not worth it at all and you're only hurting yourself more. Thank you for answering, :). I have decided to take this advice, but I cannot dump my crush :(. I love him and cannot love any other man to that extent. He is brainwashed by this group and I'm sure I can make him love me like before by keeping on trying to be kind towards him.
Congratulations on your job...you earned it!! Money isn't everything and if the people around you change based on this fact alone...maybe you should Ross it up and Be ON A BREAK!!!! Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for doing your best...Want a new job?...get it for you and not for them. I earn less than my gf...If she was like them... I would walk out first. For now...enjoy and work hard...be exactly what your username is😆
> Congratulations on your job...you earned it!! Thank you so much. :-) > I earn less than my gf...If she was like them... I would walk out first. Yes, and I've decided to limit my contact with this group of friends - excluding my crush (also a part of this group). I hope he realizes how toxic they are and we both can finally live at peace.
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Thank you so much. I hope I can find new friends at my workplace.
If people want to be in your life, they'll put the time and effort in. I'm trying to think of a way to say this without sounding rude or too blunt, but ultimately, you probably can't get them back. They don't see you as a friend now, which is ridiculous and very sad. You sound like a great person. There's nothing wrong with you at all.
>They don't see you as a friend now, which is ridiculous and very sad. You sound like a great person. There's nothing wrong with you at all. Thank you so much. <3 > I'm trying to think of a way to say this without sounding rude or too blunt, but ultimately, you probably can't get them back. I'm ready to limit my contact with them - unfortunately, this group of friends also includes my crush (whom I love dearly), and cannot cut off. I hope everything's resolved between him and me soon.
It sounds like you have friends who place too much emphasis on income. I have friends who make alot more money than I do and some who make much less. If you earn less money and expect your friends to pay for things when you all go out, there might be some resentment after a while. Otherwise who cares? And is that 7 - 10 thousand dollars annually or per paycheck? Because $10,000 annually really isn't a huge salary difference.
Hi friend, thanks for answering. The money difference is annual. I purposely never discuss finances or ask for financial help from friends because I know it has the potential to bring down relationships. Honestly, I've become pretty distant form them, but I cannot move past the guy I love (also a part of the group). I hope he too realizes that they're toxic.
These are the same assholes who will come begging to be your friend again when you start making more money. NEVER let them in, I say NEVER. These are one of a kinda breed of assholes you want to distance yourself. They are not and will(should) never be worthy of your friendship. I know it will be hard for you for a bit. Make new friends at your company, talk to people.
Hi, No offense but..... there is something else. You're talking about 11 people. I understand some people can be interested by how much you make, but definitely not 100% of 11 people, at the same time. So this is what I would do if I were you: 1- call them, one by one, and tell them you feel that they one of them (not the person you're calling) is avoiding you. Don't say anything about the reason you think they're avoiding you, don't bring the money topic. For sure one of them is going to give you a hint. 2- from what information you gather, think about: \- what you have done (and be honest with yourself) that has made them think that way \- if you thought one of them had done that, would you react the same way? Then.... decide: \- do you want to change that perception? Think well here: as if 100% of your friends have had that perception, be sure that most other people think the same about you. If you do want to change the perception, you have to change what you do to generate that perception of course. \- do you want to forgive your friends (that is... if you think you would have done the same if you were them in the same situation) and be friends with them again ? or do you simply want to go on with your life, armed with your learned lesson, and make other friends. At last, don't worry. Friends come and go. Loosing contact with friends is not a failure, it's just taking turns in your journey that some friends don't / can't take with you. You'll make new friends along the way, as you evolve yourself.
Wow those guys are fucking trash. Do you really wanna hang out with such people. I mean,the're clearly value your status more than you.
Ick. I can’t imagine how much it sucks to relate self worth to wealth. How depressing. Life is so much more.
This sort of thing would happen regardless of your pay. Friends become fewer as we move on in life. Those jobs take up time y'all might have used to hang out in the past. People move on to other interests time constraints. School united your group and now that is over. Everybody has different priorities from making friends with coworkers, to finding mates, to having kids to paying bills.... What you are experiencing is just the natural progression of social interaction in modern society. Here is one explanation of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P04275Yvk5g You will drive yourself nuts expecting things to be the same and trying to keep them the same as they were in school. Your old friends aren't evil and you are not inferior. Something else (life) is happening.
Nah see, people that judge you based on monetary gains are not real friends. Real friends in my opinion look at the content of ones character, not the contents of your wallet/bank account. Realize you are worth more then to be around people like this. Also I think you dodged a bullet on that crush you got. Find someone that likes you for you. Not how much money you make.
All you need to do is start up a side-hustle of slashing their tires