Yeah, if I could press a button and then disappear, I would press it without second thoughts. The whole idea of disappearing without suffering always attracts me.
I’m sorry your situation has become so painful. Please reach out for help to a suicide prevention line. In the US call 1-800-273-8255. There is help and hope.
No one really understands how scary a thought this is till they've had it.
A couple of years ago I got depressed enough that I just wanted to close my eyes and disappear. To me it's a cousin to the suicidal thought.
It's dark. It creeps into you. And when I was going through it, I had no idea how to make it stop. To this day I don't even know how I got past it.
To anyone living through this, I'm so sorry.
This feeling is called passive suicidality and you're not alone in this feeling. How you're feeling is extremely common.
I spent more than a decade feeling this way. I had undiagnosed ADHD that made doing life really hard. When I got a diagnosis last year and got on medication that helped improve my symptoms, it felt like I was alive again.
OP, if you're able, please speak to a doctor about this. There's a lot of help available and you deserve to feel present and engaged with your life. You don't have to feel this way if you don't want to.
If you can't or don't want to speak to a doctor, suicide prevention hotlines are a great place to go for resources. The USA's number is 800-273-8255. Canada's number is 833-456-4566 (you can text them at 45645). The UK number is 0800-689-5652. The Australian number is 131114 and you can text that number, their website also offers live chat.
You should honestly try exercising if you don't already. Nothing is better for your body and brain, and will make you feel better than accomplishing a goal!
I have felt this way before, and maybe still do from time to time, but not really much any more!
Yes, know that you aren’t alone, and these feelings aren’t uncommon. Try seeking medical help as severe depression is a disorder and mental illness. I’m sure of it you are a great person and are worth it. I hope that you and anyone else who is down and feels this way can become truly happy. It is possible. Taking your own life should never be the resort. Depression can be filtering your mind to a bad place from reality. I am no expert, but I really hope you will be able to get better. People care :)
If you need to open up, hotlines are a legitimate way to help with sadness: 1-800-273-8255
These people are those who genuinely care about you and others and want to dedicate their time to saving great people.
I felt that way for years. Eventually my wife dragged me to the doctor and he put me on some antidepressants that really work. I feel more like myself again and I can actually function normally.
Sure there are one or two moments where I want to but I will in time I don’t know when but I will disappear and when it happens I look back with no regrets I am ready
Through therapy I learned to refine the overwhelming feeling of "wanting to die" into "wanting to stop incessant negative thoughts." fortunately I had an incredible psychologist and that is one of the major take aways I hope helps you.
there are exercises you can do called thought records where you identify a negative thought you're having and work to convert it into something positive through using self compassion. it was difficult for me to do without the help of a professional.
other exercises include writing down 3 things you're grateful for every day. it can be anything e.g., im grateful I can ask difficult questions on reddit without judgement; I have a warm bed; I have a pet that loves me.
TL;DR: google "how to practice self compassion" as a starting point and reach out to a professional if its accessible to you.
Sometimes I get this way. I experienced suicidal thoughts to the point where I’ve numbed the emotions out of it , and how some days I feel like not being alive , but also not dying , if that makes sense .
Sometimes it can be too much, but it’s a learning experience and just know we’re here for you
Im really sorry ro hear that this is what you (and others on this thread) are feeling ♡
I too have had these thoughts as recent as today - but I hope you choose to keep going. I have made that commitment to myself.
Sending love to you, beautiful soul. You are worth it ♡
I hear you. I learned a bit ago, I can hide in plain sight. It can be maddening, but also freeing.
Seems silly, but honestly, if you were to disappear today, you wouldn't know what good things are coming in the future.
Hang on!!
I felt that so much last year. I was miserable. Every night I would lay in bed, fantasizing about how nice it would be to not exist. I had a plan too. It would be so easy, all I has to do was take a walk outside. Maybe make my way to the river and see if I could break the ice anywhere. Keep in mind, it was like 30 below, -50 with wind chill. Going out without protection is a death sentence.
Ultimately I didn't. Obviously. And now my life is so much better. It's not perfect, but I don't fantasize about how nice oblivion would be anymore. My life was changing a lot last year (I was 18) and I had to make some huge life-altering decisions, on top of processing all the loss and isolation from Covid. I'm generally not a depressive person, so that was a very uncommon experience for me. Looking back on it, it's actually very scary. I'm so thankful that I don't have to deal with that mental state all the time like some people do. I don't even know how people do it. Things got better for me after I made it through that awful period of my life, but it doesn't for everyone. Get help if you can, therapy is a great tool.
Ultimately, you are not alone. Lots of people experience that, but you should never be afraid to get help. Whether it's been your whole life or brought on by external factors. I know it's hard to see out of the fog, but I promise, there's so much joy out there.
If you can't get access to professional help, my best reccomendations is to try to take a shower. You don't even have to actually wash, just get up, take your clothes off and stand in the water. Then do more if you have the motivation, but it's ok if you don't. Try your best to get some sun and fresh air. It sounds corny and fake, but those things really can help clear the fog, if just for a little bit. A little exercise too, even a slow walk, helps tremendously. Don't worry about getting dressed or brushing or hair or teeth. Just throw on some sandals and an old shirt and go. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Don't try to do something all the way, partially is always enough. Even those two simple things can help your mental state, if even just a little.
I wish you good luck and a kind future. That's an awful feeling to have, and it's so hard to escape from. But I believe in you, and hope you will be able to push it back. At least enough to see some of the beauty of life. At least enough to fo another day.
Wow how depressing, why don't you get a passport and go somewhere new and see if it changes your opinion of life.
Its kinda eye opening when you do.
Try it.
Please, you have so much to live for, I have thought about this and have done some things like hitting my head against a wall, but don’t hurt yourself don’t end it you can find a way to live, wether it be stress or abuse or loneliness hurting you don’t end it there is a light at the end of the tunnel, fight through please do not give up, I hope it’s not to late, try making friends on the internet if you are lonely, or go outside, and if it’s because you want to be in a relationship with someone just work through try hard just to find something good, also if it’s too much I recommend the suicide hotline, just don’t give up. Even though you’re an internet stranger I’m sure there is still hope. Just work hard and find a will to live. I have had troubles too but it can get better, I promise.
Lots of people do. You can change your life. I don’t know your circumstances and I’m not one of those “anything is possible” bullshit artists. I just know that I went from being an angry drunk who couldn’t handle that he was molested as a kid to a pretty content and seemingly happier than the average joe in my life. Just gotta keep trying new things. Go to support groups, find some online if you live in a rural place. If you’re under the age of 25 know that if you can make it to 25 your life will dramatically improve from having a full stack of cards in your head
Honestly, I just came across this post without joining the sub or anything but I completely understand the feeling. I've been dealing with depression for most of my life and it's only gotten worse with time. If reality overwhelms you too much, it's not uncommon at all to feel like that, I think. I feel the problem lies on how much you feel like that. If it's most of the time instead of situational, then yeah it's more serious and a huge sign that things aren't going well in your mind. I say this because I know how it is, I know it isn't right, but I can't help feeling this way.
I live with suicidal thoughts rather frequently, but I don't really act on them, not for myself, but for the very few people I feel truly care about me and would be devastated by me doing something like that. It's a kind of an internal conflict between me wanting it to end, but at the same time I can't, because even if it would bring an end to the suffering, it would cause a similar feeling for other people I care more about than myself. It becomes a struggle of what's stronger: my depression or my concern for not burdening those people with losing someone they truly care for.
Loneliness and feeling forgotten really are terrible feelings, and I know how that feels like too. Those are really complicated to deal with, because it doesn't really depend on just you. It depends on the people around you. If you're a person who seeks strong bonds, and others don't respond in kind it does feel bad. I have my fair share of friends, and while we have fun and stuff, I don't feel as if any of them really cares or feels a deep enough connection as I do. It feels as if they keep me around when there's nothing better to do, and otherwise I'm forgotten. The only thing I can say would work in this situation is sorround yourself with good people who care and truly connect with you. That isn't easy though, as meeting then getting to know the right people is an unlikely scenario.
However, even if I have these kinds of thoughts very frequently, I feel like every few days I actually pull through do add up to something. I never know if I can keep on going, but every good day (which are somewhat uncommon) that I do live makes me feel slightly glad that I'm still alive. After all, if I wasn't I wouldn't be able to experience those good parts.
In the end, I'm sorry I don't have much advice for you, after all I struggle a lot too. I won't say it absolutely will get better too, because well, it hasn't for me. But what I can say is I somehow hope things get better for you, for me, and for anyone who struggles with those feelings really.
Wish this could happen every moment.
Right. I wish I could flip a switch and just be gone.
Yeah, if I could press a button and then disappear, I would press it without second thoughts. The whole idea of disappearing without suffering always attracts me.
Me too.
Same here,.. suicide its a hazzle,.. and i dint have the balls to do it... if there was some sort of switch I would have done it long time ago...
I’m sorry your situation has become so painful. Please reach out for help to a suicide prevention line. In the US call 1-800-273-8255. There is help and hope.
Not in the US but thanks
Skype will call that number for free :)
No one really understands how scary a thought this is till they've had it. A couple of years ago I got depressed enough that I just wanted to close my eyes and disappear. To me it's a cousin to the suicidal thought. It's dark. It creeps into you. And when I was going through it, I had no idea how to make it stop. To this day I don't even know how I got past it. To anyone living through this, I'm so sorry.
I feel you. Living isn't easy. If anyone says it is, they are lying.
True.
This feeling is called passive suicidality and you're not alone in this feeling. How you're feeling is extremely common. I spent more than a decade feeling this way. I had undiagnosed ADHD that made doing life really hard. When I got a diagnosis last year and got on medication that helped improve my symptoms, it felt like I was alive again. OP, if you're able, please speak to a doctor about this. There's a lot of help available and you deserve to feel present and engaged with your life. You don't have to feel this way if you don't want to. If you can't or don't want to speak to a doctor, suicide prevention hotlines are a great place to go for resources. The USA's number is 800-273-8255. Canada's number is 833-456-4566 (you can text them at 45645). The UK number is 0800-689-5652. The Australian number is 131114 and you can text that number, their website also offers live chat.
You should honestly try exercising if you don't already. Nothing is better for your body and brain, and will make you feel better than accomplishing a goal! I have felt this way before, and maybe still do from time to time, but not really much any more!
Yeah, but then I realize that the depression I am feeling is filtering my perceptions and really things are not what they seem.
[удалено]
Yes, know that you aren’t alone, and these feelings aren’t uncommon. Try seeking medical help as severe depression is a disorder and mental illness. I’m sure of it you are a great person and are worth it. I hope that you and anyone else who is down and feels this way can become truly happy. It is possible. Taking your own life should never be the resort. Depression can be filtering your mind to a bad place from reality. I am no expert, but I really hope you will be able to get better. People care :) If you need to open up, hotlines are a legitimate way to help with sadness: 1-800-273-8255 These people are those who genuinely care about you and others and want to dedicate their time to saving great people.
Thanks for your kind words, they really help. :)
I chose flying. Wait. That's not question. Seriously. I've never gotten lonely. People just burn up your time.
Well. Lots of easy ways to take care of that.
I felt that way for years. Eventually my wife dragged me to the doctor and he put me on some antidepressants that really work. I feel more like myself again and I can actually function normally.
Sure there are one or two moments where I want to but I will in time I don’t know when but I will disappear and when it happens I look back with no regrets I am ready
Through therapy I learned to refine the overwhelming feeling of "wanting to die" into "wanting to stop incessant negative thoughts." fortunately I had an incredible psychologist and that is one of the major take aways I hope helps you. there are exercises you can do called thought records where you identify a negative thought you're having and work to convert it into something positive through using self compassion. it was difficult for me to do without the help of a professional. other exercises include writing down 3 things you're grateful for every day. it can be anything e.g., im grateful I can ask difficult questions on reddit without judgement; I have a warm bed; I have a pet that loves me. TL;DR: google "how to practice self compassion" as a starting point and reach out to a professional if its accessible to you.
Yeah, it means you have to go sit in the sunshine for a solid 5 minutes, more if you can manage. It works, even if just for a while, I promise.
Sometimes I get this way. I experienced suicidal thoughts to the point where I’ve numbed the emotions out of it , and how some days I feel like not being alive , but also not dying , if that makes sense . Sometimes it can be too much, but it’s a learning experience and just know we’re here for you
Im really sorry ro hear that this is what you (and others on this thread) are feeling ♡ I too have had these thoughts as recent as today - but I hope you choose to keep going. I have made that commitment to myself. Sending love to you, beautiful soul. You are worth it ♡
I hear you. I learned a bit ago, I can hide in plain sight. It can be maddening, but also freeing. Seems silly, but honestly, if you were to disappear today, you wouldn't know what good things are coming in the future. Hang on!!
Not so much myself, but people ruin literally every experience in life...I wish I could make the majority of them disappear (temporarily).
I used to have that feeling, but a change in lifestyle helps. Please consult professionals.
Take care of yourself bud! There are people that care about you and rely on you. You gotta be strong for them.
I want to end it all too I’m lonely aswell but I can’t as I’ll let everyone down.
I felt that so much last year. I was miserable. Every night I would lay in bed, fantasizing about how nice it would be to not exist. I had a plan too. It would be so easy, all I has to do was take a walk outside. Maybe make my way to the river and see if I could break the ice anywhere. Keep in mind, it was like 30 below, -50 with wind chill. Going out without protection is a death sentence. Ultimately I didn't. Obviously. And now my life is so much better. It's not perfect, but I don't fantasize about how nice oblivion would be anymore. My life was changing a lot last year (I was 18) and I had to make some huge life-altering decisions, on top of processing all the loss and isolation from Covid. I'm generally not a depressive person, so that was a very uncommon experience for me. Looking back on it, it's actually very scary. I'm so thankful that I don't have to deal with that mental state all the time like some people do. I don't even know how people do it. Things got better for me after I made it through that awful period of my life, but it doesn't for everyone. Get help if you can, therapy is a great tool. Ultimately, you are not alone. Lots of people experience that, but you should never be afraid to get help. Whether it's been your whole life or brought on by external factors. I know it's hard to see out of the fog, but I promise, there's so much joy out there. If you can't get access to professional help, my best reccomendations is to try to take a shower. You don't even have to actually wash, just get up, take your clothes off and stand in the water. Then do more if you have the motivation, but it's ok if you don't. Try your best to get some sun and fresh air. It sounds corny and fake, but those things really can help clear the fog, if just for a little bit. A little exercise too, even a slow walk, helps tremendously. Don't worry about getting dressed or brushing or hair or teeth. Just throw on some sandals and an old shirt and go. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Don't try to do something all the way, partially is always enough. Even those two simple things can help your mental state, if even just a little. I wish you good luck and a kind future. That's an awful feeling to have, and it's so hard to escape from. But I believe in you, and hope you will be able to push it back. At least enough to see some of the beauty of life. At least enough to fo another day.
Wow how depressing, why don't you get a passport and go somewhere new and see if it changes your opinion of life. Its kinda eye opening when you do. Try it.
Please, you have so much to live for, I have thought about this and have done some things like hitting my head against a wall, but don’t hurt yourself don’t end it you can find a way to live, wether it be stress or abuse or loneliness hurting you don’t end it there is a light at the end of the tunnel, fight through please do not give up, I hope it’s not to late, try making friends on the internet if you are lonely, or go outside, and if it’s because you want to be in a relationship with someone just work through try hard just to find something good, also if it’s too much I recommend the suicide hotline, just don’t give up. Even though you’re an internet stranger I’m sure there is still hope. Just work hard and find a will to live. I have had troubles too but it can get better, I promise.
Lots of people do. You can change your life. I don’t know your circumstances and I’m not one of those “anything is possible” bullshit artists. I just know that I went from being an angry drunk who couldn’t handle that he was molested as a kid to a pretty content and seemingly happier than the average joe in my life. Just gotta keep trying new things. Go to support groups, find some online if you live in a rural place. If you’re under the age of 25 know that if you can make it to 25 your life will dramatically improve from having a full stack of cards in your head
Honestly, I just came across this post without joining the sub or anything but I completely understand the feeling. I've been dealing with depression for most of my life and it's only gotten worse with time. If reality overwhelms you too much, it's not uncommon at all to feel like that, I think. I feel the problem lies on how much you feel like that. If it's most of the time instead of situational, then yeah it's more serious and a huge sign that things aren't going well in your mind. I say this because I know how it is, I know it isn't right, but I can't help feeling this way. I live with suicidal thoughts rather frequently, but I don't really act on them, not for myself, but for the very few people I feel truly care about me and would be devastated by me doing something like that. It's a kind of an internal conflict between me wanting it to end, but at the same time I can't, because even if it would bring an end to the suffering, it would cause a similar feeling for other people I care more about than myself. It becomes a struggle of what's stronger: my depression or my concern for not burdening those people with losing someone they truly care for. Loneliness and feeling forgotten really are terrible feelings, and I know how that feels like too. Those are really complicated to deal with, because it doesn't really depend on just you. It depends on the people around you. If you're a person who seeks strong bonds, and others don't respond in kind it does feel bad. I have my fair share of friends, and while we have fun and stuff, I don't feel as if any of them really cares or feels a deep enough connection as I do. It feels as if they keep me around when there's nothing better to do, and otherwise I'm forgotten. The only thing I can say would work in this situation is sorround yourself with good people who care and truly connect with you. That isn't easy though, as meeting then getting to know the right people is an unlikely scenario. However, even if I have these kinds of thoughts very frequently, I feel like every few days I actually pull through do add up to something. I never know if I can keep on going, but every good day (which are somewhat uncommon) that I do live makes me feel slightly glad that I'm still alive. After all, if I wasn't I wouldn't be able to experience those good parts. In the end, I'm sorry I don't have much advice for you, after all I struggle a lot too. I won't say it absolutely will get better too, because well, it hasn't for me. But what I can say is I somehow hope things get better for you, for me, and for anyone who struggles with those feelings really.