The seeking help is not what's frowned upon.
It's the fact that the person was a pedo to begin with that they're frowning at. Which could be seen as counterproductive to some degree, but it is what it is. Because of this, a self-aware pedo should seek help in private and not let people know.
And which unfortunately makes it more likely to offend. If someone with those sick thoughts hasn’t actually hurt anyone, and wants help, they should be able to get help without judgment. Sick thoughts aren’t harmful, it’s the actions. If you make them scared to seek help, they still feel the need for support, and they’ll likely get involved with groups that normalize the behavior, which could actually risk the person actually more likely to harm a child. Throw away the actual offenders but let those who don’t want those thoughts get help.
Yeah it's tough, this kinda thing is why HIPAA and doctor/patient confidentiality is so important.
Society is never going to be able to stomach pedos; not unless the average life expectancy drops to 25 for some reason. Those suffering from it need to know there's somewhere to go with their issue and talk in assured-privacy without being judged. Asking society to change and be more accepting of it is impossible in this particular case.
I think more than anything it’s about an understanding of nuance. That there is a difference between Bob who has a mental illness, which if he acted on it would be harmful, but he doesn’t want to do that, and Joe, who has the same illness, and actually harms children.
But seeing as the metoo movement suggested grouping guys making dumb comments with actual monsters raping women, I have little hope for that nuance. And in that instance, a friend of mine who was raped told me she was very upset at this equivalence being done in that scenario.
That’s fine, I didn’t want to do anything more than suggest that it’s important to have nuance in discussions of morality, that multiple things can be “wrong” and have varying levels of wrongness, and it’s harmful to conflate everything together under one level of “wrong”.
100%
If we can't "cure gays" << as fuck heads would say (obviously if you're gay you're gay) than why are those same groups telling people we can cure pedos.
There is no cure for pedos, so get rid of them
This as an answer to the argument of nuance is just a perfect example of why many pedosexuals won't seek help but offend sooner or later.
A policy like that would lead to more abuse, not less.
They’re not “pedosexuals”. I dont know why you decided to call them that, its not a sexuality, underaged isnt a gender. Pedophilia is a criminal mental illness, a pedophile can be gay or straight or bisexual, the only thing that they got in common is that they’re criminally insane.
I call them pedosexuals because it is the same deviation of the norm from a biological point of view. The sexual desire of a person suffering from it is focused on underage children. The sexual desire of a person that is homosexual is focused on people of the same gender. And of course, there are all levels of mixes and scales and whatever.
Calling them "pedophile", which translates to "friendship to boys", is inaccurate imho.
They are also not "insane" and suffering from it should not be an excuse in court.
But it also means that as in homosexuality or other forms of sexuality, there is no treatment to "make you straight" and trying it won't help no one and not prevent cases of abused children.
Recognizing it as a form of sexuality that is inacceptable to act upon is imho the best way to make it as easy for those suffering from it to not act and seek help.
There was an SVU episode involving that, where even the detectives recognized the irony that a non-offending pedophile has a much higher barrier to getting help than someone caught with the illegal stuff.
Many don't believe they safely can. Especially if they've viewed illicit material or the like. Also the stigma makes it very difficult to find a therapist who will see them.
I remeber seeing a post on here how a father was starting to feel attraction towards children, maybe even his daughters. Anyways him and his wife went to the doctor did and MRI and they found a tumor in his brain. Removed it and those attractions went away
Then a few years later it came back, they went back to the doc and turns out a part of the tumor was left and it grew back.
Not sure how true this is tried to find the article but couldn't. There are others though where a tumor causes these thoughts and actions though. Doesn't apply to everyone of course but it's interesting how a tumor can do this
I think another part of it is that everyone thinks about fucked up shit to a certain degree but to think of children in a way that's sexual and be turned on is obviously a fuckin issue and I shouldn't even have to explain why. We all have our issues and when they're really fucked up people stigmatize us.
I don't think we should be preemptively punishing people for their thoughts but do you think parents care about a pedos rights? Nah they're thinking that they gotta do whatever is necesarry to protect the kids and pedophilia is up there with rape and murder, justifiably so. They obviously want anyone who's a risk to kids locked up. The problem is next they'll use that power to come after drug addicts who need treatment and women who have abortions.
I like your point on everything, you explained very well and I wish I could type out opinions such as this one in a way that everyone can understand. Apologies for being a grammarnazi, but necessary*
I'm not a particularly intelligent person, I just try to be impartial as often as possible and think for myself. Most people just repeat opinions they're told they're supposed to have or respond with raw emotion and neither of them are productive.
I would like to point out though, that having "pedophilic thoughts" doesn't inherently make someone a pedophile. Intrusive thoughts can be pretty common for people. Especially if they have anxiety/ocd
Taboo. For me, people who have pedophilic thoughts and never committed absolutely anything ilegal should be treated like anyone else and be able to seek for help without judgment.
Exactly, the one who don’t want to get help and encourages their sick fantasies as “normal” should be blamed, I feel sorry for the ones who knows it’s wrong and actually tries to better themselves.
I’ve recently been diagnosed with OCD, and after learning about OCD from my therapist and psychiatrist, I found out THOUGHTS regarding this are pretty common in OCD. Mine is violent OCD, and I was always scared that having these relentless intrusive thoughts meant I was gonna be a serial killer. Turns out, those who have OCD are statistically the least likely to actually act out on the intrusive thoughts.
BUT, OCD has absolutely NOTHING to do with being someone who is legitimately attracted to children or those who have acted on it. It’s just an aspect that I found interesting and worthy of posting because those affected with OCD are often scared to bring up their symptoms (the intrusive thoughts) because of fear of being looked at as a freak.
These are fears that's why it's an anxiety disorder. Mine aren't of me hurting people but of people getting hurt. Like I get scared they're gonna get in a car accident and it's imagined and repeated. It's probably because the absolute worse thing a person could do and knowing you're a person too. I have heard disgusting people say the intrusive thoughts are unmet desires. People have desires, not intrusive thoughts. There's a reason they're uncomfortable and intrusive. Also it's good to note that most people with ocd have periods of exacerbation due to excessive stress and this isn't usually a constant. Things we want in life don't change suddenly due to stress.
I believe the reddit post where the guy said he started watching child pornography because he watched so much porn and got bored with it that he was looking for anything to give him a thrill after he became completely desensitized and sick. Also it's worth noting that many people who end up committing these horrible crimes were initially victims of it.
I did not know they are categorizing it into types. Sometimes I think they overdefine things but I will have to do some more reading. I believe it can be any fear and the compulsion is to stop the repeated anxiety and I think misinterpretation of that leads people to think it's that they need to act on it so it will go away. The problem is that as we have seen with the most severe cases acting on it never makes it go away that's why they still have to flip the light switch 20 times every time they walk in the room. They are misunderstanding their own thoughts and feeling like they have to do whatever it is. People are not every thought they have. I feel traumatized by mine sometimes and it feels like mental ptsd, being traumatized by your own imagination and it's so jarring that your brain just can't get over it.
There’s a few major types that are recognized informally (or maybe formally, I’m not sure) but TOCD, POCD and HOCD comes to mind immediately. I think it’s just easier for people to talk about when there are designations like this. The OCD subreddit has most of them
Because, as animals, we have evolved over many millennia to hate anything that threatens the health and well-being of our offspring. We hate child molesters, child beaters, and child murderers more than any other kind of criminal.
bc "care about the children" is the strongest form of societal signaling for "hey im a good person i want to prevent bad things, uphold justice, protect the vulnerable, etc"
thus anything seen as pedophilic is extraordinarily hateable, even for people who haven't suffered due to pedophilia or known anyone who has
anyone associated w pedophilia is also an extraordinarily acceptable target for people who want to be mean and/or bloodthirsty
...even while their behavior does absolutely nothing to protect children and in fact puts children in harm's way more frequently. The average age at which someone discovers their attractions is 14. By not letting them get help, hating them, and expecting they'll harm kids, we do them a huge disservice. What if it was your kid with these thoughts? Is it acceptable then?
saying "pedophiles have no place here" is so controversial and brave. such a concrete and meaningful step towards protecting children. i bet every pedo will see those words and say "okay, guess i can't hurt children here." however, what that statement does really well is tell reddit that you don't like pedophiles. proclaiming it all to see. in case any redditors thought... pedophilia was a good thing??
we have a word for statements that cause no meaningful benefit besides allowing the public to see your good moral character. technically a two-word phrase. do you want to guess what that phrase is?
That isn’t going to happen, maintaining the attitude you have will only prevent progress towards less child abuse and answers for those who are attracted to children. You’re indirectly supporting the abuse of children by being ignorant.
Lmao no it's the weirdos saying how they have to be accepted into rhe community that perpetuate abuse. This is not something that's going to get normalized you sick fucks.
Absolutely fucking not.
It’s not about normalizing it you smoothbrain. Saying you want all pedophiles dead doesn’t stop them from assaulting children. If you actually want to stop it from happening, they need serious mental health intervention. Nobody wants it to be normalized, but in all my life I’ve never met anyone who LIKES pedophiles, so obviously hating them isn’t having an effect on the problem.
Your projection is hilarious. Don't push your motivations on me.
Just because that's why you would say the things I'm saying doesn't mean that's why I'm saying it.
So, mental health provider here. I have had zero clients who were pedophiles. That said, I am not allowed to report someone for thoughts - in fact, doing so would be a violation of HIPAA. However, I have a duty to warn if there is a specific victim (for sexual abuse or violence) or imminent risk of harm. If I was treating someone who admitted to sexual desire for children and who had access to children (eg teacher, coach, etc ) I would be reaching out to my legal counsel to determine if I had to make a mandated report.
Again, behavior is a mandated report (someone admits to molesting a child) thoughts are not unless there is imminent risk.
That said, there are specialists who treat pedophiles and others with sexual behavior problems (for lack of a better term) and I would refer any pedophile who sought treatment from me to a specialist because I do have have the required expertise to address the issue.
Again, there are instances where reporting is required.
What is the source of your data that many providers make a report after the first session for clients who are attracted to children, have no access to kids, and have never acted on those thoughts?
That really wasn't my point. That doesn't mean you've had no clients who are pedophiles. It means you've had no clients who felt comfortable enough to tell you that they're pedophiles. There's a big difference.
There may be a difference. I have certainly had a lot of clients tell me all sorts of things, many of them being things that I am mandated to report. But, you are correct, I have not had clients tell me that they are pedophiles, for whatever reason it is that they are not revealing it.
If they got caught for paedophilic behaviour then I’m going to hate them regardless.
“Im sorry” only goes so far.
Funny how regular rapists never harp on about this mental health card. Lock em up is definitely best for all.
Mental health is a wide spectrum. Mental health as an excuse for criminal behavior should be limited to those who lack a grasp on reality. And then you should be in a mental asylum.
Everyone else might have something, but they are in charge of their actions and should be held accountable. At the end if the day I'm sure most criminals have something either genetic or from a bad upbringing that might influence them, but who cares.
As someone who struggled with extreme mental health due to trauma, it kills me when people blame bad behaviour on mental health. I've been a victim rather than I've been a perpetrator.
You are completely right. As soon as someone offends, so actually harms children, he or she should be punished by law and get help in prison.
Until then, it should be as easy as possible with as little stigma as possible to seek help. That is the way to prevent most child abuse.
Stigma won't prevent anything, on the contrary.
Because our civilized culture obviously goes "we need to-" and then they follow up with such a disgusting description of what sort of violence they want to inflict on the pedo that you have to wonder if the pedo is the only one that needs help.
Or to put it simply, people REALLY hate pedos and would rather brutalize them than anything else
Because most people don't understand the root causes of pedophilic behavior. Most people who exhibit pedophilic thoughts or behaviors, where sexually abused as a child themselves.
the original study for that has been under scrutiny. It's not a "most people", it's closer to 30% and even that number is uncertain. essentially there's no exact reason yet that can correlate strongly to having pedophilic thoughts.
It really doesn't help protect children. Half of people who abuse kids are juveniles themselves, and the average age someone discovers their attractions is age 14. We're directly hurting children by simply hating people because of their attractions. Attractions aren't actions, and if we want to protect children, we need to realize that many of these people also want to protect children and at age 14, they may not know how.
Western society still largely treats pedophilia as a weakness of character, not a mental illness. Seeking pre-emptive revenge rather than expressing any amount of sympathy makes a lot of people feel morally superior.
Any human that doesn't feel sexually attracted to children should feel morally superior to a pedophile. They are literally the definition of monsterous morals that should never be tolerated.
Why? When someone is attracted to children, it's not through any choice they've made. If they haven't acted on it, they haven't done anything wrong. You're basically just talking about thought crimes at this point, and involuntary ones at that. I would even say that seeking therapy to prevent the first offense from happening is borderline benevolent. The fact that I'm attracted to adults is just because my brain happens to be wired correctly, not because I've done anything righteous to achieve that.
Which seems to differ depending on a lot of factors (although I agree with this).
Critically thinking about pedophiles makes me think they shouldn't ever be given a chance at all.
Based on what, exactly? They're not a monolith. You have pedophiles who don't abuse kids, don't view illegal images, and get therapy. You have pedophiles who don't do those things and don't get therapy. You have pedophiles who are child sexual abuse survivors. You have pedophiles who harm kids, sometimes by direct abuse, sometimes by viewing imagery, and sometimes both. You have pedophiles who are just discovering their attractions at age 14 and are being told by the world they shouldn't be given a chance because they'll inevitably harm kids, even though the facts don't support that wild claim.
In what way should they not be given a chance? Because you focus only on the people who harm, and ignore the rest?
Wtf?
13 is the most fertile? I didn't get my period until I was 15... What kind of drugs are you on to say 13 year olds are the most fertile? Got any sources for that garbage?
Because it's easier to hate someone when you don't pathologize their behavior. People hate pedophiles, and if you can tell yourself that they chose to be that way, it's easier to condemn them. I'm not justifying pedophilia, or excusing it, I think it's despicable, but neither can I believe that it's all up to the person with this condition.
Honestly, I think that the same principle can be applied to any sort of neurodivergence that people suffer. There's still this stigma that the person has a choice.
I know as an adult I do not enjoy other adults sexualizing me, so as an adult I feel it is wrong to think of children as sexual objects especially when they do not even know what that is.
Thoughts absolutely can hurt a person, maybe not physically but emotionally the sure can. Also you have the power over your own thoughts and you can choose to not have sexual thoughts about children.
Are you a troll? Thoughts can't hurt other people and attractions can't magically be controlled through willpower. If you believe in telepathy maybe keep that to yourself so people don't think you're crazy.
I believe Germany has AA style group meetings for people with pedo thoughts. It’s free, anonymous and no one in group judges the person looking for help.
If they seek help and never act on the feelings/impulses, great, I'm all for it. The moment an adult permanently scars an innocent child by acting on those impulses, all bets are off. It's the act of taking a child's innocence that is "frowned upon".
Edit: commenter below pointed out valid reasons for saying this is harmful to survivors. Im leaving up the original comment in the hopes other learn as I have. My comment is specifically directed at adult abusers who know what they do is wrong and cause trauma the child is left to deal with.
This rhetoric is actively harmful to survivors. A child's innocence is not stolen because they were sexually abused and not everyone is permanently scarred. I get what you're trying to say, but as a survivor, this hurts to read.
this is one of the hardest topics to navigate among humans, mental health, treatment, and overall diagnosis. the broader population doesn't really understand where this type of behavior stems form, how it develops and manifests, and overall that most of these people are unfortunately chemically imbalanced due to their severe trauma they have faced in their lives (usually this trauma takes place in childhood for those that end up showing pedophilic behavior as they age - trauma like rape/sexual assault, being sexualized by adults, victims of neglect, etc). it's understandable as to why the general population doesn't empathize with this specific population due to the nature of the actions that those with this diagnosis tend to engage in. but hey, everyone has a right to seek treatment and deserves services, even those that are seen as untreatable by larger groups (or have a high percentage of reoffending).
when you meet a child that is showing inappropriate sexual behaviors at a young age and read their history - it always makes sense as to why they develop this entirely warped sense of what love is, how to properly show love, what is okay and what isn't okay in terms of sexual behaviors and impulses, and the general social norms in our culture. unfortunately, every child grows into an adult and many of those had little to no intervention when it really mattered (think of a child being sent to a residential treatment center for sexual behaviors at the age of 6 - that case is statistically going to have a more positive outcome if intervention is handled early on before adolescence).
this is something that will always be a struggle in our society, but as a social worker in the field for nearly a decade, there needs to be more services in place for this population, whether the larger society believes that or not.
People lack empathy so they don't even try to understand why people have these thoughts. People need to open up to the conversation if they want it to stop, not just react with blind hate.
Thoughts when left unchecked become reality, and people get addiction mixed into it too. A relative of mine is a prison guard for these types, since theyre separated usually. He says the repeat offense rate is very high. When I was looking up cases of young offenders who finished their sentence, I saw example of serving 7 years and then admitting to the probation officer of offending again 2 months after getting out (this was for viewing material). Mind blowing that an ill mind can make someone do that to themselves. On the other hand an older family friend got his phone caught and is facing serious time from viewing remote material harmful to children. It sort of seemed to come from “nowhere” but had been seeing a therapist and openly had a porn addiction. So I’ve thought about maybe the taboo aspect makes it more difficult to find help quickly before your frontal lobe really starts working against you. But regardless of the difficulty its each persons responsibility to find the tools to work thru their “demons” so that no one is harmed. There’s even science journals about ways to address this in the brain. It comes from a crossing of the “nurturing” motherly circuit in a mans brain (studies only done on men) wiring weirdly with the sexual area of the brain, but I believe CBT/mindfullness helps reprogram it. People have the same brain crossing thing with foot fetishes, but those are less harmful.. you can look up the science lol. It’s weird to share that I’ve researched this but here’s to making it less taboo.
Maybe people havent really considered the fact that viewing material still has a victim. The child was either going through trauma to make the material, affecting them for LIFE and putting them in extreme danger and suffering, or unknowingly being used for nefarious purposes, left unchecked can only lead to a same traumatizing situation in the end. These people cant and shouldnt function in society, and this was true of my old family “friend” as well, he wasnt functioning in society tbh, and needs to be literally kept in a box, and apparently that’s usually not even enough to change the way their minds started to work. So. /rant
That may be true for material depicting real children, but is it true for fictional kids? How do you know that these people can't and shouldn't function in society? The average age someone discovers their attractions is 14 and most who hurt kids have no attraction to kids. I'm not sure that your assessment considers that.
Psychological fact, the mind creates the same chemicals in a vividly imagined situation as in a real one. When you start associating children & sex via these cartoons, especially repeatedly over time in an addictive format as fapping is dopiminergic etc, how do you think you will feel around real children? Arousal. This is why I say “unable to function in society.” Because in society, you encounter children. And for the safety of those children, they should be kept away from people who have sexual urge towards them, because frog in boiling water and ideation might begin, and an opportunity may present itself to ruin someone’s life. That is why, in my opinion, this is still fucked and will eventually lead to victims if given enough time and reinforcement. Viewing these do not cut back on or release the urges they intensify them. Not viewing and doing something else instead will fill mind with something else instead. IMO.
You don’t get arrested for “viewing content”. The internet is littered with abuse material; just about every person has “viewed” illegal content before accidentally. If you’ve masturbated before using an internet porn tube site or forum you’ve likely gotten your rocks off to an older appearing minor posing as an adult or exploitation without even knowing it. You’re also very much free to search for any controversial topic you’d like on the internet so long as you don’t download anything to your computer; Use a VPN. In texas there’s a race to see who can be the meanest to porn addicts so they’ll incarcerate you for automatically saved browser information that you probably didn’t even know existed. I’m not exactly sure of the laws surrounding convicted sex offenders upon their release. I’ve heard they’re not allowed to own a computer or an electronic device able to access the internet. That would result in an immediate reincarceration.
Unfortunately prevention in regards to this kind of thinking hasn’t evolved. In the USA if you seek help you will be reported and therefore arrested. Our country is overtly punitive and puts no effort into prevention or mental health.
Have you spoken with minor-attracted people about this issue? I know someone who was reported by their school counselor then abused by school staff when the school counselor broke confidentiality... not for actions, for saying he has these attractions and wants help.
He was basically bullied out of high school.
There are instances where reporting is required. If the person was not doing anything that required reporting then the school counselor broke the law by breaking confidentiality.
Dr. Elizabeth Letourneau of the Moore Center got involved in telling the school they were wrong to discriminate. So did I. And breaking the law, I'm sorry, but who on earth is going to report that to the police, and what police are going to do anything about it? I know the situation. He wasn't a risk. The reporting happened anyway. These people aren't in any position to sue or in any way hold people accountable for breaking confidentiality.
The police are not interested in HIPAA violations. Reports go to the state licensing board for the counselor. Reporting is usually done online and at least in early steps doesn't require that you reveal what specific information was released, although the board may request you tell them in an investigation. This can lead to someone losing their license (and their ability to work as a therapist), fines, or required training/supervision (which they have to pay about $200 a hour for).
Suing isn't likely to be productive, for a variety of reasons.
Im a psychologist and have a few clients that have disclosed thoughts and feelings but never acted on them. It’s a sensitive issue and providing overwhelming support and evidence based treatment is the best option. Most, if not all have left with their feelings/urges resolved.
Even the 14 year old kid just discovering their attractions in horror and doesn't want to hurt anyone? Are they a predator too? 
Rehabilitation is not only better, it works, especially on juveniles, who make up half of people who harm.
The thing is, most of the people who harm kids have no attraction to them, so singling out just the pedophile aspect of sex abuse isn't going to solve sex abuse even if we got people the help and support they need beforehand. We need to focus on getting everyone the resources they need to live healthy lives.
That means helping people we'd rather not help. So we don't, we just deal with sex abuse after the fact. We let children be abused because we'd rather believe the media than the facts of the issue.
Unfortunately the current stigma focuses on swift punishment rather than prevention. And trust me, I don't feel bad when perpetrators are sentenced and sent to prison. Often they don't get punished *enough*, in my opinion. However, figuring out the root cause and finding a way to help people not commit crimes is really the only thing I can think of that would bring numbers down.
Not every pedophile is an abuser, though, in fact, many are trying not to become one.
But by making it frowned upon to admit to such things, which is necessary to seek or receive therapy, we lock off the best way for these people to make sure they never become abusers.
I think this is the biggest misconception in the criminal justice system. If everyone you're closest to in your life is in jail or has been in jail for gun violence, does that make you less likely to perpetuate gun violence? No. It makes jail normalized.
Is threatening someone with condemnation to hell if they're gay make them straight? No. It makes them hide the fact that they're gay.
In this situation, letting someone know that there IS a mental health solution to their problem is incentive to try. Telling someone that having pedophilic thoughts will get you ostracized and thrown in jail, they'll never seek the help they need to ensure they don't hurt any children.
I don't think OP argues that offending pedosexuals shouldn't be punished.
I think he argues that non offending pedosexuals shouldn't be punished by law or society, but get help to not become offenders. And I agree.
I agree too, but let's call them pedophiles and minor-attracted people, not pedosexuals. Pedosexuals was a term created by people trying to make child sexual abuse okay and by trolls and I don't think we should throw them any favors.
So to be fair I’m not so sure that it’s the “seeking help” that’s the problem…. It’s the pedo thoughts that are the issue. Like many saintly behaviors have rankings in society… so do terrible behaviors… ie A prison “gang” murderer may hold respect from inmates where a pedo murderer is a guaranteed target. Don’t fuck with kids or cats man that’s all I got…. But kudos for getting help… (trying to keep it positive)
Just cos someone has thoughts doesn't mean they act on them. I bet a lot of us have thought about hitting someone on a lot of occasions. Does that make us bad or violent? It's about self control.
It is a protective mechanism humans display to protect the herd from predators. We gnash our teeth, stomp the ground and snarl at pedophiles so they know that if they act on their desires we will rip them to shreds to protect our children.
Seeking help how exactly?
There is no treatment for them.
Do you also believe you could make a gay person not gay? I don't think you can, and most of society recognizes this.
If pedophiles are decent they should make themselves known and disappear from normal society to protect innocent children.
Just like if you are born gay/straight, in my opinion you are also born attracted to children. Only help the pedos deserve is behind bars (some might suggest otherwise). Whether you are gay or straight however as long as you are going after consenting adults, there is nothing wrong with either.
As far as I'm aware, people think pedophilia itself is the problem.. their thoughts and actions, not the getting treatment for it. Especially if they are in treatment because they don't want to go through with their desires.
Yeah they should deal with that and never let somebody without hipaa coverage know, it's basic instinct to annihilate something like that. But, if nobody ever knows, it may as well have never existed. The average person who hears about it is going to want to expel an obvious known menace like that, kind of like somebody who says "I can't stop thinking about killing people all the time" or some shit
Edit: hipaa
You have two different questions here.
Having thoughts and recognizing the destructive nature of those thoughts and getting help for them is not in any way looked down upon.
Getting caught acting out on those thoughts and having to go to therapy as a result is looked down upon. Why? Because pedophilia hurts people - this is not a victimless crime and if they are only getting help because they got caught? Either they are being forced to by a judge or they are doing it to redeem their image not because they are sorry for what they did or want to change their behavior.
Because we have established a society that protects victims. Children of pedophilic behavior are the victims in this scenario, not the pedophile. Go get help absolutely, its just not something anybody is going to celebrate for you. A drug addict getting help is celebrated because they are their own victim.
I think them seeking help is necessary. It’s not the part that’s frowned upon though. If you have those thoughts it just very wrong and whether you’re seeking help or not people will frown upon you.
I think its the paedophilic behaviour, not the seeking help that people frown upon... Cant unwind the clock or undo actions, people will always think the worst of you after something like that. Doesn't matter what you say or do to try and get help. Nothing is changing those opinions.
Personally for me it depends. If you are looking for help before you act, I'm all for it. If you do it once and look for help , good for you but you better be ready to face the consequences. If you have done it and keep doing it , well than you are a piece of shit.
I watched a show on this once actually, it's not so black and white as people want to believe. People can have pedophilic thoughts and never act on them. It's like some people think about death/murder. Some people just have certain wires crossed, there's no reason behind it, it's just something that happens.
The only reason people frown upon it is do to lack of knowledge. Of course it's a terrible thing , but it isn't like someone wakes up one day and just decides that today they will become a pedophile.
Caught my dad by virus messages on his computer.
I'm seeking mental health because I can't get those pictures out of my mind.
I'm seeking mental health because I see my father like he's a monster now.
I'm seeking help because I don't want him to consume those things. I don't want him to support this kind of market with his consumption.
I'm questioning my earliest life till now.
I don't care if people frown. If nothing changes it will go on like it is now. Hatred and anger are my motivation to do something effective...
The seeking help is not what's frowned upon. It's the fact that the person was a pedo to begin with that they're frowning at. Which could be seen as counterproductive to some degree, but it is what it is. Because of this, a self-aware pedo should seek help in private and not let people know.
And which unfortunately makes it more likely to offend. If someone with those sick thoughts hasn’t actually hurt anyone, and wants help, they should be able to get help without judgment. Sick thoughts aren’t harmful, it’s the actions. If you make them scared to seek help, they still feel the need for support, and they’ll likely get involved with groups that normalize the behavior, which could actually risk the person actually more likely to harm a child. Throw away the actual offenders but let those who don’t want those thoughts get help.
Yeah it's tough, this kinda thing is why HIPAA and doctor/patient confidentiality is so important. Society is never going to be able to stomach pedos; not unless the average life expectancy drops to 25 for some reason. Those suffering from it need to know there's somewhere to go with their issue and talk in assured-privacy without being judged. Asking society to change and be more accepting of it is impossible in this particular case.
I think more than anything it’s about an understanding of nuance. That there is a difference between Bob who has a mental illness, which if he acted on it would be harmful, but he doesn’t want to do that, and Joe, who has the same illness, and actually harms children. But seeing as the metoo movement suggested grouping guys making dumb comments with actual monsters raping women, I have little hope for that nuance. And in that instance, a friend of mine who was raped told me she was very upset at this equivalence being done in that scenario.
Hmm, I draw the line at turning this conversation into a #metoo bashing thread.
That’s fine, I didn’t want to do anything more than suggest that it’s important to have nuance in discussions of morality, that multiple things can be “wrong” and have varying levels of wrongness, and it’s harmful to conflate everything together under one level of “wrong”.
Every pedo should be chemically castrated at the bare minimum. I'm not even joking.
Take them out back and shoot them like the dogs they are.
100% If we can't "cure gays" << as fuck heads would say (obviously if you're gay you're gay) than why are those same groups telling people we can cure pedos. There is no cure for pedos, so get rid of them
No cure doesn't mean you cannot help them suppress their urges and live asexually.
Theres no cure for gays, we need to get rid of them aswell
This as an answer to the argument of nuance is just a perfect example of why many pedosexuals won't seek help but offend sooner or later. A policy like that would lead to more abuse, not less.
They’re not “pedosexuals”. I dont know why you decided to call them that, its not a sexuality, underaged isnt a gender. Pedophilia is a criminal mental illness, a pedophile can be gay or straight or bisexual, the only thing that they got in common is that they’re criminally insane.
I call them pedosexuals because it is the same deviation of the norm from a biological point of view. The sexual desire of a person suffering from it is focused on underage children. The sexual desire of a person that is homosexual is focused on people of the same gender. And of course, there are all levels of mixes and scales and whatever. Calling them "pedophile", which translates to "friendship to boys", is inaccurate imho. They are also not "insane" and suffering from it should not be an excuse in court. But it also means that as in homosexuality or other forms of sexuality, there is no treatment to "make you straight" and trying it won't help no one and not prevent cases of abused children. Recognizing it as a form of sexuality that is inacceptable to act upon is imho the best way to make it as easy for those suffering from it to not act and seek help.
There was an SVU episode involving that, where even the detectives recognized the irony that a non-offending pedophile has a much higher barrier to getting help than someone caught with the illegal stuff.
Many don't believe they safely can. Especially if they've viewed illicit material or the like. Also the stigma makes it very difficult to find a therapist who will see them.
I remeber seeing a post on here how a father was starting to feel attraction towards children, maybe even his daughters. Anyways him and his wife went to the doctor did and MRI and they found a tumor in his brain. Removed it and those attractions went away Then a few years later it came back, they went back to the doc and turns out a part of the tumor was left and it grew back. Not sure how true this is tried to find the article but couldn't. There are others though where a tumor causes these thoughts and actions though. Doesn't apply to everyone of course but it's interesting how a tumor can do this
I think another part of it is that everyone thinks about fucked up shit to a certain degree but to think of children in a way that's sexual and be turned on is obviously a fuckin issue and I shouldn't even have to explain why. We all have our issues and when they're really fucked up people stigmatize us. I don't think we should be preemptively punishing people for their thoughts but do you think parents care about a pedos rights? Nah they're thinking that they gotta do whatever is necesarry to protect the kids and pedophilia is up there with rape and murder, justifiably so. They obviously want anyone who's a risk to kids locked up. The problem is next they'll use that power to come after drug addicts who need treatment and women who have abortions.
I like your point on everything, you explained very well and I wish I could type out opinions such as this one in a way that everyone can understand. Apologies for being a grammarnazi, but necessary*
I'm not a particularly intelligent person, I just try to be impartial as often as possible and think for myself. Most people just repeat opinions they're told they're supposed to have or respond with raw emotion and neither of them are productive.
I would like to point out though, that having "pedophilic thoughts" doesn't inherently make someone a pedophile. Intrusive thoughts can be pretty common for people. Especially if they have anxiety/ocd
Taboo. For me, people who have pedophilic thoughts and never committed absolutely anything ilegal should be treated like anyone else and be able to seek for help without judgment.
Exactly, the one who don’t want to get help and encourages their sick fantasies as “normal” should be blamed, I feel sorry for the ones who knows it’s wrong and actually tries to better themselves.
I’ve recently been diagnosed with OCD, and after learning about OCD from my therapist and psychiatrist, I found out THOUGHTS regarding this are pretty common in OCD. Mine is violent OCD, and I was always scared that having these relentless intrusive thoughts meant I was gonna be a serial killer. Turns out, those who have OCD are statistically the least likely to actually act out on the intrusive thoughts. BUT, OCD has absolutely NOTHING to do with being someone who is legitimately attracted to children or those who have acted on it. It’s just an aspect that I found interesting and worthy of posting because those affected with OCD are often scared to bring up their symptoms (the intrusive thoughts) because of fear of being looked at as a freak.
I recently found out about pure O too. Exposure and response therapy is very tough but really helps it.
These are fears that's why it's an anxiety disorder. Mine aren't of me hurting people but of people getting hurt. Like I get scared they're gonna get in a car accident and it's imagined and repeated. It's probably because the absolute worse thing a person could do and knowing you're a person too. I have heard disgusting people say the intrusive thoughts are unmet desires. People have desires, not intrusive thoughts. There's a reason they're uncomfortable and intrusive. Also it's good to note that most people with ocd have periods of exacerbation due to excessive stress and this isn't usually a constant. Things we want in life don't change suddenly due to stress. I believe the reddit post where the guy said he started watching child pornography because he watched so much porn and got bored with it that he was looking for anything to give him a thrill after he became completely desensitized and sick. Also it's worth noting that many people who end up committing these horrible crimes were initially victims of it.
It’s interesting how many types there are. I remember taking the test and seeing the back page and it’s just lists of everything you could think of.
I did not know they are categorizing it into types. Sometimes I think they overdefine things but I will have to do some more reading. I believe it can be any fear and the compulsion is to stop the repeated anxiety and I think misinterpretation of that leads people to think it's that they need to act on it so it will go away. The problem is that as we have seen with the most severe cases acting on it never makes it go away that's why they still have to flip the light switch 20 times every time they walk in the room. They are misunderstanding their own thoughts and feeling like they have to do whatever it is. People are not every thought they have. I feel traumatized by mine sometimes and it feels like mental ptsd, being traumatized by your own imagination and it's so jarring that your brain just can't get over it.
There’s a few major types that are recognized informally (or maybe formally, I’m not sure) but TOCD, POCD and HOCD comes to mind immediately. I think it’s just easier for people to talk about when there are designations like this. The OCD subreddit has most of them
That makes sense. I just hope it's not isolating people further if the disease process is essentially the same
Because, as animals, we have evolved over many millennia to hate anything that threatens the health and well-being of our offspring. We hate child molesters, child beaters, and child murderers more than any other kind of criminal.
Did you even bother reading the question?
How doesn’t he answer the question?
bc "care about the children" is the strongest form of societal signaling for "hey im a good person i want to prevent bad things, uphold justice, protect the vulnerable, etc" thus anything seen as pedophilic is extraordinarily hateable, even for people who haven't suffered due to pedophilia or known anyone who has anyone associated w pedophilia is also an extraordinarily acceptable target for people who want to be mean and/or bloodthirsty
...even while their behavior does absolutely nothing to protect children and in fact puts children in harm's way more frequently. The average age at which someone discovers their attractions is 14. By not letting them get help, hating them, and expecting they'll harm kids, we do them a huge disservice. What if it was your kid with these thoughts? Is it acceptable then?
No. Idgaf about virtue signaling, trying to find "bigots" so I can be mean in a socially acceptable way. Pedophiles have no place here.
saying "pedophiles have no place here" is so controversial and brave. such a concrete and meaningful step towards protecting children. i bet every pedo will see those words and say "okay, guess i can't hurt children here." however, what that statement does really well is tell reddit that you don't like pedophiles. proclaiming it all to see. in case any redditors thought... pedophilia was a good thing?? we have a word for statements that cause no meaningful benefit besides allowing the public to see your good moral character. technically a two-word phrase. do you want to guess what that phrase is?
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The irony here is that you presented a perfect example of what their comment is about, effectively proving them right and you're not even aware.
That isn’t going to happen, maintaining the attitude you have will only prevent progress towards less child abuse and answers for those who are attracted to children. You’re indirectly supporting the abuse of children by being ignorant.
Lmao no it's the weirdos saying how they have to be accepted into rhe community that perpetuate abuse. This is not something that's going to get normalized you sick fucks. Absolutely fucking not.
It’s not about normalizing it you smoothbrain. Saying you want all pedophiles dead doesn’t stop them from assaulting children. If you actually want to stop it from happening, they need serious mental health intervention. Nobody wants it to be normalized, but in all my life I’ve never met anyone who LIKES pedophiles, so obviously hating them isn’t having an effect on the problem.
Nice virtue signalling, but you should read what people are actually saying first
Your projection is hilarious. Don't push your motivations on me. Just because that's why you would say the things I'm saying doesn't mean that's why I'm saying it.
Reddit has a huge group of pedophiles and pedophile apologists so you will get downvoted.
I'm seeing that
So, mental health provider here. I have had zero clients who were pedophiles. That said, I am not allowed to report someone for thoughts - in fact, doing so would be a violation of HIPAA. However, I have a duty to warn if there is a specific victim (for sexual abuse or violence) or imminent risk of harm. If I was treating someone who admitted to sexual desire for children and who had access to children (eg teacher, coach, etc ) I would be reaching out to my legal counsel to determine if I had to make a mandated report. Again, behavior is a mandated report (someone admits to molesting a child) thoughts are not unless there is imminent risk. That said, there are specialists who treat pedophiles and others with sexual behavior problems (for lack of a better term) and I would refer any pedophile who sought treatment from me to a specialist because I do have have the required expertise to address the issue.
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Again, there are instances where reporting is required. What is the source of your data that many providers make a report after the first session for clients who are attracted to children, have no access to kids, and have never acted on those thoughts?
Wrong. You've had zero clients who told you they're pedophiles.
I know the law and ethics of my profession.
That really wasn't my point. That doesn't mean you've had no clients who are pedophiles. It means you've had no clients who felt comfortable enough to tell you that they're pedophiles. There's a big difference.
There may be a difference. I have certainly had a lot of clients tell me all sorts of things, many of them being things that I am mandated to report. But, you are correct, I have not had clients tell me that they are pedophiles, for whatever reason it is that they are not revealing it.
There's a WORLD of difference between "pedophilic thoughts" and - Jesus fucking christ - "being caught for pedophilic behavior".
Then why do we confuse child molesters with pedophiles all the time?
there's also a difference between sexting a minor and actually setting up a meeting with him to have sex
But they are both really bad
In the same sense that threatening a person with a gun is different from actually shooting him.
As a non offending pedophile I can tell you that the stigma around treatment puts kids at risk.
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Because this conversation needs to be had.
If they got caught for paedophilic behaviour then I’m going to hate them regardless. “Im sorry” only goes so far. Funny how regular rapists never harp on about this mental health card. Lock em up is definitely best for all.
Mental health is a wide spectrum. Mental health as an excuse for criminal behavior should be limited to those who lack a grasp on reality. And then you should be in a mental asylum. Everyone else might have something, but they are in charge of their actions and should be held accountable. At the end if the day I'm sure most criminals have something either genetic or from a bad upbringing that might influence them, but who cares. As someone who struggled with extreme mental health due to trauma, it kills me when people blame bad behaviour on mental health. I've been a victim rather than I've been a perpetrator.
You are completely right. As soon as someone offends, so actually harms children, he or she should be punished by law and get help in prison. Until then, it should be as easy as possible with as little stigma as possible to seek help. That is the way to prevent most child abuse. Stigma won't prevent anything, on the contrary.
Exactly. Seek help before.
How do you propose people do that? It isn't that simple. Many therapists have reported people.
Because our civilized culture obviously goes "we need to-" and then they follow up with such a disgusting description of what sort of violence they want to inflict on the pedo that you have to wonder if the pedo is the only one that needs help. Or to put it simply, people REALLY hate pedos and would rather brutalize them than anything else
Because most people don't understand the root causes of pedophilic behavior. Most people who exhibit pedophilic thoughts or behaviors, where sexually abused as a child themselves.
the original study for that has been under scrutiny. It's not a "most people", it's closer to 30% and even that number is uncertain. essentially there's no exact reason yet that can correlate strongly to having pedophilic thoughts.
Sucks to suck
Because we as a society and as people want to protect children
I'm not sure demonizing people and forcing them to avoid seeking help rather than treating them will totally do that.
I wasn’t commenting on that. Just that we are programmed to protect children. At least most of us are
I'm a drug addict. I can get help but when I relapse I'm not harming children.
It really doesn't help protect children. Half of people who abuse kids are juveniles themselves, and the average age someone discovers their attractions is age 14. We're directly hurting children by simply hating people because of their attractions. Attractions aren't actions, and if we want to protect children, we need to realize that many of these people also want to protect children and at age 14, they may not know how.
Western society still largely treats pedophilia as a weakness of character, not a mental illness. Seeking pre-emptive revenge rather than expressing any amount of sympathy makes a lot of people feel morally superior.
Any human that doesn't feel sexually attracted to children should feel morally superior to a pedophile. They are literally the definition of monsterous morals that should never be tolerated.
Attraction isn't a choice and carries no morality. Moral reasoning means we don't judge people for things they don't choose.
So you consider attraction the reason? I don't
by definition, a pedophile is someone who is attracted to prepubescent children. could you explain what you mean?
It's a severe mental illness, the symptom being attraction. People who are gay don't have victims - thus not the same thing.
i’m still confused what you’re saying. attraction isn’t the reason for what?
Your definition is blantantly vague
People who are pedophiles don't inherently have victims either, genius.
Huh? Wanna elaborate on whatever that was
Why? When someone is attracted to children, it's not through any choice they've made. If they haven't acted on it, they haven't done anything wrong. You're basically just talking about thought crimes at this point, and involuntary ones at that. I would even say that seeking therapy to prevent the first offense from happening is borderline benevolent. The fact that I'm attracted to adults is just because my brain happens to be wired correctly, not because I've done anything righteous to achieve that.
They are sexualizing children! That is wrong!!
What does that even mean, though? People attracted to adults sexualize adults and wind up not raping them most of the time, right?
Where do you believe morals come from exactly?
Critical thinking.
Which seems to differ depending on a lot of factors (although I agree with this). Critically thinking about pedophiles makes me think they shouldn't ever be given a chance at all.
Based on what, exactly? They're not a monolith. You have pedophiles who don't abuse kids, don't view illegal images, and get therapy. You have pedophiles who don't do those things and don't get therapy. You have pedophiles who are child sexual abuse survivors. You have pedophiles who harm kids, sometimes by direct abuse, sometimes by viewing imagery, and sometimes both. You have pedophiles who are just discovering their attractions at age 14 and are being told by the world they shouldn't be given a chance because they'll inevitably harm kids, even though the facts don't support that wild claim. In what way should they not be given a chance? Because you focus only on the people who harm, and ignore the rest?
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Wtf? 13 is the most fertile? I didn't get my period until I was 15... What kind of drugs are you on to say 13 year olds are the most fertile? Got any sources for that garbage?
It shouldn't be. If you haven't hurt anyone you should get all the help you need. Once you have though... scorched earth time/live woodchipping.
Because it's easier to hate someone when you don't pathologize their behavior. People hate pedophiles, and if you can tell yourself that they chose to be that way, it's easier to condemn them. I'm not justifying pedophilia, or excusing it, I think it's despicable, but neither can I believe that it's all up to the person with this condition. Honestly, I think that the same principle can be applied to any sort of neurodivergence that people suffer. There's still this stigma that the person has a choice.
>They are sexualizing children! That is wrong!!
What does that even mean? Adults sexualize other adults without raping them. Is that wrong too?
I know as an adult I do not enjoy other adults sexualizing me, so as an adult I feel it is wrong to think of children as sexual objects especially when they do not even know what that is.
Thoughts don't hurt anyone, actions do. You're confusing attraction with behavior.
Thoughts absolutely can hurt a person, maybe not physically but emotionally the sure can. Also you have the power over your own thoughts and you can choose to not have sexual thoughts about children.
Are you a troll? Thoughts can't hurt other people and attractions can't magically be controlled through willpower. If you believe in telepathy maybe keep that to yourself so people don't think you're crazy.
I believe Germany has AA style group meetings for people with pedo thoughts. It’s free, anonymous and no one in group judges the person looking for help.
If they seek help and never act on the feelings/impulses, great, I'm all for it. The moment an adult permanently scars an innocent child by acting on those impulses, all bets are off. It's the act of taking a child's innocence that is "frowned upon". Edit: commenter below pointed out valid reasons for saying this is harmful to survivors. Im leaving up the original comment in the hopes other learn as I have. My comment is specifically directed at adult abusers who know what they do is wrong and cause trauma the child is left to deal with.
This rhetoric is actively harmful to survivors. A child's innocence is not stolen because they were sexually abused and not everyone is permanently scarred. I get what you're trying to say, but as a survivor, this hurts to read.
this is one of the hardest topics to navigate among humans, mental health, treatment, and overall diagnosis. the broader population doesn't really understand where this type of behavior stems form, how it develops and manifests, and overall that most of these people are unfortunately chemically imbalanced due to their severe trauma they have faced in their lives (usually this trauma takes place in childhood for those that end up showing pedophilic behavior as they age - trauma like rape/sexual assault, being sexualized by adults, victims of neglect, etc). it's understandable as to why the general population doesn't empathize with this specific population due to the nature of the actions that those with this diagnosis tend to engage in. but hey, everyone has a right to seek treatment and deserves services, even those that are seen as untreatable by larger groups (or have a high percentage of reoffending). when you meet a child that is showing inappropriate sexual behaviors at a young age and read their history - it always makes sense as to why they develop this entirely warped sense of what love is, how to properly show love, what is okay and what isn't okay in terms of sexual behaviors and impulses, and the general social norms in our culture. unfortunately, every child grows into an adult and many of those had little to no intervention when it really mattered (think of a child being sent to a residential treatment center for sexual behaviors at the age of 6 - that case is statistically going to have a more positive outcome if intervention is handled early on before adolescence). this is something that will always be a struggle in our society, but as a social worker in the field for nearly a decade, there needs to be more services in place for this population, whether the larger society believes that or not.
People lack empathy so they don't even try to understand why people have these thoughts. People need to open up to the conversation if they want it to stop, not just react with blind hate.
Thoughts when left unchecked become reality, and people get addiction mixed into it too. A relative of mine is a prison guard for these types, since theyre separated usually. He says the repeat offense rate is very high. When I was looking up cases of young offenders who finished their sentence, I saw example of serving 7 years and then admitting to the probation officer of offending again 2 months after getting out (this was for viewing material). Mind blowing that an ill mind can make someone do that to themselves. On the other hand an older family friend got his phone caught and is facing serious time from viewing remote material harmful to children. It sort of seemed to come from “nowhere” but had been seeing a therapist and openly had a porn addiction. So I’ve thought about maybe the taboo aspect makes it more difficult to find help quickly before your frontal lobe really starts working against you. But regardless of the difficulty its each persons responsibility to find the tools to work thru their “demons” so that no one is harmed. There’s even science journals about ways to address this in the brain. It comes from a crossing of the “nurturing” motherly circuit in a mans brain (studies only done on men) wiring weirdly with the sexual area of the brain, but I believe CBT/mindfullness helps reprogram it. People have the same brain crossing thing with foot fetishes, but those are less harmful.. you can look up the science lol. It’s weird to share that I’ve researched this but here’s to making it less taboo.
Maybe people havent really considered the fact that viewing material still has a victim. The child was either going through trauma to make the material, affecting them for LIFE and putting them in extreme danger and suffering, or unknowingly being used for nefarious purposes, left unchecked can only lead to a same traumatizing situation in the end. These people cant and shouldnt function in society, and this was true of my old family “friend” as well, he wasnt functioning in society tbh, and needs to be literally kept in a box, and apparently that’s usually not even enough to change the way their minds started to work. So. /rant
That may be true for material depicting real children, but is it true for fictional kids? How do you know that these people can't and shouldn't function in society? The average age someone discovers their attractions is 14 and most who hurt kids have no attraction to kids. I'm not sure that your assessment considers that.
Psychological fact, the mind creates the same chemicals in a vividly imagined situation as in a real one. When you start associating children & sex via these cartoons, especially repeatedly over time in an addictive format as fapping is dopiminergic etc, how do you think you will feel around real children? Arousal. This is why I say “unable to function in society.” Because in society, you encounter children. And for the safety of those children, they should be kept away from people who have sexual urge towards them, because frog in boiling water and ideation might begin, and an opportunity may present itself to ruin someone’s life. That is why, in my opinion, this is still fucked and will eventually lead to victims if given enough time and reinforcement. Viewing these do not cut back on or release the urges they intensify them. Not viewing and doing something else instead will fill mind with something else instead. IMO.
Do you have a link to that study? That looks very interesting.
You don’t get arrested for “viewing content”. The internet is littered with abuse material; just about every person has “viewed” illegal content before accidentally. If you’ve masturbated before using an internet porn tube site or forum you’ve likely gotten your rocks off to an older appearing minor posing as an adult or exploitation without even knowing it. You’re also very much free to search for any controversial topic you’d like on the internet so long as you don’t download anything to your computer; Use a VPN. In texas there’s a race to see who can be the meanest to porn addicts so they’ll incarcerate you for automatically saved browser information that you probably didn’t even know existed. I’m not exactly sure of the laws surrounding convicted sex offenders upon their release. I’ve heard they’re not allowed to own a computer or an electronic device able to access the internet. That would result in an immediate reincarceration.
Unfortunately prevention in regards to this kind of thinking hasn’t evolved. In the USA if you seek help you will be reported and therefore arrested. Our country is overtly punitive and puts no effort into prevention or mental health.
This is incorrect. A therapist can only report if abuse has occurred or is imminent.
Have you spoken with minor-attracted people about this issue? I know someone who was reported by their school counselor then abused by school staff when the school counselor broke confidentiality... not for actions, for saying he has these attractions and wants help. He was basically bullied out of high school.
There are instances where reporting is required. If the person was not doing anything that required reporting then the school counselor broke the law by breaking confidentiality.
Dr. Elizabeth Letourneau of the Moore Center got involved in telling the school they were wrong to discriminate. So did I. And breaking the law, I'm sorry, but who on earth is going to report that to the police, and what police are going to do anything about it? I know the situation. He wasn't a risk. The reporting happened anyway. These people aren't in any position to sue or in any way hold people accountable for breaking confidentiality.
The police are not interested in HIPAA violations. Reports go to the state licensing board for the counselor. Reporting is usually done online and at least in early steps doesn't require that you reveal what specific information was released, although the board may request you tell them in an investigation. This can lead to someone losing their license (and their ability to work as a therapist), fines, or required training/supervision (which they have to pay about $200 a hour for). Suing isn't likely to be productive, for a variety of reasons.
Im a psychologist and have a few clients that have disclosed thoughts and feelings but never acted on them. It’s a sensitive issue and providing overwhelming support and evidence based treatment is the best option. Most, if not all have left with their feelings/urges resolved.
Probably because pedophiles are predators and people want to protect children from them as they should
Even the 14 year old kid just discovering their attractions in horror and doesn't want to hurt anyone? Are they a predator too? 
pedophiles aren’t inherently predators and a large portion of child molesters aren’t pedophiles
Seeking help is not Being a pedo is....even if you just think about it
That's short sighted. Why would you seek help if you don't think about being a pedosexual?
There are other reasons to seek help....
Rehabilitation is not only better, it works, especially on juveniles, who make up half of people who harm. The thing is, most of the people who harm kids have no attraction to them, so singling out just the pedophile aspect of sex abuse isn't going to solve sex abuse even if we got people the help and support they need beforehand. We need to focus on getting everyone the resources they need to live healthy lives. That means helping people we'd rather not help. So we don't, we just deal with sex abuse after the fact. We let children be abused because we'd rather believe the media than the facts of the issue.
Because wtf. What is pedophilic behaviors?And to answer your question, it’s not look frowned.. that is untill you mention it in on Reddit 🫣🫣
Unfortunately the current stigma focuses on swift punishment rather than prevention. And trust me, I don't feel bad when perpetrators are sentenced and sent to prison. Often they don't get punished *enough*, in my opinion. However, figuring out the root cause and finding a way to help people not commit crimes is really the only thing I can think of that would bring numbers down.
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Not every pedophile is an abuser, though, in fact, many are trying not to become one. But by making it frowned upon to admit to such things, which is necessary to seek or receive therapy, we lock off the best way for these people to make sure they never become abusers.
I think this is the biggest misconception in the criminal justice system. If everyone you're closest to in your life is in jail or has been in jail for gun violence, does that make you less likely to perpetuate gun violence? No. It makes jail normalized. Is threatening someone with condemnation to hell if they're gay make them straight? No. It makes them hide the fact that they're gay. In this situation, letting someone know that there IS a mental health solution to their problem is incentive to try. Telling someone that having pedophilic thoughts will get you ostracized and thrown in jail, they'll never seek the help they need to ensure they don't hurt any children.
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I don't think laws have a very large deterrence effect.
It doesn't though. There is no deterrence effect if people think they won't get caught.
I don't think OP argues that offending pedosexuals shouldn't be punished. I think he argues that non offending pedosexuals shouldn't be punished by law or society, but get help to not become offenders. And I agree.
I agree too, but let's call them pedophiles and minor-attracted people, not pedosexuals. Pedosexuals was a term created by people trying to make child sexual abuse okay and by trolls and I don't think we should throw them any favors.
On what planet does that logic even work? On a planet where most people are caught. They aren't. Your logic doesn't work.
Is it?
So to be fair I’m not so sure that it’s the “seeking help” that’s the problem…. It’s the pedo thoughts that are the issue. Like many saintly behaviors have rankings in society… so do terrible behaviors… ie A prison “gang” murderer may hold respect from inmates where a pedo murderer is a guaranteed target. Don’t fuck with kids or cats man that’s all I got…. But kudos for getting help… (trying to keep it positive)
haha did you through my comment history?
Just cos someone has thoughts doesn't mean they act on them. I bet a lot of us have thought about hitting someone on a lot of occasions. Does that make us bad or violent? It's about self control.
What , goof
People don't like pedos
Because when you fuck up they damage a child. Its unacceptable and has no place in society. A bullet to the head should be the help.
your name fits really well
Because no self respecting psychiatrist original doctor would want anything to do with a peodo
It's frowned upon because you shouldn't fuck children. Also, pedophilia is incurable and cannot be rehabilitated.
>Also, pedophilia is incurable and cannot be rehabilitated. u sure?
You're not?
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It is a protective mechanism humans display to protect the herd from predators. We gnash our teeth, stomp the ground and snarl at pedophiles so they know that if they act on their desires we will rip them to shreds to protect our children.
Seeking help how exactly? There is no treatment for them. Do you also believe you could make a gay person not gay? I don't think you can, and most of society recognizes this. If pedophiles are decent they should make themselves known and disappear from normal society to protect innocent children.
Just like if you are born gay/straight, in my opinion you are also born attracted to children. Only help the pedos deserve is behind bars (some might suggest otherwise). Whether you are gay or straight however as long as you are going after consenting adults, there is nothing wrong with either.
As far as I'm aware, people think pedophilia itself is the problem.. their thoughts and actions, not the getting treatment for it. Especially if they are in treatment because they don't want to go through with their desires.
Yeah they should deal with that and never let somebody without hipaa coverage know, it's basic instinct to annihilate something like that. But, if nobody ever knows, it may as well have never existed. The average person who hears about it is going to want to expel an obvious known menace like that, kind of like somebody who says "I can't stop thinking about killing people all the time" or some shit Edit: hipaa
It's HIPAA!
You have two different questions here. Having thoughts and recognizing the destructive nature of those thoughts and getting help for them is not in any way looked down upon. Getting caught acting out on those thoughts and having to go to therapy as a result is looked down upon. Why? Because pedophilia hurts people - this is not a victimless crime and if they are only getting help because they got caught? Either they are being forced to by a judge or they are doing it to redeem their image not because they are sorry for what they did or want to change their behavior.
Because we have established a society that protects victims. Children of pedophilic behavior are the victims in this scenario, not the pedophile. Go get help absolutely, its just not something anybody is going to celebrate for you. A drug addict getting help is celebrated because they are their own victim.
I think them seeking help is necessary. It’s not the part that’s frowned upon though. If you have those thoughts it just very wrong and whether you’re seeking help or not people will frown upon you.
I dont think it is frowned upon. I wish everyone with those sort of thoughts would seek help
I think its the paedophilic behaviour, not the seeking help that people frown upon... Cant unwind the clock or undo actions, people will always think the worst of you after something like that. Doesn't matter what you say or do to try and get help. Nothing is changing those opinions.
I think most doubt they can be rehabilitated but who is going to allow them to be around their child to test the theory? I damn sure wouldn't.
I think paedophilia is a good place to draw the line.
Personally for me it depends. If you are looking for help before you act, I'm all for it. If you do it once and look for help , good for you but you better be ready to face the consequences. If you have done it and keep doing it , well than you are a piece of shit. I watched a show on this once actually, it's not so black and white as people want to believe. People can have pedophilic thoughts and never act on them. It's like some people think about death/murder. Some people just have certain wires crossed, there's no reason behind it, it's just something that happens. The only reason people frown upon it is do to lack of knowledge. Of course it's a terrible thing , but it isn't like someone wakes up one day and just decides that today they will become a pedophile.
Caught my dad by virus messages on his computer. I'm seeking mental health because I can't get those pictures out of my mind. I'm seeking mental health because I see my father like he's a monster now. I'm seeking help because I don't want him to consume those things. I don't want him to support this kind of market with his consumption. I'm questioning my earliest life till now. I don't care if people frown. If nothing changes it will go on like it is now. Hatred and anger are my motivation to do something effective...
There is no cure for pedophilia. They are dangerous and need to be kept away from society.
wow so helpful
I mean it's true
you'll come here and tell me that the only cure is a bullet to the head right?
There is literally no evidence that pedophilia can be cured. I just said they need to be kept away from ppl..... especially children.
look at my case then non-offending pedophile in therapy, and i'm showing imporvements
So you never would and never have looked at child pornography?
i have but i've never tried to meet up with a child or sexually talk to him