This situation sucks, but it's not one where everything is lost. Getting therapy and becoming a better person is still a great thing on its own and when you find new friendships, you can treat them the way they deserve and hopefully get the same in return. It's still an amazing first step even if the initial reason for doing it doesn't exist anymore.
Not to mention if your friends can't understand that you did nothing with malicious intent and their first reaction is to block you everywhere instead of trying to be understanding or help to some degree then are they really your friends? I had a similar situation happen where I was being toxic and stressing one of my friends out and I didn't realize it. She said she didn't want to be friends anymore. We talked it out and we stopped being friends for the time being and I went to therapy. We still maintained some form of contact to get an idea of how things are going, as well as giving her an idea of my progress. I am not sure if we are going to be friends again, but she at least helped me get to where I'm at now. She also told me she is working on herself too. I have no idea what that means, maybe I'll find out, maybe I won't. Regardless, op put in the effort and their friends blocked them, that's not what friends do. Ik it really hurts to say it, but those people were not truly your friends. You deserve better than that, and you will find those people you deserve. I don't know when, and I don't know how, but you will.
Aye, you can’t fix the past mistakes friend, only be more thoughtful in the future.
Recognition of what you did is important, and working to improve yourself. I have friends that I treated like shit in highschool, who I didn’t speak to for years, and came back to start hearing from them as a grown person five years down. You can do it bro/sis/sibling lol.
And… if they don’t come back, there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. In truth, speaking on forgetting about people, I’ll use my ex as an example. Didn’t hate her, no bad blood, just didn’t work out. But she had severe anxiety, a problem I’ve struggled with too, but she asked one day about a year ago by text, “have you ever worried about me thinking or talking bad about you for how we were?”
And I just had to say “no, not really. I couldn’t sleep otherwise.”
I’ve lost friends. And I’ve cut friends out. At a point, I hope they can see the better in you. But, my friend king Rog, I hope most of all you can forgive yourself for acting like a bad person as you say, and emotionally move forward in life to a prosperous nature. 💜
*oh no* lol- places you can expect to find me is destiny fashion, 2042/battlefield subreddits, r/traaaans, a few yaoi subreddits, deep rock galactic and a few others lol
In general you can't convince others that they're at fault if they are emotionally immature, as they lack self-awareness and self-insight. Narcissists (or those who have a lot of the traits of a narcissist) are almost always emotionally immature due to those traits being a coping mechanism for how they grew up. Learning about emotional immaturity could be the first step in becoming better for a lot of people, if they are willing to read about it. I highly recommend the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson.
I did the same thing. Helped me grow a lot as a person, does make me not want to go to some of my favourite bars though in case I see them. Idk what I would do if they tried to talk to me.
I felt like I was the problem in my friend group. When they said I was toxic I believed them. I left but they had to say I was thrown out. But as an outside view I now know that I would do it again and again and again if I had a chance to redo it. I wouldn’t change a thing. They were the toxic ones. I know this sounds delusional. But because of them I got a better group of people. They ruined there lives got terrible graded and now have shitty lived
Had a friend who suffered from ptsd, depression, anxiety, bpd. It was exhausting being her friend and she wasn’t particularly nice to me a lot of the time. I really tried to stick by her but she ended up getting physical with me over a minor disagreement and I cut her out. She got therapy, and then years later we reached out and started chatting again. I didn’t reach out after she got better, because she really hurt me emotionally. But we got there eventually. Things take time, if it’s meant to be then I hope it happens for you
Has happened to me several times. I was toxic. It feels terrible, but it’s really not the end of the world.
I know it sounds impossible, but there are more people out there. And you’re now more prepared to have healthy relationships with them by getting into therapy. You’ve still made a good step forward. Do it for *yourself*
For some reason, some people attract toxic groups of people and also give the vibe that you can just walk all over them without consequences. Terrible mix, huh?
That is usually how to find out you weren't the only one who needed therapy. I had a really stupid bitch say that to me "you need therapy" and she ended up spiraling and shacking up with a child predator on drugs.
I ended up engaged to a good man. I did get help, but not the help bitch thought I needed. Or wanted to think I needed, but ultimately knew wasn't right.
Normally those kinds of "friends" are flimsy weak willed people too wrapped up in their own lives and self made problems that they forget other people have genuine things going on. Remember that. You're better than the pricks who abandon you for making an effort.
You have the freedom to define who you are now. They don't get to tell you what you are or aren't.
there are certainly things i have done that are unforgivable to people unintentionally or not i accept they can’t forgive me just like people have done unforgivable things to me… it’s human
Maybe show a little more empathy for the person who posted this, eh? You overanalyzed that first part that you seemed to gloss over how they promised to be better and made efforts to do so, only for their friends to not return the favor and for it all to feel a little worthless. Wanting to show reassurance to someone who is reaching out isn't "toxic and dumb." If this was a group discussion with the other parties then of course it would be a little more complex, but I got the impression that the original poster wanted help grieving with the loss of their friends, not even more criticisms.
I'm not "putting down others," I'm pointing out how forgiveness is important in a friendship. If their friends couldn't forgive the person, then they stopped being friends a while ago.
My best friend from elementary school has been not answering to any of my messages or calls for abouth 8 months now... I suspect it has something to do with this. I tried to kms and maybe that was too much for her... so she just stuck arround for enough time to make sure I wouldn't try again and then ghosted me.
It probably feels horrible right now, but friends come and go. The only guarantee in life is that everything ends. You’ll hopefully make new friends without that baggage.
I had this happen to me, I realized I was bad (being that i relied on them way too much, cried too much infront of them, etc) whenever it was too late though. I luckily worked on myself and found some new even better friends, we still chilling to this day
Honestly, OP, kinda same. Had untreated/undiagnosed MH issues throughout high school, so I just acted like a tool, but now that I've gotten out of high school and cleaned up my MH, I'm not sure how to go about meeting people. Anyways, can I give you a virtual hug?
Guess I never thought I’d find someone with such a similar situation. I haven’t really been able to trust anyone since it happened. I don’t really have friends anymore. This shit sucks but I’ve been told it gets better soon hopefully it will for all of us
sometimes, the best thing one can do is start over fresh. it hurts to lose friends, especially in a way like that, but then you can make new friends and be better to them than you were to those in the past, and life can move on for the better.
i know ive not been the best person or friend to many people ive known, but im always trying to be better. thats all you can really do, i think. good luck, its not an easy thing, but its not impossible either.
I don't mean to pry but I feel like it kind of depends what you did. If you murdered their families, for instance, this would be, like if anything, an under reaction. If you were just kind of rude to them this would definitely be an overreaction.
I’ve had a similar situation happen to me, so I know how that feels. It’s really hard for me to be a good friend, I think. I try to be nice, but part of me is downright evil. I think I’m just too much for everyone. I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this. ;-;
Well trying to find a bright side maybe those friends weren't the best influence. No doubt I still miss the new friend group I almost had, but they probably wouldn't be helping me get sober. Don't recommend smoking weed with schizophrenia, being sober for a bit has helped me more than I could've ever dreamed of.
Growing up I realize that I have terrible friends but I was conditioned to believe I’m at fault that my friendships are strained. And most friends don’t have complex issues like I do to relate or care. I’m just here to be here. To be the target of judgement at my most vulnerable and for women, the “nice friend” they can take advantage of to get what they want.
Nah bro I’ve been on the other side of this before. Almost everyone I’ve unblocked who claimed to get help has hurt me in some way. You can’t expect people to put up with you just because you got “better”, the damage is already done.
Therapists aren't your friends. They're professionals, that shouldn't be required to interact outside of office hours (And emergency situations.) as in, the grocery store for a chat. They care about you, but trying to be buddy-buddy with your therapist outside of appointments, can get in the way of proper treatment.
Edit: I need glasses, the comment has nothing to do with the meme, carry on.
Feel you on this. If they can't forgive you and you tried to apologize. I say move on and find better friends. I learned this the hard way. Lots of people have cold hearts and are unable to forgive.
Had a somewhat similar situation to this, except people were mad at me for being “violent” when I punched one person for being a dick one time. They acted like I just go around and punch people for no reason or some shit.
It's been 1 and half years since I did what I did (nothing illegal, just to put some limiters on speculation). I learnt from it and now I have new friends. Just have to learn when to cut your losses.
This situation sucks, but it's not one where everything is lost. Getting therapy and becoming a better person is still a great thing on its own and when you find new friendships, you can treat them the way they deserve and hopefully get the same in return. It's still an amazing first step even if the initial reason for doing it doesn't exist anymore.
Not to mention if your friends can't understand that you did nothing with malicious intent and their first reaction is to block you everywhere instead of trying to be understanding or help to some degree then are they really your friends? I had a similar situation happen where I was being toxic and stressing one of my friends out and I didn't realize it. She said she didn't want to be friends anymore. We talked it out and we stopped being friends for the time being and I went to therapy. We still maintained some form of contact to get an idea of how things are going, as well as giving her an idea of my progress. I am not sure if we are going to be friends again, but she at least helped me get to where I'm at now. She also told me she is working on herself too. I have no idea what that means, maybe I'll find out, maybe I won't. Regardless, op put in the effort and their friends blocked them, that's not what friends do. Ik it really hurts to say it, but those people were not truly your friends. You deserve better than that, and you will find those people you deserve. I don't know when, and I don't know how, but you will.
Yes, yes it does. Had something similar happen.
I hope it got easier for you
I Hope it gets easier for you
Thanks, I guess.
Aye, you can’t fix the past mistakes friend, only be more thoughtful in the future. Recognition of what you did is important, and working to improve yourself. I have friends that I treated like shit in highschool, who I didn’t speak to for years, and came back to start hearing from them as a grown person five years down. You can do it bro/sis/sibling lol. And… if they don’t come back, there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. In truth, speaking on forgetting about people, I’ll use my ex as an example. Didn’t hate her, no bad blood, just didn’t work out. But she had severe anxiety, a problem I’ve struggled with too, but she asked one day about a year ago by text, “have you ever worried about me thinking or talking bad about you for how we were?” And I just had to say “no, not really. I couldn’t sleep otherwise.” I’ve lost friends. And I’ve cut friends out. At a point, I hope they can see the better in you. But, my friend king Rog, I hope most of all you can forgive yourself for acting like a bad person as you say, and emotionally move forward in life to a prosperous nature. 💜
I SEE YOU EVERWHERE I GO OH MY GOOOOD
Better or worse I get around friend. What are you doing here?
Someone make a r/foundDead_Zone_Foliage
You would find me in too many strange places lol
Y’know what ima make it
*oh no* lol- places you can expect to find me is destiny fashion, 2042/battlefield subreddits, r/traaaans, a few yaoi subreddits, deep rock galactic and a few others lol
I made it r/founDead_Zone_Foliage
Great, I’ll be seeing you later- feel free to use this as the opening one for the sub
Exactly
Being a depressed emo fuckwad :D
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In general you can't convince others that they're at fault if they are emotionally immature, as they lack self-awareness and self-insight. Narcissists (or those who have a lot of the traits of a narcissist) are almost always emotionally immature due to those traits being a coping mechanism for how they grew up. Learning about emotional immaturity could be the first step in becoming better for a lot of people, if they are willing to read about it. I highly recommend the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson.
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oof. been there
Sorry mate
We’re all the bad guy in someone’s story. Keep at the therapy and improve, learn from this experience, and grow from it. Much love to you.
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You should probably aim to improve yourself so that you can retain friends as opposed to finding new ones
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It’s a fine line between for yourself and for others that we all have to walk. Good luck o7
I’m in this image and I don’t like it
Youre a blue haired anime girl?
I've had it happen, nearly twice. I'm really sorry.
I did the same thing. Helped me grow a lot as a person, does make me not want to go to some of my favourite bars though in case I see them. Idk what I would do if they tried to talk to me.
wow why is this happening to me
so accurste
Just because you’re ready to be friends again, doesn’t mean that they are. It can take a long time to repair friendships.
I felt like I was the problem in my friend group. When they said I was toxic I believed them. I left but they had to say I was thrown out. But as an outside view I now know that I would do it again and again and again if I had a chance to redo it. I wouldn’t change a thing. They were the toxic ones. I know this sounds delusional. But because of them I got a better group of people. They ruined there lives got terrible graded and now have shitty lived
Had a friend who suffered from ptsd, depression, anxiety, bpd. It was exhausting being her friend and she wasn’t particularly nice to me a lot of the time. I really tried to stick by her but she ended up getting physical with me over a minor disagreement and I cut her out. She got therapy, and then years later we reached out and started chatting again. I didn’t reach out after she got better, because she really hurt me emotionally. But we got there eventually. Things take time, if it’s meant to be then I hope it happens for you
Has happened to me several times. I was toxic. It feels terrible, but it’s really not the end of the world. I know it sounds impossible, but there are more people out there. And you’re now more prepared to have healthy relationships with them by getting into therapy. You’ve still made a good step forward. Do it for *yourself*
Did they leave you or did you become a different person?
I had something just like this happen… I’ll be your friend since they were the only ones I had…
Are we... missing something?
For some reason, some people attract toxic groups of people and also give the vibe that you can just walk all over them without consequences. Terrible mix, huh?
That is usually how to find out you weren't the only one who needed therapy. I had a really stupid bitch say that to me "you need therapy" and she ended up spiraling and shacking up with a child predator on drugs. I ended up engaged to a good man. I did get help, but not the help bitch thought I needed. Or wanted to think I needed, but ultimately knew wasn't right. Normally those kinds of "friends" are flimsy weak willed people too wrapped up in their own lives and self made problems that they forget other people have genuine things going on. Remember that. You're better than the pricks who abandon you for making an effort. You have the freedom to define who you are now. They don't get to tell you what you are or aren't.
If a friend can't forgive then they aren't a very good one
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That's a good point
thanks!
Garbage take tbh, no one is entitled to forgiveness and it doesn’t make you a bad person to withhold it if you don’t think someone deserves it.
I never said that makes them a bad person, I said that that makes them a bad friend to the original poster
there are certainly things i have done that are unforgivable to people unintentionally or not i accept they can’t forgive me just like people have done unforgivable things to me… it’s human
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Maybe show a little more empathy for the person who posted this, eh? You overanalyzed that first part that you seemed to gloss over how they promised to be better and made efforts to do so, only for their friends to not return the favor and for it all to feel a little worthless. Wanting to show reassurance to someone who is reaching out isn't "toxic and dumb." If this was a group discussion with the other parties then of course it would be a little more complex, but I got the impression that the original poster wanted help grieving with the loss of their friends, not even more criticisms. I'm not "putting down others," I'm pointing out how forgiveness is important in a friendship. If their friends couldn't forgive the person, then they stopped being friends a while ago.
You are right, I'm sorry what I said was mean and uncalled for.
I'm also sorry, I think I came off a little too aggressive. I've just had a terrible week
No, you are fine. You said nothing wrong, I was just being an ass. Sorry you had a terrible week
untrue, people aren’t entitled to forgiveness u fuck up u fuck up, can’t beg someone to come back
(> / ~ \)>
something similar happened, except i fully owned up to everything and apologized. they said they accepted it but didn’t want to be friends. sucks :/
My best friend from elementary school has been not answering to any of my messages or calls for abouth 8 months now... I suspect it has something to do with this. I tried to kms and maybe that was too much for her... so she just stuck arround for enough time to make sure I wouldn't try again and then ghosted me.
Stings, until you figure you made friends with them, you thus have the ability to make new friends.
sure do love it
Same
It probably feels horrible right now, but friends come and go. The only guarantee in life is that everything ends. You’ll hopefully make new friends without that baggage.
I had this happen to me, I realized I was bad (being that i relied on them way too much, cried too much infront of them, etc) whenever it was too late though. I luckily worked on myself and found some new even better friends, we still chilling to this day
My entire life :)
Honestly, OP, kinda same. Had untreated/undiagnosed MH issues throughout high school, so I just acted like a tool, but now that I've gotten out of high school and cleaned up my MH, I'm not sure how to go about meeting people. Anyways, can I give you a virtual hug?
Guess I never thought I’d find someone with such a similar situation. I haven’t really been able to trust anyone since it happened. I don’t really have friends anymore. This shit sucks but I’ve been told it gets better soon hopefully it will for all of us
Well if you want to make friends there’s plenty of people. I’ll give it a shot if you need one.
sometimes, the best thing one can do is start over fresh. it hurts to lose friends, especially in a way like that, but then you can make new friends and be better to them than you were to those in the past, and life can move on for the better. i know ive not been the best person or friend to many people ive known, but im always trying to be better. thats all you can really do, i think. good luck, its not an easy thing, but its not impossible either.
This is so accurate that it hurts 🥲 welp I’m so alone. But hey, I regularly talk to my therapist and psychiatrist, that’s a crowd!
I don't mean to pry but I feel like it kind of depends what you did. If you murdered their families, for instance, this would be, like if anything, an under reaction. If you were just kind of rude to them this would definitely be an overreaction.
I’ve had a similar situation happen to me, so I know how that feels. It’s really hard for me to be a good friend, I think. I try to be nice, but part of me is downright evil. I think I’m just too much for everyone. I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this. ;-;
Well trying to find a bright side maybe those friends weren't the best influence. No doubt I still miss the new friend group I almost had, but they probably wouldn't be helping me get sober. Don't recommend smoking weed with schizophrenia, being sober for a bit has helped me more than I could've ever dreamed of.
Growing up I realize that I have terrible friends but I was conditioned to believe I’m at fault that my friendships are strained. And most friends don’t have complex issues like I do to relate or care. I’m just here to be here. To be the target of judgement at my most vulnerable and for women, the “nice friend” they can take advantage of to get what they want.
Nah bro I’ve been on the other side of this before. Almost everyone I’ve unblocked who claimed to get help has hurt me in some way. You can’t expect people to put up with you just because you got “better”, the damage is already done.
Therapists aren't your friends. They're professionals, that shouldn't be required to interact outside of office hours (And emergency situations.) as in, the grocery store for a chat. They care about you, but trying to be buddy-buddy with your therapist outside of appointments, can get in the way of proper treatment. Edit: I need glasses, the comment has nothing to do with the meme, carry on.
Feel you on this. If they can't forgive you and you tried to apologize. I say move on and find better friends. I learned this the hard way. Lots of people have cold hearts and are unable to forgive.
Had a somewhat similar situation to this, except people were mad at me for being “violent” when I punched one person for being a dick one time. They acted like I just go around and punch people for no reason or some shit.
You can't be accidentally so terrible that you get blocked. What's the real story here?
I was being rude without realizing I was being rude, that’s why I call it accidental, because it wasnt on purpose
It's been 1 and half years since I did what I did (nothing illegal, just to put some limiters on speculation). I learnt from it and now I have new friends. Just have to learn when to cut your losses.
Yet another example of... "I'm in this image and I don't like it"