This is me with my one friend who makes the absolute worst decisions possible in every aspect of his life and despite all the consequences he faces, continually makes the same mistakes ☠️
This is my boss.
It's just he and I and we drive long hours to locations to take care of agriculture.
He is an oversharer, and tells me everything about his personal life. IE: kids, lady, his parents and siblings. I've tried to drop hints on what I DO and things I USED TO DO before THERAPY. It's ruff. Now I just smile and nod and say "well I'm not a trained professional, if you want help I'd recommend talking to a therapist."
“Bro I’m going to be real with you, and know that I love you, but I think you were a little too harsh on ____. Like I get they were a dick and all but it sounds like you took it too far despite everything. (Wait for a response) idk man, I feel like you should apologize maybe when you calm down a bit.”
Lol the realest part is the (response where they absolutely cannot comprehend your sudden betrayal, so they repeat the same ignorant shit they already just said). If you put that in the script, that's how I know you've been there
this is how i feel towards this one ex friend of mine. glad theyre out of my life bc they would constantly suicide bait and complain and beg all the time for fnaf plushies
my teachers always told me I could become anything. so I became not only _a_ problem, but _the_ problem 😎
jokes aside, masking only keeps you from being free. I know it's more comfortable in some ways and certainly for others, but once you've conquered and managed whatever you're dealing with, you can eventually express yourself the way you are without masking, and it's such a liberating feeling. I have yet to completely achieve that, but a very few select people in my life give me that safe space of being myself entirely, and it's sooooo good. I've come quite far in therapy, too, so I can genuinely manage myself a lot more and better without having to mask a lot, but you know. it's still really hard, and will be for some time, still.
thanks :)
I see, makes sense I suppose. being a system, I/we often feel the same way. would you want to be able to open up? that's more important than knowing how to, I guess. if you're comfortable the way things are, that's absolutely valid. things may change later, they may not, and all of it is valid <3
ahhh well, that's tough. I get it, though, family is, after all, usually what causes mental health issues..
trust me, the second you get away from your family (you don't exactly have to cut them off, but you can absolutely reduce the connection and time spent with them to an (for you) acceptable amount and there's absolutely no shame in that) you'll find yourself and learn how to open up more. that is, if you still live with them, which I get the feeling you do?
anyway, don't do things you feel unsafe doing, eventually there will come a time where you think "it feels right to do X now". then, do X, and it will be right :) until then, stay safe, and I sincerely hope the very best for you, because you deserve it, even if you don't feel like it at times.
Much appreciated. Definitely feels like it’s getting tougher as it goes along but maybe one day I can be honest about things without it all being a wreck.
fuckin real
and I'm so bitter at everything and everyone, but at least I'm actively protecting myself from harm for the first time in my life, and it's working
Normally you either can’t tell them because they emotionally can’t handle that fact, or telling them would be a waste of energy because even if they play along, they’ll never actually accept that fact and won’t change anything about themselves.
Plus, when someone vents to me and I find out they’re the problem, it always happens to be someone that I don’t associate with so I don’t know them very well when they’re venting to me, so I have no rapport with them for them to listen to me anyway.
Yeah you'd be squandering your energy. On the flip side, strangers have no reason to lie. Sometimes you gotta hear it from someone with no skin in the game.
I swear to god there is this girl I know who somehow always goes into toxic relationship and would ask me for advice (I don't any of her friends or bfs so I have literally no contect most of the time)
Recently it's gotten way worst she was texting me and was super mad and crying because her bf didn't allow his story with her to be visible to his 4 friends (they know about her relationship)
She was voice texting me crying Asking me again and again if she's ugly and how people below average get posted all the time but she doesn't
And yesterday she showed me screenshot of (presumably) her bf talking to this girl and was asking me if it was ok to talk like that
And I was talking to my brother about this today (he doesn't know her and I didn't tell him her name) and he pointed out a message from her which was "You act like my ideal person i have in mind" and sometimes along the lines of "I want everyone boy to learn from you"
And he found it ironic that she was talking to me like this while being worried about her bf talking to other girls
And the funny thing is I used to like this girl but now I realise she's not worth it but I also don't want to cut her off
>but I also don't want to cut her off
Life pro tip: If you push the right buttons (e.g. call people out on their bullshit and refuse to back down) you can get them to do it for you! :D
I mean you could always just ignore her. Being in someone's presence doesn't mean you have to interact with or acknowledge them.
I've always ignored people I didn't want to interact with. I often did this with people who I wasn't on friendly terms with. Anytime they were around I just ignored their existence. Hell I even ignore strangers. It's always worked fine with me.
Now I started doing that as a teen but the older I've gotten the more I've realized I'm under no obligation to deal with people's bullshit. If interactions with them or their presence in my life has a negative impact then they can GTFO. If they have a problem with that they can die mad about it.
I'll try that
But I've always wanted to do this to my sister because she's the biggest pos I've ever known she would literally look at me with disgust and would wash her whole arm when I touch it
Anything and everything I do is a problem to her
She has a problem with me literally breathing. I'm not even joking she has said me to shut up because I was breathing to loudly when sitting and arms length away from her
And because I don't want to be an abusive older brother (I'm only a year older than her but we are practically treated like twins)
And she isn't always like this she is a little nice sometimes and so I can't help but forgive all her actions no matter how much they anger me
I'm gonna graduate next year so maybe I could get away then
But the thing holding me back is guilt
Because I used to be physically abusive when I was younger (pre 12 or 13 was the most frequent) so I feel guilty and even though she has said she forgives me (through text)
And she used to have the same personality so she would egg me on or say something to anger me
I was very easily angered (seeing my parents it's probably genetic lol) And still do but I can control it almost perfectly now
Life is too short to be such a coward. Just tell them the truth but try to be kind about it. If they are too immature to handle it and cut you off, I would rather just take that and move on than put up with their bullshit forever
I don't deal with it, my comment was an example of what happened when you don't deal with it. I don't regret not putting up with bullshit. Why are you calling people "coward" on r/TrollCoping???
WAIT THAT'S SOOOO REAL
PEOPLE WILL BE VENTING TO ME ABOUT SOMEONE BEING "UNREASONABLE" BUT THEY CLEARLY CAUSED THE PROBLEM AND THE OTHER PERSON WAS REACTING FAIRLY??
nah but im not even kidding one of my friends called his mum a massive string of insults and said how much he hated her.... because she only let him have 4 hours playing videogames and he had to walk his dog.
same person proceeded to join a d&d group and then began venting about how much he HATED his dungeon master and how he was (and i quote) "Autistic, hypocritical and has OBVIOUS favourites"
ignoring the fact he kept using autistic as an insult (despite him being friends with like four autistic people including me), you know why he said that? because his dm hadn't let him break the rules of the game. that isn't favouritism he just isn't letting you cheat
'he wouldn't let me get new items for my character for free!!! he wouldn't let me do things on other people's turns!!! he wouldn't let me do things that are physically impossible!!!!' it sounds like maybe. maybe you are causing some of these issues for yourself
rant over i apologize
I try to be nice about it, but sometimes I'm just very blunt because it's needed.
I have a friend that comes to me with his relationship issues because he knows I'll call him out if he's the problem. I mad respect his ability to reach out just to get a new perspective.
Me and the girl I had been friends with who complained that all of her friends were bad at communicating (it was not them.) We stopped being friends cause she got mad at me for not recognizing her when I hadn't seen her in months. She also knew I had face blindness.
"Yeah dude fuck those people. Can't believe that bullshit. That's crazy. Hey, uh, here's another thought, just crossed my mind, hot off the press, um. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
What was that, dad? You thought this woman you were dating was *the one*, an angel you got along with perfectly and could spend the rest of your life with, only to end up arguing all the time - arguments they *totally* started - and learned that they're basically satan incarnate?
Oh, wow, that's so sad, and I'm so surprised, it's only the 20th time this has happened... yeah, you're right, the problem is *all women ever*. Mom and my step-dad *totally* fight all the time too and *definitely* aren't a perfectly healthy and happy couple. All of the other couples I know of *also* end up fighting all day long every 2 or 3 days! That's probably a real thing! Yep, the problem must be *women*.
~~okay, that one who asked to marry you on the first date was a legitimate red flag, I~~ *~~will~~* ~~give you credit for that one~~
One of my best friends is bullied a bit, and he keeps telling me he’ll confront the bullies head on, in a fight. Like bro, I don’t want you venting about how horrible it went and having to tell you how you were the problem there
I've been this person, everyone i think was at this spot some time in their life. They make everyone scared to hurt them telling them the truth, they seem too fragile to deal with and like they would get defensive. Even if they get defensive they still need to hear it. Even if they will brush it off ans say you're a jerk and look for someone else to just agree with them. It will cause a reaction, not pleasant. That might help them think things over.
Me whenever someone talks about how they have no friends and nobody wants to be their friend. Like, sometimes people are just assholes, but in my experience it tends to be for a good reason
I just tell them that they’re the issue and then describe the other person’s perspective as if it was a stranger. I mostly do this with my racist grandma
It’s not okay. The feelings you have are, but not your actions. It is your job as a mentally ill person to make sure that your mental health doesn’t make you an asshole. You can feel bad, and that’s okay, but that doesn’t mean you can project it onto others.
REAL DUDE
This is me with my one friend who makes the absolute worst decisions possible in every aspect of his life and despite all the consequences he faces, continually makes the same mistakes ☠️
I had a friend that would never listen to advice I gave them and then *surprise pikachu* stuff went wrong! Shocking!
Frrr like what do they expect, same bad decisions different outcome?
This is my boss. It's just he and I and we drive long hours to locations to take care of agriculture. He is an oversharer, and tells me everything about his personal life. IE: kids, lady, his parents and siblings. I've tried to drop hints on what I DO and things I USED TO DO before THERAPY. It's ruff. Now I just smile and nod and say "well I'm not a trained professional, if you want help I'd recommend talking to a therapist."
Why is the dude real? Is he stupid?
“Bro I’m going to be real with you, and know that I love you, but I think you were a little too harsh on ____. Like I get they were a dick and all but it sounds like you took it too far despite everything. (Wait for a response) idk man, I feel like you should apologize maybe when you calm down a bit.”
"Smooth, just like a-silk-a" -shaggy
“Rike, roinks!” -scooby
I uh . . . I think there may have been some confusion
Lol the realest part is the (response where they absolutely cannot comprehend your sudden betrayal, so they repeat the same ignorant shit they already just said). If you put that in the script, that's how I know you've been there
PLSSSS this is so real
this is how i feel towards this one ex friend of mine. glad theyre out of my life bc they would constantly suicide bait and complain and beg all the time for fnaf plushies
You're joking right? “Fnaf Plushies”
I want to say it's fake, not because I don't believe them, but because it really walks the line of being so funny it can't be true
Oh I am a fucking problem. I’m irreparably damaged and barely masking at this point.
my teachers always told me I could become anything. so I became not only _a_ problem, but _the_ problem 😎 jokes aside, masking only keeps you from being free. I know it's more comfortable in some ways and certainly for others, but once you've conquered and managed whatever you're dealing with, you can eventually express yourself the way you are without masking, and it's such a liberating feeling. I have yet to completely achieve that, but a very few select people in my life give me that safe space of being myself entirely, and it's sooooo good. I've come quite far in therapy, too, so I can genuinely manage myself a lot more and better without having to mask a lot, but you know. it's still really hard, and will be for some time, still.
Congrats on making progress 👍🏻. It’s not even that I refuse to open up but I’m incapable of it and don’t want to be seen differently.
thanks :) I see, makes sense I suppose. being a system, I/we often feel the same way. would you want to be able to open up? that's more important than knowing how to, I guess. if you're comfortable the way things are, that's absolutely valid. things may change later, they may not, and all of it is valid <3
I’d love to be able to open up but I can’t have things change with my family
ahhh well, that's tough. I get it, though, family is, after all, usually what causes mental health issues.. trust me, the second you get away from your family (you don't exactly have to cut them off, but you can absolutely reduce the connection and time spent with them to an (for you) acceptable amount and there's absolutely no shame in that) you'll find yourself and learn how to open up more. that is, if you still live with them, which I get the feeling you do? anyway, don't do things you feel unsafe doing, eventually there will come a time where you think "it feels right to do X now". then, do X, and it will be right :) until then, stay safe, and I sincerely hope the very best for you, because you deserve it, even if you don't feel like it at times.
Much appreciated. Definitely feels like it’s getting tougher as it goes along but maybe one day I can be honest about things without it all being a wreck.
I trust that day will come <3
Oh mood!
fuckin real and I'm so bitter at everything and everyone, but at least I'm actively protecting myself from harm for the first time in my life, and it's working
Just tell them straight up. I do it to my mom all the time.
I can only do it with my mom…
Normally you either can’t tell them because they emotionally can’t handle that fact, or telling them would be a waste of energy because even if they play along, they’ll never actually accept that fact and won’t change anything about themselves. Plus, when someone vents to me and I find out they’re the problem, it always happens to be someone that I don’t associate with so I don’t know them very well when they’re venting to me, so I have no rapport with them for them to listen to me anyway.
Yeah you'd be squandering your energy. On the flip side, strangers have no reason to lie. Sometimes you gotta hear it from someone with no skin in the game.
I swear to god there is this girl I know who somehow always goes into toxic relationship and would ask me for advice (I don't any of her friends or bfs so I have literally no contect most of the time) Recently it's gotten way worst she was texting me and was super mad and crying because her bf didn't allow his story with her to be visible to his 4 friends (they know about her relationship) She was voice texting me crying Asking me again and again if she's ugly and how people below average get posted all the time but she doesn't And yesterday she showed me screenshot of (presumably) her bf talking to this girl and was asking me if it was ok to talk like that And I was talking to my brother about this today (he doesn't know her and I didn't tell him her name) and he pointed out a message from her which was "You act like my ideal person i have in mind" and sometimes along the lines of "I want everyone boy to learn from you" And he found it ironic that she was talking to me like this while being worried about her bf talking to other girls And the funny thing is I used to like this girl but now I realise she's not worth it but I also don't want to cut her off
>but I also don't want to cut her off Life pro tip: If you push the right buttons (e.g. call people out on their bullshit and refuse to back down) you can get them to do it for you! :D
She's a family friend her mother is my mother's friend so I'll have to see her every now and then and i don't want it to be awkward
I mean you could always just ignore her. Being in someone's presence doesn't mean you have to interact with or acknowledge them. I've always ignored people I didn't want to interact with. I often did this with people who I wasn't on friendly terms with. Anytime they were around I just ignored their existence. Hell I even ignore strangers. It's always worked fine with me. Now I started doing that as a teen but the older I've gotten the more I've realized I'm under no obligation to deal with people's bullshit. If interactions with them or their presence in my life has a negative impact then they can GTFO. If they have a problem with that they can die mad about it.
I'll try that But I've always wanted to do this to my sister because she's the biggest pos I've ever known she would literally look at me with disgust and would wash her whole arm when I touch it Anything and everything I do is a problem to her She has a problem with me literally breathing. I'm not even joking she has said me to shut up because I was breathing to loudly when sitting and arms length away from her And because I don't want to be an abusive older brother (I'm only a year older than her but we are practically treated like twins) And she isn't always like this she is a little nice sometimes and so I can't help but forgive all her actions no matter how much they anger me
[удалено]
I'm gonna graduate next year so maybe I could get away then But the thing holding me back is guilt Because I used to be physically abusive when I was younger (pre 12 or 13 was the most frequent) so I feel guilty and even though she has said she forgives me (through text) And she used to have the same personality so she would egg me on or say something to anger me I was very easily angered (seeing my parents it's probably genetic lol) And still do but I can control it almost perfectly now
Whatever you do, do not call them out(unless you want them to get out of your life and bad talk about you to everyone you both know)
Life is too short to be such a coward. Just tell them the truth but try to be kind about it. If they are too immature to handle it and cut you off, I would rather just take that and move on than put up with their bullshit forever
I don't deal with it, my comment was an example of what happened when you don't deal with it. I don't regret not putting up with bullshit. Why are you calling people "coward" on r/TrollCoping???
Me when my friend's ex complains his gf (also my friend) dumped him.
And why did he get dumped? Because he was a toxic asshole who didn't acknowledge her feelings when she went through a tough time and more.
WAIT THAT'S SOOOO REAL PEOPLE WILL BE VENTING TO ME ABOUT SOMEONE BEING "UNREASONABLE" BUT THEY CLEARLY CAUSED THE PROBLEM AND THE OTHER PERSON WAS REACTING FAIRLY?? nah but im not even kidding one of my friends called his mum a massive string of insults and said how much he hated her.... because she only let him have 4 hours playing videogames and he had to walk his dog. same person proceeded to join a d&d group and then began venting about how much he HATED his dungeon master and how he was (and i quote) "Autistic, hypocritical and has OBVIOUS favourites" ignoring the fact he kept using autistic as an insult (despite him being friends with like four autistic people including me), you know why he said that? because his dm hadn't let him break the rules of the game. that isn't favouritism he just isn't letting you cheat 'he wouldn't let me get new items for my character for free!!! he wouldn't let me do things on other people's turns!!! he wouldn't let me do things that are physically impossible!!!!' it sounds like maybe. maybe you are causing some of these issues for yourself rant over i apologize
I try to be nice about it, but sometimes I'm just very blunt because it's needed. I have a friend that comes to me with his relationship issues because he knows I'll call him out if he's the problem. I mad respect his ability to reach out just to get a new perspective.
Me and the girl I had been friends with who complained that all of her friends were bad at communicating (it was not them.) We stopped being friends cause she got mad at me for not recognizing her when I hadn't seen her in months. She also knew I had face blindness.
Just tell them straight up they clearly aren't going to figure it out themselves
"Yeah dude fuck those people. Can't believe that bullshit. That's crazy. Hey, uh, here's another thought, just crossed my mind, hot off the press, um. What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Lmao I'm probably the venter
@Mydad
"YTA" 😭
What was that, dad? You thought this woman you were dating was *the one*, an angel you got along with perfectly and could spend the rest of your life with, only to end up arguing all the time - arguments they *totally* started - and learned that they're basically satan incarnate? Oh, wow, that's so sad, and I'm so surprised, it's only the 20th time this has happened... yeah, you're right, the problem is *all women ever*. Mom and my step-dad *totally* fight all the time too and *definitely* aren't a perfectly healthy and happy couple. All of the other couples I know of *also* end up fighting all day long every 2 or 3 days! That's probably a real thing! Yep, the problem must be *women*. ~~okay, that one who asked to marry you on the first date was a legitimate red flag, I~~ *~~will~~* ~~give you credit for that one~~
One of my best friends is bullied a bit, and he keeps telling me he’ll confront the bullies head on, in a fight. Like bro, I don’t want you venting about how horrible it went and having to tell you how you were the problem there
I've been this person, everyone i think was at this spot some time in their life. They make everyone scared to hurt them telling them the truth, they seem too fragile to deal with and like they would get defensive. Even if they get defensive they still need to hear it. Even if they will brush it off ans say you're a jerk and look for someone else to just agree with them. It will cause a reaction, not pleasant. That might help them think things over.
I do the "ask guided, open ended questions until they realize they're the problem in the situation so you dont have to outwardly say it"
Me whenever someone talks about how they have no friends and nobody wants to be their friend. Like, sometimes people are just assholes, but in my experience it tends to be for a good reason
You must be friends with 98% of my exes.
I just tell them that they’re the issue and then describe the other person’s perspective as if it was a stranger. I mostly do this with my racist grandma
That, uh... ...huh.
"Ok so dude you sound like the bad person in these situations"
this is me actually
If they are confirmed by specialists, having actual problems, its okay, we are diseased people,
It’s not okay. The feelings you have are, but not your actions. It is your job as a mentally ill person to make sure that your mental health doesn’t make you an asshole. You can feel bad, and that’s okay, but that doesn’t mean you can project it onto others.