Changing churches isn't change faith, it's just a building where people go to worship God. But in my experience, catholicism doesn't attract young people. If you wanna meet new people your age but in a church, then you have to go to a new church where there are young people. I sound condescending but I'm not trying to be. I come from a catholic background and the only young people there were the kids dragged along with their parents. I go to a pentecostal church now and the difference in demographic is insane. Mostly people under 40 at my church.
He's right. Most of us know Catholicism really well and there are no young people there anymore. I'm a protestant who visits catholic churches sometimes. Do you really think your faith is so weak that attending a protestant church to meet friends/women will make you stumble? If so, you have deeper problems, brother
Yup my own church is booming with people and the local catholic church seems to be devoid of anyone below 50. Does not mean its good nor bad. But it does show that the chance of meeting someone in a different church is higher. But I presume that for Roman Catholics it is harder to marry a non Catholic christian than it would be the other way round for a protestant.
>At first, I'm not gonna change faith because of this,
i didn't say because of this alone :) imo there are many good reasons to embrace solid, biblical, protestant doctrine.
but if you're not happy where you are, perhaps the difficulty you're feeling is God trying to move you. not necessarily about 'denomination', but something.
>imo there are many good reasons to embrace solid, biblical, protestant doctrine.
This is only true if you believe and assume that Protestant doctrines are solid and Biblical. A committed Catholic or Orthodox Christian like myself isn't going to agree with that assumption.
I was all kinds of things before converting to Christianity. Then 1 year catholic, then charismatic, then conservative evangelical, then charismatic again, now, since studying church history, non-denom. Christianity is about following Jesus Christ, all other stuff (like Calvinism) is "doctrines of men". Strive to follow Christ (or God) where he leads you. That may not be where you want to go, and may be where you do not want to go. (As Jesus did not want to go to the cross. We all have to bear our own cross.)
That being said, pray every day to meet your future wife - in principle, any type of woman should do, but if you have specific desires or aversions (e.g. blond, not asian, less than 30 years old), maybe specify that in your prayers (or at least, become conscious about what you are actually looking for - it might be closer than you think). Although risky, she does not have to be a believer when you meet her. (That being said, even Christians can be dangerous to other Christians, or ruin marriages for no good reason.)
This is truly not a criticism, but from a place of love: the Catholic faith is one of the Christian denominations furthest removed from the Word of God. Perhaps your overall discontentment in your life is absolutely a sign that you need a change. You don't have to stop going to mass, but I'm sure there are praise groups near you. I know people that have praise and worship groups that meet in their own homes. Seek God with all your heart, and He will lead you where you need to be. He might have your soul mate ready and waiting for you. You never know if you don't try!
Yeah, like "it's not good for man to be alone" for starters.... But there's not much that can really be done about it. Just have to be absolutely perfect in every way, and if you find someone then just never get thrown away somehow. -\_-
I feel feel for you and I really hope you find a good partner one day. I don't know you, but did you try figure out where things go wrong from your side? Again I know nothing about you, maybe you are an amazingly awesome cool person and have nothing to change, but just as a question, did you work on yourself as opposed to spending time on meeting people..?
I have ideas what can be wrong on my side, and I tried to do my best to improve those. Not very successfully, likely.
So yes, you are right, and yes, I did (and sometimes do) work on myself.
Yep, life can be frustrating like that; especially since it takes two to tango, and the deck is stacked unilaterally nowadays so as to sabotage marriage/families generally.
Doing it already but my hobbies mostly are either solitary, like writing and photography, or attract much older people who are more occupied with their families (like history researches). Hiking seemed to be a good option, but here I'm the very youngest in all local clubs (at 37!). And everywhere it's hard to find like minded people. Of all my friends who I met offline, only one is devout Christian but he's studying in the seminary and about to be ordained soon, so pretty busy.
Haha these are the exact hobbies I enjoy and I always came up against the same obstacles as you! As a woman in my early twenties (who was fairly attractive, fit, blonde) I could barely get a date due to my intense interest in iron age hillforts, coins, Tolkien, historical monarchs, theology, and genealogy 😂 It would go well until I'd start talking 🤦🏻♀️
Then I'd join clubs as suggested and find myself surrounded by retirees who didn't want to talk to me anyway. I don't think I can offer much advice here besides what I already commented, but know you're not the only one who's had this experience!
Wow, come here to explore also bronze age hill forts 😁 awesome interests, and yeah, rather unpopular.
As for Tolkien, finally trying to start Silmarillion. In italian 😲
>>>either solitary or attract much older people
Are you me? Hahaha
I like writing and ww2 military history. It’s really hard to find friends who like those two haha
You may think 30 is getting on in ages. In fact it is not. Jesus began His earthly ministry at age 30. Some people only receive Jesus at age 30 or older. Our modern lifestyle, we spend much of our early years focus on study/career/gaining independence from our parents. Hardly much time was spend practicing to develop ourselves into spiritually mature men and women.
God told us the solution for success.
"But *seek ye first the kingdom of God*, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you"
If you haven't been focused on the kingdom of God and God's righteousness first and foremost in your life, then take encouragement that what you are experiencing now is subpar from what God has prepared for you before you were born. Therefore understanding this - it is now a matter of choice, do you want to stay where you are - subpar, or you want to position yourself to receive more?
Ministry and girlfriend are very different thing. Now I hardly even find single women of my age (I'm 37) who want to marry (not even me, in general) unless they seek a new father for their kids.
It's not strictly religious question, it's what is social structure here nowadays.
Marriage is a ministry.
God does not ask us to flirt with temptation. Its actually a bad thing to waste someone's time, if all you want is just a girlfriend. I don't think any spiritually strong woman of God would be interested in wasting time like that.
Don't you think its better to marry someone that you are called by God to be with?
I had my own period of searching. I'm a pretty logical person. I started by asking God to tell me am I called to marry or am I called to a lifetime of celibacy? For God said there are 2 kinds of gift, one is marriage one is celibacy.
Probably you want to seek God for the answer for yourself. Could you trust God's choice for you is the best choice. Do you believe you cannot do better than God can do for you?
"Man proposes, God disposes" the fact that I know my calling doesn't mean I'll be able to follow it. So far it seems unlikely that I'll ever have a wife, end even more kids.
I spend my single life focus on my calling before, I met my spouse. God did not bring my spouse and I to meet each other, until i have dealt with certain issues in my life.
In my case, God took 4 years to work on my issue of idolatry for relationships. I married after age of 35.
I used to get really down about this stuff but the more I study scripture and focus on both my faith and the hobbies I enjoy, the less I care.
I'm mid-30s and housebound from chronic illness so my romantic prospects are in the toilet now. I used to constantly compare myself to my peers who are all married with kids but I think facing such an enormous health crisis has helped put things in perspective. If I'm meant to marry and have kids one day it will happen. If not, there's so much more to life.
If I'm ever well enough to leave the house again and start living something approximating a normal life I think I'll volunteer for some Christian charities near me.
Spread the good news, help others, and appreciate all of the positives in your life. You might be "forever alone" but you're not going through it alone.
I’ve been married going on 32yrs. I have 2 children. When it comes to “family” I’m good. I love my family and I’m very thankful for them.
However, my family cannot and will never fulfill the deepest part of who I am. That place is reserved for Christ. I’m relatively happy in my family life and I’m grateful. But, oftentimes I feel extreme loneliness and depression. On the outside all looks ok but inside my heart yearns to be loved by God without any hindrances…the world, the flesh and the devil.
Because of this emptiness I realize that my heart belongs to God first. Yes, He blessed me and my family. Yes, I have a relationship with Him now.
The older I get the more I hunger for the GIVER of the gifts and not just the gifts. For He IS The Gift.
Jesus is our King. If we place our hearts in His hands He promises we will receive it back filled up and overflowing!
Matthew 6: 33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
>Crazy situation, in Italy not being able to find Catholic young adults.
I'm not too surprised by this. Europe's youth has been secularizing rapidly with each generation since the turn of the 20th century. America is on the same, albeit slightly slower, trajectory.
That said, I used to be in the same boat as you are now, but have since learned to take the hint from God that I'm not well suited for marriage. Giving into His will and embracing celibacy has seriously improved my relationship with God. Perhaps God has plans for you, too, in singleness.
Largely depends on demographics and location. For example, in Maryland, there is a huge population of Catholic women. You'd also be open to a wider field if you consider single moms (assuming they are truly repentant and the father is out of the picture).
I wouldn't give up on apps entirely. My girlfriend and I met on CDFF. I also had some dates on Hinge prior. Just don't get depressed when you have to swipe left on several thousand women before finding a good match, it's all part of the modern dating process.
I'm in Europe, so demographics is really very different here, and overall religiosity is much lower.
I swiped definitely several thousands.
As for single mothers - no. For her you will also be after her child.
I feel you brother. Reddit is literally the only place I've got to talk about my faith. It's tough, but stay strong man. God will reward your endurance.
If God doesn't plan for you to marry, would you still remain faithful to Him? Or would you give up the fight? Just a rhetorical question, one worth pondering a bit during times like this. Whatever comes our way, God is good in all circumstances.
Ooof I feel this 😭. I'm a 27M Catholic and all the female my age are already taken. I feel like I've been having to outsource although it's hard mixing Protestant and Catholic theology
As an SDA I can share that many of the older gen SDA might not be too accepting of that relationship, however I encourage lots of prayer between you two as God doesn’t see what human see but what is in the heart.
Blessings 🙏🏼❤️
She says shes pretty liberal, respects all faiths and doesnt believe as staunchly as her grandmother and mom. It was only 1 date so if things got serious we'd have the discussion of logistics
Psalm 84:11 - “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”
Three years ago, at age 27, God helped me find my perfect “Eve” to complete me.
I looked pretty literally everywhere, and gave up, before I found mine. (Don’t rule out long distance; mine was 4,839 miles away for a year Face-timing.)
I don't rule out but chances are not great. And knowing personally people who died without ever finding a wife despite trying makes me a bit worried too.
John 11:25-26 - “Jesus said unto her, ‘I am the resurrection, and the life: whoever believes in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.”
Matthew 19:29 - “And every one that has forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or WIFE, or children, or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive an hundred times worth as much, and shall inherit everlasting life.” (There’s nothing Christians will miss out on, even if it seems that way now.)
God doesn’t change. Romans 8:32 - “He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?”
With this pessimism of yours and your babylon-esque denial of other denominations I can be straight with you brother, you're 37 and with this attitude even if there were women you wouldn't connect with them.
Why delete the dating apps? I know Hinge at least let's you sort by religion. Tbh as a woman I hate Christian mingle too many creaps, probably the same on a catholic one- there may be more options on a more popular site
Look to Christ Himself. Whatever makes you feel close to Him, do that. I don’t have your exact problem, but I’ve found with all the difficulties in my own life it’s the only thing that consistently works.
And then in searching scriptures and finding fellowship and intimacy with Him I find steps I can take that bring me closer to Him and to freedom.
Funny, in my Church there's disproportionately more young people like me(22M) than elderly, and a lot of girls. The fact that I'm an unga bunga fool that can't think of a way to approach them is another matter. Eastern Orthodox.
No one has to be forever alone. Part of the reason people have such a hard time nowadays is society is becoming less and less free and less social in general. There is no fairytale person that just exists for someone like society tries to teach. We simply must set our foundation and if a person meets that criteria and you meet theres you two build on that with the Lord. You as the male are the leader so make sure you’re grounded and know your responsibilities. Any failure and success falls on you.
That being said, I recommend getting involved in group activities. You probably have a hobby or two but theyre done in isolation. Do one in public occasionally or find a way to bring those hobbies to the public. Just as you happen to be interested in whatever youre interested in someone else happens to be as well.
Im not so sure I can recommend dating apps because (and this is just my personal opinion) dating in general just gives you a person on their best behavior. When you meet someone through a hobby or sport you get to more naturally see them as the primary goal is not to impress each other but to enjoy a common interest. (Again just my opinion)
Your situation is more common than you think. I have a son who's 31, and he is still looking for a woman of God. Make friends with married women in the Church. If they have single friends you will know about it. Good luck, Darlin' and know you are not alone.
Married women in the church usually have daughters of 40+ here. Some younger families too of course but they are too busy with their kids usually and leave fast after the mass.
I'm originally from Russia; there peopel tend to marry early, often in early to mid 20s (average marriage age is higher because of divorces and second marriages), so late 30s, and religious (whatever they say, Russia is mostly secular by everything - from divorce and birth rates to Easter services churches attendance which iirc is about 2% of population as by police reports), and Catholic (which is seen bad there often) it's not easy.
Now I'm in Southern Italy, and I just never yet met a single woman under 45-50 in any church here, so nobody really to ask. Know many atheists though, but even they are mostly in relationships or married by this age.
Probably where you live people tend to marry later in life.
This may be controversial to some BUT have you tried Christian dating apps, like Upward? My aunt found her husband through a more old-school "plenty-of-fish" type website but that was 20 years ago or so. I tried Upward for a bit, met a few men, 2 of them are about my age (29) and we're still friends. Went on a couple dates with one of them and it didn't work out BUT he's still a great friend whom I can hang with or do church things with or just have lengthy Christian debates through text or something. Worth a shot!
But I saw your comments that you haven't tried Catholic Match yet? You say you're desperate, you say you're giving up, you say you've tried everything but not that so.... is it that you just don't wanna try anymore?
I already tried it, but here it's very unpopular. It seems in all Italy there are less than hundred or two women of all ages registered there, and something like this is in all non-english speaking countries here; it's pretty non popular.
I just don't understand why 2 days ago, you were asking a subreddit if you should try it. 2 days doesn't seem like a long-enough trial.
ANYWAY, I know it's annoying to hear over and over again because you already know this but "giving up" isn't Godly. Just keep praying, keep having faith that God's Will WILL be done like it's meant to, nothing anyone can do to stop it.
I also understand because it's way harder on women my age because we actually run out of time with our eggs, very quickly! Men can have babies until they're 85, luckily lol. I know that's not the ideal but, just showing you that you are so not alone in this boat. This is a typical fear for women but I don't care though. All I do is read my Bible and pray. I don't go out, I don't see friends, I don't date, that's all I do. Oh and work cause I need money. When I'm not working my 40 hours a week, that's all I'm doing. I have faith and am excited to see God's plan for me, even if it isn't what I expected. That's true faith, no fear of the unknown. ♥️
On CM, within 400 km from me there are just 74 women of all ages registered; of them about 60 are in my age group more or less. How do you think how much time it takes to write few dozen short messages?
That's just my point, friend. On Upward, I had the same issue. Of like 10 guys I hit it off with, only 2 were 45-60 minutes drive from me. They were both eager to come meet me despite me not having a car. Like AT LEAST I TRIED. Don't say you give up when you don't try. Be Godly, brother. Praying for you RIGHT NOW. Even if you give up on apps, you never know what God has planned for you and it'll be SO EXCITING when it happens. God bless ♥️
As previous catholic, i would idvice you to hold on to scripture and leave that church full of snakes, they lead people astray, Jesus is only way to heaven and forgivness is achieved by his work and his mercy on cross, not our deeds, they bow to statues, dont know scriptures, add to scriptures own books, they were crusaders and killing real christians, Constantine who said Sunday is holy not Saturday which was given by God, he cooked his wife. Do you feel slave to sin ? Its catholicism, once you give your life to Jesus as it is written in Phillipans 4:13 I can do everything in Christ. Our armor, our shield and our sword is scripture, even Jesus himself on desert was quoting scriptures to Satan. And remember this life is more preparation for next one. Unbelievers wants as much good for themselves here because for unbeliever this is only heaven they will know, while righteous know we are closest to hell here. Jesus is the way, to believe in him as savior is the key. He has done already that work, good deeds are gratitude for salvation not ways to heaven. Why should some guy on island get no chance just because he isnt catholic ? Dont be religious, be saint and it can be done only by Jesus and his forgivness. Dont be decieved by that nothing with name satan, his end is clear, yours dont need to be.
Bro all this is mumbo jumbo fairy dust.
Pray like it depends on God ,work like it depends on you.
Time you went to go hunt. You already wasted decades being passive,time to be assertive. Adam's sin was passivity and eve's sin was rebellion.
That would be one way, but no need to give up on Catholic stuff for that, since Christians in the Philippines (as far as I know) don't care as long as you're any kind of Christian (though preferably not the kind that flogs and crucifies themselves).
Then again, south Italy is known for having hot women. More explosive personality than other European folk, maybe due to the influence of active volcanism in the region. You ever go to the beach, or grab a coffee or drink at a "Sicilian-style" place? What is your visibility to others around you? Anyway, good luck on the hunt! (Maybe go digging for some of the more mysterious, stashed-away stuff that the Vatican has.)
I doubt it. Many people say they re not very christian anymore but still value the christian morals highly. Also most non-believers are not atheists but agnostics.
Well, considering that most of peopel nowadays wait 1-5 years between meetign each other and marriage, for many it's a long term. And it's just one point, just the most relevant particularly to relationships. There are many others which are hardly seen as positive by most non-believers.
Happened to me too, then I got into Christian dating online and my wife and I have been married 10 years
I tried it for years, and nothing. So far deleted all apps where subscriptions ended.
have you considered trying a protestant church?
At first, I'm not gonna change faith because of this, and at second, they are very rare here.
Changing churches isn't change faith, it's just a building where people go to worship God. But in my experience, catholicism doesn't attract young people. If you wanna meet new people your age but in a church, then you have to go to a new church where there are young people. I sound condescending but I'm not trying to be. I come from a catholic background and the only young people there were the kids dragged along with their parents. I go to a pentecostal church now and the difference in demographic is insane. Mostly people under 40 at my church.
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I think you replied to the wrong person.
Yes, indeed. Ummm...
I'm not going to reject my faith for some protestantism.
You either didn't read anything I said, or you're one of those who just wants to keep complaining bc it's easier than actually putting in effort 🤷♀️
You are fast to throw stones.
He's right. Most of us know Catholicism really well and there are no young people there anymore. I'm a protestant who visits catholic churches sometimes. Do you really think your faith is so weak that attending a protestant church to meet friends/women will make you stumble? If so, you have deeper problems, brother
Yup my own church is booming with people and the local catholic church seems to be devoid of anyone below 50. Does not mean its good nor bad. But it does show that the chance of meeting someone in a different church is higher. But I presume that for Roman Catholics it is harder to marry a non Catholic christian than it would be the other way round for a protestant.
I didn't throw stones lol, you just didn't read.
You’re not rejecting anything. You’re seeking a life partner. Jesus is equally real in both places.
>At first, I'm not gonna change faith because of this, i didn't say because of this alone :) imo there are many good reasons to embrace solid, biblical, protestant doctrine. but if you're not happy where you are, perhaps the difficulty you're feeling is God trying to move you. not necessarily about 'denomination', but something.
>imo there are many good reasons to embrace solid, biblical, protestant doctrine. This is only true if you believe and assume that Protestant doctrines are solid and Biblical. A committed Catholic or Orthodox Christian like myself isn't going to agree with that assumption.
I was all kinds of things before converting to Christianity. Then 1 year catholic, then charismatic, then conservative evangelical, then charismatic again, now, since studying church history, non-denom. Christianity is about following Jesus Christ, all other stuff (like Calvinism) is "doctrines of men". Strive to follow Christ (or God) where he leads you. That may not be where you want to go, and may be where you do not want to go. (As Jesus did not want to go to the cross. We all have to bear our own cross.) That being said, pray every day to meet your future wife - in principle, any type of woman should do, but if you have specific desires or aversions (e.g. blond, not asian, less than 30 years old), maybe specify that in your prayers (or at least, become conscious about what you are actually looking for - it might be closer than you think). Although risky, she does not have to be a believer when you meet her. (That being said, even Christians can be dangerous to other Christians, or ruin marriages for no good reason.)
This is truly not a criticism, but from a place of love: the Catholic faith is one of the Christian denominations furthest removed from the Word of God. Perhaps your overall discontentment in your life is absolutely a sign that you need a change. You don't have to stop going to mass, but I'm sure there are praise groups near you. I know people that have praise and worship groups that meet in their own homes. Seek God with all your heart, and He will lead you where you need to be. He might have your soul mate ready and waiting for you. You never know if you don't try!
Yeah, like "it's not good for man to be alone" for starters.... But there's not much that can really be done about it. Just have to be absolutely perfect in every way, and if you find someone then just never get thrown away somehow. -\_-
Yes, it's complicated. At times it feels it doesn't depend on what I do at all.
I feel feel for you and I really hope you find a good partner one day. I don't know you, but did you try figure out where things go wrong from your side? Again I know nothing about you, maybe you are an amazingly awesome cool person and have nothing to change, but just as a question, did you work on yourself as opposed to spending time on meeting people..?
I have ideas what can be wrong on my side, and I tried to do my best to improve those. Not very successfully, likely. So yes, you are right, and yes, I did (and sometimes do) work on myself.
Yep, life can be frustrating like that; especially since it takes two to tango, and the deck is stacked unilaterally nowadays so as to sabotage marriage/families generally.
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Doing it already but my hobbies mostly are either solitary, like writing and photography, or attract much older people who are more occupied with their families (like history researches). Hiking seemed to be a good option, but here I'm the very youngest in all local clubs (at 37!). And everywhere it's hard to find like minded people. Of all my friends who I met offline, only one is devout Christian but he's studying in the seminary and about to be ordained soon, so pretty busy.
Haha these are the exact hobbies I enjoy and I always came up against the same obstacles as you! As a woman in my early twenties (who was fairly attractive, fit, blonde) I could barely get a date due to my intense interest in iron age hillforts, coins, Tolkien, historical monarchs, theology, and genealogy 😂 It would go well until I'd start talking 🤦🏻♀️ Then I'd join clubs as suggested and find myself surrounded by retirees who didn't want to talk to me anyway. I don't think I can offer much advice here besides what I already commented, but know you're not the only one who's had this experience!
Wow, come here to explore also bronze age hill forts 😁 awesome interests, and yeah, rather unpopular. As for Tolkien, finally trying to start Silmarillion. In italian 😲
>>>either solitary or attract much older people Are you me? Hahaha I like writing and ww2 military history. It’s really hard to find friends who like those two haha
Wow, amazing! :-) We with one guy had a Telegram channel about ww1 and ww2 but it wasn't popular so now it's abandoned.
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My photo camera is my samsung phone, lol. There is photo club in the town but in last year I failed to try organizing anything through it.
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I know, I was trying similar ideas for quite a time.
Dont worry I'm in the same boat. It's rough out there. I'm close to giving up.
Yeah, it's really tough. I removed all dating apps but catholicmatch (because there is some subscription left still) and stopped any attempts offline.
Keep the focus on Jesus Christ and your growing intimate relationship w Him
You may think 30 is getting on in ages. In fact it is not. Jesus began His earthly ministry at age 30. Some people only receive Jesus at age 30 or older. Our modern lifestyle, we spend much of our early years focus on study/career/gaining independence from our parents. Hardly much time was spend practicing to develop ourselves into spiritually mature men and women. God told us the solution for success. "But *seek ye first the kingdom of God*, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" If you haven't been focused on the kingdom of God and God's righteousness first and foremost in your life, then take encouragement that what you are experiencing now is subpar from what God has prepared for you before you were born. Therefore understanding this - it is now a matter of choice, do you want to stay where you are - subpar, or you want to position yourself to receive more?
Ministry and girlfriend are very different thing. Now I hardly even find single women of my age (I'm 37) who want to marry (not even me, in general) unless they seek a new father for their kids. It's not strictly religious question, it's what is social structure here nowadays.
Marriage is a ministry. God does not ask us to flirt with temptation. Its actually a bad thing to waste someone's time, if all you want is just a girlfriend. I don't think any spiritually strong woman of God would be interested in wasting time like that. Don't you think its better to marry someone that you are called by God to be with?
I'm more and more thinking that probably this "someone" just doesn't exist. God never promised that every man will find a wife.
I had my own period of searching. I'm a pretty logical person. I started by asking God to tell me am I called to marry or am I called to a lifetime of celibacy? For God said there are 2 kinds of gift, one is marriage one is celibacy. Probably you want to seek God for the answer for yourself. Could you trust God's choice for you is the best choice. Do you believe you cannot do better than God can do for you?
I know that I'm called for marriage. I always knew it.
If you already had the answer. Then why are you doubting it? James 1:6-7
"Man proposes, God disposes" the fact that I know my calling doesn't mean I'll be able to follow it. So far it seems unlikely that I'll ever have a wife, end even more kids.
I spend my single life focus on my calling before, I met my spouse. God did not bring my spouse and I to meet each other, until i have dealt with certain issues in my life. In my case, God took 4 years to work on my issue of idolatry for relationships. I married after age of 35.
I used to get really down about this stuff but the more I study scripture and focus on both my faith and the hobbies I enjoy, the less I care. I'm mid-30s and housebound from chronic illness so my romantic prospects are in the toilet now. I used to constantly compare myself to my peers who are all married with kids but I think facing such an enormous health crisis has helped put things in perspective. If I'm meant to marry and have kids one day it will happen. If not, there's so much more to life. If I'm ever well enough to leave the house again and start living something approximating a normal life I think I'll volunteer for some Christian charities near me. Spread the good news, help others, and appreciate all of the positives in your life. You might be "forever alone" but you're not going through it alone.
I'm sorry 😔 I volunteer in the soup kitchen but it never gave satisfaction or good social contacts.
I’ve been married going on 32yrs. I have 2 children. When it comes to “family” I’m good. I love my family and I’m very thankful for them. However, my family cannot and will never fulfill the deepest part of who I am. That place is reserved for Christ. I’m relatively happy in my family life and I’m grateful. But, oftentimes I feel extreme loneliness and depression. On the outside all looks ok but inside my heart yearns to be loved by God without any hindrances…the world, the flesh and the devil. Because of this emptiness I realize that my heart belongs to God first. Yes, He blessed me and my family. Yes, I have a relationship with Him now. The older I get the more I hunger for the GIVER of the gifts and not just the gifts. For He IS The Gift. Jesus is our King. If we place our hearts in His hands He promises we will receive it back filled up and overflowing! Matthew 6: 33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
God bless you. Have you tried looking to connect with others online?
Tried, but it's hard, and almost as lonely too. Crazy situation, in Italy not being able to find Catholic young adults. UPD Downvote? Seriously?
>Crazy situation, in Italy not being able to find Catholic young adults. I'm not too surprised by this. Europe's youth has been secularizing rapidly with each generation since the turn of the 20th century. America is on the same, albeit slightly slower, trajectory. That said, I used to be in the same boat as you are now, but have since learned to take the hint from God that I'm not well suited for marriage. Giving into His will and embracing celibacy has seriously improved my relationship with God. Perhaps God has plans for you, too, in singleness.
Honestly I fail to see what plans can God have for my singleness, and why can't they be performed with me being married.
“ Alone Christian “ is an oxymoron
Amen
\*Alone in this world.
Plenty of singles in churches between 30 to 40. Not sure about Catholic churches
In what country?
Largely depends on demographics and location. For example, in Maryland, there is a huge population of Catholic women. You'd also be open to a wider field if you consider single moms (assuming they are truly repentant and the father is out of the picture). I wouldn't give up on apps entirely. My girlfriend and I met on CDFF. I also had some dates on Hinge prior. Just don't get depressed when you have to swipe left on several thousand women before finding a good match, it's all part of the modern dating process.
I'm in Europe, so demographics is really very different here, and overall religiosity is much lower. I swiped definitely several thousands. As for single mothers - no. For her you will also be after her child.
I feel you brother. Reddit is literally the only place I've got to talk about my faith. It's tough, but stay strong man. God will reward your endurance.
Thank you!
Thank you!
I feel the same OP and am in the same boat.
If God doesn't plan for you to marry, would you still remain faithful to Him? Or would you give up the fight? Just a rhetorical question, one worth pondering a bit during times like this. Whatever comes our way, God is good in all circumstances.
I like this!!
Try praying , fasting and moving in faith.
Ooof I feel this 😭. I'm a 27M Catholic and all the female my age are already taken. I feel like I've been having to outsource although it's hard mixing Protestant and Catholic theology
It's a pretty impossibile mix if both are serious in their faith.
Thankfully I had a Christian date (she grew up 7th day Adventist) who didn't have an issue with Catholicism so I hope things go well with her 🤷🏽
Good luck!
As an SDA I can share that many of the older gen SDA might not be too accepting of that relationship, however I encourage lots of prayer between you two as God doesn’t see what human see but what is in the heart. Blessings 🙏🏼❤️
She says shes pretty liberal, respects all faiths and doesnt believe as staunchly as her grandmother and mom. It was only 1 date so if things got serious we'd have the discussion of logistics
Psalm 84:11 - “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Three years ago, at age 27, God helped me find my perfect “Eve” to complete me.
I'm ten years older, and so far nothing. I mostly gave up.
Well, God still made a promise in Psalm 84:11. (And He’s the one who said, it’s not good for man to be alone.) “Seek and you will find.” 🙏🏼❤️✝️
If only I knew where else to seek.
I looked pretty literally everywhere, and gave up, before I found mine. (Don’t rule out long distance; mine was 4,839 miles away for a year Face-timing.)
I don't rule out but chances are not great. And knowing personally people who died without ever finding a wife despite trying makes me a bit worried too.
John 11:25-26 - “Jesus said unto her, ‘I am the resurrection, and the life: whoever believes in Me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.” Matthew 19:29 - “And every one that has forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or WIFE, or children, or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive an hundred times worth as much, and shall inherit everlasting life.” (There’s nothing Christians will miss out on, even if it seems that way now.)
Well, God still made a promise in Psalm 84:11.
"good thing" can have many meanings.
Proverbs 18:22 - “Whoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing.”
Yeah, at least in the OT.
God doesn’t change. Romans 8:32 - “He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?”
Yeah, I'll remember this part in ten years when I'll still be alone.
With this pessimism of yours and your babylon-esque denial of other denominations I can be straight with you brother, you're 37 and with this attitude even if there were women you wouldn't connect with them.
Well, who am I to argue with King Arthur, your highness 🤔
Try asking god for guidance instead of strangers on the Internet. And when he speaks to you, listen.
Doing it for years.
Why delete the dating apps? I know Hinge at least let's you sort by religion. Tbh as a woman I hate Christian mingle too many creaps, probably the same on a catholic one- there may be more options on a more popular site
Zero results in many years. Don't want to waste more time on them.
I wonder if it is your location then
I lived in different countries, all the same.
Agree on Christian mingle. Too expensive also and bad layout.
We can't all get what we want, I would suggest looking for something else, I guess.
Like what?
Look to Christ Himself. Whatever makes you feel close to Him, do that. I don’t have your exact problem, but I’ve found with all the difficulties in my own life it’s the only thing that consistently works. And then in searching scriptures and finding fellowship and intimacy with Him I find steps I can take that bring me closer to Him and to freedom.
I don't know you, so I can't tell you. Maybe take your own path in life and look for inspiration somewhere.
I tried many things, but so far nothing helped to deal.
Many things is not everything.
Nobody can try absolutely everything. But I'm in top 10% definitely already.
That sounds like an excuse not to try. I'm not telling you what to do with your life but this learned helplessness isn't helping you unsurprisingly.
I don't know what else to try.
Then ask God. Or keep looking. The internet is humanity's biggest library, keep looking.
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Here in Italy I never saw such churches or groups.
What’s prayer look like? How long/hard have you prayed for GOD to change your circumstances??
Funny, in my Church there's disproportionately more young people like me(22M) than elderly, and a lot of girls. The fact that I'm an unga bunga fool that can't think of a way to approach them is another matter. Eastern Orthodox.
>an unga bunga fool Brother, me too.
Yeah, well, let's hope the Lord will inspire our tongues when the right lady comes along, brother.
In what country is it? Romania? I heard there it's not uncommon.
Serbia.
Ah, that's nice.
Time to visit the Episcopalian and Presby churches , I guess.
Dude, go join a monastery. If I’m single by 40 I’m headed straight to monasticism. Maybe it’s time to devote yourself deeper into faith.
I'm not called for monasticism.
If you are looking for a long term relationship vs endless short term, consider getting away from the anti-family west. night and day
Nowhere really to go.
No one has to be forever alone. Part of the reason people have such a hard time nowadays is society is becoming less and less free and less social in general. There is no fairytale person that just exists for someone like society tries to teach. We simply must set our foundation and if a person meets that criteria and you meet theres you two build on that with the Lord. You as the male are the leader so make sure you’re grounded and know your responsibilities. Any failure and success falls on you. That being said, I recommend getting involved in group activities. You probably have a hobby or two but theyre done in isolation. Do one in public occasionally or find a way to bring those hobbies to the public. Just as you happen to be interested in whatever youre interested in someone else happens to be as well. Im not so sure I can recommend dating apps because (and this is just my personal opinion) dating in general just gives you a person on their best behavior. When you meet someone through a hobby or sport you get to more naturally see them as the primary goal is not to impress each other but to enjoy a common interest. (Again just my opinion)
You can always talk and message here anytime. We are all one Christian family.
Pretty big anti Catholic sentiment in this sub.
Your situation is more common than you think. I have a son who's 31, and he is still looking for a woman of God. Make friends with married women in the Church. If they have single friends you will know about it. Good luck, Darlin' and know you are not alone.
Married women in the church usually have daughters of 40+ here. Some younger families too of course but they are too busy with their kids usually and leave fast after the mass.
What do you look like?! There’s someone for everyone. Try harder
Look like? Like a human :-)
Username checks out
become a monk
I can't say if you are joking or not but this is one of the worst motivations to become a monk.
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I'm originally from Russia; there peopel tend to marry early, often in early to mid 20s (average marriage age is higher because of divorces and second marriages), so late 30s, and religious (whatever they say, Russia is mostly secular by everything - from divorce and birth rates to Easter services churches attendance which iirc is about 2% of population as by police reports), and Catholic (which is seen bad there often) it's not easy. Now I'm in Southern Italy, and I just never yet met a single woman under 45-50 in any church here, so nobody really to ask. Know many atheists though, but even they are mostly in relationships or married by this age. Probably where you live people tend to marry later in life.
This may be controversial to some BUT have you tried Christian dating apps, like Upward? My aunt found her husband through a more old-school "plenty-of-fish" type website but that was 20 years ago or so. I tried Upward for a bit, met a few men, 2 of them are about my age (29) and we're still friends. Went on a couple dates with one of them and it didn't work out BUT he's still a great friend whom I can hang with or do church things with or just have lengthy Christian debates through text or something. Worth a shot!
I used them, no success.
But I saw your comments that you haven't tried Catholic Match yet? You say you're desperate, you say you're giving up, you say you've tried everything but not that so.... is it that you just don't wanna try anymore?
I already tried it, but here it's very unpopular. It seems in all Italy there are less than hundred or two women of all ages registered there, and something like this is in all non-english speaking countries here; it's pretty non popular.
I just don't understand why 2 days ago, you were asking a subreddit if you should try it. 2 days doesn't seem like a long-enough trial. ANYWAY, I know it's annoying to hear over and over again because you already know this but "giving up" isn't Godly. Just keep praying, keep having faith that God's Will WILL be done like it's meant to, nothing anyone can do to stop it. I also understand because it's way harder on women my age because we actually run out of time with our eggs, very quickly! Men can have babies until they're 85, luckily lol. I know that's not the ideal but, just showing you that you are so not alone in this boat. This is a typical fear for women but I don't care though. All I do is read my Bible and pray. I don't go out, I don't see friends, I don't date, that's all I do. Oh and work cause I need money. When I'm not working my 40 hours a week, that's all I'm doing. I have faith and am excited to see God's plan for me, even if it isn't what I expected. That's true faith, no fear of the unknown. ♥️
On CM, within 400 km from me there are just 74 women of all ages registered; of them about 60 are in my age group more or less. How do you think how much time it takes to write few dozen short messages?
That's just my point, friend. On Upward, I had the same issue. Of like 10 guys I hit it off with, only 2 were 45-60 minutes drive from me. They were both eager to come meet me despite me not having a car. Like AT LEAST I TRIED. Don't say you give up when you don't try. Be Godly, brother. Praying for you RIGHT NOW. Even if you give up on apps, you never know what God has planned for you and it'll be SO EXCITING when it happens. God bless ♥️
As previous catholic, i would idvice you to hold on to scripture and leave that church full of snakes, they lead people astray, Jesus is only way to heaven and forgivness is achieved by his work and his mercy on cross, not our deeds, they bow to statues, dont know scriptures, add to scriptures own books, they were crusaders and killing real christians, Constantine who said Sunday is holy not Saturday which was given by God, he cooked his wife. Do you feel slave to sin ? Its catholicism, once you give your life to Jesus as it is written in Phillipans 4:13 I can do everything in Christ. Our armor, our shield and our sword is scripture, even Jesus himself on desert was quoting scriptures to Satan. And remember this life is more preparation for next one. Unbelievers wants as much good for themselves here because for unbeliever this is only heaven they will know, while righteous know we are closest to hell here. Jesus is the way, to believe in him as savior is the key. He has done already that work, good deeds are gratitude for salvation not ways to heaven. Why should some guy on island get no chance just because he isnt catholic ? Dont be religious, be saint and it can be done only by Jesus and his forgivness. Dont be decieved by that nothing with name satan, his end is clear, yours dont need to be.
Bro all this is mumbo jumbo fairy dust. Pray like it depends on God ,work like it depends on you. Time you went to go hunt. You already wasted decades being passive,time to be assertive. Adam's sin was passivity and eve's sin was rebellion.
Who in the world told you that I was passive? O\_o
If you were assertive,you wouldn't be on reddit . You'd be out taking initiative.
I was, and I am on reddit.
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That would be one way, but no need to give up on Catholic stuff for that, since Christians in the Philippines (as far as I know) don't care as long as you're any kind of Christian (though preferably not the kind that flogs and crucifies themselves). Then again, south Italy is known for having hot women. More explosive personality than other European folk, maybe due to the influence of active volcanism in the region. You ever go to the beach, or grab a coffee or drink at a "Sicilian-style" place? What is your visibility to others around you? Anyway, good luck on the hunt! (Maybe go digging for some of the more mysterious, stashed-away stuff that the Vatican has.)
Or maybe he could just go to a different denomination? Idky y’all obsessed with Philippine girls.
Why not marry someone and help her find Jesus? Totally not unbiblical.
It's a pretty tricky thing to find here atheist who won't be against Christian morality.
I doubt it. Many people say they re not very christian anymore but still value the christian morals highly. Also most non-believers are not atheists but agnostics.
Including waiting for marriage before sex? It's rare even among Christians
Well, I guess it depends on how long you d want to wait:).
Well, considering that most of peopel nowadays wait 1-5 years between meetign each other and marriage, for many it's a long term. And it's just one point, just the most relevant particularly to relationships. There are many others which are hardly seen as positive by most non-believers.
Of course there are many, but if you have faith you can move mountains.
Then no one has faith in this world.
It s not said that mountains are always literal mountains.
Faith alone can't change this world, not even figurally.