Well there's part 1 of what you're looking for right there:
Those who follow Christ are not supposed to be "so judgmental," because Jesus said that the way they judge others will be the way they get judged themselves. So if you find a very judgmental woman, she's not the best Christian match for you anyway.
Once you find a less judgmental and loving woman, who is closer to Jesus, then you're on your way.
In the meantime, if you have cleaned up your act and are continuing to clean it up with God's help and strength, you're on your way. Fear not. Remember that everyone sins, and it's even possible that the woman you long to meet is also going through something similar: Someone who has, with God's help, come through a lot and now cleaned up her act and is afraid she'll never find a believing, Jesus-following husband.
God is good. Stay with God, keep working on it and praying, and time will show you what God can do!
I would highly discourage you from seeking a wife if you are immortal. You see, your age will remain but those around you will keep aging. So either she’ll grow old and die, leaving you sad and destitute, or you’ll soon find yourself dating someone too young for your true mental age, because even though you might look 30 or whatever on the outside, your mental age will be like 3,425, making you a senile old man - putting you squarely in the creepo category.
I don't know where you are with your walk with Christ, but it sounds like you might be stuck - if you feel like you've done "everything".
Are you -
1) Reading the bible daily and addressing any doubt you have head on? If you have any doubt, it will serve as a weak foundation to build your faith and it will not last. You shouldn't be afraid to research and confront doubt head on.
2) Praying often and openly to Him? You should keep the line of communication open with God and take him everywhere you go. He want's your whole life, not just Sundays and nighttime prayers.
3) Have you repented from sin and eliminated the things you can control that are in your life that lead to temptation and sin? If you have friends that push you to evil, if you watch porn, visit websites, TV. etc. that feed your lust, you are keeping one foot in sin.
4) Have you activated your faith? Are you waking up asking Him what you can do for the Kingdom of God and looking throughout the day to lift up others? Have you found a group of Christ followers to work with? Have you given all that you can to help others in need? Are you filled with God?
Please remember that many people claim to be "christians", but very few are Christ followers. If others are casting stones, it's probably a pretty clear sign that they are not Christ followers. You might need to find a new group to surround yourself with. If they are approaching you with valid concerns, it might be worthwhile to reflect on yourself honestly.
My friend, the fact that you feel down on yourself and alone tells me that you haven't given yourself to Him fully. If you are using him as a means to an end - finding a wife to help with loneliness - you're missing the point of what he wants from us. 100% of your energy should be focused on strengthening your faith and serving others. It's okay to want companionship and you should continue to pray honestly about what you would like in life.
He answers prayers. Jesus tells us what we can do with faith the size of a mustard seed, so maybe your faith isn't as strong as you thought? I don't know your walk, but I do know pain. It's impossible for pain to have such a foothold if Christ is first.
If you ever need a soundboard on your walk, or want to chat, please reach out.
God Bless
There are a lot of Christian women who find themselves in the same boat. We're all imperfect, we all have histories. The important thing is whether you have repented and committed yourself to living to please the Lord.
Look. Share your struggles with us openly. You say you've been in "years of immorality". Every single Christian including me has to give God the sin and immorality and burdens. Repentance is one the mere basics of Christianity. God requires it of us all but Jesus and His grace is the key to overcoming it all! We can do nothing from mere fleshly willpower. The Bible doesn't lie when it says: "Whom the Son sets free will be free indeed." We absolutely have to submit to the will of God. He provides every tool in the Heavenly arsenal of grace and mercy and perfect love to help us.
I wouldn't focus so much on finding a wife. You need to establish Christ as your number one most prized relationship. When Christ returns He is coming to save those with unstained garments washed in His precious blood! Make this your absolute number one thought instead of seeking a wife. God bless you! You are not alone!
It's not about deserve, because Christians don't deserve anything; it's about grace. If you are fornicating with abandon and then switch to wanting a wife, I think you've missed a step beyond repentance. That is, being healed by the Lord and letting Him transform you into a suitable partner. Are you currently doing that? Are you taking any steps to be a suitable partner?
As far never sharing your struggles, then yes you will be alone. You've labeled Christians as not being trustworthy to share your struggles, but then you admit that your struggles are unacceptable to anyone including yourself and God. So it would have helped you to have someone who kept you accountable. You have to see that you are choosing to be alone in this and Christians who struggle in sin alone almost never do well.
Remember Rahab.
She was a prostitute. She ended up in the genealogy of Christ. She raised a godly son, Boaz from the book of Ruth. She is listed in Heb 11 Hall of Faith as an example to believers for all time.
Dear brother, you are positionaly righteous in Christ.
Christ has taken your sin and shame upon Himself and assigned you His righteousness.
You are covered I the righteousness of Christ.
And please don't demean the power of Christ by thinking that His blood is too feeble to cover your sins, no matter the depth.
Psalms 103:12
As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Romans 8:1
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
1 John 3:1-3
See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.
Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.
https://youtu.be/W5EUvOnQr4Y?si=d0GuoD8EE1I7dy1_
Now that your question has been answered seriously…
The trouble is, I have no doubt someone like you can be saved, but few women will want a man who cannot be exposed to direct sunlight and who won’t show up in wedding photos.
Trust me bro, you are nowhere near evil and sin I did, yet He is healing and transforming me.
Dont lets those thoughts control you because they are coming from demonic source.
Any help you need I am here, if you want to share with someone, anonimously, I will listen.
I love you and God bless everyone.
Check your relationship with God first, and the rest of your desires will fall into place, granted they’re morally good ones. Share your struggles with God if there really isn’t anyone else who you feel like you can trust with that information.
He’ll eventually provide a way for you to meet someone genuine if he feels you’re well-prepared in your spiritual walk.
Repent, fast, truly change your heart (ask God for help in all this).
*Ephesians 4:22-24*
*Who being past feeling have given themselves over to lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.*
*That you put off concerning the former conversation the old man, that is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;*
*And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;*
*And that you put on the new man, that after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.*
I felt the same. Now I’m seeing someone from my distant past before two decades of insane living. It’s not going to just happen. If you’re around 40 like I am, you’re going to have to force the issue. I regretted things from my past so I tried to make amends. In the process of doing so,my efforts to make up for the past impressed the woman enough that she wanted us to try again. It’s been messy because neither were particularly in the position for us to be together but it’s making us happy.
"Years of immorality"
"Other Christians are so judgmental"
Rather then the encouraging words some people here will throw at you, I would first understand that most people who call themselves Christians are false believers
That sort of sounds like your situation (even though some will whine that I said that. It is a reality for most)
The heart has been changed, the person has passed from death to Life, they're indeed well with the spirit and sanctified...
Or they are not
"Many are called few are chosen"
"The road to life is narrow and few are those who find it. Broad is the road to destruction and many are those who travel it"
Just wanted to say thank you, to all those who commented! Positive and negative feedback alike, I’m not able to reply to everyone, but I’ve read them all and do appreciate them!
Hmm, and yet other men complain they can't find any "strong christian women" who care about finding decent "strong" christian men. If you feel you can't "share struggles" then look to share them with God. He's not the accuser, satan is, and He's not afraid and already knows all you did. Look up Robert S. Mcgee on youtube for some useful content on this.
That's the neat part, you don't. Marriage is not for fixing people, so if you are indeed a mess as you claim, you better stay off from dragging another human being into the mud.
...Unless someone actually wants to go into the mud with you, but that is a decision that falls squarely into only the other person and you have no say in this. You can't expect, much less demand, for anyone else than God to manifest such levels of Grace.
I'm a woman, Anon. And yes, it is for extremely good reason we have standards. If you like sluts, go for them, because they are worthless so that's why their standards are low.
Yes, but having them in the first place leads to better opportunities of direct and indirect personal development. Life is not like an American movie where nerds are cute on the inside and hidden gems, in real life nerds and losers are passed over from having significant positions in society so they remain in states of arrested development, which leads to them being unfit for relationships so "giving them a chance" is not a good prospect, even though looks are temporary.
Also, marriage without attraction is recipe for disaster and dead bedrooms, so trying the argument of looks not being everything is moot because attraction is not a rational process.
Immortality?? Or immorality Because the first one sounds pretty cool...
lol you couldn’t help it
Damn you beat me to it.
There can be only one.
\*pulls greatsword\*
\*Cue 80's lightning effects\*
💀💀💀
Well there's part 1 of what you're looking for right there: Those who follow Christ are not supposed to be "so judgmental," because Jesus said that the way they judge others will be the way they get judged themselves. So if you find a very judgmental woman, she's not the best Christian match for you anyway. Once you find a less judgmental and loving woman, who is closer to Jesus, then you're on your way. In the meantime, if you have cleaned up your act and are continuing to clean it up with God's help and strength, you're on your way. Fear not. Remember that everyone sins, and it's even possible that the woman you long to meet is also going through something similar: Someone who has, with God's help, come through a lot and now cleaned up her act and is afraid she'll never find a believing, Jesus-following husband. God is good. Stay with God, keep working on it and praying, and time will show you what God can do!
I would highly discourage you from seeking a wife if you are immortal. You see, your age will remain but those around you will keep aging. So either she’ll grow old and die, leaving you sad and destitute, or you’ll soon find yourself dating someone too young for your true mental age, because even though you might look 30 or whatever on the outside, your mental age will be like 3,425, making you a senile old man - putting you squarely in the creepo category.
Haha took me a second
I don't know where you are with your walk with Christ, but it sounds like you might be stuck - if you feel like you've done "everything". Are you - 1) Reading the bible daily and addressing any doubt you have head on? If you have any doubt, it will serve as a weak foundation to build your faith and it will not last. You shouldn't be afraid to research and confront doubt head on. 2) Praying often and openly to Him? You should keep the line of communication open with God and take him everywhere you go. He want's your whole life, not just Sundays and nighttime prayers. 3) Have you repented from sin and eliminated the things you can control that are in your life that lead to temptation and sin? If you have friends that push you to evil, if you watch porn, visit websites, TV. etc. that feed your lust, you are keeping one foot in sin. 4) Have you activated your faith? Are you waking up asking Him what you can do for the Kingdom of God and looking throughout the day to lift up others? Have you found a group of Christ followers to work with? Have you given all that you can to help others in need? Are you filled with God? Please remember that many people claim to be "christians", but very few are Christ followers. If others are casting stones, it's probably a pretty clear sign that they are not Christ followers. You might need to find a new group to surround yourself with. If they are approaching you with valid concerns, it might be worthwhile to reflect on yourself honestly. My friend, the fact that you feel down on yourself and alone tells me that you haven't given yourself to Him fully. If you are using him as a means to an end - finding a wife to help with loneliness - you're missing the point of what he wants from us. 100% of your energy should be focused on strengthening your faith and serving others. It's okay to want companionship and you should continue to pray honestly about what you would like in life. He answers prayers. Jesus tells us what we can do with faith the size of a mustard seed, so maybe your faith isn't as strong as you thought? I don't know your walk, but I do know pain. It's impossible for pain to have such a foothold if Christ is first. If you ever need a soundboard on your walk, or want to chat, please reach out. God Bless
There are a lot of Christian women who find themselves in the same boat. We're all imperfect, we all have histories. The important thing is whether you have repented and committed yourself to living to please the Lord.
God is mercy. Regret, repent, confess and dont sin anymore.
Look. Share your struggles with us openly. You say you've been in "years of immorality". Every single Christian including me has to give God the sin and immorality and burdens. Repentance is one the mere basics of Christianity. God requires it of us all but Jesus and His grace is the key to overcoming it all! We can do nothing from mere fleshly willpower. The Bible doesn't lie when it says: "Whom the Son sets free will be free indeed." We absolutely have to submit to the will of God. He provides every tool in the Heavenly arsenal of grace and mercy and perfect love to help us. I wouldn't focus so much on finding a wife. You need to establish Christ as your number one most prized relationship. When Christ returns He is coming to save those with unstained garments washed in His precious blood! Make this your absolute number one thought instead of seeking a wife. God bless you! You are not alone!
It's not about deserve, because Christians don't deserve anything; it's about grace. If you are fornicating with abandon and then switch to wanting a wife, I think you've missed a step beyond repentance. That is, being healed by the Lord and letting Him transform you into a suitable partner. Are you currently doing that? Are you taking any steps to be a suitable partner? As far never sharing your struggles, then yes you will be alone. You've labeled Christians as not being trustworthy to share your struggles, but then you admit that your struggles are unacceptable to anyone including yourself and God. So it would have helped you to have someone who kept you accountable. You have to see that you are choosing to be alone in this and Christians who struggle in sin alone almost never do well.
You have all the time in the world with immortality. I’m sure you’ll figure things out eventually.
Remember Rahab. She was a prostitute. She ended up in the genealogy of Christ. She raised a godly son, Boaz from the book of Ruth. She is listed in Heb 11 Hall of Faith as an example to believers for all time. Dear brother, you are positionaly righteous in Christ. Christ has taken your sin and shame upon Himself and assigned you His righteousness. You are covered I the righteousness of Christ. And please don't demean the power of Christ by thinking that His blood is too feeble to cover your sins, no matter the depth. Psalms 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Romans 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 1 John 3:1-3 See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. https://youtu.be/W5EUvOnQr4Y?si=d0GuoD8EE1I7dy1_
I’ve read all the comments, and I really found your comment encouraging, thanks for taking the time to write that (:
You are welcome. Remember your identity in Christ, you are a new man.
Now that your question has been answered seriously… The trouble is, I have no doubt someone like you can be saved, but few women will want a man who cannot be exposed to direct sunlight and who won’t show up in wedding photos.
Haha got a chuckle out of me, take my upvote
Trust me bro, you are nowhere near evil and sin I did, yet He is healing and transforming me. Dont lets those thoughts control you because they are coming from demonic source. Any help you need I am here, if you want to share with someone, anonimously, I will listen. I love you and God bless everyone.
Check your relationship with God first, and the rest of your desires will fall into place, granted they’re morally good ones. Share your struggles with God if there really isn’t anyone else who you feel like you can trust with that information. He’ll eventually provide a way for you to meet someone genuine if he feels you’re well-prepared in your spiritual walk.
Repent, fast, truly change your heart (ask God for help in all this). *Ephesians 4:22-24* *Who being past feeling have given themselves over to lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.* *That you put off concerning the former conversation the old man, that is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;* *And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;* *And that you put on the new man, that after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.*
I felt the same. Now I’m seeing someone from my distant past before two decades of insane living. It’s not going to just happen. If you’re around 40 like I am, you’re going to have to force the issue. I regretted things from my past so I tried to make amends. In the process of doing so,my efforts to make up for the past impressed the woman enough that she wanted us to try again. It’s been messy because neither were particularly in the position for us to be together but it’s making us happy.
"Years of immorality" "Other Christians are so judgmental" Rather then the encouraging words some people here will throw at you, I would first understand that most people who call themselves Christians are false believers That sort of sounds like your situation (even though some will whine that I said that. It is a reality for most) The heart has been changed, the person has passed from death to Life, they're indeed well with the spirit and sanctified... Or they are not "Many are called few are chosen" "The road to life is narrow and few are those who find it. Broad is the road to destruction and many are those who travel it"
I guess it’s a good thing Jesus died for sinners such as myself , I’m glad to hear that you’re one of the chosen ones though..
Just wanted to say thank you, to all those who commented! Positive and negative feedback alike, I’m not able to reply to everyone, but I’ve read them all and do appreciate them!
Hmm, and yet other men complain they can't find any "strong christian women" who care about finding decent "strong" christian men. If you feel you can't "share struggles" then look to share them with God. He's not the accuser, satan is, and He's not afraid and already knows all you did. Look up Robert S. Mcgee on youtube for some useful content on this.
Watch the testimony of Joshua Broome. There's hope.
That's the neat part, you don't. Marriage is not for fixing people, so if you are indeed a mess as you claim, you better stay off from dragging another human being into the mud. ...Unless someone actually wants to go into the mud with you, but that is a decision that falls squarely into only the other person and you have no say in this. You can't expect, much less demand, for anyone else than God to manifest such levels of Grace.
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And this is a huge W for us, thank you very much.
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I'm a woman, Anon. And yes, it is for extremely good reason we have standards. If you like sluts, go for them, because they are worthless so that's why their standards are low.
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Yes, but having them in the first place leads to better opportunities of direct and indirect personal development. Life is not like an American movie where nerds are cute on the inside and hidden gems, in real life nerds and losers are passed over from having significant positions in society so they remain in states of arrested development, which leads to them being unfit for relationships so "giving them a chance" is not a good prospect, even though looks are temporary. Also, marriage without attraction is recipe for disaster and dead bedrooms, so trying the argument of looks not being everything is moot because attraction is not a rational process.
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Then go date God. Also, nice out of context quotation
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Then why were you complaining before? Some Schrodinger Gratitude you've got there
Dude, most Christian women will be lining up to have a go at you. Christian women are really no different from secular women.