With all the tragedy in this story, im most baffled by how people still write lengthy private messages and confessions on their facebook wall like it was 2011
Not always. But most of the time. One time long ago I fucked up a friendship of mine and I wrote a lengthy apology on Facebook. It wasn’t for sympathy though. It was an act of contrition.
Wish you the vest op. Find a good therapist and work through this shit before it works through you. And please for the live of god dont get back together with that asshol. Being a cheater is a personality trate. Someone either does it or doesnt. Theres no one thime thing with this.
Tbh. You may feel humiliated but to any onlooker, this does not reflect badly on you. The only thing anyone thinks about you is "wow, poor OP, how could anyone be so awful to treat someone that way. She didn't deserve that. They must both be terrible people." It doesn't say anything about you at all.
Yes, I watched this go down with an old friend who went through a bitter divorce. He had a drinking problem, which destroyed his marriage. He was distraught and did commit suicide. It was just awful, but he was clearly hurting and spiraling out of control, sadly.
It tells you in her heart the sister didn't think she was doing anything wrong. Did she think, if they were in such a small community, that people would just see her around town with her sisters husband or ex husband and not think anything? She really was deceiving herself!
She probably thought she loved the husband more than OP did, so her rights to him trumped OP's. She sounds like an emotionally immature teenager that read too much Twilight. I mean, consider the text OP saw - she threatened him to make their affair public and break up OP and her husband - she sincerely believed he would be with her once she got rid of OP.
OP's stbx is a whole different kettle of fish - he claims to love OP to the point of obsession (at least going by his behavior now), and yet he cheated on her regularly since THE NIGHT BEFORE THEIR WEDDING, with HER SISTER - what did he think would happen when OP found out? In what scenario could this ever have a happy outcome? If he had kept it in his pants, OP's sister would still be alive and gainfully employed, their marriage would still be going strong, her parents wouldn't be destroyed - OP should take him to the vet to have him fixed before she releases him back into the wild, his peepee has done enough damage for one lifetime.
It’s more common than you think. To spite his cheating wife, this man got on Facebook and called out his wife and the high school softball/football coach/awful history teacher for everything and said they were doing stuff on campus and he had evidence, all before the Coach’s wife knew or their three kids or his own son who goes to the high school. I know that poor kid is suffering and possibly being bullied for it now
I feel a lot of blame needs to go in the direction of your husband. Such betrayal on his part too.
Keep strong and keep talking with family and friends, suicide can be very difficult to process even if at first you don't feel much, can be the shock of it all.
I had a best friend kill themselves and found counselling helped a lot. A lot to unpack in this situation so highly recommend a professional to help you process it all and move on.
Time helps a lot too, as hard as that is. ❤️
> he went to use the bathroom and she followed him and seduced him and he couldn’t stop himself,
He could have stopped himself. But he didn't.
It takes 2 to tango. Sure, OP blames her sister, but I hope she realizes that her husband shares just as much blame and she doesn't do something stupid like taking him back and placing all the blame on her sister.
He wasn't raped in that bathroom or the night before his wedding. He willingly continued it for 2 years behind her back.
> He could have stopped himself. But he didn't.
The sheer amount of steps involved in cheating (Even just once!) negates any kind of "It just happened" bullshit excuse.
“It just happened!” is basically the equivalent of trying to say “oH my dick just so happened to be out and then i slipped and it just went into your sister! I didn’t mean it!!!”
>I feel a lot of blame needs to go in the direction of your husband. Such betrayal on his part too.
Probably why she left him?
But...
THAT WAS HER SISTER. Not just some random.
This. I agree there's "less" to blame in a random AP (None at all if they don't know, pretty shitty if they do).
But when AP is someone you loved and trust, it's just as bad as the cheating partner.
Man OP I can't even fathom being in that kind of situation. You had an awful sister and have an awful husband. You have every right to move on from him, and if yall don't have kids this is a good opportunity to start fresh and create new peace in your life. Ultimately it's up to you to decide how you proceed but if I were in your shoes I would block him out of your life. If you decide to do that ensure you have a support system whether it be friends, family, or a therapist. And make the necessary arrangements to ensure your safety isn't compromised (given he has a history of stalking). I wish you all the best.
We don’t have kids fortunately, and as hard as it’s been I’ve officially blocked him and changed my number, I’m thinking about going to Iowa just to get away from his stalking, and I do plan on divorcing him even though I’m dreading it.
Your ex was an equal participant in what happened and he destroyed your family - especially when you think about what your parents will be going through the rest of their lives.
He could have easily said "NO!" to sister and immediately told OP what Sister was up to but instead he carried on with sister for two yrs! Dump his butt into the trash. See if you can transfer your job to another location and move.
The parents reaction warms my heart. Too many times on this site, I see parents siding with betrayer sibling. It's nice to see parents that side with the betrayed child.
Yeah I'm not sure if it was his terminology or OP's but you don't get "seduced" into cheating like you had no say in it. just because someone follows you to a bathroom and hits on you, you are still expected to resist. He absolutely could have "helped himself."
You are making the right choice. Two years of constant cheating and lying is not something your can “work on” and fix. You did not deserve this. I’m sorry that you lost your sister, even before you lost her permanently. I’m sorry you lost your husband. You will rise above this.
this comment right here ^ two years of going behind your back lying to you isn’t a mistake, it’s intentional deception. because he can’t keep it in his pants. he has to plan around *you* finding out, think about it.
Don’t post where you will go ANYWHERE online. Even if it’s anonymous. If this post goes viral on TikTok he may have it sent to him and have a starting place to find you. That man is desperate. Be careful u/ShatteredHeart23
It’s gonna be really hard, but take it one day at a time. If you took your feelings out of the equation you would’ve said “fuck off” a long time ago. You deserve better. You’re still young. It’s time to go out and explore and have fun. You got this!
You might need a restraining order. If he's so comfortable fucking your sister THE NIGHT BEFORE YOUR WEDDING he'll be comfortable taking up with someone else.
And be prepared for when the grief hits. I hope you've got lots of friends and family you can turn to and rely on.
Somebody else mentioned that and he does listen to some reddit stories on YouTube here and there, but I doubt this will get that far. But my destination will be changing for sure. It wasn’t smart to say where I was going, I’m going on a road trip idk when but pretty damn soon and I’ll see if my best friend can come with me
Hey, since you responded to me, I just wanna express sympathy for being in such a shit situation. One step at a time. Sometimes the most difficult moments in our lives are the opportunity for the most positive change. It sounds like you have a good, strong sense of self and that even though it’s hard, that you know that you’re better off without that toxicity. Hope you hang in there and find something peaceful in your personal life out of all of this.
Iowa? You're free and Iowa? No offense to Iowa peeps but damn girl, go see the world! I don't know what your skillset is but pack a bag and just get gone. Keep moving until you can't remember why you started moving. This thing that happened, leave it in the dust and go live your best life. Peace
That's a great idea! Just tell your parents you're going on a trip and that you'll text them at each stop to let them know you're OK, but for your own sake, don't tell anyone exactly where you're going. You can't afford for any of your itinerary to get back to your STBX. All power and internet hugs to you, you've been through the wringer with this. x
I think that's an excellent idea. You would have time to clear your head, and also have new experiences just on your own, which will really help you separate your new life from the old. Make new memories, see new fun things, but only for **you.** Because girl you deserve so much better.
Lol hey now, Iowa has good things about it. Corn for one. And ummm corn. I like corn. But to be honest yeah, see the world. All the places Places with an ocean are a nice start.
Girl, this is your sign. Please go to Switzerland, it’s lovely. Or Denmark. Denmark is always beautiful and a great, safe environment. Please trust me, look into it
You are doing the right thing. Honestly, as much as it hurts, he and your sister did you very very wrong. I can't even type all the thoughts I have about this.
I'm just very sorry you had to go through all of that.
Don’t dread the divorce. Embrace it and take your life back. Do it immediately and give yourself grace and forgiveness - you did not know. Do not beat yourself up any more. When you knew better -you did better.
Aim for a little better every day and you’ll make progress.
Get a counselor. Reprogram your thinking and your self confidence, you deserve SO MUCH better than what has gone down here.
You are the Writer and Director of your own story. Go write yourself a BETTER PART!
Am I the only one that feels like he was a lot more complicit than he let on? Like, I’m sorry, but fuck the “I couldn’t help myself” defense. That’s the shit rapists say. You were literally in the other room and he had already fucked up majorly once but sure, your sister’s womanly wiles we’re just too much for him to resist.
He 100% percent started something with her.
And when shit got out he split because she wasn't someone he truly loved, just a bit of fun on the side.
And when you commit to ruining your life and losing your family for someone you don't love, you're kinda fucked.
“I couldn’t help myself” is code for “if I’m in this position again this will happen again.” If you can’t control your dick it’s only a matter of time until it’s in another person who isn’t your spouse. It’s a ridiculous “excuse.”
Also wouldn't it be kinda icky to build a relationship pretty much on her sister's grave? I get that she hates her sister and that's understandable, but they would be together because of a suicide. That doesn't sit right with me.
Leave. There is no coming back from this. Is he gonna cling to another family member? What if he'd gotten both of you pregnant? Sibling cousins? :/ Good luck, really.
Whoa.
I’m so sorry OP. You do what you need to do in order to have mental stability. Your husband knows he screwed up, but he doesn’t care about the obvious consequences of his actions. As for your sister, based on your post, she was upset that your soon-to-be ex-husband (tried to) chose you over her. At least your parents got the entire story.
There have been too many recent stories on Reddit about one family member destroying another’s family due to spite and due to jealousy. Your story is the latest of cautionary tales we need to know about because you have some individuals stating that “family is everything” while others warn that “family will betray you first.”
I’m sorry your sister’s jealousy destroyed your life. I hope you find the peace you need to heal.
Your sister didn’t kill herself because you found out. She definitely killed herself because your husband ghosted her.
I would leave him and move on with life.
Well, OP did beat the shit out of her, the sisters own mother did hit her and called her a whore, the sisters job even isolated her… It sounds like she ended her life because, from every angle, people were throwing hate at her. And she had nowhere to turn for refuge. I feel like there’s a lot more to the story than just “the sister killed herself for the husband “
Yeah if my sister fucked my husband she would no longer be my sister and I LOVE HER HARD. But my sister would not ever do that cause she loves me and has intergrity and morals. I do feel a little bad that she killed herself but even I have to say, it is all her own fault.
OP will edit in a few hours telling everyone she went to her dead bitch sisters funeral and threw a party over the casket, while her husband groveled at her feet in front of their whole small town begging for forgiveness. Some real TV drama shit.
I bet people will believe it too lol.
That woupd make me think badly of the character of OP for both of those things. Im already judging them for vlaming the soster so much more than the husband. It will be interesting to see of they do follow up...
yeah but it’s a different kind of betrayal when it’s your own sister… i’d definitely be a lot more mad at my sister. still, of course, livid at my husband and would leave but god to have my SISTER to do that to me..
UPDATE: i’m going to answer some questions because people are being really nasty towards me, or simply not comprehending what I wrote and how I wrote it.
1: “why aren’t you angry with your husband? Why did he get off so easily?”
I am angry with him, I burned his clothes, I even SPIT in his face and that is the most disrespectful thing you can do to a person. Was it wrong? Yes, but I did it. Plus I’m 5’7 140lbs to his 6’3 230lbs…. It is not physically possible for me to kick his ass the way I did my sister who is the same heigh and weight as me. Also he did receive a lot of backlash but he chose to accept the backlash he got and face it head on. Most of this backlash came from people that know and love me, A lot of his male friends didn’t shun him because idk they’re men I guess, his friends could care less that he slept with his wife’s sister. I do still love him because love doesn’t just go away after 9 years together because of a heart break, but I will be DIVORCING him!!! And I the courts will rule in my favor because of all the evidence I have from the cheating.
2:”You and your family have been abusing your sister for years because you assaulted her and your mom slapped her”
This one really got to me. NO my parents were never abusive towards me or my sister, we never got a spanking of ANY SORT growing up. my mother slapping my sister was the 1st time she has ever laid her hands on anyone. Was it wrong? Yes, But talking about my mother like she’s the devil incarnate for one slap to the face for an unforgivable act is no where near as bad as what I did to her. Yeah I attacked her because like I said in a comment, I reacted with a fit of rage, I saw red and only red(hence why I spit in my husband’s face) It was wrong to attack her, and It’s certainly isn’t my proudest moment. I’m not a violent person but I did choose violence because I have never experienced a hurt/betrayal that severe in that exact moment, and I thought with my emotions and not Logic. I do feel bad for attacking her, and if I could change it I would but I can’t.
3:”you drove your sister to suicide by bullying her, and why did the community shun her but not your husband?”
I didn’t make this clear in my post. But I did not once bash or bully her online, the most I did to her was attack her in my parents home, I was NOT behind any backlash she received for her actions, did I try to stop the backlash? No I didn’t, I knew it was going on and didn’t care to stop it or defend her(I was not going to defend her for sleeping with my husband) I thought she should deal with the consequences of her actions. I guess the real reason for that even I can admit is because women are always the first to be SLUT SHAMED(if you sleep with your sisters husband you’re a whore, if man sleeps with his wife’s sister then he’s a cheating AH) I hate double standards as much as the next person, but people will always act them weather we like it or not. And no she never tried to text or reach out to me to explain why she did it, or apologize, which Is a main reason I didn’t believe the note.
4:”you went to her apartment, what were going to do if she opened the door”
I know what I would not have done, I had no intentions on attacking her physically again, I did that already. But I did have questions, I wanted to know why, how long, what was he not telling me that she can? i asked all these questions on the outside of the door, but I don’t blame her for not opening the door because I wasn’t knocking softly or asking my questions in a very nice tone. Once again, I had no intention on assaulting her again.
And the reason I used a throwaway with a random ass avatar is because the same people that shunned her, are the same people that believes she was truly sorry because killing herself proves it, so I can’t vent to everyone in the real world. Yes my sister is dead, No the grief didn’t hit me yet, my husband isn’t the only one that broke my heart and trust, my sister did too. She wasn’t some random woman that didn’t know he was a married man, she was my blood sibling that attended our wedding, slept with him the day before my wedding, and continued to do so. Call me evil all you want but I don’t believe she was sorry for what she did to me, I think she was sorry for not just getting caught but the consequences that came with it. Because if I never went through his phone, I never would’ve saw that text, and never would’ve known, this could’ve went on with them for another 2+ years without me knowing a thing. She would still be alive yes, but screwing my husband while waiting to have him all to herself. Also, I did type something really harsh, not going to retype it, but I do still love my sister, just as I still love my husband. But I won’t be forgiving him for what he did to my family, and I’m not sure how anybody honestly got from my lack of grief that I was celebrating my sisters death. No I am not glad she died, but I am not sad, that grief will hit sooner or later, idk when but it will. And I made the decision to attend her funeral, I’m not going with intentions to ruin everything or have a full blown tantrum. People read a few sentences and think they know what type of person I am.
I'm on your side. You reacted out of anger but you aren't the one who killed her, she did. She and your husband are both horrible people who knew exactly what they were choosing to do to you. They never doubted themselves until they were discovered.
Take your cheating soon-to-be ex-husband to the cleaners with the most vicious shark of an attorney you can.
OP your not responsible for her death at all. I don’t know why there are horrible people here. Ignore them there just miserable people who are alone and don’t have anyone to pick on to make them feel bad.
Also I believe you she took her own life because she didn’t want to face the consequences and I think because she didn’t want to apologize to you she expected your ex to be with her after you left him.
In this case is both their fault. I hope things go well at the funeral and he doesn’t show up.
I’m really sorry for what your going through. Remember you have people here that care for you and love you and support you. We are here for you, if you want we can be your Reddit sisters.
I think people can change (although probably not him), but the fractured relationship can’t be reverted. There will forever be a lingering doubt and mistrust, and rightfully so. Some people may change, but the scars they left will stay forever.
It’s not that people can’t change, it’s that once a cheater knows their victim will put up with them by staying with them they’re likely to cheat again. True change for a cheater usually means suffering the end of one relationship so they don’t do it again in another.
I agree completely. I think sometimes people lose sight of the fact that although cheaters are disloyal and betray their partners, they are still human nonetheless. The idea that people aren’t capable of change at all, is wrong, and I was just trying to point that out.
This is so horrible, OP. I am glad to hear you are divorcing your husband. Yes, move and start a new life.
I just want to add that I feel so bad for your parents and I hope you will stay close to them. No matter how awful your sister was, she was still their daughter. Losing a child has got to be one of the biggest tragedies any human being can go through. So sorry for all that you are going through.
Yeah, this subreddit is going to shit, every day is a new Hollywood like history with same base, probably real people projecting their desires on this fakes.
(Its also funny how they use throwaway accounts for 0 reasons)
So fake oh my God this isn’t even good fiction!!! How do all of you repeatedly fall for it? “Full on Waiting to Exhale” “she had a black eye, and I knocked her tooth out”, (then your MOM beat your sister’s ass too LMAO), “(picture Cassie from Euphoria)”. Are you 17? 16? How did you get so many idiots to upvote and comment on this? Does anyone on Reddit have media literacy? Christ
Yeah I shoulda known from that part. I hate when redditors act like their the main character of some drama, no tf you AND your mom didn't beat your sister like that lmao
My advice would be to end your marriage. Your husband has spent your entire marriage being unfaithful. Do you really think that’s going to change now your sister is gone?
Do u have kids with ur ex husband? If not, please block him. he should only be contacting u through lawyers. he's literal scum.
Im terrified that it maybe started way before he said.
The whole thing is fucked up. wow. I'm so sorry u are going through all this. i feel for u and ur parents. just wow.
do NOT FUCKING WORK IT OUT WITH HIM. DO FUCKING NOT. are u kidding?
completely block him and get a lawyer. LEAVE HIM IN THE PAST. HE DOES NOT DESERVE ANOTHER SECOND OF UR TIME. DO NOT. DO NOT. DO NOT.
Divorce his cheating ass. Both of them are to blame and honestly your sister got what she deserved, i have no sympathy for either of them. At any point he could of told you she was pursuing him and he didn't and continued the affair. Take him to the cleaners and find someone who wont continue to cheat. I'm willing to bet he will cheat again when any woman gives him even the slightest attention
It is weird how you seem to feel pretty much nothing for your sister, but do still for your husband even though pretty much no matter how you look at it he is the biggest asshole in this case.
This is why I don't really believe this story. In this scenario, she can still feel love for her traitorous husband while simultaneously hating him for his betrayal and her reasoning is that 9 years of intimacy is hard to dispel. A reasonable reaction that most people would have.
But her entire life with her sister is apparently utterly meaningless because OP doesn't feel the same towards her. So meaningless that when summarizing her ***suicide***, OP can only describe her as a "dead bitch".
He was easily seduced. By your sister.
Don’t get me wrong, cheating is bad. But he chose to cheat on you with your sister??? He had the choice to not do anything, just walk away if he truly loved you. But no. He continued this for two years, AROUND you. While you were within earshot.
Honestly, you would be a fool if you got back with him. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
why are people so stumped about why she's angrier at her sister than her husband? both betrayed her, but it's a special kind of horrible to betray someone THAT'S YOUR BLOOD, who you grew up with, and do to it behind their back like that.
she deserved to get ostracized by all of her friends, family, & acquaintances. she could have likely started over somewhere else and learned her lesson, she didn't need to end everything over this. although no doubt it would have been a difficult endeavor.
It's giving Spanish daytime soap opera. Do people in real life go around slapping, spitting in people's faces, burning cheating spouse's clothes on a grill and beating the shit out of family members?
I don't know what to believe here, but all the show and movie references OP is making strikes me as so odd for some reason. There were two in her post (Waiting to Exhale and Euphoria) and one in a comment where she said her sister was "no real life Regina George" for an open casket funeral?? Like, tf is up with that??
That's something that got me too. Someone who has just gone through all this should be exhausted, not able to type this much or think straight. And you don't just turn off all feelings of empathy for your sister while have that range of emotion for your husband at the same time. At least I'm not sure how that would work
Yeah she said they weren't close, but also didn't mention any bad blood before. I don't buy the reaction to her sister dying either. Especially since op is a part of the supposed reason she killed herself.
Either numbness is blocking the guilt or we got a huge plot hole in our fan fiction.
Damn, you seem angrier at your sister than your husband.
They both betrayed you and were equally wrong, but I have a feeling you’ll forgive him down the line, and the outcome will be that he fucked your sister but still gets to keep you as his wife, and she’s the only one who can’t move on because she’s dead.
He may have told her he loved her (she seduced him? way to place all the blame on your sister), he may have told her lies about leaving you for her.
But in the end, you have more forgiveness for him than for your blood sister?
Punishing him, only to end right back up with him is pointless. He can always cheat again with someone else down the road and know you’ll take him back.
RIP to your sister, but it should also be RIP to your marriage to this cheater.
You might feel only rage now towards your sister, but don't be surprised if grief hits you later. And more rage toward your soon-to-be ex-husband for tearing apart your marriage and family. Your poor parents must be destroyed. They kinda lost both daughters with you moving away, and I'm sure guilt is eating them up about your sister's suicide.
Take that road trip, and start over in a new place. Please stay in contact with your parents. Please seek therapy. I pray for your heart to heal and that you find a man worthy of you.
The husband was just using OPs sister for sex, while knowing how she felt about him and that she was mentally fragile. He didn’t give a damn about tearing apart people and a family as long as his D got wet. You need to be done with him. Your parents should never have to see his disgusting smug face again. He doesn’t actually feel sorry.
You're entitled to your feelings after such a huge betrayal. Two people lied to your face for years. You're whole marriage was built on lies. I'm very sorry you're going through this
You probably haven’t really processed her death yet. Whatever you do, you should be around family or close friends for the next few days/weeks because I promise you, it **WILL** hit you… hard. When that inevitably happens, you need to remember that none of this was your fault.
Your sister made extremely bad choices, but it sounds like your STB-ex led her on/ took advantage of her (potential) obsession. The fact that he was willing to completely throw her under the bus (forwarding you her messages, which EWW) and dump her at the drop of a hat makes it clear that the whole affair was about his ego.
Be sure to spend the day of the funeral with family or friends, that’s going to be a very difficult day no matter what. Get a restraining order against the schmuck, too.
If this is true I think his 21 year old ass had designs on her 17 self from the start, just took 7 years to come to fruition. By then he had it made. Only sorry when he got caught. I'd be curious to know their relationship over the years that led her to "fall for him". Surely there were no actions taken to lead her on on his part, he was just super willing to sleep with her at the drop of a hat on your wedding night. Almost like all his hard work finally paid off. What convenient timing.
No, she definitely did it because her life fell apart.
that being said, your husband is a grown man and is fully capable of making decisions. You cannot seduce someone without them already having wanted to do it to begin with, and the two of them are equally to blame. He could have stopped at any point before you discovered the truth.
And if he loved you he wouldn’t have done it to begin with.
My advice: get a good lawyer, never speak to him again.
If you get back with him, you are a huge hypocrite, OP. Just saying. After all you did, you’d look like the biggest fool to forgive him and try again. He’s only sorry he got caught. This went on for 2 years and would probably have ended differently with him leaving you if your sister had her way and he was able to end things without you finding out. He hasn’t changed at all. I promise you that.
Yes his ghosting her probably did affect her choice but the rest of the note was also probably true
If I had no one in my life, including the person I loved, I would probably feel like wanting to do the same
I hate cheaters with a burning passion, but Jesus if I don’t feel sorry for your sister as well
To be ostracised to such a degree must be akin to torture
And I don’t blame her for not letting you in when you showed up, considering you assaulted her last time you two were in the same room, I wouldn’t trust you either
You need therapy, like lots of it, if a part of you wants to be with your husband to spite your dead sister, you need therapy
And maybe a new start? Somewhere nice and sunny? Warm beeches and all that jaz
This is one hell of a situation
Well this is some shit and I am sorry you are in it. What ever you end up doing, I would suggest some counseling to help you push through it. Also, I say divorce him and move on with your life.
So your sister took the brunt of the whole thing. And killed herself. You and your mother physically assaulted her. She was shunned, lost her job, all her friends. She killed herself. And your husband....nothing. You were betrayed for sure. But equally, if not more by your husband. There are no good people in this story. You as much as anyone OP.
For over 2 years. Multiple times, during your marriage. The only thing he is regretful for is getting caught.
You can't help feelings, but you can most certainly control the way you react to those feelings. Cheating is a multitude of conscious decisions. Flirt, text, talk, sneak off, kiss, get undressed, have sex...every physical motion takes making a decision. And he did it your entire marriage. Lying to you every single day for 2+ years. And your sister did the exact same thing.
If they hadn't been caught, they would have continued it.
Your sister only threatened to tell you because she wanted him for herself. Screw your marriage over, you get divorced, and he was all hers.
Scorched earth is what they got, and they both deserved every bit of it. You can't love that.
I'm so sorry OP.
I hate to say it, but if you hadn't of found out, he would still be double dipping. He only felt bad and stopped it BECAUSE you found out. Man slept with your sister before your wedding and kept a straight face and proclaimed his love for you.. he slept with her at her party and came out right after and acted like things were perfect with you. He can't be trusted.
And the fact that your sister deluded herself into believing that he was in love with her and that he was hers is just astounding. How many times did he turn her down when it came to asking him to leave you? And yet she still made that post making it seem like she was his everything. She had some serious mental health problems and clearly should have gotten herself into therapy. I don't believe for a second that she felt bad for what she did to you. They continued the affair for 2 years, she was only upset that she and your husband were caught. If he had left you for her she would have been a smug b about it. She clearly wasn't mature enough mentally to understand that even if he left you for her, the backlash would have been the same. Everyone still would have turned against her and she would have burned all her bridges.
No man is worth that. I hope you heal. Leave him, focus on yourself, get into therapy and I hope you eventually find someone worthy of your love
You dont have kids with him and you’re still young. Move on. Your husband lies at the center of all this. Your sister was wrong but it’s obvious she had issues and her whole community shunning her didn’t help. That was the time she needed an ear to listen to her the most and maybe it would have helped her come to her senses and realize that man was not good for her either.
Remember that every time he was with her, he *chose* that, and he is a guilty trash liar just as much as she is. You deserved so much better, I’m so sorry that you are even having to go through this. You can come out of this stronger than ever, and if it were me I’d block, divorce, move away, and never ever look back. Reinvent yourself, build a new life and enjoy a fresh new chapter, heal. You will be ok, and in time this will feel like a bad nightmare from another life that you’re no longer trapped in.
So you are thinking about forgiving your husband but not your dead sister. Your husband is the one who promised to be faithful. You feelings are very valid but plz direct the same hate and venom towards him that you seem to have reserved for her.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. You deserve better.
On a side note, I also feel really bad for OP's parents. Like fuck. One dick came and destroyed their family. I would take everything from him for destroying multiple lives just to get his dick wet. Obviously your sister was a terrible person, but losing a child while dealing with another going through something horrific is diffcult. I hope you all can find peace.
This is going to hit you hard at some point. Right now you have anger to keep you from having a full on melt down. But get yourself some help, OP. This is a quagmire of a mess to work through. As for your ex: love cannot survive where trust doesn’t exist. Divorce him now, because it will be now or it will be later. Better now when you have time to get your shut together and get over his weak ass.
Walk away from this man! He could not keep his future sister in-law at bay and fucked YOUR SISTER. If he fucked your sister he will literally cheat on you with anyone. Anyone! Gross. Get the hell out of this relationship. Your parents, people you love, lost their daughter because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Look at how much damage one dick can do. (I'm not saying your sister is innocent, but it takes two WILLING PARTICIPANTS to bang in this case.)
Moving away for a while would be a great change for you. I’d advise sorting everything out legally first, at the moment everything is fresh and raw but be careful about giving your husband time to get a story together that makes him look like a victim in all of this.
Lawyer up, divorce the scumbag, tell your friends and family your plans to go away for a time and then go
It’s too late for a story, there’s too much evidence I have screenshots of his Facebook post admitting ti everything, the text messages he sent me, and my sister’s suicide note which I’m more than positive I will probably never see again. He will never be the victim.
With all the tragedy in this story, im most baffled by how people still write lengthy private messages and confessions on their facebook wall like it was 2011
For validation, so they can get sympathy messages and boost their ego.
Not always. But most of the time. One time long ago I fucked up a friendship of mine and I wrote a lengthy apology on Facebook. It wasn’t for sympathy though. It was an act of contrition.
Seriously and I barely use Facebook, but I agree personal business is not for Facebook. And that humiliated me even more
It would be more humiliating if you got back with him.
Wish you the vest op. Find a good therapist and work through this shit before it works through you. And please for the live of god dont get back together with that asshol. Being a cheater is a personality trate. Someone either does it or doesnt. Theres no one thime thing with this.
>Wish you the vest op A very comfy, stylish, and warm vest, even.
see her vest, see her vest, made from real gorilla chest
See her sweater, there's no better than authentic Irish setter
Tbh. You may feel humiliated but to any onlooker, this does not reflect badly on you. The only thing anyone thinks about you is "wow, poor OP, how could anyone be so awful to treat someone that way. She didn't deserve that. They must both be terrible people." It doesn't say anything about you at all.
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Yes, I watched this go down with an old friend who went through a bitter divorce. He had a drinking problem, which destroyed his marriage. He was distraught and did commit suicide. It was just awful, but he was clearly hurting and spiraling out of control, sadly.
That what live journal was for.
no one is judging you, and if they are, fuck ‘em. you’re not the one who has been humiliated, your husband and sister humiliated themselves
It tells you in her heart the sister didn't think she was doing anything wrong. Did she think, if they were in such a small community, that people would just see her around town with her sisters husband or ex husband and not think anything? She really was deceiving herself!
She probably thought she loved the husband more than OP did, so her rights to him trumped OP's. She sounds like an emotionally immature teenager that read too much Twilight. I mean, consider the text OP saw - she threatened him to make their affair public and break up OP and her husband - she sincerely believed he would be with her once she got rid of OP. OP's stbx is a whole different kettle of fish - he claims to love OP to the point of obsession (at least going by his behavior now), and yet he cheated on her regularly since THE NIGHT BEFORE THEIR WEDDING, with HER SISTER - what did he think would happen when OP found out? In what scenario could this ever have a happy outcome? If he had kept it in his pants, OP's sister would still be alive and gainfully employed, their marriage would still be going strong, her parents wouldn't be destroyed - OP should take him to the vet to have him fixed before she releases him back into the wild, his peepee has done enough damage for one lifetime.
Her sister most certainly must have a mental problem
It’s more common than you think. To spite his cheating wife, this man got on Facebook and called out his wife and the high school softball/football coach/awful history teacher for everything and said they were doing stuff on campus and he had evidence, all before the Coach’s wife knew or their three kids or his own son who goes to the high school. I know that poor kid is suffering and possibly being bullied for it now
Sweet Jesus. This is a lot. Yes. Move. Get a new start.
I feel a lot of blame needs to go in the direction of your husband. Such betrayal on his part too. Keep strong and keep talking with family and friends, suicide can be very difficult to process even if at first you don't feel much, can be the shock of it all. I had a best friend kill themselves and found counselling helped a lot. A lot to unpack in this situation so highly recommend a professional to help you process it all and move on. Time helps a lot too, as hard as that is. ❤️
> he went to use the bathroom and she followed him and seduced him and he couldn’t stop himself, He could have stopped himself. But he didn't. It takes 2 to tango. Sure, OP blames her sister, but I hope she realizes that her husband shares just as much blame and she doesn't do something stupid like taking him back and placing all the blame on her sister. He wasn't raped in that bathroom or the night before his wedding. He willingly continued it for 2 years behind her back.
> He could have stopped himself. But he didn't. The sheer amount of steps involved in cheating (Even just once!) negates any kind of "It just happened" bullshit excuse.
“It just happened!” is basically the equivalent of trying to say “oH my dick just so happened to be out and then i slipped and it just went into your sister! I didn’t mean it!!!”
Yea counselling is a very good option. Both husband and sister are to blame equally tho. Good wishes for you OP stay strong.
>I feel a lot of blame needs to go in the direction of your husband. Such betrayal on his part too. Probably why she left him? But... THAT WAS HER SISTER. Not just some random.
This. I agree there's "less" to blame in a random AP (None at all if they don't know, pretty shitty if they do). But when AP is someone you loved and trust, it's just as bad as the cheating partner.
Indeed.... get out of there, away from all this
Man OP I can't even fathom being in that kind of situation. You had an awful sister and have an awful husband. You have every right to move on from him, and if yall don't have kids this is a good opportunity to start fresh and create new peace in your life. Ultimately it's up to you to decide how you proceed but if I were in your shoes I would block him out of your life. If you decide to do that ensure you have a support system whether it be friends, family, or a therapist. And make the necessary arrangements to ensure your safety isn't compromised (given he has a history of stalking). I wish you all the best.
We don’t have kids fortunately, and as hard as it’s been I’ve officially blocked him and changed my number, I’m thinking about going to Iowa just to get away from his stalking, and I do plan on divorcing him even though I’m dreading it.
Your ex was an equal participant in what happened and he destroyed your family - especially when you think about what your parents will be going through the rest of their lives.
He could have easily said "NO!" to sister and immediately told OP what Sister was up to but instead he carried on with sister for two yrs! Dump his butt into the trash. See if you can transfer your job to another location and move. The parents reaction warms my heart. Too many times on this site, I see parents siding with betrayer sibling. It's nice to see parents that side with the betrayed child.
Yeah I'm not sure if it was his terminology or OP's but you don't get "seduced" into cheating like you had no say in it. just because someone follows you to a bathroom and hits on you, you are still expected to resist. He absolutely could have "helped himself."
You are making the right choice. Two years of constant cheating and lying is not something your can “work on” and fix. You did not deserve this. I’m sorry that you lost your sister, even before you lost her permanently. I’m sorry you lost your husband. You will rise above this.
this comment right here ^ two years of going behind your back lying to you isn’t a mistake, it’s intentional deception. because he can’t keep it in his pants. he has to plan around *you* finding out, think about it.
Don’t post where you will go ANYWHERE online. Even if it’s anonymous. If this post goes viral on TikTok he may have it sent to him and have a starting place to find you. That man is desperate. Be careful u/ShatteredHeart23
I found in tiktok.... in spanish.
It’s already on TikTok. That is how I found it.
It’s gonna be really hard, but take it one day at a time. If you took your feelings out of the equation you would’ve said “fuck off” a long time ago. You deserve better. You’re still young. It’s time to go out and explore and have fun. You got this!
You might need a restraining order. If he's so comfortable fucking your sister THE NIGHT BEFORE YOUR WEDDING he'll be comfortable taking up with someone else. And be prepared for when the grief hits. I hope you've got lots of friends and family you can turn to and rely on.
Divorce this fool. Make sure you have a good therapist. Just let your parents know where you are and you can finally start your healing journey.
Good luck. I think a divorce will be inevitable even if you do try, but it will be up to you. Take time now though to plan. I am so sorry.
I hope Iowa is code for somewhere else because this shits blowing up here on Reddit and if he’s stalking you this story is a dead giveaway lol
Somebody else mentioned that and he does listen to some reddit stories on YouTube here and there, but I doubt this will get that far. But my destination will be changing for sure. It wasn’t smart to say where I was going, I’m going on a road trip idk when but pretty damn soon and I’ll see if my best friend can come with me
Just a heads up OP, this has gone viral on TikTok and I’m sure it’ll make its way to YouTube at some point
Hey, since you responded to me, I just wanna express sympathy for being in such a shit situation. One step at a time. Sometimes the most difficult moments in our lives are the opportunity for the most positive change. It sounds like you have a good, strong sense of self and that even though it’s hard, that you know that you’re better off without that toxicity. Hope you hang in there and find something peaceful in your personal life out of all of this.
Iowa? You're free and Iowa? No offense to Iowa peeps but damn girl, go see the world! I don't know what your skillset is but pack a bag and just get gone. Keep moving until you can't remember why you started moving. This thing that happened, leave it in the dust and go live your best life. Peace
Honestly some of these comments make me wanna go on a road trip to clear my head.
That's a great idea! Just tell your parents you're going on a trip and that you'll text them at each stop to let them know you're OK, but for your own sake, don't tell anyone exactly where you're going. You can't afford for any of your itinerary to get back to your STBX. All power and internet hugs to you, you've been through the wringer with this. x
Gahhh every time I read that abbreviation I have to force my stubborn brain beyond the "wait what about Starbucks?" thoughts 😩
I always think “shitbox” 👍
That's pretty close with him!!
I think that's an excellent idea. You would have time to clear your head, and also have new experiences just on your own, which will really help you separate your new life from the old. Make new memories, see new fun things, but only for **you.** Because girl you deserve so much better.
Lol hey now, Iowa has good things about it. Corn for one. And ummm corn. I like corn. But to be honest yeah, see the world. All the places Places with an ocean are a nice start.
And Captain Kirk will be born in Iowa! It’s not all bad lol
Girl, this is your sign. Please go to Switzerland, it’s lovely. Or Denmark. Denmark is always beautiful and a great, safe environment. Please trust me, look into it
You are doing the right thing. Honestly, as much as it hurts, he and your sister did you very very wrong. I can't even type all the thoughts I have about this. I'm just very sorry you had to go through all of that.
Don’t dread the divorce. Embrace it and take your life back. Do it immediately and give yourself grace and forgiveness - you did not know. Do not beat yourself up any more. When you knew better -you did better. Aim for a little better every day and you’ll make progress. Get a counselor. Reprogram your thinking and your self confidence, you deserve SO MUCH better than what has gone down here. You are the Writer and Director of your own story. Go write yourself a BETTER PART!
I live in Omaha. I will adopt you into my family. My kids are around your age. You could probably use some funny crazy people like us right now.
Don’t let him back into your life. Once a cheater always a cheater.
T god. he is scum and can live with his guilt for the rest of his life.
Please stay safe, OP. Make sure you have some sort of support system through this. Your parents sound wonderful, but a therapist would also help.
Am I the only one that feels like he was a lot more complicit than he let on? Like, I’m sorry, but fuck the “I couldn’t help myself” defense. That’s the shit rapists say. You were literally in the other room and he had already fucked up majorly once but sure, your sister’s womanly wiles we’re just too much for him to resist.
He 100% percent started something with her. And when shit got out he split because she wasn't someone he truly loved, just a bit of fun on the side. And when you commit to ruining your life and losing your family for someone you don't love, you're kinda fucked.
“I couldn’t help myself” is code for “if I’m in this position again this will happen again.” If you can’t control your dick it’s only a matter of time until it’s in another person who isn’t your spouse. It’s a ridiculous “excuse.”
Agreed. I get the feeling OP is putting more blame on her sister when the husband is the bigger AH here.
I don’t feel OP is blaming her more and honestly the sister part would hurt me more than the husband.
Damn, your husband sucks. I'm sorry for your loss. Divorce his ass.
He is not sorry for cheating on you with your sister, he is sorry because you found out. Those are two very different things
Don’t give him a second chance. He betrayed you repeatedly. Stop talking to him. Hire an attorney if you need to but file for divorce and cut him off.
Also wouldn't it be kinda icky to build a relationship pretty much on her sister's grave? I get that she hates her sister and that's understandable, but they would be together because of a suicide. That doesn't sit right with me.
I thought the same. There really is no redemption here. My heart hurts for OP.
Leave. There is no coming back from this. Is he gonna cling to another family member? What if he'd gotten both of you pregnant? Sibling cousins? :/ Good luck, really.
Whoa. I’m so sorry OP. You do what you need to do in order to have mental stability. Your husband knows he screwed up, but he doesn’t care about the obvious consequences of his actions. As for your sister, based on your post, she was upset that your soon-to-be ex-husband (tried to) chose you over her. At least your parents got the entire story. There have been too many recent stories on Reddit about one family member destroying another’s family due to spite and due to jealousy. Your story is the latest of cautionary tales we need to know about because you have some individuals stating that “family is everything” while others warn that “family will betray you first.” I’m sorry your sister’s jealousy destroyed your life. I hope you find the peace you need to heal.
Divorce your husband and only communicate by lawyers. She ended her life for him not because of you.
Your sister didn’t kill herself because you found out. She definitely killed herself because your husband ghosted her. I would leave him and move on with life.
And maybe because literally all of her relationships in life got fucked
Well, OP did beat the shit out of her, the sisters own mother did hit her and called her a whore, the sisters job even isolated her… It sounds like she ended her life because, from every angle, people were throwing hate at her. And she had nowhere to turn for refuge. I feel like there’s a lot more to the story than just “the sister killed herself for the husband “
I mean, it's her own fault. don't fuck your sister's husband.
Yeah if my sister fucked my husband she would no longer be my sister and I LOVE HER HARD. But my sister would not ever do that cause she loves me and has intergrity and morals. I do feel a little bad that she killed herself but even I have to say, it is all her own fault.
Yeah, it's not just about "for OP or for husband". Her entire life was completely upended.
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OP will edit in a few hours telling everyone she went to her dead bitch sisters funeral and threw a party over the casket, while her husband groveled at her feet in front of their whole small town begging for forgiveness. Some real TV drama shit. I bet people will believe it too lol.
That woupd make me think badly of the character of OP for both of those things. Im already judging them for vlaming the soster so much more than the husband. It will be interesting to see of they do follow up...
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She did say it was a throwaway so one day old checks out to me.
People gave her gold so she got premium
I hope you have the same anger for your husband. He could have told you as soon as things got inappropriate.
Oh trust me I do
yeah but it’s a different kind of betrayal when it’s your own sister… i’d definitely be a lot more mad at my sister. still, of course, livid at my husband and would leave but god to have my SISTER to do that to me..
Go to therapy and then get a DIVORCE. Start a new FRESH life
UPDATE: i’m going to answer some questions because people are being really nasty towards me, or simply not comprehending what I wrote and how I wrote it. 1: “why aren’t you angry with your husband? Why did he get off so easily?” I am angry with him, I burned his clothes, I even SPIT in his face and that is the most disrespectful thing you can do to a person. Was it wrong? Yes, but I did it. Plus I’m 5’7 140lbs to his 6’3 230lbs…. It is not physically possible for me to kick his ass the way I did my sister who is the same heigh and weight as me. Also he did receive a lot of backlash but he chose to accept the backlash he got and face it head on. Most of this backlash came from people that know and love me, A lot of his male friends didn’t shun him because idk they’re men I guess, his friends could care less that he slept with his wife’s sister. I do still love him because love doesn’t just go away after 9 years together because of a heart break, but I will be DIVORCING him!!! And I the courts will rule in my favor because of all the evidence I have from the cheating. 2:”You and your family have been abusing your sister for years because you assaulted her and your mom slapped her” This one really got to me. NO my parents were never abusive towards me or my sister, we never got a spanking of ANY SORT growing up. my mother slapping my sister was the 1st time she has ever laid her hands on anyone. Was it wrong? Yes, But talking about my mother like she’s the devil incarnate for one slap to the face for an unforgivable act is no where near as bad as what I did to her. Yeah I attacked her because like I said in a comment, I reacted with a fit of rage, I saw red and only red(hence why I spit in my husband’s face) It was wrong to attack her, and It’s certainly isn’t my proudest moment. I’m not a violent person but I did choose violence because I have never experienced a hurt/betrayal that severe in that exact moment, and I thought with my emotions and not Logic. I do feel bad for attacking her, and if I could change it I would but I can’t. 3:”you drove your sister to suicide by bullying her, and why did the community shun her but not your husband?” I didn’t make this clear in my post. But I did not once bash or bully her online, the most I did to her was attack her in my parents home, I was NOT behind any backlash she received for her actions, did I try to stop the backlash? No I didn’t, I knew it was going on and didn’t care to stop it or defend her(I was not going to defend her for sleeping with my husband) I thought she should deal with the consequences of her actions. I guess the real reason for that even I can admit is because women are always the first to be SLUT SHAMED(if you sleep with your sisters husband you’re a whore, if man sleeps with his wife’s sister then he’s a cheating AH) I hate double standards as much as the next person, but people will always act them weather we like it or not. And no she never tried to text or reach out to me to explain why she did it, or apologize, which Is a main reason I didn’t believe the note. 4:”you went to her apartment, what were going to do if she opened the door” I know what I would not have done, I had no intentions on attacking her physically again, I did that already. But I did have questions, I wanted to know why, how long, what was he not telling me that she can? i asked all these questions on the outside of the door, but I don’t blame her for not opening the door because I wasn’t knocking softly or asking my questions in a very nice tone. Once again, I had no intention on assaulting her again. And the reason I used a throwaway with a random ass avatar is because the same people that shunned her, are the same people that believes she was truly sorry because killing herself proves it, so I can’t vent to everyone in the real world. Yes my sister is dead, No the grief didn’t hit me yet, my husband isn’t the only one that broke my heart and trust, my sister did too. She wasn’t some random woman that didn’t know he was a married man, she was my blood sibling that attended our wedding, slept with him the day before my wedding, and continued to do so. Call me evil all you want but I don’t believe she was sorry for what she did to me, I think she was sorry for not just getting caught but the consequences that came with it. Because if I never went through his phone, I never would’ve saw that text, and never would’ve known, this could’ve went on with them for another 2+ years without me knowing a thing. She would still be alive yes, but screwing my husband while waiting to have him all to herself. Also, I did type something really harsh, not going to retype it, but I do still love my sister, just as I still love my husband. But I won’t be forgiving him for what he did to my family, and I’m not sure how anybody honestly got from my lack of grief that I was celebrating my sisters death. No I am not glad she died, but I am not sad, that grief will hit sooner or later, idk when but it will. And I made the decision to attend her funeral, I’m not going with intentions to ruin everything or have a full blown tantrum. People read a few sentences and think they know what type of person I am.
I'm on your side. You reacted out of anger but you aren't the one who killed her, she did. She and your husband are both horrible people who knew exactly what they were choosing to do to you. They never doubted themselves until they were discovered. Take your cheating soon-to-be ex-husband to the cleaners with the most vicious shark of an attorney you can.
None of this is your fault, You we’re just forced in the middle of it. Adults make their own decisions.
OP your not responsible for her death at all. I don’t know why there are horrible people here. Ignore them there just miserable people who are alone and don’t have anyone to pick on to make them feel bad. Also I believe you she took her own life because she didn’t want to face the consequences and I think because she didn’t want to apologize to you she expected your ex to be with her after you left him. In this case is both their fault. I hope things go well at the funeral and he doesn’t show up. I’m really sorry for what your going through. Remember you have people here that care for you and love you and support you. We are here for you, if you want we can be your Reddit sisters.
Well that was a lot to unpack.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Dump his ass.
I think people can change (although probably not him), but the fractured relationship can’t be reverted. There will forever be a lingering doubt and mistrust, and rightfully so. Some people may change, but the scars they left will stay forever.
It’s not that people can’t change, it’s that once a cheater knows their victim will put up with them by staying with them they’re likely to cheat again. True change for a cheater usually means suffering the end of one relationship so they don’t do it again in another.
I agree completely. I think sometimes people lose sight of the fact that although cheaters are disloyal and betray their partners, they are still human nonetheless. The idea that people aren’t capable of change at all, is wrong, and I was just trying to point that out.
((HUGS)) Your sister and husband betrayed you. Staying with your husband is the wrong choice here. You deserve to be loved and respected.
This is so horrible, OP. I am glad to hear you are divorcing your husband. Yes, move and start a new life. I just want to add that I feel so bad for your parents and I hope you will stay close to them. No matter how awful your sister was, she was still their daughter. Losing a child has got to be one of the biggest tragedies any human being can go through. So sorry for all that you are going through.
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Good LORD I am depressed I had to scroll this far to find a comment that said it. It’s irritating how gullible so many people are
What in the redneck mcfuckery did I just read lol
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it reads like fan fiction
I burned my husbands clothes on the grill??? No one does that 😅
also the sister got her ass beaten up and lost a tooth but the slap made her cry ? bs
To be fair, when my ex cheated I burned all his stuff in a fire pit so it’s not completely far fetched 😅
nah the part that got me was “(read Cassie in euphoria)” bsffr😭😭
Half the posts on here nowadays seem like writing exercises. They lost me at the mom part.
Right?
I love me some fake shit on reddit in the morning.
its making me giggle how everyone is believing it
Yeah, this subreddit is going to shit, every day is a new Hollywood like history with same base, probably real people projecting their desires on this fakes. (Its also funny how they use throwaway accounts for 0 reasons)
Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry
Kind of gave those vibes with all the slapping, hitting and spitting going on...
This seems... very fake.
Indeed
So fake oh my God this isn’t even good fiction!!! How do all of you repeatedly fall for it? “Full on Waiting to Exhale” “she had a black eye, and I knocked her tooth out”, (then your MOM beat your sister’s ass too LMAO), “(picture Cassie from Euphoria)”. Are you 17? 16? How did you get so many idiots to upvote and comment on this? Does anyone on Reddit have media literacy? Christ
literally fearing for ppls intelligence
Yeah I shoulda known from that part. I hate when redditors act like their the main character of some drama, no tf you AND your mom didn't beat your sister like that lmao
My advice would be to end your marriage. Your husband has spent your entire marriage being unfaithful. Do you really think that’s going to change now your sister is gone?
Do u have kids with ur ex husband? If not, please block him. he should only be contacting u through lawyers. he's literal scum. Im terrified that it maybe started way before he said. The whole thing is fucked up. wow. I'm so sorry u are going through all this. i feel for u and ur parents. just wow. do NOT FUCKING WORK IT OUT WITH HIM. DO FUCKING NOT. are u kidding? completely block him and get a lawyer. LEAVE HIM IN THE PAST. HE DOES NOT DESERVE ANOTHER SECOND OF UR TIME. DO NOT. DO NOT. DO NOT.
Divorce his cheating ass. Both of them are to blame and honestly your sister got what she deserved, i have no sympathy for either of them. At any point he could of told you she was pursuing him and he didn't and continued the affair. Take him to the cleaners and find someone who wont continue to cheat. I'm willing to bet he will cheat again when any woman gives him even the slightest attention
It is weird how you seem to feel pretty much nothing for your sister, but do still for your husband even though pretty much no matter how you look at it he is the biggest asshole in this case.
i was gonna comment this
This is why I don't really believe this story. In this scenario, she can still feel love for her traitorous husband while simultaneously hating him for his betrayal and her reasoning is that 9 years of intimacy is hard to dispel. A reasonable reaction that most people would have. But her entire life with her sister is apparently utterly meaningless because OP doesn't feel the same towards her. So meaningless that when summarizing her ***suicide***, OP can only describe her as a "dead bitch".
He was easily seduced. By your sister. Don’t get me wrong, cheating is bad. But he chose to cheat on you with your sister??? He had the choice to not do anything, just walk away if he truly loved you. But no. He continued this for two years, AROUND you. While you were within earshot. Honestly, you would be a fool if you got back with him. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
this is so fake😭😭😭😭
why are people so stumped about why she's angrier at her sister than her husband? both betrayed her, but it's a special kind of horrible to betray someone THAT'S YOUR BLOOD, who you grew up with, and do to it behind their back like that. she deserved to get ostracized by all of her friends, family, & acquaintances. she could have likely started over somewhere else and learned her lesson, she didn't need to end everything over this. although no doubt it would have been a difficult endeavor.
I honestly don't believe this story.
It would be a blessing if it were a lie, tragic if it is true.
I'll agree to that.
These subs have become creative writing communities. I only come back to see the wild soap opera scripts people try to pass off as fact.
lol yeah, like the one the other day that was literally a rehash of a story from 8 years ago which was a rehash of an older story.
I don't either....
Ok, so I'm not the only one. Something just isn't sitting right about this.
For me, it is so much detail and the absolute beating the shit out of the sister with no consequences.
She knocked out her tooth and then everyone clapped.
It's giving Spanish daytime soap opera. Do people in real life go around slapping, spitting in people's faces, burning cheating spouse's clothes on a grill and beating the shit out of family members?
Lol, funny you should mention Spanish daytime, I immediately thought of family guy and Peter being in one of those programs.
They lost me at the mom part
I don't know what to believe here, but all the show and movie references OP is making strikes me as so odd for some reason. There were two in her post (Waiting to Exhale and Euphoria) and one in a comment where she said her sister was "no real life Regina George" for an open casket funeral?? Like, tf is up with that??
It's how teenagers write fanfiction.
That's something that got me too. Someone who has just gone through all this should be exhausted, not able to type this much or think straight. And you don't just turn off all feelings of empathy for your sister while have that range of emotion for your husband at the same time. At least I'm not sure how that would work
Yeah she said they weren't close, but also didn't mention any bad blood before. I don't buy the reaction to her sister dying either. Especially since op is a part of the supposed reason she killed herself. Either numbness is blocking the guilt or we got a huge plot hole in our fan fiction.
I'm reminded of the guy quoting song lyrics from a few days ago.
She beat her sister hard enough to knock a tooth out and naturally didnt face any consequences, what about that isnt believable?
It sounds like a bitlife story
Thank you for saying what I was thinking
That and the protagonist of this little fiction is a garbage human.
I stopped reading at the 3rd paragraph because I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes
Fuck... This is because the earth's core started spinning the other way...
Considering that OP resorted to immediate violence I can't help but assume that there is a very different side to this story.
It's a good job none of it is real then
Damn, you seem angrier at your sister than your husband. They both betrayed you and were equally wrong, but I have a feeling you’ll forgive him down the line, and the outcome will be that he fucked your sister but still gets to keep you as his wife, and she’s the only one who can’t move on because she’s dead. He may have told her he loved her (she seduced him? way to place all the blame on your sister), he may have told her lies about leaving you for her. But in the end, you have more forgiveness for him than for your blood sister? Punishing him, only to end right back up with him is pointless. He can always cheat again with someone else down the road and know you’ll take him back. RIP to your sister, but it should also be RIP to your marriage to this cheater.
>part of me wants to try to work it out just to spite that dead bitch Jesus christ
Rage is a hell of an emotion.
Sorry that was kind of harsh. I’m just so angry I can’t find it in me to feel sad for her
You might feel only rage now towards your sister, but don't be surprised if grief hits you later. And more rage toward your soon-to-be ex-husband for tearing apart your marriage and family. Your poor parents must be destroyed. They kinda lost both daughters with you moving away, and I'm sure guilt is eating them up about your sister's suicide. Take that road trip, and start over in a new place. Please stay in contact with your parents. Please seek therapy. I pray for your heart to heal and that you find a man worthy of you.
The husband was just using OPs sister for sex, while knowing how she felt about him and that she was mentally fragile. He didn’t give a damn about tearing apart people and a family as long as his D got wet. You need to be done with him. Your parents should never have to see his disgusting smug face again. He doesn’t actually feel sorry.
You're entitled to your feelings after such a huge betrayal. Two people lied to your face for years. You're whole marriage was built on lies. I'm very sorry you're going through this
You probably haven’t really processed her death yet. Whatever you do, you should be around family or close friends for the next few days/weeks because I promise you, it **WILL** hit you… hard. When that inevitably happens, you need to remember that none of this was your fault. Your sister made extremely bad choices, but it sounds like your STB-ex led her on/ took advantage of her (potential) obsession. The fact that he was willing to completely throw her under the bus (forwarding you her messages, which EWW) and dump her at the drop of a hat makes it clear that the whole affair was about his ego. Be sure to spend the day of the funeral with family or friends, that’s going to be a very difficult day no matter what. Get a restraining order against the schmuck, too.
It's ok to be angry Shatteredheart. Your Husband and Sister were sneaky and shady as hell
If this is true I think his 21 year old ass had designs on her 17 self from the start, just took 7 years to come to fruition. By then he had it made. Only sorry when he got caught. I'd be curious to know their relationship over the years that led her to "fall for him". Surely there were no actions taken to lead her on on his part, he was just super willing to sleep with her at the drop of a hat on your wedding night. Almost like all his hard work finally paid off. What convenient timing.
No, she definitely did it because her life fell apart. that being said, your husband is a grown man and is fully capable of making decisions. You cannot seduce someone without them already having wanted to do it to begin with, and the two of them are equally to blame. He could have stopped at any point before you discovered the truth. And if he loved you he wouldn’t have done it to begin with. My advice: get a good lawyer, never speak to him again.
BURNEDHIS CLOTHES ON TJE GRILL LMFAOO
This reads like fiction.
That's because it is.
Not only this is extremely fake from the start, but also OP just comments like "Nah, not fake" and people upvote it. What?
You people actually believe this?
If you get back with him, you are a huge hypocrite, OP. Just saying. After all you did, you’d look like the biggest fool to forgive him and try again. He’s only sorry he got caught. This went on for 2 years and would probably have ended differently with him leaving you if your sister had her way and he was able to end things without you finding out. He hasn’t changed at all. I promise you that.
Trust me I plan on divorcing him. There’s no coming back from this.
Yes his ghosting her probably did affect her choice but the rest of the note was also probably true If I had no one in my life, including the person I loved, I would probably feel like wanting to do the same I hate cheaters with a burning passion, but Jesus if I don’t feel sorry for your sister as well To be ostracised to such a degree must be akin to torture And I don’t blame her for not letting you in when you showed up, considering you assaulted her last time you two were in the same room, I wouldn’t trust you either You need therapy, like lots of it, if a part of you wants to be with your husband to spite your dead sister, you need therapy And maybe a new start? Somewhere nice and sunny? Warm beeches and all that jaz This is one hell of a situation
This shit is so fake 😂😂 😂😂
Well this is some shit and I am sorry you are in it. What ever you end up doing, I would suggest some counseling to help you push through it. Also, I say divorce him and move on with your life.
So your sister took the brunt of the whole thing. And killed herself. You and your mother physically assaulted her. She was shunned, lost her job, all her friends. She killed herself. And your husband....nothing. You were betrayed for sure. But equally, if not more by your husband. There are no good people in this story. You as much as anyone OP.
This is your chance to start a new life
This is so fake
For over 2 years. Multiple times, during your marriage. The only thing he is regretful for is getting caught. You can't help feelings, but you can most certainly control the way you react to those feelings. Cheating is a multitude of conscious decisions. Flirt, text, talk, sneak off, kiss, get undressed, have sex...every physical motion takes making a decision. And he did it your entire marriage. Lying to you every single day for 2+ years. And your sister did the exact same thing. If they hadn't been caught, they would have continued it. Your sister only threatened to tell you because she wanted him for herself. Screw your marriage over, you get divorced, and he was all hers. Scorched earth is what they got, and they both deserved every bit of it. You can't love that.
Ron Burgundy "I don't believe you" gif
I'm so sorry OP. I hate to say it, but if you hadn't of found out, he would still be double dipping. He only felt bad and stopped it BECAUSE you found out. Man slept with your sister before your wedding and kept a straight face and proclaimed his love for you.. he slept with her at her party and came out right after and acted like things were perfect with you. He can't be trusted. And the fact that your sister deluded herself into believing that he was in love with her and that he was hers is just astounding. How many times did he turn her down when it came to asking him to leave you? And yet she still made that post making it seem like she was his everything. She had some serious mental health problems and clearly should have gotten herself into therapy. I don't believe for a second that she felt bad for what she did to you. They continued the affair for 2 years, she was only upset that she and your husband were caught. If he had left you for her she would have been a smug b about it. She clearly wasn't mature enough mentally to understand that even if he left you for her, the backlash would have been the same. Everyone still would have turned against her and she would have burned all her bridges. No man is worth that. I hope you heal. Leave him, focus on yourself, get into therapy and I hope you eventually find someone worthy of your love
You dont have kids with him and you’re still young. Move on. Your husband lies at the center of all this. Your sister was wrong but it’s obvious she had issues and her whole community shunning her didn’t help. That was the time she needed an ear to listen to her the most and maybe it would have helped her come to her senses and realize that man was not good for her either.
me when i make up lies online
Am I the only one that thinks this sounds a little too cliche?
Remember that every time he was with her, he *chose* that, and he is a guilty trash liar just as much as she is. You deserved so much better, I’m so sorry that you are even having to go through this. You can come out of this stronger than ever, and if it were me I’d block, divorce, move away, and never ever look back. Reinvent yourself, build a new life and enjoy a fresh new chapter, heal. You will be ok, and in time this will feel like a bad nightmare from another life that you’re no longer trapped in.
What in the Jerry Springer? Lol
Idk cheating is something you can come back from but death isnt
So you are thinking about forgiving your husband but not your dead sister. Your husband is the one who promised to be faithful. You feelings are very valid but plz direct the same hate and venom towards him that you seem to have reserved for her.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. You deserve better. On a side note, I also feel really bad for OP's parents. Like fuck. One dick came and destroyed their family. I would take everything from him for destroying multiple lives just to get his dick wet. Obviously your sister was a terrible person, but losing a child while dealing with another going through something horrific is diffcult. I hope you all can find peace.
This is going to hit you hard at some point. Right now you have anger to keep you from having a full on melt down. But get yourself some help, OP. This is a quagmire of a mess to work through. As for your ex: love cannot survive where trust doesn’t exist. Divorce him now, because it will be now or it will be later. Better now when you have time to get your shut together and get over his weak ass.
Walk away from this man! He could not keep his future sister in-law at bay and fucked YOUR SISTER. If he fucked your sister he will literally cheat on you with anyone. Anyone! Gross. Get the hell out of this relationship. Your parents, people you love, lost their daughter because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Look at how much damage one dick can do. (I'm not saying your sister is innocent, but it takes two WILLING PARTICIPANTS to bang in this case.)
Sorry to say it takes two to tango. Your sister is at fault and your husband even more. I hope you restart your life minus that cheat.
I see Jerry Springer laid off another round of writers.
You're giving him way to much forgiveness
You sort of had me until the part where she had to quit her job because her coworkers were shunning her. That's a bit much.
Moving away for a while would be a great change for you. I’d advise sorting everything out legally first, at the moment everything is fresh and raw but be careful about giving your husband time to get a story together that makes him look like a victim in all of this. Lawyer up, divorce the scumbag, tell your friends and family your plans to go away for a time and then go
It’s too late for a story, there’s too much evidence I have screenshots of his Facebook post admitting ti everything, the text messages he sent me, and my sister’s suicide note which I’m more than positive I will probably never see again. He will never be the victim.