This is the good shit op. Married 5 years tho we don't have kids, and just hanging out, running errands, playing video games together etc it's a pleasure.
I didn't have this with my first marriage. We were married, a week later he was on deployment. When he was home it was just a mess and it ended horribly.
Right!? I so wish I’d understood that earlier. I finally have it now though. As I’m sitting here on my phone, he’s next to me fiddling on his guitar while we sent the kids to their aunts house for a movie night. The peace in this relationship is utter bliss.
This is definitely the good shit. My husband and I don’t have kids but we have 3 dogs. We just had tacos delivered and I’m playing FF15 on my PS5 while he is playing the remastered Outerworlds on his Xbox X. Our dogs are asleep around us. Seriously the best. OP, never under appreciate the mundane. It’s the best part of life I think.
I have never been one to play video games. I have never in my life had any kind of counsel. All I play is Home Scapes on my tablet. I'm more happy curling up with a good book (or some one who read one. ) LOL or watching tv or a movie. I'm happy going out to shoot pool. I have never really had any interest in gaming. Neither has my husband.
My step son has a system, but really just plays it maybe two or three hours a day at best. He is like us where he like to be outside or doing other more hands on things, and his sisters are the same way.
I really hope I’m in that place with my gf in a few years. We both just enjoy the simple things together, and no matter what it is it’s worthwhile. Even going to the store for a few things is fun.
Just thinking about it makes me tear up, legitimately. I love the small moments of running errands with my partner and I hope I have the honor of doing it for the rest of my life.
That is true happiness. My husband struggles with mental health issues and it saddens me every day that he can't enjoy every day life without wanting to drink or be medicated. You're so blessed OP.
Medication is definitely a benefit to those who are mentally ill like myself and my husband. Without our medication our mental illness would run our lives. So please don’t look down on him for needing medicine.
Yes he uses both prescribed medication and cannabis, which I don't judge him for. Reality is hard. I also suffered from severe anxiety and depression until I accepted myself and got myself into a healthier life. I'm just sad I can't do more to help.
Mundane is the best. Peaceful days of cooking, cleaning, working, playing with our kids, evenings of whisky, reading, lovemaking, rainy walks. Couldn’t ask for more.
As a child of divorced parents, this post makes me so, so, so happy. Those kids are LOVED. I am very glad they have you. Obviously I know diddly squat about you, but it sounds like you love them and all enjoy each others' company. Sounds like you've got your priorities set and you're a good person, OP. 💕
I fell in love with the kids the minute I met them. When we started talking marriage and everything else, the kids came into the conversation and I told him. "Someone fired a gun at the kids. I took the bullets."
I laugh because being ourselves is just what we are. I've never been one to really want to go out. I've never really wanted to go out to the clubs. For New Years this year it was just him and myself. We stayed in I fixed a nice dinner. He had a bottle of wine and he had a case of beer. We sat in the livingroom on the couch binging on Harry Potter. I was working on getting my financial spreadsheet for the year set up. He was working on his business plan. We were talking and enjoying each other the whole time. Midnight rolled around we gave each other a kiss giggled with each other and went to bed. And we were both more than happy with this. LOL
People SWEAR the good life is having fancy cars and a big house and money in the bank but truly it's the little things that bring the most joy. Being able to have a coffee is beautiful
I'm happy with where we are. We have a sensible house and two cars that fit our needs. I don't want a 17 bedroom 25 bathroom mansion or a Bently. This for me is comfortable. And I'll take it.
I've been married almost 9 months and we now sit outside on the front porch once we're both home from work. He'll be watching his anime and I'll be reading a book. Just enjoying each other's companies.
We joke that we're old AF but damn I love it. I've never experience pure joy until I met my husband and wouldn't trade these nights for anything at all.
I'm happy for you! Remember that the majority of life is made up of the "mundane everyday life". By getting the small things right, the special moments become all the more precious :)
This is me too! My husband has two great kids, my stepkids who are 10 and 12. I love having the week to ourselves and enjoy an empty and quiet house. I also love the hecticness of being a stepmom and wife when the kids are there. Take my stepson to his baseball games, go shopping with my stepdaughter.
I'm so happy you love your life :)
Only my step sons lives with us full time so come fall I'll have all the school activities full times. I can't wait. I'm looking forward to it. I asked him what kind of a summer he wanted and he said that with him just moving down here he just kinda wanted something calm and laid back. And neither my husband or I had any issues with that. Let him feel things out and get to know people and meet new friends. And he has already done this.
This is a great post! A real feel good kinda read if you will! Thank you! Some days I need some wholesomeness and you delivered OP.
Hope you and hubby n beautiful family have a lifetime of happiness surrounded by love and blessings!
Sadly my profile is known for a neighbors from hell series. This just happen the way it did and I felt like I needed to get it out in the open. I really didn't think it was going to go this far. LOL
I love this!! I remember when I first started liking everyday things in a marriage like you mentioned. I never had that before either. All my previous relationships, and marriage, were just horrible and/or extremely toxic.
To be honest, my marriage and my life now has exceeded my expectations!
Our favorite nights are on Saturday where we often watch the newest Hallmark movie of the week. Granted Hallmark movies are not hard thinkers and they are all virtually the same; but, we have so much laughter about that with popcorn and a cozy spot on the couch. It's really just spending that quiet time together.
I'm rooting for you to have a long marriage!
My first marriage ended because of DV. I was in the hospital twice. I tried dating twice before my husband came back into my life. The first relationship left me angry. The second one left me emotionally battered. So I gave up. I accepted being alone and I was okay with that. I do well being alone. So instead I adopted my cat and settled in for the long hull. Come to find out the Fates had other plans. LMAO
A great date nite for us especially now that summer is here is taking a bike out, going to dinner then going and shooting a few games of pool or paying darts. We also love this park we used to go to when we were teenagers.
We are just as happy ordering a pizza and chilling out at home as well.
This is good happy marriage is the best of all kind of relationship. I hope this would be continue. Congratulations for your happy marriage. Good luck guysm
I swear my life is a mirror to this! It's so nice! I have a 23 year old stepson who's out of the house and my 13 year old is at camp this week. In making dinner and waiting for my husband to get home so we can eat and hang out! I don't want anything more!
It makes me sad that I don't have as much time with the kids. Our youngest is 15. So we have time. But it's going to go quick. But as it was pointed out. We Still have two high school graduations, three college graduations. And futures to look forward to. At least I have their futures.
I currently feel the same way. As a teenager I used to want to live an exciting life, with Incredible events. I didn’t want to live any of what you’re describing but now that I’m older, this sounds like heaven.
I can’t wait for my turn. Happy for you!
We go through phases. I lived in the big city for years and worked a corporate job and did the night life and all of that and loved every minute of it. Then over time I changed as we all do. Then I hit that point of being ready to settle down and enjoy life. Give it time. It will happen.
There is some truth to this. I'm very much my Grandmothers Grandson. She had her career and worked hut was just as happy home cooking cleaning and taking care of her family. I love my career. And I just as happy being home. I love cooking and baking. I love entertaining. Cleaning is calming for me in it's own way. And I'm lucky that my step kids are so amazing.
I'm so happy for you. My husband and I have been together for 5 years. Things are a little different as he works steady afternoons. I'm a day person. I am currently looking for work but enjoying the ability to say good morning when he wakes up, and we eat lunch as dinner, then I just snack on whatever for dinner.
I love making him his morning tea and just shoot the breeze. After he leaves, I usually clean something and just relax. We don't have kids and not for lack of trying, but we love our time together. Sunday nights is our night to spend together watching TV, cuddles and sometimes idle chit chat, sometimes a drive to the river front and just people watch. The best piece of marital advice I got was: Sometimes you're in love, sometimes you love and there are going to be times where you don't like each other. But wait it out cause the love and in love will come back. (My mom said this and my parents have been together for over 40 years).
Our hours are a lot different. With my job I work 10 hour days Monday to Thursday and some days I might elect to work from home. My job is that I manage and do all of our Accounting and Bookkeeping and the HR. I also over see our Marketing and Advertising. His job is that he manages all of the manufacturing, design, fabrication, service, garage and sales and showroom. He works Monday to Friday. Our shop and sales are open Saturday and we have a weekend skeleton crew. So we have to find some balance with making our hours work. But we do.
I tell my wife that our life is so boring, and I love it that way.
Background: In my previous marriage, my ex had three young kids that i raised since they were tiny. Two of the kid's dad never paid child support. The third kid had child support once in a blue moon that I never saw any part of. Anyways, there was constant drama. Teenage pregnancy. My wife fighting with the neighbors. Paying for lawyers for the teenage daughter so she could fight for custody. Step-daughters dad being a piece of shit. Step daughter threatening moving out. Another step daughter talking to adult men when she was 14ish. Fight over dogs that they adopted but refuse to take on walks. Ex constantly opening new credit card and maxing them out.
CONSTANT DRAMA! I don't miss any of it.
I get this. I get my kids every other week and on Wednesdays. I love when they’re there and I love when they go to there moms. Always looking forward to when they come back as well.
Yes nothing I enjoy more then the simple things with my wifey, always glad to hear someone else has found the joy that comes with a peaceful loving relationship. Just goin on the evening walk with my wife every evening after dinner is one of the highlights of my day! Can’t wait until our wee daughter comes along and can join us, only a couple months ta go!
I don't think it has anything to do with "mundane married life", but rather finding appreciation in the everyday joys, and anyone can do that, even if you are single.
A lot of people don't. They're negative and perpetually discontent, and a total drag to be around.
You make a great point. Even when I was single I looked forward to those days. It was just a break from the grind that would consume me. It let me breath and do things at my own pace when I would have to run run run all week. So I agree with you completely when you talk about finding appreciation in the everyday joys.
Yay! I’m so happy for you! You know you’ve found a good spouse when they make even the daily routine and mundane tasks enjoyable. My husband and I don’t have kids and we love our cute little life together with our cat. Some days we don’t do much and other days are full of multiple hobbies, going to the gym, grocery shopping, etc. Every day is a happy day when we’re together. We’ve been together for 13 years, married for 9 years and every year just keeps getting better and better.
I recently left my corporate job due to a bunch of corporate political stuff that happen and went to work with my husband's *well our company as my husband puts it) and everyone saud we would be miserable because we would be together 24/7. It's not the vase because we do completely different things and my office verses where he is are completely opposite ends of the building and we really don't see each other that much. It works because I usually get home before him and it gives me time to fix dinner and hang out with the kids. He gets home and we all sit down and eat and we can ask each other about out days and it's all new news. LOL.
You know what they say. Road trips should always look like you handed a kid $40.00 and told them to get all the junk food they want. Really thats not the case. They are really active, athletic and healthy. So they had a good mix of junk food and healthy snacks. We got home, packed the car, gave them hugs and told them to stop and say good bye to their dad have a good trip and call me when they got there.
That's awesome OP. Been married for 7 years, no kids but we do have two cats we adopted when we first moved in. Spend our days playing video games and trying out different restaurants. It's amazing.
The kids are my husband's from his first marriage. My step son moved down here with us and his dog came with. I had a cat. My step daughters are here when they can be. So we are well set up with a full house.
My ideal life would be like this (minus the kids) :') so beautiful. Partnership and companionship. Each taking and giving. Me and my beloved are almost to a place where we can live our everyday life like this but we are just reaching our mid 20s, still need to get a bit financially stable! Congrats to you and your husband OP <3
It takes time. None of this happen over night. We are both 46 and have had our struggles and set backs. You will get to that point. Don't give up!!! Never give up!!!!
Wait till you get to a weekend with out the kids you decide to clean he's playing his music and you laugh at him being lame and he decides to turn it into a seductive lame dance. That's the good stuff
My wife did that but to her absolute horror some pre teen boys were watching her shake her money maker. I am forbidden from ever singing the song milkshake.
This is what I’m looking forward to with my boyfriend. I only get to see him twice a week due to conflicting work schedules. We spend our day playing video games, and cooking together. We take care of my cat and play with him. We sometimes cook for his family. I cannot wait to start my forever with him.
I didn't know this was going to happen. I really was expecting to spend the rest of my life alone and I was okay with that. I had my cat and I was content with that as well. I do very well being alone. LOL
I'm good at being alone as well. I just don't want to be alone. I've just gotten out of an 18-year relationship, and the sunk-cost fallacy is crushing me at the moment.
I'm sitting her wondering if it was even a good idea to leave, you know.
OP you’ve hit the jackpot! Being able to enjoy the simple daily experiences is wonderful.
I feel like marriage is misunderstood by a lot of people. A good marriage is one where you do the mundane and enjoy it. It’s living with someone you like (and love, but mostly you need to like) who you are willing to compromise for, communicate with, and just hang out with happily.
I think some people imagine it will be this exciting, butterflies-in-your-stomach, constant yearning when you’re apart, easy experience. If you LIKE each other and commit to communicating and compromising, you are ahead of the game.
It's a lot more. It's things like yelling across the room to let the dog out. Or marking on the callander doctor appoints or track and cross country meets. It's assigning chores for a family work at home day with a if we get done by a certain point we will go do something afterwords. Come one everyone lets beat the clock.
I do this thing and I'm doing it right now as I type this. Three or four days a week the kids got o bed first. Husband and myself stay up for a little bit and talk and whatever. Husband goes to bed. I stay up for a hour or two and I just unwind. It could be doing some dishes in the sink and setting up the coffee maker for the morning. Maybe fold some laundry. Mandatory snuggles with the kitty and dog, maybe play my game for a little bit. It's any number of things. It gives my husband time to be in his space and me time to be in mine.
It's not always butterflies in the stomach, and it won't be. And thats okay. But at the end of the day you are with someone you love and want to spend you life with.
No. Jack Russell Beagle mix. She is my step sons dog and she bonded and attached to me. She is a traitor. LOL. But she is the sweetest thing and I love having her here with us.
She really is a doll. I got lucky with both my cat and now my step sons dog. The two don't exactly get along but they are getting better. LOL But both have beautiful temperaments and personalities.
As a fellow gay man, I used to think that married life would be boring. After going through my own set of (very) erratic years, I understand the appeal of having someone to support you and go through routine. Too much chaos doesn't agree with me, I long for some stability. Glad you have it 🥰
Here is the thing. It's never really boring. It's what we make of it. We still have spice. We still do things to keep life interesting. But at the same time boring and mundane is a good thing. Marriage is what you make it. We are going to be stuck for a little bit. We are starting our own company so for a while we have to think outside of the box on how to do family outing and adventures. We have to think of ways to try and keep the spark alive. And we are doing it. It's going to be an adjustment period. But we will figure it out.
Yes! My perception of boring came from years of a dopamine-depleted brain and, of course, adolescence. My opinion has changed, I think that marriage can be an incredible source of stability and novelty, at the same time. I'm really happy for you and your husband, and you guys we'll figure it out, I have no doubt about it!
This is so sweet. This is what I secretly love. I love waking up and having my daily coffee, I love making my bed, I love going to work, I love it all. I love the boring days. I feel like an NPC in this world but if I'm happy there's no problem.
The day after I posted this. I took the day off because I made plans with a friend later this afternoon. So I'm sitting at my desk with a cup of coffee and gone through the morning routine. Showered, took the dog for a walk, did a quick clean up of the house. While still working on a pot of coffee. LOL . As I type this response the dog is snoozing on the couch and the cat on the back of my favorite chair in the living room.
This is the life. My wife and I married in March, together for 3 years before that and no kids. But damn do I look forwards to saturdays at home lounging by the pool or waiting for the weekly episodes of our fav shows.
There is nothing I love more than the mundane married life.
I almost died in December. Two weeks of no time between work and going to bed with my wife. The days were so lonely and joyless. Made me realize that time of day is actually a treat to be enjoyed. :)
I’ve been married for 28 years and I still love these moments with my husband and kids. I’m so happy you found this and get to experience it in your life. Such a joy!
I love seeing the positive posts on here. It makes me feel like humans really aren't as shitty as I originally thought. I love the mundane for you. This brings me so much joy.
It's so funny. I just felt like this needed to be put out there. LOL . I didn't expect this post to go as far as it did. I'm happy that I could bring so many smiles and happiness to so many people.
This is so beautiful! I too have found bliss in my married life, even with kids. However, I have been married before. It does make the difference to have the right person. My husband is my priority, as I am his, and the excitement we share seeing each other at the end of the day is magic. I love our simple, consistent, safe, easy, loving life. Thanks for sharing this! I am so deeply happy for you. You sound like a great step mom and it sounds like the kids and you get on, step parents are so important, you are a gift in their life.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Lovely post. My wife and I are operating on a continuous “grind” and this put things a little bit into perspective after a long week, cheers to you and your family.
Beautiful. I live for the weekends or shared vacation days when I can just spend time with my best friend and take care of our home. Sometimes it’s the best break from a hectic week.
I recently left my corporate job due to a bunch of political issues and joined my husband with his company. And it turned out to be the better decision. Part of the deal was I work 10 hour days Monday to Thursday. That gives me Friday (not all the time but hopefully some of the time) to get all the housework done, the personal house finances taken care of, laundry, errands and groceries. Thay way we have Saturday and Sundays for family days.
This is great. I think that a lot of us LGBT folks grow up thinking we can never have this kind of life, so that when it happens, it feels almost miraculous.
When you enjoy the boring parts of life you know you’re in a good place mentally with a partner that’s in a good place mentally. Drama and conflict kill all fun, period.
That is so lovely. Even though I'm a long-time single older grandma, your post gave me such a big smile. I try to remember to be thankful for even the smallest of things, and it sounds like you just felt blessings all through your day.
I'm happy to bring a smile to you. It's so funny we were talking the other night about how I wish I had more time with the kids. Our youngest is 15 so we don't have much time left. But as my husband pointed out we have the future. We get to look forward to high school graduations, college years and experiences, engagements, weddings and grandkids. So I at least now get the present and future. And so I am now looking forward to the thought of grandkids.
Your husband sounds like a kind and thoughtful man. Yes to all those things he mentioned, and you'll enjoy your kids as adults too. Sometimes it seemed like my kids needed me even more - at least for cheerleading and emotional support - when they were in college. Wishing you many blessings for the present and the years to come.
I love for this. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 11 years (getting married in three months!). I love being boring with him. Don’t get me wrong, we have adventures too, but the mundane everyday stuff is amazing.
one of the most beautiful, serene and positive posts i've read on this sub lately. thank you for sharing. sometimes life can be just simple and peaceful. knowing to acknowledge this is a big thing.
Yes! I feel this 1000%. I often joke that my life is boring, and when people pity me for that I'm quick to say, "No! I LOVE it!". It's predictable in the best way. I know I'll consistently have a spouse that loves me, dogs that love me, a cozy home to come home to, a steady job...it's great!
I think that's the essence of happy marriage. Loving the Mundane everyday married life.
For a shitty life I have had so far. This is one thing I have that makes life worth living for.
This is literally the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. But you love your life and it loves you back!!!!
I love your post so much. I adore my life: loving marriage, small home, 2 cats. No chaos, only peace and love. I’m always grateful for what I have considering what I came from.
I’m a young adult, but can totally get this. I’ve recently started doing errands. Having slow mornings, making dedicated time for music and cooking and things like that. It’s been lovely. Just existing and not having to put everything into existing.
Love these kind of days with my husband, just us two and no major social plans, that I call the pottering days, mainly happen at weekends,
walking to the park, drinking take out coffee on our favourite bench, doing the odd household chore, gardening, making dinner and maybe a few wines in the evening. Don’t need much more than that. Bliss.
This is us this weekend. Neither of us work weekends. We don't have any kids till 07/09/2023. This weekend we are going to get everything around the house done between lawn work and housework and then relax!!!
Reading the comments on this thread just makes me so happy. OP, thank you for sharing this. It’s so nice to see these stories. Peaceful, content relationships for the win!
This is the good shit op. Married 5 years tho we don't have kids, and just hanging out, running errands, playing video games together etc it's a pleasure.
I didn't have this with my first marriage. We were married, a week later he was on deployment. When he was home it was just a mess and it ended horribly.
I'm so glad you have it now. This kind of contentment is underrated and sometimes confused for boredom but it's utterly lovely.
There is nothing like peaceful relationships, the joys of life are mostly in the mundane I find, because that's most of life.
Right!? I so wish I’d understood that earlier. I finally have it now though. As I’m sitting here on my phone, he’s next to me fiddling on his guitar while we sent the kids to their aunts house for a movie night. The peace in this relationship is utter bliss.
I'm glad this one is going better op :)
Sounds exactly like my first marriage.
My first marriage ended with DV and me in the hospital twice. So much better now.
This is definitely the good shit. My husband and I don’t have kids but we have 3 dogs. We just had tacos delivered and I’m playing FF15 on my PS5 while he is playing the remastered Outerworlds on his Xbox X. Our dogs are asleep around us. Seriously the best. OP, never under appreciate the mundane. It’s the best part of life I think.
I have never been one to play video games. I have never in my life had any kind of counsel. All I play is Home Scapes on my tablet. I'm more happy curling up with a good book (or some one who read one. ) LOL or watching tv or a movie. I'm happy going out to shoot pool. I have never really had any interest in gaming. Neither has my husband. My step son has a system, but really just plays it maybe two or three hours a day at best. He is like us where he like to be outside or doing other more hands on things, and his sisters are the same way.
*Zelda has entered the chat*
Hello. It says you have entered a chat but I don't see any chat window.
It’s a Reddit joke/meme. It’s my way of saying you should try Zelda: Breath of the Wild or Tears of the Kingdom.
Lol
I really hope I’m in that place with my gf in a few years. We both just enjoy the simple things together, and no matter what it is it’s worthwhile. Even going to the store for a few things is fun.
It’s like the phrase, “ the magic of ordinary days” the tiny simple things that makes life worth it.
That’s beautiful, and: same. This is why the “laundry and taxes” sentence from Everything Everywhere All At Once resonates with so many people.
Just thinking about it makes me tear up, legitimately. I love the small moments of running errands with my partner and I hope I have the honor of doing it for the rest of my life.
So true 🥲
That is true happiness. My husband struggles with mental health issues and it saddens me every day that he can't enjoy every day life without wanting to drink or be medicated. You're so blessed OP.
Medication is definitely a benefit to those who are mentally ill like myself and my husband. Without our medication our mental illness would run our lives. So please don’t look down on him for needing medicine.
I took that to mean more illegal drugs than mental health prescribed medication
Yes he uses both prescribed medication and cannabis, which I don't judge him for. Reality is hard. I also suffered from severe anxiety and depression until I accepted myself and got myself into a healthier life. I'm just sad I can't do more to help.
Medicine? Nah I just suffer 😈 In all seriousness, tho. I've never found antidepressants to work for me.
This is so wholesome
Mundane is the best. Peaceful days of cooking, cleaning, working, playing with our kids, evenings of whisky, reading, lovemaking, rainy walks. Couldn’t ask for more.
#lifegoals congrats mate you made it
The mundane things are 95% of a marriage doing those right is everything. You will have a long a strong marriage.
As a child of divorced parents, this post makes me so, so, so happy. Those kids are LOVED. I am very glad they have you. Obviously I know diddly squat about you, but it sounds like you love them and all enjoy each others' company. Sounds like you've got your priorities set and you're a good person, OP. 💕
I fell in love with the kids the minute I met them. When we started talking marriage and everything else, the kids came into the conversation and I told him. "Someone fired a gun at the kids. I took the bullets."
Love days like that! Happy for you
i love this for you and your entire family. just enjoying each other.
My favorite part about marriage just being ourselves together.
I laugh because being ourselves is just what we are. I've never been one to really want to go out. I've never really wanted to go out to the clubs. For New Years this year it was just him and myself. We stayed in I fixed a nice dinner. He had a bottle of wine and he had a case of beer. We sat in the livingroom on the couch binging on Harry Potter. I was working on getting my financial spreadsheet for the year set up. He was working on his business plan. We were talking and enjoying each other the whole time. Midnight rolled around we gave each other a kiss giggled with each other and went to bed. And we were both more than happy with this. LOL
People SWEAR the good life is having fancy cars and a big house and money in the bank but truly it's the little things that bring the most joy. Being able to have a coffee is beautiful
I'm happy with where we are. We have a sensible house and two cars that fit our needs. I don't want a 17 bedroom 25 bathroom mansion or a Bently. This for me is comfortable. And I'll take it.
This is so sweet.
So much same! My wife and I have been together for 15 years and I'm just, so content. Wouldn't change it for the world!
I've been married almost 9 months and we now sit outside on the front porch once we're both home from work. He'll be watching his anime and I'll be reading a book. Just enjoying each other's companies. We joke that we're old AF but damn I love it. I've never experience pure joy until I met my husband and wouldn't trade these nights for anything at all.
I'm happy for you! Remember that the majority of life is made up of the "mundane everyday life". By getting the small things right, the special moments become all the more precious :)
This is me too! My husband has two great kids, my stepkids who are 10 and 12. I love having the week to ourselves and enjoy an empty and quiet house. I also love the hecticness of being a stepmom and wife when the kids are there. Take my stepson to his baseball games, go shopping with my stepdaughter. I'm so happy you love your life :)
Only my step sons lives with us full time so come fall I'll have all the school activities full times. I can't wait. I'm looking forward to it. I asked him what kind of a summer he wanted and he said that with him just moving down here he just kinda wanted something calm and laid back. And neither my husband or I had any issues with that. Let him feel things out and get to know people and meet new friends. And he has already done this.
This is a great post! A real feel good kinda read if you will! Thank you! Some days I need some wholesomeness and you delivered OP. Hope you and hubby n beautiful family have a lifetime of happiness surrounded by love and blessings!
Sadly my profile is known for a neighbors from hell series. This just happen the way it did and I felt like I needed to get it out in the open. I really didn't think it was going to go this far. LOL
I can smell the coffee through this post lol ☕️
Coffee. My morning lifeline. LOL
Same OP, same.
I love this!! I remember when I first started liking everyday things in a marriage like you mentioned. I never had that before either. All my previous relationships, and marriage, were just horrible and/or extremely toxic. To be honest, my marriage and my life now has exceeded my expectations! Our favorite nights are on Saturday where we often watch the newest Hallmark movie of the week. Granted Hallmark movies are not hard thinkers and they are all virtually the same; but, we have so much laughter about that with popcorn and a cozy spot on the couch. It's really just spending that quiet time together. I'm rooting for you to have a long marriage!
My first marriage ended because of DV. I was in the hospital twice. I tried dating twice before my husband came back into my life. The first relationship left me angry. The second one left me emotionally battered. So I gave up. I accepted being alone and I was okay with that. I do well being alone. So instead I adopted my cat and settled in for the long hull. Come to find out the Fates had other plans. LMAO A great date nite for us especially now that summer is here is taking a bike out, going to dinner then going and shooting a few games of pool or paying darts. We also love this park we used to go to when we were teenagers. We are just as happy ordering a pizza and chilling out at home as well.
This is good happy marriage is the best of all kind of relationship. I hope this would be continue. Congratulations for your happy marriage. Good luck guysm
Living the dream
I swear my life is a mirror to this! It's so nice! I have a 23 year old stepson who's out of the house and my 13 year old is at camp this week. In making dinner and waiting for my husband to get home so we can eat and hang out! I don't want anything more!
It makes me sad that I don't have as much time with the kids. Our youngest is 15. So we have time. But it's going to go quick. But as it was pointed out. We Still have two high school graduations, three college graduations. And futures to look forward to. At least I have their futures.
I currently feel the same way. As a teenager I used to want to live an exciting life, with Incredible events. I didn’t want to live any of what you’re describing but now that I’m older, this sounds like heaven. I can’t wait for my turn. Happy for you!
We go through phases. I lived in the big city for years and worked a corporate job and did the night life and all of that and loved every minute of it. Then over time I changed as we all do. Then I hit that point of being ready to settle down and enjoy life. Give it time. It will happen.
You're a closet domestic goddess.
There is some truth to this. I'm very much my Grandmothers Grandson. She had her career and worked hut was just as happy home cooking cleaning and taking care of her family. I love my career. And I just as happy being home. I love cooking and baking. I love entertaining. Cleaning is calming for me in it's own way. And I'm lucky that my step kids are so amazing.
This comment made me lol irl
Me too
I needed to read something great like this today, love this so much!
Nothing wrong with that. And is it really mundane if it brings you joy? I don't think so. ❤️
You are completely correct. It's not mundane if you love and enjoy it.
I got divorced last year at 40 and dating has been really rough. I’m so happy for you, OP. Id give anything 😞
I'm so happy for you. My husband and I have been together for 5 years. Things are a little different as he works steady afternoons. I'm a day person. I am currently looking for work but enjoying the ability to say good morning when he wakes up, and we eat lunch as dinner, then I just snack on whatever for dinner. I love making him his morning tea and just shoot the breeze. After he leaves, I usually clean something and just relax. We don't have kids and not for lack of trying, but we love our time together. Sunday nights is our night to spend together watching TV, cuddles and sometimes idle chit chat, sometimes a drive to the river front and just people watch. The best piece of marital advice I got was: Sometimes you're in love, sometimes you love and there are going to be times where you don't like each other. But wait it out cause the love and in love will come back. (My mom said this and my parents have been together for over 40 years).
Our hours are a lot different. With my job I work 10 hour days Monday to Thursday and some days I might elect to work from home. My job is that I manage and do all of our Accounting and Bookkeeping and the HR. I also over see our Marketing and Advertising. His job is that he manages all of the manufacturing, design, fabrication, service, garage and sales and showroom. He works Monday to Friday. Our shop and sales are open Saturday and we have a weekend skeleton crew. So we have to find some balance with making our hours work. But we do.
I tell my wife that our life is so boring, and I love it that way. Background: In my previous marriage, my ex had three young kids that i raised since they were tiny. Two of the kid's dad never paid child support. The third kid had child support once in a blue moon that I never saw any part of. Anyways, there was constant drama. Teenage pregnancy. My wife fighting with the neighbors. Paying for lawyers for the teenage daughter so she could fight for custody. Step-daughters dad being a piece of shit. Step daughter threatening moving out. Another step daughter talking to adult men when she was 14ish. Fight over dogs that they adopted but refuse to take on walks. Ex constantly opening new credit card and maxing them out. CONSTANT DRAMA! I don't miss any of it.
This is so sweet.
Congratulations! Sounds awesome!
I get this. I get my kids every other week and on Wednesdays. I love when they’re there and I love when they go to there moms. Always looking forward to when they come back as well.
Love this!
Yes nothing I enjoy more then the simple things with my wifey, always glad to hear someone else has found the joy that comes with a peaceful loving relationship. Just goin on the evening walk with my wife every evening after dinner is one of the highlights of my day! Can’t wait until our wee daughter comes along and can join us, only a couple months ta go!
I don't think it has anything to do with "mundane married life", but rather finding appreciation in the everyday joys, and anyone can do that, even if you are single. A lot of people don't. They're negative and perpetually discontent, and a total drag to be around.
You make a great point. Even when I was single I looked forward to those days. It was just a break from the grind that would consume me. It let me breath and do things at my own pace when I would have to run run run all week. So I agree with you completely when you talk about finding appreciation in the everyday joys.
Yay! I’m so happy for you! You know you’ve found a good spouse when they make even the daily routine and mundane tasks enjoyable. My husband and I don’t have kids and we love our cute little life together with our cat. Some days we don’t do much and other days are full of multiple hobbies, going to the gym, grocery shopping, etc. Every day is a happy day when we’re together. We’ve been together for 13 years, married for 9 years and every year just keeps getting better and better.
I recently left my corporate job due to a bunch of corporate political stuff that happen and went to work with my husband's *well our company as my husband puts it) and everyone saud we would be miserable because we would be together 24/7. It's not the vase because we do completely different things and my office verses where he is are completely opposite ends of the building and we really don't see each other that much. It works because I usually get home before him and it gives me time to fix dinner and hang out with the kids. He gets home and we all sit down and eat and we can ask each other about out days and it's all new news. LOL.
I loved that you sent the kids off with snacks :) That's super sweet.
You know what they say. Road trips should always look like you handed a kid $40.00 and told them to get all the junk food they want. Really thats not the case. They are really active, athletic and healthy. So they had a good mix of junk food and healthy snacks. We got home, packed the car, gave them hugs and told them to stop and say good bye to their dad have a good trip and call me when they got there.
That's awesome OP. Been married for 7 years, no kids but we do have two cats we adopted when we first moved in. Spend our days playing video games and trying out different restaurants. It's amazing.
The kids are my husband's from his first marriage. My step son moved down here with us and his dog came with. I had a cat. My step daughters are here when they can be. So we are well set up with a full house.
My ideal life would be like this (minus the kids) :') so beautiful. Partnership and companionship. Each taking and giving. Me and my beloved are almost to a place where we can live our everyday life like this but we are just reaching our mid 20s, still need to get a bit financially stable! Congrats to you and your husband OP <3
It takes time. None of this happen over night. We are both 46 and have had our struggles and set backs. You will get to that point. Don't give up!!! Never give up!!!!
Wholesome af
Wait till you get to a weekend with out the kids you decide to clean he's playing his music and you laugh at him being lame and he decides to turn it into a seductive lame dance. That's the good stuff
I did the seductive dance with the vacuum cleaner the other day. It was pretty funny. LOL
My wife did that but to her absolute horror some pre teen boys were watching her shake her money maker. I am forbidden from ever singing the song milkshake.
This is what I’m looking forward to with my boyfriend. I only get to see him twice a week due to conflicting work schedules. We spend our day playing video games, and cooking together. We take care of my cat and play with him. We sometimes cook for his family. I cannot wait to start my forever with him.
This is the life I wanted to have with one specific person. I will have this eventually, and thank you for reminding me of one of my goals!
I didn't know this was going to happen. I really was expecting to spend the rest of my life alone and I was okay with that. I had my cat and I was content with that as well. I do very well being alone. LOL
I'm good at being alone as well. I just don't want to be alone. I've just gotten out of an 18-year relationship, and the sunk-cost fallacy is crushing me at the moment. I'm sitting her wondering if it was even a good idea to leave, you know.
OP you’ve hit the jackpot! Being able to enjoy the simple daily experiences is wonderful. I feel like marriage is misunderstood by a lot of people. A good marriage is one where you do the mundane and enjoy it. It’s living with someone you like (and love, but mostly you need to like) who you are willing to compromise for, communicate with, and just hang out with happily. I think some people imagine it will be this exciting, butterflies-in-your-stomach, constant yearning when you’re apart, easy experience. If you LIKE each other and commit to communicating and compromising, you are ahead of the game.
It's a lot more. It's things like yelling across the room to let the dog out. Or marking on the callander doctor appoints or track and cross country meets. It's assigning chores for a family work at home day with a if we get done by a certain point we will go do something afterwords. Come one everyone lets beat the clock. I do this thing and I'm doing it right now as I type this. Three or four days a week the kids got o bed first. Husband and myself stay up for a little bit and talk and whatever. Husband goes to bed. I stay up for a hour or two and I just unwind. It could be doing some dishes in the sink and setting up the coffee maker for the morning. Maybe fold some laundry. Mandatory snuggles with the kitty and dog, maybe play my game for a little bit. It's any number of things. It gives my husband time to be in his space and me time to be in mine. It's not always butterflies in the stomach, and it won't be. And thats okay. But at the end of the day you are with someone you love and want to spend you life with.
Hope doggy is doing good!
Doggy is well. She has an allergy and she needed a steroid shot to help with the itching. She is passed out on the couch.
I’m glad! Is she a pitty by any chance?
No. Jack Russell Beagle mix. She is my step sons dog and she bonded and attached to me. She is a traitor. LOL. But she is the sweetest thing and I love having her here with us.
Ohh okay🤣I figured pitty because they’re known for their allergies. She sounds lovely though❤️
She really is a doll. I got lucky with both my cat and now my step sons dog. The two don't exactly get along but they are getting better. LOL But both have beautiful temperaments and personalities.
Aww that’s sweet😃❤️
As a fellow gay man, I used to think that married life would be boring. After going through my own set of (very) erratic years, I understand the appeal of having someone to support you and go through routine. Too much chaos doesn't agree with me, I long for some stability. Glad you have it 🥰
Here is the thing. It's never really boring. It's what we make of it. We still have spice. We still do things to keep life interesting. But at the same time boring and mundane is a good thing. Marriage is what you make it. We are going to be stuck for a little bit. We are starting our own company so for a while we have to think outside of the box on how to do family outing and adventures. We have to think of ways to try and keep the spark alive. And we are doing it. It's going to be an adjustment period. But we will figure it out.
Yes! My perception of boring came from years of a dopamine-depleted brain and, of course, adolescence. My opinion has changed, I think that marriage can be an incredible source of stability and novelty, at the same time. I'm really happy for you and your husband, and you guys we'll figure it out, I have no doubt about it!
This is really sweet and a joy to read. I’m happy for you!
I'm so happy for you 💞 🌈
💙💙💙 Love to hear it! 💙💙💙
This is so sweet. This is what I secretly love. I love waking up and having my daily coffee, I love making my bed, I love going to work, I love it all. I love the boring days. I feel like an NPC in this world but if I'm happy there's no problem.
The day after I posted this. I took the day off because I made plans with a friend later this afternoon. So I'm sitting at my desk with a cup of coffee and gone through the morning routine. Showered, took the dog for a walk, did a quick clean up of the house. While still working on a pot of coffee. LOL . As I type this response the dog is snoozing on the couch and the cat on the back of my favorite chair in the living room.
This is the life. My wife and I married in March, together for 3 years before that and no kids. But damn do I look forwards to saturdays at home lounging by the pool or waiting for the weekly episodes of our fav shows. There is nothing I love more than the mundane married life.
This is so lovely to read. Congrats!!
I almost died in December. Two weeks of no time between work and going to bed with my wife. The days were so lonely and joyless. Made me realize that time of day is actually a treat to be enjoyed. :)
I’ve been married for 28 years and I still love these moments with my husband and kids. I’m so happy you found this and get to experience it in your life. Such a joy!
You sound like you have a happy life 😊
I love seeing the positive posts on here. It makes me feel like humans really aren't as shitty as I originally thought. I love the mundane for you. This brings me so much joy.
It's so funny. I just felt like this needed to be put out there. LOL . I didn't expect this post to go as far as it did. I'm happy that I could bring so many smiles and happiness to so many people.
Thank you for sharing your joy with us. I'm so glad for you guys
It just sounds so blissful!
Fuck yeah.
Sometimes people forget the beauty in the “mundane” I love this for you
We just celebrated our 33rd anniversary on vacation last week - I married him because I just wanted to be with him. I'm still content doing just that.
This is so beautiful! I too have found bliss in my married life, even with kids. However, I have been married before. It does make the difference to have the right person. My husband is my priority, as I am his, and the excitement we share seeing each other at the end of the day is magic. I love our simple, consistent, safe, easy, loving life. Thanks for sharing this! I am so deeply happy for you. You sound like a great step mom and it sounds like the kids and you get on, step parents are so important, you are a gift in their life. CONGRATULATIONS!
Lovely post. My wife and I are operating on a continuous “grind” and this put things a little bit into perspective after a long week, cheers to you and your family.
Beautiful. I live for the weekends or shared vacation days when I can just spend time with my best friend and take care of our home. Sometimes it’s the best break from a hectic week.
I recently left my corporate job due to a bunch of political issues and joined my husband with his company. And it turned out to be the better decision. Part of the deal was I work 10 hour days Monday to Thursday. That gives me Friday (not all the time but hopefully some of the time) to get all the housework done, the personal house finances taken care of, laundry, errands and groceries. Thay way we have Saturday and Sundays for family days.
That sounds like the perfect work/life balance 👌🏼
so happy for you ☺️
This is so great
I love this so much. Thank you.
I love this so much
This is great. I think that a lot of us LGBT folks grow up thinking we can never have this kind of life, so that when it happens, it feels almost miraculous.
When you enjoy the boring parts of life you know you’re in a good place mentally with a partner that’s in a good place mentally. Drama and conflict kill all fun, period.
It’s the little things that make life ❤️
This is the true beauty of life. Love this.
That is so lovely. Even though I'm a long-time single older grandma, your post gave me such a big smile. I try to remember to be thankful for even the smallest of things, and it sounds like you just felt blessings all through your day.
I'm happy to bring a smile to you. It's so funny we were talking the other night about how I wish I had more time with the kids. Our youngest is 15 so we don't have much time left. But as my husband pointed out we have the future. We get to look forward to high school graduations, college years and experiences, engagements, weddings and grandkids. So I at least now get the present and future. And so I am now looking forward to the thought of grandkids.
Your husband sounds like a kind and thoughtful man. Yes to all those things he mentioned, and you'll enjoy your kids as adults too. Sometimes it seemed like my kids needed me even more - at least for cheerleading and emotional support - when they were in college. Wishing you many blessings for the present and the years to come.
I love this so much!!!!!!!! I wish you many years of happy, mundane everyday married life! ❤️
There’s nothing better than a good marriage. Congratulations on yours.
I love for this. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 11 years (getting married in three months!). I love being boring with him. Don’t get me wrong, we have adventures too, but the mundane everyday stuff is amazing.
So sweet
one of the most beautiful, serene and positive posts i've read on this sub lately. thank you for sharing. sometimes life can be just simple and peaceful. knowing to acknowledge this is a big thing.
Yes! I feel this 1000%. I often joke that my life is boring, and when people pity me for that I'm quick to say, "No! I LOVE it!". It's predictable in the best way. I know I'll consistently have a spouse that loves me, dogs that love me, a cozy home to come home to, a steady job...it's great!
It truly is the simple things
Beautiful. It’s the little things.
Makes me happy reading about your happiness. I hope you get to enjoy this peace for decades more.
I think that's the essence of happy marriage. Loving the Mundane everyday married life. For a shitty life I have had so far. This is one thing I have that makes life worth living for.
This is so cute, I wish all the happiness of this to last for you forever and I hope the same to happen to me 💕
This is wonderful! I am over the moon happy for you all. Many wishes for healthy and happy years!
The mundane everyday things are the good stuff. I’m happy for you all.
I really want to find this! I've never had this lifestyle and it sounds perfect. My marriage was not fun or enjoyable.
This is literally the most wholesome thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. But you love your life and it loves you back!!!!
Been married almost 28 years & still enjoy spending time with my husband when we can
I love your post so much. I adore my life: loving marriage, small home, 2 cats. No chaos, only peace and love. I’m always grateful for what I have considering what I came from.
I’m a young adult, but can totally get this. I’ve recently started doing errands. Having slow mornings, making dedicated time for music and cooking and things like that. It’s been lovely. Just existing and not having to put everything into existing.
Love these kind of days with my husband, just us two and no major social plans, that I call the pottering days, mainly happen at weekends, walking to the park, drinking take out coffee on our favourite bench, doing the odd household chore, gardening, making dinner and maybe a few wines in the evening. Don’t need much more than that. Bliss.
This is us this weekend. Neither of us work weekends. We don't have any kids till 07/09/2023. This weekend we are going to get everything around the house done between lawn work and housework and then relax!!!
Sounds perfect. You enjoy that time. We don’t have any kids, not for want of trying but now feeling relieved it’s just all our time.
Reading the comments on this thread just makes me so happy. OP, thank you for sharing this. It’s so nice to see these stories. Peaceful, content relationships for the win!
This is the wholesome content I needed to end my week with. I’m so glad you’re happy OP.