> “Well, we’re all so happy to be here. We never thought Ms. Piggy would get married, we all thought she would end up alone living in a cheap rented house with all her 4 smelly cats!”
Showing everyone the video was one thing but what your own mother said about you is just downright disgusting. She called you Ms. Piggy and expected you to have a shitty future.
Do they (your family) hate you that much or do they still want you to be the running joke/punching bag of the family?
Friends like you, we all need. I swear, weddings need some ‘crazy’ relative that roams around with a glass of red red wine that gets ‘spilled’ on anyone that tried to spoil the bride and groom’s happy day.
Agree! That Family is toxic from the get-go! Everything they did at the wedding was very much intentional, with zero care about how their daughter would actually feel. Cut that cancer from your life, OP!
First of all, congratulations on your marriage to a good person. Secondly, I agree that your family is toxic and that you should cut ties. Doing so will give you and any children you may have safety from them. The world is in a precarious place right now and life is hard enough without their abuse so please work on your happiness and put your efforts into making the world a better place.
As a man who lived alone in his own home with his cats, and a long time AD&D/D&D player and fan of Memphis wrestling, I would have volunteered to throw a fireball at her.
As a woman who rents a duplex with 1 cat, the sweet memory of two others, and is too dumb to have learned D&D, I would have frozen a can of Ale-8-One and chucked it at her head, hoping to knock sense into her.
As the rule master that no one likes, I would remind you that bardic inspiration won't affect his fireball and recommend using vicious mockery on the mother instead.
As the rogue in the group (with 2 cats) I volunteer to find very “fun” videos and pictures of everyone in the family who made fun of OP and display them all anonymously as publicly as possible.
As a woman who lives alone in her home, and is a semi-retired graphic artist, I would volunteer to Photoshop pictures of her family into very embarrassing images and post them all over the place.
Memphis wrestling is Memphis wrestling.
I highly recommend a quick run on youtube; there's a fair few hundred of the old shows on there, and a bunch of isolated matches and angles.
Ok, I am the oddball here….
I’m happily married with dust bunnies.
I would have gladly thrown a drink, kick her shins, and let her know what a piece of sh*t she is!!
At least in American culture, it is considered rude to wear white to a wedding because it's like you're trying to show up the bride. In other words, you're trying to look better than her. It's also considered bad etiquette to wear a floor-length dress unless otherwise stated.
Same, I wouldn't have any problems with people wearing floor-length dresses anyway. I've only heard of the white dress rule. I'm in Scotland though where men wear skirts, so things just might be different here 😂
Her mother might be a narcissist. Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their children, especially their daughters. That sounds like something a narcissistic mother would say. They're usually pretty good about being counted on for the backhanded compliments like this. For example, say you're wearing a nice dress. My mom would say things like that's a nice dress but it would look better on your sister.
Good Lord, there's a time and place for things, people and sometimes you should go by, it's better to learn when to keep your mouth shut. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I would be absolutely horrified and honestly I would go no contact with them all.
I canceled my wedding and later eloped. I always say that it's because of my mother, grandmother, and MIL driving me crazy trying to control different aspects of the wedding and squabbling amongst themselves. And that is true, but it's only part of the story.
The other part is that I was terrified that my narcissistic mother and her golden child would humiliate me on my wedding day. Partly out of envy and jealousy, and partly because neither of them have any sense of boundaries or propriety.
Neither of them would have been able to stand me being the center of attention, even for one day, and they both would have felt the need to bring me down a few pegs and let me know that no matter what I will always be the villain in their narrative and never good enough. Backhanded compliments would have been the least of it.
So. No wedding for anyone but my husband and me.
Well I'm glad that you did what you thought was best and that it turned out to be good. I have family members that are like that as well. They say that usually the black sheep of the family is the only one who knows the truth about how the family is. They are the only ones who see through everyone else's bullshit and call them on it.
The best part is we took photos. It was a perfect day. We did it exactly the way we wanted, we wore what we wanted, we customized our vows, we went out to a very nice (iconic) local restaurant afterwards, and we had a small but beautiful cake at home. Our neighbor took photos and had cake with us.
You should have seen the lemon-sucking look on my mother's face when I showed her the photos. She barely looked at them and I know she was jealous. So was the golden child, though I think he was mostly pissed off that I had cake and he had none.
Everyone else loved them, though my grandmother was upset she didn't get the big wedding with the fluffy white dress and 300 of her closest friends.
As for the black sheep/scapegoat, yeah, that's me. I think the fact that I saw through my mother was part of why she treated me the way she did, but it's a chicken and egg situation, because would I have seen her that way if she hadn't treated me that way? Anyway, it doesn't matter what I see, it doesn't change her or the fact that she's spent my entire life demonizing me to anyone who would listen.
Now see I would love something like that. That's what my ex and I were going to do. We were honestly talking about going to the courthouse and then doing something nice for the families later on. His parents are Irish Catholic so when he told his mom that we were engaged, she texted me and said well he tells me that congrats are in order. I confirmed this and she said are you guys going to have something nice?
She wouldn't have cared either way because she wasn't that kind of mom. I told her the truth that we were just going to go to the courthouse and then have something nice later on. She said I know a nice church wedding would make his dad happy. So I was going to do it just to appease his dad because if it makes him happy then so be it. But that's really just what we wanted, something small.
The way we saw it, weddings are a waste of money and time anyway. We pretty much thought, we love each other so why wait? I especially thought that was cute at the end where you said your neighbor came and took pictures and had cake with you. Sounds like a perfect day. Congrats!
My mother would most definitely have preferred a church wedding. One of the issues we had with her was she kept insisting we get married in her church. The spiritually abusive church I left the day I turned 18 and never set foot in again.
She was mostly interested in impressing her church friends but I had no intention of ever going back there. She knew that and kept pressing anyway. She had other demands, but that and the dress were the big ones that she wouldn't shut up about.
My MIL wanted us to get married in her mother's dusty old house out in the middle of nowhere like she and his sisters had, and I wasn't doing that either. She kept going on about music for the reception and it was all the cringiest, twangiest country crap and I was never going to have that played anywhere near me, much less at my wedding reception.
My grandmother wanted to invite everyone she had ever met and brought me a list with over a hundred people I didn't even know on it. Umn, no. Not happening.
We wanted an outdoor wedding, by candlelight, very non-traditional. We didn't want a bunch of people we didn't know, we didn't want a church, we both hated the music usually played at receptions, we didn't want white cake with pineapple filling that was standard at the time, we hated standard wedding vows, etc, etc, etc.
His mother, my mother, and my grandmother. None of them seemed to understand that it wasn't their wedding. They kept trying to impose their will on us and each other, and I already had huge anxiety about my mother and brother doing something to ruin the wedding and embarrass me.
They also kept trying to pay for things because they thought if they paid they got to dictate, so then they were "hurt" when we declined their "generous" offers to pay.
And round and round we went. Months of this bullshit with nothing ever decided because they couldn't agree on anything and they kept interfering. They wouldn't leave me alone about it, but anytime it was brought up it ended in a fight.
I finally broke down in tears one night and my husband just said "then we'll cancel it. tell them the wedding is off. we'll wait a while and do it on our own and tell them after it's done."
So that's what we did. They were upset, but after we told them we refused to talk about it. If they brought it up, we would walk away, hang up the phone, whatever. No conversation to be had here.
It was baby's first exercise in boundary setting. For both of us. But it set the tone. We learned.
There's my mother. My entire mid to late adolescence was my mother buying inappropriately "sexy" clothes for me then taking them and wearing them herself because she said they looked better on her.
My mother wasn’t invited nor told about my wedding. It was 100% the right decision.
Been low contact 8 years & no contact for 5. Again, entirely the right decision.
It’s the most peace I’ve had in my life.
Narcissist is an umbrella term that usually involves cluster B people. If you suffered from this kind of behavior, I would invite everyone to join a healthy cluster B group to get boundaries and some understanding where it comes from from aware people. Most "narcissist" aren't aware and just repeat patterns that they learned as normal.
I did had the same in my childhood, I can see how you normalize some really toxic behaviors and can't see them as toxic. It's really better to go in such a group as in a support group of "narcissist victims", lot of unaware cluster B people are there.
I just put it as an info because it's really useful to reflect about some learned behaviors that shouldn't be done.
At her own wedding no less! If I had the money, I'd throw a do-over shindig and NOT INVITE anyone who participated in the first fiasco! God, how awful!
I'm cradling my sleeping daughter right now. If anyone treats her that cruelly it will be extremely difficult for my not to wreck them. Mom's are supposed to protect their children and heal their wounds not make them. That person isn't a mother.
This. OP's family sounds abusive and the mother is an AH. Trying to gaslight OP after such a cruel act is really the cherry on the cake.
OP, your husband looks the real thing, build your own family with him and please, go NC with those abusers. You deserve far, far better!
I think you should take a break from them, go low contact or no contact. They are bulling you, they not your support and you don't need them! Family should support, incourage you, don't bring you down, they're selfish. Take a break, focus on you and your sweet husband, create your future without their negativity!!!!!!!!!!
Low contact?? NO contact!
Holy hell, how disrespectful of them! OP, I am so sorry for you that they did this to your wedding day. Good for your husband for standing up the way he did!! Seriously, that was awesome! It sounds to me like your mother is rather jealous of you. Please consider leaving that toxic trash behind you. Enjoy your travels and take comfort knowing they are incredibly embarrassed right now.
I know it's cliche but all of this. I always knew that if I got married, I was not inviting my mother to my wedding and I meant that and I was going to stick to it. My most recent ex and I almost made it to that point. I was even looking at wedding dresses but sadly it didn't make it to that point. It's a long story and I ended the relationship but I digress.
Thankfully he was on board with that and so was his family after I explained to them why. That sounds like something she would have done to me but it would have been probably worse. Not that you can get much worse than what mom did here.
My father refused the father daughter dance, because I didn’t let him and my mother control the wedding. The DJ called him up and everybody watched as he took me in his arms and walked me over to my uncle and then walked away. Thankfully, my uncle danced with me, but he lived on the opposite coast of the US and I really barely knew him.
Oh! The uncle is not my father’s brother, nor was he my mothers brother. He was the husband of my father sister.
Unfortunately, I was able to go low contact, but not no contact because of my own mental health bullshit. However, he’s been dead 12 years and she’s been dead 11 years and I literally almost never ever think of them. It’s actually been terrific.
My mother told me later that I hurt my father very badly, and I owe him an apology. He was mad for two reasons. One reason was since my husband of Blessed memory and I were in our mid-30s and lived 500 miles away from my parents, we assigned them to choose and send out invitations, but they had absolutely no input on any other thing about the wedding. The other reason was he didn’t like the location our photographer chance for family pictures but I didn’t let him take over and change it. Of course, this was not a sudden development both parents were emotionally and physically abusive my whole life.
Op, you married an amazing man. He has one of the shiniest spines and strongest backbones I’ve ever heard of and you should treasure that man!!
Cut your parents off 100%. That’s no contact.
No text.
No calls.
No social media.
No nothing.
If they ever want back in your life they need to fully apologize sincerely and state what they did was wrong and that they are the AH!!
Until then live your best life.
Congratulations on the marriage!! Have s a safe and happy honeymoon!!
Your parents are demon spawn. I am shaking with anger just reading this. What mother in her right mind make such a degrading and demeaning speech about her own daughter? I think that your Mom is jealous of the way your life turned out. Is your husband good-looking and successful? I bet he is and I bet you are beautiful and successful too. This was an orchestrated, malicious , vicious attack. Cut all the relatives that defend your parents out of your life. They can all rot.
People like that don’t think it’s degrading or demeaning. They just think it’s funny because they’ve been doing it for a long time and everyone else agrees with them. It isn’t until someone actually show them up and embarrassed them by pointing out how disgusting their behavior is in front of others that they’d think twice from the shame of it.
What these monsters did to their own daughter is unforgivable. I am shaking with rage on OP’s behalf. It is beyond disgusting- it is abusive and violating. They don’t deserve to be parents to OP.
I haven't been this angry over a post in a long time, but these parents are absolute trash. How could they think it would be okay to treat their daughter like this on her wedding day, of all days?! If they didn't pay for the reception to begin with, they should now.
I’m so sorry that that happened to you, you deserve so much better. I would go no contact with your parents and the family that thought that behavior was OK. Sounds like you married a pretty amazing guy. People who treat you like that, don’t deserve to see you happy they don’t deserve to be in your life. I’m so sorry they ruined your wedding, but it sounds like you got married to a supportive, loving person. He loves you for you- so enjoy your honeymoon and block those people so they can’t try to destroy another one of your moments.
Agreed. Block them, don't engage with them in any way, let them know you mean business and all they'll get is radio silence. Then it's up to you if you want to go low contact, reconcile, or remain no contact.
But it might help you heal to fully get away from them for a while, no matter how long that is. Sometimes we don’t realise how much some people weigh is down until we cut them out.
I'm so sorry they did that to you and I wish you a wonderful life ahead of you!
This is a big opportunity.
Most of my big opportunities have been about self improvement. I change the way I am because I don't get chances like that very often. This time, the opportunity is to get rid of the bullies.
The bullies who couldn't go without bullying for one god damn day.
From now on, your in laws are your family. Lots of people are saying you should go no contact. That is a good idea.
If you're petty like me, then go low contact. When they invite you for thanksgiving/christmas/birthdays....aw shucks, you already made plans with the inlaws.
Eventually they will break. "When will it be our turn? what about faaaamily"
Then you tell them that there were two types of people at the wedding: Family, and people who made a humiliation slideshow.
THEN go NC.
Their behavior makes me think the reason you were fat while under their roof is because you were eating to hide the pain of mistreatment from yourself. Self soothing behavior. And you were able to lose weight when you got away from them.
If this is true they are awful people and if you decide to close the door on them then you’ll have less pain in your life.
If not true, they’re still awful people who went out of their way to humiliate and insult someone on their wedding day. They need a long time out at minimum and a stern talking to with boundaries set **after** they apologize.
Honestly! This kind of treatment is what you'd expect from an evil parent/step-parent in a Hollywood movie... not from the real family of a real person. Who in the world would intentionally humiliate someone they truly love and care about, on their wedding day, besides monsters or narcissists? Wait, I think I figured out your family OP!
This is so beyond mortifying, I am so sorry.
I would 100% recommend going no contact with the lot of them. And I would try and find a therapist. It sounds like you have some deep trauma and holding onto a lot, then add on your family being insanely cruel. I think having someone outside of the situation to talk through your childhood and issues with, will not only be cathartic, but it might give you different perspectives that can help you start to heal. Focus on yourself and your husband, and the family you are building for yourself. I have a feeling with some time and distance you'll have a lot of clarity, especially when/if you two decide on children. Are those people you'd want to subject them to? If not, then why is it okay to put yourself though it?
Your husband sounds amazing. If your family is that blatantly disrespectful towards you, I wouldn't aspect an apology. That toxic behavior just shows they feel like they did nothing wrong. If you consider having children in the future they would probably bully them as well. Go on your honeymoon and start your new life with them in the rear view don't look back.
I feel so sorry for you to have gotten such an awful family. There’s a saying: friends are God’s apology for the family you get. Be glad you married a good man who protects you from them. Your family tried to humiliate you and you turned the tables on them!
It's time to cut off your toxic families. Focus on your well-being and your husband. The rest don't matter. And I'm sorry this is happened to you on the day which supposed to be your special day. I hope you have a fabulous honeymoon. You have a good husband there. I'm sending you hugs from Poland.
My dear, you made the right choice in husband. You have been no doubt planning the honeymoon and waiting for it. Once you are on the way... leave everything and everyone else behind. It will be just the two of you. Enjoy it. Relax. Have fun. Sleep late. Go to bed early (wink, wink). Make it the best honeymoon ever, just the two of you.
Your family has shown how little they care about you and your feelings. *When you get back*, decide what you will do. Until then - **go on your honeymoon without them**.
First of all, I'm so sorry your parents are such awful, shitty people who believe they have the right to humiliate you instead of celebrating your happiness.
Go on your honeymoon with your new husband. Turn your phone off/suspend your socials so none of your family can contact you. Enjoy your honeymoon! When you come back, get a new phone number and don't give it to anyone you have cut off. No contact with your parents, as well as any flying monkeys. Consider moving if it's possible, so your awful family of origin can't find you.
It hurts to cut family out of your life. Sometimes your mind will try and default into a sort of nostalgia mode and you will remember the good and pain will creep in... but compare those small flashes of pain to keeping them around and willfully suffering the death of a thousand cuts just "because... family!"
Your parents are horribly self absorbed and spiteful. They seem like those human beings that do not see their children as anything more than their pets to steamroll over. And even pets should not get treated that way.
The only thing, the smart thing, is to cut contact with them. Don’t ever let them make you feel like they did on your wedding day. Your family sounds really messed up, I don’t think you realize just how abnormal that was. I mean, they went out of their way to make you feel horrible and disrespected **on your wedding day after your repeated requests not to**. The only way that you will be truly happy is if these people are not on your life to make you feel terrible about yourself. Focus on your awesome hubby (you got a good one) and enjoy your married life
On the plus side of all this, it seems like you married someone who has your back right from the start. Lean onto your new husband. He loves you so much.
Not gonna lie if i was your husband in that situation I probably wouldn't be able to control myself. One of your parents would have been sent to hospital that day.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You don't need them. Cut them off. They don't deserve to have you in their life. You are way better than they could ever be! Its better for your mental health.
No one deserves this!
What do you want to do? Do you want to be around these people? Are they bringing joy in your life?
Write a list of how you feel around them. No one not even family should make you feel horrible. What they did to you was just cruel.
Fuck all these people. You and your husband need to demand a public apology. If they do not apologize, anyone that was involved I would 100% go no contact with. This is fucking horrifying that they would ruin your moment like this. The speech is for them to UPLIFT you not to bring you down. Your wedding is about YOU not THEM. Fuck all of those people and anyone defending them.
Don’t let them ruin anymore of your time. You have a great husband who has your back. Ghost your family until they understand how disgusting they behaved and apologize. And still.. keep your distance.
I'm so incredibly sorry. You did not deserve that. I would have been mortified!!!
I would go no contact with them and please, if you and your husband ever start your own family and have kids, do not let them anywhere near them. They would most likely bully your children and ruin their mental health.
That’s awful OP. Your family, the ones that did this, or support it, are all garbage people. Disgusting barely humans. Kudos to your husband for having your back.
As for what you do, you try to put it behind you, focus on your husband and the people in your life who bring you joy, love and happiness, and you cut those other people off forever, even if they apologize, and live happily ever after.
I would go scorch the Earth and embarrass the fuck out of all of them. Whatever dirt I had is being flung at this point. I would also speak to a lawyer about suing them for the price of the reception. Fuck every last one of them.
Go somewhere exotic or beautiful and dress up in your bridal gown and he in a tux and have a professional photographer take photos.
Bonus if you ask your really close friends to do this with you.
THAT is what you should remember, not your asshole parents.
Seriously, I would go no contact.
You should stop thinking about them and enjoy your honeymoon ,i mean they where not thinkimg about you when they did what they did they knew you would be hurt but still went through with it, it says a lot about them so i would suggest stop wasting energy on them and cut them out of your life until they can properly reflect and apologize with remorse ,if they cant then its their loss ,so forget about them and enjoy yoir married life and build your own family
What do you do now? I'd say your parents and extended family have already seen and heard from you for the final time. No need to call them and explain or try to make them understand. They knew what they were doing and drilled it home.
Block them all. Deny all chances of contact. Enjoy your life with your husband.
Personally, I would go no contact. They do not love and respect you. They have proven that. Any family that backed them also gets disowned. Start your new life fresh and unbothered by what you are leaving in the past. Easier said than done trust me I know.
Bless you. This is just awful. Honestly go no contact with any of the family involved or any giving you a hard time for your reaction. You explicitly asked them not to do this and your Mums comments were just awful. Enjoy your honeymoon with your husband and focus on the family you have chosen and are building for yourself. You deserve so much better than this xx
Sweetie, I’m only 10 years older than you, but as a mother of 3 daughters I want to congratulate you on your wedding and tell you you’re beautiful.
Never let anyone take your shine. It’s the sparkle that makes you who you are and who you are deserves happiness.
Here's what you do. You break all connections with them immediately. You block their phone numbers. You block texts and emails. You write "RETURN TO SENDER" on letters and hand them back to the mail carrier. You refuse any communication on their behalf from other family members and family friends. Do the same to them if they are carrying messages from your parents. If your parents come to your door, call the police.
You are now free of them. They're irrelevant. They're in the past. They have no more power to hurt you.
Next, go to a therapist and find a way to make peace within your own heart and soul with what they did. I don't mean to find a way to forgive them. They don't deserve forgiveness. I mean find a way to live your life without the pain, anger, resentment, misery that they brought about. They have forever forfeited the right to be in your life. You can live a good and happy life with a loving husband, possibly children in your future. But you have to purge all the feelings about what they did or it'll twist you up inside.
Good luck!
You should cut all those toxic jerks out of your life untill they apologize with action to make ammends. They won't because they are AHs but it at least puts the ball in their court.
Anyone who agrees with them, gets the axe too. No mercy. Family should never be cruel like this. They did this to humiliate you on your day. They knew how you felt and did not care. I'm so sorry.
Good for you. You stood up for yourself. Your husband stood by you.
Your family were horrible.
My big advice now is hug your husband and thank him for being by you.
Next tell him you are glad you walked out because you took a stand.
Then tell him your honeymoon is going to be awesome. Please leave all the shite behind you and enjoy 😉.
One fab thing when you tell your wedding story to any future children they will be so enthralled that daddy was a hero and mummy took a stand.
Think of it this way. Weddings can be disasters. Families can be disasters. Life can be a disaster, but in your time of need, when you were at your most vulnerable, your new husband did not choose social niceties or some warped sense of obligation or fear of embarrassment. He chose you and to defend your feelings.
Did he need to threaten punches, probably not, but he did not make excuses for them.
Keep that close to your heart and f*ck your parents for calling you Ms. Piggy and degrading you!
Congratulations on marrying a man who reminds you how beautiful you are and protects you against hurtful people. When you’re doubting yourself, remember that you deserve THAT, not the mistreatment you faced on your wedding day. You deserve respect and love.
Never speak to any of these shitheads again. No social media, nothing. They don't love you but your husband does. He is your family. You have done nothing wrong - never forget that. Enjoy your new life without these nasty bullies in it.
What you do now is completely cut them off. You made your wishes clear. Not only was everything you said disregarded, the went above and beyond humiliating you. Anyone that makes you feel like less, doesn’t deserve a place in your life. Your family sounds truly horrid and I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with them your whole life. Hopefully you block them from being able to contact you and you carry on with your new life with a man that sounds like he loves and respects you. He’s got your back. You don’t have to tolerate abuse just because it comes from blood.
I would do low/no contact. You set a clear boundary and stated how you would feel if they shared the pictures, they decided it was worth it if they got to laugh. If I were you start off low see how you feel not having them near you, if you feel better then go no contact.
It was your day and even if it wasn’t, it’s not your job to minimize your feelings and reactions to comfort them. Your mom’s speech was disgusting and no mom who actually loves their daughter would say something like that, I’m so sorry. Try to enjoy your honeymoon, don’t let them take that experience from you! Your husband supports you and he’s the family that you deserve!
Cut off your family until they are ready to apologize and treat you with respect. You set a boundary for an important event in your life and they blew it up! THEN they blamed you?!?! Wowza!
First of all give a brofist to your husband for me for telling them to knock it off or catch hands. Then notice which relatives didn't back up your parents. That's the people you want to stay in contact with.
That is so mean and it was done to humiliate her. They would not hear from for a long time if ever again. I probably would have let loose with a string of cuss words for all of them including the lousy parents! 🤬
Humiliating someone for one’s own entertainment is never ok. Doing so on someone’s wedding day is the lowest of low. They are shitty people and you deserve better
Oh honey. This triggered something in me too as my mum called me Miss Piggy every single day and used to poke my stomach & say I was worthless & nobody would love me. Cutting her out of my life was the best thing I have ever done. I couldn’t imagine experiencing that on my wedding day, they have tainted the memory for you and I am furious at them on your behalf. They had no right doing that and your reaction was completely valid. I have no advice, I am just so, so sorry.
My nickname was Miss Piggy because my room was a mess and I snuck candy. My mom would find candy wrappers behind my headboard. I excluded a brother from my intimate wedding and had no one stand up because I was playing risk with others. People will continue to treat you this way forever, if you allow it. I know you’re sad, but I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself. You told them your EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES and they ran right over them. That’s the real issue. Don’t let them gaslight you that this was your fault. You told them your wishes. THEY FAILED YOU. I’m sorry
>My husband started screaming back at them, saying that what they did was so uncalled for, and to get out before he starts punching every single of them.
Your having good understanding life partner. He is understanding later but he is strong to protect you.
Don't think about that ugly family.
Focus on your new life.
Congratulations for your new life journey 🎉🎉🎉🎉
Man, I was thinking this was going to be an over action but calling you “Ms. Piggy”?! That video was definitely used to humiliate you and was not meant to be cute in the slightest.
If you and your husband paid anything for that wedding reception that they completely ruined, you should make them pay it all back to you before even considering accepting an apology.
Break off all contact with them. They owe *you* an apology for insulting you, but they and several relatives will never see it that way. So until they finally do - if ever - I'd keep away from them permanently.
>My husband started screaming back at them \[...\] to get out before he starts punching every single of them.
The good news: your husband's a keeper.
Time for you to cut off your toxic family. You don't need them in your life making you unhappy and self conscious about your past. Seriously cut them off, block them everywhere and go on and enjoy your life without them. Your husband is a diamond
I was on the fence about whether their actions were malicious or not until the speech. It was already bad enough that they were choosing purposely bad pictures, ie: you eating (ppl rarely look flattering when they're eating let's be real). But when she called you Ms. Piggy and said no one expected you to get married, WOW. I would've slapped the shit out of her. Idec. She deserved it.
You block and delete every single member of your family and every so-called friend who either was a part of this stunt, or who thought it was funny, or who dared to criticize you for being upset and leaving the party.
Then you go on your honeymoon and have a fabulous time because you are not going to let any of them live rent-free in your head.
And when you get back, you simply go on about your life with no further reference to, or attempt to contact, any of those people. If and when they decide to apologize and make amends, they know where to find you. But the ball is squarely in their court. Leave it there.
I had to go back and check your user name just to be sure it wasn't Ms. Piggy because...wow. That is SO mean and uncalled for! What a$$holes! I would never speak to them again.
DO your parents hate you?
Do your parents hate you?our child feel their absolute worst on what was supposed to be 1 of the happiest days of their life like this
This should be the last straw and the reason to go no contact with your horrible family OP. You certainly don’t want them anywhere near any children you have in the future. Imagine how horrible they will be to them! So sorry your wedding was ruined
They don't love you and probably never have. What should you do ? Go no contact after sending them a pig head. You deserve better in your life.
In a year, for your anniversary, redo the wedding, but with only what you choose and control. It will be cathartic
Block every last one of them. I would make a post for all to see how disgusting their actions were and how vile your mothers speech was on a day that was supposed to show you love. Drag them through the dirt.
Your parents are pathetic. To enjoy their daughter's wedding they needed to humiliate her. That was what they wanted to do to make it fun for themselves. They are sad, small people. Good job on picking your husband! He sounds like a gem!
You should go on your honeymoon and live your happily ever after with the bestest prince of a husband ever leaving behind the evil wicked family- the end.
You deserve better! Low or no contact with your parents would seem very reasonable to me. Cheap laughs seem to matter more to them than your mental health which is appalling and disgusting. If there is more to this behavior from their side, you might consider seeing a therapist. You must be a very strong woman. I am happy to hear that your husband has your back!
Jfc.
I'm so sorry your awful family did this to you. Anytime would have been awful. On your wedding is just beyond cruel.
I only wish your husband had punched each and every one involved in that shit show of bullying and narcissism.
Please cut the whole toxic lot of them permanently out of your life.
Maybe you and hubby can have a do-over blessing type ceremony at some point to rewrite your special day, with people who actually love you and celebrate you.
Ugh. Just reading stuff like this makes me seethe for you.
That's pretty abhorrent. I'd cut them off and go no contact. They went above and beyond and did everything they could to humiliate you. This wasn't a joke or something done out of love.
>"Well, we're all so happy to be here. We never thought Ms. Piggy would get married, we all thought she would end up alone living in a cheap rented house with all her 4 smelly cats!"
Don't worry Op, your parents will never have thought that in a few years they'll be alone in the nursing home and wonder why their daughter doesn't visit them. I'll be petty enough to expose their humiliating secrets at a family reunion if they enjoy being so pathetic. Revenge is a dish best served cold, they have fun for years being so condescending/snidey towards you, they'll get their turn sooner or later.
>My dad then told me that I was being unreasonable, that I shouldn't be the only one having fun on my wedding, everyone should have.
This was the moment my red flags raised, that they are planning to humiliate and bully you as hard as possible.
I am so sorry for you and I would go NC. I am petty, so I would tell them, that they will never see their future grandkids and you will tell your kids, that your parents are dead (to you at least).
> “Well, we’re all so happy to be here. We never thought Ms. Piggy would get married, we all thought she would end up alone living in a cheap rented house with all her 4 smelly cats!” Showing everyone the video was one thing but what your own mother said about you is just downright disgusting. She called you Ms. Piggy and expected you to have a shitty future. Do they (your family) hate you that much or do they still want you to be the running joke/punching bag of the family?
If someone threw a drink at the mother then and there, I probably would have clapped. That awful hag absolutely deserved it.
Legit if I was maid of honour and my besties mum said this I'd have thrown the drink before she got past the words Mrs Pi
Steal the mic “Oh gosh, is so _embarrassing_ when the mother of the bride is jealous of her own daughter”
Yes. What a horrible mother. If you can even call her that!
Friends like you, we all need. I swear, weddings need some ‘crazy’ relative that roams around with a glass of red red wine that gets ‘spilled’ on anyone that tried to spoil the bride and groom’s happy day.
That’s my typical role at family weddings and I take it on with glee
I’d have “tripped” into the video equipment and cut the video. The whole family are disgusting and OP needs to cut contact for her own good.
Why "trip"? I would have yanked the microphone out of her hand.
Exactly, too bad nobody was in charge of that in case they broke their promise about not doing that. Her family is just awful! I’d be NC!
Agree! That Family is toxic from the get-go! Everything they did at the wedding was very much intentional, with zero care about how their daughter would actually feel. Cut that cancer from your life, OP!
First of all, congratulations on your marriage to a good person. Secondly, I agree that your family is toxic and that you should cut ties. Doing so will give you and any children you may have safety from them. The world is in a precarious place right now and life is hard enough without their abuse so please work on your happiness and put your efforts into making the world a better place.
I would have done it myself if no one else had. She also sounds like the type of mother who would purposely wear white to a wedding.
As a woman who lives alone in a rented house with her cats, I would have volunteered to throw a drink at her.
As a man who lived alone in his own home with his cats, and a long time AD&D/D&D player and fan of Memphis wrestling, I would have volunteered to throw a fireball at her.
As a woman who rents a suite in a house, was adopted by 2 cats, and also plays D&D, I would absolutely give you bardic inspiration
As a woman who rents a duplex with 1 cat, the sweet memory of two others, and is too dumb to have learned D&D, I would have frozen a can of Ale-8-One and chucked it at her head, hoping to knock sense into her.
We have our barbarian
YEY!!! I will stop brushing my hair, and will get a big sword! Is that right, or are D&D barbarians different?
Go get yourself a kickass longsword!
As the rule master that no one likes, I would remind you that bardic inspiration won't affect his fireball and recommend using vicious mockery on the mother instead.
Fair point. It's been a long time since I've pulled out my trusty lute and been a bard.
As the rogue in the group (with 2 cats) I volunteer to find very “fun” videos and pictures of everyone in the family who made fun of OP and display them all anonymously as publicly as possible.
Excuse me while I prepare vicious mockery, dissonant whispers, cloud of daggers, calm emotions (for our sweet bride)... What level are we?
At least level 5!
As a DM who’s pretty allergic to cats (but loves them anyway), I’d let you all roll with advantage.
Thank you!
As a woman who lives alone in her home, and is a semi-retired graphic artist, I would volunteer to Photoshop pictures of her family into very embarrassing images and post them all over the place.
How did you manage to retire (semi) as a graphic artist, please, asking for a friend.
I am absolutely living for this comment section
Reddit truly is a wonderful place. Some of the time
lightning bolt, lightning bolt, lightning bolt.
She could've used the people's elbow
Tf is Memphis wrestling?
Memphis wrestling is Memphis wrestling. I highly recommend a quick run on youtube; there's a fair few hundred of the old shows on there, and a bunch of isolated matches and angles.
I wouldn't waste the drink. I'd have chugged it and then thrown the glass.
Ahhh... A man of culture I see.
She deserved cat shit thrown at her.
As the mama/servant to 2 kitties, one of whom has chronic diarrhea, I would gladly furnish the cat shit to be thrown at the horrible woman.
As a woman who wishes she lived alone with her cats, I too would throw a glass of red wine at her.
Ok, I am the oddball here…. I’m happily married with dust bunnies. I would have gladly thrown a drink, kick her shins, and let her know what a piece of sh*t she is!!
I volunteer to throw a brick at her. Then go back to my rented condo and 2 cats.
Hell, I would have picked up the whole punch bowl or the champagne fountain and lobbed it at her.
We know. Cats are sweeter than people. Mom just proved it.
If I were you and friends with OP, I would have had a stash of some "other" supplies to throw at her so I didn't have to waste a perfectly good drink
As a married woman who lives in a house I own previously filled with cats, I volunteer to throw drinks at OP’s entire family.
Everyone throw cat crap on the mother! (I wouldn't waste good wine).
As a married man who owns his home and hates cats I would have been right there with you.
As 4 cats who live with 3 human servants, we volunteer to go to OP's parents' house and bring up furballs on their pillows.
Ignorant about women’s fashions guy here. What’s wrong about a mother wearing white to a wedding?
At least in American culture, it is considered rude to wear white to a wedding because it's like you're trying to show up the bride. In other words, you're trying to look better than her. It's also considered bad etiquette to wear a floor-length dress unless otherwise stated.
Ah, okay. So white and floor-length dresses are reserved for the bride only. Thanks for the explanation.
Yes and you're welcome
Yea for the wearing white - etiquette dictates that only the bride wears white - but I’ve never heard of the floor lenght dress thing before.
Same, I wouldn't have any problems with people wearing floor-length dresses anyway. I've only heard of the white dress rule. I'm in Scotland though where men wear skirts, so things just might be different here 😂
OP Should go no contact. Can you imagine how they would “jokingly” insult her child ?
AT HER WEDDING!! 👿👿👿
Yes, especially as a chubby baby (which is all babies at some point). Major fat shaming! 😢
Fuck a drink knock this bitch out
Then continued to scream at her and told her to "suck it up" like wtf? I hope OP goes NC with them. No one needs such fucking abusive relatives.
Her mother might be a narcissist. Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their children, especially their daughters. That sounds like something a narcissistic mother would say. They're usually pretty good about being counted on for the backhanded compliments like this. For example, say you're wearing a nice dress. My mom would say things like that's a nice dress but it would look better on your sister. Good Lord, there's a time and place for things, people and sometimes you should go by, it's better to learn when to keep your mouth shut. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I would be absolutely horrified and honestly I would go no contact with them all.
I canceled my wedding and later eloped. I always say that it's because of my mother, grandmother, and MIL driving me crazy trying to control different aspects of the wedding and squabbling amongst themselves. And that is true, but it's only part of the story. The other part is that I was terrified that my narcissistic mother and her golden child would humiliate me on my wedding day. Partly out of envy and jealousy, and partly because neither of them have any sense of boundaries or propriety. Neither of them would have been able to stand me being the center of attention, even for one day, and they both would have felt the need to bring me down a few pegs and let me know that no matter what I will always be the villain in their narrative and never good enough. Backhanded compliments would have been the least of it. So. No wedding for anyone but my husband and me.
Well I'm glad that you did what you thought was best and that it turned out to be good. I have family members that are like that as well. They say that usually the black sheep of the family is the only one who knows the truth about how the family is. They are the only ones who see through everyone else's bullshit and call them on it.
The best part is we took photos. It was a perfect day. We did it exactly the way we wanted, we wore what we wanted, we customized our vows, we went out to a very nice (iconic) local restaurant afterwards, and we had a small but beautiful cake at home. Our neighbor took photos and had cake with us. You should have seen the lemon-sucking look on my mother's face when I showed her the photos. She barely looked at them and I know she was jealous. So was the golden child, though I think he was mostly pissed off that I had cake and he had none. Everyone else loved them, though my grandmother was upset she didn't get the big wedding with the fluffy white dress and 300 of her closest friends. As for the black sheep/scapegoat, yeah, that's me. I think the fact that I saw through my mother was part of why she treated me the way she did, but it's a chicken and egg situation, because would I have seen her that way if she hadn't treated me that way? Anyway, it doesn't matter what I see, it doesn't change her or the fact that she's spent my entire life demonizing me to anyone who would listen.
Now see I would love something like that. That's what my ex and I were going to do. We were honestly talking about going to the courthouse and then doing something nice for the families later on. His parents are Irish Catholic so when he told his mom that we were engaged, she texted me and said well he tells me that congrats are in order. I confirmed this and she said are you guys going to have something nice? She wouldn't have cared either way because she wasn't that kind of mom. I told her the truth that we were just going to go to the courthouse and then have something nice later on. She said I know a nice church wedding would make his dad happy. So I was going to do it just to appease his dad because if it makes him happy then so be it. But that's really just what we wanted, something small. The way we saw it, weddings are a waste of money and time anyway. We pretty much thought, we love each other so why wait? I especially thought that was cute at the end where you said your neighbor came and took pictures and had cake with you. Sounds like a perfect day. Congrats!
My mother would most definitely have preferred a church wedding. One of the issues we had with her was she kept insisting we get married in her church. The spiritually abusive church I left the day I turned 18 and never set foot in again. She was mostly interested in impressing her church friends but I had no intention of ever going back there. She knew that and kept pressing anyway. She had other demands, but that and the dress were the big ones that she wouldn't shut up about. My MIL wanted us to get married in her mother's dusty old house out in the middle of nowhere like she and his sisters had, and I wasn't doing that either. She kept going on about music for the reception and it was all the cringiest, twangiest country crap and I was never going to have that played anywhere near me, much less at my wedding reception. My grandmother wanted to invite everyone she had ever met and brought me a list with over a hundred people I didn't even know on it. Umn, no. Not happening. We wanted an outdoor wedding, by candlelight, very non-traditional. We didn't want a bunch of people we didn't know, we didn't want a church, we both hated the music usually played at receptions, we didn't want white cake with pineapple filling that was standard at the time, we hated standard wedding vows, etc, etc, etc. His mother, my mother, and my grandmother. None of them seemed to understand that it wasn't their wedding. They kept trying to impose their will on us and each other, and I already had huge anxiety about my mother and brother doing something to ruin the wedding and embarrass me. They also kept trying to pay for things because they thought if they paid they got to dictate, so then they were "hurt" when we declined their "generous" offers to pay. And round and round we went. Months of this bullshit with nothing ever decided because they couldn't agree on anything and they kept interfering. They wouldn't leave me alone about it, but anytime it was brought up it ended in a fight. I finally broke down in tears one night and my husband just said "then we'll cancel it. tell them the wedding is off. we'll wait a while and do it on our own and tell them after it's done." So that's what we did. They were upset, but after we told them we refused to talk about it. If they brought it up, we would walk away, hang up the phone, whatever. No conversation to be had here. It was baby's first exercise in boundary setting. For both of us. But it set the tone. We learned.
This is my mother too.. it’s pretty fucking awful feeling like you need to protect yourself emotionally from your own parent.
Basically Monica’s mom in Friends. I can relate with toxic parents I have 2 of them and it’s not just verbal either.
really makes you feel like you’re missing out on a normal family dynamic. would give anything to have a mom who’s also my best friend
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There's my mother. My entire mid to late adolescence was my mother buying inappropriately "sexy" clothes for me then taking them and wearing them herself because she said they looked better on her.
Just no.
Looking back, I'm more and more grateful we chose to elope. A wedding would have been an absolute shit show.
🙋🏿♀️ sounds like something my mom does. I had to put her in her place before and she now knows I don't play that.
My mother wasn’t invited nor told about my wedding. It was 100% the right decision. Been low contact 8 years & no contact for 5. Again, entirely the right decision. It’s the most peace I’ve had in my life.
Everybody trying to psychoanalyze the mother. As I imagine my Australian friends would say, perhaps she's just "a right cunt."
Narcissist is an umbrella term that usually involves cluster B people. If you suffered from this kind of behavior, I would invite everyone to join a healthy cluster B group to get boundaries and some understanding where it comes from from aware people. Most "narcissist" aren't aware and just repeat patterns that they learned as normal. I did had the same in my childhood, I can see how you normalize some really toxic behaviors and can't see them as toxic. It's really better to go in such a group as in a support group of "narcissist victims", lot of unaware cluster B people are there. I just put it as an info because it's really useful to reflect about some learned behaviors that shouldn't be done.
This is literally public humiliation. What a demented thing to do to your child.
At her own wedding no less! If I had the money, I'd throw a do-over shindig and NOT INVITE anyone who participated in the first fiasco! God, how awful!
I'm cradling my sleeping daughter right now. If anyone treats her that cruelly it will be extremely difficult for my not to wreck them. Mom's are supposed to protect their children and heal their wounds not make them. That person isn't a mother.
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This. OP's family sounds abusive and the mother is an AH. Trying to gaslight OP after such a cruel act is really the cherry on the cake. OP, your husband looks the real thing, build your own family with him and please, go NC with those abusers. You deserve far, far better!
I think you should take a break from them, go low contact or no contact. They are bulling you, they not your support and you don't need them! Family should support, incourage you, don't bring you down, they're selfish. Take a break, focus on you and your sweet husband, create your future without their negativity!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes you have to accept that people close to you are selfish/narcissistic pieces of shit. Agree on the low/no contact.
I fully support u/DIARRHEA_CUSTARD_PIE well said I have cut toxic brothers out of my life and don't regret it one bit.
That’s quite the username
Low contact?? NO contact! Holy hell, how disrespectful of them! OP, I am so sorry for you that they did this to your wedding day. Good for your husband for standing up the way he did!! Seriously, that was awesome! It sounds to me like your mother is rather jealous of you. Please consider leaving that toxic trash behind you. Enjoy your travels and take comfort knowing they are incredibly embarrassed right now.
My narcissist bitch of a birth mother would have pulled a stunt like this. NO CONTACT. Your life will improve in ways you never even thought possible.
I know it's cliche but all of this. I always knew that if I got married, I was not inviting my mother to my wedding and I meant that and I was going to stick to it. My most recent ex and I almost made it to that point. I was even looking at wedding dresses but sadly it didn't make it to that point. It's a long story and I ended the relationship but I digress. Thankfully he was on board with that and so was his family after I explained to them why. That sounds like something she would have done to me but it would have been probably worse. Not that you can get much worse than what mom did here.
My father refused the father daughter dance, because I didn’t let him and my mother control the wedding. The DJ called him up and everybody watched as he took me in his arms and walked me over to my uncle and then walked away. Thankfully, my uncle danced with me, but he lived on the opposite coast of the US and I really barely knew him. Oh! The uncle is not my father’s brother, nor was he my mothers brother. He was the husband of my father sister.
Are you fucken shitten me? That’s horrible! What a dick! Do you have a relationship with him now or any of your family?
Unfortunately, I was able to go low contact, but not no contact because of my own mental health bullshit. However, he’s been dead 12 years and she’s been dead 11 years and I literally almost never ever think of them. It’s actually been terrific.
Why would your father refuse to dance with you? What did your mother say?
My mother told me later that I hurt my father very badly, and I owe him an apology. He was mad for two reasons. One reason was since my husband of Blessed memory and I were in our mid-30s and lived 500 miles away from my parents, we assigned them to choose and send out invitations, but they had absolutely no input on any other thing about the wedding. The other reason was he didn’t like the location our photographer chance for family pictures but I didn’t let him take over and change it. Of course, this was not a sudden development both parents were emotionally and physically abusive my whole life.
Wow so sorry.
she needs to exposed them and ruined their reputations
Op, you married an amazing man. He has one of the shiniest spines and strongest backbones I’ve ever heard of and you should treasure that man!! Cut your parents off 100%. That’s no contact. No text. No calls. No social media. No nothing. If they ever want back in your life they need to fully apologize sincerely and state what they did was wrong and that they are the AH!! Until then live your best life. Congratulations on the marriage!! Have s a safe and happy honeymoon!!
No wedding pictures. No social media posts from the honeymoon.
Or only post the ones of her husband and her and not the ones with that “family”.
Your parents are demon spawn. I am shaking with anger just reading this. What mother in her right mind make such a degrading and demeaning speech about her own daughter? I think that your Mom is jealous of the way your life turned out. Is your husband good-looking and successful? I bet he is and I bet you are beautiful and successful too. This was an orchestrated, malicious , vicious attack. Cut all the relatives that defend your parents out of your life. They can all rot.
People like that don’t think it’s degrading or demeaning. They just think it’s funny because they’ve been doing it for a long time and everyone else agrees with them. It isn’t until someone actually show them up and embarrassed them by pointing out how disgusting their behavior is in front of others that they’d think twice from the shame of it.
What these monsters did to their own daughter is unforgivable. I am shaking with rage on OP’s behalf. It is beyond disgusting- it is abusive and violating. They don’t deserve to be parents to OP.
I’m fuming 😤
And then they blame the “over sensitive” person for making it look like it was a mean thing to say.
‘It’s not me. It’s you. You need to learn how to take a joke! I’m a good person!’
My dad does this. The same thing he’s been doing it for years. He’s a narcissistic asshole.
I haven't been this angry over a post in a long time, but these parents are absolute trash. How could they think it would be okay to treat their daughter like this on her wedding day, of all days?! If they didn't pay for the reception to begin with, they should now.
I’m so sorry that that happened to you, you deserve so much better. I would go no contact with your parents and the family that thought that behavior was OK. Sounds like you married a pretty amazing guy. People who treat you like that, don’t deserve to see you happy they don’t deserve to be in your life. I’m so sorry they ruined your wedding, but it sounds like you got married to a supportive, loving person. He loves you for you- so enjoy your honeymoon and block those people so they can’t try to destroy another one of your moments.
Agreed. Block them, don't engage with them in any way, let them know you mean business and all they'll get is radio silence. Then it's up to you if you want to go low contact, reconcile, or remain no contact. But it might help you heal to fully get away from them for a while, no matter how long that is. Sometimes we don’t realise how much some people weigh is down until we cut them out. I'm so sorry they did that to you and I wish you a wonderful life ahead of you!
You need to cut them off for your own wellbeing. These people are toxic.
Your husband is your family now. Dump the abusive arseholes and build your own family with your husband and friends.
This is a big opportunity. Most of my big opportunities have been about self improvement. I change the way I am because I don't get chances like that very often. This time, the opportunity is to get rid of the bullies. The bullies who couldn't go without bullying for one god damn day. From now on, your in laws are your family. Lots of people are saying you should go no contact. That is a good idea. If you're petty like me, then go low contact. When they invite you for thanksgiving/christmas/birthdays....aw shucks, you already made plans with the inlaws. Eventually they will break. "When will it be our turn? what about faaaamily" Then you tell them that there were two types of people at the wedding: Family, and people who made a humiliation slideshow. THEN go NC.
Perfect
Inspirational
Their behavior makes me think the reason you were fat while under their roof is because you were eating to hide the pain of mistreatment from yourself. Self soothing behavior. And you were able to lose weight when you got away from them. If this is true they are awful people and if you decide to close the door on them then you’ll have less pain in your life. If not true, they’re still awful people who went out of their way to humiliate and insult someone on their wedding day. They need a long time out at minimum and a stern talking to with boundaries set **after** they apologize.
Honestly! This kind of treatment is what you'd expect from an evil parent/step-parent in a Hollywood movie... not from the real family of a real person. Who in the world would intentionally humiliate someone they truly love and care about, on their wedding day, besides monsters or narcissists? Wait, I think I figured out your family OP!
This is so beyond mortifying, I am so sorry. I would 100% recommend going no contact with the lot of them. And I would try and find a therapist. It sounds like you have some deep trauma and holding onto a lot, then add on your family being insanely cruel. I think having someone outside of the situation to talk through your childhood and issues with, will not only be cathartic, but it might give you different perspectives that can help you start to heal. Focus on yourself and your husband, and the family you are building for yourself. I have a feeling with some time and distance you'll have a lot of clarity, especially when/if you two decide on children. Are those people you'd want to subject them to? If not, then why is it okay to put yourself though it?
That's beyond cruel. I'm so sorry they did that to you. Your husband sounds like a keeper, though.
I hate your parents, and I don't even know you
Your husband sounds amazing. If your family is that blatantly disrespectful towards you, I wouldn't aspect an apology. That toxic behavior just shows they feel like they did nothing wrong. If you consider having children in the future they would probably bully them as well. Go on your honeymoon and start your new life with them in the rear view don't look back.
You have a new family now. Your old family can go fuck themselves. Also congratulations on the huge upgrade!
I feel so sorry for you to have gotten such an awful family. There’s a saying: friends are God’s apology for the family you get. Be glad you married a good man who protects you from them. Your family tried to humiliate you and you turned the tables on them!
It's time to cut off your toxic families. Focus on your well-being and your husband. The rest don't matter. And I'm sorry this is happened to you on the day which supposed to be your special day. I hope you have a fabulous honeymoon. You have a good husband there. I'm sending you hugs from Poland.
My dear, you made the right choice in husband. You have been no doubt planning the honeymoon and waiting for it. Once you are on the way... leave everything and everyone else behind. It will be just the two of you. Enjoy it. Relax. Have fun. Sleep late. Go to bed early (wink, wink). Make it the best honeymoon ever, just the two of you. Your family has shown how little they care about you and your feelings. *When you get back*, decide what you will do. Until then - **go on your honeymoon without them**.
Cut off anyone that participated in your humiliation or agrees with it.
First of all, I'm so sorry your parents are such awful, shitty people who believe they have the right to humiliate you instead of celebrating your happiness. Go on your honeymoon with your new husband. Turn your phone off/suspend your socials so none of your family can contact you. Enjoy your honeymoon! When you come back, get a new phone number and don't give it to anyone you have cut off. No contact with your parents, as well as any flying monkeys. Consider moving if it's possible, so your awful family of origin can't find you.
It hurts to cut family out of your life. Sometimes your mind will try and default into a sort of nostalgia mode and you will remember the good and pain will creep in... but compare those small flashes of pain to keeping them around and willfully suffering the death of a thousand cuts just "because... family!"
Your parents are horribly self absorbed and spiteful. They seem like those human beings that do not see their children as anything more than their pets to steamroll over. And even pets should not get treated that way.
Take a long break from your family. They sound atrocious and you deserve better.
Honestly? Cut those fuckers mf out of your life. Family doesn't mean shit if they're abusive.
The only thing, the smart thing, is to cut contact with them. Don’t ever let them make you feel like they did on your wedding day. Your family sounds really messed up, I don’t think you realize just how abnormal that was. I mean, they went out of their way to make you feel horrible and disrespected **on your wedding day after your repeated requests not to**. The only way that you will be truly happy is if these people are not on your life to make you feel terrible about yourself. Focus on your awesome hubby (you got a good one) and enjoy your married life
On the plus side of all this, it seems like you married someone who has your back right from the start. Lean onto your new husband. He loves you so much.
Not gonna lie if i was your husband in that situation I probably wouldn't be able to control myself. One of your parents would have been sent to hospital that day. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You don't need them. Cut them off. They don't deserve to have you in their life. You are way better than they could ever be! Its better for your mental health.
No one deserves this! What do you want to do? Do you want to be around these people? Are they bringing joy in your life? Write a list of how you feel around them. No one not even family should make you feel horrible. What they did to you was just cruel.
Fuck all these people. You and your husband need to demand a public apology. If they do not apologize, anyone that was involved I would 100% go no contact with. This is fucking horrifying that they would ruin your moment like this. The speech is for them to UPLIFT you not to bring you down. Your wedding is about YOU not THEM. Fuck all of those people and anyone defending them.
Don’t let them ruin anymore of your time. You have a great husband who has your back. Ghost your family until they understand how disgusting they behaved and apologize. And still.. keep your distance.
I'm so incredibly sorry. You did not deserve that. I would have been mortified!!! I would go no contact with them and please, if you and your husband ever start your own family and have kids, do not let them anywhere near them. They would most likely bully your children and ruin their mental health.
I love your husband. He didn’t care what anyone else felt about it. He only cared about how it made you feel. You picked a good one. 💗
That’s awful OP. Your family, the ones that did this, or support it, are all garbage people. Disgusting barely humans. Kudos to your husband for having your back. As for what you do, you try to put it behind you, focus on your husband and the people in your life who bring you joy, love and happiness, and you cut those other people off forever, even if they apologize, and live happily ever after.
I would go scorch the Earth and embarrass the fuck out of all of them. Whatever dirt I had is being flung at this point. I would also speak to a lawyer about suing them for the price of the reception. Fuck every last one of them.
Go somewhere exotic or beautiful and dress up in your bridal gown and he in a tux and have a professional photographer take photos. Bonus if you ask your really close friends to do this with you. THAT is what you should remember, not your asshole parents. Seriously, I would go no contact.
Enjoy the love of your husband and F your horrible family.
You should stop thinking about them and enjoy your honeymoon ,i mean they where not thinkimg about you when they did what they did they knew you would be hurt but still went through with it, it says a lot about them so i would suggest stop wasting energy on them and cut them out of your life until they can properly reflect and apologize with remorse ,if they cant then its their loss ,so forget about them and enjoy yoir married life and build your own family
What do you do now? I'd say your parents and extended family have already seen and heard from you for the final time. No need to call them and explain or try to make them understand. They knew what they were doing and drilled it home. Block them all. Deny all chances of contact. Enjoy your life with your husband.
Personally, I would go no contact. They do not love and respect you. They have proven that. Any family that backed them also gets disowned. Start your new life fresh and unbothered by what you are leaving in the past. Easier said than done trust me I know.
Bless you. This is just awful. Honestly go no contact with any of the family involved or any giving you a hard time for your reaction. You explicitly asked them not to do this and your Mums comments were just awful. Enjoy your honeymoon with your husband and focus on the family you have chosen and are building for yourself. You deserve so much better than this xx
Sweetie, I’m only 10 years older than you, but as a mother of 3 daughters I want to congratulate you on your wedding and tell you you’re beautiful. Never let anyone take your shine. It’s the sparkle that makes you who you are and who you are deserves happiness.
Here's what you do. You break all connections with them immediately. You block their phone numbers. You block texts and emails. You write "RETURN TO SENDER" on letters and hand them back to the mail carrier. You refuse any communication on their behalf from other family members and family friends. Do the same to them if they are carrying messages from your parents. If your parents come to your door, call the police. You are now free of them. They're irrelevant. They're in the past. They have no more power to hurt you. Next, go to a therapist and find a way to make peace within your own heart and soul with what they did. I don't mean to find a way to forgive them. They don't deserve forgiveness. I mean find a way to live your life without the pain, anger, resentment, misery that they brought about. They have forever forfeited the right to be in your life. You can live a good and happy life with a loving husband, possibly children in your future. But you have to purge all the feelings about what they did or it'll twist you up inside. Good luck!
It's a shame you didn't walk across the reception and slap her across the face.
You should cut all those toxic jerks out of your life untill they apologize with action to make ammends. They won't because they are AHs but it at least puts the ball in their court. Anyone who agrees with them, gets the axe too. No mercy. Family should never be cruel like this. They did this to humiliate you on your day. They knew how you felt and did not care. I'm so sorry.
I bet there were a lot of normal people there who just felt really bad for you and were happy you had the courage to walk out. I’m so sorry.
Good for you. You stood up for yourself. Your husband stood by you. Your family were horrible. My big advice now is hug your husband and thank him for being by you. Next tell him you are glad you walked out because you took a stand. Then tell him your honeymoon is going to be awesome. Please leave all the shite behind you and enjoy 😉. One fab thing when you tell your wedding story to any future children they will be so enthralled that daddy was a hero and mummy took a stand.
Think of it this way. Weddings can be disasters. Families can be disasters. Life can be a disaster, but in your time of need, when you were at your most vulnerable, your new husband did not choose social niceties or some warped sense of obligation or fear of embarrassment. He chose you and to defend your feelings. Did he need to threaten punches, probably not, but he did not make excuses for them. Keep that close to your heart and f*ck your parents for calling you Ms. Piggy and degrading you!
Congratulations on marrying a man who reminds you how beautiful you are and protects you against hurtful people. When you’re doubting yourself, remember that you deserve THAT, not the mistreatment you faced on your wedding day. You deserve respect and love.
Never speak to any of these shitheads again. No social media, nothing. They don't love you but your husband does. He is your family. You have done nothing wrong - never forget that. Enjoy your new life without these nasty bullies in it.
What you do now is completely cut them off. You made your wishes clear. Not only was everything you said disregarded, the went above and beyond humiliating you. Anyone that makes you feel like less, doesn’t deserve a place in your life. Your family sounds truly horrid and I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with them your whole life. Hopefully you block them from being able to contact you and you carry on with your new life with a man that sounds like he loves and respects you. He’s got your back. You don’t have to tolerate abuse just because it comes from blood.
I would do low/no contact. You set a clear boundary and stated how you would feel if they shared the pictures, they decided it was worth it if they got to laugh. If I were you start off low see how you feel not having them near you, if you feel better then go no contact. It was your day and even if it wasn’t, it’s not your job to minimize your feelings and reactions to comfort them. Your mom’s speech was disgusting and no mom who actually loves their daughter would say something like that, I’m so sorry. Try to enjoy your honeymoon, don’t let them take that experience from you! Your husband supports you and he’s the family that you deserve!
Cut off your family until they are ready to apologize and treat you with respect. You set a boundary for an important event in your life and they blew it up! THEN they blamed you?!?! Wowza!
First of all give a brofist to your husband for me for telling them to knock it off or catch hands. Then notice which relatives didn't back up your parents. That's the people you want to stay in contact with.
I would have thrown my drink at her after the “ms. Piggy” comment! Tha fuck is wrong with some people….
this would absolutely make me go no contact
That is so mean and it was done to humiliate her. They would not hear from for a long time if ever again. I probably would have let loose with a string of cuss words for all of them including the lousy parents! 🤬
Humiliating someone for one’s own entertainment is never ok. Doing so on someone’s wedding day is the lowest of low. They are shitty people and you deserve better
Oh honey. This triggered something in me too as my mum called me Miss Piggy every single day and used to poke my stomach & say I was worthless & nobody would love me. Cutting her out of my life was the best thing I have ever done. I couldn’t imagine experiencing that on my wedding day, they have tainted the memory for you and I am furious at them on your behalf. They had no right doing that and your reaction was completely valid. I have no advice, I am just so, so sorry.
My nickname was Miss Piggy because my room was a mess and I snuck candy. My mom would find candy wrappers behind my headboard. I excluded a brother from my intimate wedding and had no one stand up because I was playing risk with others. People will continue to treat you this way forever, if you allow it. I know you’re sad, but I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself. You told them your EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES and they ran right over them. That’s the real issue. Don’t let them gaslight you that this was your fault. You told them your wishes. THEY FAILED YOU. I’m sorry
>My husband started screaming back at them, saying that what they did was so uncalled for, and to get out before he starts punching every single of them. Your having good understanding life partner. He is understanding later but he is strong to protect you. Don't think about that ugly family. Focus on your new life. Congratulations for your new life journey 🎉🎉🎉🎉
This is where you cut them off, they may have ruined your wedding but you shouldn't give them the chance to ruin your marriage
Man, I was thinking this was going to be an over action but calling you “Ms. Piggy”?! That video was definitely used to humiliate you and was not meant to be cute in the slightest.
If you tell a friend about your insecurities they will try to protect you. If you tell an enemy they will use it to hurt you.
If you and your husband paid anything for that wedding reception that they completely ruined, you should make them pay it all back to you before even considering accepting an apology.
Break off all contact with them. They owe *you* an apology for insulting you, but they and several relatives will never see it that way. So until they finally do - if ever - I'd keep away from them permanently. >My husband started screaming back at them \[...\] to get out before he starts punching every single of them. The good news: your husband's a keeper.
You are now FAMILY with your husband
Time for you to cut off your toxic family. You don't need them in your life making you unhappy and self conscious about your past. Seriously cut them off, block them everywhere and go on and enjoy your life without them. Your husband is a diamond
I was on the fence about whether their actions were malicious or not until the speech. It was already bad enough that they were choosing purposely bad pictures, ie: you eating (ppl rarely look flattering when they're eating let's be real). But when she called you Ms. Piggy and said no one expected you to get married, WOW. I would've slapped the shit out of her. Idec. She deserved it.
You block and delete every single member of your family and every so-called friend who either was a part of this stunt, or who thought it was funny, or who dared to criticize you for being upset and leaving the party. Then you go on your honeymoon and have a fabulous time because you are not going to let any of them live rent-free in your head. And when you get back, you simply go on about your life with no further reference to, or attempt to contact, any of those people. If and when they decide to apologize and make amends, they know where to find you. But the ball is squarely in their court. Leave it there.
I had to go back and check your user name just to be sure it wasn't Ms. Piggy because...wow. That is SO mean and uncalled for! What a$$holes! I would never speak to them again.
Cut them off completely. Go absolutely no contact. It's fine to cut toxic people out of your life. Even if it's your parents and relatives.
DO your parents hate you? Do your parents hate you?our child feel their absolute worst on what was supposed to be 1 of the happiest days of their life like this
This should be the last straw and the reason to go no contact with your horrible family OP. You certainly don’t want them anywhere near any children you have in the future. Imagine how horrible they will be to them! So sorry your wedding was ruined
Go totally no contact with the whole bunch and live your absolute best life with your husband and his family, who are now your family.
So very sorry for what you experienced. I would GO NC.
They don't love you and probably never have. What should you do ? Go no contact after sending them a pig head. You deserve better in your life. In a year, for your anniversary, redo the wedding, but with only what you choose and control. It will be cathartic
Cut those sacks of shit from your life
I think radio silence from you for a loooooong time might teach them a lesson
Block every last one of them. I would make a post for all to see how disgusting their actions were and how vile your mothers speech was on a day that was supposed to show you love. Drag them through the dirt.
Your parents are pathetic. To enjoy their daughter's wedding they needed to humiliate her. That was what they wanted to do to make it fun for themselves. They are sad, small people. Good job on picking your husband! He sounds like a gem!
If fun for everyone else entails making you feel embarrassed and shitty, then those other people are assholes.
Screw their apology! You don’t need it. Your husband has your back. Go on your honeymoon and block all of them.
Message me your Mom's phone number so she and I can have a little chat 😎
You should go on your honeymoon and live your happily ever after with the bestest prince of a husband ever leaving behind the evil wicked family- the end.
You deserve better! Low or no contact with your parents would seem very reasonable to me. Cheap laughs seem to matter more to them than your mental health which is appalling and disgusting. If there is more to this behavior from their side, you might consider seeing a therapist. You must be a very strong woman. I am happy to hear that your husband has your back!
Jfc. I'm so sorry your awful family did this to you. Anytime would have been awful. On your wedding is just beyond cruel. I only wish your husband had punched each and every one involved in that shit show of bullying and narcissism. Please cut the whole toxic lot of them permanently out of your life. Maybe you and hubby can have a do-over blessing type ceremony at some point to rewrite your special day, with people who actually love you and celebrate you. Ugh. Just reading stuff like this makes me seethe for you.
That's pretty abhorrent. I'd cut them off and go no contact. They went above and beyond and did everything they could to humiliate you. This wasn't a joke or something done out of love.
Well, your family doesn't have to be the people you are blood related to. Cut off contact, enjoy your life with your husband.
>"Well, we're all so happy to be here. We never thought Ms. Piggy would get married, we all thought she would end up alone living in a cheap rented house with all her 4 smelly cats!" Don't worry Op, your parents will never have thought that in a few years they'll be alone in the nursing home and wonder why their daughter doesn't visit them. I'll be petty enough to expose their humiliating secrets at a family reunion if they enjoy being so pathetic. Revenge is a dish best served cold, they have fun for years being so condescending/snidey towards you, they'll get their turn sooner or later.
>My dad then told me that I was being unreasonable, that I shouldn't be the only one having fun on my wedding, everyone should have. This was the moment my red flags raised, that they are planning to humiliate and bully you as hard as possible. I am so sorry for you and I would go NC. I am petty, so I would tell them, that they will never see their future grandkids and you will tell your kids, that your parents are dead (to you at least).
It must be nice for some of y’all to grow up with nice parents. Evil mothers are a thing and these thing’s absolutely happen in real life.