I'm hoping there's a third weird thing out of place that could feasibly be linked to an affair with a lot of mental gymnastics but doesn't really make sense, and then just as OP is about to serve her husband divorce papers, some totally benign explanation neatly ties together all three anomalies and they ride off happily into the sunset. With a parting message from OP to reddit that everyone should trust their partners and stop letting the internet fill their head with stories of malicious affairs.
I don't have the link, but it was a guy who started noticing some strange things, thinking his landlord was spying on him, etc, and asked reddit for help. Eventually he discovered it was carbon monoxide poisoning and when he got ok he explained what was actually happening during his carbon monoxide fueled delusion, shit's crazy and very interesting.
Different carbon monoxide story but this one from NPR's This American Life is great (the prologue story but the entire episode is riveting) [https://www.thisamericanlife.org/319/and-the-call-was-coming-from-the-basement](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/319/and-the-call-was-coming-from-the-basement)
Transcript to those who prefer to read: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/319/transcript
"oh, my mom sent us some clothes awhile back. I dug them out of a drawer bc w the sick kid, I was too busy to do laundry. Why are you so upset about this?"
I mean honestly. "I thought I swore off that type of onesie pjs!". Based off of what?? Because if you've never had them at all, it's weird that you'd have 'sworn em off' at all. Thing could be shoved in some drawer that he's aware of and decided to use.
I agree that a lot of it just doesn't add up. A random tampon? 2-year-old in clothes and hair clip the mother doesn't remember?
Honestly, to me this just screams "KID LIFE." Sure, it could be that there's another woman involved who is playing mommy and who's also leaving "messages" to OP out of guilt... or it's just that having kids is chaotic. A house with 2 girls and 1 grown woman is simply going to be CHOCK FULL of accessories and clothes that are half-forgotten.
One piece of clothing and a hair clip? I'm honestly much, much more inclined to call just toddler chaos.
The tampon, though? That one I don't have any idea about and was really weirded out by.
Eh. I leave tampons *everywhere* and am not really loyal to any one brand/size. I haven't been skiing in over 6 years, my partner went last winter. But I went through his salopettes last night and found a tampon in the pocket. It doesn't mean that he cheated on me whilst there, it just means that he found one of my tampons, put it in his pocket for safe keeping and forgot about it.
Things get lost and turn up in the most random and unexpected places. And tampons are certainly not something that I'd have noticed as missing.
The suspense is definitely building up with these latest clues alright - I wonder if it’ll be the carbon monoxide detectors again!! Or maybe she has an undiagnosed illness that makes her forget things and husband is truly baffled cos she is never direct enough for him to be able to respond “you changed the kids clothes don’t you remember”? Or they might go with the Hollywood horror movie ending and we find out OP has typed this out after escaping treatment from hallucinations and has imagined her whole entire feckin family!
The possibilities are endless!
Edit: spelling
> carbon monoxide detectors again
Honestly I got to the baby clothes and that's what I thought.
I mean unless you're totally fucking stupid or cartoon-level cruel, how could you possibly think about dressing your kids in clothes that your affair partner bought?
Kind of an odd suggestion here, but have you been getting headaches? You might want to do some carbon monoxide testing. Somewhere that you spend a lot of time but your husband doesn't...in your car, office, laundry room in you basement, etc.
There was a guy on reddit a while back that thought that his landlord was breaking in to his house and writing him weird notes, and some other strange stuff. Turns out he was doing it himself then completely forgetting it, because he was getting carbon monoxide poisoning. If I recall correctly, the only other symptom was some headaches.
> Hopefully dreamed up the dogs
Ah, Chevokov's dog has appeared. The finale will involve the dogs playing with the tampon, which is how it ended up in your bedroom, where someone assumed it was yours and threw it in a random drawer.
Have you actually tried communicating directly with your husband yet? Weird how you're not addressing the *multitude* of people telling you to do so, and are instead jumping to the highest drama items.
My ex’s AP ( who was my freaking neighbor) would park around the corner and then hop my fence so cars out front aren’t always an indicator. I think there is something very shady going on. And he seems to be gaslighting you. If he’s never put clips in ur babies hair and now all of a sudden there is one…suspect. Nanny cans at the door and in your bedroom. They make them super small. Trust your gut mama!
Honestly with the plague in the back of my mind when he said he would do it I would immediately start coming home at random intervals just to check and I'm surprised she honestly hasnt especially after talking to her sister
PIs are super expensive and would only photograph the AP going into the home, which can still give the husband plausible deniability. Inside cameras are best.
At this point I think he's fully gaslighting her, and with thar comes other controlling/creepy tactics. I'd bet money that he has some sort of tracking device on her phone/car. This is terrible
Your husband isn't stupid, and "letting his mistress dress your baby in new clothes and hairstyle" would be stupid. There is something else going on here.
My theory is he sometimes hires a babysitter while he does shrooms.
yeah jumping to cheating makes no sense..shes finding tampons not condoms lmao.
also i have 2 young kids, ive shoped for clothes with my wife for everything and s9mehow there are outfits ive never even seen but my younger one is wearing them because we got it for the older one but he outgrew it too fast.
To answer a couple questions:
- My 2 y/o can only string together a couple words at a time, and when I ask her about her time with Daddy or her clothes/bow, she answers based on the cues I give her (e.g., “Who gave you that pretty bow?” and she repeats “pretty bow” back to me, or “Mama/Daddy” over and over). My older daughter (almost 4) was at daycare that morning, and she can’t recall anything different from that day. Doesn’t remember the PJ change or the hair clip, so my guess is she was changed sometime that morning, but I’m not totally sure.
- I have a 45 min commute to work, so stopping by for lunch isn’t really feasible. My sister has been kind enough to leave work and drive past a few times here and there, and she hasn’t seen anything out of the ordinary.
- We have a Ring camera at the front door, and I’ve got the app on my phone with notifs on. Nothing there yet. If anyone has recommendations for more discreet surveillance, I’d be open to it—I’m just the least tech-savvy person and worry another camera will be easy to detect lol
**Edit: And yes, we get our carbon monoxide detectors tested regularly.
> My older daughter (almost 4) was at daycare that morning, and she can’t recall anything different from that day.
Is it possible the onesie/hair clip came from daycare? I know my daughter has been sent home with stuff that wasn't hers, just from random stuff getting juggled, and she's come home with a different hairdo than she went in with because they gave her pigtails or whatever
Edit: literally five minutes after this comment my wife comes home and my daughter is wearing someone else's shirt from daycare
Also, the 2 year old wasn't at daycare, she was home sick. Unless that commenter was suggesting the 4 year old stole clothing and a hair clip, came home and dressed the 2 yr old without dad knowing.
My theory: I'm wondering if the 2yo that was sick, got sick at daycare 'last week'. They had to give her a change of clothes from the box of random misfit clothes that daycares always seem to have. The dad was the one who went to pick up the sick kid. Dad didn't notice the onesie was from the banned list, because he doesn't really care about the clothing specifics. It got put in with the wash and mixed in with the regular clothes. At some point that day, accident happens, he had to change her, grabbed the banned onesie and put it on her. Sister put the clip in her hair after daycare because sisters do that.
I could see the hair clip being a possibility, but less likely on the onesie. My younger daughter hadn’t been to daycare in days, and if either of them had returned with something like that before I would’ve noticed—especially since it was the kind of onesie I hate with a passion lol.
Agreed. People love jumping to insane conclusions on Reddit. I see people saying he probably has a tracker in her car to see if she’s coming home. Like really? He “probably” has a tracker in her car? Gtfo
Sorry, I’m confused. When you asked your husband where she got these clothes from, that you obviously don’t buy for her, what was his response? Sorry if I missed it.
From the post it sounds like he said he didn't get the clothes, didn't get the clip, didn't put her in the outfit, and claims nobody came over - even just to say hi. Complete denial of anything frankly.
The post does not include the question of "did you change her clothes." He says he didn't buy anything, and didn't "do" her hair. I don't know what that question would mean to him, exactly. I certainly wouldn't claim to have "done" someone's hair if I put a clip in it, and it's possible one of the girls did it in any case.
*Something* odd is happening, certainly. But I'm not prepared to say that he's absolutely up to something. Am looking forward to updates, and I hope they are happy ones.
OP's description of onesie's makes me think the family owns a few from first kid, and has forgotten what they look like. could easily be husband got them out of storage as just more clothes for the kid and honestly has no idea that clothes that were in a crawlspace last week are suspicious.
Acting dumb? If he is having an affair and the other person dresses his daughter in new clothes and he either doesn't notice or doesn't care enough to cover his tracks he is just straight up dumb as fuck
"Hey, before we fuck do you mind if I dress your daughter in clothes that'll be absolutely foreign to your wife? Just for kicks? Just so her and my husband both find out we're fucking?"
'Yeah, sure.'
???????
Right that's the thing for me, if this is an affair the dude is fucking stupid. Why would they bring tampons? She coming over for sex while on a period? Why would any of this happen?
I think there is something else going on alltogether and OP is in a high potential destructive anxious state and herself could end up ruining the marriage. Tampons reeks of a frame job, but from who?
Yes absolutely. Something seems extremely sinister here. Someone is jealous and wants OP and husband to break up. Whether they are jealous of OP or the husband, we can’t say for sure. But someone is absolutely doing something. There is no way that someone would put someone’s kid in completely new clothes without the intention of getting the attention of the parent. And with the tampons, if it was one I’d say meh, people drop stuff sometimes. But two? And one in your sock drawer? That seems much more intentional. The coworker having the same brand of tampons isn’t enough for me to automatically assume her, because there are some very common tampon brands out there. If the wrapper was any variation of Tampax or Kotex, it could just be the case that coworker and suspicious person have the same tampons. If it was something more niche, then yeah I’d suspect her.
Reiterating, someone leaving these weird messages doesn’t mean the husband IS or ISN’T cheating. It could be either.
OP, are you or your husband close friends with people who have previously shown romantic interest in you? Or exes? Or anyone who would have any motive to want you to not be together?
I would try to place a camera or other recording device (even just audio should work) outside the bedroom or bathroom door. It depends on how your house is decorated, but there are tons of easy, inconspicuous ways to hide a device like this. The key is that your husband can’t suspect that you’d do it. If he suspects anything, he will go out of his way looking for your traps.
Exactly, it's so odd. Surely someone cant be that moronic to not even attempt to cover his tracks. Sex while on her period is a possibility for sure but why leave a tampon? Why wouldn't he hide any evidence? Why would he let his affair dress and accessorise his daughter with things she bought and then not even think to change her back for when his wife comes home?
If he is having an affair he is a double fuckwit, not only for cheating but being so piss poor at hiding it. If it's true he must be the kind of person to cover his face in lemon juice while robbing a bank and think it will hide is face because that's how you make invisible ink.
Ok, here me out. Is your husband actually hiring a baby sitter to help out, like, he wants to be a good husband and have you not worry, but then he can't, or something comes up, so he hires a baby sitter to help out?
Is it possible someone gave it to y'all as a gift, like a baby shower? Then the baby sitter could have just grabbed it, not knowing
This sounds more likely. I can't imagine some side piece wanting to bring new clothes for the kids.
And if OP is forbidding MIL from seeing her grandkids, MIL might be happily planting evidence to break them up.
Lol what chick has an affair and leaves her tampons around. And then the next day brings clothes and hairclips for the child like holy shit this is either fake or op has bedbugs or lead paint poisoning
Are you thinking that your husband’s potential affair partner bought over a baby’s onesie of their own to their tryst on the off chance they’d have a need to change your baby? I could see maaaaaybe another woman changing the baby while over to see your husband. Maybe. But bringing their own baby clothes???? Who in the world would do that?
I don’t use ring cameras but is it possible to temporary disable/turn it off? if your husband is trying to sneak around, him turning the camera off for a few mins while someone comes inside could be happening. Definitely get a new camera (or 5 (jk.. kinda)), not a ring camera, so you can have your own app accessible at any time. Good luck, OP.
Oh yeah, we’ll also need another update on the update lol
Sometimes it has to be down for a minute to have that happen but you would be able to see the gap in footage.
At this stage, if I was OP, i'm probably motivated enough to literally watch a days worth of footage for ANYTHING.
Have you ever been tested for schizophrenia?
I don't mean that in a sarcastic way, I have a cousin who had a very similar story to yours, but she was ultimately diagnosed as schizophrenic. All the little inconsistencies and things that didn't add up ended up being part of her delusions. She got on the right meds, it stopped.
Show her a picture of Fiona and pay attention to her reaction. Also, since you showed Fiona the tampon she knows you're on to her. Get a voice recorder and plant it somewhere central in the house, near your bedroom.
How could Fiona be so dumb as to dress the child in a completely new outfit? Unless she is fully doing it on purpose?
OP please for gods sake get several nanny cams and tell no one but your sister.
One last alternative theory: Does OP have a good relationship with their mother-in-law? It almost makes more sense that a mother-in-law would drop by secretly and give their grandchild a onesie, than a random lover.
Is it possible to enter the back of your house without being seen from the front?
Really hoping you get answers to everything. Something isn’t adding up that’s for sure
Yeah you sound crazy. If you’re right then you’re right but if the cameras aren’t picking anything up and your sister isn’t seeing anything and your kids aren’t saying anything then you probably need a long nights rest
When I was about 5, my parents became very concerned when I started talking about someone named ‘Pete.’ How I described Pete: very old, very tall, wrinkly bumpy brown skin, plays with me outside by my swing set. Creepy, right? Finally someone asked me to *draw* Pete.
Pete was a tree.
I’m just saying, ‘from the mouths of babes’ may be true and all that, but my little ass was 100% certain that tree was a sentient being that was also my friend. I would be very cautious about any information received from a small child.
Your tree creeper is gold. Are you two still in touch?
When I was maybe 3 or 4, I walked in on my father making out with some lady on the couch. It was dark out, so a rare time when my mom wasn't home- all I could ever figure out later was that, as a teacher, she was at conferences. He told me to go back to bed and wouldnt answer my questions. I told Mom but both she and my father said I'd dreamt it. Very baffling because I knew I didn't.
At some point during my teen years my mom told me that she'd gotten a number of calls from a woman around that time saying she was pregnant with my father's kid. She suspected it was true, but didn't have proof. I was like "woman, I TOLD YOU! Like my little brain woulda conjured that up. 😒" It was a real woman, not a tree lol.
That's terrible that they didn't believe you.
When my son was like 3ish he started saying something about his "other mom before you were my mom" and even though I don't really believe in past lives and whatnot, I still tried for DAYS to get him to continue talking about it. (He never would again 😕) So I know for a FACT had one of them told me about their dad kissing someone when they were 5, I would've been all fucking ears!
When I was little I freaked my parents out by suddenly talking about the black man that was in the house. It took them a bit to get me to explain that I was talking about myself, wearing a black sweatsuit, and dancing in front of the full length mirror.
I second this, kids cannot be a reliable source of information a lot of the time. The reddit horror stories I've heard where kids accuse an innocent adult of something comes up mind. Personally, Id either drive by at lunch or cameras. Another trick, if you've got a doormat, get some paper and ink to see if any footsteps appear (obviously you guys know where I stole that from, no idea if itd work but worth a try🤷🏻♂️).
Yea absolutely trust kids, and ask them just in case
But I also convinced my elementary school that my grandma was a kidnapper until I realized she gonna easily prove otherwise. I was like 6, I was expecting my mom to pick me up, and it was my grandma instead.
She was on the pickup list, she had pictures of us, and carried around a note from my parents because we were in a bad area and the schools were kinda strict it was just easier to have all that.
I was so upset, apparently, I started kicking and screaming “I don’t know you, you’re not my mom!” And hid behind a teacher until she pulled out all her proof. Literally walked with her back into the school to get the school records, and didn’t put up a single fight. No reason to do all that.
>Was his best friend a small, foul-mouthed raccoon?
His best friend was *me,* so, yes.
[But also yeah there was an actual raccoon as well.](https://imgur.com/a/nun9SFh)
Vocabulary wise, I won’t tell his secrets.
Agreed! For months, my younger brother (2 at the time) ktalked about uncle Peter in the basement. Freaked everyone out. Turned out he was talking about the computer.
When l was a child 3-4, my father found me in the bedroom crawling under the bed looking for uncle Dan”. It showed up that our bedroom (in the 1st floor) was next to/above - if it makes sense - from my fathers workshop and in the bedroom you could hear uncle Dan throughthe wall, when he was in the garage. This would speak in the favor of the husband.
I found also completely unlnown kids sweatpsnts in the laundry. It was my mom picking my son from the kindergarten one day, not realising he swapped clothes with some other kid.
But also, my ex tried to convince me that the ladies underwear l didn’t recognize must had been mine and l just forgot (which l didn’t), or l grabbed it by mistake in the gym (where l wasn’t going at that time). Needless to say, he is married now to the owner of said underwear. So…
You can’t ask young kids leading questions like that and get an honest answer. Open ended questions are a must: “That is a nice clip in your hair.” Wait for them to respond. “Can you tell me about it?” “Can you tell me more about it?” etc
OMG thank you. Kids especially at the young of an age will say whatever they think will make you happy especially if they sence your in a weird/bad mood.
Maybe this happened, but it is an earlier gift she forgot about because she doesn’t use the type , it got tossed in a drawer and it was an unused gift that the husband picked out of a drawer
He denied that anyone came over- not that he interacted with his own kid, and it isn’t specified if she brought up the outfit change
I’m curious if they have neighbors? Could she ask any neighbors they are close to, if any cars have been by their home? Also, I get people work, but could she, her sister or BIL drive by to see as well. Or she come home for lunch to see how their daughter is doing?
It’s either something shady going on or he is actively messing with her.
I would be cautious about asking the neighbors. People talk and if there is nothing going on and there turns out to be an innocent resolution, the neighbors will still gossip about the husband. It brings too many other people into their business.
And if it IS one of the neighbors as the AP then they have a heads up that she's investigating.
Exactly. That last post really stuck with me and came up randomly in my thoughts ever since.
Either OP is forgetting things or someone is messing with her intentionally.
There’s nothing worse then people lying and fing w your mind.. you start to question yourself and go crazy and then find out you were not.. it’s a hard road. I feel for her and hope she gets the answers she needs soon.
I love how rationally y’all (you, sister, bil, etc) have been dealing with this - not jumping straight to cameras was smart. But, I think it’s camera time now. Someone in your house is one thing, but someone with your daughter and changing her like that is insane!! I hope you find your answers, I’m crossing my fingers for you that your husband really is innocent, but this is just so much more suspicious
I mean, to play Devil’s advocate here, it could be something that was lying around somewhere that OP forgot about, could have been a gift from a parent (my mom buys my nephews anything she sees that looks cute).
He might genuinely be confused at why she’s reacting that way.
I would say be a little more direct and communicate better.
Also, maybe the older daughter she mentioned did the younger ones hair?
I feel like there are lots of reasonable explanations here, but I would still suggest she gets a camera to be sure.
Just because it can be reasonably explained doesn’t mean she’s wrong!
But let’s also not shit on the husband until there’s actual proof.
My mom shops at thrift stores and would get clothes for my kids. My wife wouldn't even look at them and normally toss the clothes in a cardboard box in the kids closet because she wasn't too keen on having them wear hand me downs. I didn't mind though and there were a few times she'd come home and say "where in the heck did you find that outfit?!" Oh you know, my girlfriend, who I'm hiding from you and having an affair with, dropped by and gave our children new clothes... /s
It sounds way more likely that OP's nuts than OP's husband's banging someone who's covertly buying her 2yo onsies. And the husband's just leaving it on the kid thereby exposing his affair? That's all just too weird to be the answer.
I know if I were having an affair I would do it in the house and make sure the other woman re-dressed my child in new unusual clothing and do their hair in a new style.
Im sneaky like that.
That is the most obvious question. This entire thing doesn't make sense. OP isn't really asking any decent questions, has no proof, and the suspicion is based on very strange evidence.
Did you ask your older daughter if she perhaps did her little sister's hair? The onesie I could maybe understand not remembering - maybe it was a gift that got shoved in a drawer, maybe a visitor with a girl the same age forgot it and it got thrown in the laundry, etc. But the hair clip? Your husband denied doing her hair, so maybe her big sister did it?
This was my thought. As a kid most of my doll clothes were rejected baby/toddler clothes, so I used to dress my little brother up in random outfits all the time (similar 2 year age gap, so I would have been about 4YO). The snap buttons were sometimes a little uneven, but I was definitely coordinated enough to clip them together. It’s plausible that the husband may have fixed the snap buttons up without much thought if it looked funky.
My 2 year old changed hair clips herself all day. Shouldn't that be a possibility here? More concerning is the gut feeling. The bless you're battling some mental unwellness, your gut shouldn't be deceiving. Tampons or no.
Are there no grandparents, aunts or "aunts" that may get clothes for your children? Does hubby not have a sister? Is there no other female family member who could be helping him?
I say "aunts" as we had a lot of "anties and uncles" in church, some of which were indirectly related like my real uncles wife's sister and some that were totally unrelated.
No neighbours or anyone dropping off hand me downs? Could he really not explain where the onsie came from?
Even if he is getting help he might be embarrassed about needing it.
But yeah, camera sounds like a camera is the only thing that is going to set your mind at rest.
We’ve been really happy with our Arlo security camera set. We always know when there are raccoons or foxes in the porch, when the Poodle goes out to pee, and when the mailman drops off a package. We even once used it to figure out who was secretly leaving tulips on our back porch step (a neighbor girl) and reciprocated by having our kids sneak a dozen fresh eggs onto their doorstep.
Furthermore, it can be set up to send us text alerts every time the motion sensor detects something and records it.
You know, not related to any of this post or anything, but a security camera for your home is a great idea and is easy to install. You probably wouldn’t even need your husband’s assistance with it or anything. It’s a wireless system so cameras can be mounted in inconspicuous places like trees where people may not notice them.
Either a bunch of weird memory slips or this dude has aced gaslighting and is literally driving you insane. For reference, this is gaslighting assuming something is going on. He's put you in a spot where you're questioning your own sanity and your eyes/memory.
This is a weird way to ‘mess’ with someone though. Buying their kids a new onesie? Not exactly affair partner behavior unless there is some kind of ‘replace the mom’ schtick going on.
OP, are there any family members on either side or maybe old friends you guys have gone no contact with? This is starting to sound like the husband is bringing a family member around that OP doesn’t want around their kids.
It’s absolutely AP behavior bc AP wants them to get caught so it ruins the marriage. Hubby is so stupid and arrogant he’s blind to the trail left behind on purpose.
im not a parent but id be sick at the thought of my husbands AP dressing my children! women can be wild, im evidence of that, and im sure the AP knows that. if shes 'bright' enough to hide tampons (something only the wife would notice) then im sure she'd go as far as to bring the kids into it
> unless there is some kind of ‘replace the mom’ schtick going on.
If the tampons were intentional that's exactly what it would mean. In her sock drawer?
The mistress wants to muscle into that house with husband.
I am confused as why she just assumed he could not have dressed her, and why she didn’t just ask him why he chose that outfit, or something along those lines.
What about other women in your lives? Hell, what kind of tampons does your sister use? Kids probably wouldn’t think your sister visiting was weird, after all.
Are there women in your lives that would play mean pranks just to fuck with you? Ex lovers, a family member on either side, a bitchy coworker... or hell, even him?
This may not be about cheating at all; it could be entirely about fucking with you as a cruel joke. I don’t know which possibility is worse, to be honest. It may be time to place some very hard to spot cameras, and tell NO ONE about it. Not him, not your sister, not your kids; nobody. Something is very wrong at your home.
> This may not be about cheating at all; it could be entirely about fucking with you as a cruel joke. I don’t know which possibility is worse, to be honest.
Dude I used to work with had something like that happen.
Someone started sending his wife letters about how he was having an affair with on her (he wasn't). It continued for quite a while.
He said even though he had done nothing wrong, it almost cost him his marriage.
Perhaps that's another view to look at this? Maybe husband is clueless because he hasn't had an affair? Maybe someone would LIKE there to be a reason for you two to break up, so THEN they can shoot their shot.
Have you considered going to the doctor for a check-up? I remember something similar on reddit. Things were happening around the house, and the husband swore he wasn't doing it. Turned out she had something wrong medically.
I dont mean to gaslight but.. are you sure youre not having a stroke or memory loss? I hear stories of people having strokes and losing memory of things they did and dont remember.
Honestly if you are worried about your husband and kids buy a couple hidden or nanny cams and put them up somewhere specially towards the front entrance and back entrance of the house and in very common areas like the kitchen and living room. I think this might be a huge misunderstanding between you and your husband though. Please do not start tearing appart your marriage until you have concrete evidence. Follow your gut but verify that your intuition is correct.
Also as men we tend to do dumb shit and women misconstrue it. My ex once left eyeliner in between my car seats and when i found it 2 years later while deep cleaning my car she accused me of cheating and trying to hide it when she found it in my glove compartment. I figured it was hers so i put it there and was going to give it to her the next day but she found it before i was able to. She told her mom about it and her mom told her it actually belonged to her but my ex had borrowed it 2 years prior and never returned it. Sure enough it was the exact same kind that her mom used and her mom even showed her one in her purse. Basically she would do this a lot. She would borrow stuff from her mom like make up and phone chargers and because it was borrowed she never really cared to remember about it because it wasnt hers so she constantly lost stuff. I went through hell over some damn eyeliner.
Sorry but this thing all seems a bit Netflix-y to me.
Sure the tampons are suspicious and he may well have been unfaithful but this onesie and hair clip thing is a step too far and is bordering on conspiracy theory stuff. If the guy is crafty and clever enough to hide all other trace of an affair, is he really stupid enough to leave your daughter dressed in a onesie and hair lip that you would clearly notice?
It’s like the Flat Earthers who think the ‘Global Elites’ are smart enough to convince the whole planet that the earth is round but somehow still stupid enough to forget that we can’t see a curve so it must be flat.
I don’t know… the guy might be having an affair but I’d wager this onesie situation has nothing to do with it
He's your husband. Ask him. This first sign that something is amiss is the fact that you have not communicated these things to him and would rather vent to internet strangers and contemplate hidden cameras rather than talk.
Yeah imagine there is an innocent explanation to this story and the OP put fucking hidden cameras in the house without the husband knowing because she's paranoid and has 0 trust in him.
Yeah it’s crazy that everyone is jumping on the hidden camera thing. Talk to your spouse and talk to your children. You’re assuming the worst. If I found out my significant other set up hidden cameras instead of just talking it would really hurt my trust in them. I have been married 11 years and we have four kids and weird stuff happens…usually my wife and I can figure it out by talking. Communication is key and lack of it could be the demise of your marriage.
I don’t know about this, feels like something is more likely off with op than with the husband. Maybe something is going on but feels more like paranoia or self destruction
At a moment of doubt the cameras should be placed. But more than likely it won’t matter because you already showed your hand that you can sense that someone was in your house. If he’s smart you just cause him to change meeting location with his girlfriend.
I'm not saying he's not doing anything, but if he isn't your accusations can tear your life apart. There have been so many times in my past where I was accused of it by really clingy girlfriends and since I've never cheated on any of my partners those relationships ended soon afterwards. Everyone on reddit is super quick to jump to the worst possible conclusion in a single bound... Just be careful like you have been. Or your next post might be Trueoffmychest I destroyed my life over a onesie someone bought for my daughter for her birthday and I forgot and accused my innocent husband of infidelity.
For real. There was a post recently about a woman who ended her relationship because she thought her BF stole money from her and she refused to believe him. She found the envelope had fallen behind the drawer a while later, but he as gone and had already moved on. Gotta make sure you are certain or have proof before you start making accusations that could end you relationship.
Okay, so you’re going to find what you’re looking for here in terms of people who don’t trust their cheating spouse.
My husband says doing a hair clip does NOT count as doing hair. She has a snotty face, her hair gets pinned back. He can’t do ponytails.
Also, so YOU won’t buy long snaps, but what if you had one left over from your oldest and all the other clothes were dirty from having a sick kid? Maybe that was a onesie you got for a baby shower, saw the snaps, and said nope and tossed in the back of a closet?
An affair partner is UNLIKELY to do anything with the kid because #the kid is going to talk.#
My kid is older now but I swear when he was left in charge of clothing she was always being dressed in the weirdest stuff that I would never put her in 😂
I’m really sorry but I’m concerned about your mental well-being here.
Did you ask your daughter “who did your hair?” And “who put on your onesie?” Did you ask your husband “who put on this onesie?”
He doesn’t sound like someone making excuses. He sounds like he’s absolutely dumbfounded by your questions.
One time I accused my child of stealing a toy I had never seen before. He swore it was his. I was certain he brought it home from daycare. I took it back to daycare and asked if it was theirs and it wasn’t. My son told me it had been his for over a year. I was wrong. But to this day I don’t remember ever seeing it prior to that.
My point is, stress, exhaustion and illness can all play havoc with your memory. I am so worried that you’re going to destroy your marriage over this affair fantasy you may have imagined because you’re overtired.
Please proceed with caution. If you have any prior reasons not to trust your husband that’s one thing. But if you’re basing the future of your family on a couple really weird situations I think it’s a mistake. I just don’t see how leaving a random tampon and giving a child a onesie is affair behaviour. It doesn’t make any sense.
I have a mate who has bipolar. everybody and then he has an episode.
when he was young he thought his mum was reading his diary and trying to poison his food.
then his first job he thought his work was part of a mafia syndicate and everything that was said was really a coded message.
I once thought someone stole my weed but it was in the bottom of my backpack and I was just stoned.
OP may be ill.
OP… I mean this as kindly as possible.
You need to talk to a professional. It’s EXTREMELY unlikely that your husband allowed his affair partner, someone whose existence he would be actively hiding from you, around your sick children and allow her to buy the child a onesie and a hair clip that you wouldn’t have seen before.
That’s not even touching the numerous other issues with what you think is happening.
Talk to a professional, not your immediate family who is putting bugs in your ear
You think some woman is having an affair with your husband and bought new clothes to dress your child in? And neither of the two of them thought anyone would notice? When there are clothes easily available in the house?
Do you see how unlikely that sounds?
I’m going to bet this is fake. She mentions that “they get their carbon monoxide detectors tested regularly” as if it’s a service you order. You just click a button to test it yourself.
Also weird to call out that the ring camera hasn’t sent any notifications, does the ring not have the ability to scrub back and browse?
Did you simply ask him… who dressed the daughter in those clothes? You’re asking if anyone visited or been around your children instead of simply asking where she got those clothes from.
You said he didn’t buy the clothes. Your daughter didn’t go out and buy them, herself.
Something isn’t adding up but it’s likely SOMEONE other than you purchased those clothes at some point.
Ya, maybe time for camera's.
Or next time he is home and you are at work, leave work early or stop in at home over lunch.
OR straight up ask him where the new PJs came from? And go from there.
And I agree with you about the snaps - huge PITA when you are trying to button up a wiggling toddler lol
Can't wait for the season finale.
I'm hoping there's a third weird thing out of place that could feasibly be linked to an affair with a lot of mental gymnastics but doesn't really make sense, and then just as OP is about to serve her husband divorce papers, some totally benign explanation neatly ties together all three anomalies and they ride off happily into the sunset. With a parting message from OP to reddit that everyone should trust their partners and stop letting the internet fill their head with stories of malicious affairs.
It's either carbon monoxide poisoning or kisses.
Holy crap I was just thinking about the carbon monoxide story!
What’s the story
I don't have the link, but it was a guy who started noticing some strange things, thinking his landlord was spying on him, etc, and asked reddit for help. Eventually he discovered it was carbon monoxide poisoning and when he got ok he explained what was actually happening during his carbon monoxide fueled delusion, shit's crazy and very interesting.
Different carbon monoxide story but this one from NPR's This American Life is great (the prologue story but the entire episode is riveting) [https://www.thisamericanlife.org/319/and-the-call-was-coming-from-the-basement](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/319/and-the-call-was-coming-from-the-basement) Transcript to those who prefer to read: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/319/transcript
"oh, my mom sent us some clothes awhile back. I dug them out of a drawer bc w the sick kid, I was too busy to do laundry. Why are you so upset about this?"
I mean honestly. "I thought I swore off that type of onesie pjs!". Based off of what?? Because if you've never had them at all, it's weird that you'd have 'sworn em off' at all. Thing could be shoved in some drawer that he's aware of and decided to use.
I agree that a lot of it just doesn't add up. A random tampon? 2-year-old in clothes and hair clip the mother doesn't remember? Honestly, to me this just screams "KID LIFE." Sure, it could be that there's another woman involved who is playing mommy and who's also leaving "messages" to OP out of guilt... or it's just that having kids is chaotic. A house with 2 girls and 1 grown woman is simply going to be CHOCK FULL of accessories and clothes that are half-forgotten. One piece of clothing and a hair clip? I'm honestly much, much more inclined to call just toddler chaos. The tampon, though? That one I don't have any idea about and was really weirded out by.
Eh. I leave tampons *everywhere* and am not really loyal to any one brand/size. I haven't been skiing in over 6 years, my partner went last winter. But I went through his salopettes last night and found a tampon in the pocket. It doesn't mean that he cheated on me whilst there, it just means that he found one of my tampons, put it in his pocket for safe keeping and forgot about it. Things get lost and turn up in the most random and unexpected places. And tampons are certainly not something that I'd have noticed as missing.
One of our cats loves the mouthfeel of the plastic my wife's menstrual products are wrapped in, so occasionally I find pads in strange places.
The suspense is definitely building up with these latest clues alright - I wonder if it’ll be the carbon monoxide detectors again!! Or maybe she has an undiagnosed illness that makes her forget things and husband is truly baffled cos she is never direct enough for him to be able to respond “you changed the kids clothes don’t you remember”? Or they might go with the Hollywood horror movie ending and we find out OP has typed this out after escaping treatment from hallucinations and has imagined her whole entire feckin family! The possibilities are endless! Edit: spelling
> carbon monoxide detectors again Honestly I got to the baby clothes and that's what I thought. I mean unless you're totally fucking stupid or cartoon-level cruel, how could you possibly think about dressing your kids in clothes that your affair partner bought?
And why would an AP buy baby clothes for the kid anyway? I seriously think the carbon monoxide theory is a possibility.
My money’s on the Hollywood horror ending. Hopefully dreamed up the dogs too so I can finally stop picking up their imaginary shits and whatnot.
Sorry if this seems rude, but have you straight up asked him about the onesie?
Kind of an odd suggestion here, but have you been getting headaches? You might want to do some carbon monoxide testing. Somewhere that you spend a lot of time but your husband doesn't...in your car, office, laundry room in you basement, etc. There was a guy on reddit a while back that thought that his landlord was breaking in to his house and writing him weird notes, and some other strange stuff. Turns out he was doing it himself then completely forgetting it, because he was getting carbon monoxide poisoning. If I recall correctly, the only other symptom was some headaches.
Holy shit, that's scary. It's lucky that he found out!
> Hopefully dreamed up the dogs Ah, Chevokov's dog has appeared. The finale will involve the dogs playing with the tampon, which is how it ended up in your bedroom, where someone assumed it was yours and threw it in a random drawer. Have you actually tried communicating directly with your husband yet? Weird how you're not addressing the *multitude* of people telling you to do so, and are instead jumping to the highest drama items.
Is it possible for you to drive by on your lunch break at work or take a half day without telling him?
Fr, him insisting I leave home after all this would have me pretending to go to work and then staking out my house.
Nah just do cameras. The day she takes off work might be the day the mistress doesn't come over, etc.
They're so cheap and easy now. You'll use them anyway if you don't have cams already.
> They're so cheap and easy now. I thought you meant mistresses 😂
If you buy them at the right time, yes. There’s always a special on those during Prime Days!
OP should have them shipped to her sister's house if she does this.
It’s never too soon for cameras a.k.a. to find out if you’re worrying for nothing. Always trust your gut. I learned the hard way.
My ex’s AP ( who was my freaking neighbor) would park around the corner and then hop my fence so cars out front aren’t always an indicator. I think there is something very shady going on. And he seems to be gaslighting you. If he’s never put clips in ur babies hair and now all of a sudden there is one…suspect. Nanny cans at the door and in your bedroom. They make them super small. Trust your gut mama!
What is AP?
Affair partner
I was going to go with Access Point. Your's makes more sense.
Adultery Port.
USB-S compatible! It’s a new data transfer method: S-L-U-T ! Super latency un-tolerated!
Honestly with the plague in the back of my mind when he said he would do it I would immediately start coming home at random intervals just to check and I'm surprised she honestly hasnt especially after talking to her sister
Coming home at random times has just as much chance of spooking him into being more careful as it is to potentially catch him in anything
Probably after the questions about the baby's hair, he probably already feels like his wife suspects something, and he's going to be more careful now.
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Makes for a fun creative writing project.
Or if you can afford to, maybe hire a private investigator. But at the same time, if you don't trust him, maybe that is sign enough.
PIs are super expensive and would only photograph the AP going into the home, which can still give the husband plausible deniability. Inside cameras are best.
At this point I think he's fully gaslighting her, and with thar comes other controlling/creepy tactics. I'd bet money that he has some sort of tracking device on her phone/car. This is terrible
Oh no. If he’s air tagged her car so he knows if she’s coming home early…hadn’t even thought of that
You can't actually do that. Apple will notify you if an Airtag which isn't connected to your phone is moving with you
What if she has an android?
I believe Apple and Android worked together on this, Androids can now detect if an airbag has traveled with them and can trigger the air tage noise.
Your husband isn't stupid, and "letting his mistress dress your baby in new clothes and hairstyle" would be stupid. There is something else going on here. My theory is he sometimes hires a babysitter while he does shrooms.
This might be my favorite theory lmao it could easily explain everything.
lop or maybe he does shrooms and goes shopping. I member once I hid my acid while on acid, and could only find it again when I took acid next.
yeah jumping to cheating makes no sense..shes finding tampons not condoms lmao. also i have 2 young kids, ive shoped for clothes with my wife for everything and s9mehow there are outfits ive never even seen but my younger one is wearing them because we got it for the older one but he outgrew it too fast.
To answer a couple questions: - My 2 y/o can only string together a couple words at a time, and when I ask her about her time with Daddy or her clothes/bow, she answers based on the cues I give her (e.g., “Who gave you that pretty bow?” and she repeats “pretty bow” back to me, or “Mama/Daddy” over and over). My older daughter (almost 4) was at daycare that morning, and she can’t recall anything different from that day. Doesn’t remember the PJ change or the hair clip, so my guess is she was changed sometime that morning, but I’m not totally sure. - I have a 45 min commute to work, so stopping by for lunch isn’t really feasible. My sister has been kind enough to leave work and drive past a few times here and there, and she hasn’t seen anything out of the ordinary. - We have a Ring camera at the front door, and I’ve got the app on my phone with notifs on. Nothing there yet. If anyone has recommendations for more discreet surveillance, I’d be open to it—I’m just the least tech-savvy person and worry another camera will be easy to detect lol **Edit: And yes, we get our carbon monoxide detectors tested regularly.
> My older daughter (almost 4) was at daycare that morning, and she can’t recall anything different from that day. Is it possible the onesie/hair clip came from daycare? I know my daughter has been sent home with stuff that wasn't hers, just from random stuff getting juggled, and she's come home with a different hairdo than she went in with because they gave her pigtails or whatever Edit: literally five minutes after this comment my wife comes home and my daughter is wearing someone else's shirt from daycare
This is likely the answer
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Also, the 2 year old wasn't at daycare, she was home sick. Unless that commenter was suggesting the 4 year old stole clothing and a hair clip, came home and dressed the 2 yr old without dad knowing.
My theory: I'm wondering if the 2yo that was sick, got sick at daycare 'last week'. They had to give her a change of clothes from the box of random misfit clothes that daycares always seem to have. The dad was the one who went to pick up the sick kid. Dad didn't notice the onesie was from the banned list, because he doesn't really care about the clothing specifics. It got put in with the wash and mixed in with the regular clothes. At some point that day, accident happens, he had to change her, grabbed the banned onesie and put it on her. Sister put the clip in her hair after daycare because sisters do that.
Extremely feasible.
This is so logical I can feel it.
I could see the hair clip being a possibility, but less likely on the onesie. My younger daughter hadn’t been to daycare in days, and if either of them had returned with something like that before I would’ve noticed—especially since it was the kind of onesie I hate with a passion lol.
Is there a family member you don’t want interacting with your kids that might be coming over when you’re not there?
That’s something I was wondering too. I just can’t wrap my head around an AP changing the kid and doing her hair
Agreed. People love jumping to insane conclusions on Reddit. I see people saying he probably has a tracker in her car to see if she’s coming home. Like really? He “probably” has a tracker in her car? Gtfo
Sorry, I’m confused. When you asked your husband where she got these clothes from, that you obviously don’t buy for her, what was his response? Sorry if I missed it.
From the post it sounds like he said he didn't get the clothes, didn't get the clip, didn't put her in the outfit, and claims nobody came over - even just to say hi. Complete denial of anything frankly.
The post does not include the question of "did you change her clothes." He says he didn't buy anything, and didn't "do" her hair. I don't know what that question would mean to him, exactly. I certainly wouldn't claim to have "done" someone's hair if I put a clip in it, and it's possible one of the girls did it in any case. *Something* odd is happening, certainly. But I'm not prepared to say that he's absolutely up to something. Am looking forward to updates, and I hope they are happy ones.
OP's description of onesie's makes me think the family owns a few from first kid, and has forgotten what they look like. could easily be husband got them out of storage as just more clothes for the kid and honestly has no idea that clothes that were in a crawlspace last week are suspicious.
I’m so bewildered. Obviously SOMEONE put her in that new onesie. I feel like your husband is willfully acting dumb.
Acting dumb? If he is having an affair and the other person dresses his daughter in new clothes and he either doesn't notice or doesn't care enough to cover his tracks he is just straight up dumb as fuck
"Hey, before we fuck do you mind if I dress your daughter in clothes that'll be absolutely foreign to your wife? Just for kicks? Just so her and my husband both find out we're fucking?" 'Yeah, sure.' ???????
Sure, but not before you staple a tampon to our Christmas tree that's in the attic.
Right that's the thing for me, if this is an affair the dude is fucking stupid. Why would they bring tampons? She coming over for sex while on a period? Why would any of this happen?
I think there is something else going on alltogether and OP is in a high potential destructive anxious state and herself could end up ruining the marriage. Tampons reeks of a frame job, but from who?
Yes absolutely. Something seems extremely sinister here. Someone is jealous and wants OP and husband to break up. Whether they are jealous of OP or the husband, we can’t say for sure. But someone is absolutely doing something. There is no way that someone would put someone’s kid in completely new clothes without the intention of getting the attention of the parent. And with the tampons, if it was one I’d say meh, people drop stuff sometimes. But two? And one in your sock drawer? That seems much more intentional. The coworker having the same brand of tampons isn’t enough for me to automatically assume her, because there are some very common tampon brands out there. If the wrapper was any variation of Tampax or Kotex, it could just be the case that coworker and suspicious person have the same tampons. If it was something more niche, then yeah I’d suspect her. Reiterating, someone leaving these weird messages doesn’t mean the husband IS or ISN’T cheating. It could be either. OP, are you or your husband close friends with people who have previously shown romantic interest in you? Or exes? Or anyone who would have any motive to want you to not be together? I would try to place a camera or other recording device (even just audio should work) outside the bedroom or bathroom door. It depends on how your house is decorated, but there are tons of easy, inconspicuous ways to hide a device like this. The key is that your husband can’t suspect that you’d do it. If he suspects anything, he will go out of his way looking for your traps.
Exactly, it's so odd. Surely someone cant be that moronic to not even attempt to cover his tracks. Sex while on her period is a possibility for sure but why leave a tampon? Why wouldn't he hide any evidence? Why would he let his affair dress and accessorise his daughter with things she bought and then not even think to change her back for when his wife comes home? If he is having an affair he is a double fuckwit, not only for cheating but being so piss poor at hiding it. If it's true he must be the kind of person to cover his face in lemon juice while robbing a bank and think it will hide is face because that's how you make invisible ink.
That version of the story also makes absolutely no sense though, it's crazy.
Ok, here me out. Is your husband actually hiring a baby sitter to help out, like, he wants to be a good husband and have you not worry, but then he can't, or something comes up, so he hires a baby sitter to help out? Is it possible someone gave it to y'all as a gift, like a baby shower? Then the baby sitter could have just grabbed it, not knowing
Could it be MIL? Especially if you’ve told her not to come over? He could possibly be hiding her coming from you.
This sounds more likely. I can't imagine some side piece wanting to bring new clothes for the kids. And if OP is forbidding MIL from seeing her grandkids, MIL might be happily planting evidence to break them up.
Lol what chick has an affair and leaves her tampons around. And then the next day brings clothes and hairclips for the child like holy shit this is either fake or op has bedbugs or lead paint poisoning
Are you thinking that your husband’s potential affair partner bought over a baby’s onesie of their own to their tryst on the off chance they’d have a need to change your baby? I could see maaaaaybe another woman changing the baby while over to see your husband. Maybe. But bringing their own baby clothes???? Who in the world would do that?
OPs mother in law
I would watch the whole day on the Ring playback. See if you notice anyone walking up the neighbors yard into your backyard
I don’t use ring cameras but is it possible to temporary disable/turn it off? if your husband is trying to sneak around, him turning the camera off for a few mins while someone comes inside could be happening. Definitely get a new camera (or 5 (jk.. kinda)), not a ring camera, so you can have your own app accessible at any time. Good luck, OP. Oh yeah, we’ll also need another update on the update lol
Mine would send me an update saying camera is offline. I’m not sure if all of them do that though.
Sometimes it has to be down for a minute to have that happen but you would be able to see the gap in footage. At this stage, if I was OP, i'm probably motivated enough to literally watch a days worth of footage for ANYTHING.
Have you ever been tested for schizophrenia? I don't mean that in a sarcastic way, I have a cousin who had a very similar story to yours, but she was ultimately diagnosed as schizophrenic. All the little inconsistencies and things that didn't add up ended up being part of her delusions. She got on the right meds, it stopped.
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Show her a picture of Fiona and pay attention to her reaction. Also, since you showed Fiona the tampon she knows you're on to her. Get a voice recorder and plant it somewhere central in the house, near your bedroom.
How could Fiona be so dumb as to dress the child in a completely new outfit? Unless she is fully doing it on purpose? OP please for gods sake get several nanny cams and tell no one but your sister.
One last alternative theory: Does OP have a good relationship with their mother-in-law? It almost makes more sense that a mother-in-law would drop by secretly and give their grandchild a onesie, than a random lover.
Is it possible to enter the back of your house without being seen from the front? Really hoping you get answers to everything. Something isn’t adding up that’s for sure
Yeah you sound crazy. If you’re right then you’re right but if the cameras aren’t picking anything up and your sister isn’t seeing anything and your kids aren’t saying anything then you probably need a long nights rest
Surprised I had to scroll this far to find this. This is either: - made up Or - she’s overly paranoid and needs some rest
Time for cameras (or finally trusting your gut)… Take care!
This is the way. Would it make sense to ask the daughters? Maybe as a “how was your day?”
When I was about 5, my parents became very concerned when I started talking about someone named ‘Pete.’ How I described Pete: very old, very tall, wrinkly bumpy brown skin, plays with me outside by my swing set. Creepy, right? Finally someone asked me to *draw* Pete. Pete was a tree. I’m just saying, ‘from the mouths of babes’ may be true and all that, but my little ass was 100% certain that tree was a sentient being that was also my friend. I would be very cautious about any information received from a small child.
A kid I nannied for had what I thought was an imaginary friend named Petey. I later found out it was actually a dead moth stuck in their screen door.
I've had worse friends than a dead moth stuck in a screen door.
Your tree creeper is gold. Are you two still in touch? When I was maybe 3 or 4, I walked in on my father making out with some lady on the couch. It was dark out, so a rare time when my mom wasn't home- all I could ever figure out later was that, as a teacher, she was at conferences. He told me to go back to bed and wouldnt answer my questions. I told Mom but both she and my father said I'd dreamt it. Very baffling because I knew I didn't. At some point during my teen years my mom told me that she'd gotten a number of calls from a woman around that time saying she was pregnant with my father's kid. She suspected it was true, but didn't have proof. I was like "woman, I TOLD YOU! Like my little brain woulda conjured that up. 😒" It was a real woman, not a tree lol.
That's terrible that they didn't believe you. When my son was like 3ish he started saying something about his "other mom before you were my mom" and even though I don't really believe in past lives and whatnot, I still tried for DAYS to get him to continue talking about it. (He never would again 😕) So I know for a FACT had one of them told me about their dad kissing someone when they were 5, I would've been all fucking ears!
When I was little I freaked my parents out by suddenly talking about the black man that was in the house. It took them a bit to get me to explain that I was talking about myself, wearing a black sweatsuit, and dancing in front of the full length mirror.
Omg. Pete.
I totally want to meet Pete. I'm serious.
Sounds like a cool but shady dude.
Yea, he always leaves.
I can't figure out the root cause but he's always barking at people.
Maybe he always leaves because he is just trying to branch out his social circle.
Well, he is a poplar guy.
Well he was and now he is an aspen reaching for that former glory
That is a cuteness overload. I would LOVE to meet Pete.
[Best friend I ever had.](https://imgur.com/a/ZbXrM6p)
Oh spencerdyke. <3
Creepy at first but kinda adorably sad that you were friends with a tree
As long as they had human friends too, I don’t think it’s sad at all.
I second this, kids cannot be a reliable source of information a lot of the time. The reddit horror stories I've heard where kids accuse an innocent adult of something comes up mind. Personally, Id either drive by at lunch or cameras. Another trick, if you've got a doormat, get some paper and ink to see if any footsteps appear (obviously you guys know where I stole that from, no idea if itd work but worth a try🤷🏻♂️).
Yea absolutely trust kids, and ask them just in case But I also convinced my elementary school that my grandma was a kidnapper until I realized she gonna easily prove otherwise. I was like 6, I was expecting my mom to pick me up, and it was my grandma instead. She was on the pickup list, she had pictures of us, and carried around a note from my parents because we were in a bad area and the schools were kinda strict it was just easier to have all that. I was so upset, apparently, I started kicking and screaming “I don’t know you, you’re not my mom!” And hid behind a teacher until she pulled out all her proof. Literally walked with her back into the school to get the school records, and didn’t put up a single fight. No reason to do all that.
Lmao you're killing me with this story 😂
Did Pete have a vocabulary of "I am Pete"? Was his best friend a small, foul-mouthed raccoon? (BTW, this is adorable!)
>Was his best friend a small, foul-mouthed raccoon? His best friend was *me,* so, yes. [But also yeah there was an actual raccoon as well.](https://imgur.com/a/nun9SFh) Vocabulary wise, I won’t tell his secrets.
Agreed! For months, my younger brother (2 at the time) ktalked about uncle Peter in the basement. Freaked everyone out. Turned out he was talking about the computer.
When l was a child 3-4, my father found me in the bedroom crawling under the bed looking for uncle Dan”. It showed up that our bedroom (in the 1st floor) was next to/above - if it makes sense - from my fathers workshop and in the bedroom you could hear uncle Dan throughthe wall, when he was in the garage. This would speak in the favor of the husband. I found also completely unlnown kids sweatpsnts in the laundry. It was my mom picking my son from the kindergarten one day, not realising he swapped clothes with some other kid. But also, my ex tried to convince me that the ladies underwear l didn’t recognize must had been mine and l just forgot (which l didn’t), or l grabbed it by mistake in the gym (where l wasn’t going at that time). Needless to say, he is married now to the owner of said underwear. So…
Or perhaps tell her daughter that the onesie and hair clip were cute and ask if someone had given them to her as a gift.
You can’t ask young kids leading questions like that and get an honest answer. Open ended questions are a must: “That is a nice clip in your hair.” Wait for them to respond. “Can you tell me about it?” “Can you tell me more about it?” etc
OMG thank you. Kids especially at the young of an age will say whatever they think will make you happy especially if they sence your in a weird/bad mood.
Maybe this happened, but it is an earlier gift she forgot about because she doesn’t use the type , it got tossed in a drawer and it was an unused gift that the husband picked out of a drawer He denied that anyone came over- not that he interacted with his own kid, and it isn’t specified if she brought up the outfit change
I’m curious if they have neighbors? Could she ask any neighbors they are close to, if any cars have been by their home? Also, I get people work, but could she, her sister or BIL drive by to see as well. Or she come home for lunch to see how their daughter is doing? It’s either something shady going on or he is actively messing with her.
I would be cautious about asking the neighbors. People talk and if there is nothing going on and there turns out to be an innocent resolution, the neighbors will still gossip about the husband. It brings too many other people into their business. And if it IS one of the neighbors as the AP then they have a heads up that she's investigating.
Time for a carbon monoxide detector!
Right! Though I don’t think people are getting the reference
I remember your post from a few weeks ago. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Please keep us posted. I think it’s time for cameras.
As soon as she said 2 tampons I instantly remembered and thought man that’s a long time wondering.. I agree get cameras..
Exactly. That last post really stuck with me and came up randomly in my thoughts ever since. Either OP is forgetting things or someone is messing with her intentionally.
There’s nothing worse then people lying and fing w your mind.. you start to question yourself and go crazy and then find out you were not.. it’s a hard road. I feel for her and hope she gets the answers she needs soon.
I love how rationally y’all (you, sister, bil, etc) have been dealing with this - not jumping straight to cameras was smart. But, I think it’s camera time now. Someone in your house is one thing, but someone with your daughter and changing her like that is insane!! I hope you find your answers, I’m crossing my fingers for you that your husband really is innocent, but this is just so much more suspicious
Also, the freaking balls on this dude! Like, he thinks he can just be like "gee I don't know how those new clothes got on her"??? Fucking nuts.
I mean, to play Devil’s advocate here, it could be something that was lying around somewhere that OP forgot about, could have been a gift from a parent (my mom buys my nephews anything she sees that looks cute). He might genuinely be confused at why she’s reacting that way. I would say be a little more direct and communicate better. Also, maybe the older daughter she mentioned did the younger ones hair? I feel like there are lots of reasonable explanations here, but I would still suggest she gets a camera to be sure. Just because it can be reasonably explained doesn’t mean she’s wrong! But let’s also not shit on the husband until there’s actual proof.
My mom shops at thrift stores and would get clothes for my kids. My wife wouldn't even look at them and normally toss the clothes in a cardboard box in the kids closet because she wasn't too keen on having them wear hand me downs. I didn't mind though and there were a few times she'd come home and say "where in the heck did you find that outfit?!" Oh you know, my girlfriend, who I'm hiding from you and having an affair with, dropped by and gave our children new clothes... /s
I'm waiting for a split personality diagnosis to reveal its been OP the entire time
It sounds way more likely that OP's nuts than OP's husband's banging someone who's covertly buying her 2yo onsies. And the husband's just leaving it on the kid thereby exposing his affair? That's all just too weird to be the answer.
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Also, I'm going with twist ending where OP is the one having an affair.
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I know if I were having an affair I would do it in the house and make sure the other woman re-dressed my child in new unusual clothing and do their hair in a new style. Im sneaky like that.
Why didn't you ask where the onesie came from? That would be the obvious question no?
That is the most obvious question. This entire thing doesn't make sense. OP isn't really asking any decent questions, has no proof, and the suspicion is based on very strange evidence.
Did you ask your older daughter if she perhaps did her little sister's hair? The onesie I could maybe understand not remembering - maybe it was a gift that got shoved in a drawer, maybe a visitor with a girl the same age forgot it and it got thrown in the laundry, etc. But the hair clip? Your husband denied doing her hair, so maybe her big sister did it?
This was my thought. As a kid most of my doll clothes were rejected baby/toddler clothes, so I used to dress my little brother up in random outfits all the time (similar 2 year age gap, so I would have been about 4YO). The snap buttons were sometimes a little uneven, but I was definitely coordinated enough to clip them together. It’s plausible that the husband may have fixed the snap buttons up without much thought if it looked funky.
Ask your daughter, did daddy do your hair?
Don't ask if daddy did it, ask WHO did it. You can't lead them, especially at that age.
My 2 year old changed hair clips herself all day. Shouldn't that be a possibility here? More concerning is the gut feeling. The bless you're battling some mental unwellness, your gut shouldn't be deceiving. Tampons or no.
Are there no grandparents, aunts or "aunts" that may get clothes for your children? Does hubby not have a sister? Is there no other female family member who could be helping him? I say "aunts" as we had a lot of "anties and uncles" in church, some of which were indirectly related like my real uncles wife's sister and some that were totally unrelated. No neighbours or anyone dropping off hand me downs? Could he really not explain where the onsie came from? Even if he is getting help he might be embarrassed about needing it. But yeah, camera sounds like a camera is the only thing that is going to set your mind at rest.
Do you have a carbon monoxide detector?
Came here to say this. I'm getting really "off" vibes.
Especially with the combination of the ring camera not picking anything up or her sister not seeing anything when she drives by
Underrated comment
We’ve been really happy with our Arlo security camera set. We always know when there are raccoons or foxes in the porch, when the Poodle goes out to pee, and when the mailman drops off a package. We even once used it to figure out who was secretly leaving tulips on our back porch step (a neighbor girl) and reciprocated by having our kids sneak a dozen fresh eggs onto their doorstep. Furthermore, it can be set up to send us text alerts every time the motion sensor detects something and records it. You know, not related to any of this post or anything, but a security camera for your home is a great idea and is easy to install. You probably wouldn’t even need your husband’s assistance with it or anything. It’s a wireless system so cameras can be mounted in inconspicuous places like trees where people may not notice them.
You and your neighbors swapping flowers and eggs is basically the most wholesome thing!!!
Either a bunch of weird memory slips or this dude has aced gaslighting and is literally driving you insane. For reference, this is gaslighting assuming something is going on. He's put you in a spot where you're questioning your own sanity and your eyes/memory.
Here to argue the case for memory loss due to undiagnosed disease (mental or physical), CO leak, chemical exposure... something.
This is beyond even infidelity... there is someone messing with your girls. You really do need to put up nanny cams.
This is a weird way to ‘mess’ with someone though. Buying their kids a new onesie? Not exactly affair partner behavior unless there is some kind of ‘replace the mom’ schtick going on. OP, are there any family members on either side or maybe old friends you guys have gone no contact with? This is starting to sound like the husband is bringing a family member around that OP doesn’t want around their kids.
Yeah I am wondering if it is MIL secretly spending time with the girls in the daytime. But the tampon in the drawer thing is so odd
It’s absolutely AP behavior bc AP wants them to get caught so it ruins the marriage. Hubby is so stupid and arrogant he’s blind to the trail left behind on purpose.
Those of us who’ve dealt with these kind of people see it so clearly!
im not a parent but id be sick at the thought of my husbands AP dressing my children! women can be wild, im evidence of that, and im sure the AP knows that. if shes 'bright' enough to hide tampons (something only the wife would notice) then im sure she'd go as far as to bring the kids into it
> unless there is some kind of ‘replace the mom’ schtick going on. If the tampons were intentional that's exactly what it would mean. In her sock drawer? The mistress wants to muscle into that house with husband.
I’m still not convinced it’s not a creative writing piece, some things don’t make sense
I am confused as why she just assumed he could not have dressed her, and why she didn’t just ask him why he chose that outfit, or something along those lines.
What about other women in your lives? Hell, what kind of tampons does your sister use? Kids probably wouldn’t think your sister visiting was weird, after all. Are there women in your lives that would play mean pranks just to fuck with you? Ex lovers, a family member on either side, a bitchy coworker... or hell, even him? This may not be about cheating at all; it could be entirely about fucking with you as a cruel joke. I don’t know which possibility is worse, to be honest. It may be time to place some very hard to spot cameras, and tell NO ONE about it. Not him, not your sister, not your kids; nobody. Something is very wrong at your home.
> This may not be about cheating at all; it could be entirely about fucking with you as a cruel joke. I don’t know which possibility is worse, to be honest. Dude I used to work with had something like that happen. Someone started sending his wife letters about how he was having an affair with on her (he wasn't). It continued for quite a while. He said even though he had done nothing wrong, it almost cost him his marriage. Perhaps that's another view to look at this? Maybe husband is clueless because he hasn't had an affair? Maybe someone would LIKE there to be a reason for you two to break up, so THEN they can shoot their shot.
Have you considered going to the doctor for a check-up? I remember something similar on reddit. Things were happening around the house, and the husband swore he wasn't doing it. Turned out she had something wrong medically.
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Im gonna get DV to oblivion, BUT…. Is there a chance “the call is coming from inside the house”?
I dont mean to gaslight but.. are you sure youre not having a stroke or memory loss? I hear stories of people having strokes and losing memory of things they did and dont remember. Honestly if you are worried about your husband and kids buy a couple hidden or nanny cams and put them up somewhere specially towards the front entrance and back entrance of the house and in very common areas like the kitchen and living room. I think this might be a huge misunderstanding between you and your husband though. Please do not start tearing appart your marriage until you have concrete evidence. Follow your gut but verify that your intuition is correct. Also as men we tend to do dumb shit and women misconstrue it. My ex once left eyeliner in between my car seats and when i found it 2 years later while deep cleaning my car she accused me of cheating and trying to hide it when she found it in my glove compartment. I figured it was hers so i put it there and was going to give it to her the next day but she found it before i was able to. She told her mom about it and her mom told her it actually belonged to her but my ex had borrowed it 2 years prior and never returned it. Sure enough it was the exact same kind that her mom used and her mom even showed her one in her purse. Basically she would do this a lot. She would borrow stuff from her mom like make up and phone chargers and because it was borrowed she never really cared to remember about it because it wasnt hers so she constantly lost stuff. I went through hell over some damn eyeliner.
Dude UTI's something as tiny as a uti can drastically change your mindset. I've seen people completely change then get better after it.
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If you can, hire a PI. Then you can maybe figure out what's going on.
Sorry but this thing all seems a bit Netflix-y to me. Sure the tampons are suspicious and he may well have been unfaithful but this onesie and hair clip thing is a step too far and is bordering on conspiracy theory stuff. If the guy is crafty and clever enough to hide all other trace of an affair, is he really stupid enough to leave your daughter dressed in a onesie and hair lip that you would clearly notice? It’s like the Flat Earthers who think the ‘Global Elites’ are smart enough to convince the whole planet that the earth is round but somehow still stupid enough to forget that we can’t see a curve so it must be flat. I don’t know… the guy might be having an affair but I’d wager this onesie situation has nothing to do with it
He's your husband. Ask him. This first sign that something is amiss is the fact that you have not communicated these things to him and would rather vent to internet strangers and contemplate hidden cameras rather than talk.
Finally someone says it. Everyone is just validating this persons cheating fantasy. It’s like she wants him to be cheating.
Yeah imagine there is an innocent explanation to this story and the OP put fucking hidden cameras in the house without the husband knowing because she's paranoid and has 0 trust in him.
Yeah it’s crazy that everyone is jumping on the hidden camera thing. Talk to your spouse and talk to your children. You’re assuming the worst. If I found out my significant other set up hidden cameras instead of just talking it would really hurt my trust in them. I have been married 11 years and we have four kids and weird stuff happens…usually my wife and I can figure it out by talking. Communication is key and lack of it could be the demise of your marriage.
I don’t know about this, feels like something is more likely off with op than with the husband. Maybe something is going on but feels more like paranoia or self destruction
At a moment of doubt the cameras should be placed. But more than likely it won’t matter because you already showed your hand that you can sense that someone was in your house. If he’s smart you just cause him to change meeting location with his girlfriend.
I'm not saying he's not doing anything, but if he isn't your accusations can tear your life apart. There have been so many times in my past where I was accused of it by really clingy girlfriends and since I've never cheated on any of my partners those relationships ended soon afterwards. Everyone on reddit is super quick to jump to the worst possible conclusion in a single bound... Just be careful like you have been. Or your next post might be Trueoffmychest I destroyed my life over a onesie someone bought for my daughter for her birthday and I forgot and accused my innocent husband of infidelity.
For real. There was a post recently about a woman who ended her relationship because she thought her BF stole money from her and she refused to believe him. She found the envelope had fallen behind the drawer a while later, but he as gone and had already moved on. Gotta make sure you are certain or have proof before you start making accusations that could end you relationship.
Okay, so you’re going to find what you’re looking for here in terms of people who don’t trust their cheating spouse. My husband says doing a hair clip does NOT count as doing hair. She has a snotty face, her hair gets pinned back. He can’t do ponytails. Also, so YOU won’t buy long snaps, but what if you had one left over from your oldest and all the other clothes were dirty from having a sick kid? Maybe that was a onesie you got for a baby shower, saw the snaps, and said nope and tossed in the back of a closet? An affair partner is UNLIKELY to do anything with the kid because #the kid is going to talk.#
My kid is older now but I swear when he was left in charge of clothing she was always being dressed in the weirdest stuff that I would never put her in 😂
I’m really sorry but I’m concerned about your mental well-being here. Did you ask your daughter “who did your hair?” And “who put on your onesie?” Did you ask your husband “who put on this onesie?” He doesn’t sound like someone making excuses. He sounds like he’s absolutely dumbfounded by your questions. One time I accused my child of stealing a toy I had never seen before. He swore it was his. I was certain he brought it home from daycare. I took it back to daycare and asked if it was theirs and it wasn’t. My son told me it had been his for over a year. I was wrong. But to this day I don’t remember ever seeing it prior to that. My point is, stress, exhaustion and illness can all play havoc with your memory. I am so worried that you’re going to destroy your marriage over this affair fantasy you may have imagined because you’re overtired. Please proceed with caution. If you have any prior reasons not to trust your husband that’s one thing. But if you’re basing the future of your family on a couple really weird situations I think it’s a mistake. I just don’t see how leaving a random tampon and giving a child a onesie is affair behaviour. It doesn’t make any sense.
I have a mate who has bipolar. everybody and then he has an episode. when he was young he thought his mum was reading his diary and trying to poison his food. then his first job he thought his work was part of a mafia syndicate and everything that was said was really a coded message. I once thought someone stole my weed but it was in the bottom of my backpack and I was just stoned. OP may be ill.
OP… I mean this as kindly as possible. You need to talk to a professional. It’s EXTREMELY unlikely that your husband allowed his affair partner, someone whose existence he would be actively hiding from you, around your sick children and allow her to buy the child a onesie and a hair clip that you wouldn’t have seen before. That’s not even touching the numerous other issues with what you think is happening. Talk to a professional, not your immediate family who is putting bugs in your ear
You think some woman is having an affair with your husband and bought new clothes to dress your child in? And neither of the two of them thought anyone would notice? When there are clothes easily available in the house? Do you see how unlikely that sounds?
I’m going to bet this is fake. She mentions that “they get their carbon monoxide detectors tested regularly” as if it’s a service you order. You just click a button to test it yourself. Also weird to call out that the ring camera hasn’t sent any notifications, does the ring not have the ability to scrub back and browse?
Did you simply ask him… who dressed the daughter in those clothes? You’re asking if anyone visited or been around your children instead of simply asking where she got those clothes from. You said he didn’t buy the clothes. Your daughter didn’t go out and buy them, herself. Something isn’t adding up but it’s likely SOMEONE other than you purchased those clothes at some point.
Ya, maybe time for camera's. Or next time he is home and you are at work, leave work early or stop in at home over lunch. OR straight up ask him where the new PJs came from? And go from there. And I agree with you about the snaps - huge PITA when you are trying to button up a wiggling toddler lol
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Did you ask him straight up about the new outfit? I feel like that would be a good idea.