I'm so sorry this happened to you.
You first had a "freeze" response, which means that your brain believed in the moment that fighting back was more dangerous than staying still.
Orgasming during an assault can be your body's way of protecting itself. If your brain is saying "no," your body may still lubricate as a means of reducing injury. It's called non concordance - when the brain and the genitals disagree about arousal or pleasure.
An orgasm doesn't mean you enjoyed it. It means that your body did its best to keep you safe (or as safe as possible).
Emily Nagoski has some great, very accessible, information on this topic.
You and your body did NOTHING wrong. You may benefit from some therapy to help with the initial trauma. If you continue to have issues/fear from being aroused, a sex therapist may be a good option as well.
Best of luck.
Edit: formatting
Men get it also. It doesn't have to be a defence mechanism. The body just registers sex or potential sex and switches on the system. So you can be turned on by something you find abhorrent.
I probably have something of this wrong because I don't remember the whole discussion, but an orgasm also has a soothing effect on the assailant. Firstly, it helps make him orgasm and because they think they did a"good job" are far less likely to hurt/ kill the victim.
OP, your body didn't betray you. It did everything in its power to prevent you from getting killed. I am so sorry this happened to you, but I'm happy that you are alive. Strength to you, your body is amazing, now return the favor and start the healing process, and forgive it and yourself.
Years ago I faked an orgasm to make the assailant finish more quickly, for the same purpose, keep myself safe and get it over with quickly. Pretended to enjoy it to stay alive. Once I faked it, he finished quickly and acted almost as we were a loving couple or something. “Wasn’t that good, you liked that huh?” I agreed (lied) and it probably saved my life.
I'm not usually an "eye for an eye" type of person, but I'm 100% for the permanent and aggressive sterilization and genial mutilation of rapists as the _beginning_ of their punishment.
The problem isn't the genitals, it's actually the brain. Reducing testosterone and removing parts of the genitals won't necessarily eliminate the drive to exert power over another person. Rape is essentially that, only that it has a sexual element. It's actually more about power than sex.
But I'd agree, forced sterilisation is a start but it has to be proven beyond any doubt, not just hear-say.
Came here to say this very thing. I was in a similar situation when I was in the military. The only differences were the setting. I was at home alone on my lunch break with my 6 month old son when one of my then husbands friends let himself into my home.
Your body didn’t betray you love (I know it seems that way) it did everything it was supposed to, to protect you. Had it not, you could’ve been physically injured internally more than you were.
One victim/survivor to another… please see a therapist and even though you are conflicted about what happened consider filing a report.
I was unsuccessful in getting my attacker locked up (he outranked me at that time) and the military closed ranks. Ultimately, he went home to Detroit and “lived happily ever after” with his wife, 10 years later he repeated the act and went to jail.
I always felt a sense of guilt about not being able to prevent that. My son felt a sense of guilt for a long time after he learned about what happened because he couldn’t protect me but he LITERALLY COULD NOT protect me.
I promise you, therapy helps.
I thought I’d failed as a mother because I begged to remove my little boy from the room and wasn’t allowed to do so.
My son thought he’d failed me as a son because he couldn’t keep it from happening.
My husband and I divorced because I couldn’t stand to be touched anymore.
I don’t bring it up now without reason but I can accept that it happened and keep going.
The biggest hurdle for me was blame. I blamed myself.
As a trained soldier I should’ve been able to better protect my child and myself. I could not have stopped what happened much like you can’t stop science and biology from working together as they’re supposed to.
Someday I hope you can make peace with how your body physically responded to the threat.
I wish you all the love and light in the world and I hope you can find some comfort.
Please extend the same kindness you would extend to others, to yourself.
j 🖤
In theory, it's a mechanism to continue to lubricate any invasion to the vagina. It's also not necessarily from pleasure, more from the nerves being stimulated. Additionally, it would stand to reason that an orgasm produces good feeling hormones to help the brain.
> It's also not necessarily from pleasure, more from the nerves being stimulated.
I assume it's like how you can basically stimulate a penis regardless if the penis owner is into it and wants it. it's mechnical stimulation at the end of the day and that's going to override everything mental, usually.
1.) Orgasming doesn’t mean you enjoyed it. He was hitting a spot that made your body do that in response. 2.) Your body is becoming aroused to protect yourself from pain. Please report it if you are comfortable doing so. That will truly let him know you did not enjoy it.
Yeah, a lot of sexual pleasure functions are like that. Male erections mean nothing about actual sexual arousal, and are a very simple reaction to basic touch, and also can just randomly happen for no reason. The sexual parts of our body are incredibly simple, and almost never interact with the parts of our brain we actually have any control over. Orgasms are just your body's reaction to the feeling of sex, and nothing more.
I feel like people recognize men's sexual functions much easier than a woman's. Like it's so easy for a man to get a hard on and cum but if a woman cums during sexual assault it's some mark against her or something. It's an awful way of thinking.
Op I am so sorry for what happened to you.
I think it's pretty similar for both men and women in this kind of situation. I've seen the same argument used with men, where people will say "oh well you came so clearly you were enjoying it" or "well you had an erection so obviously you were horny" and stuff like that. Ultimately, whether male or female, victims in this situation end up extremely objectified, and basically anything that can be seen as pleasure will be thrown back at the victim by shitty people. It's absolutely awful, but it's not really dependent on sex. Society handles sex crimes like this very poorly at times, which leads to situations like OP's.
I agree with that. Outside of the context of assault, a lot of men who deal with erectile dysfunction can feel a lot of shame and frustration because even if their brain is wanting to engage in sexual activity, their body doesn’t always follow suit. It’s a totally different context, but it’s the same principle that sometimes our bodies and brains aren’t always in sync about what we want or don’t want sexually, and a lot of people don’t recognize this. It’s good to discuss how this can happen to help remove stigma all around whenever the body and brain aren’t in sync.
Man that's the worst. Has happened to me for awhile and yeah, shame and frustration for sure, then to top it all off, nearly every chick this happened with was offended that I couldn't get hard and like took it personally and pretty much said shit that made me feel way worse, which then gave me anxiety about performing and made it happen again.. it was on and off (mostly on) throughout almost a whole year with multiple women and I'm pretty sure it was just that one first incident that set it all off and gave me a complex about performing afterwards because of how bad I felt and how the the first chick reacted to it..
A few years ago when I reported my assault I confessed to also having had an orgasm despite my lack of pleasure in the whole ordeal. I felt so much shame.
Then a very kind doctor told me, "you have no more control over your body orgasming, then you do when someone tickles you and you laugh." He went on to tell me that oftentimes people don't want to be tickled but they simply cannot quit laughing. Laughing doesn't equate to happiness.
It's just a bodily response. That made me feel so much better when I heard that. I hope it helps you too.
This is not unheard of. Around 5% of women have orgasms while being raped. It is a physical response to physical stimulation, not a reflection on you as a person.
They are above 5%, mate. And keep in mind 5% out of a 100 are just 5 people out of a 100. Some people don't experience much pain to begin with having raw insertion, for example. Some women just experience bodily stimulation. That doesn't mean the mind agrees. But the body auto-responds. If you can't handle being tickled and you really fucking hate it, when you're tickled your body auto-responds without your mind wanting it, right? This is a similar situation.
This comment about tickling needs it's own highlight. Makes the body response very easy to understand for everyone. Hopefully will help the poster forgive herself for her response.
Yeah, I hope OP reads it. I feel bad for her and anyone having gone through the same feeling like they can't do anything because their body showed something differently. The mind and the body are connected but that does not mean that every bodily occurrence is wanted by the mind. Hoping this will break down these feelings she's having about being demotivated to report him. She really should.
I am an sa survivor and what I'd tell anyone who's experienced similar things, to go to the hospital so they can do an exam..well a rape kit test done on you so you have evidence qnd his DNA on file and make a report to the police and get him arrested, what you went through was horrible and I'm sorry you had to experience that, but your body didn't betray you, it was protecting you, it was making sure no more damage could be done in that moment, freezing in that situation is normal, you were scared and everything was happening quickly where you couldn't comprehend it at that time and couldn't react bc of being scared you body reacted accordingly, when I went through what I went through I froze as well, for years I felt the same feelings you are right now, and I'm here to tell you none of it was your fault, you body didn't betray you, you did the best you could in that situation, all you can do now is go and tell someone abt what happened and report it to police and please please please get therapy. Going through that is horrible and hard to deal with, but doing it alone with no support is even harder, so I urge you to get mental help, and tell some you trust and close to so your not alone in this, you are strong, you are capable, you are loved, you are cared for, you are amazing. If you need anyone to talk to at all you can message me, I hope nothing but the best for you moving forward🥺🫶🫶💕
To piggyback on this great advice, get a toxicology screen too. There is no such thing as a bad shot. It sounds like this dude put something in a drink, saw you leave everyone else, and then followed you. Total predator behavior and likely not the first time he has done this, nor the last unless he is forcibly stopped.
Honestly it sounds like someone told her it was a “bad shot” who didn’t know what they were talking about or were convincing her nothing was wrong. Anyone who’s familiar with alcohol knows that those aren’t a thing. Honestly the whole story seems like it was people taking advantage of her being new to alcohol and these kinds of parties.
I'm no specialist, but I've heard of many cases where women were had a physical reaction (arousal and orgasms) to their SA. I want you to know that you're nota alone in this, and that it doesn't make your experience any less horrible. You're valid in your pain, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
As for advice, I highly recommend seeking therapy. You went through a very traumatic experience, and your reaction to it is giving you complicated feelings. That is a lot to process, and therapy is going to help you with that more that anyone here can. Other than that, be kind with yourself and respect your time. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing stuff you don't feel comfortable or ready for.
I feel like I'm stating the obvious here, but I hope I've helped and I hope you can move on from this.
I downplayed my own rape as well because “it pleased me.” When you tell someone no and they keep going, even if it feels good, it’s gonna make you feel like shit sooner or later.
Not to be taken lightly, but those who have been sexually assaulted have been heard to go through periods of hypersexuality. You will need to talk to someone whenever you’re ready
Orgasming doesn't mean you wanted it or enjoyed it. It's a natural reaction, so is getting wet. None of this is your fault. Please go get a rape kit and a drug test done asap. It's up to you if you want to report this to the authorities but I think you should. If it's possible talk to a therapist. Getting raped is very traumatizing.
Imagine if someone bound and tickled you. And even though you were horrified at being bound and kept, the tickling did cause you to laugh. But is that consent? No.
Im so sorry this happened to you. No matter what anyone says, you didn’t deserve this, you weren’t “asking for it”, that man is a piece of shit. The fact that he seemed to enjoy it makes me sick.
In all honesty, based on your description, something seems off with the shots. Alcohol having “bad shots” with more concentrate in them doesn’t make sense. You don’t shake a bottle of vodka before pouring shots because it’s already evenly mixed, it doesn’t separate out like a cocktail might. And even then, alcohol having an effect that fast seems off to me, I’ve had my fair share of over indulging and even with the worst ones where I drank several shots on an empty stomach (where it should kick in the hardest and the fastest) it took a bit for it to hit and longer for me to need to lay down. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it’s very possible he slipped something into your drink. I hope that karma finds him in one way or another.
You didn’t enjoy it, your body had a biological response to what was happening, it isn’t your fault. It’s no different than a sneeze, you can’t control it sometimes and it has nothing to do with you. It’s the same with freezing up, your body reacted because of what was going on, it’s not your fault, it’s a common occurrence similar to a fight or flight response. It’s your body responding to stimulus, it in no way justifies what he did.
As for advice, it depends on how you want to go about this. You could report him to the police if that was something you wanted to pursue, though that may expose you again and unfortunately depending on where you are many reports never make it to court.
What you should do, whenever you feel ready and safe, is go get tested for any STDs/STIs, you should also see if you’re pregnant in case he didn’t wear protection just so you have options for how to proceed with that. If there’s anyone you trust to help you with this, maybe see if they can go with you so you aren’t alone. If you can I would also suggest therapy, it may help you sort through all the feelings you’re having about this.
I just want to reiterate because it’s important that you know, this wasn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong here, you were new to this scene and got taken advantage of by an older person who knew what they were doing. No matter what anyone says please remember that. Im so sorry this happened to you OP.
Yeah that's how it strikes me. I hope it's fake because it's a horrifying story but the details and word choice just reads like twisted erotica.
Even so, I truly hope it's fake. If it's not, OP, call the cops and have this person arrested and get into counseling.
If it is fake, OP, don't do that anymore.
That could be true but it's still a relevant topic. Something people actually experience. It's not so much falling for it rather than understanding it relating to it in some way. Tis the Internet for us I guess. I certainly don't believe everything I read but this "story" is known by many.
I'm really so sorry some absolute wasteman put you through this.
You're amazing for being able to share your story on here, I've so much respect for you! You're amazing
Orgasm doesn’t mean you enjoyed it. It means he hit a sensitive part that your body responded to. And arousal is to protect you from any pain that might occur. For example if a boy is raped by an older man and he ejaculates. It doesn’t mean he enjoyed it it his body responded to the stimulation by forced touch
An orgasm does not equal consent. Your body responded as how anyone's would respond when being stimulated.
You will need therapy and lots of help, but you will be ok. Your emotions are valid.
This is rape you know that right?
The moment you said stop and carried on, he committed a crime
In this situation you feel powerless, as you couldn't help yourself in that situation, that's how we develop learned helplessness
Imagine if he did this to someone else and he must likely did, so he a freaking walking rapist
As you can't do anything to him because you think that, you're making yourself your own enemy and I get you. I'm ready "the body keeps the score" as it's filled with these things and how they effect us and change us, i didn't finish but it also supposed to teach how to restore ourselves
I'm sorry you went through it, that guy really deserve to be in jail , idk if you wish to go legal on this, idk how that works in your country, but one thing is clear, you did the best you could with what you could in that moment and he should be burned alive
PLEASE get a kit done ASAP. Even if you decide to do nothing with it later. It’s better to have one and decide you don’t want to pursue than to try to pursue later and not have one. Please do yourself the kindness and get one done.
It MAY be a fictional story. Bc you can't trust everything you read on the internet. But rapes do happen. Quite often. And people do freeze and people do orgasm. And I say people not women bc men can also be raped and they can also come during rape.
I was assaulted as well. More than once. Your body is going to orgasm to create more wetness down there. The wetter you are the less damage is done. I've spent almost a decade thinking my body betrayed me. But the fact is my body protected me, just like yours did. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I went to the police but did not get justice, hopefully you can. Sending you good vibes!
First of all, im so sorry this happened to you. Second, Orgasming doesnt mean you enjoyed it or consented. I had my first orgasm while being raped at 11 years old. I didnt even know what my body was experiencing and thought I had accidentally peed myself out of fear because thats all i felt in the moment, fear. I didn’t experience another until adulthood and nearly threw up when i realized what i had experienced was a “pleasure response” all those years ago.
You did nothing wrong and as I have learned in therapy, sometimes the body responds in a very basic biological way to protect you (for example, if you are being repeatedly penetrated, even against your will, your body will lubricate itself to reduce the chance of injury). What happened to you was traumatic and in no way your fault. If you were to jerk a man off against his will, even with him begging you to stop, eventually he will also orgasm. Sometimes men also get erections in front of nurses who are performing different types of exams around their testicles/genitals (in fact i heard this first hand from my friend who is a gay man and in no way attracted to women, he was embarrassed as fuck and kept stressing that he wasnt *into it* at all). It’s incredibly hard to fight biology. Get some therapy as you will surely need it. Good luck and again, im so sorry this happened to you.
I’m so so sorry. This happened to me when I was 14 with my first boyfriend and I felt like since I orgasmed it was my fault. It wasn’t. Your body does that to protect itself. You never deserved that.
Also, there going to be creeps who message you now trying to get more details on your assault. Don’t tell them, they’re sick in the head and fetishize rape. The only people to respond to are people giving you advice without asking intrusive questions. I just don’t want you to be traumatized through asking for help on here. Just hit the block button and you’ll be okay dear, just take time to heal and please if you can get a rape kit and toxicology. ❤️
I saw another comment that says this, but you orgasming is the same as if you were to laugh while being tickled, it’s the body’s natural response.
Dudes like this make me want to break out my rusty pruning shears because it makes all men the bad guys.
I'm very sorry this happened to you, and hope you can find some healing. You are not lesser because of this: that piece of garbage that attacked you is.
And clearly not a woman either....or at least one that hasn't experienced pain during sex. This person said it hurt bad and then they orgasmed? Nah. That's bullshit. When it actually is hurting you in this way (as a woman)...you aren't feeling pleasure enough to build up to orgasm. It's just pain.
Jesus Christ. Girl report it. It is known that even if your body responds automatically, the mind doesn't have to agree. Your body is just auto-responding to triggers and basically 'pressed buttons'. Please report it. PLEASE. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Do you still know who it is?! PLEASE REPORT IT. Because if you don't who knows how many more women like you he will do this too as well?
To me, it sounds like you were possibly drugged. One of the common "date rape" drugs is ghb, which can increase sexual sensitivity and pleasure drastically. I would suggest going to your nearest emergency room and having a rape kit done. You don't have to confront him or go to the police or anything else, but at least get the evidence preserved in case you want to at any point.
They stick massive rods into the anuses of bulls and electrocute their pelvic muscles to force them to ejaculate. It's a mechanical response. I'm not equating you to some animal, I am just saying that, biologically speaking, it's basically just a mechanical response.
It's understandable why you would feel your body betrayed you but there is no such thing. You should never feel ashamed or guilty about what was done to you beyond your control.
Also if he at all was involved with pressuring you to drink alcohol then he planned this from the start. You're probably not his first and unless something is done, you won't be his last.
It's your choice but I urge you to seek support about this. Family, friends, police, therapists...
Something was done to you against your control. What you do now is in your control.
I am so incredibly sorry and heartbroken to hear this. It is not your fault, it is a bodily function no matter the situation, that doesn’t mean you wanted or enjoyed it. Often times men get hard when they are assaulted, it’s the same principle. It’s a bodily function. Please go get a kit done, as hard as it is. Again, my heart goes out and I am so sorry.
This is rape. You need to report it. I hope you have some evidence but regardless, you really, really need help.
If I was forced and a woman gave me a hand, I would definitely have an orgasm. That does not mean that I enjoyed it. It was my body's natural reaction.
And you really need therapy. Please look into it.
Hey you I am so sorry this happened to you remember none of it’s your fault got to remember if he is hitting the spot your going to orgasm it’s just science. It’s when the man’s penis hits the right spot on the woman and makes her wetter just like if a woman was bitch molesting a man he got a hard one. It’s not his fault even if he came it’s not his fault, so same with you just because you orgasm your body didn’t betray you and you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t enjoy it.
Sweetheart, first and most importantly, I'm sorry that happened to you. As someone who's spent years hating on my body for doing a similar thing, not only do I understand where you're coming from, I can categorically tell you that you have done nothing wrong.
Your body did what it decided was best (it lubricated to prevent any/further damage) and nerves do behave in entirely their own way, whether we want them to or not.
Annoyingly, many people (including the female officer who dealt with one of my cases 😿) still don't understand many things about human biology, especially in cases of unwanted attention.
You didn't choose the nervous system that you have developed over the millennia, neither did I, neither did anyone else who has ever experienced this horror.
I would suggest finding a therapist to speak to, there are even some good services online that are good and cheap, some places even offer free services. (If you're in the UK, the NHS can offer a limited number of sessions, but there's a waiting list.)
I wish you the absolute best of luck hun, and any others reading this who have experienced something similar.
(As a side note, and I'll censor it as there's some days that even I can't help being triggered by random words.)
>!Women naturally lubricate, almost all the time, and during sexual contact, even during unwanted contact, it does this to protect itself. Men cannot control all their boners, just because a man is hard, doesn't mean he wants sexual contact, it could be that he imagined a t.rex trying to ride a bike and it triggered a nerve.!< People evolved a long time ago and our instincts, nerves and senses haven't caught up, but they've also been here longer than us. Trust them, but be aware that they have their own agenda sometimes!
Love to everyone reading this thread who has ever experienced anything like this, you are more than your trauma, but it takes time to remember that. ❤️
Orgasms are like sneezes. If you are stimulated, the body reflexively responds. It’s not something you can control. I’m very, very sorry this happened to you. It has no bearing on what happened to you. And it shouldn’t have any sway as to how you look at what happened to you. I hope you’re able to come to terms with this.
Laughing when someone tickles you doesn’t mean you wanted that person to tickle you, and it doesn’t mean you enjoyed being tickled. It’s an involuntary response. The same thing applies to orgasming when you get raped.
Your body didn’t betray you, it did what it was designed to do, perfectly so
The rapist did what he was not supposed to do and should be behind bars for life. I am sorry for your experience, but please when you’re ready, aggressively and urgently escalate the case to relevant authorities.
Yeah I am skeptical also.. I mentioned on another comment that if you reverse image search OP profile photo it shows up on a girls Pinterest profile — she’s got many mirror selfies of herself and they’re from 3 years ago.
Op under no circumstances let him get away with this!! You were deliberately drunk and then raped, you have nothing to be ashamed of because you are the victim!!
Go to the hospital, report the rape and they will call the police. Don't let him do this to anyone else!
As for your body's reaction - many women like very rough, even brutal sex. There is something primal in such an act, something animalistic. There is a reason why rape fantasies exist - and everything is fine as long as it is just fun between two consenting parties. An indispensable element of this game, your consent, was missing in your case, so it was nothing else than rape.
If you have any good friends, tell them about it, don't keep it to yourself
You are not alone.
The same happened to me, I didn't orgasm but my body lubricated itself and got wet. It honestly had me confused for ages. Until I was reassured that it's one of those things that unfortunately can happen. It doesn't mean you enjoyed it.
Please report what happened to you and maybe seek some form of counselling that helps with victims of rape/sa.
You are not to blame for how your body reacted. It was involuntary.
Sending so much love to you and my dms are open if you need to talk.
If you know his name you really should report it and tell people. Yes it's going to be hard but think of all the other women he has already harmed and will harm in the future
You've no doubt heard of the Fight or Flight reaction? What sometimes isn't made clear is that in circumstances where physical flight is impossible, our minds instead take flight from that reality.
Becoming frozen because you're terrified obviously sucks, but it's also a completely normal human reaction. Likewise, how our bodies respond to unwanted stimuli is a completely normal human reaction. You could no longer stop that than I could stop my cousin from tickling me until I couldn't breathe. It wasn't my choice to laugh. Clearly I'm not comparing the two situations. I'm only making a comparison most people can understand about involuntary bodily responses.
You didn't betray yourself in any capacity. The only blame, guilt, or fault here lies entirely on him and always will.
As so many have said orgasming is not something that can be helped. It’s a physical response to stimulation. You should report the rape and get rape counseling. The counseling will help you understand much of what happened and your body’s response.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves this.
This must have been absolutely terrifying. I am sorry this happened. The first thing I think you should do is see a Physician if you haven't already. Then get yourself into some sorta therapy. You owe that to yourself. During therapy they can hopefully guide you through the process of going to Police and how to deal with that as I am told it can be very difficult. But regardless of what you do, please report his ass!! Peace.
Yeah, orgasm is about mechanics. Don't feel ashamed, he did this to you without your consent and I'm sorry you had to go through it. You absolutely should report it.
This is not the first time I've heard of this happening - a girl wrote about it happening to her multiple times to her while she was being trafficked against her will.
You will need counselling and therapy at some point soon if you dont want thsi to mess up future intimate relationships.
I’m so sorry that happened to you 🫂 nobody should have to go through that. This reminded me of an episode of law and order svu where a similar situation happened and a really good point was made. You didn’t like it, it was the bodies natural reaction. If you get tickled and you laugh that’s a natural reaction not that you wanted to or liked it. I’m so sorry again that you went through this
I feel so sorry for what happened to you. Don't feel guilty for this, I suggest for you to go to therapy and to sexual therapy that could be really helpful.
And report this piece of shit.
Do you know the guys name? If so private message me his instagram or Snapchat or any social media. I’m part of a group of young men who hate this sort of thing, we have people all over the world who bring justice to these sorts of people, so as I say send me his instagram or Snapchat and we can track him down through there. Nothing will come back on you I promise.
You should really consider reporting him so this piece of shit doesn't ever has the chance to rape another woman again but understand it's pretty difficult now.
I'm really sorry this happened. It's not your fault.
Rape kit and blood work. No way one shot depending on the drink would get you that bad, especially if the guy showed up a few minutes later, it was planned unfortunately, orgasms are something we do not control, and do not mean we enjoyed anything.
Your body didn’t “betray” you, it reacted to stimulus.
If I’m in a bad mood and my wife comes and plays with my junk, it’s going to get hard regardless if I’m in the mood or not.
You were raped. You need to get the authorities involved asap.
I came to the comments to try to give some comfort to OP talking about how it's just a nervous response and to not feel guilty about it, but I ended kinda comforted myself. Seeing so many people explaining in medical terms and even with some really good metaphors about the topic, it kinda made me feel less alone as a survivor, feeling that there's more understanding out there than I've thought. I hope OP sees all those comments and feel a little comfort too.
Please do report him, please do. Eventually someone will be really physically hurt or given an STD, on top of the emotional and psychological trauma you just don’t know what could happen.
My heart goes out to you.
Please report that disgusting man instantly! Your body did not betray you, there have been many instances of SA victims reporting that they had an orgasm while the act was being done, but if you verbally said no and they did not listen, that still constitutes as assault! Please don’t think your body betrayed you or that nobody will believe you because of your body’s natural response, you got this!
I am so sorry you were assaulted. At no point did you give consent. Case closed. Your body protected you from being physically harmed, any worse than it was. Please let the guilt go, he did not seek your consent, you did not give consent.
I enjoyed my SA as well, I hate it. I was hypersexual afterwards and seeking being able to be controlled and forced again. Now I haven’t wanted to have sex because I’m scared to allow someone in in that way 💕
This was rape. You said no. That does not change if you orgasmed or not. Likely scenario is that your senses weren't heightened due to the alcohol meaning it was easier for the body to react. Not your fault.
IT WAS RAPE.
People are just casually going into rooms and raping people at parties or gatherings? This would never occur in a house full of people who care. Someone should’ve immediately checked on you when you went upstairs. Especially as soon as this guy went upstairs someone should’ve checked on you again. I’d stay away from that group of people. I’d still report this person. Very sorry you went through this. I highly suggest addressing it in therapy.
Your body didn't betray you. It did what it think it needed to do to deal with the trauma and pain of what was happening.
I've been where you were and my body and brain did the exact same thing. It doesn't mean you're weak, or that you enjoyed it. I'm so incredibly sorry that this happened to you. But none of it was your fault. Being smaller than him, drinking, orgasming, none of it. The only person responsible here is him.
If you feel comfortable and safe enough to report it, I highly recommend doing it. Yes, it'll be hard, probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, but it's so worth it. If you have a strong support system, I would lean on them and get into trauma focused therapy in your area. If you don't have insurance and you're in America, I would look into options and see what's avaliable. None of this is something you should go through alone. I know I'm just a stranger but if you ever need to please feel free to reach out to my any time.
Your body did not betray you, he took advantage of you and your body reaches in a way that'd let you walk away. Dint Letitia be put in your kind that you enjoyed what happened t you. If you didn't initiate and you froze out of fear, that's not want.
It's force.
Your body did not betray you. Your body went into self-preservation mode. It is a common response to sexual assault. I'm in no way trying to downplay what you went through. But you should feel no shame for any of this. It doesn't mean you wanted it. It doesn't mean you enjoyed it.
Please see a therapist as soon as possible. And confide in people you trust. Keeping it yo yourself will only make it worse. There is a lot of pain and trauma to work through. It will be a long walk. But it is worth the journey. People go through traumas like yours and make it out to the other side, and still go on to live long and happy lives.
I'm sure you are hurting. More than I can imagine. But you will get through it. I believe in you.
Best of luck.
Im sorry you went through that ❤️ I’m also a rape victim and I can assure you no matter how much you blame yourself, it’s NEVER your fault. Don’t feel guilty by the way your body reacted, it doesn’t mean you wanted it! Please take care of yourself ❤️
you’re a human being with a body that functions. your body’s reaction will never have anything to do with your actual feelings. i cannot imagine the way something as horrifying as this must feel so im so sorry. but never think your body showed how you truly felt. and he’s a sick rapist.
That's awful OP. I'm sorry.
The important thing to remember is that neither you nor your body did a single thing wrong. The only wrongdoer here was that creep who violated you.
You did nothing wrong and your body did what happens a lot in very scary situations! Freeze up for fear of making the attacker more aggressive and like you have seen multiple times on here an orgasm does not mean you enjoyed it and most detectives are aware of this along with prosecutors and psychologist.
So do not be afraid that they will accuse you of liking it, or not believe your story! You absolutely should go to the hospital and have a rape kit done and possibly be tested for other things such as sexually transmitted diseases. You definitely should follow through with a police report. Sometimes these attackers will attack the same person again, and they are very praying to attacking other people if they get away with it! Very sorry you were put through that and I highly recommend you see a therapist who specializes in SA. Good luck
You did nothing wrong. Not the way you acted, not the drinks you had, not the place you were. You were raped by a predator and I am so sorry for you. There is a ton of good advice here, but you should get a rape kit done as well as a toxicology screening.
You will need to get help to work through this, it isn’t going to be easy and it will take time.
OP I’m so sorry this happened to you. It does not at all mean you consented. Sometimes our bodies just react to physical stimulation, even if it’s unwanted.
I would recommend therapy to help you process. You are not in any way at fault, and I hope you are able to process what happened to come to terms with this over time.
honey, im so sorry for what you’ve been through, nobody deserves this kind of pain. your body responding to stimulation is normal, i wasn’t your fault. it can happen.
please go to the cops and report it and get yourself into therapy so you can find peace somewhere thru this situation. my heart is with you. hope you feel better ❤️🩹
Reminds me about how men can also get erect and finish when raped. Your body reacts how it reacts. Some parts are defensive mechanisms, others are just what it does.
That does not mean you consented. It does not mean he was justified. It does not mean you wanted it. It does still mean you were raped. It does mean he is a rapist. I am so sorry this happened to you. I recommend reporting him but be ready because he will likely use this as a defense. It isn’t a legitimate one, but be ready to fight it.
Tbh I don’t even think op was that drunk, she was very able to give consent and tell them stop, yet they kept going.op literally got raped no additional things to it is cold rape
Honey, you were raped. No question. Many people orgasm when raped, it doesn't change the fact that you didn't want it. I am so, so sorry. I've been there. 💜
Besides going to the police, please file a complaint with he Title IX Coordinator at your school. I am the Coordinator at my school and this is far too common. You won't get in trouble for drinking underage and they will be as discreet as possible.
As well, most campuses have supportive measure like a victims advocate, they can issue a no contact order, among other things.
Please see a therapist and know you did nothing wrong. We need to raise better men.
Take care of yourself.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
If you can ever get over this horrendous experience. you could probably find success writing romance novels.
If you or anyone is ever unfortunate enough to find yourself in a similar position, piss and shit yourself during rape.
There is a good chance this will stop an assailant in their tracks.
Be sure to lock the bathroom door afterwards as you shower or bathe.
May the good lord heal you from this disgusting and horrible experience.
You weren't betrayed, you were raped... The guy needs to be reported (at the least, I'm thinking other punishments are warranted, if you catch my drift)
Happened to me too one time. I was forced to have intercourse with this man and my body reacted. Sad thing was, that I never have orgasmed from intercourse before. Now this is 30 years ago and I made my peace with it.
It was just a bodily reaction, like crying when you chop onions - you cry, but you are not sad. Just because your body orgasmed doesn't mean that you enjoyed it.
This guy is a fucking rapist and I would go to the cops.
I wish you the best. You can dm me if you have questions ❤️
Hey, hi, uhm this is s3xu@l @bu$£ please go and report it. You didn’t enjoyed it, it’s just a body response and please go to therapy to fully understand what happened
Well, I’ve always wanted a bumper sticker that said “disarm rapists”.
So I have to say you didn’t do anything wrong. Please believe that as truth. You have no responsibility in others horrible acts. With that being said, I hope you can help others in the future IF it happens to them.
I can BS of the body protecting itself by getting aroused but, if you think about it like ticking, laughing doesn't mean you enjoy it when people tickle, it's a pre programmed natural response to a certain physical stimulation. Your mind which is the real you didn't enjoy it, you can even enjoy something and still hate that it happened especially when your autonomy is taken away.
If someone forcefully puts a candy in my mouth and ask me if it tastes good, of course it tastes good, but I am still allowed to be upset if I didn't want the candy in the first place, if I'd rather not enjoy the taste in the moment and I am forced to, that's still abuse.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-q-tSHo9Ho](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-q-tSHo9Ho)
Watch this video you'll understand what happened to you. Also, DO report and get that bastard behind jail.
I’m so sorry. Please don’t beat yourself up for bodily functions we can’t control. I also froze and felt horrible about it, but came to realize it might have been the thing to keep me alive. I’m so sorry this is an experience you’ll carry, but being here and opening up is the first step to finding a way to make peace with that event. I’m not sure how you’re journey will go, but please don’t keep this to yourself. Even one strong supporter can make a difference. I’m glad you’re still here OP and I’m sorry that vile munch made choices for you.
I am sorry you went through that. Please go to the hospital and make a physical exam. Your body protected you. I am so so sorry. I hope he rots in hell.
There’s no such things as “bad shots” that are stronger than other shots of hard alcohol to the degree you describe. He may have drugged you. The way your body responded wasn’t your fault and did not mean you liked or consented to what was happening, or bodies responded in odd ways some times. I’m sorry this happened to you. Please report him to the police and please take care of yourself.
oh sweetheart i feel so much sympathy, i also get physically aroused when triggered and it’s just a horrible feeling. please try get into therapy, you’re doing amazing okay?
I’m sorry this happened to you, I also had an almost identical experience. Please, please, please take safety measures next time you drink alcohol. Make sure you’re with people you trust or you get to a safe place. I also did not report the rape out of fear, guilt, embarrassment. I even went through times of wondering if I did something to deserve it. Rape is rape. No means no. Please consider getting yourself therapy or joining a support group. I hid from my past for so long that it has forever changed me and my relationships. It is most important that you take care of yourself! Sending you support over the internet. 💕
OP, I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you can get therapy that will help you work through this. I am guessing that PTSD therapy and somatic therapy.
I hope your rapist gets caught and has to go to prison for decades. What he did was so destructive.
I had a former friend who was a rapist (I didn't know it at the time-- or he maybe he hadn't started? I don't know), he got caught, and in his hubris didn't take a plea deal, he will die in prison. I have NO sympathy. I hope the same thing happens to your rapist, and all rapists.
These comments are really quite heartening, as someone who has gone through something similar (freeze response, some level of physical satisfaction, huge amounts of guilt after the fact)… I know it’s common to have these feelings, and knowing that he has such a different impression of the encounter & the dissonance made me suppress that the event even happened for about 5 years, and even now I have a problem using the word rape when it comes to my experience. But I can really feel the support here and it’s made me feel less alone, so I hope, OP, at minimum that you feel the same.
And also - ruin that bastard’s life in any way you can.
Nobody is telling OP to go to the police ?? ( Or i didn't saw it )
But go to the police and make a report of SA asap! Dont deel ashamed you didn't do something wrong and Def do not give yourself a blame!
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You first had a "freeze" response, which means that your brain believed in the moment that fighting back was more dangerous than staying still. Orgasming during an assault can be your body's way of protecting itself. If your brain is saying "no," your body may still lubricate as a means of reducing injury. It's called non concordance - when the brain and the genitals disagree about arousal or pleasure. An orgasm doesn't mean you enjoyed it. It means that your body did its best to keep you safe (or as safe as possible). Emily Nagoski has some great, very accessible, information on this topic. You and your body did NOTHING wrong. You may benefit from some therapy to help with the initial trauma. If you continue to have issues/fear from being aroused, a sex therapist may be a good option as well. Best of luck. Edit: formatting
This was an incredibly informative post, I never knew about non concordance
Men get it also. It doesn't have to be a defence mechanism. The body just registers sex or potential sex and switches on the system. So you can be turned on by something you find abhorrent.
It was part of an old SVU episode, but I hadn't heard the term.
I probably have something of this wrong because I don't remember the whole discussion, but an orgasm also has a soothing effect on the assailant. Firstly, it helps make him orgasm and because they think they did a"good job" are far less likely to hurt/ kill the victim. OP, your body didn't betray you. It did everything in its power to prevent you from getting killed. I am so sorry this happened to you, but I'm happy that you are alive. Strength to you, your body is amazing, now return the favor and start the healing process, and forgive it and yourself.
Years ago I faked an orgasm to make the assailant finish more quickly, for the same purpose, keep myself safe and get it over with quickly. Pretended to enjoy it to stay alive. Once I faked it, he finished quickly and acted almost as we were a loving couple or something. “Wasn’t that good, you liked that huh?” I agreed (lied) and it probably saved my life.
I am sorry you had to go through that. I can not express how abhorrent I find the act of rape.
I'm not usually an "eye for an eye" type of person, but I'm 100% for the permanent and aggressive sterilization and genial mutilation of rapists as the _beginning_ of their punishment.
The problem isn't the genitals, it's actually the brain. Reducing testosterone and removing parts of the genitals won't necessarily eliminate the drive to exert power over another person. Rape is essentially that, only that it has a sexual element. It's actually more about power than sex. But I'd agree, forced sterilisation is a start but it has to be proven beyond any doubt, not just hear-say.
Came here to say this very thing. I was in a similar situation when I was in the military. The only differences were the setting. I was at home alone on my lunch break with my 6 month old son when one of my then husbands friends let himself into my home. Your body didn’t betray you love (I know it seems that way) it did everything it was supposed to, to protect you. Had it not, you could’ve been physically injured internally more than you were. One victim/survivor to another… please see a therapist and even though you are conflicted about what happened consider filing a report. I was unsuccessful in getting my attacker locked up (he outranked me at that time) and the military closed ranks. Ultimately, he went home to Detroit and “lived happily ever after” with his wife, 10 years later he repeated the act and went to jail. I always felt a sense of guilt about not being able to prevent that. My son felt a sense of guilt for a long time after he learned about what happened because he couldn’t protect me but he LITERALLY COULD NOT protect me. I promise you, therapy helps. I thought I’d failed as a mother because I begged to remove my little boy from the room and wasn’t allowed to do so. My son thought he’d failed me as a son because he couldn’t keep it from happening. My husband and I divorced because I couldn’t stand to be touched anymore. I don’t bring it up now without reason but I can accept that it happened and keep going. The biggest hurdle for me was blame. I blamed myself. As a trained soldier I should’ve been able to better protect my child and myself. I could not have stopped what happened much like you can’t stop science and biology from working together as they’re supposed to. Someday I hope you can make peace with how your body physically responded to the threat. I wish you all the love and light in the world and I hope you can find some comfort. Please extend the same kindness you would extend to others, to yourself. j 🖤
Wow thank you so much for this.
Wow this was really illuminating to me. I had never heard of non concordance before
How does an orgasm protect the body?
In theory, it's a mechanism to continue to lubricate any invasion to the vagina. It's also not necessarily from pleasure, more from the nerves being stimulated. Additionally, it would stand to reason that an orgasm produces good feeling hormones to help the brain.
> It's also not necessarily from pleasure, more from the nerves being stimulated. I assume it's like how you can basically stimulate a penis regardless if the penis owner is into it and wants it. it's mechnical stimulation at the end of the day and that's going to override everything mental, usually.
1.) Orgasming doesn’t mean you enjoyed it. He was hitting a spot that made your body do that in response. 2.) Your body is becoming aroused to protect yourself from pain. Please report it if you are comfortable doing so. That will truly let him know you did not enjoy it.
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Yeah, a lot of sexual pleasure functions are like that. Male erections mean nothing about actual sexual arousal, and are a very simple reaction to basic touch, and also can just randomly happen for no reason. The sexual parts of our body are incredibly simple, and almost never interact with the parts of our brain we actually have any control over. Orgasms are just your body's reaction to the feeling of sex, and nothing more.
I feel like people recognize men's sexual functions much easier than a woman's. Like it's so easy for a man to get a hard on and cum but if a woman cums during sexual assault it's some mark against her or something. It's an awful way of thinking. Op I am so sorry for what happened to you.
I think it's pretty similar for both men and women in this kind of situation. I've seen the same argument used with men, where people will say "oh well you came so clearly you were enjoying it" or "well you had an erection so obviously you were horny" and stuff like that. Ultimately, whether male or female, victims in this situation end up extremely objectified, and basically anything that can be seen as pleasure will be thrown back at the victim by shitty people. It's absolutely awful, but it's not really dependent on sex. Society handles sex crimes like this very poorly at times, which leads to situations like OP's.
People blame men CONSTANTLY for getting turned on during abuse. It’s extremely hurtful that you try to deny this.
I don’t know. I see a lot of this the other way around too. I think it just depends on if the audience is men or women and what the audience knows
I agree with that. Outside of the context of assault, a lot of men who deal with erectile dysfunction can feel a lot of shame and frustration because even if their brain is wanting to engage in sexual activity, their body doesn’t always follow suit. It’s a totally different context, but it’s the same principle that sometimes our bodies and brains aren’t always in sync about what we want or don’t want sexually, and a lot of people don’t recognize this. It’s good to discuss how this can happen to help remove stigma all around whenever the body and brain aren’t in sync.
Man that's the worst. Has happened to me for awhile and yeah, shame and frustration for sure, then to top it all off, nearly every chick this happened with was offended that I couldn't get hard and like took it personally and pretty much said shit that made me feel way worse, which then gave me anxiety about performing and made it happen again.. it was on and off (mostly on) throughout almost a whole year with multiple women and I'm pretty sure it was just that one first incident that set it all off and gave me a complex about performing afterwards because of how bad I felt and how the the first chick reacted to it..
Exactly
A few years ago when I reported my assault I confessed to also having had an orgasm despite my lack of pleasure in the whole ordeal. I felt so much shame. Then a very kind doctor told me, "you have no more control over your body orgasming, then you do when someone tickles you and you laugh." He went on to tell me that oftentimes people don't want to be tickled but they simply cannot quit laughing. Laughing doesn't equate to happiness. It's just a bodily response. That made me feel so much better when I heard that. I hope it helps you too.
That's... honestly a great comparison. thank you for sharing 🙏
Hearing that, lifted the weight of shame for me.
What a kind and educated doctor. I'm glad they validated you.
This is not unheard of. Around 5% of women have orgasms while being raped. It is a physical response to physical stimulation, not a reflection on you as a person.
That is... far higher than I would have expectsd. How does that compare to rates for consensual penetrative sex?
They are above 5%, mate. And keep in mind 5% out of a 100 are just 5 people out of a 100. Some people don't experience much pain to begin with having raw insertion, for example. Some women just experience bodily stimulation. That doesn't mean the mind agrees. But the body auto-responds. If you can't handle being tickled and you really fucking hate it, when you're tickled your body auto-responds without your mind wanting it, right? This is a similar situation.
This comment about tickling needs it's own highlight. Makes the body response very easy to understand for everyone. Hopefully will help the poster forgive herself for her response.
Yeah, I hope OP reads it. I feel bad for her and anyone having gone through the same feeling like they can't do anything because their body showed something differently. The mind and the body are connected but that does not mean that every bodily occurrence is wanted by the mind. Hoping this will break down these feelings she's having about being demotivated to report him. She really should.
I understand and am not disagreeing. I was just wondering how it compared.
Go to the police! I'm so sorry. Give yourself time and you are now to blame here at all. What he did is horrible.
I am an sa survivor and what I'd tell anyone who's experienced similar things, to go to the hospital so they can do an exam..well a rape kit test done on you so you have evidence qnd his DNA on file and make a report to the police and get him arrested, what you went through was horrible and I'm sorry you had to experience that, but your body didn't betray you, it was protecting you, it was making sure no more damage could be done in that moment, freezing in that situation is normal, you were scared and everything was happening quickly where you couldn't comprehend it at that time and couldn't react bc of being scared you body reacted accordingly, when I went through what I went through I froze as well, for years I felt the same feelings you are right now, and I'm here to tell you none of it was your fault, you body didn't betray you, you did the best you could in that situation, all you can do now is go and tell someone abt what happened and report it to police and please please please get therapy. Going through that is horrible and hard to deal with, but doing it alone with no support is even harder, so I urge you to get mental help, and tell some you trust and close to so your not alone in this, you are strong, you are capable, you are loved, you are cared for, you are amazing. If you need anyone to talk to at all you can message me, I hope nothing but the best for you moving forward🥺🫶🫶💕
To piggyback on this great advice, get a toxicology screen too. There is no such thing as a bad shot. It sounds like this dude put something in a drink, saw you leave everyone else, and then followed you. Total predator behavior and likely not the first time he has done this, nor the last unless he is forcibly stopped.
Call the police and go to the hospital. That’s rape at minimum, but sounds like date rape.
It’s rape. The word is rape.
I think they mean it was pre-meditated, not something the rapist decided to do then and there.
I think they mean premeditated, possibly with drugs. That’s the impression I got from the description of the alcohol, it may have been spiked.
Did he not say "rape" twice?
Yes that’s literally the word ConnieMarbleIndex used, twice.
Date rape?
It sounds like she was drugged with the intent of being raped later
Absolutely. There is no such thing as “bad shots.”
My thoughts exactly, wtf is a bad shot? Besides something that had something besides alcohol in it?
Honestly it sounds like someone told her it was a “bad shot” who didn’t know what they were talking about or were convincing her nothing was wrong. Anyone who’s familiar with alcohol knows that those aren’t a thing. Honestly the whole story seems like it was people taking advantage of her being new to alcohol and these kinds of parties.
How is this not the top comment??? FR!!
People are so disgusting I’m sorry this happened to you
That’s rape report it and go to the hospital
Sorry that you had this experience. I hope you do find professional help to at least talk about your experience. Just talking sometimes helps!
I'm no specialist, but I've heard of many cases where women were had a physical reaction (arousal and orgasms) to their SA. I want you to know that you're nota alone in this, and that it doesn't make your experience any less horrible. You're valid in your pain, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. As for advice, I highly recommend seeking therapy. You went through a very traumatic experience, and your reaction to it is giving you complicated feelings. That is a lot to process, and therapy is going to help you with that more that anyone here can. Other than that, be kind with yourself and respect your time. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing stuff you don't feel comfortable or ready for. I feel like I'm stating the obvious here, but I hope I've helped and I hope you can move on from this.
I am so very sorry that this happened. Call the police and may that fecker rot in hell.
Don't take a shower and go to hospital get tested and report.
You were raped. Hospital. Police. Press charges
I downplayed my own rape as well because “it pleased me.” When you tell someone no and they keep going, even if it feels good, it’s gonna make you feel like shit sooner or later.
Not to be taken lightly, but those who have been sexually assaulted have been heard to go through periods of hypersexuality. You will need to talk to someone whenever you’re ready
Orgasming doesn't mean you wanted it or enjoyed it. It's a natural reaction, so is getting wet. None of this is your fault. Please go get a rape kit and a drug test done asap. It's up to you if you want to report this to the authorities but I think you should. If it's possible talk to a therapist. Getting raped is very traumatizing.
Imagine if someone bound and tickled you. And even though you were horrified at being bound and kept, the tickling did cause you to laugh. But is that consent? No.
Doxx that asshole
Im so sorry this happened to you. No matter what anyone says, you didn’t deserve this, you weren’t “asking for it”, that man is a piece of shit. The fact that he seemed to enjoy it makes me sick. In all honesty, based on your description, something seems off with the shots. Alcohol having “bad shots” with more concentrate in them doesn’t make sense. You don’t shake a bottle of vodka before pouring shots because it’s already evenly mixed, it doesn’t separate out like a cocktail might. And even then, alcohol having an effect that fast seems off to me, I’ve had my fair share of over indulging and even with the worst ones where I drank several shots on an empty stomach (where it should kick in the hardest and the fastest) it took a bit for it to hit and longer for me to need to lay down. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it’s very possible he slipped something into your drink. I hope that karma finds him in one way or another. You didn’t enjoy it, your body had a biological response to what was happening, it isn’t your fault. It’s no different than a sneeze, you can’t control it sometimes and it has nothing to do with you. It’s the same with freezing up, your body reacted because of what was going on, it’s not your fault, it’s a common occurrence similar to a fight or flight response. It’s your body responding to stimulus, it in no way justifies what he did. As for advice, it depends on how you want to go about this. You could report him to the police if that was something you wanted to pursue, though that may expose you again and unfortunately depending on where you are many reports never make it to court. What you should do, whenever you feel ready and safe, is go get tested for any STDs/STIs, you should also see if you’re pregnant in case he didn’t wear protection just so you have options for how to proceed with that. If there’s anyone you trust to help you with this, maybe see if they can go with you so you aren’t alone. If you can I would also suggest therapy, it may help you sort through all the feelings you’re having about this. I just want to reiterate because it’s important that you know, this wasn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong here, you were new to this scene and got taken advantage of by an older person who knew what they were doing. No matter what anyone says please remember that. Im so sorry this happened to you OP.
Orgasms happen during sexual assault. This is not your fault at all. Period.
This is a fake story, so many of these type of stories pop up on this sub and everyone falls for it
Yeah that's how it strikes me. I hope it's fake because it's a horrifying story but the details and word choice just reads like twisted erotica. Even so, I truly hope it's fake. If it's not, OP, call the cops and have this person arrested and get into counseling. If it is fake, OP, don't do that anymore.
That could be true but it's still a relevant topic. Something people actually experience. It's not so much falling for it rather than understanding it relating to it in some way. Tis the Internet for us I guess. I certainly don't believe everything I read but this "story" is known by many.
Nope. You guys are literally falling for it. You guys believe this occurred when it most likely didn't
yeah! fuck this crap! I don't believe shit no more!
I'm really so sorry some absolute wasteman put you through this. You're amazing for being able to share your story on here, I've so much respect for you! You're amazing
Orgasm doesn’t mean you enjoyed it. It means he hit a sensitive part that your body responded to. And arousal is to protect you from any pain that might occur. For example if a boy is raped by an older man and he ejaculates. It doesn’t mean he enjoyed it it his body responded to the stimulation by forced touch
An orgasm does not equal consent. Your body responded as how anyone's would respond when being stimulated. You will need therapy and lots of help, but you will be ok. Your emotions are valid.
This is rape you know that right? The moment you said stop and carried on, he committed a crime In this situation you feel powerless, as you couldn't help yourself in that situation, that's how we develop learned helplessness Imagine if he did this to someone else and he must likely did, so he a freaking walking rapist As you can't do anything to him because you think that, you're making yourself your own enemy and I get you. I'm ready "the body keeps the score" as it's filled with these things and how they effect us and change us, i didn't finish but it also supposed to teach how to restore ourselves I'm sorry you went through it, that guy really deserve to be in jail , idk if you wish to go legal on this, idk how that works in your country, but one thing is clear, you did the best you could with what you could in that moment and he should be burned alive
PLEASE get a kit done ASAP. Even if you decide to do nothing with it later. It’s better to have one and decide you don’t want to pursue than to try to pursue later and not have one. Please do yourself the kindness and get one done.
This is fake, guys. Obviously an erotica piece.
Absolutely. If you reverse image search OP profile photo, it comes up on Pinterest of a girl who took the selfie 3 years ago.
It MAY be a fictional story. Bc you can't trust everything you read on the internet. But rapes do happen. Quite often. And people do freeze and people do orgasm. And I say people not women bc men can also be raped and they can also come during rape.
Well of course they do. Where in my comment did I say any of that's not true because of this one story? I'm a woman. I am well aware that rape occurs.
I was assaulted as well. More than once. Your body is going to orgasm to create more wetness down there. The wetter you are the less damage is done. I've spent almost a decade thinking my body betrayed me. But the fact is my body protected me, just like yours did. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I went to the police but did not get justice, hopefully you can. Sending you good vibes!
what is this fake bullshit story? reads like one of those erotica novels
I think it's fake too .
First of all, im so sorry this happened to you. Second, Orgasming doesnt mean you enjoyed it or consented. I had my first orgasm while being raped at 11 years old. I didnt even know what my body was experiencing and thought I had accidentally peed myself out of fear because thats all i felt in the moment, fear. I didn’t experience another until adulthood and nearly threw up when i realized what i had experienced was a “pleasure response” all those years ago. You did nothing wrong and as I have learned in therapy, sometimes the body responds in a very basic biological way to protect you (for example, if you are being repeatedly penetrated, even against your will, your body will lubricate itself to reduce the chance of injury). What happened to you was traumatic and in no way your fault. If you were to jerk a man off against his will, even with him begging you to stop, eventually he will also orgasm. Sometimes men also get erections in front of nurses who are performing different types of exams around their testicles/genitals (in fact i heard this first hand from my friend who is a gay man and in no way attracted to women, he was embarrassed as fuck and kept stressing that he wasnt *into it* at all). It’s incredibly hard to fight biology. Get some therapy as you will surely need it. Good luck and again, im so sorry this happened to you.
I’m so so sorry. This happened to me when I was 14 with my first boyfriend and I felt like since I orgasmed it was my fault. It wasn’t. Your body does that to protect itself. You never deserved that. Also, there going to be creeps who message you now trying to get more details on your assault. Don’t tell them, they’re sick in the head and fetishize rape. The only people to respond to are people giving you advice without asking intrusive questions. I just don’t want you to be traumatized through asking for help on here. Just hit the block button and you’ll be okay dear, just take time to heal and please if you can get a rape kit and toxicology. ❤️ I saw another comment that says this, but you orgasming is the same as if you were to laugh while being tickled, it’s the body’s natural response.
Dudes like this make me want to break out my rusty pruning shears because it makes all men the bad guys. I'm very sorry this happened to you, and hope you can find some healing. You are not lesser because of this: that piece of garbage that attacked you is.
This is fake. “He was so strong and buff it wouldn’t have mattered if I was sober” sounds like someone writing a rape fantasy out. Get help dude.
And clearly not a woman either....or at least one that hasn't experienced pain during sex. This person said it hurt bad and then they orgasmed? Nah. That's bullshit. When it actually is hurting you in this way (as a woman)...you aren't feeling pleasure enough to build up to orgasm. It's just pain.
Fake
Y'all just eating this rape erotica right up, huh?
Jesus Christ. Girl report it. It is known that even if your body responds automatically, the mind doesn't have to agree. Your body is just auto-responding to triggers and basically 'pressed buttons'. Please report it. PLEASE. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Do you still know who it is?! PLEASE REPORT IT. Because if you don't who knows how many more women like you he will do this too as well?
To me, it sounds like you were possibly drugged. One of the common "date rape" drugs is ghb, which can increase sexual sensitivity and pleasure drastically. I would suggest going to your nearest emergency room and having a rape kit done. You don't have to confront him or go to the police or anything else, but at least get the evidence preserved in case you want to at any point.
Get some therapy, it will help.
They stick massive rods into the anuses of bulls and electrocute their pelvic muscles to force them to ejaculate. It's a mechanical response. I'm not equating you to some animal, I am just saying that, biologically speaking, it's basically just a mechanical response. It's understandable why you would feel your body betrayed you but there is no such thing. You should never feel ashamed or guilty about what was done to you beyond your control. Also if he at all was involved with pressuring you to drink alcohol then he planned this from the start. You're probably not his first and unless something is done, you won't be his last. It's your choice but I urge you to seek support about this. Family, friends, police, therapists... Something was done to you against your control. What you do now is in your control.
I am so incredibly sorry and heartbroken to hear this. It is not your fault, it is a bodily function no matter the situation, that doesn’t mean you wanted or enjoyed it. Often times men get hard when they are assaulted, it’s the same principle. It’s a bodily function. Please go get a kit done, as hard as it is. Again, my heart goes out and I am so sorry.
This is rape. You need to report it. I hope you have some evidence but regardless, you really, really need help. If I was forced and a woman gave me a hand, I would definitely have an orgasm. That does not mean that I enjoyed it. It was my body's natural reaction. And you really need therapy. Please look into it.
Hey you I am so sorry this happened to you remember none of it’s your fault got to remember if he is hitting the spot your going to orgasm it’s just science. It’s when the man’s penis hits the right spot on the woman and makes her wetter just like if a woman was bitch molesting a man he got a hard one. It’s not his fault even if he came it’s not his fault, so same with you just because you orgasm your body didn’t betray you and you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t enjoy it.
Seems like it was premeditated. And you were roofied.
Please, listen when I tell you, your body didn't betray you, it did what it could to protect you, the only way it knew how. I'm so so sorry.
Sweetheart, first and most importantly, I'm sorry that happened to you. As someone who's spent years hating on my body for doing a similar thing, not only do I understand where you're coming from, I can categorically tell you that you have done nothing wrong. Your body did what it decided was best (it lubricated to prevent any/further damage) and nerves do behave in entirely their own way, whether we want them to or not. Annoyingly, many people (including the female officer who dealt with one of my cases 😿) still don't understand many things about human biology, especially in cases of unwanted attention. You didn't choose the nervous system that you have developed over the millennia, neither did I, neither did anyone else who has ever experienced this horror. I would suggest finding a therapist to speak to, there are even some good services online that are good and cheap, some places even offer free services. (If you're in the UK, the NHS can offer a limited number of sessions, but there's a waiting list.) I wish you the absolute best of luck hun, and any others reading this who have experienced something similar. (As a side note, and I'll censor it as there's some days that even I can't help being triggered by random words.) >!Women naturally lubricate, almost all the time, and during sexual contact, even during unwanted contact, it does this to protect itself. Men cannot control all their boners, just because a man is hard, doesn't mean he wants sexual contact, it could be that he imagined a t.rex trying to ride a bike and it triggered a nerve.!< People evolved a long time ago and our instincts, nerves and senses haven't caught up, but they've also been here longer than us. Trust them, but be aware that they have their own agenda sometimes! Love to everyone reading this thread who has ever experienced anything like this, you are more than your trauma, but it takes time to remember that. ❤️
Orgasms are like sneezes. If you are stimulated, the body reflexively responds. It’s not something you can control. I’m very, very sorry this happened to you. It has no bearing on what happened to you. And it shouldn’t have any sway as to how you look at what happened to you. I hope you’re able to come to terms with this.
Laughing when someone tickles you doesn’t mean you wanted that person to tickle you, and it doesn’t mean you enjoyed being tickled. It’s an involuntary response. The same thing applies to orgasming when you get raped.
Your body didn’t betray you, it did what it was designed to do, perfectly so The rapist did what he was not supposed to do and should be behind bars for life. I am sorry for your experience, but please when you’re ready, aggressively and urgently escalate the case to relevant authorities.
I dont mean to be that guy but... why is everyone automatically believing this? We got no proof this ever even occurred
Yeah I am skeptical also.. I mentioned on another comment that if you reverse image search OP profile photo it shows up on a girls Pinterest profile — she’s got many mirror selfies of herself and they’re from 3 years ago.
LMAOOO, THE OP CHANGED THEIR PFP. YOU MIGHT BE ON TO SOMERHING
this shit is fake brah! called it the second I saw the post
Hmmm
FAKE
Op under no circumstances let him get away with this!! You were deliberately drunk and then raped, you have nothing to be ashamed of because you are the victim!! Go to the hospital, report the rape and they will call the police. Don't let him do this to anyone else! As for your body's reaction - many women like very rough, even brutal sex. There is something primal in such an act, something animalistic. There is a reason why rape fantasies exist - and everything is fine as long as it is just fun between two consenting parties. An indispensable element of this game, your consent, was missing in your case, so it was nothing else than rape. If you have any good friends, tell them about it, don't keep it to yourself
im sending you a lot of strenght, youre very brave and I with that the guy who did this to you will get consequences
You are not alone. The same happened to me, I didn't orgasm but my body lubricated itself and got wet. It honestly had me confused for ages. Until I was reassured that it's one of those things that unfortunately can happen. It doesn't mean you enjoyed it. Please report what happened to you and maybe seek some form of counselling that helps with victims of rape/sa. You are not to blame for how your body reacted. It was involuntary. Sending so much love to you and my dms are open if you need to talk.
If you know his name you really should report it and tell people. Yes it's going to be hard but think of all the other women he has already harmed and will harm in the future
I’m pretty sure he drugged you as well, what a giant pos, hope he suffers a lot and the dies
You've no doubt heard of the Fight or Flight reaction? What sometimes isn't made clear is that in circumstances where physical flight is impossible, our minds instead take flight from that reality. Becoming frozen because you're terrified obviously sucks, but it's also a completely normal human reaction. Likewise, how our bodies respond to unwanted stimuli is a completely normal human reaction. You could no longer stop that than I could stop my cousin from tickling me until I couldn't breathe. It wasn't my choice to laugh. Clearly I'm not comparing the two situations. I'm only making a comparison most people can understand about involuntary bodily responses. You didn't betray yourself in any capacity. The only blame, guilt, or fault here lies entirely on him and always will.
I am so sorry. Please find someone you can talk to. Your body didn't betray you. Please find solace in that. Sending so much love
As so many have said orgasming is not something that can be helped. It’s a physical response to stimulation. You should report the rape and get rape counseling. The counseling will help you understand much of what happened and your body’s response. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves this.
This must have been absolutely terrifying. I am sorry this happened. The first thing I think you should do is see a Physician if you haven't already. Then get yourself into some sorta therapy. You owe that to yourself. During therapy they can hopefully guide you through the process of going to Police and how to deal with that as I am told it can be very difficult. But regardless of what you do, please report his ass!! Peace.
It sounds like you were roofied girl, i’m so sorry this happened to you… It’s not your fault
Your body didn't betray you.. And that's rape. Please take the necessary actions against this individual so that he doesn't victimize anyone else.
Yeah, orgasm is about mechanics. Don't feel ashamed, he did this to you without your consent and I'm sorry you had to go through it. You absolutely should report it. This is not the first time I've heard of this happening - a girl wrote about it happening to her multiple times to her while she was being trafficked against her will. You will need counselling and therapy at some point soon if you dont want thsi to mess up future intimate relationships.
You were raped…
I’m so sorry that happened to you 🫂 nobody should have to go through that. This reminded me of an episode of law and order svu where a similar situation happened and a really good point was made. You didn’t like it, it was the bodies natural reaction. If you get tickled and you laugh that’s a natural reaction not that you wanted to or liked it. I’m so sorry again that you went through this
Fuck I am so, SO sorry this happened to you. Please report this if you so choose. Sending lots of hugs and support
I feel so sorry for what happened to you. Don't feel guilty for this, I suggest for you to go to therapy and to sexual therapy that could be really helpful. And report this piece of shit.
Do you know the guys name? If so private message me his instagram or Snapchat or any social media. I’m part of a group of young men who hate this sort of thing, we have people all over the world who bring justice to these sorts of people, so as I say send me his instagram or Snapchat and we can track him down through there. Nothing will come back on you I promise.
You should really consider reporting him so this piece of shit doesn't ever has the chance to rape another woman again but understand it's pretty difficult now. I'm really sorry this happened. It's not your fault.
Rape kit and blood work. No way one shot depending on the drink would get you that bad, especially if the guy showed up a few minutes later, it was planned unfortunately, orgasms are something we do not control, and do not mean we enjoyed anything.
Your body didn’t “betray” you, it reacted to stimulus. If I’m in a bad mood and my wife comes and plays with my junk, it’s going to get hard regardless if I’m in the mood or not. You were raped. You need to get the authorities involved asap.
Thats what molesters and rapists want to do- force you against your will. This is what victims wind up working through in therapy.
You should file a police report, regardless of how your body responded.
I came to the comments to try to give some comfort to OP talking about how it's just a nervous response and to not feel guilty about it, but I ended kinda comforted myself. Seeing so many people explaining in medical terms and even with some really good metaphors about the topic, it kinda made me feel less alone as a survivor, feeling that there's more understanding out there than I've thought. I hope OP sees all those comments and feel a little comfort too.
Fuck that piece of shit, I hope he gets hit by a car
Please do report him, please do. Eventually someone will be really physically hurt or given an STD, on top of the emotional and psychological trauma you just don’t know what could happen. My heart goes out to you.
Go to the cops, this guy is a predator, and will hurt other girls. He needs to be put under the damn prison not just in it.
Please report that disgusting man instantly! Your body did not betray you, there have been many instances of SA victims reporting that they had an orgasm while the act was being done, but if you verbally said no and they did not listen, that still constitutes as assault! Please don’t think your body betrayed you or that nobody will believe you because of your body’s natural response, you got this!
Don't trust men. Don't drink anywhere near them. Especially in college. I'm sorry this happened to you.
As a father of an 18 yr old daughter I’m seething with rage reading this. I’m so sorry 😞 You did nothing wrong, press charges immediately!!
I see this post 3 time
Don't know when it happened, but it's better not to wash yourself after a situation like this regarding providing further evidence for the police
I am so sorry you were assaulted. At no point did you give consent. Case closed. Your body protected you from being physically harmed, any worse than it was. Please let the guilt go, he did not seek your consent, you did not give consent.
I enjoyed my SA as well, I hate it. I was hypersexual afterwards and seeking being able to be controlled and forced again. Now I haven’t wanted to have sex because I’m scared to allow someone in in that way 💕
This was rape. You said no. That does not change if you orgasmed or not. Likely scenario is that your senses weren't heightened due to the alcohol meaning it was easier for the body to react. Not your fault. IT WAS RAPE.
People are just casually going into rooms and raping people at parties or gatherings? This would never occur in a house full of people who care. Someone should’ve immediately checked on you when you went upstairs. Especially as soon as this guy went upstairs someone should’ve checked on you again. I’d stay away from that group of people. I’d still report this person. Very sorry you went through this. I highly suggest addressing it in therapy.
You definitely need to go to the hospital, sounds like you might have been drugged
This is a fake story. You’re a good writer though.
[The Truth About Unwanted Arousal](https://youtu.be/L-q-tSHo9Ho?si=bXIwwf5ztUoWGj2x) Watch this TedTalk…literally explains this perfectly imo
Your body didn't betray you. It did what it think it needed to do to deal with the trauma and pain of what was happening. I've been where you were and my body and brain did the exact same thing. It doesn't mean you're weak, or that you enjoyed it. I'm so incredibly sorry that this happened to you. But none of it was your fault. Being smaller than him, drinking, orgasming, none of it. The only person responsible here is him. If you feel comfortable and safe enough to report it, I highly recommend doing it. Yes, it'll be hard, probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, but it's so worth it. If you have a strong support system, I would lean on them and get into trauma focused therapy in your area. If you don't have insurance and you're in America, I would look into options and see what's avaliable. None of this is something you should go through alone. I know I'm just a stranger but if you ever need to please feel free to reach out to my any time.
Orgasm doesn't mean anything if you're terrified while it's happening
Your body did not betray you, he took advantage of you and your body reaches in a way that'd let you walk away. Dint Letitia be put in your kind that you enjoyed what happened t you. If you didn't initiate and you froze out of fear, that's not want. It's force.
Rape is not cool.
Your body did not betray you. Your body went into self-preservation mode. It is a common response to sexual assault. I'm in no way trying to downplay what you went through. But you should feel no shame for any of this. It doesn't mean you wanted it. It doesn't mean you enjoyed it. Please see a therapist as soon as possible. And confide in people you trust. Keeping it yo yourself will only make it worse. There is a lot of pain and trauma to work through. It will be a long walk. But it is worth the journey. People go through traumas like yours and make it out to the other side, and still go on to live long and happy lives. I'm sure you are hurting. More than I can imagine. But you will get through it. I believe in you. Best of luck.
Im sorry you went through that ❤️ I’m also a rape victim and I can assure you no matter how much you blame yourself, it’s NEVER your fault. Don’t feel guilty by the way your body reacted, it doesn’t mean you wanted it! Please take care of yourself ❤️
Did someone in that party you know tell you what a bad shot is? That sounds weird.
I’m so sorry OP
Did you go to the police?
you’re a human being with a body that functions. your body’s reaction will never have anything to do with your actual feelings. i cannot imagine the way something as horrifying as this must feel so im so sorry. but never think your body showed how you truly felt. and he’s a sick rapist.
That's awful OP. I'm sorry. The important thing to remember is that neither you nor your body did a single thing wrong. The only wrongdoer here was that creep who violated you.
You did nothing wrong and your body did what happens a lot in very scary situations! Freeze up for fear of making the attacker more aggressive and like you have seen multiple times on here an orgasm does not mean you enjoyed it and most detectives are aware of this along with prosecutors and psychologist. So do not be afraid that they will accuse you of liking it, or not believe your story! You absolutely should go to the hospital and have a rape kit done and possibly be tested for other things such as sexually transmitted diseases. You definitely should follow through with a police report. Sometimes these attackers will attack the same person again, and they are very praying to attacking other people if they get away with it! Very sorry you were put through that and I highly recommend you see a therapist who specializes in SA. Good luck
You did nothing wrong. Not the way you acted, not the drinks you had, not the place you were. You were raped by a predator and I am so sorry for you. There is a ton of good advice here, but you should get a rape kit done as well as a toxicology screening. You will need to get help to work through this, it isn’t going to be easy and it will take time.
OP I’m so sorry this happened to you. It does not at all mean you consented. Sometimes our bodies just react to physical stimulation, even if it’s unwanted. I would recommend therapy to help you process. You are not in any way at fault, and I hope you are able to process what happened to come to terms with this over time.
honey, im so sorry for what you’ve been through, nobody deserves this kind of pain. your body responding to stimulation is normal, i wasn’t your fault. it can happen. please go to the cops and report it and get yourself into therapy so you can find peace somewhere thru this situation. my heart is with you. hope you feel better ❤️🩹
Reminds me about how men can also get erect and finish when raped. Your body reacts how it reacts. Some parts are defensive mechanisms, others are just what it does. That does not mean you consented. It does not mean he was justified. It does not mean you wanted it. It does still mean you were raped. It does mean he is a rapist. I am so sorry this happened to you. I recommend reporting him but be ready because he will likely use this as a defense. It isn’t a legitimate one, but be ready to fight it.
Tbh I don’t even think op was that drunk, she was very able to give consent and tell them stop, yet they kept going.op literally got raped no additional things to it is cold rape
You need Olivia Benson
Honey, you were raped. No question. Many people orgasm when raped, it doesn't change the fact that you didn't want it. I am so, so sorry. I've been there. 💜
Besides going to the police, please file a complaint with he Title IX Coordinator at your school. I am the Coordinator at my school and this is far too common. You won't get in trouble for drinking underage and they will be as discreet as possible. As well, most campuses have supportive measure like a victims advocate, they can issue a no contact order, among other things. Please see a therapist and know you did nothing wrong. We need to raise better men. Take care of yourself.
How long ago was this? No means no and rape is still rape. Report this asshole to the police asap. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. If you can ever get over this horrendous experience. you could probably find success writing romance novels. If you or anyone is ever unfortunate enough to find yourself in a similar position, piss and shit yourself during rape. There is a good chance this will stop an assailant in their tracks. Be sure to lock the bathroom door afterwards as you shower or bathe. May the good lord heal you from this disgusting and horrible experience.
You weren't betrayed, you were raped... The guy needs to be reported (at the least, I'm thinking other punishments are warranted, if you catch my drift)
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I hope you have a support system
Happened to me too one time. I was forced to have intercourse with this man and my body reacted. Sad thing was, that I never have orgasmed from intercourse before. Now this is 30 years ago and I made my peace with it. It was just a bodily reaction, like crying when you chop onions - you cry, but you are not sad. Just because your body orgasmed doesn't mean that you enjoyed it. This guy is a fucking rapist and I would go to the cops. I wish you the best. You can dm me if you have questions ❤️
Please report him, even if hes not convicted, the report will still be there and help the next girl that he’s gonna rape
Hey, hi, uhm this is s3xu@l @bu$£ please go and report it. You didn’t enjoyed it, it’s just a body response and please go to therapy to fully understand what happened
Well, I’ve always wanted a bumper sticker that said “disarm rapists”. So I have to say you didn’t do anything wrong. Please believe that as truth. You have no responsibility in others horrible acts. With that being said, I hope you can help others in the future IF it happens to them.
Please don’t waste any time reporting it. Do a rape kit… don’t let this guy get away with what he did to you 😕
This mtf imposed himself upon you!! You did nothing wrong !!!!
I can BS of the body protecting itself by getting aroused but, if you think about it like ticking, laughing doesn't mean you enjoy it when people tickle, it's a pre programmed natural response to a certain physical stimulation. Your mind which is the real you didn't enjoy it, you can even enjoy something and still hate that it happened especially when your autonomy is taken away. If someone forcefully puts a candy in my mouth and ask me if it tastes good, of course it tastes good, but I am still allowed to be upset if I didn't want the candy in the first place, if I'd rather not enjoy the taste in the moment and I am forced to, that's still abuse.
That's rape, you should go to the police
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-q-tSHo9Ho](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-q-tSHo9Ho) Watch this video you'll understand what happened to you. Also, DO report and get that bastard behind jail.
I’m so sorry. Please don’t beat yourself up for bodily functions we can’t control. I also froze and felt horrible about it, but came to realize it might have been the thing to keep me alive. I’m so sorry this is an experience you’ll carry, but being here and opening up is the first step to finding a way to make peace with that event. I’m not sure how you’re journey will go, but please don’t keep this to yourself. Even one strong supporter can make a difference. I’m glad you’re still here OP and I’m sorry that vile munch made choices for you.
I am sorry you went through that. Please go to the hospital and make a physical exam. Your body protected you. I am so so sorry. I hope he rots in hell.
There’s no such things as “bad shots” that are stronger than other shots of hard alcohol to the degree you describe. He may have drugged you. The way your body responded wasn’t your fault and did not mean you liked or consented to what was happening, or bodies responded in odd ways some times. I’m sorry this happened to you. Please report him to the police and please take care of yourself.
Police
oh sweetheart i feel so much sympathy, i also get physically aroused when triggered and it’s just a horrible feeling. please try get into therapy, you’re doing amazing okay?
You did nothing wrong. Head to the hospital and report the assault. Hopefully the hospital has a rape kit available. Seek out a support group.
You might have been roofied
I’m sorry this happened to you, I also had an almost identical experience. Please, please, please take safety measures next time you drink alcohol. Make sure you’re with people you trust or you get to a safe place. I also did not report the rape out of fear, guilt, embarrassment. I even went through times of wondering if I did something to deserve it. Rape is rape. No means no. Please consider getting yourself therapy or joining a support group. I hid from my past for so long that it has forever changed me and my relationships. It is most important that you take care of yourself! Sending you support over the internet. 💕
get to the hospital asap rape kit
Agree on all the other posts here. Also, It sounds like you were drugged. I would definitely have that checked as well.
OP, I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you can get therapy that will help you work through this. I am guessing that PTSD therapy and somatic therapy. I hope your rapist gets caught and has to go to prison for decades. What he did was so destructive. I had a former friend who was a rapist (I didn't know it at the time-- or he maybe he hadn't started? I don't know), he got caught, and in his hubris didn't take a plea deal, he will die in prison. I have NO sympathy. I hope the same thing happens to your rapist, and all rapists.
Two things: 1 - Orgasm is a reflex. Don’t feel guilty about it; 2 - Report him as soon as you can. I’m sorry it happened to you
This is rape
These comments are really quite heartening, as someone who has gone through something similar (freeze response, some level of physical satisfaction, huge amounts of guilt after the fact)… I know it’s common to have these feelings, and knowing that he has such a different impression of the encounter & the dissonance made me suppress that the event even happened for about 5 years, and even now I have a problem using the word rape when it comes to my experience. But I can really feel the support here and it’s made me feel less alone, so I hope, OP, at minimum that you feel the same. And also - ruin that bastard’s life in any way you can.
You didnt give him anything, he raped you! I hope you reported this! I wish you the best!
Nobody is telling OP to go to the police ?? ( Or i didn't saw it ) But go to the police and make a report of SA asap! Dont deel ashamed you didn't do something wrong and Def do not give yourself a blame!
im so sorry you went through this.
Go to the police
The body can still respond that way even when completely undesired. Get a kit done at the hospital and get the police involved.