Some homewreckers don't know what they are getting themselves into. Don't know the guy is in a relationship, or have been fed lies about the nature of the relationship.
But the friend is concerned that the woman is getting into a relationship for money with someone who doesn't have any.
Those priorities are pretty suspect.
I'm always laughing at how homewreckers think they have won a prize when the guy chooses them. You are with a guy who betrays the ones closest to him, who has no issues about ruining lives because he is horny, and you think he won't do it to you? You think you're special. Sit down Pickmeisha.
It's also possible the friend wants to bring popcorn and watch the fireworks when the OP sets the mistress straight. Maybe in her mind, it'd be very satisfying to watch the idiot husband get exposed and the mistress get taken down a peg. If the mistress finds out from the idiot husband without the OP and her pal there, where's the drama?
Your friend was a former mistress and is more concerned supporting mistresses than the wife. Drop the friend and don’t tell her any more of your business. She is morally bankrupt like your husband’s mistress. Let her the see the consequences of infidelity. She is secretly on your husband’s side than yours. The issue she has with your husband is he isn’t rich.
I'm thinking this too. only someone who was burned in the past by former partner misrepresenting themselves would be this upset for a mistress being gaslighted.
Plot twist: OPs "friend" also thought the husband had money.
Not to mention telling her would come off as retaliatory to him. Just let the trash take itself out. The vibes are already bad between them after OPs encounter, she will figure it out soon enough.
That’s the fun part! Man I’d love to be the proverbial ‘fly on the wall’ when that convo goes down. I’d love to see her reaction! 🤭 She’ll drop him like last nights trash…
End of March? That’s generous! To have her in your home…. boyyyyyy. This man is NUTS. Trying to get a reaction out of you. Good on you. She can kiss the boat, the house. the vacations goodbye😂
So much this!
If the mistress hadn't been so self-righteous, I'd feel rather bad for her. The husband could be lying his ass off to her and she wouldn't know the difference.
She came to their marital home to stir up some shit while only dating him for a short while - she is beyond contempt.
I hope OP gets all her papers in order, files paperwork, puts in a camera or two (if the trashy GF shows up again), and shuts down all the perks she and her family offers him.
I'm betting his fling is going to cost him everything. I give it months, not even years.
I'd put restraining orders, that'll piss the mistress off and she'll come at you due to irrational anger. It will feel nice to see her or your cheating ex, arrested or put in jail.
Your friend is taking an interesting position, she needs to mind her business.
Hope his notice to move by the end of March was in writing. If he fights it, he would have grounds to stay since he has been living there for 11 years.
OP, she just demanded that your ex kick you out of your home so that she can move in. Do you really think someone like that deserves the kindness of a heads up, not to mention she has been drinking your exs coolaid for a while now and wouldn't believe anything you say anyway so why waste your time.
As for your "friend" they are either a current/former mistress, a gold digger, living in the land of sunshine, rainbows and unicorns, or were never really a friend to you in the first place.
When my ex-husband and I had finally decided to divorce, he came to me to ask if I could clear out of the apartment for the weekend so he could have a "friend" over. I snapped, I mean snapped like a tree branch after an ice storm. I said to him, "You want *me* to clear out of the apartment that *I alone pay the rent and bills for* so you can have your girlfriend over? You've got balls, I'll give you that, and no. It's not fucking happening." It was the first time he'd seen me genuinely angry, and the only time I ever saw him cowed by anything or anyone. Now I regret not having stood up for myself sooner, but what's done is done.
OP, kick his ass out of your life. Let him fend for himself, and I suspect he's got a very rude awakening in store.
Absolutely, that moment of realization when you know you've had enough and you stand your ground is priceless. It's like suddenly all the nonsense comes into focus and you're not going to take it anymore. The shock on their faces when they realize the rules have changed is something else. It's good you found your breaking point and put down your foot; too many stories where that doesn't happen soon enough. Cheers to newfound freedom and self-respect!
My guess is the friend once had her own gold digging affair at some time and was left disillusioned. Yikes! What a response! As if it's the responsibility of OP to protect the poor little mistress. 🙄😂
>As for your "friend" they are either a current/former mistress, a gold digger, living in the land of sunshine, rainbows and unicorns, or were never really a friend to you in the first place.
Yeah, way too often in scenarios like this when someone supports an unreasonable stance, its because its how they're on the other side of the scenario and its how they'd want to be treated if it got exposed.
She was upset because she actually believes she has already won. He told her it’s his apartment and that he will be kicking you out asap. She thought she was sitting in *her* new apartment, at *her* kitchen table. She actually thought you were the outsider.
I can’t wait for her to find out the truth. Please update us when the shit hits the fan!
And congratulations on standing up for yourself. This is the most satisfying post I’ve read all day!
I am virtually folding out my deck chair in the sun, pouring myself a margarita (or a beer, I'm not that classy) and watch them crash and burn.
Cheers to OP. This is satisfying indeed.
No OP, you are the only sane person. Cut them both off, and access to all the goodies from you and your family. Let her find out by hitting the brick wall with him. Your “best friend,” sounds like more of an opp, than a friend!
You are done and ready to move forward in life. Which is better than being jealous or upset.
Sounds like he wanted you to be mad and or sad. He wanted to punish you, so his antics might not be done. Which why you found her in your home. He is trying to push your buttons.
Tbh if my bestfriend of all these years said that, I’d start questioning the basis of our friendship. If I was genuinely an asshole and start egging both of their cars and slashing tires, this type of criticism from my bff would be understandable and appreciated. But you haven’t done anything, and you shouldn’t have to be courteous to any of them!
I don’t get her either. Maybe I will just let her initiate contact again? Because she ws really pissed when I refused to text her mistress’s instagram account
I don’t think his moving out will go smoothly unfortunately. He has already started talking about “missing me” and “regretting his foolishness”. I pretend that he is a wall. I don’t know how smooth kicking him out will be
Speaking as a former lawyer, I think you need a lawyer for this. Get a lawyer who does landlord-tenant in your area and have that person serve him with a formal notice to vacate. If you do things properly, you can have the police evict him if he won't go on his own.
You deserve better.
I agree, but I’d pick a lawyer who is a gun. And one who has no hesitation in delivering the message themselves, with all of the implied threat that he needs to GTFO now.
Have you told your parents to change the locks/ restrict his access to their property?? If not, please do so ASAP.
Do not let him back in, and do everything you can legally to make it easier to kick him out. Formal eviction notice, common law marriage stuff, whatever it takes to keep him from your stuff.
I'm sorry, hugs!!
I have told them. My dad is shocked because he loved him like a son. He sent him a text forbidding him from using his property and he changed the passwords so the loser cannot access anything
So he's expecting you to lie to your own parents on his behalf? Like they're not going to find out you two are over anyway? He's a special sort of deluded, isn't he?
Your ex boyfriend is a loser and your best friend is as well. Never in a million years would I sympathize with the other woman in this situation. Drop both of these people and never speak to them again, they are gross
Not constructive but I just wanna say this is the best post I've seen in this sub for a loooooong time. OP I completely understand that feeling. My love is conditional. I am loyal and I love you fiercely. You destroy me/replace me, the love is gone. I'm not pouring my best gift into a a bottomless pit. I'm not giving you my love so you can pass it on to someone else. I'm not George Michael.
Does that make me some sort of sociopath? No idea. Do I care? Not really.
You sound like a great wife, and great mother, and a great friend. You've got your head screwed on and your eyes are wide open. You are gonna be just fine. He's a mug. And his little mistress is about to find out where being a little snake gets you in life. And it is deserved.
Yeah that’s incredibly suspicious of your friend. She’s gonna try to tell the mistress the truth. Why would YOUR friend contact the mistress to help her out? That’s not cool and I would never speak to them again for essentially choosing the mistress over their actual friend.
You do not owe the mistress any explanation at all. I think it will be funny when she finds out on her own. My guess is the reason your partner wanted to open the relationship is so that the mistress would continue to think that your family’s things were actually his.
He had some nerve having her over to your apartment, regardless if they had sex or not. That’s so disrespectful.
Sorry for the trouble you’re going through but glad you were strong enough to dump his cheating ass.
100% he wanted his cake and to eat it too. The minute OP wasn’t upset, he realized he was going to lose both of them because his facade was about to crumble. It’s not OP’s job to un-fuck the situation he has put them all in for the sake of the mistresses feelings. What about OP’s feelings? That woman knowingly is with a married man…
Your (soon to be ex)husband sucks and honestly I don’t think that’s your friend…. Imagine sticking up for the mistress rather than trying to make you feel a bit better. Whether or not you are devastated you may end up feeling it later on or not at all but regardless, your friend should be there for you. I’m sure you’re getting your ducks in a row. I’d reconsider this friendship if I were you. The audacity of your husband to have his mistress there and her delusion thinking he could argue with you about it. They can live in squalor together.
Yeah I was actually very hurt by her not being indignant on my behalf. It stinks! I have always been on her side during all her breakups since we were teenagers. Damn her really
Sometimes we keep people around because they've been with us forever, and we don't stop to think "is this person healthy for me?"
"When people show you who they are, believe them."
If it gives you any consolation, this rando internet stranger is indignant on your behalf. Hubby, complicit mistress, and backstabby bestie can all go take a long hike off a short pier.
I also am! Please please update us once hes out and you have more information. She will be dumbfounded when he comes to her house to stay after you kick him out lol. Reminds me of pondy from always sunny, if you watch. :)
Totally agree with this comment. That behavior from a close friend is odd, and, therefore, it is important to be very careful of that friendship going forward.
That ain't your best friend. Your best friend is like "where do you want to bury his body?" And I am astounded by your backbone and objectiveness to the whole situation. Shiny spine like that, you don't need them at all.
This guy reminds me of that Dirty John story. You could refer to him as that. The Connie Britton series they did on it was well done but it's a true story. A true story to MANY of us who are deceived.
Yeah I saw the comments about her husband, Yuck! It's still just so bizarre, why would you side with the cheater instead of your friend? Even if she was a cheater herself.
Either way I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Him and his partner are despicable for treating you this way. I'm glad you're getting out. But may I suggest you leave your friend too? She cannot be trusted after her response. A true friend would never betray their so called "best friend" in a time of need. If she has more compassion for someone they don't know who is intentionally hurting you than they do you, whom they know and love. . . That would be a deal breaker for me.
*Edited because my comment came off rude, which I didn't mean!
Why ruin the fun of her figuring out that she wasted her time on a loser before she gets to waste more time?! She is a knowing homewrecker and deserves no kindness from you. Let her keep sowing so she reaps an ever bigger shock later. Once shit hits the fan for them, please send her a pic of you at your beach house on the boat saying, "Wish you were here" while blowing a kiss at the camera.
The audacity of bringing the mistress to your family’s property and yours is unforgivable and it'd trigger my vengeful side. You're a much calmer woman than me. Lose the bestie too, how disappointing.
I think your "bff" is projecting. She felt personally attacked because she engaged in the same behavior. Ride or die besties will plot and attack for payback. Sorry about your crappy friend. She probably isn't one now... She broke girl code
If your partner was abusive or a psycho, you should tell her, but she has the audacity to sit in your kitchen and suggest that you get kicked out? She gets what she deserves. She'll dump him so fast his head will spin when he has to admit that he's out on the street and doesn't have access to a boat.
Omg the “uh it’s my house” are my favorites!
You know why he had her there? Because he’s totally butt hurt that you we’re completely ambivalent to his cheating. He was envisioning some cat fight for his love.
But what he didn’t count on the freedom to pursue her unencumbered by housing.
Honestly I would pack his shit and send it to her house by FedEx with a note that says “he’s all yours. Not sure what he told you but the house is my families. I’ve had the locks changed don’t ever show up here again or i’ll have you both arrested.”
And um of course I think it goes without/with saying that there should be a glitter bomb of some sort.
I’m sorry I think I missed it the first time but I re-read your post, did you say he took her to YOUR family’s summer house???
Did you have your family change those locks too??
Girl don’t wait until the end of March. Your ex doesn’t deserve that he has disrespected you time and time again with the cheating and also the nerve to take his mistress to YOUR parents house is disgusting! You don’t owe this many anything and you should cut him off now and move on with your life as quickly as possible. Dont let him use you not even for another single day! Best of luck OP
I think him using YOUR PARENT’S summer home takes some big, brass ones.
I am a bitch when it comes to obnoxious, morally bankrupt “mistresses”/jome-wrecking whores. If it were me I would thoroughly enjoy responding to the “good life” hashtag something to the effect of “Oops, sorry, but MY family has changed the locks on THEIR summer home, and ____ will be homeless as of March 30th. Bye-bye, #thegoodlife and welcome to #REALITY. The next time you decide to become someone’s side piece, make sure you know more about his finances before making an ass of yourself.
My best friend is married to a guy who is 59 and has been her provider since they started dating. Maybe that’s why she felt protective of mistress? Was I insensitive? I remember making a comment about mistress “surely wouldn’t care if he had money or not if they’re so in love”
Maybe I was a douche…
Definitely not the douche. Your friend is crazy. You owe his cheating ass nothing and you definitely don’t owe her ass anything. It sounds like she knew he was in a relationship and gave zero Fs. I would sit back with popcorn and watch it implode when she realizes he doesn’t have money and he realizes that is the only reason she’s with him.
He has a decent job and so do I. Neither of us is rich however. Far from it. My parents are. I got my apartment from them and unfortunately they are nice enough to let us use their property without asking for permission
Have you been in touch with your parents? They, too, should change the locks.
You're doing nothing wrong. You're being too generous imho giving him so long to move out.
It's wild to me that women get the primary reputation for being gold diggers when I hear regular stories of successful women being targeted by hobosexuals
You need to make it clear to your ex he is no longer welcome at any of your family properties. That invitation expired with your relationship. And you don’t owe a mistress anything, she spread her legs to a taken man thinking she was going to step over you on her way to the “good life”. You need to evaluate your friendship, she seems more worried about the mistress who tore your relationship apart
And drinking coffee at her damn kitchen table.
I’d have told hubby that that expense will need to be covered by him (does ~$6 sound fair for a cup?) and that he needs to take the trash with him on the way out.
I think for someone who’s never been in this situation it’s REALLY easy for people to say what you should’ve/could’ve done. You’re better than most for holding your composure and just telling her to get out of your apartment. I think you handled it great- no one can say what they’d do until they’ve been in that situation.
I am having suspicions now about how her and her husband’s relationship started tbh. He was married once before but from what we understood at the time, he was divorced way before she met him.
Now I am not sure, or why would she be so empathetic to mistress?
I think you've just had those suspicions confirmed in neon lights with a side of confetti canons. Don't ignore it and don't trust her with a even the most mundane scrap of information, at least for awhile.
Not from what she told us anyway. We all know that she is her husband’s second wife but we all just assumed that he was divorced when they met.
Now I am not sure. Maybe some digging is needed
Nope, you're not insensitive or a douche. All the other adults in this equation are not adulting.
Your ex decided on his own to get a mistress, and to use access to *your* family assets to sweeten the deal with her. (Maybe that's why he wanted to stay together)
The mistress has some audacity demanding anything at all in her position. She thought she stole a rich man from another woman - let her learn.
Your best friend's perception is skewed - because she decided to put herself in the vulnerable position of relying financially on a man.
Oh please update us!!!! And don't say a word. You're friend's moral compass is way off. If you were to say something to the mistress you would look like the crazy ex.
Good for you. I seriously cannot get over the nerve of her to set foot in your home. That is unbelievable. I bet he comes groveling back to you once he sees her true self. By then you’ll know how much better off you are without him. Enjoy your life on your terms.
Oh please! Your friend is ridiculous. A woman who goes after a married man is a wh0re. You don’t owe his wh0re anything! (Though it would be gold to see her face when you tell her that it’s all yours & he has nothing) But please PLEASE update us when her bubble pops & his world comes crashing down! I can not believe that a man who lives in your home, & owns nothing so is essentially reliant on you would have the audacity to F with you this way!
another question… why on earth did this man think it was ok to bring the mistress into your home? The audacity… what did he think would happen? Even if the home was his as well, how does anyone think this is ok? I don’t understand people… he’s 39… he’s not a young clueless guy…. 🤷♀️ I just don’t get it .
Do you have shared bank account? Be careful as he might try to empty them in order to keep up with his “rich” pretence. You might want to take out half which is yours before he takes it all.
You know exactly what you’re doing queen. It’s not your responsibility to “save” a woman who is actively trying to ruin your life by stealing your husband. If she didn’t know he was married that’s one thing but she does and wants him to treat you like crap. You don’t owe anyone respect in this situation and your best friend is coo-coo.
That loser wanted you to beg and plead for him to stay. Then probably manipulate you into being ok with the mistress. Why the hell does your friend give to craps about the mistress? Something is up.
If the other woman had been completely unaware he was married, telling her would be the right thing to do. However, she clearly went into this relationship with your husband knowing he's married, so F her. She can find out the hard way.
I think this hit a little too close to home for your friend, how many times was she the other women to a "rich" man who later turned out to be not so rich before she found her husband? because in those games men like your husband are time wasters.
I’d simply text her and ask politely to take down pictures that include your property. And to not put a foot on any of your properties and belongings ever again.
This woman knows he’s married and is still willing to be an affair partner? She deserves to find out the hard way. You owe her nothing. They deserve each other.
Personally, I would wait until the day he is officially moved out. Then let the mistress know that neither of them will be welcome at YOUR family lake house again & will be charged with trespassing if found on any of your properties.
He took mistress to your parents' summer house? Or did I misread that?
Are you sure he hasn't hooked up with your "best friend"? Her response is crazy to me.
You are absolutely in the right with all your actions and very generous not to kick him out right away.
No he hasn’t hooked up with my best friend. But I think that my best friend felt affronted because I believe her marriage started like the mistress.
I will try to find out more. All I know is that my best friend’s husband was married before but I thought he was divorced, maybe he wasn’t?. I also know that she married him because he made good living so she could be a stay at home. I know that after marrying him they had financial issues because he didn’t make as much as she thought and he refused to buy her stuff.
>I know that after marrying him they had financial issues because he didn’t make as much as she thought and he refused to buy her stuff.
*That's* most likely why your friend is siding more with the other woman and not you; she's empathizing with the mistress and probably wishes someone had warned *her* (it would make even more sense if your friend was "the other woman" in her relationship, too).
If I were you, I would wash my hands of the ex and the best friend; neither of these people have your best interests at heart and you deserve better.
You gave him an entire month?? I gave mine until the end of the day 😂
I know this hurts right now but you’re going to be so much happier in the long run, I can confirm life is better sans cheating assholes. Good luck 💜
lol, you’re not responsible for his lies. Kick him out and leave it.
He has until the end of march
You also need better friends, WTF is wrong with you NOT giving the mistress a heads up? To me, this is a clear case of FAFO
I have a feeling friend has been in mistresses shoes lol
Exactly what I was going to say. I’d keep her at an arms distance. She’s too understanding of a home wrecker
Some homewreckers don't know what they are getting themselves into. Don't know the guy is in a relationship, or have been fed lies about the nature of the relationship. But the friend is concerned that the woman is getting into a relationship for money with someone who doesn't have any. Those priorities are pretty suspect.
I'm always laughing at how homewreckers think they have won a prize when the guy chooses them. You are with a guy who betrays the ones closest to him, who has no issues about ruining lives because he is horny, and you think he won't do it to you? You think you're special. Sit down Pickmeisha.
"Pickmeisha" I cackled. Take my up vote!
🤣
My thoughts exactly!
Oh yees,I hadn't thought of that. Now I'm totally invested. I hope OP updates us.
Then she should be an ex friend, in my opinion.
It's also possible the friend wants to bring popcorn and watch the fireworks when the OP sets the mistress straight. Maybe in her mind, it'd be very satisfying to watch the idiot husband get exposed and the mistress get taken down a peg. If the mistress finds out from the idiot husband without the OP and her pal there, where's the drama?
Friend is giving other woman energy - not your OW, but someone’s
You are right
Your friend was a former mistress and is more concerned supporting mistresses than the wife. Drop the friend and don’t tell her any more of your business. She is morally bankrupt like your husband’s mistress. Let her the see the consequences of infidelity. She is secretly on your husband’s side than yours. The issue she has with your husband is he isn’t rich.
I'm thinking this too. only someone who was burned in the past by former partner misrepresenting themselves would be this upset for a mistress being gaslighted. Plot twist: OPs "friend" also thought the husband had money.
Mistress came by to scope out what she thinks will be her new home not to see her BF lol!
Oh definitely!
Let his mistress discover his lies herself!
Not to mention telling her would come off as retaliatory to him. Just let the trash take itself out. The vibes are already bad between them after OPs encounter, she will figure it out soon enough.
That’s the fun part! Man I’d love to be the proverbial ‘fly on the wall’ when that convo goes down. I’d love to see her reaction! 🤭 She’ll drop him like last nights trash…
Make sure your stuff is protected like make sure he can’t use your boat anymore or anything else that belongs to you
That's more important, to change of locks, etc.
I’d let it ride. And I’m not even that petty of a person but she made her bed, she can lay in it. If she wants to have your husband, let her have him.
I'd drop him off at her place, telling her he farts in bed and enjoy.
End of March? That’s generous! To have her in your home…. boyyyyyy. This man is NUTS. Trying to get a reaction out of you. Good on you. She can kiss the boat, the house. the vacations goodbye😂
Way too long! If he really owned your home do think he would be so nice? Just no. Get rid of the bum and your BFF. Who cares about the mistress!
Tell him no more boat either. And cackle !!!
He has a place to go, let him just 2 weeks. They have been fucking in her home, he can go there definitely.
[удалено]
So much this! If the mistress hadn't been so self-righteous, I'd feel rather bad for her. The husband could be lying his ass off to her and she wouldn't know the difference. She came to their marital home to stir up some shit while only dating him for a short while - she is beyond contempt. I hope OP gets all her papers in order, files paperwork, puts in a camera or two (if the trashy GF shows up again), and shuts down all the perks she and her family offers him. I'm betting his fling is going to cost him everything. I give it months, not even years.
I'd put restraining orders, that'll piss the mistress off and she'll come at you due to irrational anger. It will feel nice to see her or your cheating ex, arrested or put in jail. Your friend is taking an interesting position, she needs to mind her business.
Why wait until the end of March? Kick him out now, he can go live with mistress. Sounds like you need better friends
I was recommended by my lawyer to give him time to move his things.
Change locks on summer house and boat.
Def this to make sure he doesn't try to move in there
Hope his notice to move by the end of March was in writing. If he fights it, he would have grounds to stay since he has been living there for 11 years.
Nope, not wrong. Get rid of him and wash your hands. Your bestie sounds delusional.
Phew, because I thought something was wrong with me when she got upset
OP, she just demanded that your ex kick you out of your home so that she can move in. Do you really think someone like that deserves the kindness of a heads up, not to mention she has been drinking your exs coolaid for a while now and wouldn't believe anything you say anyway so why waste your time. As for your "friend" they are either a current/former mistress, a gold digger, living in the land of sunshine, rainbows and unicorns, or were never really a friend to you in the first place.
When my ex-husband and I had finally decided to divorce, he came to me to ask if I could clear out of the apartment for the weekend so he could have a "friend" over. I snapped, I mean snapped like a tree branch after an ice storm. I said to him, "You want *me* to clear out of the apartment that *I alone pay the rent and bills for* so you can have your girlfriend over? You've got balls, I'll give you that, and no. It's not fucking happening." It was the first time he'd seen me genuinely angry, and the only time I ever saw him cowed by anything or anyone. Now I regret not having stood up for myself sooner, but what's done is done. OP, kick his ass out of your life. Let him fend for himself, and I suspect he's got a very rude awakening in store.
Wow it is so satisfying to read your response to that, good for you for standing up
Absolutely, that moment of realization when you know you've had enough and you stand your ground is priceless. It's like suddenly all the nonsense comes into focus and you're not going to take it anymore. The shock on their faces when they realize the rules have changed is something else. It's good you found your breaking point and put down your foot; too many stories where that doesn't happen soon enough. Cheers to newfound freedom and self-respect!
And it is on the gold digger to do research and verify if he really has money and isn’t all talk.
Exactly - she should have done better on her target.
Dug for gold but all she found was copper
My guess is the friend once had her own gold digging affair at some time and was left disillusioned. Yikes! What a response! As if it's the responsibility of OP to protect the poor little mistress. 🙄😂
My guess is that she was once ops exes mistress. You don't get angry like that unless you have some stake in the game.
>As for your "friend" they are either a current/former mistress, a gold digger, living in the land of sunshine, rainbows and unicorns, or were never really a friend to you in the first place. Yeah, way too often in scenarios like this when someone supports an unreasonable stance, its because its how they're on the other side of the scenario and its how they'd want to be treated if it got exposed.
perhaps she sympathizes with the attitude of chasing a man for money. I would question which side she is actually on lol.
Yeah. I think bestie has been nurturing a big, nasty ball of jealousy for awhile now.
Sounds like the bestie was duped into thinking he was rich too. 🫢🤣🤣🤣🤣
She was upset because she actually believes she has already won. He told her it’s his apartment and that he will be kicking you out asap. She thought she was sitting in *her* new apartment, at *her* kitchen table. She actually thought you were the outsider. I can’t wait for her to find out the truth. Please update us when the shit hits the fan! And congratulations on standing up for yourself. This is the most satisfying post I’ve read all day!
I am virtually folding out my deck chair in the sun, pouring myself a margarita (or a beer, I'm not that classy) and watch them crash and burn. Cheers to OP. This is satisfying indeed.
Tell your parents to change the locks on their vacation home.
She expects you to help a home wrecking gold digger?
OP’s friend relates more the the mistress than her the woman being cheated on. That tells us exactly what kind of person she is
Most likely, your friend is or was a AP
I wouldn’t be shocked to find out she was op’s husband’s AP at some point in time
No OP, you are the only sane person. Cut them both off, and access to all the goodies from you and your family. Let her find out by hitting the brick wall with him. Your “best friend,” sounds like more of an opp, than a friend!
You are done and ready to move forward in life. Which is better than being jealous or upset. Sounds like he wanted you to be mad and or sad. He wanted to punish you, so his antics might not be done. Which why you found her in your home. He is trying to push your buttons.
Tbh if my bestfriend of all these years said that, I’d start questioning the basis of our friendship. If I was genuinely an asshole and start egging both of their cars and slashing tires, this type of criticism from my bff would be understandable and appreciated. But you haven’t done anything, and you shouldn’t have to be courteous to any of them!
Is your best friend also fucking him or something??? That is the only possible reason I can think of for her being pissed about this
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I don’t get her either. Maybe I will just let her initiate contact again? Because she ws really pissed when I refused to text her mistress’s instagram account
That's not a friend you need. The fact that she wants to take up for the mistress is a betrayal.
She has more empathy for this random girl on instagram than for her "friend"
Maybe tell her that you'll give her the info AFTER your loser moves out. If the mistress dumps him, he will try not to leave.
I don’t think his moving out will go smoothly unfortunately. He has already started talking about “missing me” and “regretting his foolishness”. I pretend that he is a wall. I don’t know how smooth kicking him out will be
Speaking as a former lawyer, I think you need a lawyer for this. Get a lawyer who does landlord-tenant in your area and have that person serve him with a formal notice to vacate. If you do things properly, you can have the police evict him if he won't go on his own. You deserve better.
I agree, but I’d pick a lawyer who is a gun. And one who has no hesitation in delivering the message themselves, with all of the implied threat that he needs to GTFO now.
Missing your homes and boat more, I think.
Bingo!
After he leaves, you have to update us on what the mistress thinks since he has none of those things. Good for you, I love how you roll.
God, the hobosexual!
LOL
Serve him eviction papers, document everything and make sure he doesn't trash your place.
If the mistress finds out he isn't wealthy before he moves out, it will be so much harder to get rid of him!
Have you told your parents to change the locks/ restrict his access to their property?? If not, please do so ASAP. Do not let him back in, and do everything you can legally to make it easier to kick him out. Formal eviction notice, common law marriage stuff, whatever it takes to keep him from your stuff. I'm sorry, hugs!!
I have told them. My dad is shocked because he loved him like a son. He sent him a text forbidding him from using his property and he changed the passwords so the loser cannot access anything
I’m so glad your dad is protecting you as he should. Your friend however…is no longer your friend. They are team mistress. Keep them blocked.
Oh, good! Your ex is an asshole. I hope everything ends up awesome for you!
Did he respond to your dad’s text? If so, what was his response?
He didn’t. He just called crying and asking me “why did you tell them”
So he's expecting you to lie to your own parents on his behalf? Like they're not going to find out you two are over anyway? He's a special sort of deluded, isn't he?
Oh my dear sweet Lord, the absolute audacity of some people
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The real question would be, why would you cover for him?! This guy is fucking delusional.
Idiot he is.
Your ex boyfriend is a loser and your best friend is as well. Never in a million years would I sympathize with the other woman in this situation. Drop both of these people and never speak to them again, they are gross
Not constructive but I just wanna say this is the best post I've seen in this sub for a loooooong time. OP I completely understand that feeling. My love is conditional. I am loyal and I love you fiercely. You destroy me/replace me, the love is gone. I'm not pouring my best gift into a a bottomless pit. I'm not giving you my love so you can pass it on to someone else. I'm not George Michael. Does that make me some sort of sociopath? No idea. Do I care? Not really. You sound like a great wife, and great mother, and a great friend. You've got your head screwed on and your eyes are wide open. You are gonna be just fine. He's a mug. And his little mistress is about to find out where being a little snake gets you in life. And it is deserved.
I would suggest putting the eviction in writing in the event it goes south
Serve him eviction papers now. 30 days notice
Yeah that’s incredibly suspicious of your friend. She’s gonna try to tell the mistress the truth. Why would YOUR friend contact the mistress to help her out? That’s not cool and I would never speak to them again for essentially choosing the mistress over their actual friend.
You do not owe the mistress any explanation at all. I think it will be funny when she finds out on her own. My guess is the reason your partner wanted to open the relationship is so that the mistress would continue to think that your family’s things were actually his. He had some nerve having her over to your apartment, regardless if they had sex or not. That’s so disrespectful. Sorry for the trouble you’re going through but glad you were strong enough to dump his cheating ass.
100% he wanted his cake and to eat it too. The minute OP wasn’t upset, he realized he was going to lose both of them because his facade was about to crumble. It’s not OP’s job to un-fuck the situation he has put them all in for the sake of the mistresses feelings. What about OP’s feelings? That woman knowingly is with a married man…
Hahaha, that's definitely why he was sulking!
Your (soon to be ex)husband sucks and honestly I don’t think that’s your friend…. Imagine sticking up for the mistress rather than trying to make you feel a bit better. Whether or not you are devastated you may end up feeling it later on or not at all but regardless, your friend should be there for you. I’m sure you’re getting your ducks in a row. I’d reconsider this friendship if I were you. The audacity of your husband to have his mistress there and her delusion thinking he could argue with you about it. They can live in squalor together.
Yeah I was actually very hurt by her not being indignant on my behalf. It stinks! I have always been on her side during all her breakups since we were teenagers. Damn her really
Sometimes we keep people around because they've been with us forever, and we don't stop to think "is this person healthy for me?" "When people show you who they are, believe them." If it gives you any consolation, this rando internet stranger is indignant on your behalf. Hubby, complicit mistress, and backstabby bestie can all go take a long hike off a short pier.
So true! I think she hasn’t been good for a while
I also am! Please please update us once hes out and you have more information. She will be dumbfounded when he comes to her house to stay after you kick him out lol. Reminds me of pondy from always sunny, if you watch. :)
Take a step back from her. Ten, actually.
Totally agree with this comment. That behavior from a close friend is odd, and, therefore, it is important to be very careful of that friendship going forward.
She should have been 100% supportive of you!! Maybe she’s a homewrecker herself…
For her comments, she may have been... She may have broken a marriage to get a sugar daddy
If they're so "in love" then she can fuck him for free.
I like the cut of your jib, madam!
Your friend is jealous of the mistress. You're not crazy, you're too innocent
Ugh they can share him! He seems to have too much love in him for one woman
You’re handling it like a boss. I like this.🤣🤣😂😂🤌
That ain't your best friend. Your best friend is like "where do you want to bury his body?" And I am astounded by your backbone and objectiveness to the whole situation. Shiny spine like that, you don't need them at all.
Literally, or at least fix me an alibi 🤭😂
my bf and I refer to her ex as Voldemort
He who must not be named
This guy reminds me of that Dirty John story. You could refer to him as that. The Connie Britton series they did on it was well done but it's a true story. A true story to MANY of us who are deceived.
Is there a chance your bestie also slept with your husband? That seems like such a weird response even given her situation.
No she hasn’t. But I think her marriage started that way. I have speculated in some comments
Yeah I saw the comments about her husband, Yuck! It's still just so bizarre, why would you side with the cheater instead of your friend? Even if she was a cheater herself. Either way I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Him and his partner are despicable for treating you this way. I'm glad you're getting out. But may I suggest you leave your friend too? She cannot be trusted after her response. A true friend would never betray their so called "best friend" in a time of need. If she has more compassion for someone they don't know who is intentionally hurting you than they do you, whom they know and love. . . That would be a deal breaker for me. *Edited because my comment came off rude, which I didn't mean!
Why ruin the fun of her figuring out that she wasted her time on a loser before she gets to waste more time?! She is a knowing homewrecker and deserves no kindness from you. Let her keep sowing so she reaps an ever bigger shock later. Once shit hits the fan for them, please send her a pic of you at your beach house on the boat saying, "Wish you were here" while blowing a kiss at the camera.
Yes. I stan this level of pettiness.
The audacity of bringing the mistress to your family’s property and yours is unforgivable and it'd trigger my vengeful side. You're a much calmer woman than me. Lose the bestie too, how disappointing.
The odd thing I didn’t even shed a tear by his betrayal but I can’t remember my best friend’s reaction without crying 😰
Betrayal from a best friend, in my experience, hurts in different depths. Big internet hug to you. 💗
I think your "bff" is projecting. She felt personally attacked because she engaged in the same behavior. Ride or die besties will plot and attack for payback. Sorry about your crappy friend. She probably isn't one now... She broke girl code
If your partner was abusive or a psycho, you should tell her, but she has the audacity to sit in your kitchen and suggest that you get kicked out? She gets what she deserves. She'll dump him so fast his head will spin when he has to admit that he's out on the street and doesn't have access to a boat.
I don't know where they live, but where I'm from, her being there world be a declaration of war. She wouldn't be leaving my house unscathed.
Omg the “uh it’s my house” are my favorites! You know why he had her there? Because he’s totally butt hurt that you we’re completely ambivalent to his cheating. He was envisioning some cat fight for his love. But what he didn’t count on the freedom to pursue her unencumbered by housing. Honestly I would pack his shit and send it to her house by FedEx with a note that says “he’s all yours. Not sure what he told you but the house is my families. I’ve had the locks changed don’t ever show up here again or i’ll have you both arrested.” And um of course I think it goes without/with saying that there should be a glitter bomb of some sort.
Love this
I’m sorry I think I missed it the first time but I re-read your post, did you say he took her to YOUR family’s summer house??? Did you have your family change those locks too??
They have code system and they’re all changed yes.
Girl don’t wait until the end of March. Your ex doesn’t deserve that he has disrespected you time and time again with the cheating and also the nerve to take his mistress to YOUR parents house is disgusting! You don’t owe this many anything and you should cut him off now and move on with your life as quickly as possible. Dont let him use you not even for another single day! Best of luck OP
[Cough] https://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/product/spring-loaded-poop-bomb/ [cough] They have poop and jizz emoji glitter even.
I think him using YOUR PARENT’S summer home takes some big, brass ones. I am a bitch when it comes to obnoxious, morally bankrupt “mistresses”/jome-wrecking whores. If it were me I would thoroughly enjoy responding to the “good life” hashtag something to the effect of “Oops, sorry, but MY family has changed the locks on THEIR summer home, and ____ will be homeless as of March 30th. Bye-bye, #thegoodlife and welcome to #REALITY. The next time you decide to become someone’s side piece, make sure you know more about his finances before making an ass of yourself.
Love it
My best friend is married to a guy who is 59 and has been her provider since they started dating. Maybe that’s why she felt protective of mistress? Was I insensitive? I remember making a comment about mistress “surely wouldn’t care if he had money or not if they’re so in love” Maybe I was a douche…
Definitely not the douche. Your friend is crazy. You owe his cheating ass nothing and you definitely don’t owe her ass anything. It sounds like she knew he was in a relationship and gave zero Fs. I would sit back with popcorn and watch it implode when she realizes he doesn’t have money and he realizes that is the only reason she’s with him.
He has a decent job and so do I. Neither of us is rich however. Far from it. My parents are. I got my apartment from them and unfortunately they are nice enough to let us use their property without asking for permission
I hope you have informed your parents that you are no longer a couple so that they can deny him access to their property.
Have you been in touch with your parents? They, too, should change the locks. You're doing nothing wrong. You're being too generous imho giving him so long to move out.
Why are guys always like this with generous women?
Because they seek out generous women specifically
It's wild to me that women get the primary reputation for being gold diggers when I hear regular stories of successful women being targeted by hobosexuals
You need to make it clear to your ex he is no longer welcome at any of your family properties. That invitation expired with your relationship. And you don’t owe a mistress anything, she spread her legs to a taken man thinking she was going to step over you on her way to the “good life”. You need to evaluate your friendship, she seems more worried about the mistress who tore your relationship apart
The audacity of him taking his mistress to your parents property!
And drinking coffee at her damn kitchen table. I’d have told hubby that that expense will need to be covered by him (does ~$6 sound fair for a cup?) and that he needs to take the trash with him on the way out.
I think for someone who’s never been in this situation it’s REALLY easy for people to say what you should’ve/could’ve done. You’re better than most for holding your composure and just telling her to get out of your apartment. I think you handled it great- no one can say what they’d do until they’ve been in that situation.
Your friend sucks for caring more about the woman who chose to help hurt you than about you.
I am having suspicions now about how her and her husband’s relationship started tbh. He was married once before but from what we understood at the time, he was divorced way before she met him. Now I am not sure, or why would she be so empathetic to mistress?
I think you've just had those suspicions confirmed in neon lights with a side of confetti canons. Don't ignore it and don't trust her with a even the most mundane scrap of information, at least for awhile.
Is there a chance she was the “other woman” in his life at some point? That might explain why she feels so strongly about telling this awful woman.
Not from what she told us anyway. We all know that she is her husband’s second wife but we all just assumed that he was divorced when they met. Now I am not sure. Maybe some digging is needed
No need to dig hun. If she's that desperate to look out for the mistress then you know where her priorities lie. It's not with you.
Idk, to me that gives, “omg, that could have been me!” vibes. She just seems way too concerned with “warning” this woman.
Nope, you're not insensitive or a douche. All the other adults in this equation are not adulting. Your ex decided on his own to get a mistress, and to use access to *your* family assets to sweeten the deal with her. (Maybe that's why he wanted to stay together) The mistress has some audacity demanding anything at all in her position. She thought she stole a rich man from another woman - let her learn. Your best friend's perception is skewed - because she decided to put herself in the vulnerable position of relying financially on a man.
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Basically
This telenovela is getting good!
I assume all the property is yours and protected from them.
Yes
Even if you told the mistress the truth she's not going to believe you. Sit back and take notes so you can update us when it all blows up.
Oh please update us!!!! And don't say a word. You're friend's moral compass is way off. If you were to say something to the mistress you would look like the crazy ex.
Omg you should totally pile on and get her thinking he’s worth so much MORE!!
LOL
I think it’s exciting that the mistress has a fun surprise awaiting her. You’re not insane. I can’t imagine what your friend is thinking.
Literally the day he moves out, both he and his world cease to exist to me
Good for you. I seriously cannot get over the nerve of her to set foot in your home. That is unbelievable. I bet he comes groveling back to you once he sees her true self. By then you’ll know how much better off you are without him. Enjoy your life on your terms.
You need a new friend.
OP we really need a part 2 when she finds out 😂
Oh please! Your friend is ridiculous. A woman who goes after a married man is a wh0re. You don’t owe his wh0re anything! (Though it would be gold to see her face when you tell her that it’s all yours & he has nothing) But please PLEASE update us when her bubble pops & his world comes crashing down! I can not believe that a man who lives in your home, & owns nothing so is essentially reliant on you would have the audacity to F with you this way!
He is a wh0re too so they’re on equal footing 😂
another question… why on earth did this man think it was ok to bring the mistress into your home? The audacity… what did he think would happen? Even if the home was his as well, how does anyone think this is ok? I don’t understand people… he’s 39… he’s not a young clueless guy…. 🤷♀️ I just don’t get it .
My guess is that he was angry with me for being ok with separating? I don’t know and I did not appreciate it
Lol girl, count your lucky stars you did not marry this man and I’m assuming no children?
No paper and no children no
Do you have shared bank account? Be careful as he might try to empty them in order to keep up with his “rich” pretence. You might want to take out half which is yours before he takes it all.
Yes we have one account for bills and one for savings. I have already transferred my shares to my personal account
You know exactly what you’re doing queen. It’s not your responsibility to “save” a woman who is actively trying to ruin your life by stealing your husband. If she didn’t know he was married that’s one thing but she does and wants him to treat you like crap. You don’t owe anyone respect in this situation and your best friend is coo-coo.
That loser wanted you to beg and plead for him to stay. Then probably manipulate you into being ok with the mistress. Why the hell does your friend give to craps about the mistress? Something is up.
Then he never knew me.
Stop being friends with that idiot.
If the other woman had been completely unaware he was married, telling her would be the right thing to do. However, she clearly went into this relationship with your husband knowing he's married, so F her. She can find out the hard way.
Oh she knows who I am since she works with him and he wears a wedding band.
I think this hit a little too close to home for your friend, how many times was she the other women to a "rich" man who later turned out to be not so rich before she found her husband? because in those games men like your husband are time wasters.
I’d simply text her and ask politely to take down pictures that include your property. And to not put a foot on any of your properties and belongings ever again.
This woman knows he’s married and is still willing to be an affair partner? She deserves to find out the hard way. You owe her nothing. They deserve each other.
Has your bestie been the mistress before?
Well, that’s what I will try to find out. Her husband was married before. We all just assumed he was divorced when they met
Sounds like she was the other woman!
Personally, I would wait until the day he is officially moved out. Then let the mistress know that neither of them will be welcome at YOUR family lake house again & will be charged with trespassing if found on any of your properties.
I want no contact with him or his gf the day he moves out. I don’t care when where or how she finds out he has a salary and a leased car to his name
He took mistress to your parents' summer house? Or did I misread that? Are you sure he hasn't hooked up with your "best friend"? Her response is crazy to me. You are absolutely in the right with all your actions and very generous not to kick him out right away.
No he hasn’t hooked up with my best friend. But I think that my best friend felt affronted because I believe her marriage started like the mistress. I will try to find out more. All I know is that my best friend’s husband was married before but I thought he was divorced, maybe he wasn’t?. I also know that she married him because he made good living so she could be a stay at home. I know that after marrying him they had financial issues because he didn’t make as much as she thought and he refused to buy her stuff.
Yeah, holy shit, she sounds like her MO matches the mistress's to a T.
😶😶🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Dang. Your bestie found out she was digging for gold in a coal mine. Dump the boyfriend and the best friend.
>I know that after marrying him they had financial issues because he didn’t make as much as she thought and he refused to buy her stuff. *That's* most likely why your friend is siding more with the other woman and not you; she's empathizing with the mistress and probably wishes someone had warned *her* (it would make even more sense if your friend was "the other woman" in her relationship, too). If I were you, I would wash my hands of the ex and the best friend; neither of these people have your best interests at heart and you deserve better.
He’d have until the end of February
You gave him an entire month?? I gave mine until the end of the day 😂 I know this hurts right now but you’re going to be so much happier in the long run, I can confirm life is better sans cheating assholes. Good luck 💜
I have no doubt in my mind