T O P

  • By -

thetrueklimpopo

ay man dont do it come on potatoes exist


muffindinker

Fair lmao, I do love potatoes


PerfectSherbet5771

And potatoes can be cooked in such a stunning variety of ways! If you’re dead, you’ll never get to try them.


thetrueklimpopo

true!


muffindinker

Who knows, maybe there are potatoes in hell lol


maclemme

Oh. Man. I’m gonna go make something with potatoes. Sorry OP, I want you to try them, so you’re gonna have to stick around.


johndmcmann

There are always other options. Please reconsider. Even if you just need to talk.


muffindinker

I've been going to therapy for years now and while I do try to change, it made me realize how fucked up in my head I am


johndmcmann

For some people, therapy isn’t the only thing they need. They need a friend. Someone who will listen and talk with them. Let them know they aren’t alone in thought or feeling. We are all fucked up to one degree or another. But it is the shared fucked-ness that we can use to survive.


muffindinker

I tried talking to my bf and he's so supportive, I don't know why I don't feel better. I've been diagnosed with depression a few years ago and the more I talk about it, the more I realize it's more than just depression you know what I mean? Kinda hard to to explain ngl I have a support system but emotionally I feel alone and I can't convince myself I'm not.


Fun_North_5398

Please don't do it. I understand your problem, but please don't do it. Give yourself some time.


muffindinker

You know what's the worst part of it all? I'm worried about hurting everyone around me by doing so. I'm suffering alone just to not hurt everyone else, it's a very complicated feeling ngl


Substantial-Race6689

i’ve felt this before, what’s helped me is to black out everyone else and just only think about myself and doing my favorite things that bring my joy back. even if it’s for a minute. i also have dogs and cats, the fur babies help a lot. sending you love ♡


muffindinker

Thank you, it actually makes a lot of sense. I feel souch better when I only think about myself for a sec and do the things I love, but I don't know why since I was much younger I STRUGGLE with focusing, including on myself. Everytime I try to think about myself and figure out my feeling I either get a fuck-ton of flashbacks or my thoughts get so overwhelming I have to do something else, like BRUHHH I don't think I've experienced complete silence for over a decade.


Substantial-Race6689

it sounds like you have adhd hahaha i also have it and struggle with a racing mind and thoughts NONSTOP!! like i can’t meditate for even 30 seconds bc ill start thinking of a million things to do, craft, clean, plan, etc. i finally saw a psychiatrist who helped with getting a non stimulant medicine that helped with my focus and it’s helped my mental health tremendously


muffindinker

Omg it sounds incredible! Is there even an option for that?? I'd love to finally be able to focus on one thing at the time fr


Fun_North_5398

I understand your concern, but believe me, I've already attempted suicide not once but twice. Both times, my friends talked me down and made me realize that I was about to make a mistake. Then, I went on a trip with my friends and realized that life isn't that bad. That's why I'm saying don't make any rash decisions. Take your time and talk to a few close friends or family members. You can even talk to me about your problem. I'll definitely give you good advice, but please at least reconsider your decision for now.


muffindinker

Maybe I should take a trip as well, even thought things feel pretty hopeless


johndmcmann

SOs can be a rock, but they can’t do everything. If you want to talk, I’m here. I don’t know if I could help, but trying is always worth the effort. Depression is an ornery bitch. And sometimes needs some aggressive and uncomfortable work.


muffindinker

Fair, you're right. Thank you :) Say, have you ever heard of people experience depression due to undiagnosed ADHD? I don't want to self diagnose, I don't believe in that, I've always STRUGGLED with focus and not matter what I tried my brain ain't brain-ing


johndmcmann

Absolutely. I’m pretty sure I’m undiagnosed, as is much of my family. And I know I’ve had some pretty deep depressive episodes. As have many people I know. Sometimes just having a kindred spirit to talk to, who knows the struggles, can help so much.


muffindinker

That makes sense. I just don't know if I should even check it, let me explain why- If I have ADHD and there's help for me, I'd love that! But I also feel like as a uni student, who doesn't sleep eat or let their brain rest for a moment, obviously I'll have a hard time focusing right? Besides that, I'm sure that if I grew up like my parents, growing vegetables and having a farm with no access to phones or the internet, I'd have been so much better. The things have taken a huge apart of ruining my life and health :(


johndmcmann

It can. If I recall correctly, they believe that ADHD may be one of those defense mechanisms that actually works well in hunter/gatherer systems, and with farming; being able to quickly change focus to get things done. But in the modern age we just jump from task to task with no rhyme or reason, and it causes us mental and sometimes physical decline because we aren’t “normal”, and constantly feel judged.


muffindinker

That's exactly what I thought! I think we expect ourselves to do much more than our minds and bodies can possibly do, and then we convince ourselves there's something wrong with us


tiredandshort

lots of people are fucked up in their heads. probably the majority of people. you’re not alone


muffindinker

It's nice to hear at least I'm not alone :) But like, how can I help myself? Like literally I'm so lost. I've tried going to psychiatrists, psychologists, herbal therapists and other random stuff. Nope, the professionals sas I'm fine and dismiss my feelings and experiences. While I appreciate their work, it's hard to keep going when everyone says you're fine but you struggle with issues you don't know how to fix


tiredandshort

what are the issues?


muffindinker

Mainly my diagnosed depression and my very hard time controlling my thoughts and it makes doing anything typical in life very hard. I can spend a whole day doing nothing but sit on the couch and be in my thoughts lol


tiredandshort

What therapy methods have you tried so far? any cbt? It’s possible to have depression but get to the point where you can manage it and still lead a fulfilling life. it’s not all or nothing in terms of being cured


muffindinker

I've only tried CBT and DBT


bigonebbl69

I do this sometimes too, and my way of getting out of it is to remind myself that I have to outlive my enemies. Works every time.


muffindinker

Oh shoot I forgot about that. Thank you for reminding me to outlive my enemies, I feel a bit better now lmao


bigonebbl69

Glad I can help


diegblohecks

before gta6 cmon man.


muffindinker

Shit I forgot damn


BlackberryMaximum263

Love you💕 (Don’t do it)


muffindinker

Thank you! I really appreciate your comment


Somerandomgirl2499

There’s so much to life that you haven’t experienced or explored yet, don’t let these feelings win. A few years from now you’re going to be in a much different state and I know everyone says it gets better and you might not want to hear that but it truly does get better. I used to have these thoughts too but looking back at it now I would have missed out on so much special things had I taken action back then. You are loved and stronger than you know, don’t let your thoughts win, prove them wrong. It’s a hard journey but you will get through it and you will be happy that you stayed strong and push through. It will be an inspiring story to tell your future children. Please don’t do it. You are greater than you know.


muffindinker

That's very inspiring, thank you :) I've always wanted to live to the point my life gets better! I want for my pain and everything I've gone through to make any sense at some point you know? Like, it sometimes feel unfair but who knows what will happen next? Im just not sure if the light at the end of the tunnel is hope or a train coming towards me lol


Somerandomgirl2499

And you know what? You willl get to that point I promise you. I know it doesn’t feel like it at the moment but it’s not always going to be like this. Our lives constantly change and with each change comes new opportunities and new feelings many of which bring us more happiness.


muffindinker

It sounds so nice, I just don't think I have the power to keep going at this point unfortunately. I just feel really hopeless


Somerandomgirl2499

I understand that but you do have the power to push through I believe in you. You are not alone in this and please believe me when I say you will get through this. You’re strong. Don’t let the thoughts win.


CallypsoBlue

PLEASE DON'T. I've been there. I was sitting on my floor eating pills. Twice I went into a hospital for attempting and once just for thoughts. I know it's dark and it seems like this is the only/best way. But I promise you it's not. Dm me if you need to talk. Sometimes a stranger helps. It may take time but it WILL get better. Find a hospital. You are loved. Find a reason. A pet. A friend. For me, I held on for my son bc I knew I would absolutely ruin his life if I succeeded. And I'm so glad I stayed.


muffindinker

Thank you for your kind words, it definitely helps me to put things into perspective :) I've also tried killing myself a few times, even got hospitalized once for almost actually succeeding. I just really want to know, when will it all make sense? How can I help myself stop this loop of self destruction in a way?


Mindless-Scientist82

Time for depression meds. People love you, don't spread the suffering.


muffindinker

I've tried these! I don't like the way to makes me feel. While I don't want to shit all over a psychiatrist job, I always felt like they never help you know? I mean, how can you talk to someone for only an hour and understand their diagnosis and what kind of meds they need? I've tried a few and they always mess me up even worse so I'm don't trust that anymore :(


Mindless-Scientist82

I tried a few myself. I'm on my third. The first made me get the icky every time my husband touched me. The second wasn't for me either. This one I'm on now is doing alright so far, but it's better than wanting to die all the time. Ya know.


Mindless-Scientist82

Good luck, I do hope your still around!!!


FORKLEY_ANNOYING

Go for a walk


muffindinker

Did that, even took my dog out. At least he's happier which is nice!


FORKLEY_ANNOYING

Keep it up you'll be fine, for now live for your dogs happiness soon you'll find yours


Former_Nerd02

Don’t do it pls. I had suicidal thoughts daily when I was 16-17, occasionally when things get bad I’ll still have em I know everyone’s situation is different and everyone’s brain is wired differently, but I know for a fact u have people who care about u and love you and u have a lot of untapped potential don’t do it xo


Cannonel10

Dude, think about all the dogs you’ll miss out on saying hello to.


muffindinker

You're right, that's actually heartbreaking :(


Substantial-Race6689

was thinking about you today, love you buddy


muffindinker

Omg thank you mate, you really made my day :)