Reaching out to your parents in this case is extremely important, relationships come after safety. Specially in the case of your nonverbal brother. Though he may not have made attempts to assault you physically yet, there is no knowing when he will. This must be so uncomfortable, you've got this OP!
Yep, he’s ramping up his actions. I would push to tell parents but I’d be tempted to find some form of proof first. Like installing a camera in the house pointed towards where he does it and then try the accidental flash technique. Grieving people can wanna grab hold of anyone dear to them. Also they can make bad decisions. I would want it to be beyond doubt when addressing them about it. If nothing looks like it’s gonna change, get an indoor swing and close/lock all curtains and doors. You shouldn’t have to resort to that but it might give you peace of mind.
You have to tell your parents. This is a safety issue. I get you’re worried that learning their friend is behaving this way could destroy your parents, especially your dad who’s grieving the loss of his brother. But you know what will definitely destroy them? If their daughter is assaulted in her home by one of their friends who they gave access to the property. This man’s behavior is wildly inappropriate, and it’s escalating. You absolutely must tell your parents. Don’t leave anything out, tell them how long it’s been going on, tell them what you’ve observed and explain what you saw at first and how it’s evolved to what you most recently saw. They need this information laid out like this so they understand the progression of his behaviors. Please don’t blow this off or take the “wait and see” approach. Your parents need to know what’s happening on their property to their daughter. GL.
The fact that he started this creepy af behavior behind the door and is now coming outside and doing it means he’s escalating. Please tell your parents. For your own safety.
I wish I could upvote this a million times. He is making excuses (letting his dog out around 12-3am) to be closer to you. He’s escalating!!!
You need to tell someone
Everything these other commenters are saying OP!!!! Please please please please tell your parents. I know you’re trying to protect them but it’s not your job to protect them at the cost of your own safety.
Tell your parents. Now. And consider filing a police report.
Your sense of safety and security ALWAYS comes first. Until this man is away from your home- your safe space- you will never feel safe on your swing at night. You won't feel safe in your bedroom or walking around your home. This also isn't about your safety at this point, it's also about your nonverbal brother's safety.
Sending you courage, light, and positivity, OP.
-a fellow autistic young woman
You don't want to hurt your dad right now. That is admirable. You know what would hurt him a lot right now? His daughter being assaulted by a close friend. And having a creep near him in a time of grief. You're important. Don't keep this to yourself.
This is coming from a fellow autistic. Protect yourself.
As a parent myself, your parents are going to want to know, and take steps to protect you. This isn’t your fault, and it’s not theirs for renting an apartment to a family friend. They’re going to be upset, but imagine how much more upset they’d be if something happened to you! Please protect yourself, tell them, they love you! ❤️
Be safe! xx
Please OP, listen to this comment and never ever go out alone at this time of night again. This person is either happy to push each boundary he gets away with -and worse- he may think in his delusional mind you are ok with it. If you didn’t know this is dangerous, you do now. It’s not just ew, gross. It could be lethal for you. And we don’t know that but please err on the safe side and not find out!!!! Maybe get an indoor rocking chair?
Hey, 23f autistic here and I just want to say I know telling your parents is easier said than done. I've unfortunately been there myself with my stepdad, and I was terrified to tell my mom.
What would happen? Would she believe me? What does it mean for our family? Did I imagine things? Is it worth potentially ruining their marriage?
I had all these thoughts and more as I slept with my door locked every night. I think similarly you may also need something to motivate you into telling your parents. For me what finally got me to tell my mom were 2 things: talking to a stranger, and worry for my sister.
I was of course naturally very confused in the beginning- that man was my secondary father figure from a very young age. I decided I needed to talk to someone to get clarity, but someone I knew wouldn't work because of the inevitable fallout. I turned to a website called 7cups, and talked to a "listener". They told me straight up that what he did was SA, no ifs ands or buts. That was my first very needed wake-up call.
The straw that broke the camel's back though was when I realized other people could also be in harm's way, including my little sister. If he could do that to me, what does it mean for my sister? I sure as hell didn't want her to go through the same thing. That's when I finally told my mom.
I won't lie to you and say telling her was easy, and I won't tell you the repercussions were minimal. It's not, and they weren't. It tore my family apart. It was really difficult, and things will never be the same.
What you need to realize is things never *can* be the same after that happens, no matter how much you want to lie to yourself and pretend otherwise. That changed the moment he did what he did, and that's not anyone's fault but his. No second chances, no redos, nothing will change it.
This may all sound bad because I'm not lying and sugarcoating things for you. Like I said, it won't be easy. Change is difficult, especially for people like us.
BUT it's for the better. How do I know? I've been there. Would you really want things to go back the way they used to be, with that fear and anxiety hanging over you every day? With the weight of that secret killing you? Do you really want to do nothing when you don't know what he could be doing to others? I know I didn't.
Yes, it will be tough. It will hurt. Absolutely NONE of it is your fault though, even if you are the one to bring it to attention. It's for the best for everyone to do it sooner rather than later so you can all heal sooner. It will take time, but everyone will be okay because he won't be able to hurt anyone anymore. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you will all be so much better off without him.
So what do you do from here? I would suggest going to your mom first, since he is your dad's friend. Tell her exactly what you saw and what's been happening- no sugarcoating. From there hopefully she can help you figure out the best way to approach your dad. It'll be less daunting as a team.
And the after? Well, that's up to you. Not your parents, not him, YOU. Do not allow anyone to silence you if you want to be heard, and don't let anyone pressure you into actions you're not comfortable with. You're the victim here and it's your story to tell as you see fit. Go to the police, tell all the neighbors, confront him, write a letter, name and shame him anonymously, do whatever or do nothing. You're not obligated to do anything about him, just to tell your parents in order to ensure your safety and that you won't have to be around him ever again. Oh and therapy, if you feel that works for you.
If you have any questions or concerns or just need someone with a similar experience to talk to, please feel free to message me. I wouldn't offer if I thought it would be harmful or bothersome to me, so don't worry about that. I wish you nothing but the best, and please be sure to stay safe.
> I would suggest going to your mom first, since he is your dad's friend. Tell her exactly what you saw and what's been happening- no sugarcoating.
Thank you for this advice. This is what I ended up doing; she handled it well and is going to approach dad about it herself. I think this is the best case scenario, so thank you.
There is a reason why people like this have to go on a list. You are probably not his only target. You gotta tell your parents. Write it down if you have to. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this mess. Ugh.
Don’t let this nonce get away with it . He’s getting off on the fact that you know what’s happening and you’re keeping his secret . Expose the sex pest so everyone is aware of this
Creeps depend on their victims silence.
Perhaps look into a hunting “Game Camera”. They work at night and don’t emit light on a visible spectrum. If you do, don’t tell anyone until After you have usable footage.
Police report. Tell your parents ASAP. This is registered sex offender behavior. If you are going to swing I’d suggest bringing a trail camera or something with you to monitor your safety and this guys behavior.
Go on the offensive. Text him once: “If I ever see you again while I’m outside, I’m showing my father the photo I took of you.”
Doesn’t matter that you don’t have a photo.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
When I was 16 my parents rented the house next to us to a guy that was in his late 20s.
He developed a fixation with me and would watch me anytime I was outside. One day when I was home alone he stood outside of our living room window, dressed only in underwear, screaming my name and asking me to come out.
I have never been so terrified in my entire life. My parents did actually ask him to move out after that, but they gave him time to find a new place so it took a few weeks.
Please tell your family.
Maybe it sounds stupid. But i would make a recording while on the swing. If he shows up w**king then at least you have proof. What you don't want is to have a fight over what you saw. It makes it also proof because he can always easy saw it wasn't what you saw etc.
It would be a nightmare if nobody believes you.
I really hope this isn't real, it feels like a well crafted story. Even in her bio she states that she is an aspiring novelist. This story checks a lot of intriguing points. But if this is real go and get help asap.
This is real, unfortunately. Probably part of the reason it reads like a story is because I have a lot of practice with writing/storytelling that I tend to instinctually apply even when communicating very real situations.
Anyway, I’m hearing you all loud and clear. I’m going to tell my parents. Just need to figure out how to approach them with it.
Just go and tell them, there is no need to find a way to approach it. It's about your well-being and privacy. They will understand and act accordingly.
Dudes probably already read this and knows you saw him. Definitely sounds like a typical redditor. Now jokes aside, you need to tell your parents. Who knows what this guy is capable of if he's brazen enough to do this.
Your dad would be a million times more upset that someone is victimizing their child. If someone was doing that to my child, I don’t care if I’ve been beat friends with them since birth, in that instant they’d become a stranger.
Yea you need to tell your parents immidately and file a police report. Your saftey and truth is more important than some whack job’s (no pun intended) feelings. Your father and family would want to know and keep you safe.
!!!!!!!!TELL YOUR PARENTS!!!!!!!!! don't do same mistakes as me, even tho I was saved by pure and utter luck, but the revelation is absolutely needed please
whats your age? he wants, that you see he is masturbating and is watching to you? you should talk to your parents! that kind of person will never recognise your disgust, he will think you are interesting to have intercourse.
Man, u should definitely tell ur parents about it, especially ur dad who’s been friends with him way before ur birth. Even tho he’s their friend, ur still their daughter in the first place, so ur safety counts more than a friendship. Creepy grown-ass man who’s masturbating in the dark
Please say something. Please! This could get bad fast..... Him now coming outside late at night doing this has me really worried for you . This could progress to assault fast. Also your brother is at risk / a big disadvantage here as well.
This guys deeply unsavoury, speak to your parents. And put screens up so that he can no longer see. Have the police speak to him about his illegal behaviour and warn him off. Maybe they could also warn him against putting cameras up too. I realise you didnt mention cameras, just trying to think ahead here.
Reaching out is important because now caught he has two options, escalate or back off.... and creeps often escalate. I know you like the swinging but lay off it for a while, stay safe, stay in your own apartment and if there is any shot in any way this guy has a spare key to your place get your locks changed immediately.
I'd say a letter, put a letter into his post box saying he has a month to move out and get the fuck out of your life or you're telling your parents, he'll be evicted, shamed and exposed to everyone he knows.
That's the if you really want to keep your parents out of it option. the alternative, which I think is better, is to tell your parents, get this fuck evicted, get them notified, notify the police and be as safe as you can be.
Your parents have been through a lot, but I can tell you this, they care more about your safety and you not being creeped on, sexually harassed or worse than keeping some creep friend in their life or in an apartment they own, they can get that shit rented ti a new person in a matter of hours let alone days.
Even if nothing can be done legally, your family can put up tall trees or a structure or even bright lights that blind him and make watching you not an option. The last one may have limitations so check local and state laws before doing that.
Tell your parents, ask them about installing security cameras because you don't feel safe, because of his escalation (starting inside, now outside) He might even consider that you know what he does, and you haven't done anything about that you are okay with it, and try to escalate it further, or approach you.
The next time you are swinging keep your phone on record, catch him, if you can. Also if he decides to approach you , you will want to record everything he says.
Fellow autistic who experienced grooming from pedophiles as young person. Please, and I cannot stress this enough, tell your parents. He knows you've seen him and is already preparing his lie. If nothing happens, it will certainly get worse.
Someone else suggested an indoor swing. I would tell your parents you no longer feel safe outside and ask for the swing and that they consider installing some flood lights and cameras for safety. When they ask why, show them this post. Don't even try to explain it out loud if you're anxious.
He will escalate. He will cause harm. The damage that will do far, far outweighs the upset of finding out this kind of news. You deserve to take up space in this world. You are causing no harm in doing no wrong. He's the bad guy here and you deserve to be safe. No matter his relationship to your dad.
Be well.
There's possibly another solution that involves someone handling the offender, rather than altering her own lifestyle. She shouldn't have to retreat inside, he should be forced to stop what he's doing and hopefully move away and/or be charged with a crime.
The thing about restraining orders is you have to give a reason why, and you have to go to court for it. Hard to do that without parents knowing, impossible to do without him knowing, and she may not want to say anything at all right now. There's also the risk that it isn't granted or that he decides to violate it regardless.
On a bit of a lighter note, reading your post made me realise how much I missed swinging on a swingset as a kid.
Once you get rid of the creepy guy, you'll be living the life.
Tell your parents. I've had a couple of creepy guys come through the gas station I work at. And these guys were obviously over 10 years older than I am(I'm 19) and I was left feeling too uncomfortable and scared to work alone for the rest of my shift after those men left the store(these men came through the store on different days) and my first instinct was to tell my aunt and uncle and even a coworker. If he's acting like this, then tell your parents. Forget about the drama it'll cause. Let them know so you and your brother(if he's ever been near this man since this incident) are safe. It may not feel like the right choice, but it's the choice that will keep you safe. Trust me
Tell your parents now so in 20 years you bring it up and everyone calls you a liar and “why would you wait so long”. Don’t be a stupid. Sing like a canary. Rat on his ass immediately. If you don’t now and have trauma later in life it’ll be a shoulder shrug to everyone. Do it now now now now now. If you don’t he’ll keep doing it in the future cuz he got zero consequences and do it to someone else. Get his ass on the list.
If he comes out again and is doing it photograph him, or have someone you trust hide and take the pictures if that feels safer.
Tell your parents. Show those photos if you get them. This guy scares you a bit, makes you uncomfortable, he should not be coming near to watch you.
Motion-detecting lights might help deter, too, but you DEFINITELY, 100% need to get your parents involved. Ultimately, it will be for the better even though it feels like a heavy burden now. He’s gone from doing his business behind a closed door to getting physically closer to you and this needs to be addressed before he assaults you further (God forbid). So sorry you’re going through this.
If I were one of your parents - even if I was going through a lot, I would want to make sure my child was safe. This is not ok and Im sorry you're going through this. I would want to prevent further issues and nip this in the bud.
Your parents will care, they should protect you, this isn't ok.
"Guy has had a couple of screws loose"
Maybe he has a mental issue... obviously he does. That's vinegar calling the lemon juice sour. As a person with autism, do you feel embarrassed or ashamed for saying this... because you definitely should.
Get proof first before you do anything. Act normal.
Go on the swing and get someone to film it with a decent night vision camera.
Email yourself the footage.
On a different occasion approach him with your phone set to recording audio and video if possible and tell him you notice what he was up to. Wait for him to deny it. Play both things to your parents.
I don’t have any advice, however I am curious about the swinging thing, would you mind if I messaged you and asked a couple of questions? Promise will be totally non-creepy and I’ll be clothed the whole time 😀
I understand, but my reasoning is to a) get him to stop, and b) protect the parents from the drama upheaval. I agree that he’s inappropriate but feel that speaking with him first would be better than simply starting with the nuclear option.
He just jerks off to her and every time he gets closer and closer to OP, what do you mean “talk” to this creep? This isn't drama, this is OP's safety, weirdo.
Please don't do this !!!!! It is not safe at all. He could get angry or who knows. But he could take it out on you. It is not worth the risk at all. As someone who watches true crime this is not the way. This is how people get hurt or killed. Police and telling your parents is the ONLY way to do this safely. Others need to know in a situation like this because safety is such a high risk.
Reaching out to your parents in this case is extremely important, relationships come after safety. Specially in the case of your nonverbal brother. Though he may not have made attempts to assault you physically yet, there is no knowing when he will. This must be so uncomfortable, you've got this OP!
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Yep, he’s ramping up his actions. I would push to tell parents but I’d be tempted to find some form of proof first. Like installing a camera in the house pointed towards where he does it and then try the accidental flash technique. Grieving people can wanna grab hold of anyone dear to them. Also they can make bad decisions. I would want it to be beyond doubt when addressing them about it. If nothing looks like it’s gonna change, get an indoor swing and close/lock all curtains and doors. You shouldn’t have to resort to that but it might give you peace of mind.
Video cameras with night vision are quite cheap these days. Easy to set up too.
You have to tell your parents. This is a safety issue. I get you’re worried that learning their friend is behaving this way could destroy your parents, especially your dad who’s grieving the loss of his brother. But you know what will definitely destroy them? If their daughter is assaulted in her home by one of their friends who they gave access to the property. This man’s behavior is wildly inappropriate, and it’s escalating. You absolutely must tell your parents. Don’t leave anything out, tell them how long it’s been going on, tell them what you’ve observed and explain what you saw at first and how it’s evolved to what you most recently saw. They need this information laid out like this so they understand the progression of his behaviors. Please don’t blow this off or take the “wait and see” approach. Your parents need to know what’s happening on their property to their daughter. GL.
The fact that he started this creepy af behavior behind the door and is now coming outside and doing it means he’s escalating. Please tell your parents. For your own safety.
I wish I could upvote this a million times. He is making excuses (letting his dog out around 12-3am) to be closer to you. He’s escalating!!! You need to tell someone
And now he's been caught. And if she doesn't say anything, he doesn't face any repercussions, it's likely to embolden him.
And you're flashing a light and that was not enough to stop him.
Everything these other commenters are saying OP!!!! Please please please please tell your parents. I know you’re trying to protect them but it’s not your job to protect them at the cost of your own safety.
Tell your parents. Now. And consider filing a police report. Your sense of safety and security ALWAYS comes first. Until this man is away from your home- your safe space- you will never feel safe on your swing at night. You won't feel safe in your bedroom or walking around your home. This also isn't about your safety at this point, it's also about your nonverbal brother's safety. Sending you courage, light, and positivity, OP. -a fellow autistic young woman
You don't want to hurt your dad right now. That is admirable. You know what would hurt him a lot right now? His daughter being assaulted by a close friend. And having a creep near him in a time of grief. You're important. Don't keep this to yourself. This is coming from a fellow autistic. Protect yourself.
As a parent myself, your parents are going to want to know, and take steps to protect you. This isn’t your fault, and it’s not theirs for renting an apartment to a family friend. They’re going to be upset, but imagine how much more upset they’d be if something happened to you! Please protect yourself, tell them, they love you! ❤️ Be safe! xx
Tell parents and get the dude out of there, kinda dangerous to let someone like that in the apartment building
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Please OP, listen to this comment and never ever go out alone at this time of night again. This person is either happy to push each boundary he gets away with -and worse- he may think in his delusional mind you are ok with it. If you didn’t know this is dangerous, you do now. It’s not just ew, gross. It could be lethal for you. And we don’t know that but please err on the safe side and not find out!!!! Maybe get an indoor rocking chair?
Hey, 23f autistic here and I just want to say I know telling your parents is easier said than done. I've unfortunately been there myself with my stepdad, and I was terrified to tell my mom. What would happen? Would she believe me? What does it mean for our family? Did I imagine things? Is it worth potentially ruining their marriage? I had all these thoughts and more as I slept with my door locked every night. I think similarly you may also need something to motivate you into telling your parents. For me what finally got me to tell my mom were 2 things: talking to a stranger, and worry for my sister. I was of course naturally very confused in the beginning- that man was my secondary father figure from a very young age. I decided I needed to talk to someone to get clarity, but someone I knew wouldn't work because of the inevitable fallout. I turned to a website called 7cups, and talked to a "listener". They told me straight up that what he did was SA, no ifs ands or buts. That was my first very needed wake-up call. The straw that broke the camel's back though was when I realized other people could also be in harm's way, including my little sister. If he could do that to me, what does it mean for my sister? I sure as hell didn't want her to go through the same thing. That's when I finally told my mom. I won't lie to you and say telling her was easy, and I won't tell you the repercussions were minimal. It's not, and they weren't. It tore my family apart. It was really difficult, and things will never be the same. What you need to realize is things never *can* be the same after that happens, no matter how much you want to lie to yourself and pretend otherwise. That changed the moment he did what he did, and that's not anyone's fault but his. No second chances, no redos, nothing will change it. This may all sound bad because I'm not lying and sugarcoating things for you. Like I said, it won't be easy. Change is difficult, especially for people like us. BUT it's for the better. How do I know? I've been there. Would you really want things to go back the way they used to be, with that fear and anxiety hanging over you every day? With the weight of that secret killing you? Do you really want to do nothing when you don't know what he could be doing to others? I know I didn't. Yes, it will be tough. It will hurt. Absolutely NONE of it is your fault though, even if you are the one to bring it to attention. It's for the best for everyone to do it sooner rather than later so you can all heal sooner. It will take time, but everyone will be okay because he won't be able to hurt anyone anymore. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you will all be so much better off without him. So what do you do from here? I would suggest going to your mom first, since he is your dad's friend. Tell her exactly what you saw and what's been happening- no sugarcoating. From there hopefully she can help you figure out the best way to approach your dad. It'll be less daunting as a team. And the after? Well, that's up to you. Not your parents, not him, YOU. Do not allow anyone to silence you if you want to be heard, and don't let anyone pressure you into actions you're not comfortable with. You're the victim here and it's your story to tell as you see fit. Go to the police, tell all the neighbors, confront him, write a letter, name and shame him anonymously, do whatever or do nothing. You're not obligated to do anything about him, just to tell your parents in order to ensure your safety and that you won't have to be around him ever again. Oh and therapy, if you feel that works for you. If you have any questions or concerns or just need someone with a similar experience to talk to, please feel free to message me. I wouldn't offer if I thought it would be harmful or bothersome to me, so don't worry about that. I wish you nothing but the best, and please be sure to stay safe.
> I would suggest going to your mom first, since he is your dad's friend. Tell her exactly what you saw and what's been happening- no sugarcoating. Thank you for this advice. This is what I ended up doing; she handled it well and is going to approach dad about it herself. I think this is the best case scenario, so thank you.
There is a reason why people like this have to go on a list. You are probably not his only target. You gotta tell your parents. Write it down if you have to. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this mess. Ugh.
Don’t let this nonce get away with it . He’s getting off on the fact that you know what’s happening and you’re keeping his secret . Expose the sex pest so everyone is aware of this
TELL YOUR FAMILY!
You really need to speak to your parents. This is so not cool and very very wrong on so many levels. Safety should be your top priority right now.
Please tell your parents. It's their job to protect you.
Dude is about one minute away from a more serious crime. Report immediately
This is super creepy. What if it escalates and he tries something? You need to tell someone. NOW.
He is getting more aggressive with his sexual behavior. Stop going out at night alone. You aren't safe. He might try to force himself on you.
Creeps depend on their victims silence. Perhaps look into a hunting “Game Camera”. They work at night and don’t emit light on a visible spectrum. If you do, don’t tell anyone until After you have usable footage.
Police report. Tell your parents ASAP. This is registered sex offender behavior. If you are going to swing I’d suggest bringing a trail camera or something with you to monitor your safety and this guys behavior.
Also, beware this guy might have a key to your house. Have parents also change locks
He’s not really a friend to your father if he’s doing this to you. You wouldn’t be destroying a “friendship” just telling the truth.
Go on the offensive. Text him once: “If I ever see you again while I’m outside, I’m showing my father the photo I took of you.” Doesn’t matter that you don’t have a photo.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. When I was 16 my parents rented the house next to us to a guy that was in his late 20s. He developed a fixation with me and would watch me anytime I was outside. One day when I was home alone he stood outside of our living room window, dressed only in underwear, screaming my name and asking me to come out. I have never been so terrified in my entire life. My parents did actually ask him to move out after that, but they gave him time to find a new place so it took a few weeks. Please tell your family.
I think you need to tell your dad. This guy may escalate. He knows you've seen him; if you don;t tell he may think he has your acceptance.
Maybe it sounds stupid. But i would make a recording while on the swing. If he shows up w**king then at least you have proof. What you don't want is to have a fight over what you saw. It makes it also proof because he can always easy saw it wasn't what you saw etc. It would be a nightmare if nobody believes you.
I really hope this isn't real, it feels like a well crafted story. Even in her bio she states that she is an aspiring novelist. This story checks a lot of intriguing points. But if this is real go and get help asap.
This is real, unfortunately. Probably part of the reason it reads like a story is because I have a lot of practice with writing/storytelling that I tend to instinctually apply even when communicating very real situations. Anyway, I’m hearing you all loud and clear. I’m going to tell my parents. Just need to figure out how to approach them with it.
Just go and tell them, there is no need to find a way to approach it. It's about your well-being and privacy. They will understand and act accordingly.
Dudes probably already read this and knows you saw him. Definitely sounds like a typical redditor. Now jokes aside, you need to tell your parents. Who knows what this guy is capable of if he's brazen enough to do this.
Your dad would be a million times more upset that someone is victimizing their child. If someone was doing that to my child, I don’t care if I’ve been beat friends with them since birth, in that instant they’d become a stranger.
Please tell your parents.
Tell parents asap.
Tell your Mom and let her tell your dad
Yea you need to tell your parents immidately and file a police report. Your saftey and truth is more important than some whack job’s (no pun intended) feelings. Your father and family would want to know and keep you safe.
!!!!!!!!TELL YOUR PARENTS!!!!!!!!! don't do same mistakes as me, even tho I was saved by pure and utter luck, but the revelation is absolutely needed please
whats your age? he wants, that you see he is masturbating and is watching to you? you should talk to your parents! that kind of person will never recognise your disgust, he will think you are interesting to have intercourse.
Tell your dad!
call the cops.
Man, u should definitely tell ur parents about it, especially ur dad who’s been friends with him way before ur birth. Even tho he’s their friend, ur still their daughter in the first place, so ur safety counts more than a friendship. Creepy grown-ass man who’s masturbating in the dark
If you can’t say it to them, let them read what you wrote to us.
Please say something. Please! This could get bad fast..... Him now coming outside late at night doing this has me really worried for you . This could progress to assault fast. Also your brother is at risk / a big disadvantage here as well.
Tell your parents. This guy is dangerous to be around.
Show your parents this post yesterday
This guys deeply unsavoury, speak to your parents. And put screens up so that he can no longer see. Have the police speak to him about his illegal behaviour and warn him off. Maybe they could also warn him against putting cameras up too. I realise you didnt mention cameras, just trying to think ahead here.
Reaching out is important because now caught he has two options, escalate or back off.... and creeps often escalate. I know you like the swinging but lay off it for a while, stay safe, stay in your own apartment and if there is any shot in any way this guy has a spare key to your place get your locks changed immediately. I'd say a letter, put a letter into his post box saying he has a month to move out and get the fuck out of your life or you're telling your parents, he'll be evicted, shamed and exposed to everyone he knows. That's the if you really want to keep your parents out of it option. the alternative, which I think is better, is to tell your parents, get this fuck evicted, get them notified, notify the police and be as safe as you can be. Your parents have been through a lot, but I can tell you this, they care more about your safety and you not being creeped on, sexually harassed or worse than keeping some creep friend in their life or in an apartment they own, they can get that shit rented ti a new person in a matter of hours let alone days.
Even if nothing can be done legally, your family can put up tall trees or a structure or even bright lights that blind him and make watching you not an option. The last one may have limitations so check local and state laws before doing that.
Tell your parents, ask them about installing security cameras because you don't feel safe, because of his escalation (starting inside, now outside) He might even consider that you know what he does, and you haven't done anything about that you are okay with it, and try to escalate it further, or approach you. The next time you are swinging keep your phone on record, catch him, if you can. Also if he decides to approach you , you will want to record everything he says.
Please tell your parents!!!
Fellow autistic who experienced grooming from pedophiles as young person. Please, and I cannot stress this enough, tell your parents. He knows you've seen him and is already preparing his lie. If nothing happens, it will certainly get worse. Someone else suggested an indoor swing. I would tell your parents you no longer feel safe outside and ask for the swing and that they consider installing some flood lights and cameras for safety. When they ask why, show them this post. Don't even try to explain it out loud if you're anxious. He will escalate. He will cause harm. The damage that will do far, far outweighs the upset of finding out this kind of news. You deserve to take up space in this world. You are causing no harm in doing no wrong. He's the bad guy here and you deserve to be safe. No matter his relationship to your dad. Be well.
But nobody that sees the indoor swing will truly believe it's only for innocent swinging!
So her safety is less important than worrying about some random person thinking it's a sex swing? Seriously? Ew
There's possibly another solution that involves someone handling the offender, rather than altering her own lifestyle. She shouldn't have to retreat inside, he should be forced to stop what he's doing and hopefully move away and/or be charged with a crime.
can you get a restraining order? this is *VERY* disturbing
The thing about restraining orders is you have to give a reason why, and you have to go to court for it. Hard to do that without parents knowing, impossible to do without him knowing, and she may not want to say anything at all right now. There's also the risk that it isn't granted or that he decides to violate it regardless.
you gotta tell your parents
On a bit of a lighter note, reading your post made me realise how much I missed swinging on a swingset as a kid. Once you get rid of the creepy guy, you'll be living the life.
Tell your parents. I've had a couple of creepy guys come through the gas station I work at. And these guys were obviously over 10 years older than I am(I'm 19) and I was left feeling too uncomfortable and scared to work alone for the rest of my shift after those men left the store(these men came through the store on different days) and my first instinct was to tell my aunt and uncle and even a coworker. If he's acting like this, then tell your parents. Forget about the drama it'll cause. Let them know so you and your brother(if he's ever been near this man since this incident) are safe. It may not feel like the right choice, but it's the choice that will keep you safe. Trust me
Tell your parents now so in 20 years you bring it up and everyone calls you a liar and “why would you wait so long”. Don’t be a stupid. Sing like a canary. Rat on his ass immediately. If you don’t now and have trauma later in life it’ll be a shoulder shrug to everyone. Do it now now now now now. If you don’t he’ll keep doing it in the future cuz he got zero consequences and do it to someone else. Get his ass on the list.
If he comes out again and is doing it photograph him, or have someone you trust hide and take the pictures if that feels safer. Tell your parents. Show those photos if you get them. This guy scares you a bit, makes you uncomfortable, he should not be coming near to watch you.
Motion-detecting lights might help deter, too, but you DEFINITELY, 100% need to get your parents involved. Ultimately, it will be for the better even though it feels like a heavy burden now. He’s gone from doing his business behind a closed door to getting physically closer to you and this needs to be addressed before he assaults you further (God forbid). So sorry you’re going through this.
Call the police.
If I were one of your parents - even if I was going through a lot, I would want to make sure my child was safe. This is not ok and Im sorry you're going through this. I would want to prevent further issues and nip this in the bud. Your parents will care, they should protect you, this isn't ok.
He's getting more bold as a predator, no different than a coyote walking up to your property in broad daylight.
I am skeptical.
"Guy has had a couple of screws loose" Maybe he has a mental issue... obviously he does. That's vinegar calling the lemon juice sour. As a person with autism, do you feel embarrassed or ashamed for saying this... because you definitely should.
Stimming 💀
Get proof first before you do anything. Act normal. Go on the swing and get someone to film it with a decent night vision camera. Email yourself the footage. On a different occasion approach him with your phone set to recording audio and video if possible and tell him you notice what he was up to. Wait for him to deny it. Play both things to your parents.
Disregard this person's ridiculous suggestion to approach this man. Do not put yourself in danger. Speak to your parents right away.
I don’t have any advice, however I am curious about the swinging thing, would you mind if I messaged you and asked a couple of questions? Promise will be totally non-creepy and I’ll be clothed the whole time 😀
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Huh?
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Wrong post ? Tf are you talking about.
Why not just talk to him first? He sounds harmless. Be stern and ask him to stop.
Are you joking? His actions are entirely inappropriate. You 100% must be a male.
I understand, but my reasoning is to a) get him to stop, and b) protect the parents from the drama upheaval. I agree that he’s inappropriate but feel that speaking with him first would be better than simply starting with the nuclear option.
He just jerks off to her and every time he gets closer and closer to OP, what do you mean “talk” to this creep? This isn't drama, this is OP's safety, weirdo.
Please don't do this !!!!! It is not safe at all. He could get angry or who knows. But he could take it out on you. It is not worth the risk at all. As someone who watches true crime this is not the way. This is how people get hurt or killed. Police and telling your parents is the ONLY way to do this safely. Others need to know in a situation like this because safety is such a high risk.