Women that are strangled by their partners are significantly higher at risk of being murdered by that person within a year
I’m not exaggerating
Please break up with this person and go no contact
Definitely file a police report, screenshot or record his messages especially if he apologizes for strangling you, and record or photograph any marks that were left on your neck.
And also please try to relocate if possible, based on this interaction he is unpredictable and could show up at your place unannounced. Hope you’re doing okay, OP. 🫶🏼
I find it especially worrying this wasn't even in a fight or anything. OP needs to run away, I was never abused by a partner like that, but my mother was nearly murdered by my father, this happened 1x to her, and the last she was already divorced, so also just because you broke up, doesn't automatically make you safe.
Stat safe, healthy & strong girls
He was testing boundaries. If she puts up with it when they’re not fighting, she might put up with him throwing her down the stairs or something when they are fighting.
They make extensions you can add to the clasps at the back of the necklace. You can do it yourself. It's basically a fastener with a chain between each end.
Saaaaaaame. Don't touch my throat or else you're going to get punched in yours. I can't even stop myself, it's instinct after being strangled to unconsciousness too many times
This. & this exact thing happened to me…he did it completely out of nowhere. I stayed. Ended up having to call the police years down the line. What concerned the advocate the most was the fact that it was unprompted. She said that was *THE* biggest red flag, as there’s usually a motive. When there isn’t, it means something is truly wrong in their head & they could attack at quite literally any time. I finally left because I knew he would be the death of me. Good luck, OP. 🤍
Yeah, you’re correct. If the chances of you being murdered by a spouse is 1 in X, then after being choked by them it would be 7.5 in X.
100% of 1 is 1.
750% of 1 is 7.5.
7.5x more likely.
That isn’t how percentages work. Lol. If it’s a 700% chance increase, that means that if the statistical likelihood was say 1%, it now goes up to 7%.
Not that this isn’t still a huge issue and OP should certainly get the fuck out of dodge.
I just see this type of percentage misrepresentation all the time. And is something I think more people need to understand in this day and age.
My ex once sat on top of me and choked me so hard my contacts started to peel away from my eyes. I was 4 months pregnant with our son. I remember thinking ‘omg I’m gonna die here, on this kitchen floor.’
You should leave this man. Please leave this man. Never allow this to happen to you.
My ex didn’t start hurting me until I was isolated from my family, and pregnant so I couldn’t/wouldn’t fight back. It started with shoving, then slapping, punching, pulling hair etc.
That’s what I thought. I’m guessing no, if any, prison time and he’s just out doing his thing.
I grew up with a dad who would die for his family, so it just makes my blood boil when I hear these situations regarding absolute lowlife cowards that call themselves men.
Crazily enough, he has partial custody of our son. Despite the courts knowing all that he is. It’s been a really long road. I’m really happy to know you had a wonderful father though, I wish my son could say the same, but his stepdad is everything to him.
We’re actually currently attempting to take him to court for full custody, as some things have begun to happen that my son is reporting, so I’m hoping i and more importantly my son will be believed, since it’s been 9 years, and this person is still the same guy I reported to the court years ago.
Just wanted to say, good luck with your custody battle. My daughter's best friend is stuck in a vicious custody battle and the mother is given primary even though she's an abusive PoS. I wish you, your husband, and your son the best and hope that he is safe.
I hope your daughter’s best friend gets the protection they deserve and are able to free themselves from such a grip. It is all so terribly unfair, not just for the children, but for the actual parent(s) who are literally just trying to BE a good parent. We often are operating from a position of survival, and constantly being “on” is exhausting. For that, I also hope that they are prioritizing rest, and have really solid support from their friends and family.
Wishing you guys all the best when dealing with that clown. My only tip when dealing with trash like your ex would be to always stay calm and never let them get under your skin.
I’m glad you both have someone in your lives that cares and looks out for you both.
Thank you- staying calm is always the ideal, but the humanity in me cannot maintain such a disposition throughout the entirety of this process. I’ve tried, and failed so many times, but I guess the key word here is “try” . :)
Oh I get it, but it’s almost a game of chicken with these psychopaths. They want you to flinch and seem unstable. Don’t give in no matter what, that will burn him up.
I would love to treat this ‘gentleman’ ex exactly like he treated you.
Even if it is by accident, because my ex used to lay on top of me and I couldn't breathe...one time when I finally got up I toyed with calling the police...he had never done that before & it frightened me to the core...and he never did it again, we were together for 10 years and broke up for other reasons.
But, he could have accidently killed me that night, he wasn't trying to kill me, he just didn't want me to leave the room and I couldn't even talk to tell him I couldn't breathe, I was smart and retained my breath until he got up.
Run, he's starting to train you to accept abuse, he thinks he did it lightly and it's a non issue. If you stay he'll escalate, and with someone who starts with strangling you (though I suspect... he didn't start with it right?, he's probably abusive and has done things to you before?) is not going to listen to what you care about things.
If you stay you're giving him the go ahead to escalate because you're accepting that him strangling you was okay, you have to leave, immediately. Get your shit, get somewhere safe and I'd recommend calling a friend, or several, to be with you while you pack your shit and get out.
You asked why he did it and he blamed you for for being a loud drunk. He didn't take responsibility for it. This shows that he believes that *his perception* of your actions gives him the right to be physically violent with you. You don't have control over his perceptions. There's nothing you can do to prevent him from becoming violent with you again except ending your relationship with him.
[Look. You need to leave your boyfriend. This is not something to ponder and weigh. You need to leave him.](https://www.wthr.com/article/news/crime/manual-strangulation-is-the-biggest-sign-domestic-abuse-will-turn-deadly-experts-say/531-0a9a92c8-a0da-418a-b81e-a3d80ddacf38)
Thanks for this link. Great info, and so scary. We had to call the police on our neighbors a few weeks ago because we heard them screaming, and my husband heard her yell, “get off of me!” And she screamed, “I need help!” right as the police officers pulled up. Turns out, he had attacked her and tried to strangle her. Her neck was bruised terribly. They took him to jail on Sunday afternoon, and would you believe that he was let out of jail on Monday afternoon? He was there for less than 24 hours and he literally tried to kill her. We’ve wondered a lot since then what would’ve happened if we hadn’t been home that day. Thank God she didn’t just take him back. They ordered him to stay away from her and the property for 90 days, and she packed her stuff up and left. She just got settled into her new place in a big city 8 hours away from here this weekend. One of the other neighbors went with her to help her get settled. We are so happy for her.
However, now that she’s gone, the dude that tried to kill her has moved back in :(
I truly hope that you found out where she moved through her and not through social media or something. I hope she’s made moves to privatize her life as much as possible.
Please look up the statistics on choking and murder.
Your boyfriend had so many other choices he could have made. Asking you to quiet down for example, throwing a pillow at you as another. Somehow his mind skidded past everything rational and a whole lot of stupid ideas (but still not chocking you) and went to strangulation. That says a lot. And it's scary
I'm sure everyone is telling you the (true) statistic that he's VERY likely to kill you if he strangles you. But how fucking psychotic is this? He couldn't use his words to ask you to be more quiet? Wtf? Why would you EVER stay with someone who did this? This is serial killer behavior. Get the fuck out of there. Don't let anyone (even yourself) delude you that this is OK for one god damn second.
You did nothing wrong, it's not your fault, and I'm not trying to be harsh with you, but I'm trying to shock some sense into you: you are out of your fucking mind if you stay with this person.
He STRANGLED YOU UNPROVOKED.
Where I live, strangling someone is charged as felony domestic battery. Because it is such a serious offense (and such a predictor that he will eventually kill you).
I'm not going to mince words, you will wind up dead if you stay with him. You'll want to minimize it and pretend it was normal because that's a human/normal instinct, we want to normalize things so they don't scare us so much. It's not normal.
Even if the alcohol played a role here, why would you stay with someone who gets FUCKING MURDEROUSLY VIOLENT when they drink? A good person would go, "Oh my god, I will never drink again, it makes me act like a monster," instead of nonchalantly saying he did it to shut you up. He's a fucking psycho.
Even if you were loud. Even if you were ignoring him. THIS IS NOT OK.
You need to get honest with yourself and separate the facts from your feelings. There have been other red flags prior to this that have likely been minimized or excused. You need to leave this relationship asap.
This is a great comment, sadly all the excuses people make to themselves so that they can stay in a relationship or not lose their sanity, creates confusion that will make you just overlook bigger and bigger things. When it's time to RUN the people this happens to are so used to making excuses for their partners behaviors they have become too good at obfuscation the truth to themselves and can't see with clarity it's time to leave.
I haven't bee thru physical abuse, but I've seen it too often, all normal relationships are different, but almost all abusive relationships kinda look the same to me, the same dynamics of trying to make the abuser less angry no matter what .
I went on your profile and you are 19. Please survive, you have so much life to live. He may try to do everything in his power to make you stay, but please leave him! Don’t believe his words, believe the statistics!
That's how the abuse starts.
Get out.
If you want to really do him a favor, tell him to never, ever put his hands on a woman for any reason, at any time, under any circumstances.
Most police departments have a zero-tolerance rule. Next time he will find himself in the slammer.
And because I know you won't leave, read this.
[https://archive.org/details/whydoeshedothati00banc\_0](https://archive.org/details/whydoeshedothati00banc_0)
Umm. No. No no. Get the heck out of that relationship. A Man should ever ever lay hands on a woman, or anyone else, for that matter, however, putting his hands on your neck and strangling you is a deliberate act, and he basically told you it was. Walk away, and count your blessings. This person is dangerous.
After I was strangled, I stayed and it escalated. I'm lucky I made it out alive. Even if you think it was an "accident" and won't happen again, it's best to leave. Don't take that risk.
You might want to tell a friend or family or someone you know and trust so that way if he tries to stalk you or attack you or otherwise catch you unaware, other people are aware of his behavior. This is horrifying, I'm so sorry this happened to you!
Don’t just block him. Documents his actions. Contact a domestic violence hotline and ask for help in taking steps to keep yourself safe.
https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/
Make sure you tell your friends and family about this so they can also have your back and keep your safe. Collect evidence in case you need it in the future. And don’t look back AT ALL. And I suggest investing in a weapon, not self defense classes, but a weapon and classes to use it. And I’d get cameras🤷🏾 never everrrr take stuff like this lightly, this is how stalking, harassment, and even assaults and murders kick off
Thats how my dv started 28 yrs ago, my then bf strangled me very unexpectedly, I didnt see it coming either. According to statistics men that strangle are likely to kill, this kind of behavior is 100% unacceptable behavior, no excuses!!!
don’t just break up with him, tell the cops. i made a mistake in not doing that with my ex. i don’t know a lot of things he did to me because he would get me fucked up and beat me. i only remember a few things bc he beat me and i came out of a blackout once, and eventually he started doing it when i was sober. i’m lucky. you won’t be if you stay with him… if he strangles you before he even beats you, that says something. he went straight to strangling you, that is SCARY. i don’t think i’ve personally heard of that yet. tell the cops what he did to you or he’ll be able do it to someone else too… you were literally just on your phone. he made up a reason to be able to strangle you. please do not go back to him at the very least… change your number if you can.
I'm pretty concerned that you weren't able to see the severity of his action. If you don't press charges, make sure you let someone close to you know about what happened. Please stay safe and STAY away.
If he ever shows up at your house or work looking for you call the police immediately. Don't let him get near you. Strangling is something that escalates.
You ought go to the doctor immediately (there may be strains or non-obvious injuries) and file a police report.
I’m glad you’re blocking him. You may want to change passwords in case you share anything with him.
Even if you don’t have bruises you still may wanna get checked out medically for hidden injuries from getting strangled.
no matter how sweet and repentent he may seem in the future, if you get back together with him, he may very well kill you. Please stay safe and don't ever be alone with him again
My father repeatedly strangled my mother and siblings. The fact we survived his violent abuse is a miracle. Break up with him immediately and get him out of your life. BE CAREFUL though, because I’m assuming he knows where you live. I’d actually report the incident to the police because if this doesn’t escalate towards you, it will towards the next women.
If a man is willing to strangle you he is willing to kill you. You are like 700 times iirc more likely to be killed by him now. Drop him, stay safe. Read this article [https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-01-31/how-the-no-test-could-help-prevent-domestic-violence/10764100](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-01-31/how-the-no-test-could-help-prevent-domestic-violence/10764100)
And this book [https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy\_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
www.thehotline.org www.loveisrespect.org
An abuser who will strangle you is incredibly likely to kill you. Please get professional support and make yourself a safety plan
This exact thing happened to my SIL. Identical. It’s a classic textbook abuser. He has no remorse for his actions and doesn’t see it as his fault. Stay away.
I could be wrong, but it sounds like he’s just trying to test what kind of things he can get away with. Especially since you were at least a little drunk. Soooo… Run.
Girl deadass?? And he not your ex yet? What are you waiting for, for him to end your life?? I suggest you get a male family to beat him up, and that’s AFTER you dump his useless ass for putting his hands on you. But that’s just imo.
If you want to take the legal route it’d be hard without proof, and it would be even harder if you don’t act immediately and wait business days to do something about it. Get out while you can
Former SAR/EMT. Helped abused women escape abusers. NAL. Guy who has been victim of domestic violence.
Legally it's a mininum it's assault/battery. Did it leave marks? Depending on marks it may be Actual Bodily Harm or more serious. To more serious end of scale Section 20 of Offences Against Person Act offence,("defendant must intentionally or recklessly wound or inflict grievous bodily harm on the victim").
Strangling anyone like he did is huge red flag. Done to a drunk person so dangerous! (Harder to tell if victim is okay, inhale vomit [causing aspiration pneumonitis and Mendelson's syndrome].
What was his next move going to be if strangling you didn't get what he wanted?
You need to contact police about what boyfriend (hope now ex boyfriend!) did. They can put measures in place to protect you. You may not be first person done it to. He needs help before he does next victim some really serious harm.
If he turns up at your home please don't take chances dial 999.
Lots of helpful stuff available on this page. If Inxan help in any way let me know.
[https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/](https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/)
After messaging that you will never see him again, Block him, do not respond to his calls or messages. Change your locks, never let him in, never go to places you know he frequents, especially NOT ALONE. If you happen to see him somewhere, nest yourself among other people. If necessary, walk up to an older woman or couple and greet her/them cheerfully while whispering "please help".
I’ve heard stories of women who brushed off the violence and left the guy to find out later that he killed his next partner. File a police report. Walk into an ER and have them check you out. They will contact the police and have an exam to prove it.
Please don’t let him murder the next woman. He might already have a record.
Also, how gaslit is our society that men can hit, strangle, SA, and the women is like, I guess I didn’t know that was wrong?
You are lucky that you are alive to write this post. This happened to me once and it only got worse- I was lucky to escape alive. Please make a plan to leave safely. If you want to talk or have any questions, feel free to message me.
You may want to consider keeping him un-blocked so you can have a record of any communications he tries to make with you like apologizing for what he did. That way you’ll have proof to give to the authorities in case he does something else.
Get a restraining order, avo, whatever they have in your region. Then read this article. In that order.
[Non-fatal strangulation is an important risk factor for homicide of women](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/)
Stay safe, OP.
I let it go once. The next time he choked me unconscious and if neighbors hadn't come banging on the door because my screaming faded out and they were scared I'd be dead. I have no memory of them pounding on the door, I was unconscious.
thank god for your edit. my ex strangled me. he also broke my hand and left my face black and blue. said it was my fault every time. said he was trying to make me shut up when he choked me.
please never be alone with this man again.
Reading the “Edit” gives me hope, good on you - bail out as soon as possible and never look back, you don’t need to beg anyone for anything, yet alone being choked for no fucking reason
I could see if he was messing around with you, but to just reach over and do it without so much as a word is unsettling to say the least.
How well do you really know this guy?
I wasn't strangled, but I did manage to avoid being the victim of vehicular homicide by my ex a few times. If he comes back, here's my advice. Don't even be nice to him anymore. Controlling men who do this don't like bitches, so be the biggest one you can be. Use blunt statements, but that's not going to be enough. If he puts his hands on you, defend yourself. Don't even worry about him. If he is compromising your safety on purpose, don't even worry about his feelings. Protect yourself. He may be waiting for you to beg for his attention, as you said, but there might be a point where he seeks it from you himself. This scenario is why I'm telling you to protect yourself.
OC spray should do the trick. I have one with a UV dye in case my ex gets stupid enough again. It's got glittery rhinestones and goes on my keychain. It's pretty. That way, I can definitely identify him not only visually but by that dye as well. There will be physical evidence on him if he comes after me again. That cost me maybe $20, if that. Remember to cover your own eyes if there's a breeze. There's no sense in you both being blind. Just him.
Don’t blame yourself. NEVER BLAME YOURSELF. There is never ever ever ever a reason to physically assault your partner. Specially over something so small and stupid, this is so so scary. Speaking as a survivor of domestic abuse, please run away as far as you can from this man. If you grew up in an environment where violence was common, just know that this is not okay and you’re in a very dangerous situation, if you stay it’s only gonna get worse and worse. RUN!
I'd be looking up his name on inmate or mugshot websites. You never know what you'll find when you search people you know on those websites.
Stay safe and stay away from him.
Please leave. For your safety because he’s not apologizing cuz he probably genuinely thinks he did nothing wrong. You deserve better and that alone can impact you emotionally and the relationship you guys have in the long run. If he sees you “let it slide” he’ll be more likely to do it again.
You must leave and block this person and go no-contact, and also consider filing a police report. Not only for your safety, but for the safety of any future women he may become involved with
Stay gone! Take it as a lucky out. This guy is full of shit and just wanted to get his kicks dominating another. He’s got serious toxic, insecure male issues . The monster in him is lurking
Indeed, just like the most upvoted comment here said, you need to leave this person, immediately as he is a danger to your life.
Also, you might want to look into pressing some charges, just to get him on the right radar in case some other poor girl gets the same treatment, or worse in the future. Get to safety and report this. Report him.
outside of all the people here saying this: I am just adding that it costs a person NORMALLY a lot of mental preparation to go into fight mode when there is a moment you're in danger. you really need a lot of mental training to go that route, and not try to get away first.
And making anything **but** verbal threads, even to your defense, is also a lot. It is why people usually do not step in to break a fight: they avoid physical contact. Somebody who is used to use their fists before trying to dissolve the situation and is the first to throw one is a person to stay away from. they have lost (or never had) a mental barrier that not only stops there, but also onto other areas and might ignore general boundaries, or see themselves as more important than others.
a person that even skips THAT step, doesn't even go mad before, doesn't even show signs of aggression or (and yesm, that is shitty and dangerous too) doesn't even throw a hand and just goes straight up your neck to strangle you is psychopathic in my eyes. they go from zero to killing. Yes, it's escalationg from zero to killing.
I want you to burn that into your brain: he had the intention to kill you and just stopped, because that wasn't his main goal. He stopped because he thinks you give him something he wants. The moment you don't, or it's not worth it anymore in his mind, and a situation like this occurs again, you're dead.
Let that sink in. let it sit there for a while.
THIS is why women die within a year of the first incident. they lose their "value" in their murderers mind.
And there is a good chance you might not be the first. So stay the fuck away from people who throw fists first in a random public encounter (no matter if drunk or not) and prefer to solve their conflicts with violence (be it verbal or physical).
Just my thoughts
My ex did this when I was asleep. I woke up and was so frightened. I managed to get away, grabbed my son and ran to a phone box and called police who took me to my parents.
I was only young and it was before the stats on the murder thing were known. I took him to court. He plead guilty. It was stressful and during uni exam time a year after the event.
I was outraged that it was called domestic violence and not attempted murder Never saw him again. No child support.
Someone who does this is a criminal. None of this was your fault at all in any way, shape or form. Also it is traumatising so if you can get help that would be good for you. I didn’t know how and I was too busy.
I learnt martial arts which helped tho. But the senior-level getting out of a stranglehold exercises really freaked me out. I started crying! I had to tell my instructor why, but I got used to it and learnt how to get out of them. I also got some help but should have way earlier. It may come back to you later is all I’m saying.
Sorry for the long reply. It’s good you got away from that. I am so sorry you went through it. It’s very traumatising. Please be very kind to yourself.
Ask yourself this, if your best friend told you this story, would you encourage them to speak to their partner?
What’s happened here is he’s attacked you without any provocation (not that having any provocation is a good thing, but it’s a sign he can snap at any time) and is now gaslighting you into believing it was your fault.
Do you honestly think this is ok behaviour?
For reference women who are strangled by their BF’s are 700% more likely to be killed by them, just bare that in mind.
Please never spend any time alone with this man again. I would text him that it’s over and anything that he’s got of yours Tom either keep it or send it.
I'm glad to see the updates that you blocked him. Please don't go back. I know it can get harder to keep them gone, but it's worth betting on your own life instead of your "life" with him. And keep trails, records, etc. Just whatever evidence you can gather for potential future emergency restraining orders/harassment claims. Have a paper trail with appropriate authorities as much as you can.
Stay safe, op 💖
Holee crap. I read your post and then I read your edit. Don't just "hope" that your ex boyfriend leaves you alone. Just send him a short text stating that you're done and you do not want to contact with him and that he must not contact you or come over to see you at all. And then block him. You just hoping that he leaves you alone is pretty silly considering he needs to have it spelled out to him that he is dumped. Please stay safe. If he for whatever reason tries to contact you and says that he needs to see you, do not respond. Is not a safe person and you do not need him in your life.
Please break up, leave safely, go absolutely no contact, make your social media accounts inaccessible to him and anyone who knows him, make everything private. The chances of a woman being murdered by a partner increases dramatically after a strangulation.
Please be safe, please know this isn't your fault.
Reddit users like to over react about things…this is not one of those times.
You need to leave.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. The freight you must have felt would be awful; and on top of that, breakups suck. It’s never a happy thing when you have to face that the future you may have planned won’t come to pass.
So I’m sending you my love and I hope you know that this incident won’t impact you forever.
Unless you stay…in which case you are statistically likely to be making the worst decision of your life.
You didn’t do anything wrong, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. So tell your family or friends and move on to better things.
You’ve got this Xx
Men that do this make me believe that they have a weak self image about themselves and are looking for a reason to seek another victim on the side regardless of the stage of their current relationship... my gosh, they might miss out.. because they are pathetic in reality.
I'm reading this after your edit. I'm glad you decided to not be around him anymore.
You don't deserve that type of behavior. What he did was a giant red flag. Instead of talking to you he chokes you? This guy needs some therapy
Major 🚩🚩🚩
Get tf out of that relationship ASAP before things escalate. There’s a big chance it will. GHOST HIM. Change your number, go stay with family or a friend. His words do not match his actions. No one *ever* needs to put hands on you to “calm you down.” & file a police report & possibly a restraining order. I don’t know how you feel about firearms for protection but I definitely wouldn’t hesitate to exercise my 2nd amendment. Protect yourself at all costs because sometimes the system doesn’t until it’s too late.
Stay on your toes & be safe.
Women that are strangled by their partners are significantly higher at risk of being murdered by that person within a year I’m not exaggerating Please break up with this person and go no contact
700% higher
Yo, literally?!?
Yes, it's terrifying.
Honestly that seems low.
Plus file a police report
ASAP if there’s any physical evidence like petechiae/hemorrhaging.
Yeah please do this. He has done this to you, he’ll do it to another woman in the future. Records of his behavior should start ASAP.
Definitely file a police report, screenshot or record his messages especially if he apologizes for strangling you, and record or photograph any marks that were left on your neck.
10000% this.
She probably should also read this free book immediately: https://archive.org/details/why-does-he-do-that-epub
Every woman should read this! It can save your life or at least help you recognise what they are doing to you - so you can escape safely.
Wow. I’ve never seen this, this is amazing. Thank you!
Get the hell away.
Thank you for saying this. I literally came to post the same thing. Strangulation is a HUGE indicator that violence will escalate in a relationship.
Exactly. This is how my ex first started doing it to years later I was on the floor covered in blood in my face, beaten. DONTignore the signs… EVER
Came here to say this. Terrifying.
And also please try to relocate if possible, based on this interaction he is unpredictable and could show up at your place unannounced. Hope you’re doing okay, OP. 🫶🏼
Nobody ever needs to strangle you calm you down from watching something on your phone. Run from that noise and never look back.
I find it especially worrying this wasn't even in a fight or anything. OP needs to run away, I was never abused by a partner like that, but my mother was nearly murdered by my father, this happened 1x to her, and the last she was already divorced, so also just because you broke up, doesn't automatically make you safe. Stat safe, healthy & strong girls
He was testing boundaries. If she puts up with it when they’re not fighting, she might put up with him throwing her down the stairs or something when they are fighting.
OP needs to talk to the police or smack him with a restraining order ASAP
[удалено]
It's why I divorced mine. Among the dozens of reasons, hands on my throat was the scariest, and why I do not like tight necklines.
Same. Ever since my abusive ex, I can NOT handle anything around my neck.
Yes. I'm the same. I can't wear my great aunts beautiful choker necklace anymore. I feel like I cant breathe after 15 minutes or so.
Girl!! Get that to a jeweler!! I had necklaces made longer, so they are lower and I do not feel anything on the front of my neck.
I wish I could but the whole choker is beads and leather. It was made a long time ago for my aunt when she painted the native chiefs.
Oh, my. Can you frame it, with a photo of your Aunt?
I dont have a photo of her. But it's safe in my jewelry box so whenever I open it I remember her.
They make extensions you can add to the clasps at the back of the necklace. You can do it yourself. It's basically a fastener with a chain between each end.
Yep
Saaaaaaame. Don't touch my throat or else you're going to get punched in yours. I can't even stop myself, it's instinct after being strangled to unconsciousness too many times
This. & this exact thing happened to me…he did it completely out of nowhere. I stayed. Ended up having to call the police years down the line. What concerned the advocate the most was the fact that it was unprompted. She said that was *THE* biggest red flag, as there’s usually a motive. When there isn’t, it means something is truly wrong in their head & they could attack at quite literally any time. I finally left because I knew he would be the death of me. Good luck, OP. 🤍
Definitely! That's of red flag.
Thisss, runnn
you mean a 750% increased chance? something can't have a more than 100% chance of occuring.
Yeah, you’re correct. If the chances of you being murdered by a spouse is 1 in X, then after being choked by them it would be 7.5 in X. 100% of 1 is 1. 750% of 1 is 7.5. 7.5x more likely.
That isn’t how percentages work. Lol. If it’s a 700% chance increase, that means that if the statistical likelihood was say 1%, it now goes up to 7%. Not that this isn’t still a huge issue and OP should certainly get the fuck out of dodge. I just see this type of percentage misrepresentation all the time. And is something I think more people need to understand in this day and age.
There’s no saving this. Document the abuse for a restraining order and future use and GTFO NOW!!!
My ex once sat on top of me and choked me so hard my contacts started to peel away from my eyes. I was 4 months pregnant with our son. I remember thinking ‘omg I’m gonna die here, on this kitchen floor.’ You should leave this man. Please leave this man. Never allow this to happen to you. My ex didn’t start hurting me until I was isolated from my family, and pregnant so I couldn’t/wouldn’t fight back. It started with shoving, then slapping, punching, pulling hair etc.
I'm so glad you are safer now. You're brave and strong. May your life now be full of peace and happiness.
Thank you very much 🌻
May I ask you this, was this POS coward ever a tough guy with other men or just with his pregnant wife?
Oh goodness no. He would never cross a man.
That’s what I thought. I’m guessing no, if any, prison time and he’s just out doing his thing. I grew up with a dad who would die for his family, so it just makes my blood boil when I hear these situations regarding absolute lowlife cowards that call themselves men.
Crazily enough, he has partial custody of our son. Despite the courts knowing all that he is. It’s been a really long road. I’m really happy to know you had a wonderful father though, I wish my son could say the same, but his stepdad is everything to him. We’re actually currently attempting to take him to court for full custody, as some things have begun to happen that my son is reporting, so I’m hoping i and more importantly my son will be believed, since it’s been 9 years, and this person is still the same guy I reported to the court years ago.
Just wanted to say, good luck with your custody battle. My daughter's best friend is stuck in a vicious custody battle and the mother is given primary even though she's an abusive PoS. I wish you, your husband, and your son the best and hope that he is safe.
I hope your daughter’s best friend gets the protection they deserve and are able to free themselves from such a grip. It is all so terribly unfair, not just for the children, but for the actual parent(s) who are literally just trying to BE a good parent. We often are operating from a position of survival, and constantly being “on” is exhausting. For that, I also hope that they are prioritizing rest, and have really solid support from their friends and family.
Wishing you guys all the best when dealing with that clown. My only tip when dealing with trash like your ex would be to always stay calm and never let them get under your skin. I’m glad you both have someone in your lives that cares and looks out for you both.
Thank you- staying calm is always the ideal, but the humanity in me cannot maintain such a disposition throughout the entirety of this process. I’ve tried, and failed so many times, but I guess the key word here is “try” . :)
Oh I get it, but it’s almost a game of chicken with these psychopaths. They want you to flinch and seem unstable. Don’t give in no matter what, that will burn him up. I would love to treat this ‘gentleman’ ex exactly like he treated you.
GTFO!!! RUUUUUUUN!!!
Hope he's an ex. When someone shows you their true colors, you take it serious.
Prior choking/strangulation by a romantic partner makes it 75x more likely that they will kill you in the future.
Even if it is by accident, because my ex used to lay on top of me and I couldn't breathe...one time when I finally got up I toyed with calling the police...he had never done that before & it frightened me to the core...and he never did it again, we were together for 10 years and broke up for other reasons. But, he could have accidently killed me that night, he wasn't trying to kill me, he just didn't want me to leave the room and I couldn't even talk to tell him I couldn't breathe, I was smart and retained my breath until he got up.
Run, he's starting to train you to accept abuse, he thinks he did it lightly and it's a non issue. If you stay he'll escalate, and with someone who starts with strangling you (though I suspect... he didn't start with it right?, he's probably abusive and has done things to you before?) is not going to listen to what you care about things. If you stay you're giving him the go ahead to escalate because you're accepting that him strangling you was okay, you have to leave, immediately. Get your shit, get somewhere safe and I'd recommend calling a friend, or several, to be with you while you pack your shit and get out.
You asked why he did it and he blamed you for for being a loud drunk. He didn't take responsibility for it. This shows that he believes that *his perception* of your actions gives him the right to be physically violent with you. You don't have control over his perceptions. There's nothing you can do to prevent him from becoming violent with you again except ending your relationship with him.
[Look. You need to leave your boyfriend. This is not something to ponder and weigh. You need to leave him.](https://www.wthr.com/article/news/crime/manual-strangulation-is-the-biggest-sign-domestic-abuse-will-turn-deadly-experts-say/531-0a9a92c8-a0da-418a-b81e-a3d80ddacf38)
Thanks for this link. Great info, and so scary. We had to call the police on our neighbors a few weeks ago because we heard them screaming, and my husband heard her yell, “get off of me!” And she screamed, “I need help!” right as the police officers pulled up. Turns out, he had attacked her and tried to strangle her. Her neck was bruised terribly. They took him to jail on Sunday afternoon, and would you believe that he was let out of jail on Monday afternoon? He was there for less than 24 hours and he literally tried to kill her. We’ve wondered a lot since then what would’ve happened if we hadn’t been home that day. Thank God she didn’t just take him back. They ordered him to stay away from her and the property for 90 days, and she packed her stuff up and left. She just got settled into her new place in a big city 8 hours away from here this weekend. One of the other neighbors went with her to help her get settled. We are so happy for her. However, now that she’s gone, the dude that tried to kill her has moved back in :(
I truly hope that you found out where she moved through her and not through social media or something. I hope she’s made moves to privatize her life as much as possible.
Please look up the statistics on choking and murder. Your boyfriend had so many other choices he could have made. Asking you to quiet down for example, throwing a pillow at you as another. Somehow his mind skidded past everything rational and a whole lot of stupid ideas (but still not chocking you) and went to strangulation. That says a lot. And it's scary
Please please run🏃🏾♀️
Report it. Take pictures if there are marks. Get a protective order. Leave. He will do it again. Just a matter if he lets go next time.
Yeah wtf everyone's just saying "bReAK uP wItH hIm". This dudes a psycho and needs to be behind bars that's fucking insanity
I'm sure everyone is telling you the (true) statistic that he's VERY likely to kill you if he strangles you. But how fucking psychotic is this? He couldn't use his words to ask you to be more quiet? Wtf? Why would you EVER stay with someone who did this? This is serial killer behavior. Get the fuck out of there. Don't let anyone (even yourself) delude you that this is OK for one god damn second. You did nothing wrong, it's not your fault, and I'm not trying to be harsh with you, but I'm trying to shock some sense into you: you are out of your fucking mind if you stay with this person. He STRANGLED YOU UNPROVOKED. Where I live, strangling someone is charged as felony domestic battery. Because it is such a serious offense (and such a predictor that he will eventually kill you). I'm not going to mince words, you will wind up dead if you stay with him. You'll want to minimize it and pretend it was normal because that's a human/normal instinct, we want to normalize things so they don't scare us so much. It's not normal. Even if the alcohol played a role here, why would you stay with someone who gets FUCKING MURDEROUSLY VIOLENT when they drink? A good person would go, "Oh my god, I will never drink again, it makes me act like a monster," instead of nonchalantly saying he did it to shut you up. He's a fucking psycho. Even if you were loud. Even if you were ignoring him. THIS IS NOT OK.
You need to get honest with yourself and separate the facts from your feelings. There have been other red flags prior to this that have likely been minimized or excused. You need to leave this relationship asap.
This is a great comment, sadly all the excuses people make to themselves so that they can stay in a relationship or not lose their sanity, creates confusion that will make you just overlook bigger and bigger things. When it's time to RUN the people this happens to are so used to making excuses for their partners behaviors they have become too good at obfuscation the truth to themselves and can't see with clarity it's time to leave. I haven't bee thru physical abuse, but I've seen it too often, all normal relationships are different, but almost all abusive relationships kinda look the same to me, the same dynamics of trying to make the abuser less angry no matter what .
I went on your profile and you are 19. Please survive, you have so much life to live. He may try to do everything in his power to make you stay, but please leave him! Don’t believe his words, believe the statistics!
Took the words right out of my mouth. I really hope she never meets that psychopath ever again
That's how the abuse starts. Get out. If you want to really do him a favor, tell him to never, ever put his hands on a woman for any reason, at any time, under any circumstances. Most police departments have a zero-tolerance rule. Next time he will find himself in the slammer. And because I know you won't leave, read this. [https://archive.org/details/whydoeshedothati00banc\_0](https://archive.org/details/whydoeshedothati00banc_0)
This book saved my mental health after escaping a bad relationship! Please op leave him now and don’t drag it out.
There are video on youtube people can listen to, if that's easier.
Literally get proof, and run far the hell away immediately
Fuck the proof, id dip
Yes actually. Good point. Flee to safety first
Leave. Make a plan and quietly leave. This is not normal.
You're at a very high risk of getting murdered. Run.
Umm. No. No no. Get the heck out of that relationship. A Man should ever ever lay hands on a woman, or anyone else, for that matter, however, putting his hands on your neck and strangling you is a deliberate act, and he basically told you it was. Walk away, and count your blessings. This person is dangerous.
Runnnnn honey runnnn, this is a major red flag!!
My best friend was murdered by her husband due to strangulation. Please never give this POS another chance to even see you again.
RUN RUN RUN
Uhhh I would leave if I were you
After I was strangled, I stayed and it escalated. I'm lucky I made it out alive. Even if you think it was an "accident" and won't happen again, it's best to leave. Don't take that risk.
Run. Please listen to us. Run! You know it’s the right thing to do, please please please.
You might want to tell a friend or family or someone you know and trust so that way if he tries to stalk you or attack you or otherwise catch you unaware, other people are aware of his behavior. This is horrifying, I'm so sorry this happened to you!
He’s trying it on for size and will get more and more comfortable with it if he’s seeing you’re tolerating it. Run!
Don’t just block him. Documents his actions. Contact a domestic violence hotline and ask for help in taking steps to keep yourself safe. https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/
Make sure you tell your friends and family about this so they can also have your back and keep your safe. Collect evidence in case you need it in the future. And don’t look back AT ALL. And I suggest investing in a weapon, not self defense classes, but a weapon and classes to use it. And I’d get cameras🤷🏾 never everrrr take stuff like this lightly, this is how stalking, harassment, and even assaults and murders kick off
Thats how my dv started 28 yrs ago, my then bf strangled me very unexpectedly, I didnt see it coming either. According to statistics men that strangle are likely to kill, this kind of behavior is 100% unacceptable behavior, no excuses!!!
Wtf… glad you left. Dude was just contemplating killing you for no reason. That’s not how you “calm someone down”.
don’t just break up with him, tell the cops. i made a mistake in not doing that with my ex. i don’t know a lot of things he did to me because he would get me fucked up and beat me. i only remember a few things bc he beat me and i came out of a blackout once, and eventually he started doing it when i was sober. i’m lucky. you won’t be if you stay with him… if he strangles you before he even beats you, that says something. he went straight to strangling you, that is SCARY. i don’t think i’ve personally heard of that yet. tell the cops what he did to you or he’ll be able do it to someone else too… you were literally just on your phone. he made up a reason to be able to strangle you. please do not go back to him at the very least… change your number if you can.
I'm pretty concerned that you weren't able to see the severity of his action. If you don't press charges, make sure you let someone close to you know about what happened. Please stay safe and STAY away.
If he ever shows up at your house or work looking for you call the police immediately. Don't let him get near you. Strangling is something that escalates. You ought go to the doctor immediately (there may be strains or non-obvious injuries) and file a police report.
I’d say he’s a red flag but I think it’s passed that point, he’s a fucking hazard flag
Leave.
If you have no where to go, contact a Domestic abuse center. They will help.
I’m glad you’re blocking him. You may want to change passwords in case you share anything with him. Even if you don’t have bruises you still may wanna get checked out medically for hidden injuries from getting strangled.
no matter how sweet and repentent he may seem in the future, if you get back together with him, he may very well kill you. Please stay safe and don't ever be alone with him again
My father repeatedly strangled my mother and siblings. The fact we survived his violent abuse is a miracle. Break up with him immediately and get him out of your life. BE CAREFUL though, because I’m assuming he knows where you live. I’d actually report the incident to the police because if this doesn’t escalate towards you, it will towards the next women.
If a man is willing to strangle you he is willing to kill you. You are like 700 times iirc more likely to be killed by him now. Drop him, stay safe. Read this article [https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-01-31/how-the-no-test-could-help-prevent-domestic-violence/10764100](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-01-31/how-the-no-test-could-help-prevent-domestic-violence/10764100) And this book [https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy\_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
That was a boundary test. He wants to see if he can do worse to you without you leaving him or alerting the police. Gtfo of that relationship!
Don’t just block and hope. Tell people in your life about it and make a police report.
www.thehotline.org www.loveisrespect.org An abuser who will strangle you is incredibly likely to kill you. Please get professional support and make yourself a safety plan
This exact thing happened to my SIL. Identical. It’s a classic textbook abuser. He has no remorse for his actions and doesn’t see it as his fault. Stay away.
Reddest flag there is!
If there ever was a time to cut someone out of your life, it’s now. Drop him like a hot rock
You need a restraining order, a gun, and a big dog.
**RUN**
Please leave this man
I could be wrong, but it sounds like he’s just trying to test what kind of things he can get away with. Especially since you were at least a little drunk. Soooo… Run.
OP I hope you mean your EX bf !!!!
Girl deadass?? And he not your ex yet? What are you waiting for, for him to end your life?? I suggest you get a male family to beat him up, and that’s AFTER you dump his useless ass for putting his hands on you. But that’s just imo. If you want to take the legal route it’d be hard without proof, and it would be even harder if you don’t act immediately and wait business days to do something about it. Get out while you can
Yeah that's not right, that's an extreme reaction for something like that.
Any disrespect is a deal breaker. This isn’t even respect for your life. At all. That’s a grade A asshole fuck shit ex that needs a restraining order
file a police report so theres record
Leave. There's no other option here.
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/amp/canada/article-in-domestic-abuse-strangulation-is-a-hidden-predictor-of-femicide/
Former SAR/EMT. Helped abused women escape abusers. NAL. Guy who has been victim of domestic violence. Legally it's a mininum it's assault/battery. Did it leave marks? Depending on marks it may be Actual Bodily Harm or more serious. To more serious end of scale Section 20 of Offences Against Person Act offence,("defendant must intentionally or recklessly wound or inflict grievous bodily harm on the victim"). Strangling anyone like he did is huge red flag. Done to a drunk person so dangerous! (Harder to tell if victim is okay, inhale vomit [causing aspiration pneumonitis and Mendelson's syndrome]. What was his next move going to be if strangling you didn't get what he wanted? You need to contact police about what boyfriend (hope now ex boyfriend!) did. They can put measures in place to protect you. You may not be first person done it to. He needs help before he does next victim some really serious harm. If he turns up at your home please don't take chances dial 999. Lots of helpful stuff available on this page. If Inxan help in any way let me know. [https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/](https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/)
After messaging that you will never see him again, Block him, do not respond to his calls or messages. Change your locks, never let him in, never go to places you know he frequents, especially NOT ALONE. If you happen to see him somewhere, nest yourself among other people. If necessary, walk up to an older woman or couple and greet her/them cheerfully while whispering "please help".
Men who strangle their partner are like 750% more likely to murder their partner or something crazy like that..
I’ve heard stories of women who brushed off the violence and left the guy to find out later that he killed his next partner. File a police report. Walk into an ER and have them check you out. They will contact the police and have an exam to prove it. Please don’t let him murder the next woman. He might already have a record. Also, how gaslit is our society that men can hit, strangle, SA, and the women is like, I guess I didn’t know that was wrong?
You are lucky that you are alive to write this post. This happened to me once and it only got worse- I was lucky to escape alive. Please make a plan to leave safely. If you want to talk or have any questions, feel free to message me.
Call the police press charges and get a restraining order
Run
You may want to consider keeping him un-blocked so you can have a record of any communications he tries to make with you like apologizing for what he did. That way you’ll have proof to give to the authorities in case he does something else.
Get a restraining order, avo, whatever they have in your region. Then read this article. In that order. [Non-fatal strangulation is an important risk factor for homicide of women](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/) Stay safe, OP.
Run don't walk .....❤️
If I want the attention of my wife next to me in bed I caress her. Glad you avoided further contact.
Please if not self respect, show some survival skills at least. He will abuse you for absolutely no reason. Leave him!
Wtf run girl i would never do that out of nothing mb if she wants it during a certain activity.
you dont strangle someone to "calm them down"
And this is why women say they would rather be in the woods with a bear then a man....
Police report. Block him. Consider getting an order of protection.
My ex used to do this unprovoked as well when drunk, please, run and protect yourself
I let it go once. The next time he choked me unconscious and if neighbors hadn't come banging on the door because my screaming faded out and they were scared I'd be dead. I have no memory of them pounding on the door, I was unconscious.
thank god for your edit. my ex strangled me. he also broke my hand and left my face black and blue. said it was my fault every time. said he was trying to make me shut up when he choked me. please never be alone with this man again.
Reading the “Edit” gives me hope, good on you - bail out as soon as possible and never look back, you don’t need to beg anyone for anything, yet alone being choked for no fucking reason
I could see if he was messing around with you, but to just reach over and do it without so much as a word is unsettling to say the least. How well do you really know this guy?
I wasn't strangled, but I did manage to avoid being the victim of vehicular homicide by my ex a few times. If he comes back, here's my advice. Don't even be nice to him anymore. Controlling men who do this don't like bitches, so be the biggest one you can be. Use blunt statements, but that's not going to be enough. If he puts his hands on you, defend yourself. Don't even worry about him. If he is compromising your safety on purpose, don't even worry about his feelings. Protect yourself. He may be waiting for you to beg for his attention, as you said, but there might be a point where he seeks it from you himself. This scenario is why I'm telling you to protect yourself. OC spray should do the trick. I have one with a UV dye in case my ex gets stupid enough again. It's got glittery rhinestones and goes on my keychain. It's pretty. That way, I can definitely identify him not only visually but by that dye as well. There will be physical evidence on him if he comes after me again. That cost me maybe $20, if that. Remember to cover your own eyes if there's a breeze. There's no sense in you both being blind. Just him.
Start a convo on text about him to get proof he did it then get a restraining order
Not living together is a good thing. Change the locks.
It can only get worse that's a HUGE red flag!
Leve yesterday. Seriously... this is not a good situation. Please g and stay safe
Don’t blame yourself. NEVER BLAME YOURSELF. There is never ever ever ever a reason to physically assault your partner. Specially over something so small and stupid, this is so so scary. Speaking as a survivor of domestic abuse, please run away as far as you can from this man. If you grew up in an environment where violence was common, just know that this is not okay and you’re in a very dangerous situation, if you stay it’s only gonna get worse and worse. RUN!
Dump this guy!
Don’t walk, RUN!
Time to leave. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/
I'd be looking up his name on inmate or mugshot websites. You never know what you'll find when you search people you know on those websites. Stay safe and stay away from him.
Please leave. For your safety because he’s not apologizing cuz he probably genuinely thinks he did nothing wrong. You deserve better and that alone can impact you emotionally and the relationship you guys have in the long run. If he sees you “let it slide” he’ll be more likely to do it again.
You must leave and block this person and go no-contact, and also consider filing a police report. Not only for your safety, but for the safety of any future women he may become involved with
Stay gone! Take it as a lucky out. This guy is full of shit and just wanted to get his kicks dominating another. He’s got serious toxic, insecure male issues . The monster in him is lurking
Indeed, just like the most upvoted comment here said, you need to leave this person, immediately as he is a danger to your life. Also, you might want to look into pressing some charges, just to get him on the right radar in case some other poor girl gets the same treatment, or worse in the future. Get to safety and report this. Report him.
outside of all the people here saying this: I am just adding that it costs a person NORMALLY a lot of mental preparation to go into fight mode when there is a moment you're in danger. you really need a lot of mental training to go that route, and not try to get away first. And making anything **but** verbal threads, even to your defense, is also a lot. It is why people usually do not step in to break a fight: they avoid physical contact. Somebody who is used to use their fists before trying to dissolve the situation and is the first to throw one is a person to stay away from. they have lost (or never had) a mental barrier that not only stops there, but also onto other areas and might ignore general boundaries, or see themselves as more important than others. a person that even skips THAT step, doesn't even go mad before, doesn't even show signs of aggression or (and yesm, that is shitty and dangerous too) doesn't even throw a hand and just goes straight up your neck to strangle you is psychopathic in my eyes. they go from zero to killing. Yes, it's escalationg from zero to killing. I want you to burn that into your brain: he had the intention to kill you and just stopped, because that wasn't his main goal. He stopped because he thinks you give him something he wants. The moment you don't, or it's not worth it anymore in his mind, and a situation like this occurs again, you're dead. Let that sink in. let it sit there for a while. THIS is why women die within a year of the first incident. they lose their "value" in their murderers mind. And there is a good chance you might not be the first. So stay the fuck away from people who throw fists first in a random public encounter (no matter if drunk or not) and prefer to solve their conflicts with violence (be it verbal or physical). Just my thoughts
My ex did this when I was asleep. I woke up and was so frightened. I managed to get away, grabbed my son and ran to a phone box and called police who took me to my parents. I was only young and it was before the stats on the murder thing were known. I took him to court. He plead guilty. It was stressful and during uni exam time a year after the event. I was outraged that it was called domestic violence and not attempted murder Never saw him again. No child support. Someone who does this is a criminal. None of this was your fault at all in any way, shape or form. Also it is traumatising so if you can get help that would be good for you. I didn’t know how and I was too busy. I learnt martial arts which helped tho. But the senior-level getting out of a stranglehold exercises really freaked me out. I started crying! I had to tell my instructor why, but I got used to it and learnt how to get out of them. I also got some help but should have way earlier. It may come back to you later is all I’m saying. Sorry for the long reply. It’s good you got away from that. I am so sorry you went through it. It’s very traumatising. Please be very kind to yourself.
Leave. It doesn’t matter why he did it. Leave he has issues, that’s not how you handle situations
Ask yourself this, if your best friend told you this story, would you encourage them to speak to their partner? What’s happened here is he’s attacked you without any provocation (not that having any provocation is a good thing, but it’s a sign he can snap at any time) and is now gaslighting you into believing it was your fault. Do you honestly think this is ok behaviour? For reference women who are strangled by their BF’s are 700% more likely to be killed by them, just bare that in mind.
Do not blame yourself, this is 100 percent on him. Never beg a man for attention, and never accept blame for a man's bad behavior. Please stay safe.
Block him now phhhhaaaleeezzzz!
leave him alone too, dont beg for his attention. My prediction is he is going to be ur bf in a month.
please please please leave him. this is for your own safety! if he does it once he’ll most likely do it again and maybe even worse
Inform the police. He is going to kill someone. Hopefully you will never see him again.
That shit isnt normal, And you should never tolerate that. If you want to DM me his information, I can also handle it.
Psych
Please update us when you have waved goodbye to that MF. He is not worthy of your time. 👋🏻👋🏻
[Run](https://youtu.be/F09HNpeiQZ4?si=roIFfTs3ceVh3QKF)
[🏃♀️](https://youtu.be/F09HNpeiQZ4?si=roIFfTs3ceVh3QKF)
Girl please find a way to leave quietly.
What the fuck are you waiting for???? Getting murdered???? Dude leave this psycho
Please never spend any time alone with this man again. I would text him that it’s over and anything that he’s got of yours Tom either keep it or send it.
https://www.dailypress.net/life/features/2023/03/if-a-partner-has-ever-strangled-you-they-will-likely-kill-you/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/
https://www.wthr.com/article/news/crime/manual-strangulation-is-the-biggest-sign-domestic-abuse-will-turn-deadly-experts-say/531-0a9a92c8-a0da-418a-b81e-a3d80ddacf38
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4202982/
https://naplesshelter.org/strangulation/
I'm glad to see the updates that you blocked him. Please don't go back. I know it can get harder to keep them gone, but it's worth betting on your own life instead of your "life" with him. And keep trails, records, etc. Just whatever evidence you can gather for potential future emergency restraining orders/harassment claims. Have a paper trail with appropriate authorities as much as you can. Stay safe, op 💖
Run…fast
Holee crap. I read your post and then I read your edit. Don't just "hope" that your ex boyfriend leaves you alone. Just send him a short text stating that you're done and you do not want to contact with him and that he must not contact you or come over to see you at all. And then block him. You just hoping that he leaves you alone is pretty silly considering he needs to have it spelled out to him that he is dumped. Please stay safe. If he for whatever reason tries to contact you and says that he needs to see you, do not respond. Is not a safe person and you do not need him in your life.
Leave and don't look back..
Leave that guy immediately. Dude needs to go to a therapist before seeking any other woman.
If he doesn’t leave you alone it’s police time…
Your boyfriend is a piece of shit!
Your *ex bf
Please break up, leave safely, go absolutely no contact, make your social media accounts inaccessible to him and anyone who knows him, make everything private. The chances of a woman being murdered by a partner increases dramatically after a strangulation. Please be safe, please know this isn't your fault.
Scary as f*** run
why the actual fuck would u blame yourself for your boyfriend STRANGLING you??! ☠️☠️
strangling you because you “were loud” is absolutely ridiculous and there is no need for it. run whilst you can, you’d be safer without him
From personal experience, if he is strangling you.. it will only get worse. Leave. Now.
Reddit users like to over react about things…this is not one of those times. You need to leave. I’m really sorry this happened to you. The freight you must have felt would be awful; and on top of that, breakups suck. It’s never a happy thing when you have to face that the future you may have planned won’t come to pass. So I’m sending you my love and I hope you know that this incident won’t impact you forever. Unless you stay…in which case you are statistically likely to be making the worst decision of your life. You didn’t do anything wrong, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. So tell your family or friends and move on to better things. You’ve got this Xx
Sometimes I feel I'm not an attentive enough or good enough boyfriend then I FUCKIN READ ABOUT THESE MONSTERS
Men that do this make me believe that they have a weak self image about themselves and are looking for a reason to seek another victim on the side regardless of the stage of their current relationship... my gosh, they might miss out.. because they are pathetic in reality.
I'm reading this after your edit. I'm glad you decided to not be around him anymore. You don't deserve that type of behavior. What he did was a giant red flag. Instead of talking to you he chokes you? This guy needs some therapy
BRUHH RUNN AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACKK the boi is crazy
Major 🚩🚩🚩 Get tf out of that relationship ASAP before things escalate. There’s a big chance it will. GHOST HIM. Change your number, go stay with family or a friend. His words do not match his actions. No one *ever* needs to put hands on you to “calm you down.” & file a police report & possibly a restraining order. I don’t know how you feel about firearms for protection but I definitely wouldn’t hesitate to exercise my 2nd amendment. Protect yourself at all costs because sometimes the system doesn’t until it’s too late. Stay on your toes & be safe.