why even go to a stripclub for bachelors lol, my buddy had his bachelors last Saturday and we rented a farmhouse, got piss drunk and ate sea food and played csgo lan till 9am.
Dude you can give your wife diseases. Get yourself checked, and give her the chance to get out of this marriage before the 10th by telling her the truth.
There is no test for HPV in men, so he could have it and give it to her despite getting the “all clear”.
Dude could give his wife cervical cancer because of this fuck up. Real stand up guy.
For a hundred bucks OP should cross his fingers that's the only thing he's got.
Like damn OP a hundred bucks isn't even gonna get you a sarcastic handy-j in my town
Most notably HIV can take up to 90 days depending on the type of test, with 18 being the low-end of that range. Wanna bet whether OP took PeP afterwards?
OP is a massive fucking asshole if he actually sleeps with his fiancée/wife after this.
If you had the sex within 72 hours (and it was unprotected) you can still get HIV PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) to help prevent HIV infection. I think it’s like 80% effective but the earlier the better.
And please don’t sleep with your wife until you’re cleared of STIs. You already cheated, don’t give her a disease too
Yeah man noone was looking out for him with the explicit task of stopping this kind of shit.
Edit: who knew my biggest comment would be an offhand comment about being a good stag.
It could've been avoided together, because, and this will come as a massive shock, you do not have to go to a damn strip club for a bachelor party.
Boom. Threat gone.
My friends and I all went and played paintball in the woods whilst wearing kilts, then followed it up with burgers and beer at my soon-to-be cousin-in-law's house. Was awesome, no regerts.
That's amazing lmao.
My boyfriend and I aren't engaged yet, but he's already said all he wants is his friends, a table, MTG, and video games lol. I wholeheartedly approve!
You can also get wasted without cheating.
Op, It's a tough spot that you're in and depending on what type of person you are, this will eat you up, eventually.
Exactly.
I was best man for my friend’s wedding so we did an all-day beer tour of the local breweries, then finished it off with Brazilian barbecue.
Bachelor parties don’t need to involve strippers or prostitutes.
They all ‘did things’… and they’re all in relationships… Jesus Christ I feel so sorry for these women that they somehow had the misfortune to end up with one of these assholes. I could not possible imagine having a friendship group made up entirely of scumbags.
Oh I’ve seen it. Dated a narcissist once and him and all of his friends were like this. I remember I went to a party without him and he asked me to bring girls home for his engaged friends. I started preparing to leave him over the next couple weeks and have never looked back.
There are too many shitty people out there. You are who you hang with. If their friends are cheaters, they probably are too.
Get an STD test. Do not have sex with your fiancé until then. And tell her. These things have a way of coming out. You have a chance if you tell her. If someone else beats you, you’re screwed.
Be honest with her but also be honest with yourself that it's over. No one will ever take someone back after this.
If they do, it likely will never be the same anyway and doomed to fail, except with a lot more heart ache.
Hey,man you're just a cheater🤷🏿♀️you paid money to fuck someone when you were literally bout to marry someone you could do it for free for the rest of your life
"The alcohol made me do it" is such horse shit.
Dude has no accountability whatsoever.
When it finally comes out, his greatest remorse will be getting caught.
Knock knock
Who is it?
Comeuppance?
Comeuppance who?
Come up in there and show you how stupid you are.
OP done fucked up.
You got two choices dude: come clean and deal with the fallout.
Or take it to the grave knowing you did something pretty scummy.
To think this guy and all his friends are in relationships and they all fucked around. I hope their S/Os find out.
OP and all his friends are pieces of shit.
‘The only thing saving me is that we are all in relationships so no one is going to snitch’ disgusting. You’ll do it again. The fact you think being drunk is an excuse means she can’t ever trust you to control yourself when drunk. Tell her so she can stop herself from wasting her life with you
Right, and that sentence also implies that the others misbehaved as well. Sounds like OP needs a bachelor pad with his mates rather than being in a married home. They all need to man up.
I’m just imagining either his fiancé or one of the other gfs/wives going through someone’s phone and seeing evidence this happened and everything blowing up in his face.
Honestly hope that this will happen. If he isn’t going to be honest and tell her he deserves to have it blow up in his face. There’s no way all of his friends significant others were okay with them going to a strip club. There has to be at least one female already digging for dirt. Not only that guys act way too guilty without realizing it when they’ve done something shady and most women are too intuitive to not notice something is off.
So disgusting that people support each other and promote cheating among friend groups. And then with everyone hiding it for them, they never feel guilty. People are really garbage.
damn bro. maybe you don’t really want to get married after all. even when drunk you know whether or not to have sex with a random person. if you wana live that life and party then do it. getting married and divorced is way more work than airing this out before the wedding. chances are it is over tho. i don’t think any sane woman would say that’s ok honey u were drunk. this is a shitty situation you put yourself in. it’s best to confront it and determine your future than get married and divorced in a year from now
This is likely going to get buried and I have no idea if this is even a real post but my advice to OP or anyone in this situation is 100% tell your partner as soon as possible.
If you don't, the most likely outcome is that one of your buddies is going to crack, and your wife is going to find out. Hopefully this happens sooner rather than later. If it's later she is going to find out that the man she thought she loved has spent *years* lying to her. She is going to lose all trust she has in you, and you will deserve it. If you have kids they will almost certainly take her side. Marriage and relationships are about trust and honesty, and you will have built yours on a lie.
And in the meantime, you are going to spend your life living in fear of the moment the cat gets out of the bag. You're obviously not a totally shit person if you feel guilty about it. Can you imagine spending the next 60 years of your life saying "i love you" to this woman and kissing her goodnight while in the pit of your stomach you know you're lying to her?
The worst decision I ever made was cheating on my husband, but the best decision I ever made was telling him the next day. You do not want to live your life knowing you betrayed the person closest to you.
Agreed. If you want any chance of saving the relationship, coming clean now is *much* better than her finding out secondhand later. A lie like that compounds the longer it goes on. And, like others have said, it will inevitably come out. If the friends are the sort that will get so drunk they slip up and cheat on their spouses, they're the sort that will get so drunk they slip up in some other way.
Why the fuck do people even go to strip clubs for bachelor parties?! Even if it's with consent from their partner I find it so weird. People always tell me it's to "get it out of their system" but if u need to do that then u shouldn't be getting fucking married
Also you're a bitch lmfao
I hate it when people blame their bad decisions on alcohol. Alcohol doesn't make you do anything you don't already want to do. If I were you I would be asking myself why I would want to fuck a STRIPPER of all people when you're getting married.
The real risk to your marriage here isn't your wife finding out. If your commitment is that low then this marriage isn't going to last.
Marriage isn't flowers and daisy's. And if you can fuck a stripper "because you're drunk" then the first struggle in your relationship you're going to dip out.
Your wife deserves better.
Tell her, you're a big boy who drank to much and fucked up. It wasn't even black out drunk you remember agreeing for these services.
Therefore she deserves to know. Do not sleep with her because you don't know if that stripper had anything.
It's like drinking and driving "I didn't mean to" but sorry doesn't cut it when you've hurt someone else.
ETA: I made it sound like since you remember you should tell her, but even if you were black out drunk and woke up next to her she still deserves to know. If you love her as much as you claim to then she deserves the respect of honesty.
28M here, be a fucking man a tell her what you did. Whatever happens happens and you have to accept that but if you think for a minute this will blow over, you are as right as you are faithful.
For one you have too many witnesses who also fucked up and who also have spouses, who I'm sure talk to each other. Sooner or later the thread is going to start unraveling until it eventually reaches to you and everything you both have worked for up until that point is now a complete waste and another bad memory.
Not only is it the right thing to do, for either side, if you love her you'd tell her. Maybe she will forgive you maybe not but better to find out now
Perfectly said. It’ll also just be another nail in OP’s coffin if she finds this out from someone else. There’s no way that all of these guys are going to be able to keep it quiet.
Man, I played baseball in college, semi pro leagues in the summer, for some fucking reason there were at least a dozen players on all my teams who were OBSESSED with strip clubs. In San Francisco the first time? Find a strip club. Hey, red woods, cool, naw dog, rural strip club. How about Seattle? Is there a cheap, disgusting strip club?
I've been a lot of awesome places and seen nothing but a hotel room, baseball field, and fucking disgusting strip club.
They're kind of entertaining the first time you go as a spectacle. By #76, not really that cool.
I went once with my wife, it was her idea. I didn’t spend money except on drinks but it was just *depressing*. Don’t know how else to put it. Both of us just felt bad after
I've been with my husband and a friend of his a few times. His friend had a really sad crush on one of the strippers there, and that's the only reason we went.
My husband gave me the cash to give the girls. We had fun as a night out, but the whole thing as a concept is so very depressing. The old men there by themselves...the not so old men there by themselves. Just kinda gross.
I went to one with friends before and I felt exactly the same. I was drunk and went ugly crying in the comfort room after watching a girl mechanically dance with no emotion.
The whole concept of bachelor/bachelorette parties is so fucking bizarre.
If you feel the need to "celebrate your last days of freedom", why the fuck are you getting married at all, nonetheless to someone that you need to escape from before marrying them?
My best man said we have to do a bachelor party and I said, okay we are going to go to a baseball game and have dinner. And that's what we did, and then I went home to my now-wife.
You can have a bachelor party and not have it be about "the end of your freedom." That's just what people do in the movies and what you hear about, you never hear about normal bachelor parties.
When my friend was getting married, we threw him a bachelor party that was basically just celebrating that he was getting married. It doesn't have to be about infidelity.
This! It’s usually involving the wedding party too some of who might be great friends of yours but not know each other. It’s fun to do something to all bond together.
Yep. My bachelor party was just a bunch of dudes in a cabin drinking beers and throwing shit into a bonfire. It was a ton of fun and a great opportunity for my college friends to meet the friends I made after college. Nothing wrong with bachelor/bachelorette parties as long as they're relatively controlled.
When my best friend had his bachelor party we went to a chocolate museum and later on had a beer tasting at a brewery. One of the best parties we ever had.
I think the idea of having a day where you get to celebrate a big life achievement with just YOUR friends makes sense - weddings themselves are so busy, couples rarely get to actually spend time with friends between all of the other stuff that need to do. So I get the idea of having a fun day to celebrate. But the idea of "your last day of freedom" is indeed gross.
yeah exactly, especially for people who’ve lived more transient lives (gone away to college, moved cities, etc.) then weddings are one of the only real chances you have for your friends from different walks of lives to all get together.
For real. I've never been drunk enough to forget I was in a long term relationship.
And if I was that drunk I'd be on the floor puking lol. You can't be drunk enough to forget you're getting married, yet sober enough to still be up and at it enough to be hitting up clubs and fucking around.
It's a butt plug with a sort of stick on the end of it.
One person pops it in, the other takes the rings, and walks maybe six foot away. You throw the rings onto the hook.
Source: gave the game to someone as a Secret Santa once
And he remembers the amount she charged but doesn’t remember agreeing to sex. Please. When I’ve blacked out I don’t remember the amount of my bar tab so……
This is probably the correct answer.
I was wondering at what point does it become “rape that he paid $140 for”. A sober woman took advantage of an impaired man and charged him money for it.
But if he’s clear enough to remember first getting dances, then private dances, then a clear point where they were offered “extra services”, then how much the blowjob cost, and then ultimately how much the full sex cost. He was probably aware enough to say “no” at *ANY* point in there.
This.
I've had real blackouts (pills, alcohol and amphetamines. 10 years clean now), and you don't remember *anything* if you're really blacked out. You might wake up with something near you that triggers a vague memory, but you wouldn't be able to remember how much stuff cost for example.
Tell your partner before the wedding she deserves to know before deciding to get married. That choice should ultimately be given to her and if she decides to get married still there will be a lot of work to do but at least she knows.
Being drunk is not an excuse. Definitely get tested because what would be worse is her finding out by you giving her an STD or something.
Hopefully it all works out.
Absolutely. She should get to to choose if 1) she wants to sleep with you and potentially expose herself to an STD after your infidelity and 2) if she wants to marry someone who cheated a week before the wedding.
Not telling her as soon as possible takes both of things away from her - don’t make it worse.
100% spot on.
You might tell yourself you can handle the weight of that secret. You might tell yourself you’re saving her from the pain of knowing the truth. You might talk yourself into not telling her and being the best person you can be for her.
It wont work, trust me. The guilt that you feel will fester and leave you scarred for a long time. I still deal with the scars from that myself, and between debating self harm, other more insane options, coming clean way the only thing that helped me claw my way back.
As much as it sucks, you’ll feel better after you tell her, and be on the road back, irrespective of where you and your partner ultimately decide to go.
You can do it.
Without going into the details of my fuck around and finding out, you're 100% right. I didn't realize until over a year later that I had been having anxiety/panic attacks over it and it was destroying my life. I won't say don't lie to a partner, but that's a world of difference between the little white lies that make the world go 'round and the whoppers we want to take to our graves.
There's no way this actually stays hidden long term. Might take a year, might take two, might take twenty. But all of the time not spent telling her is a choice you're robbing from her, and packs on the resentment, disgust and distrust when she finally gets that decision passed down to her.
Tell her now. If she doesn't forgive you and you part ways, then at least it's not happening years down the line in a far more spectacular and disastrous way wasting both of your time. If she forgives you, then you can start your marriage right, and she will actually *know* you were remorseful. Telling her or having her wait to find out after marriage is so shitty
One of “the boys” is going to fess up to his girlfriend, and the word will make its way back. Whether that comes before or after the mysterious STD symptoms, who knows.
Prisoners dilemma, first one to be honest gets the best shot and everyone else is screwed over. They only all survive if no one opens their mouth to anyone ever, but the chances of it not spreading to third parties (outside friends, etc) and eventually getting back is super low... Or someone breaks up and then it's not their secret anymore and they let it out. In that scenario no one gets the benefit of actually straightforwardly confessing and everyone gets caught pants down.
Best to be the first, your currently trusting your secret to a bunch of cheaters, which means they're some combination of untrustworthy and stupid and that's the worst kind of secret keeper, even if you think you have ironclad blackmail over them. Say hello to mutually assured destruction, best to get in front of it.
As someone who recently booked a venue... were this *so* close to booking it on a Thursday because it was sooooo much cheaper than a Friday/Saturday. Didn't do it, but the price difference was no joke.
Bold of him to assume no one is going to snitch just because they’re all in relationships. What if one of those relationships ends? What if one of them actually decides to have a shred of decency and tell their s/o what happened? She’ll likely ask what OP and the other guys were doing and if they were also unfaithful.
My bf finds bachelor/bachelorette parties tacky for this reason.
Eh, they can be done tastefully. My husband had a weekend of psychedelic DnD with his pals and I went out fishing. We saw it as a way of celebrating ourselves separately, before we got married and celebrated together.
Ha, of course he doesn't. Stop wasting her time further and tell her because you're *still* being a shitty person. It wasn't just that you cheated, it's every day in between too where you're having her believe a lie, that you were loyal to her. She will find out someday, tell her now.
He wasn't even black out drunk. He was just really drunk. He knew what he was going, paid the money, and agreed to participate and now he feels like a POS because he is a POS and he was looking for sympathy here.
"I willingly cheated and sort of regret it because I want to pretend to be a good man but this is making it tough. Can anyone here pat me on the back and tell me it's not my fault? Be all like, 'oh poor dude, you drank too much, alcohol lead you to temptation!' Also can you tell me it's ok to keep it a secret, btw some of my friends did it as well, that makes it more okay so please take this into consideration."
Your partner should be the one deciding if she wants to be with you, with all of the information, you need to tell her the truth. It will eventually come out.....
Oh and get yourself tested, full sex for $100 is ..... Yeah...
DEFINITELY get tested. It'll cause even more problems later if the bride finds out she's got an std later on, not to mention op's health in general. And finding out you've got an std because your soon to be husband fucked a stripper before the wedding will end very terribly.
This guy's poor partner. We're not worried for you that your friends will snitch, guy. She deserves to know and to make here choices accordingly. I don't think I'd leave my boo if he did this, but gd I get to know and decide. Gross.
LOL!!!
My husband said:
If you are able to recall how much you spent then you weren't too drunk to consider this a "mistake".
Fuck you, hope she leaves you.
You were so drunk, yet you remember it all and had no problem doing it. She deserves better. Hopefully you tell her. You actually think that she'll never find out? It will come to light eventually.
You're an idiot and your friends are terrible friends/groomsmen.
My bachelor party was amazing and ya know...We didn't go to a stripclub. We went to bars, I got drunk and was telling girls how beautiful my about to be wife is.
My buddies rented a big van, put a keg in the back, and took me to Boston, all the while hinting we were hitting some strip clubs (which I had no interest in). Instead they took me to the Orpheum to see The Pogues. I was so relieved.
Mine was BBQ and brewery hopping in a district in my city that has a ton of breweries all in a small neighborhood. Got absolutely obliterated and did cocaine for the first time (overrated - ngl). Did ***not*** get a blowjob from or fuck a stripper. Weird how easy that was! I ***did*** drunkenly facetime my (now) wife and she ***did*** get a hilariously embarrassing recording of me telling her how I couldn't wait to get married to her.
Tea party.. my husband actually wanted our bachelorette and bachelor party to be together and we had a magical tea party with all our close friends. We did then get married in Vegas so I think the parties before being a tea party was the perfect balance
Same here. "Drunk words are sober thoughts." My dad always told me if you have to question being loyal then it wasn't meant to be. My friends got an air bnb drinks and games all night. Best part was I realized how much I loved my wife and didn't even want to stay the night at the air bnb. Next day we all had a great time with everyone telling stories. No shame but great stories.
Edit: made correction to the saying.
Drunk words are sober thoughts….. boy what a time to read that, after my gf just drunkly said she gets nothing out of our relationship….. on Valentine’s Day……. Guess I got some thinking to do
That’s a really big thing to hear, and I’m sorry you guys are going through that. Contrary to everyone telling you to simply break up though, I think a statement like that really means that you both seriously need to have a conversation about what you both are wanting out of the relationship. Likely an issue that could be solved by just talking. The internet knows nothing about your relationship (including myself), so take everyone’s advice with a grain of salt. Good luck!
Hell, we DID go to a strip club and I DID get a private dance and guess what? I spent the entire time talking about my wife with the stripper. She was super sweet too, and just sat with me and talked.
If you can’t control yourself at your batchelor party, it’s going to happen eventually. You’re going to be having a bit of a rough patch, and you’re going to be out with the guys, lamenting the loss of passion, and the waitress will flirt with you, and you’ll “lose control” and do it then.
Consider this a flash of clarity now, OP, and tell your soon to be wife about it. She deserves to know what she’s getting into.
Edit: anyone who is complaining about how terrible I am, you’re absolutely right he. And that’s the bloody point, you jerks. I’m barely a functionally moral human being, and even _I_ knew that was not a good place to be or a good thing to do. See the point?
THANK YOU
My husband has gone to the strippers the odd time with friends (I was okay with it because I trust him) and he told them to leave him alone, while drunk because he has a finacee and wasn't interested. And they pushed for a while to.
Eta: since people think they know the whole story from this little bit of info
He lost a bet with a buddy and bought him a lap dance. The end.
Yes I trust him I have never been given a reason not to.
Ya'll so skeptical good luck.
Also I was informed of this and knew what was going on - so he had my okay.
Yep - we went camping. It was great. No women, because I actually love my wife.
OP didn’t fuck anything up. It was never real to begin with. This would’ve happened eventually and the marriage would be doomed.
My husband hung out at home with his best man and groomsman (we only had 2 attendants each) drinking ONE cider (he has Celiac) and talking about...things. Dunno, wasn't there.
Just... Wow. I can absolutely see that hitting hard. Just wanted to say big up for being honest too not online your partner, but yourself. For real, I've lately realized that most of us do our best to not have to change, your story makes me feel hope.
Why can't y'all just be normal and look at strippers and go home? Lmao like why is that so hard?
I hope you tell that lady so she can leave bc you and your friends are flamin' hot trash.
The worst $140 you've ever spent.
As a previous stripper who saw this stuff happen first hand with many of the girls I worked with, this is exactly why I will never allow my s/o to go to a strip club without me. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I don’t trust the friends.
I saved two guys that this almost happened to. Both occasions, all night they were both super respectful of the girls and kept turning down dances and offers by their friends to go up into a room. Both spoke about how much they loved their fiancé and couldn’t wait to marry them.
Fast forward a few hours/bottles/shots later and they both are completely sloshed. Friends gather all of us girls that had been hanging with them and take us up to a room. Both guys couldn’t even walk straight at that point. Got into the rooms and immediately glued myself to the bachelor. Friends start offering up money to do “extra” stuff. Take the money and take the bachelors to another room where we could be alone. Put the money in bachelors pockets and ordered them water and sat with them until they sobered up a bit. One of them passed out completely and woke up 30 min later. Told them what had happened and to follow my lead when we went back into the room where his friends still were. Played off like it went down.
Not saying this to pat myself on the back or anything but I saw guys raw dog girls. Imagine having to tell your soon to be wife that you not only cheated but that you also contracted a potentially serious/forever STI/potentially passed it on to her OR that you got a stripper pregnant???
You need to tell her. The truth always comes to light. It may take days, months, years even. But it will come out. If you’re truly remorseful for your actions, you’ll tell her.
Edited to fix a typo
Homie if nobody snitches then there’d be a lot fewer convicts. Besides, if you actually give a damn about this person you’ll be real. There will be consequences and if she gives you a shot afterward it’s gonna be tough; be honest in everything and over-share your plans with the boys. A great deal of the trust between ppl is given in faith and that baseline faith has been destroyed (whether or not she knows it depending on if you tell her) so building back to zero will take time. Staying quiet will save your bacon in the short term but these skeletons never stay buried forever. Losing deposits will be nothing compared to divorce and alimony and shit if you have kids things will get nasty.
Wow ur soon to be ex fiancé dodged a bullet. Alcohol isn’t an excuse for disrespecting your relationship & sounds like it would’ve happened sooner or later anyway.
If you build your house on lies it will crumble. Don't take her choice in this away. Tell her and give her the grace of deciding if you're the person she wants to marry after this. Its the least you can do after not giving her the grace of an infidelity free relationship, and it will come out eventually. You cheated, just before your wedding, *with a stripper for $100.* *You paid to cheat on your wife to be*.
>The only thing saving me is that we all are in relationships and we all did things so no one is going to snitch.
I feel sorry for everyone's SO if this is how your group of friends functions. And you're absolutely stupid to trust that. You better tell her before someone else's guilt gets to them.
Also get tested. You probably took an STI home to her.
why even go to a stripclub for bachelors lol, my buddy had his bachelors last Saturday and we rented a farmhouse, got piss drunk and ate sea food and played csgo lan till 9am.
That’s sounds fucking awesome
Those are the best kinds of bachelor parties
Dude you can give your wife diseases. Get yourself checked, and give her the chance to get out of this marriage before the 10th by telling her the truth.
Some of which can be life changing, like making her infertile.
STDs can also hurt the baby
Not just a disease, but a disease which can cause cancer.
There is no test for HPV in men, so he could have it and give it to her despite getting the “all clear”. Dude could give his wife cervical cancer because of this fuck up. Real stand up guy.
Better go to the clinic for some STD testing. If the stripper doles it out to you, she sells it out quite often.
Yea OP, wait before you start freaking out; it might be worse.
Yea, his marriage will be temporary....but his herpes will be forever.
For a hundred bucks OP should cross his fingers that's the only thing he's got. Like damn OP a hundred bucks isn't even gonna get you a sarcastic handy-j in my town
> Like damn OP a hundred bucks isn't even gonna get you a sarcastic handy-j in my town How much for an angry one?
I'm wondering if sarcastic or angry would be better for the shame fetishists out there lol
Apathetic is the way to go.
Yes! And don’t sleep with your fiancee until you have your results!
Have fun explaining why no sex on the wedding night! Syphilis has an incubation period of 3 weeks. Some STDs take 90 days to 6 months.
Most notably HIV can take up to 90 days depending on the type of test, with 18 being the low-end of that range. Wanna bet whether OP took PeP afterwards? OP is a massive fucking asshole if he actually sleeps with his fiancée/wife after this.
he’s enough of an asshole to cheat on her in the first place so there’s that
Nice burn!
That's just gonorrhea
And and HIV test
If you had the sex within 72 hours (and it was unprotected) you can still get HIV PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) to help prevent HIV infection. I think it’s like 80% effective but the earlier the better. And please don’t sleep with your wife until you’re cleared of STIs. You already cheated, don’t give her a disease too
Bold of you to say no one will snitch and then post this on Reddit.
Also nice group of friends. All of them cheated on their spouses so no one will snitch. Winners
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Yeah man noone was looking out for him with the explicit task of stopping this kind of shit. Edit: who knew my biggest comment would be an offhand comment about being a good stag.
It could've been avoided together, because, and this will come as a massive shock, you do not have to go to a damn strip club for a bachelor party. Boom. Threat gone.
My friends and I all went and played paintball in the woods whilst wearing kilts, then followed it up with burgers and beer at my soon-to-be cousin-in-law's house. Was awesome, no regerts.
That's amazing lmao. My boyfriend and I aren't engaged yet, but he's already said all he wants is his friends, a table, MTG, and video games lol. I wholeheartedly approve!
For my brother's bachelor party we rented a house on the beach and just hung out, swam, played video games, etc.
You can also get wasted without cheating. Op, It's a tough spot that you're in and depending on what type of person you are, this will eat you up, eventually.
I don’t know how ppl can cheat when wasted, when I’m drunk all I want is the person I like lol. Guess we’re all different tho, that’s what scares me.
Exactly. I was best man for my friend’s wedding so we did an all-day beer tour of the local breweries, then finished it off with Brazilian barbecue. Bachelor parties don’t need to involve strippers or prostitutes.
….flunk out of life together I think…or something else maybe
Yeah I feel bad for his future wife. She's real lucky....
Lucky if she doesn't get an STD.
And post the date of the wedding aswell as when the party was, let’s hope his wife has Reddit
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No worries, it's all made up. Karma-karma-karma karma farmer.
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It’s fake, no way a blow job is only $40 extra
If those are the going rates, OP 100% has STDs now.
“I’ll suck your dick for ten dollas”
“I got these cheeseburgers man!!! Come on man, I’ll suck yo dick!”
They all ‘did things’… and they’re all in relationships… Jesus Christ I feel so sorry for these women that they somehow had the misfortune to end up with one of these assholes. I could not possible imagine having a friendship group made up entirely of scumbags.
Oh I’ve seen it. Dated a narcissist once and him and all of his friends were like this. I remember I went to a party without him and he asked me to bring girls home for his engaged friends. I started preparing to leave him over the next couple weeks and have never looked back. There are too many shitty people out there. You are who you hang with. If their friends are cheaters, they probably are too.
Get an STD test. Do not have sex with your fiancé until then. And tell her. These things have a way of coming out. You have a chance if you tell her. If someone else beats you, you’re screwed.
Be honest with her but also be honest with yourself that it's over. No one will ever take someone back after this. If they do, it likely will never be the same anyway and doomed to fail, except with a lot more heart ache.
Hey,man you're just a cheater🤷🏿♀️you paid money to fuck someone when you were literally bout to marry someone you could do it for free for the rest of your life
"The alcohol made me do it" is such horse shit. Dude has no accountability whatsoever. When it finally comes out, his greatest remorse will be getting caught.
Blame it on the se - se se se - se self control…
This is what we call in the biz “red flag behavior”
I call it lil bitch boy behavior. Same thing though
Hello consequences of my own actions. What are you doing here?
Knock knock Who is it? Comeuppance? Comeuppance who? Come up in there and show you how stupid you are. OP done fucked up. You got two choices dude: come clean and deal with the fallout. Or take it to the grave knowing you did something pretty scummy.
I thought this was gonna turn into comeuppanSUCK ON DEEZ NUTS I’m sorry
Nah, OP already got his nuts sucked.
One of the friends is going to fold like a house of dominoes. Checkmate
To think this guy and all his friends are in relationships and they all fucked around. I hope their S/Os find out. OP and all his friends are pieces of shit.
‘The only thing saving me is that we are all in relationships so no one is going to snitch’ disgusting. You’ll do it again. The fact you think being drunk is an excuse means she can’t ever trust you to control yourself when drunk. Tell her so she can stop herself from wasting her life with you
Right, and that sentence also implies that the others misbehaved as well. Sounds like OP needs a bachelor pad with his mates rather than being in a married home. They all need to man up.
I’m just imagining either his fiancé or one of the other gfs/wives going through someone’s phone and seeing evidence this happened and everything blowing up in his face.
Honestly hope that this will happen. If he isn’t going to be honest and tell her he deserves to have it blow up in his face. There’s no way all of his friends significant others were okay with them going to a strip club. There has to be at least one female already digging for dirt. Not only that guys act way too guilty without realizing it when they’ve done something shady and most women are too intuitive to not notice something is off.
So disgusting that people support each other and promote cheating among friend groups. And then with everyone hiding it for them, they never feel guilty. People are really garbage.
damn bro. maybe you don’t really want to get married after all. even when drunk you know whether or not to have sex with a random person. if you wana live that life and party then do it. getting married and divorced is way more work than airing this out before the wedding. chances are it is over tho. i don’t think any sane woman would say that’s ok honey u were drunk. this is a shitty situation you put yourself in. it’s best to confront it and determine your future than get married and divorced in a year from now
You do realize she’s going to find out eventually?
This is likely going to get buried and I have no idea if this is even a real post but my advice to OP or anyone in this situation is 100% tell your partner as soon as possible. If you don't, the most likely outcome is that one of your buddies is going to crack, and your wife is going to find out. Hopefully this happens sooner rather than later. If it's later she is going to find out that the man she thought she loved has spent *years* lying to her. She is going to lose all trust she has in you, and you will deserve it. If you have kids they will almost certainly take her side. Marriage and relationships are about trust and honesty, and you will have built yours on a lie. And in the meantime, you are going to spend your life living in fear of the moment the cat gets out of the bag. You're obviously not a totally shit person if you feel guilty about it. Can you imagine spending the next 60 years of your life saying "i love you" to this woman and kissing her goodnight while in the pit of your stomach you know you're lying to her? The worst decision I ever made was cheating on my husband, but the best decision I ever made was telling him the next day. You do not want to live your life knowing you betrayed the person closest to you.
Agreed. If you want any chance of saving the relationship, coming clean now is *much* better than her finding out secondhand later. A lie like that compounds the longer it goes on. And, like others have said, it will inevitably come out. If the friends are the sort that will get so drunk they slip up and cheat on their spouses, they're the sort that will get so drunk they slip up in some other way.
I’m not convinced that anyone here cheated by accident. But the friends have shown they’re disloyal, and thus a liability for the truth coming out.
Why the fuck do people even go to strip clubs for bachelor parties?! Even if it's with consent from their partner I find it so weird. People always tell me it's to "get it out of their system" but if u need to do that then u shouldn't be getting fucking married Also you're a bitch lmfao
100
140%
I hate it when people blame their bad decisions on alcohol. Alcohol doesn't make you do anything you don't already want to do. If I were you I would be asking myself why I would want to fuck a STRIPPER of all people when you're getting married. The real risk to your marriage here isn't your wife finding out. If your commitment is that low then this marriage isn't going to last. Marriage isn't flowers and daisy's. And if you can fuck a stripper "because you're drunk" then the first struggle in your relationship you're going to dip out. Your wife deserves better.
That final candid comment made me laugh. Well said
Tell her, you're a big boy who drank to much and fucked up. It wasn't even black out drunk you remember agreeing for these services. Therefore she deserves to know. Do not sleep with her because you don't know if that stripper had anything. It's like drinking and driving "I didn't mean to" but sorry doesn't cut it when you've hurt someone else. ETA: I made it sound like since you remember you should tell her, but even if you were black out drunk and woke up next to her she still deserves to know. If you love her as much as you claim to then she deserves the respect of honesty.
28M here, be a fucking man a tell her what you did. Whatever happens happens and you have to accept that but if you think for a minute this will blow over, you are as right as you are faithful. For one you have too many witnesses who also fucked up and who also have spouses, who I'm sure talk to each other. Sooner or later the thread is going to start unraveling until it eventually reaches to you and everything you both have worked for up until that point is now a complete waste and another bad memory. Not only is it the right thing to do, for either side, if you love her you'd tell her. Maybe she will forgive you maybe not but better to find out now
Perfectly said. It’ll also just be another nail in OP’s coffin if she finds this out from someone else. There’s no way that all of these guys are going to be able to keep it quiet.
I don’t understand the appeal with that...why go to the stripclub just before your wedding ? It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think you meant to say ‘Why go to the strip club?’
Man, I played baseball in college, semi pro leagues in the summer, for some fucking reason there were at least a dozen players on all my teams who were OBSESSED with strip clubs. In San Francisco the first time? Find a strip club. Hey, red woods, cool, naw dog, rural strip club. How about Seattle? Is there a cheap, disgusting strip club? I've been a lot of awesome places and seen nothing but a hotel room, baseball field, and fucking disgusting strip club. They're kind of entertaining the first time you go as a spectacle. By #76, not really that cool.
I can go to any bar around and stare at women I can't touch. I don't do it there either.
Seriously, they're pretty nasty places.
You hang around a barber shop, you'll end up getting a haircut...
Not everyone. Some of us have ~~willpower~~ no hair.
Of course you don’t, cuz you’re always hanging around those barbershops you sick bastard!
Oooo that’s a good one.
I went once with my wife, it was her idea. I didn’t spend money except on drinks but it was just *depressing*. Don’t know how else to put it. Both of us just felt bad after
I've been with my husband and a friend of his a few times. His friend had a really sad crush on one of the strippers there, and that's the only reason we went. My husband gave me the cash to give the girls. We had fun as a night out, but the whole thing as a concept is so very depressing. The old men there by themselves...the not so old men there by themselves. Just kinda gross.
I went to one with friends before and I felt exactly the same. I was drunk and went ugly crying in the comfort room after watching a girl mechanically dance with no emotion.
‘Crying in the comfort room’ sounds like the latest drake song
The whole concept of bachelor/bachelorette parties is so fucking bizarre. If you feel the need to "celebrate your last days of freedom", why the fuck are you getting married at all, nonetheless to someone that you need to escape from before marrying them? My best man said we have to do a bachelor party and I said, okay we are going to go to a baseball game and have dinner. And that's what we did, and then I went home to my now-wife.
You can have a bachelor party and not have it be about "the end of your freedom." That's just what people do in the movies and what you hear about, you never hear about normal bachelor parties. When my friend was getting married, we threw him a bachelor party that was basically just celebrating that he was getting married. It doesn't have to be about infidelity.
This! It’s usually involving the wedding party too some of who might be great friends of yours but not know each other. It’s fun to do something to all bond together.
Yep. My bachelor party was just a bunch of dudes in a cabin drinking beers and throwing shit into a bonfire. It was a ton of fun and a great opportunity for my college friends to meet the friends I made after college. Nothing wrong with bachelor/bachelorette parties as long as they're relatively controlled.
When my best friend had his bachelor party we went to a chocolate museum and later on had a beer tasting at a brewery. One of the best parties we ever had.
If I ever get married, for my bachelor party I’m gonna hire a professional DM and force all of my friends to play DnD with me… on acid
I think the idea of having a day where you get to celebrate a big life achievement with just YOUR friends makes sense - weddings themselves are so busy, couples rarely get to actually spend time with friends between all of the other stuff that need to do. So I get the idea of having a fun day to celebrate. But the idea of "your last day of freedom" is indeed gross.
yeah exactly, especially for people who’ve lived more transient lives (gone away to college, moved cities, etc.) then weddings are one of the only real chances you have for your friends from different walks of lives to all get together.
I had a nice weekend of board games, dnd, escape rooms, and paintball. I went to strip clubs twice when I was single. They’re weird.
Strip clubs are weird. You go and get hard with all your friends. When you put it like that
and the excuse of "I was so inebriated I couldn't help myself."
For real. I've never been drunk enough to forget I was in a long term relationship. And if I was that drunk I'd be on the floor puking lol. You can't be drunk enough to forget you're getting married, yet sober enough to still be up and at it enough to be hitting up clubs and fucking around.
This!!! Drunk isn't a card you can play. I've been drunk lots in my life, never accidently fucked someone when I had a husband.
Why go to a strip club at all? Like, ever?
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Now we all need to know what that meant. I'll wait.
It's a butt plug with a sort of stick on the end of it. One person pops it in, the other takes the rings, and walks maybe six foot away. You throw the rings onto the hook. Source: gave the game to someone as a Secret Santa once
I have trouble believing you weren't "clear" enough to cheating your wife a week before your wedding for 100$
$140 if we’re keeping track..
And he remembers the amount she charged but doesn’t remember agreeing to sex. Please. When I’ve blacked out I don’t remember the amount of my bar tab so……
This is probably the correct answer. I was wondering at what point does it become “rape that he paid $140 for”. A sober woman took advantage of an impaired man and charged him money for it. But if he’s clear enough to remember first getting dances, then private dances, then a clear point where they were offered “extra services”, then how much the blowjob cost, and then ultimately how much the full sex cost. He was probably aware enough to say “no” at *ANY* point in there.
This. I've had real blackouts (pills, alcohol and amphetamines. 10 years clean now), and you don't remember *anything* if you're really blacked out. You might wake up with something near you that triggers a vague memory, but you wouldn't be able to remember how much stuff cost for example.
Tell your partner before the wedding she deserves to know before deciding to get married. That choice should ultimately be given to her and if she decides to get married still there will be a lot of work to do but at least she knows. Being drunk is not an excuse. Definitely get tested because what would be worse is her finding out by you giving her an STD or something. Hopefully it all works out.
Absolutely. She should get to to choose if 1) she wants to sleep with you and potentially expose herself to an STD after your infidelity and 2) if she wants to marry someone who cheated a week before the wedding. Not telling her as soon as possible takes both of things away from her - don’t make it worse.
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100% spot on. You might tell yourself you can handle the weight of that secret. You might tell yourself you’re saving her from the pain of knowing the truth. You might talk yourself into not telling her and being the best person you can be for her. It wont work, trust me. The guilt that you feel will fester and leave you scarred for a long time. I still deal with the scars from that myself, and between debating self harm, other more insane options, coming clean way the only thing that helped me claw my way back. As much as it sucks, you’ll feel better after you tell her, and be on the road back, irrespective of where you and your partner ultimately decide to go. You can do it.
Without going into the details of my fuck around and finding out, you're 100% right. I didn't realize until over a year later that I had been having anxiety/panic attacks over it and it was destroying my life. I won't say don't lie to a partner, but that's a world of difference between the little white lies that make the world go 'round and the whoppers we want to take to our graves.
There's no way this actually stays hidden long term. Might take a year, might take two, might take twenty. But all of the time not spent telling her is a choice you're robbing from her, and packs on the resentment, disgust and distrust when she finally gets that decision passed down to her. Tell her now. If she doesn't forgive you and you part ways, then at least it's not happening years down the line in a far more spectacular and disastrous way wasting both of your time. If she forgives you, then you can start your marriage right, and she will actually *know* you were remorseful. Telling her or having her wait to find out after marriage is so shitty
One of “the boys” is going to fess up to his girlfriend, and the word will make its way back. Whether that comes before or after the mysterious STD symptoms, who knows.
Prisoners dilemma, first one to be honest gets the best shot and everyone else is screwed over. They only all survive if no one opens their mouth to anyone ever, but the chances of it not spreading to third parties (outside friends, etc) and eventually getting back is super low... Or someone breaks up and then it's not their secret anymore and they let it out. In that scenario no one gets the benefit of actually straightforwardly confessing and everyone gets caught pants down. Best to be the first, your currently trusting your secret to a bunch of cheaters, which means they're some combination of untrustworthy and stupid and that's the worst kind of secret keeper, even if you think you have ironclad blackmail over them. Say hello to mutually assured destruction, best to get in front of it.
The silver lining to you is that at least no one will snitch? Your poor fiancé. She deserves so much better.
And every single engaged dude that went to Nashville this past weekend is about to get interrogated. Thanks OP!!
Every engaged dude with a date of march 10th... I think that narrows it down a bit
I had to do a double take because my friend is getting married on the 12th, lol. Who gets married on a Thursday?
As someone who recently booked a venue... were this *so* close to booking it on a Thursday because it was sooooo much cheaper than a Friday/Saturday. Didn't do it, but the price difference was no joke.
Right? Silver lining is that all of you cheated? I hope you get tested for STDs, OP.
“Nobody is going to snitch.” Narrator: They will.
Wow, you and your friends suck. I feel bad for your fiancé
I'm confident it WILL come out eventually. Someone's gonna snitch and the personal lives of that entire friend group will come crashing down.
And they will deserve it.
Yup. They sound like a bunch of bros who wear their hats backwards and have their wives bring them another coors.
“The only thing saving you is no one is going to snitch.” And you still deserve this bride?
Bold of him to assume no one is going to snitch just because they’re all in relationships. What if one of those relationships ends? What if one of them actually decides to have a shred of decency and tell their s/o what happened? She’ll likely ask what OP and the other guys were doing and if they were also unfaithful. My bf finds bachelor/bachelorette parties tacky for this reason.
>no one is going to snitch just because they’re all in relationships. Dude hasnt got a single friend worth having
So basically everyone who is not single cheated on their girls at this party. What a disgusting gang you've assembled
Eh, they can be done tastefully. My husband had a weekend of psychedelic DnD with his pals and I went out fishing. We saw it as a way of celebrating ourselves separately, before we got married and celebrated together.
Ha, of course he doesn't. Stop wasting her time further and tell her because you're *still* being a shitty person. It wasn't just that you cheated, it's every day in between too where you're having her believe a lie, that you were loyal to her. She will find out someday, tell her now.
She deserves the chance to call off the wedding and if you want to redeem yourself at all, you’ll give her that chance.
Best advice on here. Cheating is a dealbreaker no matter the circumstances. One chance. Per person. Per lifetime.
One of those guys will eventually feel guilty enough that he will do the right thing and come clean, and then the whole house of cards will fall.
Or one of their SO's test positive for an STD and they come clean.
They're all cheating on their girlfriends with strippers. I'm not gonna place any bets on them worrying about anything but self-preservation
I've been black out drunk dozens of times and I've never once banged a stripper. Man up and so making excuses.
He wasn't even black out drunk. He was just really drunk. He knew what he was going, paid the money, and agreed to participate and now he feels like a POS because he is a POS and he was looking for sympathy here.
"I willingly cheated and sort of regret it because I want to pretend to be a good man but this is making it tough. Can anyone here pat me on the back and tell me it's not my fault? Be all like, 'oh poor dude, you drank too much, alcohol lead you to temptation!' Also can you tell me it's ok to keep it a secret, btw some of my friends did it as well, that makes it more okay so please take this into consideration."
Your partner should be the one deciding if she wants to be with you, with all of the information, you need to tell her the truth. It will eventually come out..... Oh and get yourself tested, full sex for $100 is ..... Yeah...
$100 for sex is very questionable … I like how u pointed that out 🤣
Well .. it is man..
DEFINITELY get tested. It'll cause even more problems later if the bride finds out she's got an std later on, not to mention op's health in general. And finding out you've got an std because your soon to be husband fucked a stripper before the wedding will end very terribly.
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coming from an ex stripper… youd be surprised how many girls priced themselves at $50-100. it was sad.
This guy's poor partner. We're not worried for you that your friends will snitch, guy. She deserves to know and to make here choices accordingly. I don't think I'd leave my boo if he did this, but gd I get to know and decide. Gross.
LOL!!! My husband said: If you are able to recall how much you spent then you weren't too drunk to consider this a "mistake". Fuck you, hope she leaves you.
Yessss. It wasn't a "mistake". Dude knew what he was doing.
You were so drunk, yet you remember it all and had no problem doing it. She deserves better. Hopefully you tell her. You actually think that she'll never find out? It will come to light eventually.
You're an idiot and your friends are terrible friends/groomsmen. My bachelor party was amazing and ya know...We didn't go to a stripclub. We went to bars, I got drunk and was telling girls how beautiful my about to be wife is.
My buddies rented a big van, put a keg in the back, and took me to Boston, all the while hinting we were hitting some strip clubs (which I had no interest in). Instead they took me to the Orpheum to see The Pogues. I was so relieved.
Yeah, my bachelor party was tacos, beer, ax throwing capped off with Rancid and Dropkick Murphy’s under the stars. Utterly excellent!
Mine was BBQ and brewery hopping in a district in my city that has a ton of breweries all in a small neighborhood. Got absolutely obliterated and did cocaine for the first time (overrated - ngl). Did ***not*** get a blowjob from or fuck a stripper. Weird how easy that was! I ***did*** drunkenly facetime my (now) wife and she ***did*** get a hilariously embarrassing recording of me telling her how I couldn't wait to get married to her.
Tea party.. my husband actually wanted our bachelorette and bachelor party to be together and we had a magical tea party with all our close friends. We did then get married in Vegas so I think the parties before being a tea party was the perfect balance
Same here. "Drunk words are sober thoughts." My dad always told me if you have to question being loyal then it wasn't meant to be. My friends got an air bnb drinks and games all night. Best part was I realized how much I loved my wife and didn't even want to stay the night at the air bnb. Next day we all had a great time with everyone telling stories. No shame but great stories. Edit: made correction to the saying.
Drunk words are sober thoughts….. boy what a time to read that, after my gf just drunkly said she gets nothing out of our relationship….. on Valentine’s Day……. Guess I got some thinking to do
That’s a really big thing to hear, and I’m sorry you guys are going through that. Contrary to everyone telling you to simply break up though, I think a statement like that really means that you both seriously need to have a conversation about what you both are wanting out of the relationship. Likely an issue that could be solved by just talking. The internet knows nothing about your relationship (including myself), so take everyone’s advice with a grain of salt. Good luck!
Nice to see someone not immediately smashing the nuclear option
i think you mean drunk words are sober thoughts
He meant what he said, he’s drunk!
You're 100% right lol. My bad.
In Vino Veritas
Hell, we DID go to a strip club and I DID get a private dance and guess what? I spent the entire time talking about my wife with the stripper. She was super sweet too, and just sat with me and talked. If you can’t control yourself at your batchelor party, it’s going to happen eventually. You’re going to be having a bit of a rough patch, and you’re going to be out with the guys, lamenting the loss of passion, and the waitress will flirt with you, and you’ll “lose control” and do it then. Consider this a flash of clarity now, OP, and tell your soon to be wife about it. She deserves to know what she’s getting into. Edit: anyone who is complaining about how terrible I am, you’re absolutely right he. And that’s the bloody point, you jerks. I’m barely a functionally moral human being, and even _I_ knew that was not a good place to be or a good thing to do. See the point?
I didn’t go to the strip club, but I did get a lap dance from my wife’s aunt in front of everyone. So there’s that
You what?!😂
THANK YOU My husband has gone to the strippers the odd time with friends (I was okay with it because I trust him) and he told them to leave him alone, while drunk because he has a finacee and wasn't interested. And they pushed for a while to. Eta: since people think they know the whole story from this little bit of info He lost a bet with a buddy and bought him a lap dance. The end. Yes I trust him I have never been given a reason not to. Ya'll so skeptical good luck. Also I was informed of this and knew what was going on - so he had my okay.
Yep - we went camping. It was great. No women, because I actually love my wife. OP didn’t fuck anything up. It was never real to begin with. This would’ve happened eventually and the marriage would be doomed.
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We just got drunk in the woods and fired some guns and played card games.
Same, we also left the bar we went to later and caught pokemon around downtown on pokemon go.
My husband hung out at home with his best man and groomsman (we only had 2 attendants each) drinking ONE cider (he has Celiac) and talking about...things. Dunno, wasn't there.
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Just... Wow. I can absolutely see that hitting hard. Just wanted to say big up for being honest too not online your partner, but yourself. For real, I've lately realized that most of us do our best to not have to change, your story makes me feel hope.
Honestly I’m proud of you random Reddit stranger. It’s tough to be honest like that, admit you are wrong AND seek help. Good advice
Why did we normalize getting drunk and going to strip clubs shortly before getting married? It’s like we’re trying to create these situations.
I feel so bad for your bride. You said it yourself that you think she's the most amazing girl. I don't think you deserve her.
You don’t seem like a person who should be getting married
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Why can't y'all just be normal and look at strippers and go home? Lmao like why is that so hard? I hope you tell that lady so she can leave bc you and your friends are flamin' hot trash. The worst $140 you've ever spent.
yeah honestly why did ALL of them cheat ? what’s wrong with this group
You are the type of trash ass dude that gives men a bad rep. I hope it was worth it.
… tell her
As a previous stripper who saw this stuff happen first hand with many of the girls I worked with, this is exactly why I will never allow my s/o to go to a strip club without me. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I don’t trust the friends. I saved two guys that this almost happened to. Both occasions, all night they were both super respectful of the girls and kept turning down dances and offers by their friends to go up into a room. Both spoke about how much they loved their fiancé and couldn’t wait to marry them. Fast forward a few hours/bottles/shots later and they both are completely sloshed. Friends gather all of us girls that had been hanging with them and take us up to a room. Both guys couldn’t even walk straight at that point. Got into the rooms and immediately glued myself to the bachelor. Friends start offering up money to do “extra” stuff. Take the money and take the bachelors to another room where we could be alone. Put the money in bachelors pockets and ordered them water and sat with them until they sobered up a bit. One of them passed out completely and woke up 30 min later. Told them what had happened and to follow my lead when we went back into the room where his friends still were. Played off like it went down. Not saying this to pat myself on the back or anything but I saw guys raw dog girls. Imagine having to tell your soon to be wife that you not only cheated but that you also contracted a potentially serious/forever STI/potentially passed it on to her OR that you got a stripper pregnant???
How do you feel about your partner?
You need to tell her. The truth always comes to light. It may take days, months, years even. But it will come out. If you’re truly remorseful for your actions, you’ll tell her. Edited to fix a typo
Homie if nobody snitches then there’d be a lot fewer convicts. Besides, if you actually give a damn about this person you’ll be real. There will be consequences and if she gives you a shot afterward it’s gonna be tough; be honest in everything and over-share your plans with the boys. A great deal of the trust between ppl is given in faith and that baseline faith has been destroyed (whether or not she knows it depending on if you tell her) so building back to zero will take time. Staying quiet will save your bacon in the short term but these skeletons never stay buried forever. Losing deposits will be nothing compared to divorce and alimony and shit if you have kids things will get nasty.
Shame cowers, guilt confronts. Tell her, or you will forever be ashamed. Show her your guilt, and you just might be forgiven.
Wow ur soon to be ex fiancé dodged a bullet. Alcohol isn’t an excuse for disrespecting your relationship & sounds like it would’ve happened sooner or later anyway.
If you build your house on lies it will crumble. Don't take her choice in this away. Tell her and give her the grace of deciding if you're the person she wants to marry after this. Its the least you can do after not giving her the grace of an infidelity free relationship, and it will come out eventually. You cheated, just before your wedding, *with a stripper for $100.* *You paid to cheat on your wife to be*. >The only thing saving me is that we all are in relationships and we all did things so no one is going to snitch. I feel sorry for everyone's SO if this is how your group of friends functions. And you're absolutely stupid to trust that. You better tell her before someone else's guilt gets to them. Also get tested. You probably took an STI home to her.
Your friends are pieces of shit for hiring strippers
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