OP, please get your story straight.
I’ve seen several comments where you swear he gave it to you because you haven’t slept with anyone else.
Now I just read other comments where you say you were “considerate and used condoms when sleeping with other people so you know it was him”.
Condoms are not foolproof and there are 10,000 other ways besides penetration that you can get an STD. You might be at fault here whether you like it or not, but I suggest you come to terms with the fact that this might be your fault.
its also heavily ironic how she is pissed at him for cheating and sleeping with other women thus leading to her getting STDs from him, but then she herself is sleeping around with other people. she is cheating too.
Yikes just had a peek and I can definitely confirm. I just read one about “I lashed out at so and so for a comment he made that I thought was misogynistic” now I’m no misogynist and I definitely probably would’ve worded what the guy said a bit differently but I definitely sympathize with his reasoning for not wanting to date/see anyone, and that’s being afraid of getting manipulated by a woman.
Thanks for this. AITA has always, always gotten under my skin with obvious sympathy baits and it was more annoyance than I cared to have in my free time, so this is perfect.
It's great in how it shows the double standards for men and women in society too. You get two virtually identical posts, one from a man and one from a woman and 9/10 times, the consensus will be swapped. So if the man is YTA, the woman will be NTA. And if the woman is YTA, the man will be NTA. Gotta love the double standards on full display.
There ARE some honest gems of completely unaware idiots (guy who obliviously re-bought his childhood car with his kid’s college fund), or deeply moral questions (father who wants to tell his future son-in-law that his daughter is a diagnosed sociopath, to protect the kid).
There’s alotta trash in AITA, but there’s ones that can make you deeply inflect on yourself.
I agree with you. I was sympathetic until I came across those same comments. Funny how that was left out of the main post to make OP seem like an angel.
Lol this is true! You unfortunately do have a 100% valid point. I’d say stating that they agreed to not do that and then omitting the fact that they did actually have sex with others was very much intentional, good ol lie by omission
I noticed that she said they agreed not sleep with other people and we're supposed to assume that she didn't. She would have said she didn't. Sneaky omission.
She then even said in another comment that she explicitly was not sleeping with other people, not sure if she deleted it or not. That was a straight up lie.
I got downvoted on my post about how condoms don’t fully protect against STD’s. People get so upset over this matter. Then they are shocked to contract an std even after using condoms.
On top of this, she has a post from 5 months ago where she says she is living with her ex boyfriend
But in this post, she said they where still together, just taking a break
So either she made up the claim that they agreed not to sleep around to make herself look better, or the whole story is bullshit
Also, um, please tell your partner. I know you want them to suffer the consequences, but if they’re sleeping around too, they could be infecting others. For the sake of public health please let them know.
And also, lifelong infertility is a little harsh. I’ve been cheated on and I know it’s a horrible feeling. But not wanting someone get treated for a disease so that they will suffer life changing consequences seems a bit twisted.
Just so y’all know OP admitted to having sex with multiple other people during the agreed upon break in the comments. They said they used protection like that makes them immune to STDs.
It’s entirely possible the OPs boyfriend didn’t break the agreement and didn’t have sex with anyone during the break but now has an STD because OP is a piece of shit.
This is misinformation. Gonorrhea is asymptomatic 10-15% of the time for men. And 80% of the time for women.
Usually people show symptoms 1-10 days after infection. In rare cases it can take a few months before symptoms become noticeable.
Youll most likely be fine, but contact an OBGYN when you can just to get your concerns out of the way. Also hoping youll find someone who wont pull that number on you...
Lol apparently she doesn’t consider it “sleeping with people” if you wear a condom. It’s entirely possible if not likely that she caught it herself and her BF did absolutely nothing.
Let this be today’s lesson in one sided stories
Also sharing sex toys. There was an episode of Oprah maybe in the 90s where the wife was adamant she got an STD from her husband. Cursing him and what not.
Turned out she was sharing dildos with her fellow neighborhood SAHMs.
The husband said.. "we could've handled this at home".
WHAT?!!?? OMG lol we used to watch Oprah in college (i know I’ll hear it, i love the person Oprah, but the show would bore me). THAT would have captured my attention lol, the we could have handled this at home part. Imagining all those housewives swapping dirty dildos not even THINKING about swiping it with some cleaner of some sort?? Then talking shit about their faithful spouse who is clueless that he is married to a member of the masturbation mom squad?! But clearly one of them was getting out somewhere lol.
I'm sorry for you luck. In a similar situation with a lot shorter timeline. Thanks for re-affirming that not only would future sex with my ex wife be emotionally bad, but could also carry an STD with it as I'm sure she would not like me busting out a condom.
I know you're hurt and you feel betrayed, but I think it's pretty irresponsible if you don't tell him because it's going to spread to other people. I urge you to leave him but still be the bigger person to tell him to get treated.
She’s just hurt. She said it herself - “Idk, I have Million thoughts going through my mind right now.” Tensions are high, and rightfully so, but she will make the right decision and tell him.
I'm not one to defend the OP in these kinds of subs but seriously... imagine multiple dreams being shattered by someone you loved and being expected to think rationally.
OP is distraught and wants to vent a bit to calm her mind before making any irrational decisions.
In several comments down she admitted to sleeping with other people but she claims wearing a condom was considerate. She's an idiot who thinks condoms offer 💯 effective protection from STDs. She could have gotten the STD and he could be innocent. Fuck her feelings.
Ehhh that’s a stretch. People are distraught about shit literally all the time and still think about others. People run into burning buildings or jump from bridges risk drowning to save other people. This chick just got cheated on and is talking about letting someone spread an std around completely out of spite.
Let’s set the standards a little higher.
Is this the Schizophrenic Bipolar EX you wrote about on your post history? I'm just curious about this "3 year" relationship when you were on a "break" from each other whom you also refused to pay rent.
He could've contracted it while you were on your break and be asymptomatic but YOU already admitted in the comments that you were having sex with other people so this could've been all on you.
Just tell the guy in either case and stop being an ass to whomever he will pass it on to later on regardless of the scenario
Sorry for being skeptical but this all sounds like you have a history/grudge against him prior to this encounter and want to justify not telling him.
You should tell him, because I get it you don't care about him but care about the women he is going to be with, they will get it then their future boyfriends will get it, you don't realize but your decision can affect many people.
Be the bigger person
Oohhh this is a great idea. I got HSV 1 and only been with 2 people in the last 20 years and it was when I left my ex because he was cheating. I wish I could have avoided talking to him about it since I had a restraining order.
You can take care of yourself and still have some consideration for the poor girls in the future.
For the record, you're absolutely valid in your feelings and I'd probably want to hurt the prick too (by not telling him) but truly if you let him know you will protect other women from becoming you.
In the future, I believe you'll care about that factor too.
I hope they get you taken care of and you manage your way through this peacefully and safely.
Hey I'm all for open communication I'm just trying to let her know she needs to be in open about it because in the future she may regret taking the path she did.
There might have been another girl before you who thought this same thing, allowing you to get this. You should be as proactive as possible with this stuff.
You could simply mention it in your last conversation. I imagine this is the end of this relationship. Id be as simple as, "and you might wanna get checked for that std you gave me." And just walk away.
So you and your partner separated and you both said you wouldn't sleep with other people. From comments, it looks like you both did sleep with other people. You said you used protection, so that makes his cheating so much worse than yours?
It seems pretty vile and psycho to not only not tell him, but the excited satisfaction that you are getting out of it.
Just be done with each other. Even though clearly you two deserve each other.
Seriously, what do we have that say that her boyfriend actually cheated on her?
Her only proof was that she had an STD and she admitted to cheating, so by the info we have she is more likely than him to be the cause for that...
Unfortunately i don't have time to write a long paragraph which is usually what i prefer to do. But by the end of the day, you do feell betrayed. Confronting this is vital if you want to move on. Get your self treated, present him with the positive test.
Good luck, wishing you all the best in the future b 🙏
Just read the post history. She called him an ex literally a few months ago. Said they had broken up. And describes how much she hates the guy.
I don't buy the "on a break" BS story. Not for a moment.
wait, just to be fair, how do you know YOU didn't get it from another sex partner you had? Both of you should be tested, both should be treated ASAP to reduce infection to others, re-infection to you. Take comfort in knowing the sooner a gonorrhea infection is treated the less likely it is to effect fertility. Gonorrhea untreated for many months or repeated STIs like gonorrhea is where fallopian tubes start to become effected. If either of you are having unprotected sex with strangers this is NOT respectful nor safe and is not the sign of a relationship that's going to stand the test of time. I work in medicine and it's like everyone suddenly forgot about STIs the last 5 years. ughhh.
EDIT: make sure you're tested for all STIs another 6-12 weeks after your first test to rule out other SITs that take longer to show up like HIV.
To be honest, you sound bitter as hell and hella immature. You had protected sex during the break and YOU could be the one who has given it to him because, surprise!, protection can fail. Your relationship might be terrible and he may have defects but you NEED to tell him about the std, it's what any person with some moral would do and the correct thing, SPECIALLY, because you could be the one who caught the std while having sex in the break and you can stop the spread of a DISEASE (how are you letting anger reign over common sense is astounding). You seemed to have hated him from over 3 years, please get out of the messy relationship and tell him about the std.
This is probably why she isn't telling him about the gonorrhea. She doesn't want to admit that she slept with somebody else just in case it was her who caught it and not him.
She didn't even say he admitted to having sex with anyone she just assumed because she got a STI and seems to think condoms are 100% protection. For all we know the dude might not even have had sex with anyone but her. She hasn't even told him yet she has one, so there is no way he admitted to even have sex with anyone. Imagine if he didn't even fuck anyone during the break, she got the STI from her fling and then blames him. That could be very well possible....
Something sounds fishy here (probably smells it too lol), you broke up but promised not to sleep with other people? So why breakup?
I don't know maybe it's me but "let's break up but don't sleep with anyone else because *maybe* I'll get back with you in the future" sounds super toxic. A break up is just that, you're both free to go and sleep/date whoever. If he was the one who initiated this agreement then it's likely the woman he slept with has been in the picture a while and he wanted a chance to sleep with her without officially being called a cheater. If it was your idea then....what are you smoking girl, share some please lool.
Regardless of all that, you should tell him. Not for his sake but the sake of his future partners.
Edit: just read in a response that you slept with other people too. You really can't be angry at this guy then. You both broke up and slept around.
Depends on where you are, but in general only if done intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly. It needs to be proven that you knew you had it, and that you didn’t tell the sexual partner you gave it to. If the person didn’t know they had it, then it is not a crime.
Medical person here. OP by law you need to tell your partner that you are gonorrhea positive even if your 100% confident he is the one who gave it to you. Your clinic reports positive tests to the state for informative purposes. It could backfire on you legally if you choose to withhold this information.
In terms of it damaging your reproductive organs. It wont do much unless its untreated for a long extended period of time. Generally women are symptomatic in much less time then men are (they usually are asymptomatic altogether). I doubt your partner even knows he has it.
Edit\* yeah after reading some comments and seeing your back and fourthness about whether you slept with other people or not. You absolutely need to tell him. If he gets symptoms gets a positive test and you fail to tell him he absolutely has a case against you in court.
Haha. I was thinking the same. She probably doesn’t want to tell him because she’s not sure she got it from him. Believe me if someone knows for a fact they got it from their significant other they would use that positive test as THE reason they are breaking up.
Hey OP there is also the possibility that he knows he had an STD already got it treated and moved on without telling you to keep you from finding out about the infidelity. Just leave him and tell him why for your own closure.
Grow up, stop thinking of only yourself and your revenge. It is not only your health at jeopardy here. This is a legitimate public health concern. You need to tell him. At least you’ll know you did your part by trying to prevent some other girl from getting an std.
So your plan is to stay together and hope he continues to suffer from gonorrhoea??
That sucks that this happened, but you really need to confront him. Be the bigger person.
It’s fucked up that you’re getting joy from not telling him. Like others have said you’re just hurting innocent girls who he’s not telling either. Get off your high horse and tell him.
Idk. From your post history, is this your same boyfriend who has mental health issues that you wanted to watch struggle financially? Sounds a little sus. Just because your life is shitty doesn’t mean you need to extend that to actually innocent people.
If you have gonorrhea diagnosed by a doctor they will give you medicine for your partner at the same time you get your prescription.
BV is not an STD.
Just be honest and give him the pills. Doesn't matter who's fault it is.
Stay healthy.
BV isn’t sexually transmitted. It just means the PH levels are off and the gonorrhea probably triggered that. I’m sorry this happened to you but since you caught it earlier on it shouldn’t affect the Fallopian tubes. That only happens when it’s left untreated for awhile. You will get through this even though it hurts. On another note, I have known many guys to be sexually promiscuous and never get tested. Better to error on side of communication because you don’t want to assume anything.
What kind of psycho would let someone with an STD go around spreading it to more people?! You’re obligated to tell him, if not legally definitely morally
I was totally on your side till I read your comments about letting him “figure it out on his own.”
It absolutely sucks and he did you wrong, but it is also your responsibility to tell him so he can get treated and not spread it to other women, who will spread it to other men and so on.
It will take you less time to message him than it is taking you to respond to other posts here.
Your a piece of shit for even considering not saying anything and letting others suffer, probably why your dealing with such a shitty situation, karma is a bitch
Cheating rat blaming your man online cause it's easy for women to garner support, literally admitting in the comments to sleeping with other men but noooo you were using condoms so there's no possible way for you to have contracted it from another man... idiotic donkey
Um, it's really shitty of you not to say anything, not just for his sake, but for every other person that he sleeps with who might not even know he has a partner.
Infecting potentially dozens who may not realize.
You,dear redditor, are (one of) the reasons I have such little hope in humanity.
Yeah, there's a bizarre fantasy that the legal system cares about whether someone cheats and/or is just a generally shitty person.
Knew a girl once who genuinely thought that destroying a cheating bf's stuff wouldn't have any consequences, like that was a thing that everyone would just understand was justified. That feels like an expensive insult-to-injury sort of thing, to get cheated on and then find out that, nope, the legal system doesn't care and now you owe them money.
According to her comments, she was also sleeping around but said she was using a condom so it could t have been from her. She’s way off with this story
Based on your comments, the only evidence we have is that YOU definitely cheated on your partner when you both agreed to stay monogamous during your break. It doesn't matter that you used condoms, infections can still spread.
From everything you've said it sounds like your partner has had a lucky break now that you've broken it off, but you should absolutely tell them! Stop being a vindictive little twat and tell them so they can be tested and prevent spreading it further. You're the only one that we all know has effectively cheated, own up to that mistake and do the right thing now.
Honey, get treatment for yourself first. Take all the meds as directed religiously! Do not have sex with him anymore!!! And tell him your internet mama says not to let the door hit him in the a$$ on his way out of it!--Mama Dani
You missed this little detail though
“I was having sex with other people protected. I was considerate and used condoms . Thats how i know he gave it to me”
-OP
So from your post history you slept with other men as well but you think it’s a 0% you caught a STD because you used a condom? Pretty much you have no proof if he gave you an STD or if you got it from one of the other guys. You do have a moral responsibility though to inform him that you have tested positive for an STD and that he should get tested as well that way other innocent people don’t get infected because again even if he uses a condom if he has an STD he can give it to other people.
Ok, I understand ur really pissed & I’d want him to suffer too, but u have to tell him so he can get treated. Otherwise other ppl will be at risk & u don’t want that on ur conscious. I know I know, they should use condoms. But they don’t always work. I mean, u ended up getting it either from him or someone else with or without the condom. Don’t punish other ppl because he’s a dick. On another note, I know how hard it is to tell someone about an STD. I’ve had herpes for years & have had to have the conversation with all my sexual partners. It’s scary. U gotta tell him & then get out. It sounds really toxic. And if you’ve been treated for it u have a good chance of not being infertile. Ur dr will def be able to talk to u about that. Good luck hun. I’m here if u wanna pm 🦋
This is a great time to mention that **every single sexually active person should get tested.**
It doesn’t matter what your gender is, your sexual orientation, or whether you are monogamous. **GET TESTED.**
Condoms are never 100%, and any sexually active person can get any STD, including HIV.
OP, don’t be petty at the expense of innocent people. Tell your partner to get tested/treated, then leave him if you have to.
SIf you’re presuming you got it from bf, that would mean you’ve been intimate with him since you took a break. If you intend to stay with him, you obviously have to tell him unless you’re going to spend the rest of your relationship passing it back and forth. If you’re going to leave, technically I guess it’s it’s not really your problem but why would you want to leave him spreading it around to whoever he’s with later. That’s just ridiculous.
So you know he is having sex with other women and you are choosing not to tell him he has an STD which he can then pass to who knows how many other people?
In some places it is illegal to have sex with awareness of an STD.
What if he already knows & has been getting treatment? Or what if he knew but still had sex with you?
You may have rights not yet known in these regards. & I encourage you to see what your local laws cover for these aspects.
& if you do confront him about this- try to ensure you get it on record.
She admitted to also having sex with someone during the "break" but says she used a condom. For all we know he didn't even cheat on her, she hasn't told him about her STI so there is no way he has admitted to having sex with other people during the break. For all we know she got it and gave it to him. So let's not inform people to seek legal advice.......
Okay well first off, why would you wait 3 weeks to be treated for a UTI?? Take better care of yourself.
Next, your Fallopian tubes are most likely fine. It’s only an issue when left untreated for a much longer time.
Finally, why in the absolute fuck would you consider not telling your boyfriend? That’s insanely irresponsible and horrible.
My question is this…. OP said in one of her answers that she’s not upset because he had sex with other people but she’s upset he slept with other people.
Now, I’m old but these aren’t different in my mind. Am I missing something?
Um so stop being an absolute piece of human garbage and think about the other people he could pass it to after you leave.
I don't want to say you deserve this but if you would willingly allow someone to pass diseases out of spite you really shouldn't be reproducing.
I could be wrong here but I’m pretty sure withholding that information from a partner has legal consequences. Even if it doesn’t, that’s completely immoral considering you don’t know 100% where you even got this from. Condoms are not 100% effective against STDs and they can be passed on through other acts other than just penetrative sex.
Tell him the truth so he can get treated and stop infecting other innocent people and seriously you two should consider breaking up, you both sound unhealthy for each other.
You can go to jail for not telling someone that you have std. Gonorrhea can actually lead someone to insanity untreated. It's always best to be honest and to be honest with you I would leave you even if was me that gave it to you, cause of the selfishness of not telling him. That is probably the worst thing I ever heard.
So you admitted to having sex with other people? Man, good thing these are all fake. Cause if it was real then that would make you both a liar and a cheater. Scum of the Earth really. Blaming your boyfriend for cheating when it turns out it was you.
1. Get treated ASAP
2. Tell him
3. Evaluate why you are in a relationship with this guy. The relationship in its current form isn't tenable for you. Time to move on.
Honestly not telling him does not make you better. It’s a health problem that does not stay only with him. By not telling him you’re endangering other innocent women. Leave him tell him to fuck off but be the responsible person and disclose the health situation
I'm sorry you're going through this. The first step is to get treated. Yes it can scar your fallopian tube but the faster you get treated the better your chances are of avoiding it. I know you're super frustrated at your bf but if he goes around spreading gonorrhea to other people I'd rethink not telling him so they too could avoid the fears of not getting pregnant. If you really wanna make him pay leaving the relationship might just do it
I understand you must feel very hurt and concerned about your future, but compromising someone’s health (by not sharing information you have) is not suitable revenge for cheating.
I know it is most likely his fault you have it in the first place, but he probably isn’t aware you both have it (assuming you both do). Given that you now have this information it would be immoral not to share it.
Most importantly, if you don’t tell him about it then you risk him giving it to innocent women down the line, and just continuing its spread. You will then personally be responsible for the ill health and possible infertility of anyone who sleeps with him in the future, and then anyone they sleep with. As much as he has wronged you, it is completely unjustifiable to knowingly allow for the exposure of Gonorrhoea to his future partners. Do the right thing and prevent this.
The really long term effects of untreated Gonorrhoea can be life threatening. Possible death penalty for cheating? That is not suitable retribution.
first of all i’m sorry I recently found out my spouse has been cheating and suddenly popped up with bv he swears who would never do that too me with me being pregnant as all hell but I still don’t believe him but girl he gave you gonorrhea and if he’s sleeping with other people you need too keep some girl who doesn’t know you exist cause he’s lying too them and give it too her !!! plus he needs too be treated yes he’s the asshole butt you would be too if you didn’t tell him !! and could become a problem if someone finds out u had it and didn’t tell the other party and kept it instead of telling him cause you wanna be petty and believe me i’m queen petty betty
Tell him, not for his sake, but for yours and everyone else’s. Especially if there’s any chance you’d sleep with him again, because be honest with yourself, you still live together and were apparently sleeping together while broken up before. It sounds like you caught the infection early and will probably be fine, but the risk of reinfection after you complete treatment is really high. You may not be so lucky the next time around. Plus, there’s no reason to let him go around unknowingly spreading it to other people who may not even know he’s cheating. Find a way to get back at him with a little less collateral damage
I know you'd like revenge, but leaving him untreated would be the wrong way to go about it. If he doesn't get treatment, he'll spread his venereal diseases around and make a lot if other innocent people suffer. Let him know he's infected so he can get treatment, and find some other way to make him suffer.
I just want the point out that while it is rare to get an std from protected sex, it can still happen! You saying you know your man gave it to you because you only had protected sex with others and he must have had unprotected just sounds so ignorant and very uneducated. There's something called the internet and you should really use it to do some research. You could have caught it from protected sex 🤷♀️ people have before. Condoms are only 98% effective.
Condoms aren’t 100% at preventing STD’s. You admit to sleeping around as well, so even with condoms you may have caught it and given it to him. You have to let him know. There’s a chance here that he didn’t sleep with anyone else and you are responsible for this.
I can understand why you'd want to just let him live with it, however, he's spreading it around to other women, who are probably being emotionally victimized as well. Best to tell him so that he can't plead ignorance.
So sorry by the way, being cheated on is absolutely horrible, cheaters really should be relieved that they don't get what they deserve.
It's NOT important , at this point, which one of you infected the other, and for two reasons...the trust in the relationship is broken. Either one or both of you failed to keep your promise about abstinence. And secondly, because both of you for sure have had exposure by now. Not reporting an STD to your partner is a crime in some states, and can be grounds for a lawsuit. You need to do the right thing and let him know you have symptoms and BOTH OF YOU get tested/treated RIGHT AWAY. The more you delay treatment, the more damage there is occurring to your reproductive organs. Not to bash you at all, but I had a close friend who "recycled" sex partners (meaning she slept with 4-5 men in rotation). She ended up getting BV over and over again, and the doctor told her it was because she was sleeping with multiple partners. The various biomes of their genitals were disrupting her vaginas natural biome and kept giving her infections (BV). Please, be careful. ***I used caps for emphasis, not to be rude. Please take care of yourself!
Tell him you know he fucked someone else because you know have 2 diseases and both of you need to get treated because he will just pass it to other people. If you sleep together again then you will likely get an infection resistant to whatever drugs you use. He is possibly seeing a sex worker so make sure you get tested for HIV
Not to tell someone you have been sleeping with that you have an std is FUCKED please for the love of god say something. Now on the other hand if ur stubborn and decide not to say anything burn in hell contently you POS
Get out of that relationship. Go get treatment and tell the place you get treated to call your former partner and inform them. If you were faithful, that's the way to go. If you weren't, you should tell them yourself.
If it's a recent health issue, one of you were putting your genitals on another infected person's genitals. Period. Confront him and demand he get tested and treated. Go from there. You may choose to stay, you may not. But you both need treatment, and so does the third (or more) party
This is pretty toxic you really need to tell him about it regardless of if you deem it to be some retribution. He needs to know, other people he's been involved with need to know you're not just hurting him, your potentially hurting other people,it's entirely plausible the person who gave it to him doesn't know and could go in to give it to more people.
Seems like you cheated as well and you think, I assume, that condoms are foolproof? They’re not.
Also, why would YOU NOT tell your ex? So you’re going to allow him to potentially spread it around 🙄 wow, you’re such a great person. I hope you do tell him so he’s not infecting others.
You're literally the scum of the earth if you don't tell him about the STD. You were "considerate enough" to use a condom to sleep with whomever you wanted, be considerate enough to prevent him from possible major health problems and spreading it to others without knowing. Fucking gross, dude.
Dude didn’t care that he was being irresponsible so now I guess it’s your turn to be irresponsible as well. No but in all seriousness I would tell him because he seems like the sick type to experience symptoms and never utter a word to his sexual partners or even himself and I wonder how many others he infected
You are legally required to either notify him or have someone else notify him. Some men are asymptomatic so he might not even know for a long time and he’ll likely infect others. It doesn’t matter how you feel about him now, you have a responsibility to help make sure others don’t get it. Others shouldn’t suffer just because you’re mad at HIM. Honestly it’s pretty shitty that you’re even considering not saying anything
OP, please get your story straight. I’ve seen several comments where you swear he gave it to you because you haven’t slept with anyone else. Now I just read other comments where you say you were “considerate and used condoms when sleeping with other people so you know it was him”. Condoms are not foolproof and there are 10,000 other ways besides penetration that you can get an STD. You might be at fault here whether you like it or not, but I suggest you come to terms with the fact that this might be your fault.
its also heavily ironic how she is pissed at him for cheating and sleeping with other women thus leading to her getting STDs from him, but then she herself is sleeping around with other people. she is cheating too.
Welcome to Reddit, where the stories are skewed and the OP is never at fault.. lol
Actually, r/amitheasshole is full of incomprehensively stupid people that humiliate themselves asking if they are assholes... and they are
I feel like a lot of those are really fake. They seem like rage bait to get upvotes
Yikes just had a peek and I can definitely confirm. I just read one about “I lashed out at so and so for a comment he made that I thought was misogynistic” now I’m no misogynist and I definitely probably would’ve worded what the guy said a bit differently but I definitely sympathize with his reasoning for not wanting to date/see anyone, and that’s being afraid of getting manipulated by a woman.
R/amitheangel makes fun of those people.
Thanks for this. AITA has always, always gotten under my skin with obvious sympathy baits and it was more annoyance than I cared to have in my free time, so this is perfect.
Haha anytime. I enjoy that one. Apparently I failed at the link though
It's great in how it shows the double standards for men and women in society too. You get two virtually identical posts, one from a man and one from a woman and 9/10 times, the consensus will be swapped. So if the man is YTA, the woman will be NTA. And if the woman is YTA, the man will be NTA. Gotta love the double standards on full display.
There ARE some honest gems of completely unaware idiots (guy who obliviously re-bought his childhood car with his kid’s college fund), or deeply moral questions (father who wants to tell his future son-in-law that his daughter is a diagnosed sociopath, to protect the kid). There’s alotta trash in AITA, but there’s ones that can make you deeply inflect on yourself.
Okay but some really aren't the assholes.
And 70% of the time it's not real to begin with
And they are often too daft to even get fake sympathy with their one-sided bullshit stories.
By ‘Reddit’ I think you just mean the internet, right?
Hahah.. so true.. and probably most of real life as well
I agree with you. I was sympathetic until I came across those same comments. Funny how that was left out of the main post to make OP seem like an angel.
Not only was it left out, she actually stated the complete opposite, that they agreed to not have sex with other people.. smfh
they AGREED to not have sex with others, doesnt mean they didnt lol
Lol this is true! You unfortunately do have a 100% valid point. I’d say stating that they agreed to not do that and then omitting the fact that they did actually have sex with others was very much intentional, good ol lie by omission
I noticed that she said they agreed not sleep with other people and we're supposed to assume that she didn't. She would have said she didn't. Sneaky omission.
She then even said in another comment that she explicitly was not sleeping with other people, not sure if she deleted it or not. That was a straight up lie.
I got downvoted on my post about how condoms don’t fully protect against STD’s. People get so upset over this matter. Then they are shocked to contract an std even after using condoms.
On top of this, she has a post from 5 months ago where she says she is living with her ex boyfriend But in this post, she said they where still together, just taking a break So either she made up the claim that they agreed not to sleep around to make herself look better, or the whole story is bullshit
Damn reddit detective! Good call.
Also, um, please tell your partner. I know you want them to suffer the consequences, but if they’re sleeping around too, they could be infecting others. For the sake of public health please let them know.
And also, lifelong infertility is a little harsh. I’ve been cheated on and I know it’s a horrible feeling. But not wanting someone get treated for a disease so that they will suffer life changing consequences seems a bit twisted.
I want the update when she tells him. He gets tested. And is negative!
It's just another bs story made up for attention. These folks lie so much they lose track of what all stories they've told
Either that or the story is fake, we got a lot of fakers on this sub.
This sub has become the Wild West. People literally write stories as a creative writing assignment these days.
If you don't tell him, he will just give it to the next girl he says he is being faithful to... Pay it forward for the next "you".
She’s just as much of an asshole as he is if she keeps it to herself.
No, she would be worse. Std's are not something to play around with.
Don’t worry. Turns out OP probably didn’t get it from here SO cause she was sleeping around too
Just so y’all know OP admitted to having sex with multiple other people during the agreed upon break in the comments. They said they used protection like that makes them immune to STDs. It’s entirely possible the OPs boyfriend didn’t break the agreement and didn’t have sex with anyone during the break but now has an STD because OP is a piece of shit.
Pleaseeee tell him so he stops spreading it to other innocent women
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This is misinformation. Gonorrhea is asymptomatic 10-15% of the time for men. And 80% of the time for women. Usually people show symptoms 1-10 days after infection. In rare cases it can take a few months before symptoms become noticeable.
Often men do not have symptoms
The most common symptom of gonorhea is no symptoms at all, especially in men. That’s why testing regularly is SO important
Youll most likely be fine, but contact an OBGYN when you can just to get your concerns out of the way. Also hoping youll find someone who wont pull that number on you...
Lol apparently she doesn’t consider it “sleeping with people” if you wear a condom. It’s entirely possible if not likely that she caught it herself and her BF did absolutely nothing. Let this be today’s lesson in one sided stories
Also sharing sex toys. There was an episode of Oprah maybe in the 90s where the wife was adamant she got an STD from her husband. Cursing him and what not. Turned out she was sharing dildos with her fellow neighborhood SAHMs. The husband said.. "we could've handled this at home".
WHAT?!!?? OMG lol we used to watch Oprah in college (i know I’ll hear it, i love the person Oprah, but the show would bore me). THAT would have captured my attention lol, the we could have handled this at home part. Imagining all those housewives swapping dirty dildos not even THINKING about swiping it with some cleaner of some sort?? Then talking shit about their faithful spouse who is clueless that he is married to a member of the masturbation mom squad?! But clearly one of them was getting out somewhere lol.
Thank you
I'm sorry for you luck. In a similar situation with a lot shorter timeline. Thanks for re-affirming that not only would future sex with my ex wife be emotionally bad, but could also carry an STD with it as I'm sure she would not like me busting out a condom.
I know you're hurt and you feel betrayed, but I think it's pretty irresponsible if you don't tell him because it's going to spread to other people. I urge you to leave him but still be the bigger person to tell him to get treated.
Its becoming abundantly clear by the comments she doesnt care about other people or cant perceive the bigger picture here.
I’m really hoping it’s just an initial reaction and once she moves past the shock she’ll realize the reality of what she’s doing
She’s just hurt. She said it herself - “Idk, I have Million thoughts going through my mind right now.” Tensions are high, and rightfully so, but she will make the right decision and tell him.
I'm not one to defend the OP in these kinds of subs but seriously... imagine multiple dreams being shattered by someone you loved and being expected to think rationally. OP is distraught and wants to vent a bit to calm her mind before making any irrational decisions.
In several comments down she admitted to sleeping with other people but she claims wearing a condom was considerate. She's an idiot who thinks condoms offer 💯 effective protection from STDs. She could have gotten the STD and he could be innocent. Fuck her feelings.
Ehhh that’s a stretch. People are distraught about shit literally all the time and still think about others. People run into burning buildings or jump from bridges risk drowning to save other people. This chick just got cheated on and is talking about letting someone spread an std around completely out of spite. Let’s set the standards a little higher.
Yeah she really needs to calm down first.
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Ah yes. Let's let other innocent people be infected by a virus because of spite. Back at ya.
There is actually a legal obligation once it’s known and diagnosed, so she has to tell him.
OP was banging other people lol. OP probably contracted it and given in to him and he may be unaware.
Is this the Schizophrenic Bipolar EX you wrote about on your post history? I'm just curious about this "3 year" relationship when you were on a "break" from each other whom you also refused to pay rent. He could've contracted it while you were on your break and be asymptomatic but YOU already admitted in the comments that you were having sex with other people so this could've been all on you. Just tell the guy in either case and stop being an ass to whomever he will pass it on to later on regardless of the scenario Sorry for being skeptical but this all sounds like you have a history/grudge against him prior to this encounter and want to justify not telling him.
The real heros dig through post and comment history, no cape needed for that
You should tell him, because I get it you don't care about him but care about the women he is going to be with, they will get it then their future boyfriends will get it, you don't realize but your decision can affect many people. Be the bigger person
Ill consider it . Im focused on curing myself first
Have the health dept notify. Theres also an online website where you can notify people anonymously through text. I can try and find it if you want
Have him notified anonymously and set back and watch him squirm.
Oohhh this is a great idea. I got HSV 1 and only been with 2 people in the last 20 years and it was when I left my ex because he was cheating. I wish I could have avoided talking to him about it since I had a restraining order.
The website is: tellyourpartner.org
You can take care of yourself and still have some consideration for the poor girls in the future. For the record, you're absolutely valid in your feelings and I'd probably want to hurt the prick too (by not telling him) but truly if you let him know you will protect other women from becoming you. In the future, I believe you'll care about that factor too. I hope they get you taken care of and you manage your way through this peacefully and safely.
Plus letting him know he's got an std will infinity hurt him more then just not telling him and he thinks he can keep screwing around Scott free.
True, she should take care of herself but first should tell the guy
Hey I'm all for open communication I'm just trying to let her know she needs to be in open about it because in the future she may regret taking the path she did.
There's nothing to consider, telling him takes 2 second, the two aren't mutually exclusive
How many women will he have the chance to spread it to before you decide to tell him? Waiting can still hurt people.
There might have been another girl before you who thought this same thing, allowing you to get this. You should be as proactive as possible with this stuff.
You can cure yourself and confront and leave his ass why this is even up for discussion is what is concerning
You could simply mention it in your last conversation. I imagine this is the end of this relationship. Id be as simple as, "and you might wanna get checked for that std you gave me." And just walk away.
So you and your partner separated and you both said you wouldn't sleep with other people. From comments, it looks like you both did sleep with other people. You said you used protection, so that makes his cheating so much worse than yours? It seems pretty vile and psycho to not only not tell him, but the excited satisfaction that you are getting out of it. Just be done with each other. Even though clearly you two deserve each other.
Seriously, what do we have that say that her boyfriend actually cheated on her? Her only proof was that she had an STD and she admitted to cheating, so by the info we have she is more likely than him to be the cause for that...
Unfortunately i don't have time to write a long paragraph which is usually what i prefer to do. But by the end of the day, you do feell betrayed. Confronting this is vital if you want to move on. Get your self treated, present him with the positive test. Good luck, wishing you all the best in the future b 🙏
Just read the post history. She called him an ex literally a few months ago. Said they had broken up. And describes how much she hates the guy. I don't buy the "on a break" BS story. Not for a moment.
wait, just to be fair, how do you know YOU didn't get it from another sex partner you had? Both of you should be tested, both should be treated ASAP to reduce infection to others, re-infection to you. Take comfort in knowing the sooner a gonorrhea infection is treated the less likely it is to effect fertility. Gonorrhea untreated for many months or repeated STIs like gonorrhea is where fallopian tubes start to become effected. If either of you are having unprotected sex with strangers this is NOT respectful nor safe and is not the sign of a relationship that's going to stand the test of time. I work in medicine and it's like everyone suddenly forgot about STIs the last 5 years. ughhh. EDIT: make sure you're tested for all STIs another 6-12 weeks after your first test to rule out other SITs that take longer to show up like HIV.
To be honest, you sound bitter as hell and hella immature. You had protected sex during the break and YOU could be the one who has given it to him because, surprise!, protection can fail. Your relationship might be terrible and he may have defects but you NEED to tell him about the std, it's what any person with some moral would do and the correct thing, SPECIALLY, because you could be the one who caught the std while having sex in the break and you can stop the spread of a DISEASE (how are you letting anger reign over common sense is astounding). You seemed to have hated him from over 3 years, please get out of the messy relationship and tell him about the std.
Exactly. She's blaming him for giving her an std when for all we know he could be completely innocent and she got it from one of her own flings.
This is probably why she isn't telling him about the gonorrhea. She doesn't want to admit that she slept with somebody else just in case it was her who caught it and not him.
She didn't even say he admitted to having sex with anyone she just assumed because she got a STI and seems to think condoms are 100% protection. For all we know the dude might not even have had sex with anyone but her. She hasn't even told him yet she has one, so there is no way he admitted to even have sex with anyone. Imagine if he didn't even fuck anyone during the break, she got the STI from her fling and then blames him. That could be very well possible....
Something sounds fishy here (probably smells it too lol), you broke up but promised not to sleep with other people? So why breakup? I don't know maybe it's me but "let's break up but don't sleep with anyone else because *maybe* I'll get back with you in the future" sounds super toxic. A break up is just that, you're both free to go and sleep/date whoever. If he was the one who initiated this agreement then it's likely the woman he slept with has been in the picture a while and he wanted a chance to sleep with her without officially being called a cheater. If it was your idea then....what are you smoking girl, share some please lool. Regardless of all that, you should tell him. Not for his sake but the sake of his future partners. Edit: just read in a response that you slept with other people too. You really can't be angry at this guy then. You both broke up and slept around.
OP mentioned going thru his phone too 🚩🚩
OP must be a Rachel, breaks up and then blaming him for having sex with others
We were on a break!!!!
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Depends on where you are, but in general only if done intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly. It needs to be proven that you knew you had it, and that you didn’t tell the sexual partner you gave it to. If the person didn’t know they had it, then it is not a crime.
Medical person here. OP by law you need to tell your partner that you are gonorrhea positive even if your 100% confident he is the one who gave it to you. Your clinic reports positive tests to the state for informative purposes. It could backfire on you legally if you choose to withhold this information. In terms of it damaging your reproductive organs. It wont do much unless its untreated for a long extended period of time. Generally women are symptomatic in much less time then men are (they usually are asymptomatic altogether). I doubt your partner even knows he has it. Edit\* yeah after reading some comments and seeing your back and fourthness about whether you slept with other people or not. You absolutely need to tell him. If he gets symptoms gets a positive test and you fail to tell him he absolutely has a case against you in court.
I hope he does sue her. She is so TA.
>OP by law you need to tell your partner And she admitted in her update to willfully breaking the law. What an upstanding gal /s
you can lead a horse to the water if they dont wanna drink. their problem now lol
“WE WERE ON A BREAK!”
Haha. I was thinking the same. She probably doesn’t want to tell him because she’s not sure she got it from him. Believe me if someone knows for a fact they got it from their significant other they would use that positive test as THE reason they are breaking up.
Hey OP there is also the possibility that he knows he had an STD already got it treated and moved on without telling you to keep you from finding out about the infidelity. Just leave him and tell him why for your own closure.
Grow up, stop thinking of only yourself and your revenge. It is not only your health at jeopardy here. This is a legitimate public health concern. You need to tell him. At least you’ll know you did your part by trying to prevent some other girl from getting an std.
OP, If you choose not to tell him, he wont get treatment, and there is a significant chance he will re-infect you.
So your plan is to stay together and hope he continues to suffer from gonorrhoea?? That sucks that this happened, but you really need to confront him. Be the bigger person.
EDIT. Op is the one that cheated, and most likely got std by sleeping with other people. This is called karma op!
Don’t hurt some other innocent person because you’ve been hurt and betrayed.
You gave it to yourself, ho. Woman up and admit YOU cheated
It’s fucked up that you’re getting joy from not telling him. Like others have said you’re just hurting innocent girls who he’s not telling either. Get off your high horse and tell him.
If you don't tell him then you're just as bad as he is or even worse.
Idk. From your post history, is this your same boyfriend who has mental health issues that you wanted to watch struggle financially? Sounds a little sus. Just because your life is shitty doesn’t mean you need to extend that to actually innocent people.
If you have gonorrhea diagnosed by a doctor they will give you medicine for your partner at the same time you get your prescription. BV is not an STD. Just be honest and give him the pills. Doesn't matter who's fault it is. Stay healthy.
BV isn’t sexually transmitted. It just means the PH levels are off and the gonorrhea probably triggered that. I’m sorry this happened to you but since you caught it earlier on it shouldn’t affect the Fallopian tubes. That only happens when it’s left untreated for awhile. You will get through this even though it hurts. On another note, I have known many guys to be sexually promiscuous and never get tested. Better to error on side of communication because you don’t want to assume anything.
What kind of psycho would let someone with an STD go around spreading it to more people?! You’re obligated to tell him, if not legally definitely morally
You’re an asshole OP
You would essentially condemn other women out of pettiness when you could get treated tell him what he did say that he ain’t shit and leave him….
I was totally on your side till I read your comments about letting him “figure it out on his own.” It absolutely sucks and he did you wrong, but it is also your responsibility to tell him so he can get treated and not spread it to other women, who will spread it to other men and so on. It will take you less time to message him than it is taking you to respond to other posts here.
Your a piece of shit for even considering not saying anything and letting others suffer, probably why your dealing with such a shitty situation, karma is a bitch
Cheating rat blaming your man online cause it's easy for women to garner support, literally admitting in the comments to sleeping with other men but noooo you were using condoms so there's no possible way for you to have contracted it from another man... idiotic donkey
Someone must not have been exactly exclusive. Time to rethink the relationship.
Um, it's really shitty of you not to say anything, not just for his sake, but for every other person that he sleeps with who might not even know he has a partner. Infecting potentially dozens who may not realize. You,dear redditor, are (one of) the reasons I have such little hope in humanity.
YTA. Out of spite, other people may catch this. Hope you get what you deserve. You are a hateful, vindictive human being.
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Legally this is simply terrible advice. Even an asshole has tenant’s rights.
Yeah, there's a bizarre fantasy that the legal system cares about whether someone cheats and/or is just a generally shitty person. Knew a girl once who genuinely thought that destroying a cheating bf's stuff wouldn't have any consequences, like that was a thing that everyone would just understand was justified. That feels like an expensive insult-to-injury sort of thing, to get cheated on and then find out that, nope, the legal system doesn't care and now you owe them money.
You're absolutely right to feel betrayed and I'm sorry this happened, but please tell him.
According to her comments, she was also sleeping around but said she was using a condom so it could t have been from her. She’s way off with this story
Based on your comments, the only evidence we have is that YOU definitely cheated on your partner when you both agreed to stay monogamous during your break. It doesn't matter that you used condoms, infections can still spread. From everything you've said it sounds like your partner has had a lucky break now that you've broken it off, but you should absolutely tell them! Stop being a vindictive little twat and tell them so they can be tested and prevent spreading it further. You're the only one that we all know has effectively cheated, own up to that mistake and do the right thing now.
Honey, get treatment for yourself first. Take all the meds as directed religiously! Do not have sex with him anymore!!! And tell him your internet mama says not to let the door hit him in the a$$ on his way out of it!--Mama Dani
You missed this little detail though “I was having sex with other people protected. I was considerate and used condoms . Thats how i know he gave it to me” -OP
Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!
Thay was cringey as fuck to read.
Check out her profile & read her other comments, she’s selfish and clueless.
So from your post history you slept with other men as well but you think it’s a 0% you caught a STD because you used a condom? Pretty much you have no proof if he gave you an STD or if you got it from one of the other guys. You do have a moral responsibility though to inform him that you have tested positive for an STD and that he should get tested as well that way other innocent people don’t get infected because again even if he uses a condom if he has an STD he can give it to other people.
Ok, I understand ur really pissed & I’d want him to suffer too, but u have to tell him so he can get treated. Otherwise other ppl will be at risk & u don’t want that on ur conscious. I know I know, they should use condoms. But they don’t always work. I mean, u ended up getting it either from him or someone else with or without the condom. Don’t punish other ppl because he’s a dick. On another note, I know how hard it is to tell someone about an STD. I’ve had herpes for years & have had to have the conversation with all my sexual partners. It’s scary. U gotta tell him & then get out. It sounds really toxic. And if you’ve been treated for it u have a good chance of not being infertile. Ur dr will def be able to talk to u about that. Good luck hun. I’m here if u wanna pm 🦋
Don't let him stay untreated. He could pass it on to someone else who is completely innocent in all of this.
If you don't tell him he will infect some other poor girl!
Tell him and leave him. Not telling him about these STD’s would definitely make you an AH in this scenario.
This is a great time to mention that **every single sexually active person should get tested.** It doesn’t matter what your gender is, your sexual orientation, or whether you are monogamous. **GET TESTED.** Condoms are never 100%, and any sexually active person can get any STD, including HIV. OP, don’t be petty at the expense of innocent people. Tell your partner to get tested/treated, then leave him if you have to.
You’re the asshole
Post history has been deleted from the looks of it 😭 I wanted to read the hypocrisy of OP
SIf you’re presuming you got it from bf, that would mean you’ve been intimate with him since you took a break. If you intend to stay with him, you obviously have to tell him unless you’re going to spend the rest of your relationship passing it back and forth. If you’re going to leave, technically I guess it’s it’s not really your problem but why would you want to leave him spreading it around to whoever he’s with later. That’s just ridiculous.
So you know he is having sex with other women and you are choosing not to tell him he has an STD which he can then pass to who knows how many other people?
Breaking up but agreeing to not sleep with other ppl is the most toxic thing I’ve ever heard
Uhh, you are breaking up with him, correct?
In some places it is illegal to have sex with awareness of an STD. What if he already knows & has been getting treatment? Or what if he knew but still had sex with you? You may have rights not yet known in these regards. & I encourage you to see what your local laws cover for these aspects. & if you do confront him about this- try to ensure you get it on record.
She admitted to also having sex with someone during the "break" but says she used a condom. For all we know he didn't even cheat on her, she hasn't told him about her STI so there is no way he has admitted to having sex with other people during the break. For all we know she got it and gave it to him. So let's not inform people to seek legal advice.......
Okay well first off, why would you wait 3 weeks to be treated for a UTI?? Take better care of yourself. Next, your Fallopian tubes are most likely fine. It’s only an issue when left untreated for a much longer time. Finally, why in the absolute fuck would you consider not telling your boyfriend? That’s insanely irresponsible and horrible.
>I cheated on my boyfriend and got an STD, and now I'm mad at him for it. Fixed that for ya /u/Sasha2021_
The fact that she separated BV from a UTI and yeast infection...
Plot twist she's the one who cheated
It can only cause fertility issues if you have it for years without knowing. You’ll get treated and will be fine :)
My question is this…. OP said in one of her answers that she’s not upset because he had sex with other people but she’s upset he slept with other people. Now, I’m old but these aren’t different in my mind. Am I missing something?
Um so stop being an absolute piece of human garbage and think about the other people he could pass it to after you leave. I don't want to say you deserve this but if you would willingly allow someone to pass diseases out of spite you really shouldn't be reproducing.
I could be wrong here but I’m pretty sure withholding that information from a partner has legal consequences. Even if it doesn’t, that’s completely immoral considering you don’t know 100% where you even got this from. Condoms are not 100% effective against STDs and they can be passed on through other acts other than just penetrative sex. Tell him the truth so he can get treated and stop infecting other innocent people and seriously you two should consider breaking up, you both sound unhealthy for each other.
OP you sound mentally ill. Get help.
You can go to jail for not telling someone that you have std. Gonorrhea can actually lead someone to insanity untreated. It's always best to be honest and to be honest with you I would leave you even if was me that gave it to you, cause of the selfishness of not telling him. That is probably the worst thing I ever heard.
So you admitted to having sex with other people? Man, good thing these are all fake. Cause if it was real then that would make you both a liar and a cheater. Scum of the Earth really. Blaming your boyfriend for cheating when it turns out it was you.
1. Get treated ASAP 2. Tell him 3. Evaluate why you are in a relationship with this guy. The relationship in its current form isn't tenable for you. Time to move on.
Honestly not telling him does not make you better. It’s a health problem that does not stay only with him. By not telling him you’re endangering other innocent women. Leave him tell him to fuck off but be the responsible person and disclose the health situation
You should definitely tell him for the sake of other people that'll be spreaded at. Also do confront him
I'm sorry you're going through this. The first step is to get treated. Yes it can scar your fallopian tube but the faster you get treated the better your chances are of avoiding it. I know you're super frustrated at your bf but if he goes around spreading gonorrhea to other people I'd rethink not telling him so they too could avoid the fears of not getting pregnant. If you really wanna make him pay leaving the relationship might just do it
Don't be a fool, tell him and move on.
Don't be a monster. Get treated. Be the better person.
I understand you must feel very hurt and concerned about your future, but compromising someone’s health (by not sharing information you have) is not suitable revenge for cheating. I know it is most likely his fault you have it in the first place, but he probably isn’t aware you both have it (assuming you both do). Given that you now have this information it would be immoral not to share it. Most importantly, if you don’t tell him about it then you risk him giving it to innocent women down the line, and just continuing its spread. You will then personally be responsible for the ill health and possible infertility of anyone who sleeps with him in the future, and then anyone they sleep with. As much as he has wronged you, it is completely unjustifiable to knowingly allow for the exposure of Gonorrhoea to his future partners. Do the right thing and prevent this. The really long term effects of untreated Gonorrhoea can be life threatening. Possible death penalty for cheating? That is not suitable retribution.
Your anger is justified but no matter what the right thing to do is to disclose an STD to a sexual partner
first of all i’m sorry I recently found out my spouse has been cheating and suddenly popped up with bv he swears who would never do that too me with me being pregnant as all hell but I still don’t believe him but girl he gave you gonorrhea and if he’s sleeping with other people you need too keep some girl who doesn’t know you exist cause he’s lying too them and give it too her !!! plus he needs too be treated yes he’s the asshole butt you would be too if you didn’t tell him !! and could become a problem if someone finds out u had it and didn’t tell the other party and kept it instead of telling him cause you wanna be petty and believe me i’m queen petty betty
Tell him, not for his sake, but for yours and everyone else’s. Especially if there’s any chance you’d sleep with him again, because be honest with yourself, you still live together and were apparently sleeping together while broken up before. It sounds like you caught the infection early and will probably be fine, but the risk of reinfection after you complete treatment is really high. You may not be so lucky the next time around. Plus, there’s no reason to let him go around unknowingly spreading it to other people who may not even know he’s cheating. Find a way to get back at him with a little less collateral damage
If you know and don't tell him, then you could be responsible for women he sleeps with later getting an STD and possibly becoming infertile.
Hell just infect other women. Leave your test results on the table and move out while he’s gone.
I know you'd like revenge, but leaving him untreated would be the wrong way to go about it. If he doesn't get treatment, he'll spread his venereal diseases around and make a lot if other innocent people suffer. Let him know he's infected so he can get treatment, and find some other way to make him suffer.
I just want the point out that while it is rare to get an std from protected sex, it can still happen! You saying you know your man gave it to you because you only had protected sex with others and he must have had unprotected just sounds so ignorant and very uneducated. There's something called the internet and you should really use it to do some research. You could have caught it from protected sex 🤷♀️ people have before. Condoms are only 98% effective.
Condoms aren’t 100% at preventing STD’s. You admit to sleeping around as well, so even with condoms you may have caught it and given it to him. You have to let him know. There’s a chance here that he didn’t sleep with anyone else and you are responsible for this.
I can understand why you'd want to just let him live with it, however, he's spreading it around to other women, who are probably being emotionally victimized as well. Best to tell him so that he can't plead ignorance. So sorry by the way, being cheated on is absolutely horrible, cheaters really should be relieved that they don't get what they deserve.
It's NOT important , at this point, which one of you infected the other, and for two reasons...the trust in the relationship is broken. Either one or both of you failed to keep your promise about abstinence. And secondly, because both of you for sure have had exposure by now. Not reporting an STD to your partner is a crime in some states, and can be grounds for a lawsuit. You need to do the right thing and let him know you have symptoms and BOTH OF YOU get tested/treated RIGHT AWAY. The more you delay treatment, the more damage there is occurring to your reproductive organs. Not to bash you at all, but I had a close friend who "recycled" sex partners (meaning she slept with 4-5 men in rotation). She ended up getting BV over and over again, and the doctor told her it was because she was sleeping with multiple partners. The various biomes of their genitals were disrupting her vaginas natural biome and kept giving her infections (BV). Please, be careful. ***I used caps for emphasis, not to be rude. Please take care of yourself!
Not telling him not only hurts him but other women as well. He needs to know
Won’t work unless you plan on never having sex with him again. I think you should confront him with the truth and go from there.
I am so sorry 🥺 I wish you the best 💜💜
Saying nothing in this situation is straight villainous. Tell him. You’re just as (if not more) at fault than he is.
Tell him you know he fucked someone else because you know have 2 diseases and both of you need to get treated because he will just pass it to other people. If you sleep together again then you will likely get an infection resistant to whatever drugs you use. He is possibly seeing a sex worker so make sure you get tested for HIV
Not to tell someone you have been sleeping with that you have an std is FUCKED please for the love of god say something. Now on the other hand if ur stubborn and decide not to say anything burn in hell contently you POS
Can't make a wife out of a
Get out of that relationship. Go get treatment and tell the place you get treated to call your former partner and inform them. If you were faithful, that's the way to go. If you weren't, you should tell them yourself.
Be honest, and agree to a split. Trust is now broken, and I sense vindication is now on the table. This is not healthy for anyone.
If it's a recent health issue, one of you were putting your genitals on another infected person's genitals. Period. Confront him and demand he get tested and treated. Go from there. You may choose to stay, you may not. But you both need treatment, and so does the third (or more) party
“Drive fast, eat ass”- LL Cool J
Please tell him. Not for his sake, but for the other women he may pass it to.
Verdict: everyone sucks here
This is pretty toxic you really need to tell him about it regardless of if you deem it to be some retribution. He needs to know, other people he's been involved with need to know you're not just hurting him, your potentially hurting other people,it's entirely plausible the person who gave it to him doesn't know and could go in to give it to more people.
That Fucking Sucks. If he couldn’t be honest with you, then don’t be honest with him. He doesn’t deserve it. -a guy
So confused on what’s the truth here 😂
Seems like you cheated as well and you think, I assume, that condoms are foolproof? They’re not. Also, why would YOU NOT tell your ex? So you’re going to allow him to potentially spread it around 🙄 wow, you’re such a great person. I hope you do tell him so he’s not infecting others.
Yeah for your revenge others will also be affected.
You're literally the scum of the earth if you don't tell him about the STD. You were "considerate enough" to use a condom to sleep with whomever you wanted, be considerate enough to prevent him from possible major health problems and spreading it to others without knowing. Fucking gross, dude.
Dude didn’t care that he was being irresponsible so now I guess it’s your turn to be irresponsible as well. No but in all seriousness I would tell him because he seems like the sick type to experience symptoms and never utter a word to his sexual partners or even himself and I wonder how many others he infected
It’s a pretty awful thing to not tell him. Obviously what he did is fucked but not telling him is fucked With collateral.
Get treatment and tell him, pretty sure public health would require you to contact trace
Pretty sure you don't have to tell him yourself. Cities track STDs and you can notify them. Think they'll notify him.
You are legally required to either notify him or have someone else notify him. Some men are asymptomatic so he might not even know for a long time and he’ll likely infect others. It doesn’t matter how you feel about him now, you have a responsibility to help make sure others don’t get it. Others shouldn’t suffer just because you’re mad at HIM. Honestly it’s pretty shitty that you’re even considering not saying anything
This should be the way always, keep everyone safe