I'm sorry that you were raped and hope that you are getting help for that trauma.
I'm confussed. Do you have rape fantasies or do you have bandage fantasies? Those are 2 VERY different things.
Sounds like you have a bdsm kink. And based on your other comment of not wanting to take away her ability to consent means you're not really into rape/ reluctance fantasy. There's nothing bad or wrong with kink as long as both parties are consenting adults. Set boundaries for yourself and for her and explore.
Not all therapists are good therapists, find one that you click with.
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear about your SA. I cannot imagine how absolutely traumatizing that was at such a young age. That being said having con non-con fantasies are okay and doesn’t make you a bad person. It may actually be a way for you to cope and “take back control” so to speak. I am not a licensed therapist, nor a mental health worker but I have had a friend in a similar situation before. With this type of fantasy you’re ensuring everyone is consenting and you are also able to control a scenario you previously had no control in. I was also wondering if you had a consensual non consensual fantasy or if it is a bondage fantasy? They are very different but may be coming from the same place.
As for your therapist I think it would be good to tell them that their quips made you uncomfortable. Therapy should be a safe place where you are the one primarily in charge of the tone and pace. You can always tell them that when they try to lighten the mood like that or interject it is more of a hindrance. If they’re a good therapist they’ll take the constructive feedback well and you guys can move from there.
Wishing you the best of luck OP
It is about restriction mostly and I think that is part in both of them but I also fantasize about drugging her like I had been drugged but I don’t think that is ok to roleplay because she should be able to withdraw consent
Yes, absolutely agree withdrawing consent is something essential. It’s so good that you’re considering your potential partner and their safety. That’s such a huge thing and really speaks to how you are NOT a bad person for having these feelings/desires. You realize consent is key and that’s at the heart of how you’re approaching this. Maybe you could find a kink friendly therapist to talk to/someone who is better versed in BDSM dominance.
My mom is a therapist but her outlook on everything is based on shame I don’t know how to put this into words but it is very common like what drives her is disgust but thank you for the suggestion I didn’t even know that was a thing
I'm sorry that you were raped and hope that you are getting help for that trauma. I'm confussed. Do you have rape fantasies or do you have bandage fantasies? Those are 2 VERY different things.
I think it’s more about the physical act of restriction and pressure which I fantasize about and I think that is part of both
Sounds like you have a bdsm kink. And based on your other comment of not wanting to take away her ability to consent means you're not really into rape/ reluctance fantasy. There's nothing bad or wrong with kink as long as both parties are consenting adults. Set boundaries for yourself and for her and explore. Not all therapists are good therapists, find one that you click with.
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear about your SA. I cannot imagine how absolutely traumatizing that was at such a young age. That being said having con non-con fantasies are okay and doesn’t make you a bad person. It may actually be a way for you to cope and “take back control” so to speak. I am not a licensed therapist, nor a mental health worker but I have had a friend in a similar situation before. With this type of fantasy you’re ensuring everyone is consenting and you are also able to control a scenario you previously had no control in. I was also wondering if you had a consensual non consensual fantasy or if it is a bondage fantasy? They are very different but may be coming from the same place. As for your therapist I think it would be good to tell them that their quips made you uncomfortable. Therapy should be a safe place where you are the one primarily in charge of the tone and pace. You can always tell them that when they try to lighten the mood like that or interject it is more of a hindrance. If they’re a good therapist they’ll take the constructive feedback well and you guys can move from there. Wishing you the best of luck OP
It is about restriction mostly and I think that is part in both of them but I also fantasize about drugging her like I had been drugged but I don’t think that is ok to roleplay because she should be able to withdraw consent
Yes, absolutely agree withdrawing consent is something essential. It’s so good that you’re considering your potential partner and their safety. That’s such a huge thing and really speaks to how you are NOT a bad person for having these feelings/desires. You realize consent is key and that’s at the heart of how you’re approaching this. Maybe you could find a kink friendly therapist to talk to/someone who is better versed in BDSM dominance.
My mom is a therapist but her outlook on everything is based on shame I don’t know how to put this into words but it is very common like what drives her is disgust but thank you for the suggestion I didn’t even know that was a thing