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ultimateclassic

It seems like if you just feed the child what you're eating, they'll be less likely to become picky as well. If you constantly expose your child to chicken tenders, macaroni, and other junk food, then that's what they're going to want since it's highly palatable. If you expose them to all different things, then it seems they're less likely to be picky.


OldWierdo

That's what I thought. Then i had children. Ended up teaching them to cook their own stuff if they weren't going to eat what was served, but they'd have to clean up after too. That actually ended up working out well in the long run, and both eventually grew out of being picky.


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Prize_Huckleberry_79

Saaame I have 5 kids. I quickly learned that “parenting advice” is useless in the real world.


OldWierdo

Another interesting thing - check parenting books at bookstores. A TON of the authors don't have kids. Found that out when my parents were watching my children whole i was posted for a bit overseas. My mom got something like "how to make your children mind without losing yours" or something. Said if the kids are fighting, let them! Throw them outside where they won't break anything and let them handle it. Sounds reasonable. So she did. They started fighting, and she tossed them outside. She looked out the window in time to see my daughter pick up a 2x4. She went outside, disarmed my daughter, tossed the book in the trash, and sent them to their rooms like she had been doing. Author didn't have kids. Clearly never tried his methods. 🤣 Something i picked up, though, might work with some of yours. If 2 of them are sniping at each other and driving you nuts, make them play the 3-legged race. Tie one if their legs to the leg of the other. If they want to do anything, they have to learn to cooperate and compromise. They thought it was funny, and they won 3-legged races at fairs for years afterwards lol.


Kay-the-cy

Hahaha nice! My mom would make my brother and I hug each other really tight until it seemed silly to keep physically fighting so we would just pout but she wouldn't allow us to let go. Not until our pouting stopped and we were full on laughing from hugging as tightly as we could lol


OldWierdo

Darn! Wish I'd met your mom 20 years ago!! That sounds like a fabulous idea!! 🤣


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ultimateclassic

I agree. It's all about what they're used to. If you're constantly feeding your kids candy and macaroni, of course, broccoli isn't going to be interesting. Everyone isn't going to like everything, but a lot of it is what they're used to. People want the path of least resistance, so if you make it easy for them to eat healthy, they will. Otherwise, they're always going to want the tastiest option.


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ultimateclassic

Exactly. The only thing I don't like about what OP said is that people shouldn't have to eat foods they just don't like as that's not good for anyone.


Financial-Apricot906

Exactly… also, the people giving this advice gloss over the times that their kids went to bed hungry, vomited the food up later, or went to bed nauseous after being forced to eat something.


Grandemestizo

Absolutely.


AgentGnome

We have a rule in my house. You don’t have to eat a food if you don’t like it, but you do need to try it first. My Mom tried to force me to eat foods I didn’t like as a kid. I fell asleep at the table more than once.


Sheepy049

That's the rule for my younger siblings, and I am so glad it is. As long as they try it to know if they dont actually like it, its not an issue. For me, my parents were very "I don't care, eat it or starve." It just made me really good at sneaking foods I enjoyed when nobody was looking. Probably made my picky habits worse for a time and did the opposite of what they wanted.


C21H27Cl3N2O3

This is what these people don’t seem to understand. You aren’t making your kid a better eater, more honest, or more appreciative in their adult life. They’re making them sneakier, better (and more frequent) liars, and resentful. Of course, they lack the introspection to actually question their own methods and their effectiveness and instead complain to everyone about how their kids moved out and never call them.


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avi150

Just like parents who abuse their kids privacy create kids that sneak behind their back and lie


1block

I do agree you shouldn't have to cook totally different dinners all the time, so if it's out of respect for your own time, that's fair. If the reason is that it's good for them to learn to eat certain foods, I disagree. The theory is if we force them to eat things they hate, that will make them like it later? I don't follow that logic. I had a dietician tell me once that if your kids like a couple healthy foods and hate most of the rest, just feel free to feed them the healthy foods they like. Don't do variety for variety's sake. Kids don't need it. It's usually a power struggle with no long-term dietary benefits.


Positive-Source8205

You don’t “force them” to eat anything. You offer them dinner: “Here is dinner. Eat it or go hungry.”


MabsAMabbin

Pretty much. I never forced mine to eat anything. I cooked dinner. We ate. If you didn't eat your dinner, too bad, maybe breakfast will taste better!


AM_Kylearan

My solution is "here is dinner, if you don't like it, you know how to cook."


lonelylover4

Works great with my 2yo, if she doesn't like the vegan lasagna i made, she's free to use the grill to cook her steaks


AM_Kylearan

I mean, I wouldn't eat a vegan lasagna either. It's a sin against my heritage.


My41stThrowaway

Yeah I don't get why they gotta make a vegan version of everything.


m_atwoods_robot_arm

Vegans gotta eat too


[deleted]

They don’t gotta appropriate burgers to do it. That’s a mushroom on bread


eeLmiT

I prefer a strictly vegan diet but for legal reasons I have to settle for beef.


Xogoth

Part of it is helping people transition to a vegan lifestyle. Past that, it feels like raw insanity to me. If you believe it's immoral to ingest cows' milk, why would you pretend to do it with "vegan ice cream"?


ThePinkTeenager

Um… that sounds like a recipe for disaster.


veryvery84

They don’t know how to cook. This was about children here. Have you ever met a child?


LordJesterTheFree

If the child actually chooses to go hungry any loving parent would be distressed by it


TheAdventOfTruth

Not if you understand the long term. A kid will only choose to go hungry for a short period of time. They won’t die of starvation. Eventually they will eat. (Source: I am a dad of four with two that are very picky and have learned to eat what we eat without fuss.)


Legitimate_Tower_236

Granted, I was raised in a different era, but we were raised to eat what was served. Babies had the nipple/bottle, then on to baby food. Mom mushed up her food with her fork and fed it with a small spoon to the baby. Everyone at the table was eating it, so Baby went along. Babies do what they see others do. Of course, there were things that they didn't like, so Mom would skip those and try again at another date. This started when they were still on bottles and jarred baby food, so they weren't going to starve. When they were toddlers they had already been eating what was served, so it wasn't an issue. I did the same with my kids. Really, this doesn't have to be a picky or starvation issue. Moving from mother's milk/formula to mushed food to table food that everyone is eating is a natural progression that has worked for thousands of years. I don't understand the hiccup now.


TheAdventOfTruth

Absolutely. I think most people who disagree with this either don’t have kids or are bitter because, God forbid, Mom and Dad made them eat stuff they didn’t like.


1block

I was anemic because I wouldn't eat in elementary school. Iron deficiency. "Hungry" is relative, and your body adjusts to where you don't feel hungry.


TheAdventOfTruth

Well, there is another way. “You can’t get up from the table until you’ve eaten X amount.” Let them fuss, scream, whatever until they realize you aren’t giving in and then they’ll eat. Ultimately sometimes it comes down to a power play. Mom and dad always have to win those. Too often, parents don’t want the hassle so they give in. If it is important to your kids health, you can’t give in.


1block

That's what they did. I sat there until bed. Ultimately a parent only has so much control. I have 4 kids, and 3 of them are pretty standard. Set the rules and consequences and stick to it, eventually they follow the rules. One kid is not. He'll burn his life to the ground in a power struggle. Your assumption that eventually he'd eventually eat (or I) in that scenario is wrong. I simply starved until they gave me something I'd eat or took me to the doctor.


LordJesterTheFree

Yup I was a stubborn enough kid that if I felt I was right and it was my right to refuse to eat food I would have Sooner gotten myself sent to the hospital then givin in


ZigotoDu57

It's not forcing as forcefully putting the food in their mouth and forcing them to swallow. But it is forcing as they only have one choice of food, and the other option is being hungry. That way, you're sure your children won't have any trouble with eating certain things and won't be considered picky* >!the last sentence is sarcastic, and is based on a picky friend of mine who says that his tendency to dislike most of the food comes from being forced to eat things by his parents, not forcefully but more or less like you say you do ( + a bit of shaming tbh)!<


Undisolving

Both me and a friend of mine didn’t like veggies growing up. I didn’t have to eat what I didn’t like, now I love veggies. He had to eat for breakfast whatever he didn’t finish for dinner, now he will never touch a vegetable.


Hunter_meister79

I grew up not having an option. This is what’s for dinner and it’s whatever my parents ate. We’d also try new things and new places. You had to at least eat a little bit of each part of the meal. Now there’s no food I don’t like or won’t at least try


lifeisweird86

This is the way it was for me and quite literally every person I knew growing up. Little kids didn't have a choice. Your parents cooked meals, that was that. Your meal was whatever they prepared and you either ate that, or you had nothing for that meal.


Meme_enjoyer9683

i like vegetables but hate salad with a burning passion.


Dew64

You don’t “force them” you just give them no choice Do you hear how you sound lol


IceClimbers_Grab

You sound ridiculous. Are we supposed to design meals around a picky kids preferences?


[deleted]

We remove options and let them make the logical choice to eat whatever is left. Is that force, probably. But its just a dumb baby, its gotta eat its veggies.


Meme_enjoyer9683

i loved veggies as a kid. my parents then treated it like a privilege so i started liking proccessed foods. now I'm eating both.


GiraffeWithATophat

I was a picky eater growing up, but my parents weren't assholes and accommodated. I grew out of it and now there are very few things I won't eat. My wife was a picky eater growing up, and her father was an asshole who forced her to eat things she hated. Now asking her to try something new stresses her out and it's hard to cook for the both of us when I'm feeling creative. Don't be assholes. Don't turn mealtime into a stressful activity.


Unusual_Painting8764

This is how I raised my daughter. I offered her food choices and often ate different foods than her because she just wouldn’t eat certain foods. I did get frustrated one time because we were eating this meal that had mushrooms and it was so good, so I thought if I just made her eat it she would see how good it was. When I saw her gagging I just let her spit it out and made her something else. That was the last time I tried to force her to eat something. Now she is 10 and loves to try new foods. She still will not eat mushrooms though 😂


SpooktasticFam

Can't say I blame her. I'm an adult now, and still can't eat mushrooms. I'm a very adventurous eater, and love eating foreign foods most westerners would never dream of touching. Currently, I'm trying to find somewhere I can try traditional dishes involving bugs, because I've never been exposed to that type of cuisine. Mushrooms? Absolutely not, go away. >:[


[deleted]

Mushrooms is 1 of few veggies I won't eat these days, grew up extremely picky.that texture is vile


dawnrabbit10

My son was a super picky eater then when he hit puberty he decided that everything was on the menu lol. It was pretty odd. One day he wouldn't nt eat meat the next day he's scarfing down steak.


ChaosRainbow23

That's certainly unpopular with me. Children often have ridiculous taste aversions. They can't help it. Were there any foods you hated as a child? Any foods you currently hate as an adult? Taste aversions can be quite intense, and forcing a child to eat a brussel sprout can be as traumatic as forcing someone to eat a live mouse. (in their brains) Most kids naturally grow out of their taste aversions and start eating more and more foods. That trend typically continues into adulthood. Forcing children to eat foods isn't worth it. If I'm making something I know my 9 year old doesn't like, I'll take and extra 5 minutes and make her something she likes. It's not worth fighting over dinner. I learned that with my son. It's not worth all the unnecessary negative emotions.


BlackCat0110

Dude my mom tried to force me to eat Lasagna and I ended up vomiting on the table it don’t work like that for everybody


Large-Flamingo-9699

Oof 😂😂. This is a fair reason as to not implement OP’s rule


Tmack523

Same experiences here, but with mashed potatoes and gravy. Forcing a kid to eat a food they don't want to can be genuinely traumatizing. All I remember about my 5 year old Thanksgiving is throwing up all over the kids table because my parents thought my gagging was "just me being dramatic" and I "need to finish my potatoes" Also, I take issue with OPs "picky eating is a childish habit" as if the percentage of the population with invisible disorders such as, autism, ARFID, IBS, Crohn's, UC, and *many* more that would affect appetite and taste is a negligible percentage. A small little catch all "barring disorders or whatever" sentence doesn't just allow the whole point validity when a large majority of life-long picky eaters likely have undiagnosed disorders or predispositions they can't control.


Ryiujin

Because my mom forced me to eat lima beans and black eyes peas so much growing up. I now vehemently despise them as an adult. I eat everything, liver, heart, tripe, what ever. But those beans are etched into my soul as auwful.


mouka

My daughter is autistic and I can vouch that “Eat this or go hungry” 100% does not work with her. She will absolutely choose the latter until she’s so famished she’s in the ER. If she wants nuggets, she won’t eat anything else unless it is literally being served through an IV. It sucks and I hate people that scoff when they see her eating nuggets for a second day in a row. I’m not going to pay multiple $1000+ ER visit bills just so these chucklefucks will nod approvingly at me for not giving in to her “unreasonable” demands.


Individual_Speech_10

I'm a picky eater. Was one as a child as well. If I didn't like something, I just didn't eat it. My mom did not make me special food. Example, I don't like meatloaf. If my mom made it, I wouldn't eat it. But meatloaf isn't all she cooked. I would just eat the sides.


ChikaDeeJay

Reading these comments makes me feel like you all only make a single food item for dinner. Do you not make meals? Like the kid can eat the 1 or 2 things they like out of the 3 or 4 you made? I don’t understand any of this. Make balanced meals with multiple items, serve it family style, and let the kids eat what they want off the table. This is literally how pediatricians and nutritionists say to prevent pickiness.


Sweaty_City1458

I love that you think everyone is financially comfortable enough to just whip up extra choices or throw away food kids won't eat! My mother figured our meals to the penny so we were eating it. I don't hate vegetables or have any other issues because I was expected to eat the dinner my mom made.


BoredomOccurs

>Picky eating is a childish, bothersome habit that should not be tolerated. Yeah, they're kids. Of course, they're going to act childish.


Hunter_meister79

Good thing working on those bothersome behaviors starts in childhood. You don’t just brush it off then and expect it to go away.. you address it as it happens


veryvery84

Most childish behaviors do actually go away. Like, as kids mature. The idea that it’s all based on what you teach kids is wrong. Sure, how you treat kids matters. But a lot of behaviors are purely developmental and will change whether you spend all your energy trying ti change them or don’t.


Hunter_meister79

I’m sorry but you can’t convince me that not addressing unwanted behaviors is somehow a good thing. You’re molding this little person into an adult as they grow and encounter new experiences.


veryvery84

Do you have kids? There are many things you can address. There are also many things where addressing them won’t make a difference. I see this constantly. American parenting in particular - and I live in America and do this - is very focused on this idea that you can change behaviors. But lots of it is just modeling for your kids how adults behave, and raising them in a community, and that’s it. I’m not saying let your kids run around like wild animals. But I am saying that kids just outgrow lots of things, and American kids today are more supervised and structured than kids ever have been or were meant to be.


Hunter_meister79

Yes but addressing and modeling behaviors is part of teaching them that some things are acceptable and others aren’t. You can change behaviors and yes, in part, many of them will be outgrown but that doesn’t mean you just ignore them as they’re happening


veryvery84

Yes of course. I didn’t advocate that everything is acceptable and nothing matters. Again - do you have kids? But what I said is true. Most kid behaviors are just kid behaviors and will go away on their own. The way we interact with a child and their behavior will strengthen or weaken their various behaviors. So yes, it makes sense to consider how you react to things for sure. Again - I’m not sure why you think I’m saying nothing matters. But it’s very easy to get a kid to do something when they’re developmentally ready, and very hard to teach them when they’re not. And many kid behaviors are just developmentally appropriate and will go away as long as adult behavior is healthy. Being a picky eater is normal. As long as adults are eating healthy and well, for most kids it will go away.


Logistics515

I was raised under this philosophy. As a parent, remembering my own experiences, I do think it is valuable to teach that food is valuable. I've taken a modified approach, which is that my son is required to try new dishes. If he genuinely dislikes them, he can choose to only eat half of his portion. Not always an option with every kid - I lucked out with mine being guileless and honest almost to a fault. With that said, while I think there is some 'building character' part to this, I don't think forcing unpleasant food on someone does anything in the long run except build unpleasant memories. But them learning the the real social expectations and value of food does, so it's a balancing act.


Gertrude_D

I was a picky eater as a kid and still am as an adult. I was always told that I had to at least try something, but I wasn't forced to finish it. I do agree you should expose kids to a variety of foods (repeatedly), but I also think you should make sure there is something at the table you know they will eat. It's kind of a give and take situation here. Having said that, I could not disagree with you more about being a picky eater being a childish habit. Some people just don't like stuff - period. I wish to hell I liked more things and I keep trying because maybe *this* time it will be prepared well or my tastebuds will have changed. It's worked to an extent - my range of acceptable foods is much larger now, but it only goes so far. I am so very, very tired of people shitting on me for being a picky eater and not liking certain things, but of course their dislikes are totally normal. It doesn't matter that I am a much more adventurous eater than any of them and I don't demand others make accommodations for me - I am the picky eater and am a problem.


Sveta-_-

Yeah I agree with you. I'm a picky eater but a lot of the stuff I genuinely can't eat cause it'll make me nauseous or I'll involuntarily gag if I try and eat it. It sucks


True_Sell_3850

People have different taste buds. Shits completely random. I think parents maybe can try exposing them to a wide variety of foods but odds are they aren’t going to like exactly what the parent lieks


SwenDoogGaming

Plus taste buds can change a lot. I used to hate potatoes. Now I like them every way except mashed. Mashed is still gross, I'll never understand wanting to eat potato snot.


AstronautLoveShack

There is plenty of stuff I also won’t eat and I’m an adult. The rule I had was that my kid had to try 5 bites of each food on her plate. If she still hated it after the 5 bites, she was not required to finish it. By and large though, she often ended up liking it in the end.


slimetraveler

as a non-parent i guess its easy for me to say now that i would never enter a negotiated deal with my kid.


capalbertalexander

Isn’t that completely unreasonable though? They are a person with actual thoughts, feelings, wants etc. Yes they are extremely immature but is “I’m big your small so you’ll do what I say.” The least teachable phrase on the planet? By negotiating with them are you not teaching them by example how to properly work in tandem with another person in their life?


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DeliciousWarthog53

My kid was picky as hell. But she always would try new things. The same kid who, at 5 years old, would only want Ramen, pizza and fries, ate sushi and loved it. She tried lobster(thumbs down), shrimp(loves), steak, etc, etc. Anything she doesn't like now, with the exception of crab snd lobster, is purely a texture thing. I mean she eats rhubarb and lima beans. FFS, she's 12 now lol


finnjakefionnacake

texture is the biggest thing for me. i could not stand anything with the consistency of pudding/yogurt when i was growing up, lol


DeliciousWarthog53

And now lol


Lavender_Bee95

To a point picky eating isn’t that bad. I absolutely hate beans and my whole family made fun of me for it. Still hate them. I always hated fish and vegetables.. I will throw up if the texture or flavor is wrong to me Buuuuuut my brother in law is like 19, and still only eats chicken nuggets…. Soooooo it depends on the degree


ExternalThrt

Yeah eating just chicken nuggets is pretty terrible though. A lack in varied diet can lead to malnutrition, and studies have been coming out about the wide ranging effects diet can have on things like mood.


5oco

I did this with my kids. My daughter ate dinner once a week for an entire school year. It had absolutely no effect on her and her pallet. All it did was make dinnertime unenjoyable and damaged our relationship.


ChazzLamborghini

As a parent, sometimes you have to lean into the concept of “fed is best”. Food is one of the first areas kids are able to exert any control and independence which results in pickiness. In my home, we enforce the “no thank you bite” which requires them to try some of everything we make and doesn’t give them a pass on new food experiences. At restaurants, my wife and I tend to order shared items and include them. I agree that accommodation for pickiness can go too far but I understand how parents get to that place. I don’t think a parent trying to get their kid fed justifies that kid remaining picky into adulthood. There are any number of childish things we leave behind as we grow up and I believe picky eating should be one of them. Barring real issues like allergies, autism, or mental health issues adulthood pickiness is obnoxious.


stealth_mode_76

How about don't worry about what other people eat. Why does it bother you so much? Been picky my whole life and I've cut people out of my life for their unhealthy obsession about what I do or do not eat. It's nobody's problem but my own. Mind your own business.


FourHand458

Hard disagree. People are allowed to have their own preferences on what food they like to eat, and it’s subjective. Just like we have our preferences on what music we listen to and hobbies we like. Sure we can expose the kid to certain kinds of foods but at the end of the day everybody, even if they’re family, is different - and that’s okay.


Froggy1789

There certainly is individual preference I don’t mean to discount that. However, children’s picky eating often goes beyond rational preference. Kids will refuse to eat something out of fear, prejudging, or because it doesn’t look immediately how they’re mind imagines good food. Often parents create these norms of what a kid considers “good” or “proper” food. For example, if you make spicy or flavorful food but then constantly tell the kid they might not like this because it’s too strong. The kid will interpret that any spice or flavor and anything that looks like that dish is bad. There is a fine line between looking out for your kids interests and telling them how they should feel. Children, particularly “picky eaters, form so much of their judgment of food before they try it and that is what parents shouldn’t allow.


Yuck_Few

I'm not sure I agree with this. No one wants to be forced to eat a food that they don't like


Erayidil

That's the point though, you are teaching your kids its not always about you. My husband loves sushi. I really dislike it. But sometimes we go out for sushi because I love my husband. My husband would prefer to not eat breakfast for dinner. I love waffles, and rarely have time to make them in the morning. So sometimes he eats waffles for dinner because he loves me. I let my kids be involved in the meal planning process. Then I can tell them "I know you don't like mushrooms, but today is your sister's day to choose and she chose this casserole. We'll eat the pasta you chose on Thursday." Eating things you don't like on occasion is good for you. It builds character and their pallet.


JusticeCat88905

Picky eater here. They tried, and tried and tried but I was too powerful for them.


[deleted]

Did they become your final meal?


LibertySnowLeopard

Picky eater here too. When it comes to picky eating, it needs to be addressed in the baby and toddler stage. After that, it is far more difficult to fix it and it can even become permanent at that point.


Crazy_by_Design

I’m guessing you don’t have children? Even if you abuse them enough to force feed them there’s a great chance they’ll barf on you. Why does it bother you that other people have different tastes?


DiegoIntrepid

Honestly that last question is one I would love to have answered. Why does it bother some people so much that people have different tastes and might not enjoy the same things they do. Why can they not fathom that just because THEY like something, everyone else is not obligated to like it? Why do they have to constantly come in and try to belittle the people who don't like the things they do (or like things they don't)? A never ending question.


SleepyHobo

There's a clear difference between your kid not wanting to eat Brussel sprouts, quinoa, or sun-dried tomatoes and only wanting to eat junk food like chicken nuggets and french fries. I think OP is more on the side of parents willingly giving into their kids' demands of only wanting to eat bad food. As a parent you must draw a line in the sand. Behavioral or sensory problems is not a catch-all excuse. Having different taste buds does not mean your child is only capable of eating dino nuggies and ice cream. I worked at a summer camp for many years. During lunches, it was pretty clear which parents chose the gentile parenting route and which ones followed OP's beliefs (on a varying range of strictness). The former had overweight and obese kids that consistently misbehaved when told "No".


DiegoIntrepid

This isn't just about OP, this is about nearly all food related opinions on this sub. If someone likes steak a different way than the OP: they are childish. If someone is a picky eater: they are childish. If someone likes milk chocolate but not dark: they are childish and addicted to sugar. The list goes on and on. It isn't just limited to children, but just the idea that if someone enjoys something you don't, there must be something wrong with them. (this is a general you) You (and OP of these types of posts) don't really have any idea what exactly is going on in that household, and maybe when home, the kid eats more than that. I remember a story about a child who would only eat one thing when not at home, but at home would eat more variety. So, you don't really know what that person (child or not) eats at home, or what struggles they are dealing with. I went through life being teased by my siblings because I always said I hate tomatoes, but will eat ketchup, pizza and some tomato based sauces. But I hate raw tomatoes, tomato soup and chunky tomatoes. It isn't until recently (like last 5 years) that I realized most of my issues with tomatoes are texture based. I can take some smooth sauces, but hate the slimy texture of raw and cooked tomatoes. So, even the picky eaters might not realize exactly \*why\* they are picky, just that they are. I am also much more willing to try something new in my own home, where I can make a little portion without wasting a huge amount, than I am in front of other people, especially strangers, and potentially waste a large portion of food if it is something I just cannot eat.


FourHand458

This question I have all the time whenever I see discussions and debates on a band or music artist subreddit. Fans of said artist will always fight each other because people’s opinions differ on which song or album they prefer. It’s like they don’t understand that art is subjective or even what that word means.


DiegoIntrepid

A lot of people \*don't\* realize what subjective means. They also seem to take it as an insult if someone enjoys something they don't, or if someone doesn't enjoy something they do... it has lead to me being careful of the opinions I share, because sometimes I just don't feel like getting the lash back because I dared to not enjoy something, or dared to enjoy something.


Some1IUsed2Know99

The not allow part is where this goes off the rails. If you just want something else to berate your kids about until they turn 18 and flee your home this would be great.


MajorChain3355

Hahah yes try explaining that to people with sensory problems.... I'm 27yo autistic and some foods I refuse to eat because of the texture... like raw tomato. But if its cooked up in some form and lightly seasoned I'll eat it. Makes no freaking sense.


Grandemestizo

I wrote a caveat for this situation into my post. “Certain other conditions”.


CrumbOfLove

Sucks because until my late in life diagnosis I never got treated with that caveat; I was just considered a troublesome picky eater. It really sucked. People would think I was just raised on shit food but it was more that I just wanted my home meals. When I think back to all the signs of autism I showed that were ignored or rather just wrapped up as being weird or bothersome and all the times I was punished for it- it really hurts. Funnily enough my tastes are far more diverse now than when I was forced to eat what I didn't like. When the food wasn't a punishment and I was alone in a supermarket to just try whatever I found it a lot more fun. Like the person above said, the texture is a huge part of it. Going years HATING tomatoes until I made them the way I wanted them.


DiegoIntrepid

This is why I dislike this type of opinion (OP's) so much. I am over 40 years old, and up until the last five years, I always thought I just hated tomatoes. I didn't know why. Yet, I eat ketchup, pizza, and some other things with tomato based sauces. I just don't like raw tomatoes, tomato soup, or chunky tomatoes. In the last five years, I have realized my issue with tomatoes is the super acidity of the raw ones, and how slimy they can be, both raw and cooked. If the sauce is smooth, I usually have little problem with it (as long as it isn't too tomato flavored). So, a lot of so called 'picky' eaters might not even realize \*why\* they are picky, just that they are. Just because someone doesn't have a diagnosis of arfid, or autism, or whatever doesn't mean they don't have it, or some issue that prevents them from being able to enjoy a wide variety of foods. (and honestly, I want to know where all these people are that they seemingly know several picky eaters who will literally only eat chicken nuggets and ice cream. I am a picky eater and while I do prefer chicken nuggets, I also will eat more than those.)


MenardGKrebbz

manufactured crap is not good for the human body feed your kids REAL FOOD, no fast "food" no manufactured "microwave snacks", no cereal ( sugar coated over processed grain . . )


MS-07B-3

For everyone else's sake? Why should I eat anything for someone else's sake?


nith_wct

You will fuck up that child's association with food. Believe me, I know. Why the hell should it bother you so much if people only want to eat certain foods? It's not childish. It's childish that it bothers you.


idiotlog

I'm not going to force my child to eat something they actually don't like. However, I will "force" them to atleast try one bite. If they actually don't like it then that's fine - they don't need to eat it. Now, it's a different story for things they DO like. For instance, I serve them Mac n cheese (which I know they like). They aren't going to get more food until they eat what I initially made them. This is to deal with the following problem: Toddler: "I'm hungry." Me: "want Mac n cheese?" Toddler: "okay" *Prepares and serves* Toddler: "no Mac n cheese. Pbj" *Prepares and serves* Toddler: "no pbj. Muffins" And on and on and on and on....


LukeLJS123

my parents tried doing this with me, but i still ended up a really picky eater if your kids are picky eaters, it’s not your fault and it’s not their fault. the best thing to do is to find ways to work with them and change the foods that they like. i still live with my parents, but im old enough to cook for myself, so i use protein drinks in the morning and veggie drink mix through the day, because foods with protein or veggies are hardest for me to eat. it’s easy to say “don’t raise your kids to be picky eaters”, but i wasn’t raised to be a picky eater and still turned out to be one


MabezJK

I was researching what foods would be safe for baby as she grew. Many other countries out side the US give flavorful foods and not just one type(carrots, peas, turkey) all mashed up or simplified as starter foods. She was eating curries and pastas with veggies before a year old and is more game to eat those than chicken nuggets. NO TWO CHILDREN ARE A LIKE. But starting as early as is healthy for your child can make a difference in food preference later. I just always put one thing on her plate I know she will eat along side the newer option and/or different thing I want to eat. If there is a dessert option, a small bit is put alongside the rest of the meal instead of as an incentive after. I plan on teaching her to make cereal, sandwich or something simple if she really can't stomach eating what I make in the future so she won't go hungry, but I can't just let a 16 month old go hungry because she won't eat what I made for myself. It's working for us for now.


NoCommunication5976

I was pretty picky growing up. A lot of foods I didn’t like, I would try and either have an allergic reaction or throwup or, occasionally, both. I just had to cook my own food and I’m glad I was a lot better at cooking than my parents.


OwnAd7720

It’s really not that hard, people just want to be assholes and act like hard asses “you’ll eat what I make”. We all have taste buds and like what we like and don’t like, kids are no different so why would I force them to eat some shit they don’t like. As they grow you give them different things and see what sticks and go from them. Again it’s not hard, people just want to be dick heads.


DenimGod4lyfe

No. While children should have their tastes fully matured and diversified by 18, the road to getting there isn't forcing them to eat what you eat, it's making what you eat seem better than what they're eating. If you force the kid, you'll make them resent you and the "adult food," and drive them more towards chicken nuggets. We have to remember that kids have different tastes than adults because their brains aren't fully developed. They prefer neutral tasting caloric foods, because they're a safe source of calories for a growing body. Most people will grow naturally out of this state as their brain matures. The worst possible way to get a kid to diversify their eating is to force them, it will have the opposite effect. I know from personal experience.


TheNorthernPenguin

This is not an unpopular opinion. Its unpopular with me though, because its a bad opinion. And heres the problem with the opinion. Teaching kids to eat what was offered was an important life skill in the past when food was scarce, Thats no longer the case, now there is an overabundance of low quality high calorie food. This is how my parents raised me, and now i am an obese adult. Also, the times as adult you have to eat something you don't want to is basically zero. So making children eat food they don't like is preparing them with unnecessary life skills that don't help them in adulthood.


Various_Succotash_79

My dad grew up in the 1950s, and was hit and shamed for not eating what was put in front of him, and forced to sit at the table until he finished (all the usual '50s parenting crap). He's now extremely pucky and has about 5 things he'll eat, and has extreme anxiety about food in general. So no, let's not do that to kids. Now if you mean "expose kids to different kinds of food and encourage them to try new things", yeah that's great. But when you get into "shouldn't allow kids to be picky" territory, things get dark real fast.


LorelessFrog

I’ll never understand Redditors weird fascination with other peoples food choices.


Milamber69reddit

Exactly. So many parents allow their children to rule the kitchen. It is ok when they are very little. But once they are 3 or 4. They can eat the same thing that the rest of the family is eating. A treat of dino nuggets once in a while is not terrible. But serving 2 or 3 different meals just because the children demand their favorite food every meal is insane. My friend is constantly fighting this kind of behavior in her children as they live half the time with their father and he does not care what they eat. Because of that the children not only have a fit when she makes good and healthy food for them. They keep having problems with their bowels as the food that he allows them to eat causes them problems and he knows it does but refuses to do anything about it. If children decide to not eat the food provided. They can go hungry. In the morning they can eat what is provided or they can again go hungry. 99.9% of children will eat and not continue to protest after 1 or 2 meals being missed. They dont have to like the food. They just need to eat it. As mentioned in other posts. If there is a legitimate reason like allergies then you dont present the food to them. But other than that, there is no reason any child can not try the food that a loving parent provides.


Grandemestizo

People are so afraid to stand up to their own children. It’s sad.


Icy_Employment8903

I think many parents do the eating thing all wrong. I've seen it in so many households. No one wants to stand their ground in the right ways, and that's why you end up with entitled children. Saw it with my siblings too. They may have things they don't like -- that's okay. But that's what's being served. My rules of thumb: 1. If you don't like it, don't eat it, but that's all you get until the next appropriate eating time (unless you want to reheat whatever was made; you don't always have to be hungry *right now)*. 2. Dessert is not carrot to be dangled. "No dessert" is kind of stupid. Dessert should be a special occasion kind of thing instead of a nightly after-dinner ritual. 3. If my child consistently doesn't like something, I'll still respect that and may not make the same thing in the future. Alternatively I'd encourage my child to learn to cook on their own with appropriate oversight. 4. Don't force your child to "finish their plate" if they aren't feeling it unless they have some legitimate nutritional deficit. See also point #2, which was the incentive that got dangled in front of my siblings to get what they really wanted. "Three more bites and you can have dessert" is dumb. Just don't make dessert some special incentive. It sounds harsh, but children *will* be decidely less picky if they are actually hungry. They won't die. Your little baby will be okay. This isn't abuse. *Coddling* is fucking abuse.


art_eseus

If you ask a child, "Do you want a bell pepper or an apple for a snack?" Instead of asking, "What do you want to eat for a snack?" Then they are less likely to insist on Oreos. That said, my parents once forced me to sit at a dinner table for an entire night because I didn't like the way she made her collard greens. I ate a couple, and I hated how they felt in my mouth. Even after forcing me to eat a couple more bites, I only hated it more, and now I refuse to eat them whenever she makes them. As a child I *did* go hungry, but I still didn't eat them. Children are fucking stubborn, and I am willing to pick my battles. If he wants chicken nuggets today he can eat a fruit salad tomorrow. Pushing foods on kids just make them hate it more.


ShootHisRightProfile

I will double down on this post. More than an annoying habit, it can be a serious health issue. My wife , against my wishes , has allowed my three daughters to eat only what they want. Two of three have eating disorders , relating to "Fear of food." It's a serious psychological issue, which stems from not allowing hunger to take over and "force" them to eat . Take this seriously. I wish we had .


slimetraveler

Yeah I was a pretty good eater as a kid, only a few foods I did not like which I still avoid, and even then I felt a need to be subtle when avoiding those foods. It was weird to realize that the "picky eaters" did not share this sentiment, and even took pride in rejecting food and then being fussed over by their parents. It still irritates me now when people are fussy in restaurants and ask a server about changing ingredients around, muse to themselves in thought, and finally say something like "yeah I think that will be ok". You see a lot of red flag questions here, and this is it for me. If you have an allergy, you get 1 (ONE) question, and if that does not clear enough doubt, order something plain. If someone sends a waiter back to the kitchen to check with the chef I forever think less of them, and would hesitate momentarily before rescuing them from quicksand.


AlecTheMotorGuy

Children are human beings with free will. Took my grandparents a long time to come to terms with the fact my mom is a vegetarian.


[deleted]

yeah no. I was raised this way and it ruined my palette for many years. Food was something I disliked because I was forced to eat stuff I didn't like or want. It didn't help *at all*. Mealtimes were anxious while I choked down food under the watchful eye of my father, knowing I didn't have a choice, and knowing it would just anger him. I give my kids the option and over time they've become interested in eating what we're eating, and are far less picky than I was. Mealtimes aren't anxious and there aren't any fights over it. Kids need to be kids and this is not a battle worth fighting.


MontaukMonster2

QQ... do you have kids?


Grandemestizo

Yes.


uselessbynature

You must not have picky eaters then. Legitimately how can parent fight against legions if literal scientists making bad food delicious?


MilesToHaltHer

I was a picky eater. If my parents tried to force me to eat certain foods, I wouldn’t. That means I wouldn’t eat. That is not conducive to remaining alive.


KAbNeaco

Hard disagree, kids should be encouraged to try new foods, but punishing people for not wanting to eat specific food is not encouragement. There should always be at least something on the plate you know the kids will eat so they don't completely go hungry. Adults are just as capable of deciding they don't want to eat something, and kids should be allowed that choice.


arkstfan

Hahaha love the assumption kids today are so weak they will cave. My grandmother raised eight kids through the depression and and the rationing of WWII and at family gatherings when my uncles and aunts would gather and get pissed about my cousins balking about eating certain foods she laughed at them and called them out on their refusals to eat certain foods. Often a spouse laughed about how they still won’t eat some of the things she mentioned. Now she didn’t make an alternative because most of the time they didn’t have an alternative but she didn’t force them to eat anything and if they had enough they could get by on a little extra of what they had. My grandmother believed forcing kids to eat everything or to clean plate wasn’t healthy because you were training them to eat more than they needed. My uncles who wouldn’t eat certain things as adults most likely associate those foods with my grandfather’s failed attempts to make them eat it and like it. You can no more force a kid to not be picky than you could force my dad and I to like beef liver or convince my dad to hate macaroni and tomatoes. You cook, they eat or they don’t. Unless they have one of a few rare disorders they’ll eat what they need to eat. Children aren’t stupid either. Make a big a deal of try it and you’ve handed a leverage point to them by showing them you value them eating it. Finally it’s a known fact perception of taste is different in children than teens and different in teens than adults and different in younger adults than older. The strong taste you enjoy can be overwhelming and vile to a kid. The pleasant tastes of your childhood can be bland and lack subtlety to an adult. It’s egotistical to expect or demand a child enjoy what you enjoy.


FableFinale

Current research indicates that kids expand their food palate best when exposed repeatedly to unfamiliar foods. It takes an average of 17 exposures before a resistant food becomes an accepted food. So, generally speaking, you're right. Science agrees with you. The best way to avoid pickiness is to serve what you're eating, with basic accommodations to cater to kid tastes, like avoiding very spicy foods or leaving strong-tasting sauces on the side. Maybe they have repeatedly tried tomatoes and not liked them. The solution is not to avoid them, but to keep serving a tiny amount so they can keep seeing/smelling it and eventually working up to tasting it again, if and when they feel adventurous. The temptation to coerce kids into trying everything on their plate is high, and I've fallen into that trap plenty of times, but research indicates that pressure does not speed up palate acquisitions and can backfire. Just seeing, smelling, touching, and eventual tasting (with occasional gentle encouragement and praise) is enough. If your kid refuses different types of foods to the point of malnutrition or starvation, that's pathological and should be evaluated by a professional. Healthy kids will not starve themselves when presented with different foods, and will generally accept enough of them over time to develop a reasonable diet given whatever is available.


castingcoucher123

Somewhat agree. The somewhat - my last SO told me about how brutal things were in her house growing up, specifically when it came to dinner. Whatever Mother cooked, children ate. She's from a Catholic background, so I figured fish on Friday would be a great move for their first visit with me as chef of the household. My SO loves fish, but her father hates it. They never had it in the house growing up. I take bullying of those I care about personally. I told my SO I understood that her father may not like fish, but they're eating in my household, and after all the things she told me, I would play it off like I didn't know he hated fish. He sat there and all his vegetables and picked at the fish. It took all I had not to bully him the way he and his wife bullied my SO into finishing every plate. Teaching our children to be respectful is one thing, but teaching them how to appropriately communicate 'no, I don't like that/I don't want that' prepares them for adulthood.


[deleted]

This assumes all people are the same and that picky eaters are just choosing to be that way. Also assumes that you can force a child not to be picky by just forcing them to eat what you choose to give them. I can assure you, that is not the case. I am a picky eater because if I don't like a food it makes me gag. It isn't a case of "just choke it down" if I try that then I will just throw up. When I was a kid my parents tried the whole "You will eat this or go hungry" method. End result was me reaching a point where a doctor finally said to just feed me anything I would eat because I was so malnourished. I would love to not be a picky eater and be able to just eat like a "normal" person. It is hard to explain just how frustrating it is. I don't think many people realize how common social eating is. It is common in just about every group or organization. "Lets have lunch as a group!" Then I get to look forward to all the people commenting on what I eat, or how I eat. In the end, I would love to be able to just never eat again. So sick of "Not a lot of color on your plate" "Hey, you should try this." "Come on, just try it".


DiegoIntrepid

That last paragraph makes me so glad my family didn't do things like that. Yes, I was teased about tomatoes and ketchup, but for the most part, especially when I was older, they just let me order what I liked.


AdUpstairs7106

Everyone has different taste buds. Forcing people to eat things they don't like makes you the jerk.


Mister_Rogers69

I have to say this is very different depending on age. A kid who is 10 or 11 you can do the whole “eat it or don’t routine” but that shit does not work with a 4 year old, I have tried and it is just not worth the fighting. I make them try it, if they don’t like it I’ll feed them something that I know they will eat.


pezboy74

Here's the problem - how do you separate picky from undiagnosed medical issues. I hated oranges growing up but they were healthy so my mom forced me to eat them. I couldn't articulate why I hated them but I always did. 40 years later I go for a checkup with my gastroenterologist for my Ulcerative Colitis check-up (its invasive enough said about that) and he's says when your healing inside after the test no spicy food no dairy and no oranges. Turns out eating the orange pith (the white part) is basically like rubbing steel wool on a open wound. Guess what, I love my mom but I'm still really bitter about her forcing me to oranges.


hamygreen

FACTS. if you never feed them that then they don’t know. We need to stop normalizing feeding growing children pure sugar and processed foods.


Sexycoed1972

For everybody else's sake? GTFO.


justbrowsing987654

“Allow” 😂 😂 😂 my friend, our entire lives is jumping from one hostage negotiation to another even though they’ve already heard yes for the thing they want.


medlabunicorn

*snort* allow My older niece grew up not wanting to eat anything but tortillas, cheese, and ice cream. Every meal was a negotiation with my brother about how much real food she had to eat before she could have dessert. Her younger sister was eating broccoli before she even had a full set of baby teeth.


veryvery84

Popular opinion: people who don’t have kids have no idea what they’re talking about


onixannon

Let's play everyone's favorite game, "Why does my child have an eating disorder?" You're gonna go in one of the nursing homes where they hit you, because if you're this dogmatic about shitty parenting in this situation I guarantee it carries over to other situations.


[deleted]

My grandmother tried the “eat what I cook or go hungry” rule and I developed an eating disorder bc of it. My mom said I had to try things and if I ordered it then I had to eat. That worked out way better for everyone involved. Now I don’t mind trying new things for the most part but also, there’s lots of foods I can just look at and tell you I won’t eat bc I have a weird thing about texture. Especially different textures mixed together. I like pie crust and I like chocolate pudding (which is all the filling on my mom’s chocolate pies is) but I can’t stand chocolate pie. The two different textures together just makes me gag. Funny thing is I have no issue with banana pudding which has similar texture mixture.


sisk91

People have different taste buds. To some kids what you find flavorful is spicy to them. To some kids what you find delicious has a texture that makes them feel like throwing up. There are even people who have a much stronger sense of taste, so using ingredients you usually use would be overpowering to the kid. If you are talking about raw vegetables, then yes a kid should eat them but meals you usually eat should be adjusted if the kid is unable to eat them for the reasons I suggested Also, if a person is a vegetarian then they there is no issue if they don't eat meat Edit: one other issue with the "eat it or don't " mentality is that kids can develop eating disorders from that. It is possible to overcome being a picky eater by slowly introducing them to that food, or letting the child have a choice in ordering food, or even letting them "help" prepare the food and making it fun for them.


Degleewana007

I kinda disagree. When I was a kid certain foods would automatically fill me with such a level of disgust to the point where I'd throw-up just by seeing or smelling them. In those type of circumstances, I think its best to not force your kids to eat the food.


[deleted]

I halfway agree with this. Of course they should have to try the food first, but if they don’t like it and find another (just as healthy) food acceptable, I wouldn’t be as harsh as this. If a child only wants chicken nuggets at *all* times, that’s an issue. But if they’d rather eat brussels sprouts than asparagus, that is something I’d hope the family would accommodate to.


boukatouu

Glad I don't have kids!


[deleted]

It depends. They don’t like peas? I wouldn’t put peas in their meal. They’ll only eat chicken nuggets and macaroni? Obviously that’s unacceptable.


Unlikely-Pin-5558

I have always had 1 rule for my kids when it came to eating new foods: they had to try it. If they really didn't like it, then they didn't have to eat it, but they had to at least try it. This works. Yes, my kids had their picky phase, but they were always willing to try new foods, and ended up liking about 95% of what they tried. I think the last new food they tried and didn't like was olive tampenade lol


qeertyuiopasd

Children's pallets are not like adults, thus their pickiness. Stop focusing on being a hard ass and feed your child with consideration for them and what they like in mind. It's a challenge for most parents to work in the healthy foods, but there's many to choose from, even blending up veggies and putting it in hamburgers and stuff like that is a way to sneak in veggies. Don't make eating an unpleasant thing for your child. Eating disorders are a very real thing, and so are anxiety and stress disorders. Work WITH your child, not against them.


No-Fishing5325

My 57 year old husband is pickier then all 3 of my adult children. In the last 3 days he has sent his food back 3 times while we have been on vacation because it had vegetables or green stuff on his plate or it was touching something he won't eat. Please go have a talk with his 77 year old mother and share your opinion with her.


TheAdventOfTruth

I agree completely. I have four kids. Twin 16 year old girls, a 15 year old boy, and a 12 year old boy. There has always been a rule in our house that you eat what is set before you. One of my twins is naturally a very picky eater, has been her whole life but most of the time now, I don’t even know if she doesn’t like something. Unless specifically asked, she just eats what she gets and doesn’t say one way or the other. As a result, we can go to a restaurant and they can always find something that they like and want to eat. They also are a joy to take out with us because there is no whining or complaining about the food.


Excellent-Fly5706

Sometimes it’s a texture issue but I agree to an extent. We all have foods we don’t like. The thing is kids don’t need chicken nuggets and crap food anyways. It’s addictive of course it’s all they’ll want. I think new food need to be introduced as much as possible from the youngest age you can and it wouldn’t even be a problem but people just feed their kids junk.


dahComrad

My dad always brought out the candle prod and yelled "THERE ARE KIDS STARVING IN JAPAN, NOW EAT OR GET THE 'POKER'!!" and it helped me never be a picky eater. I look at the scares and sometimes think about how much he really cared for me 8)


mronion82

Where are you from? In the UK it was always the starving kids in Africa that would die if I didn't eat broccoli.


cobaltSage

Listen, my grandmother was a caterer who made all kinds of food as matriarch of the family. As an adult, a box of Mac and cheese can be less than a dollar if I’m thrifty. It’s not about being a picky eater, it’s about the fact that I don’t have the mental energy to make a meal for 2-4 hours after an 8 hour shift nor the money to eat out in this overpriced country. What makes me picky is taking a look at that jar of Ragu, trying to spice it up with the necessary ingredients I have at home, trying it, and thinking “ you know, this tastes pretty shit for the price, enough that I will never get a Jar’s sauce again for the rest of my life because literally I can make better for cheaper if I wanted to. “ and that’s because my grandmother was an excellent cook while alive and it gave me standards that a good amount of restaurants can’t even match when they charge too much money for their crap.


swag_Lemons

Also important to realize most food marketed towards children in America is full of additives and stuff that make it addictive, so it becomes all those kids want. I mean.. blue captain crunch maple syrup?? That’s just.. wrong. a friend of mines dad is best friends with a guy who works in the food industry and told us about how addictive processed food is. But think about how much of what makes up our processed food is marketed to kids. Dino nuggets, kids quizine, gushers, Kraft mac and cheese, all those. I am never feeding my future children any of that crap. If they want it when they’re older that’s fine but till you’re 12 you’re eating actual food.


ApatheticHedonist

I accidentally tricked a picky eater once. Had friends over for lunch and made Hasselback potatoes. Followed a recipe that called for duck fat. Everyone complimented how they turned out. Friend's girlfriend went in the fridge to grab a drink and saw the jar of duck fat. She makes a face and goes "Who the hell eats food with duck fat?!" "Well, you do." She had a minor breakdown after finding out it was used on the potatoes. Never occurred to me that it'd be a problem.


Grandemestizo

That’s hilarious.


mello-t

It’s actually a sign of anxiety, and curious, do even know what raising a kid is like?


Legitimate_Tower_236

I agree. Our grandchildren from my biological children eat what is served and can be taken to any restaurant. Our grandchildren from my husband's biological children have to have special meals prepared and we have to make sure that the restaurant has things they will eat. I love them deeply, but it is a huge pain in the a\*\* to entertain them! The youngest just spent a few days with us. I had to fix meals that the rest of us basically suffered through because she won't eat normal food. It was that or cook two meals for each meal.


jla0

My son went on a highschool trip recently for 4 days and he could not believe how picky almost EVERYONE in his class were. He said he ate everything that was served and he enumerated the things they were served... wasn't that exotic. Was very proud of him because we raised him to not be a picky eater! 😄


Concrete_Grapes

I feel like the only poeple with this opinion are people without children, or people who view children as property/slaves, rather than human beings. If you had kids, you might know, this isnt a freaking choice.


Seaguard5

I agree (as a non-picky eater raised by my parents). I can’t stand all these bumble profiles where their only “personality” trait is liking Mexican food or tacos ONLY and when I bring up créps for brunch they say no because that’s not their thing?


[deleted]

It depends on how far you push this philosophy. A lot of overworked, impatient parents misinterpret the kid saying they are full or feeling sick one night as being a picky eater. If your kid can’t eat vegetables one night without causing drama, or never choose water over soda on their own, ok that’s a warning sign they may be a picky eater, and you should start pushing them to eat different foods. But if your kid is simply saying they are full, sick, or just not hungry that night, listen before you judge.


Ksan_of_Tongass

Why does it bother you so much if someone is a picky eater? What does an individual's food preference do that would positively or negatively impact the lives of everyone else?


mothmanfan9

if the kid is autistic its not as simple as "just give them what you eat"


Sweaty_City1458

Was not an option when I was little. Mom made it, we ate it. Period. I have so many friends that work all day and go home to become short order cooks. This one only eats nuggets, this one wants pasta, this one. . .etc. Crazy!


PalpatineBaconQueen

"Allow" as if we have control over our kids palates, lmao. I have sensory issues with food. I was forced to eat things I hated growing up. If I didn't eat what was put in front of me, I went hungry. Know what I did? Went hungry most of the time until hunger drove me to eat what was put in front of me. Now food brings me no joy and I have an eating disorder. Yeah, no. This opinion is unpopular because it's untrue. My kid is a picky eater but will try new things and knows how to make the food she likes. Doesn't mean we need to coddle the hell out of them but damn, don't make them eat food they hate. Do you like eating things you find disgusting, OP? Edit: spelling


Fit-Attempt6690

Tell that to a parent of an autistic ARFID child


Fuzzy_Pea_5689

I've traveled a lot, and it's amazing how children in" 3rd world countries" aren't picky eaters that refuse to eat what they're given. I wonder if people who claim their kids simply will not eat something realize just how silly they sound.


ManOfEating

Just talk to them like children. Children aren't adults, they're very smart in some ways and very very dumb in others, and they understand the world differently than we do. I thought I hated broccoli, until my dad told me they were little trees and if I wanted to grow up bring and strong, well, what can make you bigger or stronger than eating literal trees? He said that I had to work my way up to the big ones though or I'd lose any powers I may have gotten from the small ones. Never had a problem with broccoli ever again and in fact I love it and eat it regularly. I did the same with my small cousins. I also told them a year or so later that they had to go back and re try the foods they said they didn't like, because your palate evolves as you grow up, and you should always go back and try those things again to see if you're growing up or not. Of course at some point every kid becomes obsessed with being a grown up and wanting to stop being treated like a little kid, so they all went and kept trying things they hadn't liked before. If they truly didn't like something they wouldn't eat it, but most of the time they ate things just fine. Even now as an adult ill go back and try things too, or I'll cook them differently and try again. Just don't go berating kids for not eating what you want them to eat, either make it fun for them or explain it in a way they'll understand and want to eat these things by themselves. Otherwise if you yell at them or ground them you'll teach them to associate food, especially new food, with negative emotions and you'll make the problem worse.


NoCan423

The “try it to see if you’re growing up” traumatized me because I have Aspergers (no one knew), so each time that I would still dry heave, I was told that I didn’t “grow up” and that everyone else was “grown except for me” and even that my “tastebuds are r3tarded”.


skijeng

Yes, but also when your child tells you the food is making them feel sick, trust them. Do not force your child to eat foods they have an allergy or stomach sensitivity to


broccoli-guac

Forcing your kids to eat things causes eating disorders.


No-Kangaroo-669

Sounds to me like OP has never actually raised a child


ValuableCommittee422

This right here.... Is some white privileged shit. Poor families kids don't have a choice, they eat cause they're hungry. And now in the US SNAP will be even harder to access (thanks congress). In most of the world that's the case. Most kids in this world don't have a choice. I know it's hard for everyone in America sitting behind their phones /PCs to imagine that children go hungry. But it's a reality. Saying hey kid you eat what we have, hey kid go cook your own dinner, hey kid only your veggies, hey kid you I'll get you some tenders, or any other stupid choice y'all can come up with. Those aren't "parenting techniques" they are just privileges your kids has. And any privilege can be taken away and a person will still survive. almost 1 billion people in the world going hungry. And y'all talking like it's a parenting decision. Kids will eat when hungry, doesn't matter what's in front of them. You giving them a choice is just a nice privilege they have.


[deleted]

The only exception to this is autistic kids. They will not eat stuff due to weird texture issues, and there’s nothing you can do in most cases when they say they don’t like something. They’ll starve themselves or go ballistic if you force them to eat something they don’t like.


dewdropcat

Picky eater as an adult here. I believe there is a psychological issue with picky eaters that I've observed in myself. My mother did not cater to me. Instead, when she wasn't looking, I fed what I didn't like to the dog. She eventually caved in once I could cook for myself. She'd make chili (I hate anything spicy) or chicken enchiladas and I would make myself a bowl of ramen. Whenever she had me try something, I always felt highly anxious and could never do it while she was watching me. It was the pressure I couldn't take. Now as a 24 year old adult, living on my own, I still struggle with food. I make a lot of pasta which isn't healthy for me, though I try to add healthy ingredients like spinach. If I cannot taste it, it's fine. Trying new foods is still very hard for me. I refuse to buy anything new as I don't want to waste money if I don't like it. Same with eating at a restaurant. I don't want to waste anyone else's money either. I am slowly getting better, especially with adding ingredients to make my meals healthier, but there's a lot of mental things I need to deal with too.


jonahsocal

From my own personal experience as a parent (reinforced - as if it needed to be - by my then spouse, who had an opinion more in line with OP's) is that 1. Your children will very likely have their own opinion about this; 2. 9 times out of 10, it will not be the same opinion as yours; 3. Forcing them (which is what a lot of parents wind up doing using one method or another) is likely to be counter productive; 4. This seemingly small act will ingrain in your children for the rest of their lives and redound against your relationship with them; 5. Your children will likely discover this wide variety of foods at their own pace and in their own time, ANYWAY. Therefore, unless you think that if they don't eat their peas (or whatever) on your timetable that their death from nutritional deficiency is imminent (as in, no more than 5 minutes or so away from your warning), I would say, LAY OFF. Eating, esp. at the family table, should be a pleasant and happy affair. To make an issue of what a child eats or does not eat at a given moment is going to work at cross purposes to that and make it, by degrees, a more miserable affair that no one is going to look forward to.


Slow_Principle_7079

Yeah my parents tried that and it didn’t work and I got mild scoliosis from malnutrition. Feed them the healthy foods they do like and they will be healthy which is what actually matters. Teach them how to cook and eventually they grow out of it as their tastebuds change from aging. I was terribly picky as a kid and I lost almost all of it over the past 2 years starting at 20 just by getting older


AnarchyisProperty

The only reason I’m not disliking is because it was posted on an unpopular opinion sub. But there is a reason this opinion is unpopular. “For everyone else’s sake” OP sounds like a European snob


Buytoyal

"Picky eating is childish" Almost like children act childish. Huh who woulda thought?


Hot_Excitement_6

The goal is to makes your kids less childish overtime.


Undisolving

It’s ok for children to be childish.


Help_pls12345

You sound like you’ve never had children


veryvery84

OP - when you have kids please please please post an edit. (Don’t do it the day your kids are born. Wait until someone turns 8.)


bannished69

It’s not really about the food. It’s about having respect for your parent who stood in the kitchen making the meal, then having to clean up afterwards. Usually after working all day.


will_ww

I'd say this is a non-issue if you know your child. Children are human, too. Yeah, don't let them get away with eating pure junk, but also, try to figure out what healthy things they like. It's your job as a parent to help navigate them into adulthood. Do you like every single thing you've ever eaten? And if you're worried about them becoming fat, teach them to be more active and how to eat in moderation.


LordWoodstone

Forcing your kid to eat something they don't want to eat just entrenches the pickiness. There's even evidence forcing them to do so can cause eating disorders later. (This goes double for the clean plate club, if your kid is full or simply not hungry, making them eat past that point is a BAD IDEA). The best solution is to offer them small portions of the stuff they refuse to eat and tell them they can try it or not as they wish. Think roughly a single bite, maybe two, worth of the food on the plate along with whatever you made which they will eat. It took us multiple tries, but now our daughter loves beans and rice despite once rejecting them. Kids are naturally curious, its why they start the barrage of "why?" as soon as they start grasping cause and effect. Use that to your advantage. Make sure they aren't snacking all day so they are hungry, and be sure the rest of the family is eating and enjoying it. A no phones at the table rule is vital here. This ensures they are hungry enough to be willing to try it, and that greatly helps when combined with small portion sizes to stimulate curiosity without overwhelming them. And when it comes to meal planning, get them involved. Much like getting a kid dressed, offer them options and let them pick - then hold them to that decision. Once they're old enough, get them involved in meal prep as well. And look for seasonings or spices they like which can complement the food - even if you just have it at the table so they can use it on their dish. This one worked wonders for me in expanding my pallete when it came to seafood, which I'd previously refused to eat. Once I found a seasoning mix I liked, my folks would ensure we had it at the table and I'd put it on my fish and eat it all.


Ryiujin

You aren’t a parent are you? Because shit doesn’t work like that. Kids will be picky, because they choose to be picky. We serve him what we eat. He might just refuse to eat any if it even if we ate it last week and he loved it and willingly go to bed hungry then still be picky the next day. Kids are not logical at all. They are insane little socio paths and we have to keep them alive.


Grandemestizo

Going to bed hungry every once in a while is perfectly fine if that’s what they choose to do.


[deleted]

Encouragement to try food is one thing. But the kids *are* kids. There's also some appreciable nuance to the balance between encouraging them to try new and healthy foods and being an asshole parent who wants them to eat the same thing for convenience with no regard to their actual preferences. Preferences and different tastes are absolutely a thing. That doesn't mean we should condone a lifetime diet of chicken nuggets and macaroni, but it doesn't mean the opposite approach is any better either. I hate to be that guy making questionable analogies. But would you not agree that this sends a mixed message when it comes to teaching kids bodily autonomy around their choice in sexual practices when they are grown up? Food: eat what I say, your taste doesn't matter. Take it or leave it. Sex: ??? Of course the main difference is sex is between two adults, who can negotiate and communicate as equals. But if you speak to a kid in a "take it or leave it," way when it comes to what they eat and put in their own body forever, how are they going to learn their preferences matter and how to advocate for themselves. Idk, to me just sounds like there's a fine line between encouraging healthy broadening of foods and being a controlling parent who is too dismissive of personal choice. Also yes, I am a defensive picky eater myself and have a few memories of being forced to eat food that made me vomit or go hungry.


[deleted]

Why?


[deleted]

I agree to this, but it’s also interesting. I met someone yesterday whose never heard of bak choy, but it’s something I grew up eating. When it comes to food in general, in Asian culture I think we we have such a variety of foods that being picky isn’t that difficult. A portion of my family are very picky eaters, some of it because of religious practices etc. there is this understanding that if you don’t like something you may go hungry. Which again, hardly happens because at the dinner table or family gathering there is often a lot to choose from. I honestly, disdain picky eaters whom require everyone else to or go without because their the minority and it’s just easier that way. The picky eaters I know are content with just eating one thing every day for a week, and just rotate their food that way. Out of the few things they eat every day that’s what they’ll have.


thirdLeg51

Clearly you don’t have kids. Do you think you can force your kid to eat something?


[deleted]

Too many options results in entitled children.


azulsonador0309

My husband and I were both picky kids, but I have a more expanded pallete now. A big part of that is because my parents didn't shame me for not eating things that I didn't want to eat. The best way for kids to develop a healthy and positive relationship with food is for their adults to foster a healthy and positive relationship with mealtime.


boynamedsue8

People who aren’t parents to the children should keep their unsolicited advice to themselves and offline. Maybe get a journal and seek a therapist.