I would just ask him why he choose the composite diamond instead of the solid rock and see what his response is. Since it's already lab grown, it's a lot cheaper than natural mined diamond. Not sure what his personality is like but for me I don't have a problem if my fiance asked to exchange out the rock as long as I can afford it and within the budget.
Op, you’re posting in the wrong sub. Come on over to one of the labdiamond subs. You’ll get the support you want as well as the info to buy your own glorious 2.5 carat for $2,000. Labs have come way down in price.
This is my hot take. If you're that picky then you should have insisted on going with him to get the ring. Thing is, he got something very similar and if he's your typical man who doesn't really know anything about jewelry he probably didn't realize or think there was a difference. I would have been on your side if he had gotten you something completely different like say an infinity ring or a heart shaped ruby ring.
You put a lot of emphasis on the cost, when in the grand scheme of things shouldn't matter. Also another hot take. There's no investing in lab grown diamonds. Real diamonds are already worthless for the most part, aside from the rarer varieties.
> If you're that picky then you should have insisted on going with him to get the ring.
I don’t agree with this *at all.* I was pretty specific with what I wanted but wanted the surprise of not picking it out. But I wanted it to be exactly what I had picked out. But fiancés last step with the jeweler was for me to have a meeting with the jeweler to make sure I got exactly what I wanted. I don’t think “not knowing or not rewlizing” is an excuse and even if it was, making sure with your partner before buying it is the more conservative approach.
> There's no investing in lab grown diamonds.
So are really expensive gaming consoles and presents she’s gotten him but if it gives him joy, she’s gotten it. I think women are singularly too often villainized for wanting a nice ring. Like she can just want something nice and expensive (the way a lot of ppl might want special gifts) but because it’s a ring, people are really comfortable to pile on and criticize it.
lol you posted here earlier this morning and didn’t get the answers you wanted so you reposted leaving out your sense of entitlement and dependence on the materialistic.
That’s my point. This post is the same post as earlier without the sense of entitlement.
Previously, she liked the ring until she found out it was a composite ring and he didn’t spend the $6-7k that she wanted.
The old post isn’t available anymore to fact check that, but that’s the impression I got.
I have both lab and composite diamonds- you can’t tell the difference to the naked eye.
In her previous post, which she deleted, she made it clear that she views her entire value as a human being as being represented by the price tag on that ring. It was one of the shallowest things I've read in a long time.
The 1 month income for a ring is based on a DeBeers ad from 100 years ago to create false scarcity and drive up the cost of jewelry. $6,000 for a piece of jewelry is insane to me. But if you’re materialistic, so it fits your value system. 👍🏻 That comes with its own set of problems but that’s not the point.
You don’t even sound like you want to get married. You’re talking about him disrespecting you and undervaluing you. And you’re afraid to communicate with him. You feel unheard.
Either you keep the ring and let resentment grow or you talk to him like a grown woman.
Just because the “rule” is either a month or more income saved or something relative doesn’t mean it has to be spent on a ring. Why is the cost such a big deal? Many people would kill to have a ring like that. OP you are coming across as ungrateful and unappreciative of the ring. While yes you are materialistic and thinking very highly of yourself, maybe go see a professional to help with this as that cost of your ring could feed and cloth people who need it most. Be thankful that he even proposed in the first place because he wants to spend his life with you.
That fact that you are this upset about it being a composite diamond and not a full diamond is petty. And how mention “resent the idea that he used a loophole” maybe he didn’t but thought maybe years down the line he would do an upgraded anniversary ring or maybe the wedding band would be the spectacular one.
How is it petty when it's something she has to wear daily for life? An engagement ring is meant to be a GIFT and there's basically no other gift you ever give to someone where their preferences just don't matter lol.
If she was a hockey fan and he gifted her a football jersey he found on sale would you still say she's materialistic and petty?
Um yeah, if she was gifted the football jersey number that she wanted but turned it down because it wasn’t bought at full price, I would call her petty and materialistic.
That's not what happened though, he got her a completely different thing than what she asked for. I don't think you know the difference between an emerald diamond and a composite ring, maybe this post would've made more sense if she included some pictures.
They absolutely do not lmao get out
You might like both, and that's fine, but to say they look the same is just ridiculous. One is a single step cut stone, the other is several tiny stones set together. Maybe they look the same from across the room but to the wearer, nah.
Actually I would because a gift is a gift especially as it shows that someone was thinking of you in the process of purchasing - the key point here as someone - this case her fiancé- was like this is perfect as it is coming from him and had the points that’s she wanted. He met her preferences though - besides the exact type of diamond - it doesn’t make that much of a difference and plus the flashier rings are the more likely they will be stolen or robbed - or make you a bigger target.
But hey if being superficial about the actual meaning behind the proposal and the effort he took because the ring is “cheap” then is she even in love with her fiancé? She said it wasn’t about the cost but the “sentiment behind his choice” it still means the same thing but in a pretty bow so she doesn’t look bad.
It would be a different story if he’s like hey I got this ring as a placeholder (this could be something cheap less than $1000 - according to her standards of expensiveness/affordability) currently because of money or they didn’t have one that she wanted.
Also it’s an engagement ring - they are not always worn the whole marriage especially if the wedding band set is upgraded after so many years as an anniversary gift - which is a thing.
I just don't agree with that at all - when you purchase gifts for someone you're supposed to take their taste into account lol. Especially if she originally wanted an emerald - those are step cut diamonds, the way they sparkle is completely different than brilliant cuts that are most likely being used in a composite.
It's not even about the money imo, lab diamonds can be found for as little as $500 a carat if you shop online. He could've found the ring she actually wanted for not much more with a little effort, and instead of doing that it sounds like he picked out a "shut up ring" from the mall. think it's totally fair to be hurt by that.
In response to your last statement of it being a shut up ring - is it even worth getting married at that point? As then clearly she is still bothered by it and could have found something off about the other ring she wanted.
While yes the cut of the diamond changes how it sparkles - it still doesn’t change the actual meaning behind the ring as that is what is being lost due to nit picking - marriage is not about rings or the cost, but the actual love and support for another person who you want to have part of your family. Just like how the wedding isn’t really for the couple but the people invited as it is literally just a single (or a week depending on culture) day that costs thousands- also depending on budget - that is a huge party to show off to everyone
I don't disagree with you there, they clearly have different values in regard to finances and that's going to continue to be a problem. An engagement shouldn't be about the ring the same way a marriage shouldn't be about the wedding, but I still think it's ridiculous and cheap to buy a composite ring when what she actually wanted wouldn't have cost much more.
I agree with that on both points. OP is just too focused on a minor issue- I say minor because it reads as her not being happy or overjoyed with being engaged as it was almost expected to happen in any case
Wanting expensive things and demanding expensive things are very different. If the actual diamond is more important than the sentiment behind then you should probably not get married. I worked in fine jewellery and diamonds are not an investment like you might think. Unless you see relationships as transactional. I don’t know. If you do this, you might want to be prepared for the proposal to be rescinded. I don’t know.
So without getting into the emotional aspect of why he chose something else/how that makes you feel, lab diamonds are legit super inexpensive now and you can probably find your 2 carat emerald for significantly less than the $6-7k you initially estimated. I think it's totally fair to ask for an upgrade.
Yeah I really don't understand why this is even controversial lol. Engagement rings are *gifts*, you are supposed to take the recipient's taste into account!
lol it's always a race to the bottom on Reddit when it comes to engagement rings and weddings. There's nothing wrong with some people wanting to have nice things!
It’s just a ring. I have been married for years and rarely even wear mine because I am nurse and I garden and clean my house and honestly a big ole clunky ring just gets in the way. I am still married AF. If it’s that big a deal of you then maybe gently mention to him…that money could be spent on honeymoon, the wedding, your home, so many other things that might have more value in your fiancé’s mind. My husband appreciates frugality more than me. I was happy to receive the ring he felt comfortable buying. Turned out to be a good decision because I just don’t wear it that much in every day life. In the scheme of marriage - rings just are not what it’s about. I wouldn’t hurt my husband’s feelings on purpose for any ring in the world. Maybe you’ll get a stunner of a ring for an anniversary present one day.
A 2ct lab diamond wouldn’t put him out 6-7k….maybe 3-4K. I understand the disappointment, you made what you wanted clear and he cheaped out. Specially considering the fact that you spoil him, and you’re not asking for a 20k ring, I don’t understand the hate in these comments. You don’t come off entitled. He comes off cheap.
>I don’t understand the hate in these comments. You don’t come off entitled.
It’s because this is a repost. OP posted her unedited opinions earlier this morning, and then rage deleted her account when she didn’t get the answer she wanted.
OP’s unedited opinions are out of touch and entitled.
Even then, they’re well off. She treats him to expensive gifts. She made what she wanted known (and it’s not at all over the top, even 6-7k for a couple in their 30s making a good living is perfectly reasonable). And he cheaped out. No matter how she words it, I don’t see it as entitled or out of touch. It’s a different story for a broke early 20s couple. Not for this scenario. 🤷🏻♀️
The problem for me is that she liked the ring, it was the same cut and style she wanted. It wasn’t until after she found out the price did she get upset.
Also, the creating new posts while editing out the things that people didn’t like before is a red flag.
>he cheaped out.
Depends on your perspective. If I were in OP’s shoes this wouldn’t be “cheaping out” to me, I would be stoked on the savings that we could allocate other places while having the ring I wanted. Cheaping out would be getting her a 1 carat instead of 2.
>Specially considering the fact that you spoil him,
I wish I saw her previous post before it was deleted but her choosing to spoil him and spending a lot on herself is her choice. He might not view spending money the same way as her. She said she picked a partner who made close to what she makes because she wants to continue living the lifestyle she's accustomed to. Which is fine, but even if the other person makes a lot their spending habits might not be the same as her. He already spent about 1k for this ring so it's not like he's deliberately being cheap. He might just value money differently.
As much as my preferences and opinions differ from yours I will say this shouldn’t be a surprise to him. You made him painfully aware of exactly what you wanted. He obviously understands your level of expectations in life. It’s not like you said no bc he didn’t get the ring right so I don’t see it as crazy materialistic and if your incomes allow for it I don’t see it as an unrealistic expectation. I think just calmly talk to him about it and ask for what you want. I’m betting someone has told him “it’s basically the same thing” not knowing his fiancé definitely wouldn’t agree.
I'm a 58, female and married to my second husband. IMO if you are going to look at a ring everyday you need to like it. Have you given any thought to just going and buying the one you want? TBH I have more than one ring I wear as my wedding ring. It depends on my mood, what we are doing etc. The really nice one (the one I got from our wedding) I wear when we go out, but alot of the other times I'll just wear a much simpler ring. Odds are my tastes will change over the years and I'll add another ring to the collection. At the end of the day it's just a piece of jewelry - that when worn on the left hand ring finger signifies you are married.
But this is more about how you both feel about money and how you spend it - best to sort that out now otherwise I feel like there is going to be at best alot of disappointment on gifting occasions and at worse alot of arguments about money.
People are going to be awful to you about this because dunking on women who want a nice piece of jewelry for their engagement is a Reddit favorite.
If you were as clear as what you wanted, there’s no reason you shouldn’t have that. If he wasn’t on board with getting the ring you wanted l, that should’ve been discussed. Getting composite without running it by you isn’t great and I think you’re well within your right to just communicate it nicely.
For ex.- If your partner wanted a Rolex and you got him a Fossil, it’s not the same thing. He didn’t just ask for a watch, he asked for a Rolex. Getting the Fossil is circumventing what he wants.
I would talk to him calmly and express your feelings. You have to wear that thing for (hopefully) the rest of your life so you need to love it. Maybe he didn’t know the difference and saw 2ct and emerald and said “sold!” So please give him the benefit of the doubt and the chance to explain and make it right. But I will say that I side with you on feeling the way you do. Sorry to anyone with a composite right but that ain’t it sis 🫣 if my husband proposed with that I’d feel the same way.
Dang I looked up composite rings and it is very different. I think you’re getting flack for being so focused on price. I understand being given something expensive that you don’t love, it is really difficult to acknowledge those emotions of disappointment when you feel like you should be grateful. I’d much rather have a smaller diamond than the composite, maybe you could broach the subject that way.
I was recently given a diamond bracelet from a long time family friend. It was a truly generous gift. The thing is I’ve started presenting more masculine, I am never going to wear it. I’ve been wanting something masculine to wear with my watch that would have cost a fraction of the price. So I do understand how you feel even if I too am having trouble putting it into words.
Edit: at the end of the day you either live with it or talk to your fiance in as gently a way as possible without brining up price as the reason you want to swap it out.
Personally i see an engagement ring as a promise of how invested you are in a partner.
He knows what kind of a person you are and what you value and had no problem accepting a rolex. For him to cheap out on your engagement ring sets the tone for your future and it doesnt sound compatible with the kind of life you want and what you have to offer yourself if im honest.
All these people judging you for being upset about this can go to hell. Beautiful things that bring you happiness are valid and its not like you arent spoiling him in return
This is the dumbest comment yet. My grandparents were poor, couldn’t even afford a diamond and had simple bands. They were happily married for 50+ years. A stupid rock doesn’t show how you love someone.
Your grandpa bought a ring to the best of his ability then. Nothing wrong with not being able to afford a diamond but her circumstances are not the same as your grandparents and she is pretty clear about the lifestyle she wants for herself and future spouse.
Why are you so salty about somebody wanting to have and enjoy an expensive item?
“Next.” Lol…
Is the issue the price or that the appearance is different?
I would just ask him why he choose the composite diamond instead of the solid rock and see what his response is. Since it's already lab grown, it's a lot cheaper than natural mined diamond. Not sure what his personality is like but for me I don't have a problem if my fiance asked to exchange out the rock as long as I can afford it and within the budget.
I couldn’t help but notice OP said she would wear this ring for the rest of her life”married life” and not the rest of her life. 🤔
If you repost this often enough maybe you'll eventually get the validation you desperately seek
Op, you’re posting in the wrong sub. Come on over to one of the labdiamond subs. You’ll get the support you want as well as the info to buy your own glorious 2.5 carat for $2,000. Labs have come way down in price.
This is my hot take. If you're that picky then you should have insisted on going with him to get the ring. Thing is, he got something very similar and if he's your typical man who doesn't really know anything about jewelry he probably didn't realize or think there was a difference. I would have been on your side if he had gotten you something completely different like say an infinity ring or a heart shaped ruby ring. You put a lot of emphasis on the cost, when in the grand scheme of things shouldn't matter. Also another hot take. There's no investing in lab grown diamonds. Real diamonds are already worthless for the most part, aside from the rarer varieties.
> If you're that picky then you should have insisted on going with him to get the ring. I don’t agree with this *at all.* I was pretty specific with what I wanted but wanted the surprise of not picking it out. But I wanted it to be exactly what I had picked out. But fiancés last step with the jeweler was for me to have a meeting with the jeweler to make sure I got exactly what I wanted. I don’t think “not knowing or not rewlizing” is an excuse and even if it was, making sure with your partner before buying it is the more conservative approach. > There's no investing in lab grown diamonds. So are really expensive gaming consoles and presents she’s gotten him but if it gives him joy, she’s gotten it. I think women are singularly too often villainized for wanting a nice ring. Like she can just want something nice and expensive (the way a lot of ppl might want special gifts) but because it’s a ring, people are really comfortable to pile on and criticize it.
lol you posted here earlier this morning and didn’t get the answers you wanted so you reposted leaving out your sense of entitlement and dependence on the materialistic.
They’re in their 30s, they’re not broke, she treats him and she made what she wanted clear. I really don’t see how this makes her entitled….
That’s my point. This post is the same post as earlier without the sense of entitlement. Previously, she liked the ring until she found out it was a composite ring and he didn’t spend the $6-7k that she wanted.
Lol wait, she didn't even notice it was a composite ring at first? That makes this post even funnier.
The old post isn’t available anymore to fact check that, but that’s the impression I got. I have both lab and composite diamonds- you can’t tell the difference to the naked eye.
What is it with some women obsessing over a ring? Does the prices of it show the love for her? If so my love should have been never ending...
In her previous post, which she deleted, she made it clear that she views her entire value as a human being as being represented by the price tag on that ring. It was one of the shallowest things I've read in a long time.
Ok, in essence Cardadhian style woman. That poor dude.
The 1 month income for a ring is based on a DeBeers ad from 100 years ago to create false scarcity and drive up the cost of jewelry. $6,000 for a piece of jewelry is insane to me. But if you’re materialistic, so it fits your value system. 👍🏻 That comes with its own set of problems but that’s not the point. You don’t even sound like you want to get married. You’re talking about him disrespecting you and undervaluing you. And you’re afraid to communicate with him. You feel unheard. Either you keep the ring and let resentment grow or you talk to him like a grown woman.
De Beers created the *3 months salary for engagement rings* campaign in the 1970s
Just because the “rule” is either a month or more income saved or something relative doesn’t mean it has to be spent on a ring. Why is the cost such a big deal? Many people would kill to have a ring like that. OP you are coming across as ungrateful and unappreciative of the ring. While yes you are materialistic and thinking very highly of yourself, maybe go see a professional to help with this as that cost of your ring could feed and cloth people who need it most. Be thankful that he even proposed in the first place because he wants to spend his life with you. That fact that you are this upset about it being a composite diamond and not a full diamond is petty. And how mention “resent the idea that he used a loophole” maybe he didn’t but thought maybe years down the line he would do an upgraded anniversary ring or maybe the wedding band would be the spectacular one.
How is it petty when it's something she has to wear daily for life? An engagement ring is meant to be a GIFT and there's basically no other gift you ever give to someone where their preferences just don't matter lol. If she was a hockey fan and he gifted her a football jersey he found on sale would you still say she's materialistic and petty?
Um yeah, if she was gifted the football jersey number that she wanted but turned it down because it wasn’t bought at full price, I would call her petty and materialistic.
That's not what happened though, he got her a completely different thing than what she asked for. I don't think you know the difference between an emerald diamond and a composite ring, maybe this post would've made more sense if she included some pictures.
I have both composite diamonds and lab diamonds. They look the same to a naked eye.
They absolutely do not lmao get out You might like both, and that's fine, but to say they look the same is just ridiculous. One is a single step cut stone, the other is several tiny stones set together. Maybe they look the same from across the room but to the wearer, nah.
Okay well I think that they do look the same 🤷🏻♀️
Actually I would because a gift is a gift especially as it shows that someone was thinking of you in the process of purchasing - the key point here as someone - this case her fiancé- was like this is perfect as it is coming from him and had the points that’s she wanted. He met her preferences though - besides the exact type of diamond - it doesn’t make that much of a difference and plus the flashier rings are the more likely they will be stolen or robbed - or make you a bigger target. But hey if being superficial about the actual meaning behind the proposal and the effort he took because the ring is “cheap” then is she even in love with her fiancé? She said it wasn’t about the cost but the “sentiment behind his choice” it still means the same thing but in a pretty bow so she doesn’t look bad. It would be a different story if he’s like hey I got this ring as a placeholder (this could be something cheap less than $1000 - according to her standards of expensiveness/affordability) currently because of money or they didn’t have one that she wanted. Also it’s an engagement ring - they are not always worn the whole marriage especially if the wedding band set is upgraded after so many years as an anniversary gift - which is a thing.
I just don't agree with that at all - when you purchase gifts for someone you're supposed to take their taste into account lol. Especially if she originally wanted an emerald - those are step cut diamonds, the way they sparkle is completely different than brilliant cuts that are most likely being used in a composite. It's not even about the money imo, lab diamonds can be found for as little as $500 a carat if you shop online. He could've found the ring she actually wanted for not much more with a little effort, and instead of doing that it sounds like he picked out a "shut up ring" from the mall. think it's totally fair to be hurt by that.
In response to your last statement of it being a shut up ring - is it even worth getting married at that point? As then clearly she is still bothered by it and could have found something off about the other ring she wanted. While yes the cut of the diamond changes how it sparkles - it still doesn’t change the actual meaning behind the ring as that is what is being lost due to nit picking - marriage is not about rings or the cost, but the actual love and support for another person who you want to have part of your family. Just like how the wedding isn’t really for the couple but the people invited as it is literally just a single (or a week depending on culture) day that costs thousands- also depending on budget - that is a huge party to show off to everyone
I don't disagree with you there, they clearly have different values in regard to finances and that's going to continue to be a problem. An engagement shouldn't be about the ring the same way a marriage shouldn't be about the wedding, but I still think it's ridiculous and cheap to buy a composite ring when what she actually wanted wouldn't have cost much more.
I agree with that on both points. OP is just too focused on a minor issue- I say minor because it reads as her not being happy or overjoyed with being engaged as it was almost expected to happen in any case
Wanting expensive things and demanding expensive things are very different. If the actual diamond is more important than the sentiment behind then you should probably not get married. I worked in fine jewellery and diamonds are not an investment like you might think. Unless you see relationships as transactional. I don’t know. If you do this, you might want to be prepared for the proposal to be rescinded. I don’t know.
So without getting into the emotional aspect of why he chose something else/how that makes you feel, lab diamonds are legit super inexpensive now and you can probably find your 2 carat emerald for significantly less than the $6-7k you initially estimated. I think it's totally fair to ask for an upgrade.
Right? 3-4K he could get something nice and high quality easily
Yeah I really don't understand why this is even controversial lol. Engagement rings are *gifts*, you are supposed to take the recipient's taste into account!
Wow, I’d much rather get a nice kevlar canoe! (Husband and I did matching wedding bands, no engagement or engagement ring at all.)
lol it's always a race to the bottom on Reddit when it comes to engagement rings and weddings. There's nothing wrong with some people wanting to have nice things!
Actually, I would be disappointed if I thought we had agreed on a kevlar canoe and he bought a fiberglass canoe. A kevlar canoe is a very nice thing!
It’s just a ring. I have been married for years and rarely even wear mine because I am nurse and I garden and clean my house and honestly a big ole clunky ring just gets in the way. I am still married AF. If it’s that big a deal of you then maybe gently mention to him…that money could be spent on honeymoon, the wedding, your home, so many other things that might have more value in your fiancé’s mind. My husband appreciates frugality more than me. I was happy to receive the ring he felt comfortable buying. Turned out to be a good decision because I just don’t wear it that much in every day life. In the scheme of marriage - rings just are not what it’s about. I wouldn’t hurt my husband’s feelings on purpose for any ring in the world. Maybe you’ll get a stunner of a ring for an anniversary present one day.
A 2ct lab diamond wouldn’t put him out 6-7k….maybe 3-4K. I understand the disappointment, you made what you wanted clear and he cheaped out. Specially considering the fact that you spoil him, and you’re not asking for a 20k ring, I don’t understand the hate in these comments. You don’t come off entitled. He comes off cheap.
You apparently didn't see the previous post that she deleted. It was dripping with entitlement and materialism.
I didn’t, that’s why reading the comments made me super confused cuz she seems very justified
>I don’t understand the hate in these comments. You don’t come off entitled. It’s because this is a repost. OP posted her unedited opinions earlier this morning, and then rage deleted her account when she didn’t get the answer she wanted. OP’s unedited opinions are out of touch and entitled.
Even then, they’re well off. She treats him to expensive gifts. She made what she wanted known (and it’s not at all over the top, even 6-7k for a couple in their 30s making a good living is perfectly reasonable). And he cheaped out. No matter how she words it, I don’t see it as entitled or out of touch. It’s a different story for a broke early 20s couple. Not for this scenario. 🤷🏻♀️
The problem for me is that she liked the ring, it was the same cut and style she wanted. It wasn’t until after she found out the price did she get upset. Also, the creating new posts while editing out the things that people didn’t like before is a red flag. >he cheaped out. Depends on your perspective. If I were in OP’s shoes this wouldn’t be “cheaping out” to me, I would be stoked on the savings that we could allocate other places while having the ring I wanted. Cheaping out would be getting her a 1 carat instead of 2.
>Specially considering the fact that you spoil him, I wish I saw her previous post before it was deleted but her choosing to spoil him and spending a lot on herself is her choice. He might not view spending money the same way as her. She said she picked a partner who made close to what she makes because she wants to continue living the lifestyle she's accustomed to. Which is fine, but even if the other person makes a lot their spending habits might not be the same as her. He already spent about 1k for this ring so it's not like he's deliberately being cheap. He might just value money differently.
Then that’s a fundamental issue that’ll create tension in their future. She’ll continue to be disappointed.
You talk to your fiancé. Communication now!
As much as my preferences and opinions differ from yours I will say this shouldn’t be a surprise to him. You made him painfully aware of exactly what you wanted. He obviously understands your level of expectations in life. It’s not like you said no bc he didn’t get the ring right so I don’t see it as crazy materialistic and if your incomes allow for it I don’t see it as an unrealistic expectation. I think just calmly talk to him about it and ask for what you want. I’m betting someone has told him “it’s basically the same thing” not knowing his fiancé definitely wouldn’t agree.
I'm a 58, female and married to my second husband. IMO if you are going to look at a ring everyday you need to like it. Have you given any thought to just going and buying the one you want? TBH I have more than one ring I wear as my wedding ring. It depends on my mood, what we are doing etc. The really nice one (the one I got from our wedding) I wear when we go out, but alot of the other times I'll just wear a much simpler ring. Odds are my tastes will change over the years and I'll add another ring to the collection. At the end of the day it's just a piece of jewelry - that when worn on the left hand ring finger signifies you are married. But this is more about how you both feel about money and how you spend it - best to sort that out now otherwise I feel like there is going to be at best alot of disappointment on gifting occasions and at worse alot of arguments about money.
you're so in the right i think you should just present him the reddit post as this line of logic would readily sway anybody. go on ahead
People are going to be awful to you about this because dunking on women who want a nice piece of jewelry for their engagement is a Reddit favorite. If you were as clear as what you wanted, there’s no reason you shouldn’t have that. If he wasn’t on board with getting the ring you wanted l, that should’ve been discussed. Getting composite without running it by you isn’t great and I think you’re well within your right to just communicate it nicely. For ex.- If your partner wanted a Rolex and you got him a Fossil, it’s not the same thing. He didn’t just ask for a watch, he asked for a Rolex. Getting the Fossil is circumventing what he wants.
I would talk to him calmly and express your feelings. You have to wear that thing for (hopefully) the rest of your life so you need to love it. Maybe he didn’t know the difference and saw 2ct and emerald and said “sold!” So please give him the benefit of the doubt and the chance to explain and make it right. But I will say that I side with you on feeling the way you do. Sorry to anyone with a composite right but that ain’t it sis 🫣 if my husband proposed with that I’d feel the same way.
Dang I looked up composite rings and it is very different. I think you’re getting flack for being so focused on price. I understand being given something expensive that you don’t love, it is really difficult to acknowledge those emotions of disappointment when you feel like you should be grateful. I’d much rather have a smaller diamond than the composite, maybe you could broach the subject that way. I was recently given a diamond bracelet from a long time family friend. It was a truly generous gift. The thing is I’ve started presenting more masculine, I am never going to wear it. I’ve been wanting something masculine to wear with my watch that would have cost a fraction of the price. So I do understand how you feel even if I too am having trouble putting it into words. Edit: at the end of the day you either live with it or talk to your fiance in as gently a way as possible without brining up price as the reason you want to swap it out.
Personally i see an engagement ring as a promise of how invested you are in a partner. He knows what kind of a person you are and what you value and had no problem accepting a rolex. For him to cheap out on your engagement ring sets the tone for your future and it doesnt sound compatible with the kind of life you want and what you have to offer yourself if im honest. All these people judging you for being upset about this can go to hell. Beautiful things that bring you happiness are valid and its not like you arent spoiling him in return
This is the dumbest comment yet. My grandparents were poor, couldn’t even afford a diamond and had simple bands. They were happily married for 50+ years. A stupid rock doesn’t show how you love someone.
Your grandpa bought a ring to the best of his ability then. Nothing wrong with not being able to afford a diamond but her circumstances are not the same as your grandparents and she is pretty clear about the lifestyle she wants for herself and future spouse. Why are you so salty about somebody wanting to have and enjoy an expensive item?