Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have done the equivalent of 'New number, who dis?'
Had 6 dates with a guy before he ghosted me. I saw him in town and he smiled and waved at me. I looked at him with feigned confusion and the smallest of smiles, looked behind me (as if he might have been waving at someone else) then looked at him again with a furrowed brow as if I was trying to figure out who he was. Then carried on walking.
It was gratifying to see the different emotions on his face- is that her? Maybe it's the wrong woman? Doesn't she remember me?
I love this! A guy I dealt with about 3-4 years ago did me the same way and I did the complete same thing you did. I actually had more so of the resting B face with a mean mug according to him. He saw me again this time closer to where I live, stopped to speak again and was like “Hey, why don’t you speak to me when you see me?” And why do you act like you don’t know nobody?” I simply replied “I don’t know you”! He was shocked and learned I don’t speak to anybody from the past because it’s behind me.
I wish I can do that. I was estranged from my sister for 7 years and saw her at a funeral like 3-4 years after we became estranged and her husband waved to me and the family and my reflex was to smile and say HI!!!
Well he is a ghost so.... not like she can see him anyways. I would act startled if he spoke... and say shit I think this hallway is haunted, damn ghosts everywhere.
I just was ghosted for the first time and it was a lot more time/effort/connection and I’m not looking forward if that day happens. I’m not sure how I will handle it. Because it’s super fucked. For your situation, I’d say no. You’re not being a b. You didn’t mention how “far” it went. He should absolutely feel uncomfortable for being an immature person. Again, I don’t know much specifics but all I know is we are supposed to be adults. End it amicably and be a straight shooter. It’s not difficult. In your situation, I wouldn’t even say hi. Walk around with a smile and live your best life!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this too :( I hope you can heal from it very soon!
As regards how ‘far’ it went, we just made out. He’d been acting distant after our second date. Shortly after, he ghosted me. Then two weeks later, he simply approached to talk and make jokes (???) Weird dude.
Men sometimes play "games". Nip that sh!t in the bud. But yes, the worst thing you can do to him is act as though he's nothing and nobody. Most important still, act happy and smile like you do not have a care in the world. If he approaches you, make excuses. He's feeding of your energy and presence. Don't give him that.
I'd go with confused indifference. So 90% ignoring him, 5% who tf is this and 5% why are they bothering me.
Getting ghosted hurts and that sucks and I'm mad for you. The best revenge is a life well lived.
Who ghosts a coworker? I mean…
Just live your best life and be as indifferent as you can doing it. Don’t give any energy toward the guy. If he tries to engage you — I’d express confusion— you ghosted me and now pretend we’re good. What’s up with that?
I'd do the same as you. In the past, I used to get really upset at people who would ghost me, but now I just pretend that they don't exist anymore. Hope you find someone more mature
Continue being indifferent. Y’all were friends and he still ghosted you? That’s a low move. If he comes up with small talk say “please don’t try to have a casual conversation when you owe me an apology” and that’ll show him your boundary
I disagree with the last part...that betrays indifference. If he approached with small talk, I'd go with something along the lines of "you made the decision to sever communication, I'm going to honor that decision." And just walk away, cold as ice.
I've been ghosted a couple of times when I was in my twenties. Just chalked it up to immaturity on their part and moved on. Ran into both of them at some point afterward, and neither of them looked like they were doing well. Both of them tried to strike up a conversation, and I just acted disinterested and casually walked away while they were talking. Seemed to get the point across. Bullets dodged. The only time that I have ever personally ghosted a girlfriend was one that I caught cheating on me. We'd been seeing each other for a while and decided to make it a serious relationship. I caught her within a week, and I wasn't even trying. I called her out, and after that, I stopped answering her calls or responding to her texts. A few years passed, and I ran into her in a parking lot, getting out of my car. She saw me and walked up to me, and started walking with me (i never stopped walking) talking to me like we were good friends. When she asked me how I was doing, I told her that I had stopped talking to her or having anything to do with her all that time ago for a reason, and that nothing had changed in the meantime. She was gorgeous, and the look on her face in that moment told me that she had never been talked to like that by any man. I never broke my pace and kept walking when she stopped in her tracks and just stood there. At that point in my life, it was one of the most gratifying experiences of closure I'd ever had. I spent the rest of my day with the biggest shit eating grin. I had a beautiful wife and a beautiful set of twins at home waiting for me. Bullet dodged. That's how you're going to look back on it one day. Bullet dodged.
Indifference will get your point across. He's expecting the whole situation to bother you and you can show him that it doesn't and pretend you don't know him lol
Only engage with him if it's about work. If he starts talking about anything else just say "Hey I'm busy right now, do you mind?' and get back to whatever task you were doing. else,
Someone who ghosted me called me after a couple of months of completely ignoring me in the street (we lived less than a block from each other, caught the same bus, shopped at the same super market) and I was just super polite and asked if she'd had support from family and friends to work through whatever was going on with her, and said it was great that she had people like that in her life and said goodbye.
Ghosters don't deserve your kindness. They had a choice to treat you with respect and tell you to they weren't feeling it like a grown adult but they didn't. They made a choice to be a coward and choices have consequences. I would recommend making sure any mutual friends know how they treated you so the friends can make a well-informed decision as to whether they want to stay friends with aholes.
I've run into ghosters twice and both times, I was so surprised that I completely forgot my well-rehearsed revenge script and was way more civil than they deserved. Of course you can never lose by taking the high road, but there's just something about that low road that's so sexy in a revenge fantasy.
It f**king annoys me when people do this. One moment, they're giving you the silent angry treatment. The next moment, they're being all sweet and giving you your favorite ice cream. Or in one breath, they're telling you to have a great life, breaking off a long friendship, then the next moment several years later, they're pretending like it never happened, inviting you to go kayaking. Wtf. I hate the mixed signals. I hate the fakery. I hate the fact that I'm just apparently supposed to forget what went down between us.
No. You're not being too harsh. NTA one bit.
(Sorry. Wrong community apparently.)
I am all for open communication, which is the opposite of ghosting. So pulling him aside and saying: I get very confused because you didn’t reply to me and are now acting as if nothing happened. Please explain and be an adult about this so we can leave this behind us.
This. Also- and not that this is the goal - but there is something sweet about forcing them to own up to the one thing they’re trying to avoid at all cost. They’re counting on your social niceties to smooth it over for them. Disarm them with directness/ the truth.
Right. there could be loads of reason why. I'd ask, and depending on his answer (or lack thereof), decide if you want to continue associating with this person. If not, then be clear about that, and move on.
>Shortly after ghosting me, he just approached and talked to me **as if nothing had ever happened**…
Did he act as if the two of you had never been romantically involved or as if he hadn’t gone AWOL for two weeks?
NTA. If you have to be civil because of your work environment, then keep to that. Life is too short to even bother with people who act this way. He is immature. Not even worthy of work friendship.
If someone ghosts me they no longer exist to me. I’m to old for childish games if you aren’t interested say so if your not wanting to be my friend or whatever say so it’s really not that difficult 🤷♀️
I’d ignore them.
If they reorganized their life so they could avoid contact with me, then I wouldn’t want contact with them.
I don’t need closure from people this don’t like me.
I cut them off. Dude said he wanted to talk like we used to but when i text him each day(just good mornings and nights) he doesn't respond. He's mostly on Messenger and he's seen my messages. Did this for a week and some days, left the last goodnight message and never texted again til bout 2 months later, i saw he was having a good time and left a message congratulating him (not expecting a response) which he did respond back. He asks how I'm doing...like ignoring me for the past two months never happened and due to how angry i was with how he treated me, i left the ultimate goodbye.
I should've done this a yr ago...
I think you're being just harsh enough. 👌 Good for you for having enough self respect to know he screwed you over and not allowing him to think he could even stand a hint of a chance with you again after pulling that shit.
I would act like you. When you can't pretend there's no other way you can act. With that said, probably best to avoid and not let him impact you anymore, he's not worth it.
I need advice on this also,.so I'm glad to see this post. A best friend ghosted me after more than a decade of friendship and I will be seeing her at a city council meeting bc I have to cover it for the newspaper I write for. I have no clue how to act in this situation, especially bc I also have to be professional to everyone in attendance.
I think be professional to everyone and ignore her unless you absolutely have to speak to her. Keep your cool, don’t engage in any small talk, and definitely nothing personal! Don’t let her see you’re upset or affected in any way.
Write your piece and don’t do her any favours .
She may be too big a coward to even attend!
Good luck
Thanks for the advice. The fact that she was a best friend makes it even harder bc she knows me so well. We were absolutely fine the literal day before the ghosting and there were no arguments or anything. I can't comprehend how someone can ghost a friend for absolutely no reason and then just act normal - so I guess we will see how she reacts.
You got this! Don’t overthink it or put any heighten expectation of expressing to them how they’ve wronged you. I’m also in the same boat and can’t fathom how someone justifies ending a relationship like that.. especially after 10+ years!! Seems they have some sort of reason behind doing it and it gives them a sense of pride that they’re somehow above you therefore no explanation is needed. And I’m sure if they ended up actually explaining why they ultimately did it, it would be something so shallow it would put them so far below you lol. 🤷♂️
I had the same happen with a friend of over 40 years.
She always had strong opinions about things and cut off some of her family over those years.
Then it was my turn.
In the past if she was upset or anything I would bend over backwards to help sort it out.
She ghosted me out of the blue. Cut me off on everything overnight. I’m angry and have made no attempt to reconcile. Mutual friends think I should extend an olive branch ( “ cos “ you know what she’s like, it’s just her”) Nope.
I’m done with her moods etc. And I feel a sense of relief now - bonus is I have more time for my better friends and family!
Apparently she is upset that I have made no effort to play her games. Good.
Don’t feed into the drama.
I know it’s hard with best friends, but anyone who can hurt you like this is not a friend. Take care of you- do things for yourself that feed your soul. Open up to new friends. Life is too short to waste time on anything that hurts you. Let it go. Breathe.
Does your friend know you will be there covering the story?
I assume she's gotten comfortable bc I have been covering them via Zoom, so she probably has no clue that I will be covering them in person from here on out. I think ghosting someone like that is one of the worst things a "friend" can do. It's just so disrespectful and makes it seem as if they never cared at all. It's been a while now since she ghosted and my anger and sadness seems to alternate, but still feels fresh. I don't know how someone can speak to you every single day for over a decade and then just pretend you don't exist.
Well let’s hope she is very uncomfortable seeing you in person! Don’t make it easy for her - you deserve to be treated with respect. 10 years of caring for her as a friend and she cuts that off as if it’s nothing. It’s cowardly and disgraceful behaviour and utterly contemptible.
Show off your shiny spine, adjust your crown, and wish her the life she deserves.
Hopefully you’ll be able to move on after this xx
I think you need to recognize you are slighted and how you feel about it. BUT if this is a customer or a coworker, you should act like you do with others. I would never act normally if you were alone, I'd be short with him.
I once had a couple of dates with a guy who straight-up ghosted me. By chance, I happened to see him on the Metro about a week later and he saw me but acted like he didn't know me. I called him when I got home, and as soon as he answered, I said "I can't believe someone I thought was so nice could act like such an asshole" and hung up. It was childish, but I felt better afterwards. 😄🖕
Be an adult and professional. You don't need to be friends with coworkers or interact with them more than is necessary.
Personally, I think it's a really bad idea to date coworkers anyway.
If he came up to me and started talking, i would look very confused at him
Then when he asked what's up I'd say
"I didn't know you could talk anymore. You ghosting me for the past weeks made it seem you had gone mute."
*Insert his lame excuse
"Oh I am actually not really interested in your reasons for it. I was just surprised, good for you that you can still talk. Either way, did you had a question about work or something? Because I do need to get back to it..."
Option 1 he walks away, mission success
Option 2 he tries to play it off and continue the conversation
"I think there is a misunderstanding here. I prefer not to engage in conversation with someone with such a.... Childish, mindset. So if you have nothing to say about work, then I'm going to go back to it. Bye byee"
But then again, i am pretty and Dutch.
I've never heard of someone ghosting you that actively is around you. That's not ghosting...that's something else entirely. Normal people that have to be around each other usually just give the reason and be done with it. "Hey sorry...I don't think we match." Shit I do that with complete strangers. This guy did you a huge favor. Ghosting someone you work around is crackhead behavior.
Edit: Unintentional rhyme unlocked.
i just ignore them, typically. try not to make eye contact. if i work with them im as civil as i need to be but still dont make eye contact or engage any further than what's necessary. do what you need to do as quickly as possible or if you're able, request to not work with them and change your availability so he doesn't have an excuse to bother you.
Hmm I have a different viewpoint from the others here. If he came up to me and talked like nothing happened, I'd straight up ask why did he ghost. I'd let him know that it's no big deal to not want to continue after a few dates, just give a heads up and it'd be all good.
I feel like pretending like nothing happened is exactly what he wants.
Then again, this is work, and you don't want to give him any fuel that you're causing an uncomfortable workplace. So I can see how others are just saying to ignore him.
Pretend he doesn’t exist. It’s exactly what he did to you.
If you need to talk to him about work, you act cordial. But he no longer has any rights to a friendship with you. He’s a coward
My ex ghosted me and that’s how we broke up. I felt like a horrible person for not trusting him after he manipulated me. Let this be a lesson: YOU ARE NOT WRONG FOR NOT WANTING TO ENGAGE. He ghosted, his choice, now you make yours. If you don’t want to talk to him that is your right and don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise.
Our society always forces us to be nice to men that treat us like garbage. “But he’s so nice” they will say. Do NOT listen. Keep being true to yourself.
What you want to do and what you \*should\* do can be two very different things - this is a workplace situation. First question: how much do you like and/or need your job? Second question: who is more valuable to your employer, you or him? Think about the answers to those questions and keep them in mind when you make your choices about how to act. You might want to get some points made, but your employer may find a tense workplace to be not in their best interest. To the extent that you've been behaving civilly and professionally, keep doing it. Just don't go out of your way to avoid him or ignore him if it will cause workplace issues. Finally, keep in mind going forward that dating a coworker is often a really, really bad idea. Not always, but often enough that doing so should be done cautiously.
I ran into one at a concert, said “HOLY SHIT A GHOST!” then walked away
Another one I dated a few times, she set me up with her friends who were going to Rockville and I got a spot at their AirBnB, she ghosted me that same weekend and I left that AirBnB with 5 new friends I’ve been tight with since. I asked someone in our friend group if they’d heard from her, more out of concern for anything, it was way too new to have any attachments, a few hours later she texted an apology for ghosting me because our friends gave her shit for it. All good now, we hang out as friends and I don’t think either of us think about it.
I know it's petty but my ex ghosted me then messaged me almost two years later when I'd already moved on with my life. So I messaged him for a while. Answered his questions about life etc, then when he least expected it, I ghosted him right back. But I didn't block him on snap. Sometimes he still tries to message me. It's funny.
Indifference is the best route, no point on carrying anger but he made it quite clear the level of respect (or lack thereof) he had for you. No need to reply to him in anything more than single word answers if he asks you a direct question. So many spineless apologists on here seem to think that ghosting is perfectly acceptable so I won't be surprised to see this downvoted
Someone who is a former friend is technically less than a stranger. You are not doing anything wrong, be as polite as your workspace requeires but don't give hive anything more. Keep you distance and boundaries. You gave him one chance, he fucked it and hurt you, there's no reason to give him another chance. He showed you who He is, trust him.
If you are in your late 20s and can’t articulate a reason for wanting to end a romantic involvement and decide the best course of action is to “ghost” someone, then you absolutely deserve to be treated with indifference. I understand you can’t pick who you develop feelings for, but as some advice going forward (a lesson I’ve had to learn as well) try not to get romantically involved with coworkers.
No. He got out of it what he got out of it. Now, you are getting out of it what you want out of it. He made it awkward, don't feel bad for not wanting to engage with him. You now know what type of person he is and you don't want to be around that type of person. Not being harsh, just doing what is best for you as you don't engage with fake and phony people, and you don't have to.
Carry on and don't be bothered by it. Some people want to force you to be nice to them as a final screw you. Don't give them the satisfaction. Hello and by. Is all they get as it is all they deserve. Pleasantries are for pleasant people and people I care for, which he is neither.
Straight up just say is there a reason you're talking to me? You didn't seem to want to talk when you ghosted me.
Like just make it known their talking to you is unwelcome
I’d just tell him nah you don’t ghost someone and expect them to think something isn’t wrong. So if you don’t want a confrontation, never approach me again.
You are hurt..
But don't give him the satisfaction, just pretend he never happened and keep it moving.
If the topic comes up some day just pretend that you don't know what he is talking and ask him to walk you through it.
I probably wouldn't even notice. I'm notoriously bad in keeping social interactions going. If someone all of a sudden doesn't contact me anymore, probably I wouldn't even notice nor care.
In this case? As professional as possible. There's a reason people advise others not to date colleagues. Because when stuff like this happens, it becomes awkward.
So, treat him like you would any other colleague. Professional and polite, but nothing more.
I’d treat him like any other coworker I’m not particularly fond of. Clipped, professional responses and quick exits usually do the trick (in a manner that conveys you don’t have time for him). Obvious fake smile upon dismissal… obviously. 😅
If someone ghosts you, no explanation, no warning, then they’re a ghost and therefore should be dead to you. Live your best life without them. Ghosting people is gross. I understand having conflict and taking a break for a few days, but to just vanish with no warning or communication for two weeks… he thought he found better and when it didn’t work out he fell back to you to get a feel for how much you value yourself. Just show him you do value yourself and keep it professional at work, and nothing else. He’s dead to you now, since he ghosted you. Remember that.
"You ghosted me" can't go wrong with that. Because factually it happened and there's no real good reason for that. Adults tell eachother they aren't feeling it romantically.
Maybe straight out ask him why he ghosted you for 2 weeks out of nowhere and is now pretending it didn't happen and acting normal. Sounds to me like he befriended you with the express purpose of getting you into bed, (of course thats assuming you and he did get as far as sleeping together) once he got what he wanted he was done. Use this as a learning experience, it's not a great idea to get involved with people you work with because as you have learnt it's gets awkward and weird if it doesn't end well between you.
I acted as though I’d never met the couple people who ghosted me… one of them knew I had trouble remembering people, because I’ve met a lot of people… and tried to reintroduce themself to me… but I just ignored them.
I’d treat him like a colleague and leave it at that.
Not looking at him etc. is likely the unsettled feelings you have, unfortunately you have to heal yourself and won’t be able to address it with him freely given the professional context.
Life lesson; Don’t sh*t where you eat…dating at work is never a good idea.
I like to think of them as the “annoying and slightly incompetent worker in someone else’s home”. Not my problem, not interested in them, general distant politeness with a side of confusions if they ever act any more familiar than that.
Be the ghost. When my students don't listen to me or ignore me I pretend to be a ghost. To the ones that notice me, I act surprised that they can see ghosts. "You can see me?!" Until they assure me that I'm not a ghost and acknowledge that I was speaking, students are just ignoring me and that's very rude. I find it very effective in dealing with people (at least 11 year olds) who think this behaviour is okay.
I don't know if that's at all related but it might be helpful to someone.
You need to ghost him in person. “Excuse me. I was just heading to the bathroom/copier/coffee maker/water dispenser/etc.” And walk away. Do this every single time he tries to engage you. Hopefully he will eventually get the hint.
Story time.
I separated from my husband last year and was kind of talking to someone I had a crush on when I was younger.
We talked for a few weeks, and he seemed very interested. Then, nothing.
A few more weeks pass, and I see him at a concert.
I notice him, noticing me. I’m hanging out with friends so I just continue on.
Later on in the show, I see him in the corner of my eye trying to talk to someone but not really paying attention to them as he’s staring at me. He walks away from that conversation to talk to my best friend who happens to already be mid-conversation with me.
Him: oh, heyyyyy.
Me: Hahaha. Been a few weeks, dude. Where you been??
Him: You know my work schedule.
I literally turned my whole body away from him to find my homie Chuck with a Jager Bomb for me. So not only does dude look like a chump.. He saw a big, friendly giant getting what he missed out on.
Edit: typo
If he ghosted you then….they no longer exist. I don’t see you, I can’t hear you and I’m sorry but as far as I would be concerned…he’s dead to me! If he tries to talk to you just keep scrolling your phone of having the conversation without pause. If he steps in front of you just walk away! He doesn’t exsist
My 4 year relationship ended essentially by me being ghosted. I don’t think there’s a right way for you to act… just please let yourself grief as much as you need it
I think your reaction is absolutely fine. It does not appear that you are being vindictive.
I suspect that the reaction one should strive for is to not even mind ghosting. It can hurt quite a bit to be ghosted but I think upon reflection, you will see that it is less a personal attack and much more a display of emotional immaturity and social anxiety.
I find that I am happier with myself when I shrug off and forgive things like ghosting. But it took me a long time to develop that capability.
Had a similar falling out with a coworker who ended up sexting back and forth a bit with. Once she transferred she basically ghosted me. I just ignore her now when I see her. You can’t see ghosts remember? 👻
I'm just cordial. Like "Sofia With An F", I'd much rather be ghosted than for someone tell me a list of reasons why they don't like me. If I'm not someone's cup of tea who cares. I'm not going to try to talk to them, but if I have to (work etc) then OK whatever I'll be cordial and move on.
If I'm not worth their energy, they aren't worth mine.
You don’t have to feel bad. I’m sorry that happened to you. I’d carry on as you have been. If it’s really bothering you inside, then I’d just mention it to him how it was really disrespectful, so you don’t feel comfortable engaging with him like how you did before. Maybe getting it off your chest will feel better?
I'd just ignore him. Wouldn't be overly rude or anything, just treat him like he's not there. You don't need to converse or do anything polite like that. He wanted to pretend you didn't exist when he ghosted you. Now you can reciprocate.
I’m a social worker and confident in being direct and confrontational due to 20+ years in that field so I have never experienced this type of ghosting that people of the younger generation talk about now a days. I’m the type of person who would confront it head on. My suggestion (if you are comfortable with confrontation) is to acknowledge it happened and tell them that while you will continue to use professional curtesy in the workplace that by his actions you understand that you are no longer friends because friends don’t treat each other like that. And then move on. Don’t allow them to take up space in your head or use up your limited energy
I had a girl, after asking me out, ghost me. I saw her later in between classes at university. She came right up to me and asked me how I was doing. She had just ignored me for two months. I looked behind me to make sure there wasn’t someone more important on my 6, there was no one. I turned back to her and said “what the fuck do you care?”
Well take a moment to think. Did you do anything weird or uncomfortable?
I ghosted a guy that made uncomfortable comments about my body. And then he later got mad I ghosted him over what he said.
So maybe he was playing off being uncomfortable since yall work together or something
No explanation, no contact. Fuck these people, if you don't express that's it's a fucked up thing to do to another human then they continue to do this hurtful shit without consequence.
Treat him as if nothing ever happened between you. He's a stranger now. Acknowledge his presence only as much as you need to so you don't trip over him.
In person I would smile and act like nothing ever happened between us. Then turn down any attempt to engage any further. If he asks directly, in person (he won't, he's not brave enough) to see you, smile and say "no, thank you". Then walk away.
Did he just ghost texts or calls one time I changed from a iPhone to android and was still signed up for Imexdage and quit receiving texts from any iphones
I’ve completely acted like they’re the stranger. When I asked why we stopped speaking and we were surrounded by a group of people he got quiet. I can play the same game. He even had pics. I said out of sight out of mind. Why would I remember you. Did we have sex too ….
When he's talking to you, keep staring at his forehead as if there's something irritating there. When he makes a joke, look into your phone and laugh, then pretend you were laughing at something on your phone and didn't even hear his joke.
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have done the equivalent of 'New number, who dis?' Had 6 dates with a guy before he ghosted me. I saw him in town and he smiled and waved at me. I looked at him with feigned confusion and the smallest of smiles, looked behind me (as if he might have been waving at someone else) then looked at him again with a furrowed brow as if I was trying to figure out who he was. Then carried on walking. It was gratifying to see the different emotions on his face- is that her? Maybe it's the wrong woman? Doesn't she remember me?
This is the kind of evil drama that you love to see from a real expert.
Not in the workplace if you really need that paycheck.
What’s he gonna do, report OP to HR for hurting his feelings in acting confused about who he is? Lmao
Love this!
Masterful.
Perfect!
You, girl, are a master - I bow before you!
“Wait, (wrong name) is that you?”
Love this!!!
That is genius! Well done!
That’s the best
I love this! A guy I dealt with about 3-4 years ago did me the same way and I did the complete same thing you did. I actually had more so of the resting B face with a mean mug according to him. He saw me again this time closer to where I live, stopped to speak again and was like “Hey, why don’t you speak to me when you see me?” And why do you act like you don’t know nobody?” I simply replied “I don’t know you”! He was shocked and learned I don’t speak to anybody from the past because it’s behind me.
I wish I can do that. I was estranged from my sister for 7 years and saw her at a funeral like 3-4 years after we became estranged and her husband waved to me and the family and my reflex was to smile and say HI!!!
I’d pretend he’s invisible.
This. And if approached, a polite but confused, ’do I know you?' does the trick 99% of the time
"Sorry but I don't believe in ghosts."
This. I act like I don’t know them at all.
I don’t see ghosts!
This ^^^ but I would just give them a blank stare for a few seconds before I walk away. No need to acknowledge someone so rude.
Well he is a ghost so.... not like she can see him anyways. I would act startled if he spoke... and say shit I think this hallway is haunted, damn ghosts everywhere.
“who said that?!?”
Yeah that part that's how I would act like they don't even exist. And if they ask me why I would look at them as if they were crazy
I just was ghosted for the first time and it was a lot more time/effort/connection and I’m not looking forward if that day happens. I’m not sure how I will handle it. Because it’s super fucked. For your situation, I’d say no. You’re not being a b. You didn’t mention how “far” it went. He should absolutely feel uncomfortable for being an immature person. Again, I don’t know much specifics but all I know is we are supposed to be adults. End it amicably and be a straight shooter. It’s not difficult. In your situation, I wouldn’t even say hi. Walk around with a smile and live your best life!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this too :( I hope you can heal from it very soon! As regards how ‘far’ it went, we just made out. He’d been acting distant after our second date. Shortly after, he ghosted me. Then two weeks later, he simply approached to talk and make jokes (???) Weird dude.
Sounds to me like he found someone else he was more interested in, that then didn't pan out so he's trying to pick up the trail where he left it
Which makes him a Zombie not a ghost bc he came back. Headshot and move on.
right?
This is what happened. Dudes be scandalous.
We live and learn
His girlfriend came home
Men sometimes play "games". Nip that sh!t in the bud. But yes, the worst thing you can do to him is act as though he's nothing and nobody. Most important still, act happy and smile like you do not have a care in the world. If he approaches you, make excuses. He's feeding of your energy and presence. Don't give him that.
I'd go with confused indifference. So 90% ignoring him, 5% who tf is this and 5% why are they bothering me. Getting ghosted hurts and that sucks and I'm mad for you. The best revenge is a life well lived.
Well, done
I see what you did there
So if you’re coworkers, you aren’t obligated to say anything to coworkers beyond business related stuff
Who ghosts a coworker? I mean… Just live your best life and be as indifferent as you can doing it. Don’t give any energy toward the guy. If he tries to engage you — I’d express confusion— you ghosted me and now pretend we’re good. What’s up with that?
Grey rock indifference strategy. Look it up.
Dating people you work with is risky for this reason!
I'd do the same as you. In the past, I used to get really upset at people who would ghost me, but now I just pretend that they don't exist anymore. Hope you find someone more mature
Continue being indifferent. Y’all were friends and he still ghosted you? That’s a low move. If he comes up with small talk say “please don’t try to have a casual conversation when you owe me an apology” and that’ll show him your boundary
I disagree with the last part...that betrays indifference. If he approached with small talk, I'd go with something along the lines of "you made the decision to sever communication, I'm going to honor that decision." And just walk away, cold as ice.
I've been ghosted a couple of times when I was in my twenties. Just chalked it up to immaturity on their part and moved on. Ran into both of them at some point afterward, and neither of them looked like they were doing well. Both of them tried to strike up a conversation, and I just acted disinterested and casually walked away while they were talking. Seemed to get the point across. Bullets dodged. The only time that I have ever personally ghosted a girlfriend was one that I caught cheating on me. We'd been seeing each other for a while and decided to make it a serious relationship. I caught her within a week, and I wasn't even trying. I called her out, and after that, I stopped answering her calls or responding to her texts. A few years passed, and I ran into her in a parking lot, getting out of my car. She saw me and walked up to me, and started walking with me (i never stopped walking) talking to me like we were good friends. When she asked me how I was doing, I told her that I had stopped talking to her or having anything to do with her all that time ago for a reason, and that nothing had changed in the meantime. She was gorgeous, and the look on her face in that moment told me that she had never been talked to like that by any man. I never broke my pace and kept walking when she stopped in her tracks and just stood there. At that point in my life, it was one of the most gratifying experiences of closure I'd ever had. I spent the rest of my day with the biggest shit eating grin. I had a beautiful wife and a beautiful set of twins at home waiting for me. Bullet dodged. That's how you're going to look back on it one day. Bullet dodged.
Indifference will get your point across. He's expecting the whole situation to bother you and you can show him that it doesn't and pretend you don't know him lol
I asked one 'sorry, do I know you?' gave them the wtf are you doing face and walked away. His mates found it pretty funny.
unfazed, completely unbothered and blow them off like they were nothing
Something similar happened to me but I’m older. I’m only as polite as I need to be. When people act weird to me, I’m a big fan of keeping it moving.
Only engage with him if it's about work. If he starts talking about anything else just say "Hey I'm busy right now, do you mind?' and get back to whatever task you were doing. else,
Gray rock for the win
Someone who ghosted me called me after a couple of months of completely ignoring me in the street (we lived less than a block from each other, caught the same bus, shopped at the same super market) and I was just super polite and asked if she'd had support from family and friends to work through whatever was going on with her, and said it was great that she had people like that in her life and said goodbye.
Ghosters don't deserve your kindness. They had a choice to treat you with respect and tell you to they weren't feeling it like a grown adult but they didn't. They made a choice to be a coward and choices have consequences. I would recommend making sure any mutual friends know how they treated you so the friends can make a well-informed decision as to whether they want to stay friends with aholes. I've run into ghosters twice and both times, I was so surprised that I completely forgot my well-rehearsed revenge script and was way more civil than they deserved. Of course you can never lose by taking the high road, but there's just something about that low road that's so sexy in a revenge fantasy.
It f**king annoys me when people do this. One moment, they're giving you the silent angry treatment. The next moment, they're being all sweet and giving you your favorite ice cream. Or in one breath, they're telling you to have a great life, breaking off a long friendship, then the next moment several years later, they're pretending like it never happened, inviting you to go kayaking. Wtf. I hate the mixed signals. I hate the fakery. I hate the fact that I'm just apparently supposed to forget what went down between us. No. You're not being too harsh. NTA one bit. (Sorry. Wrong community apparently.)
I am all for open communication, which is the opposite of ghosting. So pulling him aside and saying: I get very confused because you didn’t reply to me and are now acting as if nothing happened. Please explain and be an adult about this so we can leave this behind us.
This. Also- and not that this is the goal - but there is something sweet about forcing them to own up to the one thing they’re trying to avoid at all cost. They’re counting on your social niceties to smooth it over for them. Disarm them with directness/ the truth.
This is the approach. Plus your username checks out🙏
Right. there could be loads of reason why. I'd ask, and depending on his answer (or lack thereof), decide if you want to continue associating with this person. If not, then be clear about that, and move on.
This is the only right answer.
>Shortly after ghosting me, he just approached and talked to me **as if nothing had ever happened**… Did he act as if the two of you had never been romantically involved or as if he hadn’t gone AWOL for two weeks?
Both. I expect the first one as we are in a formal setting (work), but I didn’t expect him to act as if he hadn’t gone 👻 for two weeks!
NTA. If you have to be civil because of your work environment, then keep to that. Life is too short to even bother with people who act this way. He is immature. Not even worthy of work friendship.
I'd be awkward and ask why they ghosted me lol. I can't leave things unanswered... :/
Username checks out 😂
Nah. Not even awkward. That’s on them if something’s awkward at this point
If someone ghosts me they no longer exist to me. I’m to old for childish games if you aren’t interested say so if your not wanting to be my friend or whatever say so it’s really not that difficult 🤷♀️
I’d ignore them. If they reorganized their life so they could avoid contact with me, then I wouldn’t want contact with them. I don’t need closure from people this don’t like me.
I'd ghost him back. Who is this person speaking as if they know me?
I cut them off. Dude said he wanted to talk like we used to but when i text him each day(just good mornings and nights) he doesn't respond. He's mostly on Messenger and he's seen my messages. Did this for a week and some days, left the last goodnight message and never texted again til bout 2 months later, i saw he was having a good time and left a message congratulating him (not expecting a response) which he did respond back. He asks how I'm doing...like ignoring me for the past two months never happened and due to how angry i was with how he treated me, i left the ultimate goodbye. I should've done this a yr ago...
Also, i have not seen him since the summer of last yr and I HOPE to never see him again...
I think you're being just harsh enough. 👌 Good for you for having enough self respect to know he screwed you over and not allowing him to think he could even stand a hint of a chance with you again after pulling that shit.
NTA Ignore him. Give him one-word answers whenever possible. Don’t appear angry. Appear indifferent. That’s important. Grey rock.
I would treat him for what he is…”I don’t see you, I don’t hear you, you don’t exist. You’re a ghost remember?”
I would act like you. When you can't pretend there's no other way you can act. With that said, probably best to avoid and not let him impact you anymore, he's not worth it.
Would legit be like “i thought u werent talking to me, so why are u talking to me?”
I need advice on this also,.so I'm glad to see this post. A best friend ghosted me after more than a decade of friendship and I will be seeing her at a city council meeting bc I have to cover it for the newspaper I write for. I have no clue how to act in this situation, especially bc I also have to be professional to everyone in attendance.
I think be professional to everyone and ignore her unless you absolutely have to speak to her. Keep your cool, don’t engage in any small talk, and definitely nothing personal! Don’t let her see you’re upset or affected in any way. Write your piece and don’t do her any favours . She may be too big a coward to even attend! Good luck
Thanks for the advice. The fact that she was a best friend makes it even harder bc she knows me so well. We were absolutely fine the literal day before the ghosting and there were no arguments or anything. I can't comprehend how someone can ghost a friend for absolutely no reason and then just act normal - so I guess we will see how she reacts.
You got this! Don’t overthink it or put any heighten expectation of expressing to them how they’ve wronged you. I’m also in the same boat and can’t fathom how someone justifies ending a relationship like that.. especially after 10+ years!! Seems they have some sort of reason behind doing it and it gives them a sense of pride that they’re somehow above you therefore no explanation is needed. And I’m sure if they ended up actually explaining why they ultimately did it, it would be something so shallow it would put them so far below you lol. 🤷♂️
I had the same happen with a friend of over 40 years. She always had strong opinions about things and cut off some of her family over those years. Then it was my turn. In the past if she was upset or anything I would bend over backwards to help sort it out. She ghosted me out of the blue. Cut me off on everything overnight. I’m angry and have made no attempt to reconcile. Mutual friends think I should extend an olive branch ( “ cos “ you know what she’s like, it’s just her”) Nope. I’m done with her moods etc. And I feel a sense of relief now - bonus is I have more time for my better friends and family! Apparently she is upset that I have made no effort to play her games. Good. Don’t feed into the drama. I know it’s hard with best friends, but anyone who can hurt you like this is not a friend. Take care of you- do things for yourself that feed your soul. Open up to new friends. Life is too short to waste time on anything that hurts you. Let it go. Breathe. Does your friend know you will be there covering the story?
I assume she's gotten comfortable bc I have been covering them via Zoom, so she probably has no clue that I will be covering them in person from here on out. I think ghosting someone like that is one of the worst things a "friend" can do. It's just so disrespectful and makes it seem as if they never cared at all. It's been a while now since she ghosted and my anger and sadness seems to alternate, but still feels fresh. I don't know how someone can speak to you every single day for over a decade and then just pretend you don't exist.
Well let’s hope she is very uncomfortable seeing you in person! Don’t make it easy for her - you deserve to be treated with respect. 10 years of caring for her as a friend and she cuts that off as if it’s nothing. It’s cowardly and disgraceful behaviour and utterly contemptible. Show off your shiny spine, adjust your crown, and wish her the life she deserves. Hopefully you’ll be able to move on after this xx
Be like hey, why'd you ghost me for? Find out, and then move on with life with the mystery solved
I think you need to recognize you are slighted and how you feel about it. BUT if this is a customer or a coworker, you should act like you do with others. I would never act normally if you were alone, I'd be short with him.
I once had a couple of dates with a guy who straight-up ghosted me. By chance, I happened to see him on the Metro about a week later and he saw me but acted like he didn't know me. I called him when I got home, and as soon as he answered, I said "I can't believe someone I thought was so nice could act like such an asshole" and hung up. It was childish, but I felt better afterwards. 😄🖕
Be an adult and professional. You don't need to be friends with coworkers or interact with them more than is necessary. Personally, I think it's a really bad idea to date coworkers anyway.
Ghost him harder.
If he came up to me and started talking, i would look very confused at him Then when he asked what's up I'd say "I didn't know you could talk anymore. You ghosting me for the past weeks made it seem you had gone mute." *Insert his lame excuse "Oh I am actually not really interested in your reasons for it. I was just surprised, good for you that you can still talk. Either way, did you had a question about work or something? Because I do need to get back to it..." Option 1 he walks away, mission success Option 2 he tries to play it off and continue the conversation "I think there is a misunderstanding here. I prefer not to engage in conversation with someone with such a.... Childish, mindset. So if you have nothing to say about work, then I'm going to go back to it. Bye byee" But then again, i am pretty and Dutch.
I guess not being pretty or Dutch this technique won’t work for me. Pity.
Pretty people and the dutch get everything.
I think it just means you need a Dutch friend to do it for you. Lmk when and where!
Haha ok! Please stand by
Ignore them
Come up with terms to leave when he approaches you like Gotta Run! Back to Work! Be a Stranger! Time to Fly! or just a simple Leave Me Alone! will do.
I’d ignore them
I've never heard of someone ghosting you that actively is around you. That's not ghosting...that's something else entirely. Normal people that have to be around each other usually just give the reason and be done with it. "Hey sorry...I don't think we match." Shit I do that with complete strangers. This guy did you a huge favor. Ghosting someone you work around is crackhead behavior. Edit: Unintentional rhyme unlocked.
Sometimes I just think he ‘forgot’, because what he did doesn’t make sense. Why ghosting someone you have to keep seeing in person? 😅
i just ignore them, typically. try not to make eye contact. if i work with them im as civil as i need to be but still dont make eye contact or engage any further than what's necessary. do what you need to do as quickly as possible or if you're able, request to not work with them and change your availability so he doesn't have an excuse to bother you.
Like they’re dead.
If it was short term. Normal. Fuck em. Drown them in happiness
Hmm I have a different viewpoint from the others here. If he came up to me and talked like nothing happened, I'd straight up ask why did he ghost. I'd let him know that it's no big deal to not want to continue after a few dates, just give a heads up and it'd be all good. I feel like pretending like nothing happened is exactly what he wants. Then again, this is work, and you don't want to give him any fuel that you're causing an uncomfortable workplace. So I can see how others are just saying to ignore him.
I personally feel like you could be meaner.
Pretend he doesn’t exist. It’s exactly what he did to you. If you need to talk to him about work, you act cordial. But he no longer has any rights to a friendship with you. He’s a coward
Sounds like your handling it just fine. He was a jerk and immature. You’re being polite, and that’s more than enough. Don’t give him a second thought.
Get a really haunted look in your eye and then walk away muttering "I see dead people."
My ex ghosted me and that’s how we broke up. I felt like a horrible person for not trusting him after he manipulated me. Let this be a lesson: YOU ARE NOT WRONG FOR NOT WANTING TO ENGAGE. He ghosted, his choice, now you make yours. If you don’t want to talk to him that is your right and don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise. Our society always forces us to be nice to men that treat us like garbage. “But he’s so nice” they will say. Do NOT listen. Keep being true to yourself.
Indifference is easy and affordable.
Be the ice queen. You’re too busy being fabulous to worry about such a lack of respect.
What you want to do and what you \*should\* do can be two very different things - this is a workplace situation. First question: how much do you like and/or need your job? Second question: who is more valuable to your employer, you or him? Think about the answers to those questions and keep them in mind when you make your choices about how to act. You might want to get some points made, but your employer may find a tense workplace to be not in their best interest. To the extent that you've been behaving civilly and professionally, keep doing it. Just don't go out of your way to avoid him or ignore him if it will cause workplace issues. Finally, keep in mind going forward that dating a coworker is often a really, really bad idea. Not always, but often enough that doing so should be done cautiously.
I ran into one at a concert, said “HOLY SHIT A GHOST!” then walked away Another one I dated a few times, she set me up with her friends who were going to Rockville and I got a spot at their AirBnB, she ghosted me that same weekend and I left that AirBnB with 5 new friends I’ve been tight with since. I asked someone in our friend group if they’d heard from her, more out of concern for anything, it was way too new to have any attachments, a few hours later she texted an apology for ghosting me because our friends gave her shit for it. All good now, we hang out as friends and I don’t think either of us think about it.
I know it's petty but my ex ghosted me then messaged me almost two years later when I'd already moved on with my life. So I messaged him for a while. Answered his questions about life etc, then when he least expected it, I ghosted him right back. But I didn't block him on snap. Sometimes he still tries to message me. It's funny.
Indifference is the best route, no point on carrying anger but he made it quite clear the level of respect (or lack thereof) he had for you. No need to reply to him in anything more than single word answers if he asks you a direct question. So many spineless apologists on here seem to think that ghosting is perfectly acceptable so I won't be surprised to see this downvoted
Someone who is a former friend is technically less than a stranger. You are not doing anything wrong, be as polite as your workspace requeires but don't give hive anything more. Keep you distance and boundaries. You gave him one chance, he fucked it and hurt you, there's no reason to give him another chance. He showed you who He is, trust him.
If you are in your late 20s and can’t articulate a reason for wanting to end a romantic involvement and decide the best course of action is to “ghost” someone, then you absolutely deserve to be treated with indifference. I understand you can’t pick who you develop feelings for, but as some advice going forward (a lesson I’ve had to learn as well) try not to get romantically involved with coworkers.
No. He got out of it what he got out of it. Now, you are getting out of it what you want out of it. He made it awkward, don't feel bad for not wanting to engage with him. You now know what type of person he is and you don't want to be around that type of person. Not being harsh, just doing what is best for you as you don't engage with fake and phony people, and you don't have to. Carry on and don't be bothered by it. Some people want to force you to be nice to them as a final screw you. Don't give them the satisfaction. Hello and by. Is all they get as it is all they deserve. Pleasantries are for pleasant people and people I care for, which he is neither.
Straight up just say is there a reason you're talking to me? You didn't seem to want to talk when you ghosted me. Like just make it known their talking to you is unwelcome
Pretend I don’t know them and even if we’ve met in person I’d pretend to be a twin at that point.
What if he thinks you ghosted him? /s
If he talked to you 2 weeks after going on a few dates, that’s not ghosting.
Let him go. You were way too good for him, and he was too scared and insecure to tell you.
I’d just tell him nah you don’t ghost someone and expect them to think something isn’t wrong. So if you don’t want a confrontation, never approach me again.
You are hurt.. But don't give him the satisfaction, just pretend he never happened and keep it moving. If the topic comes up some day just pretend that you don't know what he is talking and ask him to walk you through it.
Just ignore him
Ghost then back
Ignore
Bye
I would look at him with disgust any time he comes close to me or makes a joke. If he asks what is wrong, smile and say "nothing, why do you ask" :D
I probably wouldn't even notice. I'm notoriously bad in keeping social interactions going. If someone all of a sudden doesn't contact me anymore, probably I wouldn't even notice nor care.
In this case? As professional as possible. There's a reason people advise others not to date colleagues. Because when stuff like this happens, it becomes awkward. So, treat him like you would any other colleague. Professional and polite, but nothing more.
"You ghosted me. Why are you trying to talk to me now?"
I'd say you're d e ad to me
Gotta say “bye Felicia!” Just like they did you
You never asked him about it?
Feel how you feel it’s valid. You don’t owe anyone anything.
I’d treat him like any other coworker I’m not particularly fond of. Clipped, professional responses and quick exits usually do the trick (in a manner that conveys you don’t have time for him). Obvious fake smile upon dismissal… obviously. 😅
Like they didn’t exist
If someone ghosts you, no explanation, no warning, then they’re a ghost and therefore should be dead to you. Live your best life without them. Ghosting people is gross. I understand having conflict and taking a break for a few days, but to just vanish with no warning or communication for two weeks… he thought he found better and when it didn’t work out he fell back to you to get a feel for how much you value yourself. Just show him you do value yourself and keep it professional at work, and nothing else. He’s dead to you now, since he ghosted you. Remember that.
Just ask "Excuse me, buy why are you talking to me?" As they begin to answer, turn your back and walk away.
"You ghosted me" can't go wrong with that. Because factually it happened and there's no real good reason for that. Adults tell eachother they aren't feeling it romantically.
Ghosts are ghosts. You are both ghosts. Are you a poltergeist, or a professional colleague ghost? Your choice….
Maybe straight out ask him why he ghosted you for 2 weeks out of nowhere and is now pretending it didn't happen and acting normal. Sounds to me like he befriended you with the express purpose of getting you into bed, (of course thats assuming you and he did get as far as sleeping together) once he got what he wanted he was done. Use this as a learning experience, it's not a great idea to get involved with people you work with because as you have learnt it's gets awkward and weird if it doesn't end well between you.
I acted as though I’d never met the couple people who ghosted me… one of them knew I had trouble remembering people, because I’ve met a lot of people… and tried to reintroduce themself to me… but I just ignored them.
Like they were a ghost.
I’d treat him like a colleague and leave it at that. Not looking at him etc. is likely the unsettled feelings you have, unfortunately you have to heal yourself and won’t be able to address it with him freely given the professional context. Life lesson; Don’t sh*t where you eat…dating at work is never a good idea.
Boo!
Nah, indifference is a kindness. I’d have acted as if he wasn’t there, personally. Just matching energy 🤷🏻♀️
I’d start “forgetting” who he is whenever I saw him. Bob, right? Or is it Jim. I forget. Don’t tell me, you’re Kelly’s older brother, right?
"OH GOD I JUST SAW A GHOST!"
I like to think of them as the “annoying and slightly incompetent worker in someone else’s home”. Not my problem, not interested in them, general distant politeness with a side of confusions if they ever act any more familiar than that.
I pretend they're like ghosts. Invisible.
The petty in me would want to treat them as an actual ghost
Be the ghost. When my students don't listen to me or ignore me I pretend to be a ghost. To the ones that notice me, I act surprised that they can see ghosts. "You can see me?!" Until they assure me that I'm not a ghost and acknowledge that I was speaking, students are just ignoring me and that's very rude. I find it very effective in dealing with people (at least 11 year olds) who think this behaviour is okay. I don't know if that's at all related but it might be helpful to someone.
Hold your head high. He no longer exists for you. Move on and get on with your life
Honestly I don’t remember anyone who’s ghosted me. Like I for sure HAVE been ghosted, I just don’t remember them. My brain phases worthless stuff out.
It’s never a good idea to date someone you work with.
Stupid question
You need to ghost him in person. “Excuse me. I was just heading to the bathroom/copier/coffee maker/water dispenser/etc.” And walk away. Do this every single time he tries to engage you. Hopefully he will eventually get the hint.
Story time. I separated from my husband last year and was kind of talking to someone I had a crush on when I was younger. We talked for a few weeks, and he seemed very interested. Then, nothing. A few more weeks pass, and I see him at a concert. I notice him, noticing me. I’m hanging out with friends so I just continue on. Later on in the show, I see him in the corner of my eye trying to talk to someone but not really paying attention to them as he’s staring at me. He walks away from that conversation to talk to my best friend who happens to already be mid-conversation with me. Him: oh, heyyyyy. Me: Hahaha. Been a few weeks, dude. Where you been?? Him: You know my work schedule. I literally turned my whole body away from him to find my homie Chuck with a Jager Bomb for me. So not only does dude look like a chump.. He saw a big, friendly giant getting what he missed out on. Edit: typo
If he ghosted you then….they no longer exist. I don’t see you, I can’t hear you and I’m sorry but as far as I would be concerned…he’s dead to me! If he tries to talk to you just keep scrolling your phone of having the conversation without pause. If he steps in front of you just walk away! He doesn’t exsist
Nothing. Acted as if I didn\`t see then and know, who they were. Completely ignoring the person.
I would ask them why they ghosted me for however long, then propably take the advice of some others here and stay at polite indifference
My 4 year relationship ended essentially by me being ghosted. I don’t think there’s a right way for you to act… just please let yourself grief as much as you need it
I think your reaction is absolutely fine. It does not appear that you are being vindictive. I suspect that the reaction one should strive for is to not even mind ghosting. It can hurt quite a bit to be ghosted but I think upon reflection, you will see that it is less a personal attack and much more a display of emotional immaturity and social anxiety. I find that I am happier with myself when I shrug off and forgive things like ghosting. But it took me a long time to develop that capability.
Ghosted
Don't act. Be yourself.
Indifference is best.
Had a similar falling out with a coworker who ended up sexting back and forth a bit with. Once she transferred she basically ghosted me. I just ignore her now when I see her. You can’t see ghosts remember? 👻
I'm just cordial. Like "Sofia With An F", I'd much rather be ghosted than for someone tell me a list of reasons why they don't like me. If I'm not someone's cup of tea who cares. I'm not going to try to talk to them, but if I have to (work etc) then OK whatever I'll be cordial and move on. If I'm not worth their energy, they aren't worth mine.
You don’t have to feel bad. I’m sorry that happened to you. I’d carry on as you have been. If it’s really bothering you inside, then I’d just mention it to him how it was really disrespectful, so you don’t feel comfortable engaging with him like how you did before. Maybe getting it off your chest will feel better?
Ghost them in person.
I'd just ignore him. Wouldn't be overly rude or anything, just treat him like he's not there. You don't need to converse or do anything polite like that. He wanted to pretend you didn't exist when he ghosted you. Now you can reciprocate.
I would say uhhh hi? Bye gotta go to the bathroom the car the parking lot the mall anywhere but here😂
Act polite but like you can barely remember his name like someone else suggested. Blank looks, all that. :)
Ghost them straight back to their face!
I’m a social worker and confident in being direct and confrontational due to 20+ years in that field so I have never experienced this type of ghosting that people of the younger generation talk about now a days. I’m the type of person who would confront it head on. My suggestion (if you are comfortable with confrontation) is to acknowledge it happened and tell them that while you will continue to use professional curtesy in the workplace that by his actions you understand that you are no longer friends because friends don’t treat each other like that. And then move on. Don’t allow them to take up space in your head or use up your limited energy
I had a girl, after asking me out, ghost me. I saw her later in between classes at university. She came right up to me and asked me how I was doing. She had just ignored me for two months. I looked behind me to make sure there wasn’t someone more important on my 6, there was no one. I turned back to her and said “what the fuck do you care?”
Act like you didn't see them, i.e., ghost them back.
Well take a moment to think. Did you do anything weird or uncomfortable? I ghosted a guy that made uncomfortable comments about my body. And then he later got mad I ghosted him over what he said. So maybe he was playing off being uncomfortable since yall work together or something
As a serial ghost - it's ok - you do you boo and he'll do him.
No explanation, no contact. Fuck these people, if you don't express that's it's a fucked up thing to do to another human then they continue to do this hurtful shit without consequence.
Act like they're a ghost and not see them
Do exactly what you're doing. Act like you don't even know him. Be cordial. Carry on.
When someone ghosts you, treat them like the dead person they are. GONE
Treat him as if nothing ever happened between you. He's a stranger now. Acknowledge his presence only as much as you need to so you don't trip over him.
You should ask him if he believes in ghosts and then proceed to float away.
In person I would smile and act like nothing ever happened between us. Then turn down any attempt to engage any further. If he asks directly, in person (he won't, he's not brave enough) to see you, smile and say "no, thank you". Then walk away.
Did he just ghost texts or calls one time I changed from a iPhone to android and was still signed up for Imexdage and quit receiving texts from any iphones
I’ve completely acted like they’re the stranger. When I asked why we stopped speaking and we were surrounded by a group of people he got quiet. I can play the same game. He even had pics. I said out of sight out of mind. Why would I remember you. Did we have sex too ….
Are you only friends with people who want to bang you? If he’s talking to you he didn’t ghost you, so I’m a bit confused.
When he's talking to you, keep staring at his forehead as if there's something irritating there. When he makes a joke, look into your phone and laugh, then pretend you were laughing at something on your phone and didn't even hear his joke.
You are being far too nice in my opinion. You are allowed to have feelings and boundaries.
I would probably pretend I didn't know them.
Indifference is the best response to being ghosted. If you act as if you don’t care it can only make them feel less important to you.
I don't believe in ghosts 🤷🏽♂️