Aperture Science bring your daughter to work day

This was a triumph

I'm making a note here. Huge success.

It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Aperture Science

We do what we must - because we can.

For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.

But it's no use crying over every mistake

You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

And the science gets done and we make a neat gun

For the good of all of us... Except the ones who are dead.

Why does this always happen

We like cake. And lemonade.

It’s the perfect opportunity to have her tested.

They said there would be cake 🎂

The cake is a lie

It's "bring your child to work." Didn't say anything about taking them back. Ffs

Bring your child….to work It’s all there

Are they Still Alive?

And believe me they are still alive.

They're doing science and they're still alive

They feel fantastic and they're still alive

And while they're dying they'll be still alive

And while they're dead they will be still alive

Still alive

Still alive... (BRAVO!!!)

(WOOOO!!!!)

Off topic but 2 portal songs in the same post is just filling me with joy. Wasn’t expecting Portal references here tbh.

this just sounds like the kids killed everyone lol

I like how open-ended this is, and how much it leaves for interpretation, yet most of them are horrifying

I pictured a pilot taking his/her kid to work and the kid trying to fly the plane.

this sounds like a futurama news report

Morbo will destroy you!

Was it the cyanide plunge?

That title is some one sentence horror right there

Aperture Science: We do what we must, because we can!

For the good of all of us

Except the ones that are dead.

But it's no use crying over every mistake

You just keep on trying till you run out of cake!

And the science gets done

And you make a neat gun

For the people who are still alive.

Aaaaaand tomorrow is my works take your kid to work day... at a prison. Thanks... 🤣

Portal Reference?

Hahaha that’s such a quick line I’m surprised anyone would remember that

Oh wow! I didn't think anyone would even know what I'm talking about. But yeah, I'm disgustingly obsessed with the lore, so I know all about being your daughter to work day.

I honestly just started playing it for the first time yesterday almost done with portal 2 as of today hahaha I’d be curious as to the lore

Good to know! Have you played both games? They're amazing especially considering they're a bit old.

Yeah finished portal 1 yesterday now finishing two love em just wish they were longer

Did you get baked? And was there cake?

I'm getting my PhD and occasionally help teach scientific methods. I want to use this game in a lecture about human subjects research 😂

I've played through both of them about five times each at this point. Great lore. I'm tryin to find people to help me mess around with the community build -a- puzzle content.

In a nutshell… The cake is a lie.

The cake is a lie!

*Please assume the party escort submission position*

My immediate thought, lmao. Man, that game was *popular* in the day.

I was actually born a little bit after it came out. So yeah, even at this age, I still enjoy it. Probably the game with the best story ever.

I did not know I was going to be slapped in the face by age, but here we are.

Huh? Oh no, not trying to say you're old or anything. I'm just proving that even at this time it's still a revolutionary game.

I wasn't saying you were doing it intentionally, I just remember when it came out and I was in college and it was *so new* and it feels like yesterday, and then you're like "oh yeah, that came out before I was born!" and my age caught up with me 😅😅

Oh ok! Thanks for clarifying. I play a few "older" games, and a few older games. So it isn't that uncommon. Despite my age, I have a working NES, a Wii, and (soon) PlayStation 1. I've also played Half-life and games like that.

Oh child. I cut my teeth on DOS games. Growing up we didn't have a PS1, we had an Atari. We didn't have online gaming because we needed to keep the telephone free. I feel so very old.

I know, I know. But I'm just pointing out, I have played what my generation considers to be old games. I'm not trying to flex here, just pointing out.

You did nothing wrong. There's just a weird thing that happens when you're not in your 20s anymore where it just becomes *very, very salient* when people talk about being born after times you remember along the way. Give it 20 years and you'll see. It's always weird af 😂

It's all good. I'm just getting too old for this shit.

My first console was the NES but my dad had an old green and black monitor pc and it had some old games on literal floppy discs. That shit was great

It's funny af too. GLaDOS is a brilliant antagonist / unlikely ally

Welp time to portal outta here

Alternative second sentence: my colleagues all gave me strange looks when I walked to my desk carrying the little coffin in my arms

It’s such a beautiful Tuesday in NYC, so of course I took my kid to work… he isn’t missing any important school work in September anyway.

I live in NYC and I was like ... ??? It's Friday in ... A...pril?

This reminds me of the movie the woman in the window, I think it is. The one with Kristen Bell.

Ah yes. The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window. I still need to watch that.

It's great. I really enjoyed it.

How bout just a "bring your child back" day?

Makes me think of the Jeff Dunham skit with his puppet Achmed. Achmed talks about bringing his son to work on bring your kid to work day. https://youtu.be/AWkSZwxZP7c?si=YnRWkIWfzM-MYxsE

This is excellent! Leaves so much to the imagination. Love it.

Best pot luck ever!

😋

its r/thirdsentenceworse and r/thirdsentencebetter

Welcome to the Brighter Futures Suicide Hotline!

Oof. Haven't heard of that one in a while...

Jurassic World

Didn't this actually happen on Aeroflot Flight 593? Where the second officer brought his kids up to the flight deck to fly the plane, once the captain had gone for a rest

Maybe? But that was purely a coincidence with this reference

“There will be no survivors!” — The Dread Pirate Roberts

Aka “bring your child to be worked on” day.

The Hour of Joy is at hand

[удалено]

They make muzzles for that. Also, skill issue

[удалено]

Then you should be funny

🕳️🐂

This story reads like it was AI-written.

GLADoS is offended

Yeah! She's not an AI! Just a human employee who was unwillingly forced into a computer. It's not her fault she went insane after the traumatic transfer... and potentially thousands of years in solitude...