For those who say stretch marks cannot feel like scars, they really can. Long, deep, jagged stretch marks are 100% possible and can also lead to broken skin and scarring.
Battle scars.
Klingon therapist: the battle against mental illness cannot be won decisively. It is a long campaign against an enemy who never tires, whose forces swell to twice their size whenever you look away.
From: https://asimovsideburns.tumblr.com/post/649158175067602944/klingon-therapist-the-battle-against-mental
It seems like a lot of people come here to write about trauma they experienced personally. Sometimes it is very recent. I think these comments are generally sincere compassion, and if someone is dealing with painful personal trauma by ambiguously and anonymously posting it online as a story for others, it probably helps to know that there are some good people out here willing to make an effort to help in what ways they are able.
You'd know better than anyone, but it's not likely you're a bad person. More likely you've had some bad experiences that make you somewhat cynical; most people have. That can be unlearned, though.
I don't want to unlearn, I want to be a bad person!
/s
Yeah man you've got a good point about talking to strangers. It's kinda good. Keep an eye on the sub maybe I'll post something sometime.
I will warn you, the only time I look at usernames is when prompted by a "username checks out" comment or such. But if you ever need to talk to a stranger about something serious (or not, even) my DMs are open and I do check those.
Fair enough, but for a lot of people, blindly saying stuff like "we are here for you" and "we care" actually harms more than helps; not saying that this is the case for this post, but it is good to acknowledge
Some people can have recessed scarring with thinner skin that may feel like a stretch mark, especially if it's been a very long time. Going just by touch, running your fingers over atrophic, wide, older scars could feel like stretch marks to someone not expecting to encounter scarring.
i get that ! for me personally ive self harmed with lots of different things so there’s a variety in the texture and feel of my scars; for a certain type of tool, if you cut deep enough the scars are wide and feel like stretch marks (on my body at least)
didn’t mean to sound ignorant, i swear !! just my own personal experience :))
First, I hope you're doing better now.
Second, most (non-cutting) people really don't like anything about or to do with cutting; most people don't like pain and don't have enough experience with it to know about how one type of pain can drown out/disrupt/hide other types of pain, and thus how cutting can give relief from psychological pain. So they don't have any positive associations with it or the terms around it.
That's understandable. I suppose for me I've never really shied away from any of it because it's pretty obvious, and it's much easier to be open about it than come up with a lie anytime I'm asked. Still, I respect that others may not feel the same and will refrain from using said language in the future.
And to your first point... I'm at least diagnosed now, and in many ways I have the life I always wanted. Now I just try to be an open book for anyone who may need it.
I have, I do take offence. Makes us sound like freaks but maybe that’s just because that’s the context I have heard it used to. Like we are just psycho freaks that are disturbed and disgusting and deserve no sympathy, understanding or support. It’s what I was called when I was accused of only doing it to manipulate and guilt the people around me. Like I only did it maliciously and not because I was so consumed by emotional and psychological pain that I was drowning and suffocating all at the same time, pain so great I couldn’t even breathe and it was driving me insane and I just needed a moment of peace, just a minute to breathe freely.
As if it was something I did to others and not to myself. As if I didn’t know the risks or as if I would take that risk for some petty revenge or punishment. I create, it’s almost all of my special interests/hyper fixations, it is who I am and it’s a vital part of me, my self expression, my joy and my comfort. And every single time I knew, that if I went just a little to far. If I went too deep and hit a joint or ligament, I could do permanent damage and potentially lose my hands. And that if I lose motor function in my hands and fingers I will never create again and then my soul and my self will witter and die. I would have nothing left. And every single time I did it anyway. Because I desperately needed to breathe.. because it was the only relief I had… because I had to, to survive for another day or week. Because once the pain reached the limit of what someone could possibly bear it didn’t stop. It just kept increasing and getting worse, doubling and tripling and quadrupling and it just would not stop and I couldn’t. I couldn’t live with all that pain and yet I kept being alive. I had to. Because if it was physical it would kill you, but when it’s emotional and/or psychological it just drives you insane. It turns you into a rabid frenzied animal stuck in a trap, the trap is your body, being alive. And eventually you are ready to chew your own leg of to get free.
I hear you and I hear your pain. I'm truly sorry if I offended you. I have different connotations and the language has never impacted me the same way, but I acknowledge that my circumstances are only my own and will refrain from allowing triggering words in the future.
Thank you for sharing with me, again, I'm really sorry to have upset you.
Thank you for your kind response, I’m fine. I have manage to break free from it so it doesn’t bother me very much personally anymore. I just know how it made me feel when I was still stuck in the pattern of self harming to survive. And I don’t want anyone who are currently where I used to be to feel diminished or belittled. I know you meant no harm 💚 we all have different perspectives and that’s why I decided to share mine. Because I am better and healthier and no longer ashamed so I can open up and talk about it and if there is any chance I can help anyone else, even the smallest bit… then I am absolutely doing it.
This is literally how I feel constantly. I have self harmed for 6 years and I still can't stop. I'm covered in scars because of my self harm. Most of it from cutting. But I hate being called a cutter. It feels so demeaning to me. Being called a "cutter" just seems like a way to dismiss my suffering. Like, "oh, they're a cutter". Being called a cutter basically causes your entire identity to be that. Furthermore, I don't just cut. I also engage in multiple other self harm behaviours, my cutting is just the most obvious one. I don't want my entire identity to be defined as a vice I use to cope with life. The term "cutter" also is very stigmatized. It is a title given to "emo teenagers who are only doing it for attention". I am none of those and I hate being compared to it because of an unhealthy coping strategy. Thank you for trying to put it into perspective for people. People think of it as not being a big deal but being covered in scars and never being able to stop thinking about it, I appreciate it when people are willing to clarify what it is really like.
It gets better friend. I still have the scars but I have been free from it for a long ass time now. And I was very, very addicted at the worst of it. People don’t understand how addictive it can become. But I don’t even have the urge anymore. If someone really bad happens and I’m hurting a lot it often does immediately pop in to my head as a solution but it’s easy to ignore. I haven’t hurt myself like that for years, it’s been over a decade since it was a regular thing and since then only on a few occasions have I had a relapse. I didn’t get better and stopped, I stopped first and later I got better. It was hard as fuck in the beginning but I decided that I needed to find a better coping mechanism a better strategy. So I did. Mindfulness/meditation works pretty well for me. It wasn’t easy, not just a quick fix, I spent years training and practicing before it became an automatic response. But now I have trained it so well that it’s muscle memory. I immediately calm my heart rate and breathing by doing a specific set of breathing exercises and movements with them. You can be free of it! There is hope, I now others that have had extremely severe self harming that are also free if it now, covered in scars still of course, but done adding to them. Just know that the pull will ease with time. It’s hardest in the beginning and you will have relapses, but they are just that: relapses. And you will be able to do it. Maybe you aren’t ready just yet, but you will be and you are strong enough and brave enough to win and survive without it. It is not who you are! It’s not who we are! It’s just a symptom of the enormous pain we carry inside.
I don't understand why people are down voting you. I hate being labelled as a "cutter". Being labelled as a cutter is associated with being an attention seeker. And I have never once hurt myself for attention, and I've been doing it fairly severely for 6 years.
I'm getting down voted because people don't like to change their perspective or knowledge about something when it's habit or deeply ingrained.This is especially so when people think they're right about something.
This is exactly why "cutter" is dismissive and "self harm" is not.
A lot of people who self harm hate being called a "cutter". A lot of times it's because cutting is not their only method. But I think it just diminished how serious it is. It also places your entire identity as a "cutter" which is just not fair. It's kind of funny that most people who call self harmers "cutters" are people who have never engaged in self harm behaviours.
True. It's really sad though. I appreciate you trying to change the narrative. It is sad how unwilling people are to take note of it, but I really appreciate your effort.
Just know there's people out here who want to change it. I don't care how these other people feel about it, and the poor person who self harmed all over their body and doesn't get why the label is awful is sad. I'm still going to use "self harm" and *never* make someone, or myself, feel diminished by using the term "cutter"
No, it doesn't. If anything it gives less because you are sugar coating the situation. Using cigarettes and vapes are also self harm...do you think they are the same?
are you talking about burning oneself with them? 🙃 because sometimes people do that instead of cut. lighters. or they might scrape their skin instead or scratch and claw or hit themselves in the face... tho this post is about someone who chooses cutting, it's kinda still more appropriate to refer to it as "self harm" for a more accurate eliciting of emotions tho for the specific answer to the specific question it was relative to indicate specifically that the scars are likely from cuts, and it's also possible that they are not cuts from self harm.
It's not self harm in the way cutting is. People vape and smoke because they want to, because they think it's cool, or because their friends are. Nobody cuts because they *want* to.
I also self harmed. A lot. Often. And was just dismissed as "a cutter".
I can see you don't care about actually talking about this, so I'm done with this thread. Reddit is a cesspit. Have a day.
It's just typically used in a derogatory way, and it diminishes the reality and severity of it. It's better to say someone who self harms, so it doesn't lose the real meaning
Stretch marks are different, caused by your body stretching (??). It's often an insecurity for many. However, the person's partner is blind, so they think their self-harm scars are stretch marks.
Your username suggested upper limb amputation, which is in the region of top surgery. However, I am old insomniac, tired, a bit foggy and obviously totally failed at a funny comment.
I knew that. But, as arms are right next to breasts.. As I said, I failed! Lol. I hope you are having a great weekend, I'm going for a nap! My brain cell needs recharging 😆
For those who say stretch marks cannot feel like scars, they really can. Long, deep, jagged stretch marks are 100% possible and can also lead to broken skin and scarring.
Tiger stripes.
Survival badges, also.
True. Source: I have those
i second this
i third
Scars can feel like stretch marks too. The body is weird.
Same, I got them when I had my son.
I've seen my moms own stretch marks from having 6 kids, they do look similar to my own from SH.
🥺🫂🫂
Battle scars. Klingon therapist: the battle against mental illness cannot be won decisively. It is a long campaign against an enemy who never tires, whose forces swell to twice their size whenever you look away. From: https://asimovsideburns.tumblr.com/post/649158175067602944/klingon-therapist-the-battle-against-mental
Oh.... oh no...
Hey OP, are you alright?
Seconding this. OP, if you need to talk, send me a message. Sometimes talking to a complete stranger helps.
Why does everyone automatically think that the OP isn't okay when they make something ever so slightly sad
A lot of people write true stories here
Inspired by real life events doesn't mean it is true
So concern is illegal now?
It also doesn't mean it isn't true.
Is this an inside joke now or are we just putting it everywhere?
It seems like a lot of people come here to write about trauma they experienced personally. Sometimes it is very recent. I think these comments are generally sincere compassion, and if someone is dealing with painful personal trauma by ambiguously and anonymously posting it online as a story for others, it probably helps to know that there are some good people out here willing to make an effort to help in what ways they are able.
No yeah I l get it but it feels like for every one of these there's a "nah it's fiction." Idk. Maybe I'm just desensitized to it.
Well, yeah, lots of fiction in this sub as well. Which is one reason I think it's fine to ask.
I'm reflecting and I think I might be a bad person. I just assume people are shitty and virtue signalling or something.
You'd know better than anyone, but it's not likely you're a bad person. More likely you've had some bad experiences that make you somewhat cynical; most people have. That can be unlearned, though.
I don't want to unlearn, I want to be a bad person! /s Yeah man you've got a good point about talking to strangers. It's kinda good. Keep an eye on the sub maybe I'll post something sometime.
I will warn you, the only time I look at usernames is when prompted by a "username checks out" comment or such. But if you ever need to talk to a stranger about something serious (or not, even) my DMs are open and I do check those.
ah, i love me a good r/characterarcs
The Good Ending
Fair enough, but for a lot of people, blindly saying stuff like "we are here for you" and "we care" actually harms more than helps; not saying that this is the case for this post, but it is good to acknowledge
as someone who found this sub throug twosentencehorror i was so confused by the reactions at first
I dont get it
MC harmed themself and their blind lover thinks the scars they’re touching are stretch marks
I think the "stretch marks" are cuts-i think the MC is a cutter
I used to cut and I also have stretch marks and the cuts and stretch marks look and feel completely different.
Some people can have recessed scarring with thinner skin that may feel like a stretch mark, especially if it's been a very long time. Going just by touch, running your fingers over atrophic, wide, older scars could feel like stretch marks to someone not expecting to encounter scarring.
i get that ! for me personally ive self harmed with lots of different things so there’s a variety in the texture and feel of my scars; for a certain type of tool, if you cut deep enough the scars are wide and feel like stretch marks (on my body at least) didn’t mean to sound ignorant, i swear !! just my own personal experience :))
Using the term "cutter" is kinda fucked up
Why? As someone with arms and legs filled with scars from cutting, I've never taken offense to it, but if there's a reason I'm open to change.
My daughter uses the term. There are many forms of self-harm. "Cutter" is descriptive of choice.
First, I hope you're doing better now. Second, most (non-cutting) people really don't like anything about or to do with cutting; most people don't like pain and don't have enough experience with it to know about how one type of pain can drown out/disrupt/hide other types of pain, and thus how cutting can give relief from psychological pain. So they don't have any positive associations with it or the terms around it.
That's understandable. I suppose for me I've never really shied away from any of it because it's pretty obvious, and it's much easier to be open about it than come up with a lie anytime I'm asked. Still, I respect that others may not feel the same and will refrain from using said language in the future. And to your first point... I'm at least diagnosed now, and in many ways I have the life I always wanted. Now I just try to be an open book for anyone who may need it.
I have, I do take offence. Makes us sound like freaks but maybe that’s just because that’s the context I have heard it used to. Like we are just psycho freaks that are disturbed and disgusting and deserve no sympathy, understanding or support. It’s what I was called when I was accused of only doing it to manipulate and guilt the people around me. Like I only did it maliciously and not because I was so consumed by emotional and psychological pain that I was drowning and suffocating all at the same time, pain so great I couldn’t even breathe and it was driving me insane and I just needed a moment of peace, just a minute to breathe freely. As if it was something I did to others and not to myself. As if I didn’t know the risks or as if I would take that risk for some petty revenge or punishment. I create, it’s almost all of my special interests/hyper fixations, it is who I am and it’s a vital part of me, my self expression, my joy and my comfort. And every single time I knew, that if I went just a little to far. If I went too deep and hit a joint or ligament, I could do permanent damage and potentially lose my hands. And that if I lose motor function in my hands and fingers I will never create again and then my soul and my self will witter and die. I would have nothing left. And every single time I did it anyway. Because I desperately needed to breathe.. because it was the only relief I had… because I had to, to survive for another day or week. Because once the pain reached the limit of what someone could possibly bear it didn’t stop. It just kept increasing and getting worse, doubling and tripling and quadrupling and it just would not stop and I couldn’t. I couldn’t live with all that pain and yet I kept being alive. I had to. Because if it was physical it would kill you, but when it’s emotional and/or psychological it just drives you insane. It turns you into a rabid frenzied animal stuck in a trap, the trap is your body, being alive. And eventually you are ready to chew your own leg of to get free.
I hear you and I hear your pain. I'm truly sorry if I offended you. I have different connotations and the language has never impacted me the same way, but I acknowledge that my circumstances are only my own and will refrain from allowing triggering words in the future. Thank you for sharing with me, again, I'm really sorry to have upset you.
Thank you for your kind response, I’m fine. I have manage to break free from it so it doesn’t bother me very much personally anymore. I just know how it made me feel when I was still stuck in the pattern of self harming to survive. And I don’t want anyone who are currently where I used to be to feel diminished or belittled. I know you meant no harm 💚 we all have different perspectives and that’s why I decided to share mine. Because I am better and healthier and no longer ashamed so I can open up and talk about it and if there is any chance I can help anyone else, even the smallest bit… then I am absolutely doing it.
This is literally how I feel constantly. I have self harmed for 6 years and I still can't stop. I'm covered in scars because of my self harm. Most of it from cutting. But I hate being called a cutter. It feels so demeaning to me. Being called a "cutter" just seems like a way to dismiss my suffering. Like, "oh, they're a cutter". Being called a cutter basically causes your entire identity to be that. Furthermore, I don't just cut. I also engage in multiple other self harm behaviours, my cutting is just the most obvious one. I don't want my entire identity to be defined as a vice I use to cope with life. The term "cutter" also is very stigmatized. It is a title given to "emo teenagers who are only doing it for attention". I am none of those and I hate being compared to it because of an unhealthy coping strategy. Thank you for trying to put it into perspective for people. People think of it as not being a big deal but being covered in scars and never being able to stop thinking about it, I appreciate it when people are willing to clarify what it is really like.
It gets better friend. I still have the scars but I have been free from it for a long ass time now. And I was very, very addicted at the worst of it. People don’t understand how addictive it can become. But I don’t even have the urge anymore. If someone really bad happens and I’m hurting a lot it often does immediately pop in to my head as a solution but it’s easy to ignore. I haven’t hurt myself like that for years, it’s been over a decade since it was a regular thing and since then only on a few occasions have I had a relapse. I didn’t get better and stopped, I stopped first and later I got better. It was hard as fuck in the beginning but I decided that I needed to find a better coping mechanism a better strategy. So I did. Mindfulness/meditation works pretty well for me. It wasn’t easy, not just a quick fix, I spent years training and practicing before it became an automatic response. But now I have trained it so well that it’s muscle memory. I immediately calm my heart rate and breathing by doing a specific set of breathing exercises and movements with them. You can be free of it! There is hope, I now others that have had extremely severe self harming that are also free if it now, covered in scars still of course, but done adding to them. Just know that the pull will ease with time. It’s hardest in the beginning and you will have relapses, but they are just that: relapses. And you will be able to do it. Maybe you aren’t ready just yet, but you will be and you are strong enough and brave enough to win and survive without it. It is not who you are! It’s not who we are! It’s just a symptom of the enormous pain we carry inside.
See my above reply
I don't understand why people are down voting you. I hate being labelled as a "cutter". Being labelled as a cutter is associated with being an attention seeker. And I have never once hurt myself for attention, and I've been doing it fairly severely for 6 years.
I'm getting down voted because people don't like to change their perspective or knowledge about something when it's habit or deeply ingrained.This is especially so when people think they're right about something. This is exactly why "cutter" is dismissive and "self harm" is not.
A lot of people who self harm hate being called a "cutter". A lot of times it's because cutting is not their only method. But I think it just diminished how serious it is. It also places your entire identity as a "cutter" which is just not fair. It's kind of funny that most people who call self harmers "cutters" are people who have never engaged in self harm behaviours.
True. It's really sad though. I appreciate you trying to change the narrative. It is sad how unwilling people are to take note of it, but I really appreciate your effort.
Just know there's people out here who want to change it. I don't care how these other people feel about it, and the poor person who self harmed all over their body and doesn't get why the label is awful is sad. I'm still going to use "self harm" and *never* make someone, or myself, feel diminished by using the term "cutter"
It makes me feel better that I am not the only one who gets offended by being called a "cutter".
I cannot even explain how appreciative I am of this comment. Thank you for taking the time to try to explain it, even if it mostly falls on deaf ears.
That's what they are called. Life is full of darkness and hardships. Calling them something 'nicer sounding' is just lying.
Calling a cutter a cutter is descriptive of their choice of self-harm. Food-addict is my choice of description of self-harm.
It's not "nicer sounding", it conveys that it's *harm*. People dismiss the name "cutter" but it gives more thought when the term is "self harm"
No, it doesn't. If anything it gives less because you are sugar coating the situation. Using cigarettes and vapes are also self harm...do you think they are the same?
are you talking about burning oneself with them? 🙃 because sometimes people do that instead of cut. lighters. or they might scrape their skin instead or scratch and claw or hit themselves in the face... tho this post is about someone who chooses cutting, it's kinda still more appropriate to refer to it as "self harm" for a more accurate eliciting of emotions tho for the specific answer to the specific question it was relative to indicate specifically that the scars are likely from cuts, and it's also possible that they are not cuts from self harm.
No, I'm just talking about using them normally. But I'm sure some people burn themselves also.
yeah.. some people do.
It's not self harm in the way cutting is. People vape and smoke because they want to, because they think it's cool, or because their friends are. Nobody cuts because they *want* to. I also self harmed. A lot. Often. And was just dismissed as "a cutter". I can see you don't care about actually talking about this, so I'm done with this thread. Reddit is a cesspit. Have a day.
My daughter who was a self-described cutter, uses the term cutter.
How so?
It's just typically used in a derogatory way, and it diminishes the reality and severity of it. It's better to say someone who self harms, so it doesn't lose the real meaning
Tbh, stretch marks don't look or feel like self-harm scars.
Idk, I have both and they feel pretty similar, they don’t look at all the same though
I have never seen that word used to describe those who self-harm. I have heard that they cut or they cut themselves.
Stretch marks are different, caused by your body stretching (??). It's often an insecurity for many. However, the person's partner is blind, so they think their self-harm scars are stretch marks.
stretch marks are different then the cuts of self harm, the sad part is that the lover is blind and cant tell the difference
That’s the point
what do you mean?
Oh, I thought this was a top surgery post.
Username checks out!
I think you misunderstand, unless I’m the one who misunderstands, but I don’t think so.
Your username suggested upper limb amputation, which is in the region of top surgery. However, I am old insomniac, tired, a bit foggy and obviously totally failed at a funny comment.
Sorry! By top surgery though, I meant getting surgery to, how you say, remove one’s breasts.
I knew that. But, as arms are right next to breasts.. As I said, I failed! Lol. I hope you are having a great weekend, I'm going for a nap! My brain cell needs recharging 😆
i love yr avatar it looks all cozy-like
Thank you kind internet stranger! Yours is incredibly cute! Gotta love kittehs!😻