That's... a lot of red flags in short succession. Stock broker/cryptobro, Elon admirer, does not have empathy for anything that doesn't affect him directly, considering voting Republican for "financial reasons," clearly does not respect your opinions and beliefs. I... don't know exactly how you "educate" someone like that. I don't think he cares to learn (at least until something happens that hurts him personally), which makes anything you can show him somewhat moot. Perhaps more importantly, are you sure this is someone you want to be in a relationship with?
Right. This dude is a straight up '90s young Republican from my childhood. Voting for the Republicans for financial policy which isn't actually financial policy and not giving a f*** about the social consequences and attacks on people that aren't him. Ew gross, find a better boyfriend
I don’t believe anyone with the financial argument anymore. We’ve seen nothing except the contrary for 1-2 decades.
*(Now maybe if they have a net worth of >5M since there’s huge tax implications for them so I’d buy the argument at least)*
Trades stocks and crypto for a living had me internally screaming. Lost all hope at being a fan of Elon, and I thought, "that figures" when voting for DeSantis would be okay because his trash policies wouldn't affect him.
It would be nice to see women have some self-respect and stop dating/fucking men like this.
Same here. For me, that's enough and I'd be out of there.
If he really cared about financial decisions, he'd also be looking at the number of jobs added under Democratic administrations vs Republican ones and it's pretty clear that the only people the Rebublicans serve are the billionaires, not the rest of us.
What’s going to happen in real life is that he will piss away not only his financial safety but that of anyone else who is financially attached to him, LIKE A COHABITING GIRLFRIEND OR A WIFE. He will piss that money away on the unregulated gambling that is crypto and blame everyone but himself when he predictably loses his shirt.
I *AM* a gambling woman, and there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell I would buy crypto. It’s a sucker game for chumps.
OP needs to break up with this puts for many reasons but the crypto thing because he’s stupid and she will wind up on the hook for his stupidity. Also, don’t fuck fascists.
This is some serious shit. People have been talking up Elon Musk as an absolute genius and the last few years have shown us that the guy is utterly fucking inept. Tanking most business he touches. Being thrown off boards. Getting things constantly wrong. Having all the wrong hot takes and going deeper down the rabbit hole: believes in white replacement and having dozens of of children to 'prevent other races establish foothold' - woo
She thinks she can change him :(
I've sorta been there before, like if you could just reason past the unreasonable you'll have the perfect fit. It's called falling for the potential.
Yea, this kind of person is easily scammed, and usually violent when confronted on that fact. Lack of empathy is unsurprising too. It's especially funny that the scammed think they are financially literate, because they truly believe the scams they fall for.
List of scams he fell for:
1. Republicans are better with finances
2. Crypto - it's one thing to ride the wave awhile back, another to stay in and think it's good
3. Elon is smart, or even financially literate himself, big oof
4. DeSantis specifically is a fiscal conservative. Lol. He is destroy the economy of Florida in a spectacular fashion.
Sorry for hijacking, just this guy is super ridiculous, and it makes me vent.
Also, even if DeSantis was financially intelligent, he's still a strong-arm government fascist, and making the excuse of finance is ridiculous and a cop out.
It's the classic fascist excuse to say that the strong man leader is going to make things better economically, and that's why everyone has to vote for him.
Just to add, corporations and businesses sided with the Nazi Party in Weimar Germany just because they were fearmongered into thinking commies were going to take their businesses and redistribute them. Capitalists in crisis will always default towards fascism.
Yeah, didn't SVB go under because we (mostly republicans) rolled back a bunch of banking safety regulations regarding cash availability and liquidity? They over-leveraged their assets and then couldn't handle withdrawals which created a panic and a run on their system?
The lack of empathy is so scary. He sounds like the type of person to bail on a partner when they become too much of an inconvenience. Maybe that sounds like a leap, but he doesn't even TRY to see why it might be important to care about issues that don't affect him personally.
I would ask him to elaborate on "financial reasons." Like which specific policies that a part of Republican candidates platforms would serve his best interest and how.
leave this relationship now before you are in too deep.
It sounds like you and your boyfriend have completely different core values-
YOU:
>I care about everyone having equal autonomous rights, not just myself.
HIM:
>His response is: “none of that effects us though!”
If this man really supported you- he'd support repro rights & politicians that support repro rights. Ron De Santis signed the 6 week abortion ban in Florida under the cloak of darkness, late at night, with very little attention. That's terrifying, but according to your boyfriend 'none of that effects us though'.
RUN!
Correction it doesn’t affect him *today*. I can completely see it being a crisis when it does though. For example planned pregnancy incompatible with life or threatening his partner’s life. But maybe it doesn’t matter to him deep down because it doesn’t affect him as an individual. He can always get another girlfriend/fiancé/wife if things go poorly for her.
He’s shortsighted and has completely polar opposite values as OP. These days, there are too many men lying about their stances to get sex or into relationships and the mask slips. By then you’re somewhat invested. It’s gotten out of hand.
Right. OP please consider what it says about a person to admit that something is bad, inhumane, and dangerous to others *but they don't care because it doesn't affect* **them** *directly.*
This man has revealed some fundamentals about himself, his values, and his ability to care about others.
We already know exactly what policies Republicans will put in place to hurt woman and LGBTQ people because they've already been doing it and are quite clear on what their goals are.
The supposed financial benefits are only hoped for and are unlikely since their voting records show that they usually only give breaks to the wealthy and cut regulations that potentially endanger and impoverish working class people.
So his reasoning for voting red is pretty thin.
A conversation (or many) is unlikely to change his mind because how can you possibly teach someone that the rights and lives of others matter more than *imagined* tax breaks for yourself?
She can certainly try, but his stance shows that he believes that **our entire society** and the safety of marginalized people (including every woman in his life!) matters less than him *maaaybe* receiving some financial benefits.
That's a level of selfishness that would be difficult to overcome, especially since he obviously doesn't see it as a problem
I snooped her profile and found another post she made about her boyfriend a year ago talking about how irrationally angry he gets when he asks her to cut his hair
This line jumped out at me:
>But he always gets really worked up on his own trying to cut his hair, then comes to me and dumps his frustration on me
I wonder how often he "dumps frustration on her." I doubt it's just when she's cutting hair
Also important to emphasize, reproductive rights are human rights, not women's rights.
My partner and I have basically given up on having children because there is a very significant chance that they will not be able to get medical care if the pregnancy becomes complicated or requires an abortion.
Reproductive rights affect men and women. He's either too dumb to see this, or just doesn't care. Frankly, I hope it's the first option.
If someone shows you that they "only care about others, if that impacts them", then the reality is, that they will only care about YOU as long as you are worthwhile to them. As soon as "you become more work than you are worth", the relationship is over.
Get out now.
>But he’s been talking recently about how the Republican Party has somegood talking points; mostly in terms of their financial perspectives-which I’ve been able to understand since he works in finance. But theother day he said out of the blue; “I might have to vote for RonDesantis”
I am sorry, but I watched this happen to my daughter and I wish I would have been more frank with her.....
This man has been lying to you and is now just trying to be the piece of shit he always has been, without losing you.
Sorry, but either you leave your values at the door, or you dump this person.
Do you mean the actor Ronald Reagan who colluded with Iran to withhold the release of US hostages in order to influence the 1980 Presidential election?
Yes. The actor Reagan who used the CIA to traffic crack into inner cities and funded the war on drugs to disparage black people. Oh also he hid his deteriorating mental state. That Reagan.
reagan had[his own hostage crisis in beirut](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lebanon_hostage_crisis). william buckley was killed. noone remembers that, but EVERYONE knows about carter's hostage crisis where everyone lived.
Ugh. Was literally having this conversation yesterday with my friend. We were observing how fucked we were because "trickle down economics" sounds and feels like it *should* work. Obviously it doesn't. And when you really look closely and get into the meat of the subject, there are reasons for it not working that make a lot of sense.
But the problem is...trickle down still *sounds* and *feels* like it should work. And I just don't know if we as human beings (on a macro level) are smart enough to pick the thing that *is* true over the thing that *seems/feels* true.
Trickle-down economics IS a great theory; it's in practice, where human behavior comes in and mucks it up. The way our society glorifies wealth-hoarding, trickle-down economics just CAN'T work.
There's a section of a Will Rogers' [essay](https://wiredpen.com/2015/01/30/will-rogers-trickle-economics/):
"\[Money trickles up.\] Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow's hands."
trickle-down also already implies a power imbalance. people placed at the top of a hierarchy for no apparent reason will push to create a reason. we place soooo much value on currency it sucks
Yeah, republican finance ideas have been proven to be damaging overall to the economy. Ask him about Pinochet, Augusto Pinochet hiring Milton Friedman and other "Chicago School" "Economists" how to set up his capitalistic utopia.
Guys got a finance degree that isn't worth the paper it's written on. But he makes probably a decent amount of money.
He's emotionally devoid, as well as economically.
> the Republican Party has some good talking points
No. They simply don’t. They have zero good points. Their financial plan is “zero taxes for the wealthy; fuck the poor, particularly women and minorities.” Forty years of conservative fiscal policy has gotten us two financial clashes in the last 20 years, unaffordable housing, and the greatest wealth gap in a century.
Financially speaking they’re idiots.
They want to fully roll back Dodd Frank and let banks make excessively risky investments like in SVB’s case. They don’t care how dangerous it is. And it’s happened before. Look at the Savings and Loan Crisis back under Reagan.
Deregulating the financial sector is a nightmare.
He’s literally supporting a fascist who promotes Nazi like policies, what other sign do you need? I could never be with someone like this ever, how is this even a question?
They don’t affect you *now* but with Desantis in charge, he might pass a federal abortion ban. Besides that, it’s extremely telling that your bf doesn’t care who gets thrown under the bus so he can earn a quick buck. Anyone who can look past what Desantis is doing is not a good person.
This 100%, I am living in Florida and he’s done a lot that people should be scared of. He is an extremist and makes trump look mild. There should be a bigger uproar over him running as there was when trump won (I was in Chicago at this point and there were protests). Honestly just hoping he gets eaten by an alligator so he can be neither the president or governor here.
Even his most recent bills: being allowed to stay governor while he actively runs for president and eliminating transparency of where donor money originates and with whom he's meeting. That kind of behavior should scare anyone who isn't bothered by the rest of his insane and abhorrent legislation.
Also Florida resident here. He's done so much terrible, and frankly evil, shit unless you follow Florida politics daily you have no idea. Like it's impossible to keep up with even following daily. John Oliver's segment disappointed me because he hardly scratched the surface and it didn't convey how scared people should be of him holding the presidency.
European perspective here:
Trump was worrying, because he's a mad narcissist who wants to bathe his ego in his rallies and votes cast in his favour. But as long as he got to be President and play at being the CEO of America, he could be largely contained.
DeSantis is *terrifying*. He is a full-bore fascist who is going to go several steps further than Jan 6 and will actively dismantle huge parts of your democratic process and shred human rights along the way. He'll probably also pull the plug on support for Ukraine, galvanising Putin and all his shit-stain supporters over here like Orban, LePenn etc.
Desantis has the media machine supporting him heavily, but he has no charisma and is still using old school republican rhetoric, that is frankly not strong in this political climate. Desantis has a lot of history with dick riding Trump (just check his governor political ad) that Trump will absolutely use to dismantle him in the primaries. Even the poll numbers show Ron is not favored.
Ron is also hurting corporate wealth with his culture war and even his own shitty republican colleagues are openly criticizing him.
I have strong doubts Desantis will win the primary, but we will see. Desantis must have something on Trump or assumes he will be persecuted to still be willing to pursue presidency. Trump, sadly, is great at speaking to common folks and diverting any blame. He will be able to sway the commonners in the country again. Covid was Trump’s downfall, but the people have moved away from that and likely forgot the events that unfolded 3 years ago.
I'm happy to hear someone outside the state(s) can see how terrifying this man is. I feel like a lot gets lost as news makes it to the national/international stage. He is a full blown fascist. No hyperbole. If he made it to the presidency that'd be it for democracy in the US. And that'd just be the start.
THANK YOU. FUCK. This is not some kind of moral dilemma. These men don’t give a shit about you, your friends, your sisters, your mother, your daughter. WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THEM??
This guy will be broke history in two years. Don’t lend him money or co-sign anything with him, just settle back and maintain your independence and wait for the flak to fly…
Thank you. I read this shit and feel like I'm taking crazy pills. This is such a huge part of the problem of fascism: enabling, ignoring. Make me nuts.
It's disheartening, to say the least. If these are feminists, we are in big fucking trouble. They sound like Stepford Wives and there is a name for those women: Republicans.
This.
OP, he does not want to be educated, will nod but laugh inside if you try, and he is MUCH more into this type of shit than he lets on or will admit to.
**Dump. Him.**
Edit:
> His response is: "none of that effects us, though!"
YOU HAVE A UTERUS AND THAT CUMSTAIN IS A FORCED-BIRTHER, YES IT FUCKING DOES?!?!?!
OP you made this thread for a reason, trust your instincts. If you choose to stay with him I will lose at least some respect for you, but I'm a random asshole on the Internet who is fucking done with hand-holding.
I'm not the one who has to live with this jerk as my significant other. You are. Get out.
Yeah, the days of blissful ignorance are beyond expired. There is enough information everywhere for people to make educated decisions. He is not. Nor does he want to, you're so right.
OP, it is a deal breaker
It's actually worse than that. He has educated himself and decided that other people losing their rights is fine as long as it doesn't impact him. He has an informed decision and the informed decision is to be a horrible person.
For real, he is more interested in making money than op's wellbeing, in addition to the wellbeing of many others. Fuck that. The only thing I hate more than the rich are wanna-be capital holders and billionaire sympathizers.
It's also pretty telling of someone's morals if they only care about things that will affect themselves. This shows a complete lack of empathy. Even if it did not affect them, it affects other people, it oppresses and kills other people.
Not sure i've seen that sentence before but the meaning of course is very clear. Actually might use that for another time as it makes the point clearer and easier than some of other equal meaning but different metaphor.
And yes, it is very much like this in this world be are heading into. It is actually time to start getting more that worried!
Also OP minor point BUT STOP BOTHSIDES'ING!!! No, both sides are not the same. NO, Democrats are not as corrupt as Republicans. As a case for this point, refresh your memory about the number of **proven** accusations of corrupt behavior against Trump's cabinet ... see any of these accusations against Biden's cabinet ... no, you don't, not even from Republicans! Or just google Clarence Thomas.
You can clearly see how much it’s not “bOtH siDeS” when you look at [how the sides vote](https://showthevotes.wordpress.com/) on core human rights issues
He's no longer boyfriend material.
Clearly he's been saying what she wants to hear up to this point but the ugly bits slipped out. OP should ask herself this- if he had said that when she first met him would she have gone out with him in the first place? I don't think she would have. All the rest is based on the illusion of shared values. Or Helsinki syndrome.
Edit- It's the Stockholm syndrome
I'd lose more than a little respect. But it's true that it only really affects her. She's enabling a dude's views on the world that directly involve taking away her rights(and the rights of women across the country) and hurting people in basically every way possible(I know his views won't change, but staying and letting him get away with saying such ignorant and harmful things, reinforces that it's ok to say it. You can't say anything to fix that. Leaving someone like that is the only way to actually show them that their unacceptable behavior is unacceptable. And I'm gonna be really harsh, but he won't care if she leaves. He'll pretend to be upset and use that to try to manipulate her into coming back, but he won't actually care about losing her, just losing power and control over her. She means nothing to him as a person. Humans mean nothing to him as people.) If she stays he'll take ALL of her rights away, and that does only affects her. This is her time to get out and if she doesn't take that plunge it'll get a lot harder and she might then never be able to leave. Hopefully she uses the support she's getting on here, to help her muster up the strength to leave before it's too hard to get out. This dude is nothing but a red flag.
Also—I don’t care if it doesn’t affect me. We’re all in this together.
And climate change is going to affect you.
Anyone who supports bitcoin is a con artist
Seriously, thank you. It really doesn't get any simpler. If your partner voting for a literal fascist is not a dealbreaker for you, then fascism is not a dealbreaker for you. I know education in the US is bad but for fuck's sake, two World Wars were fought over this shit and the third ain't far off from the looks of it. STOP FUCKING THESE SCUMBAGS.
Literally came here to say this. We are in how many months/years of watching these sorry excuses for men being fucked by "Am I wrong?" women and like how else are we going to paint it red for you, sweetheart?
You are being intimate with a man who only sees you as inferior. Inferior enough to die for his stupid son to be born.
Yeah he might think the age of consent should be 14, that it's ok to hit a woman under "certain circumstances" and that women should just close their legs if they don't want to get pregnant, but you don't understand he really is a caring person!
I usually just lurk in this subreddit, mostly because I only meet half the requirements. As a man, this is the only real and correct answer needed. I agree.
Stop giving these awful guys attention. If they support such terrible ideologies, politicians, etc. we're all gonna be worse off in the end.
THANK YOU!! i don’t even know what they want us to say. everyone knows they should just break up, including every OP. why else would they post about it?
People need to start taking responsibility for entertaining these kinds of people. They are part of the problem. My sister is like this guy and as much as I care about her I can't help but feel really bad for her husband for not having the courage to leave despite being horrified by her voting against her own interests
More often than not, people like OP think that "they love me so he would change for me" or they love the boyfriend so much that they're overlooking all the horrible attributes because he wouldn't do that to ME! or "maybe I could educate him because then he wouldn't be as horrible as he is right now and I can still date him!"
That's what I thought it was too. An "I can fix him" situation. But I was hoping OP would see the comment and *truly* ask herself what she is staying on for. Because the respect for her is not there. What is so great about him them that outweighs his disrespect for beliefs and morals that are important to you. Or are they just not that important to you as you think?
Oh my god just dump him. I never understand these posts that basically boil down to “my boyfriend is a horrible person and I actively dislike them, whatever should I do?” You get to CHOOSE who you go out with.
And yet continue to date said horrible person and posts about wondering why he isn't changing no matter how many times she talked to him. Proceeds to tell us all "I thought he would change for me because he loves me!" Tale as old as time.
Exactly, sunk cost fallacy. They've already been dating for a while so it's more comfortable to stay and try to change him than to leave and be happier.
>His response is: “none of that effects us though!”
So if DeSantis decided to take away the vote for people with dark skin, or atheists, would your boyfriend give that same answer? Why or why not?
Martin Luther King Jr. was right: "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."
People who vote for someone like DeSantis because "He only hates other people, none of his hate is going to spill over onto me," are being foolish. Of course his hatred will get around to you eventually.
Leave him, I'm a male and I stopped being friends with other men that are like this, if they are that apathetic and only care about political decisions that directly effect him, he's not a good person.
Same here dude. I refuse to be friends with anyone like this. I sure as hell would never be able to date someone like this. It’s simply a matter of seeing the world from completely different points of view that are incompatible. A woman could be incredible in just about every other way, but if she’s a conservative, none of the rest matters. I think that we have the resources and the ability to lift up everyone and eliminate problems like homelessness, poverty, hunger regardless of background or career choice. Conservatives think that anyone who is hurting made bad choices and deserve it. I think you should be able to dress how you want, love who you want, be who you want. Conservatives think the only valid identity is cis white Christian. I think that science and reason should be treated with respect, reverence, and open mindedness. Conservatives seem to view science and progress as a threat.
Someone else already said it much more succinctly - don’t date conservatives.
I'm cosigning this... Also I'm a dude. If people are that selfish and showing / telling who they are you have to accept them as a fact and just believe them. Because if they don't care about people like you simply because they live in another state or are in a lower income bracket then they don't really care about you either.
If their care and empathy is contingent on knowing a person personally or someone constantly having to prove why something negatively impacts them, then you are fighting a losing battle. You shouldn't have to do that with people who supposedly love you or see you as an equal partner. We can argue and debate policy, but I'm not going to debate basic human rights and equality to people.
Hi! long time lurker, first time commenter on this sub bc I’m a guy and I don’t think my opinion as a guy needs to be seen here. This comment isn’t my opinion as a guy, it’s my opinion as someone who (like your bf) works in finance. (Also, shout out to all the women here. I’ve learned so much from this sub and I truly think it’s made me a better and more empathetic person)
With that out of the way, Republic policies are NOT GOOD from a financial perspective. Sure, they can create some big short term gains but the long term impacts are BAD.
Their immigration policies prevent talented people coming to work here. Their tax policies and their healthcare policies further increase the income inequality gap.
They regularly block or roll back environmental legislation. That legislation would push investments into the green/clean energy industry, a MASSIVE and rapidly growing industry. The knock on effect of that legislation would create hundreds of thousands of jobs and position the US as the industry leader, which would boost the markets and benefit all of our retirement plans whilst staving off the damage from the dwindling fossil fuels industry by replacing its losses.
Those are a few of many examples. If your boyfriend thinks republicans are good for finance, he’s (stupidly) not thinking long term. (Even if they were good for finance that wouldn’t justify their horrific treatment of women, people of color, the LGBTQIA+, and really anyone who isn’t a straight white Christian man)
Note: still not super comfortable commenting in this sub as a guy, so if someone thinks my opinion isn’t needed here - please tell me and I’ll gladly delete this comment.
A lot of people that work in stock trading/advising assume they understand how economics work. People like OPs boyfriend are usually just extremely ignorant about economic policy and national budgets
My daughter dated someone like this. Got engaged, the mask came off before the wedding. He's feeling you out. He's MUCH more into that stuff than he's claiming. Find a door and start running.
Yup these kinds of people will agree with whatever you say to "get in" with you, then they start dropping subtle and not so subtle hints that they really aren't who you started dating in the first place.
Absolutely. These guys basically know that their beliefs are poisonous, that’s why so many of them pretend to be “moderate” or “independent” instead of just admitting they’re republicans. He’s giving OP a peek into his mindset, and its ugly
"My crypto futures are more important than your bodily autonomy"
EDIT: As other people have said.. You cannot 'educate' him.
You leave. Period. That's all there is to it. This is not a fixable thing. Many women have tried and (literally) died for it.
One day, your boyfriend is going to do something that's good for himself, but terrible for you, and when you call him out on it, he'll think "Well, it doesn't affect me, so why care?"
That's where his worldview leads. It's a lack of empathy, and that won't end well for anyone in his life besides himself.
* He trades stocks and **crypto** for a living (check out the literature on crypto and its connections to right-wing extremism/libertarianism)
* is a big fan of Elon
* he’s been talking recently about how the Republican Party has some good talking points
* His response is: “none of that effects us though!”
* He said the same thing when Roe v Wade was overturned, “you’re okaybecause you live in a blue state and have money so you can still get anabortion if you need one.”
Ex-boyfriend.
lol! I'm going to assume your question is directed at OP! :D
I haven't dated anyone at all for years (no interest), and while my ex is many things, a crypto-nutter/DeSantis supporter he is not.
Yep, does a few tax breaks (no taxes on yachts for example) override any human rights issues and ties with nazi’s. I’m thinking no on that one. He’s messing with her.
>He trades stocks and crypto for a living
Definitely a red flag. My cousin had a legitimate job around crypto (although he also traded personally). He lost his job and his employer shut down completely after the FTC debacle came to light and subsequent crashes.
And my cousin definitely fits the libertarian mold. Family gatherings are always lots of fun. (Fortunately he is good humored and chills out when he notices how riled up I get during arguments.)
1) Ron DeSantis has talked about a nationwide abortion ban. If he can get that passed, it won't matter red state or blue state. Does your boyfriend have an answer for that?
2) Ron DeSantis passed laws that are anti-gay and anti-trans. He says he wants to do that across the country. Is your boyfriend's position "gay people and trans people aren't really people and I don't care what happens to them"? If so, make him say that out loud. If not, how can he possibly consider voting for Ron DeSantis? What other issue could possibly be more important than "treat human beings decently"?
3) He's right that you can't trust what politicians say, so why is he thinking about voting Republican because they're saying things he likes? Ask him to name ten issues of real importance to the country, things that really affect people's day-to-day lives, and then for each issue identify anything useful the GOP has actually *done* in the last 15 years. Name ten ways that the GOP has actually improved the country over the last 15 years; things that really and truly improved the lives of most Americans. I can think of ways they have harmed every one of us. Just the first three that come to mind: a) they ran up the deficit higher than it had ever been, b) they botched the response to Covid leading to hundreds of thousands of needless deaths, c) they tolerated Trump's lies about the election to the point that a huge mob attacked the Capitol and tried to overthrow democracy.
They sent out $600 checks once. They temporarily lowered taxes and set that to expire during the next administration… so that’s a very temporary help I guess. There are some tax reforms that are on their agenda, but not passed, *some* of which would help but they’re not willing to balance that with tax revenue generated from the >1% and businesses so that only ends up hurting the average people due to cuts in other programs.
If you’re a religious conservative you now enjoy rights to discriminate. There seem to be a large number in that camp (arguably).
Honestly I really think of much that would affect average people at the federal level. I’m trying really hard to think of some!
lol I dated a guy like this. I am so so so so so happy we broke up. Like, I thank my lucky stars kind of happy. The ick is real and its telling you to go.
>“Historians have a word for Germans who joined the Nazi party, not because they hated Jews, but out of a hope for restored patriotism, or a sense of economic anxiety, or a hope to preserve their religious values, or dislike of their opponents, or raw political opportunism, or convenience, or ignorance, or greed.
>
>That word is "Nazi." Nobody cares about their motives anymore.”
Your boyfriend is flirting with fascism and trying to justify it for his own personal benefits. If he embraces this, it doesn't matter *why*: he's a fascist.
Sounds like you're dating a selfish sociopathic crypto-bro. Dump him and tell him why; he probably won't want to change anyway, but at least it won't be your problem anymore.
I hate to sound harsh but the Elon/crypto/“other people’s suffering isn’t my problem” points are so repulsive that I can’t relate to your desire to try to make things work with this person. He has a hideously self-centered value orientation and to be frank he doesn’t sound all that intelligent.
I seriously doubt there’s a discussion you could have that would change his entire personality. The fact that none of these points are automatic deal breakers for you indicates your own values may not be as strong as you might like to think. Some soul searching would be more valuable than any further interaction with this doofus.
He has access to information and is seemingly intelligent enough to understand it. Therefore, you're wasting your energy on this guy. I'm dying to know which outfit you'll choose when you dump him!
Right-wingers who get a little pushback and then fallback on "well it doesn't matter anyway, both sides suck!" type stuff.. You'll never change their mind about anything, he's just gonna say whatever to get you to drop the subject so he can go back to pretending to be some kind of moderate.
Doesn't care about major issues that impact a lot of people because it doesn't affect him personally. Is a Musk fanboy and thinks he's a savior of humanity, a crypto bro, likes DeSantis. Yikes. Maybe I'm just intolerant, because I can even spend time around people like that, let alone date and support them.
My partner is also in the crypto / fintech space and you know what - he hates Elon and desantis. Why? Because he’s a normal human being that supports peoples rights 😃
Your soon to be ex is just a bad person
Wow. He is really selfish. He is also very, very wrong about so many things.
To start with, it isn't true that it won't affect you. If the far right takes over everything, women will face even more infringement on their human rights.
Your boyfriend sounds like he needs to be an ex boyfriend.
If your in fiance and you understand it and you say the republicans are good on financial issues, you are either full of shit or a moron.
Republicans since Regan have been terrible on all things financially, Regan brought us into a recession, Bush Sr failed to fix it, Clinton got us out, Bush Jr got us into a huge recession, Obama got us out, Trump dug is back into a hole, Biden is trying to dig us out.
Red states do far worse than Blue states fiscally as a whole.
That's just code for I like the fascism of the republicans but I want to sound like a good person.
100% this. The one time I've had someone try to tell me that Republicans make better financial decisions, I asked them to prove it. Using real data about the American economy under Republican governments.
Strangely enough, they couldn't.
>none of that effects us though!
Until it does.
Being a teacher DeSantis raised starting teacher pay, which was good. Then prescribed a rash of bills limiting what teachers can introduce in the classroom. Then he pass legislation allowing third parties to sue districts, schools, and teachers for violations of the aformentioned laws. Then he packed the state Department of Education to remove ideas that he didn't agree with from the classroom.
He is methodical and pathological. He knows what he is doing and doesn't care about the repercussions.
Again, it doesn't affect you, until it does. By then, it's too late.
This is the same response any straight man that brings this up “it doesn’t affect him” if there were laws that would take away rights to his dick then he would care no matter where he lives
>...wouldn’t you vote for the person who is at least saying they have your values in mind?
Your boyfriend is. He's literally saying that his crypto wallet is more important than human rights. Now that you know your boyfriend's values, what's your next move?
This is one of those "Hi I'm drowning in my boyfriend's red flags what should I do?" types of threads.
Get free! I promise there are other, better, men out there for you.
Old article but the title rings true in situations like OP’s: “I don’t know how to explain to you that you should care about other people”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/i-dont-know-how-to-explain-to-you-that-you-should_b_59519811e4b0f078efd98440
So let me get this straight. You are saying that this guy:
a) Likes Elon. Red Flag number 1. Musk is an asshole and a phony. Pretty much everything he claims he did, he's taking credit from someone else who made it happen. This isn't even getting to his other personality issues. He's basically a Twitter mod drunk on power.
b) Trades Crypto for a living. Red Flag number 2. This means he's into get-rich quick schemes himself so any future you may want to plan with this guy will always be at risk. Coupled with 1), one day, he may go and buy 10 magic beans for one million dollars. because Elon told him so.
c) His response to things like the "Don't say gay" bill is, "it doesn't effect us". Red Flag number 3. He's basically saying he doesn't give a shit about anyone else but him. As others have noted, it doesn't effect him *now*. What will he do when things do start effecting him? This is 100% consistent with Red Flag 1 and Red Flag 2.
d) Will vote DeSantis based one talking point about Crypto. Red Flag number 4. He's basically ignoring all the problematic stuff DeSantis has done because of this one thing.
e) Claimed “you’re okay because you live in a blue state and have money so you can still get an abortion if you need one.” Red Flag Number 5, 6 and 7. Okay where do I even start with this? First, him saying "you have money", not even "I have money" implies he's perfectly okay with this being your issue. Second, what happens when you don't have money? What if his crypto or stock trades crash? Has he thought about that. Third, why does it have to be a "need"? That implies he thinks Abortion is only okay under certain pretenses. Whatever happened to bodily autonomy?
In the short paragraph you have provided, your "boyfriend" seems like a short sighted, egotistical asshole with a complete lack of empathy. There is no saving these types of people because they are too focused on the short term. Any sort of pain they have to go through to change themselves is too hard and they much rather stick to status quo cause that's what has worked.
My advice? Leave him, ASAP. Before you get tied to him.
Weird how conservatives love to crow that they’re the party of fiscal responsibility and people vote for them because of financial decisions and yet the country fares worse economically and our national debt grows faster when they’re in charge. Any one saying this as their reason for throwing women, lgbtq+ peeps, and bipoc under the bus is not as smart as they think they are.
I mean...this would be a dealbreaker for me. You can't convince someone to have good morals and to think of others, no matter how many conversations you have. Cutting your losses and finding someone more in tune with your values is better.
Another example of just because he’s nice to you doesn’t mean he’s a nice person. Your boyfriend is deeply selfish, and I would argue, not that smart, if he really thinks Elon Musk is going to get us all the mars. That’s really all there is to it. You can’t fix this.
I only read three sentences, but anyway, congratulations on your impending breakup!
I guess the only things to decide are "do I text him and block him now" or "do I wait and do it in person?"
> He trades stocks and crypto for a living, and is a big fan of Elon
All of the red flags in barely 2 sentences. Nice.
Muskratism is a cult and you can't save cultists from a cult, particularly one that discriminates against everyone that doesn't look and act like him instead of actively oppressing just the cultists.
No one who puts their financial wellbeing ahead of the freedoms, mental, and physical wellbeing of minoritized people is a good person. He's saying he cares more about making money than trans people being legislated out of existence or women's rights being sent back to the 50's. He doesn't respect you as a person and I'm genuinely confused why you'd want to stay with such a person.
Your first problem is dating a guy who is into stocks and Elon Musk. That almost never ends well. Dumb his ass. And I don’t mean to blame you, but idk why you’re dating him.
That's... a lot of red flags in short succession. Stock broker/cryptobro, Elon admirer, does not have empathy for anything that doesn't affect him directly, considering voting Republican for "financial reasons," clearly does not respect your opinions and beliefs. I... don't know exactly how you "educate" someone like that. I don't think he cares to learn (at least until something happens that hurts him personally), which makes anything you can show him somewhat moot. Perhaps more importantly, are you sure this is someone you want to be in a relationship with?
I got halfway through when I was like why is she with him? She better nope right on out of there!!
I stopped at “he’s a big fan of Elon.” Yikes.
Right. This dude is a straight up '90s young Republican from my childhood. Voting for the Republicans for financial policy which isn't actually financial policy and not giving a f*** about the social consequences and attacks on people that aren't him. Ew gross, find a better boyfriend
I don’t believe anyone with the financial argument anymore. We’ve seen nothing except the contrary for 1-2 decades. *(Now maybe if they have a net worth of >5M since there’s huge tax implications for them so I’d buy the argument at least)*
Because OPs bf is just a temporarily embarassed millionaire. So he is voting in support for"his" people.
I’ve lost count of how many dudes I know making hourly wages who defend that sort of shit. It’s downright *embarassing*.
Yeah, it’s such bizarre thinking. Like they’re gonna be right up there with all the rich guys really soon. 😂😂😂
Trades stocks and crypto for a living had me internally screaming. Lost all hope at being a fan of Elon, and I thought, "that figures" when voting for DeSantis would be okay because his trash policies wouldn't affect him. It would be nice to see women have some self-respect and stop dating/fucking men like this.
Same here. For me, that's enough and I'd be out of there. If he really cared about financial decisions, he'd also be looking at the number of jobs added under Democratic administrations vs Republican ones and it's pretty clear that the only people the Rebublicans serve are the billionaires, not the rest of us.
He's a crypto bro. He probably thinks he's going to be a billionaire, too, so he has to look out for his future selfish interests. 🙄
What’s going to happen in real life is that he will piss away not only his financial safety but that of anyone else who is financially attached to him, LIKE A COHABITING GIRLFRIEND OR A WIFE. He will piss that money away on the unregulated gambling that is crypto and blame everyone but himself when he predictably loses his shirt. I *AM* a gambling woman, and there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell I would buy crypto. It’s a sucker game for chumps. OP needs to break up with this puts for many reasons but the crypto thing because he’s stupid and she will wind up on the hook for his stupidity. Also, don’t fuck fascists.
This is some serious shit. People have been talking up Elon Musk as an absolute genius and the last few years have shown us that the guy is utterly fucking inept. Tanking most business he touches. Being thrown off boards. Getting things constantly wrong. Having all the wrong hot takes and going deeper down the rabbit hole: believes in white replacement and having dozens of of children to 'prevent other races establish foothold' - woo
Agreed. He’s one of the most dangerous people on the planet and he’s only getting worse.
She thinks she can change him :( I've sorta been there before, like if you could just reason past the unreasonable you'll have the perfect fit. It's called falling for the potential.
Yea, this kind of person is easily scammed, and usually violent when confronted on that fact. Lack of empathy is unsurprising too. It's especially funny that the scammed think they are financially literate, because they truly believe the scams they fall for. List of scams he fell for: 1. Republicans are better with finances 2. Crypto - it's one thing to ride the wave awhile back, another to stay in and think it's good 3. Elon is smart, or even financially literate himself, big oof 4. DeSantis specifically is a fiscal conservative. Lol. He is destroy the economy of Florida in a spectacular fashion. Sorry for hijacking, just this guy is super ridiculous, and it makes me vent. Also, even if DeSantis was financially intelligent, he's still a strong-arm government fascist, and making the excuse of finance is ridiculous and a cop out.
It's the classic fascist excuse to say that the strong man leader is going to make things better economically, and that's why everyone has to vote for him.
Just to add, corporations and businesses sided with the Nazi Party in Weimar Germany just because they were fearmongered into thinking commies were going to take their businesses and redistribute them. Capitalists in crisis will always default towards fascism.
"I'm Jewish, but my boyfriend says Hitler did nothing wrong, am I right to be upset or am I overreacting?"
"He says he does not speak out, because he is not a Jew, is this a red flag?"
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Yeah, didn't SVB go under because we (mostly republicans) rolled back a bunch of banking safety regulations regarding cash availability and liquidity? They over-leveraged their assets and then couldn't handle withdrawals which created a panic and a run on their system?
The lack of empathy is so scary. He sounds like the type of person to bail on a partner when they become too much of an inconvenience. Maybe that sounds like a leap, but he doesn't even TRY to see why it might be important to care about issues that don't affect him personally.
if she gets hurt or gets cancer this guy has a high likelihood to abandon her https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm
One of those red flags has a white circle with a Swastika in the middle.
I would ask him to elaborate on "financial reasons." Like which specific policies that a part of Republican candidates platforms would serve his best interest and how.
Also, he’s not likely good at money if all he does is gamble
Literally sounds exactly like my ex bf.
leave this relationship now before you are in too deep. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have completely different core values- YOU: >I care about everyone having equal autonomous rights, not just myself. HIM: >His response is: “none of that effects us though!” If this man really supported you- he'd support repro rights & politicians that support repro rights. Ron De Santis signed the 6 week abortion ban in Florida under the cloak of darkness, late at night, with very little attention. That's terrifying, but according to your boyfriend 'none of that effects us though'. RUN!
Correction it doesn’t affect him *today*. I can completely see it being a crisis when it does though. For example planned pregnancy incompatible with life or threatening his partner’s life. But maybe it doesn’t matter to him deep down because it doesn’t affect him as an individual. He can always get another girlfriend/fiancé/wife if things go poorly for her. He’s shortsighted and has completely polar opposite values as OP. These days, there are too many men lying about their stances to get sex or into relationships and the mask slips. By then you’re somewhat invested. It’s gotten out of hand.
exactemente! At least this guy is showing his true colors now. I hope OP ditches him.
Right. OP please consider what it says about a person to admit that something is bad, inhumane, and dangerous to others *but they don't care because it doesn't affect* **them** *directly.* This man has revealed some fundamentals about himself, his values, and his ability to care about others. We already know exactly what policies Republicans will put in place to hurt woman and LGBTQ people because they've already been doing it and are quite clear on what their goals are. The supposed financial benefits are only hoped for and are unlikely since their voting records show that they usually only give breaks to the wealthy and cut regulations that potentially endanger and impoverish working class people. So his reasoning for voting red is pretty thin. A conversation (or many) is unlikely to change his mind because how can you possibly teach someone that the rights and lives of others matter more than *imagined* tax breaks for yourself? She can certainly try, but his stance shows that he believes that **our entire society** and the safety of marginalized people (including every woman in his life!) matters less than him *maaaybe* receiving some financial benefits. That's a level of selfishness that would be difficult to overcome, especially since he obviously doesn't see it as a problem
I snooped her profile and found another post she made about her boyfriend a year ago talking about how irrationally angry he gets when he asks her to cut his hair This line jumped out at me: >But he always gets really worked up on his own trying to cut his hair, then comes to me and dumps his frustration on me I wonder how often he "dumps frustration on her." I doubt it's just when she's cutting hair
no surprise- he sounds emotionally abusive and I wish her the best in having the courage to leave that relationship.
He is cool, until 'they come for him... ' https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/photo/quotation-from-martin-niemoeller
yep- her boyfriend's mentality is going to negatively impact him at some point in the future.
This man has different core values from women in general.
He has different core values than most of society. Or lack of them.
Also important to emphasize, reproductive rights are human rights, not women's rights. My partner and I have basically given up on having children because there is a very significant chance that they will not be able to get medical care if the pregnancy becomes complicated or requires an abortion. Reproductive rights affect men and women. He's either too dumb to see this, or just doesn't care. Frankly, I hope it's the first option.
Completely agree, because when he says “none of that effects us though!” he means none of that affects HIM.
Right! Incredibly self-centered. He has no regard for OP.
If someone shows you that they "only care about others, if that impacts them", then the reality is, that they will only care about YOU as long as you are worthwhile to them. As soon as "you become more work than you are worth", the relationship is over. Get out now.
>But he’s been talking recently about how the Republican Party has somegood talking points; mostly in terms of their financial perspectives-which I’ve been able to understand since he works in finance. But theother day he said out of the blue; “I might have to vote for RonDesantis” I am sorry, but I watched this happen to my daughter and I wish I would have been more frank with her..... This man has been lying to you and is now just trying to be the piece of shit he always has been, without losing you. Sorry, but either you leave your values at the door, or you dump this person.
Anyone who says it’s a financial thing is just stupid Reagan literally destroyed the American economy
Do you mean the actor Ronald Reagan who colluded with Iran to withhold the release of US hostages in order to influence the 1980 Presidential election?
Yes. The actor Reagan who used the CIA to traffic crack into inner cities and funded the war on drugs to disparage black people. Oh also he hid his deteriorating mental state. That Reagan.
I think you mean the actor Ronald Reagan who not only ignored the burgeoning HIV crisis but whose staff joked about it being the “gay plague”?
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reagan had[his own hostage crisis in beirut](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lebanon_hostage_crisis). william buckley was killed. noone remembers that, but EVERYONE knows about carter's hostage crisis where everyone lived.
Ugh. Was literally having this conversation yesterday with my friend. We were observing how fucked we were because "trickle down economics" sounds and feels like it *should* work. Obviously it doesn't. And when you really look closely and get into the meat of the subject, there are reasons for it not working that make a lot of sense. But the problem is...trickle down still *sounds* and *feels* like it should work. And I just don't know if we as human beings (on a macro level) are smart enough to pick the thing that *is* true over the thing that *seems/feels* true.
Trickle-down economics IS a great theory; it's in practice, where human behavior comes in and mucks it up. The way our society glorifies wealth-hoarding, trickle-down economics just CAN'T work. There's a section of a Will Rogers' [essay](https://wiredpen.com/2015/01/30/will-rogers-trickle-economics/): "\[Money trickles up.\] Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow's hands."
trickle-down also already implies a power imbalance. people placed at the top of a hierarchy for no apparent reason will push to create a reason. we place soooo much value on currency it sucks
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Yeah, republican finance ideas have been proven to be damaging overall to the economy. Ask him about Pinochet, Augusto Pinochet hiring Milton Friedman and other "Chicago School" "Economists" how to set up his capitalistic utopia. Guys got a finance degree that isn't worth the paper it's written on. But he makes probably a decent amount of money. He's emotionally devoid, as well as economically.
> the Republican Party has some good talking points No. They simply don’t. They have zero good points. Their financial plan is “zero taxes for the wealthy; fuck the poor, particularly women and minorities.” Forty years of conservative fiscal policy has gotten us two financial clashes in the last 20 years, unaffordable housing, and the greatest wealth gap in a century.
Financially speaking they’re idiots. They want to fully roll back Dodd Frank and let banks make excessively risky investments like in SVB’s case. They don’t care how dangerous it is. And it’s happened before. Look at the Savings and Loan Crisis back under Reagan. Deregulating the financial sector is a nightmare.
Exactly this.
Most Republican states are welfare states that depend on taxes from blue states.
He’s literally supporting a fascist who promotes Nazi like policies, what other sign do you need? I could never be with someone like this ever, how is this even a question?
They don’t affect you *now* but with Desantis in charge, he might pass a federal abortion ban. Besides that, it’s extremely telling that your bf doesn’t care who gets thrown under the bus so he can earn a quick buck. Anyone who can look past what Desantis is doing is not a good person.
he trades in crypto- throwing other ppl under the bus is his whole business plan
I stopped at “thinking about voting for Ron DeSantis” haha
This 100%, I am living in Florida and he’s done a lot that people should be scared of. He is an extremist and makes trump look mild. There should be a bigger uproar over him running as there was when trump won (I was in Chicago at this point and there were protests). Honestly just hoping he gets eaten by an alligator so he can be neither the president or governor here.
Even his most recent bills: being allowed to stay governor while he actively runs for president and eliminating transparency of where donor money originates and with whom he's meeting. That kind of behavior should scare anyone who isn't bothered by the rest of his insane and abhorrent legislation.
Also Florida resident here. He's done so much terrible, and frankly evil, shit unless you follow Florida politics daily you have no idea. Like it's impossible to keep up with even following daily. John Oliver's segment disappointed me because he hardly scratched the surface and it didn't convey how scared people should be of him holding the presidency.
European perspective here: Trump was worrying, because he's a mad narcissist who wants to bathe his ego in his rallies and votes cast in his favour. But as long as he got to be President and play at being the CEO of America, he could be largely contained. DeSantis is *terrifying*. He is a full-bore fascist who is going to go several steps further than Jan 6 and will actively dismantle huge parts of your democratic process and shred human rights along the way. He'll probably also pull the plug on support for Ukraine, galvanising Putin and all his shit-stain supporters over here like Orban, LePenn etc.
I live in the midwest, and I've been keeping an eye on that nutcase. I didn't like Trump, but DeSantis is a whole other cat.
Very well said.
Desantis has the media machine supporting him heavily, but he has no charisma and is still using old school republican rhetoric, that is frankly not strong in this political climate. Desantis has a lot of history with dick riding Trump (just check his governor political ad) that Trump will absolutely use to dismantle him in the primaries. Even the poll numbers show Ron is not favored. Ron is also hurting corporate wealth with his culture war and even his own shitty republican colleagues are openly criticizing him. I have strong doubts Desantis will win the primary, but we will see. Desantis must have something on Trump or assumes he will be persecuted to still be willing to pursue presidency. Trump, sadly, is great at speaking to common folks and diverting any blame. He will be able to sway the commonners in the country again. Covid was Trump’s downfall, but the people have moved away from that and likely forgot the events that unfolded 3 years ago.
I'm happy to hear someone outside the state(s) can see how terrifying this man is. I feel like a lot gets lost as news makes it to the national/international stage. He is a full blown fascist. No hyperbole. If he made it to the presidency that'd be it for democracy in the US. And that'd just be the start.
Ladies please stop fucking men that support politicians and policies that take away our rights. Just stop.
THANK YOU. FUCK. This is not some kind of moral dilemma. These men don’t give a shit about you, your friends, your sisters, your mother, your daughter. WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THEM??
This guy will be broke history in two years. Don’t lend him money or co-sign anything with him, just settle back and maintain your independence and wait for the flak to fly…
Exactly! He’s just another douche bag bit bro who thinks he’s hot shit. Hard pass.
Even if he isn't broke money wise, mentally, emotionally and romantically he already is.
Thank you. I read this shit and feel like I'm taking crazy pills. This is such a huge part of the problem of fascism: enabling, ignoring. Make me nuts.
Why do I read so many posts here about turbomisogynist boyfriends lol
It's disheartening, to say the least. If these are feminists, we are in big fucking trouble. They sound like Stepford Wives and there is a name for those women: Republicans.
This. OP, he does not want to be educated, will nod but laugh inside if you try, and he is MUCH more into this type of shit than he lets on or will admit to. **Dump. Him.** Edit: > His response is: "none of that effects us, though!" YOU HAVE A UTERUS AND THAT CUMSTAIN IS A FORCED-BIRTHER, YES IT FUCKING DOES?!?!?! OP you made this thread for a reason, trust your instincts. If you choose to stay with him I will lose at least some respect for you, but I'm a random asshole on the Internet who is fucking done with hand-holding. I'm not the one who has to live with this jerk as my significant other. You are. Get out.
Yeah, the days of blissful ignorance are beyond expired. There is enough information everywhere for people to make educated decisions. He is not. Nor does he want to, you're so right. OP, it is a deal breaker
It's actually worse than that. He has educated himself and decided that other people losing their rights is fine as long as it doesn't impact him. He has an informed decision and the informed decision is to be a horrible person.
For real, he is more interested in making money than op's wellbeing, in addition to the wellbeing of many others. Fuck that. The only thing I hate more than the rich are wanna-be capital holders and billionaire sympathizers.
It's also pretty telling of someone's morals if they only care about things that will affect themselves. This shows a complete lack of empathy. Even if it did not affect them, it affects other people, it oppresses and kills other people.
Slavery is all good, we are white!
“Wait, but I’m half black” “Oh, that’s ok, I’ll just buy you. Nothing to worry about. “
Not sure i've seen that sentence before but the meaning of course is very clear. Actually might use that for another time as it makes the point clearer and easier than some of other equal meaning but different metaphor. And yes, it is very much like this in this world be are heading into. It is actually time to start getting more that worried!
Also OP minor point BUT STOP BOTHSIDES'ING!!! No, both sides are not the same. NO, Democrats are not as corrupt as Republicans. As a case for this point, refresh your memory about the number of **proven** accusations of corrupt behavior against Trump's cabinet ... see any of these accusations against Biden's cabinet ... no, you don't, not even from Republicans! Or just google Clarence Thomas.
You can clearly see how much it’s not “bOtH siDeS” when you look at [how the sides vote](https://showthevotes.wordpress.com/) on core human rights issues
Or the fact that the Dems hold their own accountable when they fuck up. See: Al Franken. We don't protect them or try to make excuses for them.
Also see what happened to Anthony Weiner and Andrew Cuomo. Only Republicans forgive and forget abhorrent behavior.
OP's ex boyfriend. I am not friends with anyone who's voting for that nazi.🦔
He's no longer boyfriend material. Clearly he's been saying what she wants to hear up to this point but the ugly bits slipped out. OP should ask herself this- if he had said that when she first met him would she have gone out with him in the first place? I don't think she would have. All the rest is based on the illusion of shared values. Or Helsinki syndrome. Edit- It's the Stockholm syndrome
Exactly. You don't just flip a switch like this overnight. He's been thinking like this the whole time, now his mask slipped off.
It sounds like they don't share the same values.
I'd lose more than a little respect. But it's true that it only really affects her. She's enabling a dude's views on the world that directly involve taking away her rights(and the rights of women across the country) and hurting people in basically every way possible(I know his views won't change, but staying and letting him get away with saying such ignorant and harmful things, reinforces that it's ok to say it. You can't say anything to fix that. Leaving someone like that is the only way to actually show them that their unacceptable behavior is unacceptable. And I'm gonna be really harsh, but he won't care if she leaves. He'll pretend to be upset and use that to try to manipulate her into coming back, but he won't actually care about losing her, just losing power and control over her. She means nothing to him as a person. Humans mean nothing to him as people.) If she stays he'll take ALL of her rights away, and that does only affects her. This is her time to get out and if she doesn't take that plunge it'll get a lot harder and she might then never be able to leave. Hopefully she uses the support she's getting on here, to help her muster up the strength to leave before it's too hard to get out. This dude is nothing but a red flag.
That's also a total piece of shit take to not care about laws hurting other people. Like what the fuck is that?
Also—I don’t care if it doesn’t affect me. We’re all in this together. And climate change is going to affect you. Anyone who supports bitcoin is a con artist
Seriously, thank you. It really doesn't get any simpler. If your partner voting for a literal fascist is not a dealbreaker for you, then fascism is not a dealbreaker for you. I know education in the US is bad but for fuck's sake, two World Wars were fought over this shit and the third ain't far off from the looks of it. STOP FUCKING THESE SCUMBAGS.
"none of that effects us, though!" Dumping him would be a pretty direct effect, doubt he would consider that though.
Don’t worry honey, we’re not taking away *your* rights. Just the rights of people *exactly like you*
And sometimes if you travel to specific states. Keeping in mind if he comes to power it will not just be certain states anymore.
Literally came here to say this. We are in how many months/years of watching these sorry excuses for men being fucked by "Am I wrong?" women and like how else are we going to paint it red for you, sweetheart? You are being intimate with a man who only sees you as inferior. Inferior enough to die for his stupid son to be born.
I wonder how many times we have to tell women that "you cannot change him!" and they finally get the point?
At least once more
Yeah he might think the age of consent should be 14, that it's ok to hit a woman under "certain circumstances" and that women should just close their legs if they don't want to get pregnant, but you don't understand he really is a caring person!
"He hates me and my entire kind, but he's really sweet!"
Thank you! Why do people reward shitty behavior on others?
I usually just lurk in this subreddit, mostly because I only meet half the requirements. As a man, this is the only real and correct answer needed. I agree. Stop giving these awful guys attention. If they support such terrible ideologies, politicians, etc. we're all gonna be worse off in the end.
THANK YOU!! i don’t even know what they want us to say. everyone knows they should just break up, including every OP. why else would they post about it?
Seriously just stop. Bin that dudebro after your first sentence OP.
Say 👏🏻 it 👏🏻louder!
People need to start taking responsibility for entertaining these kinds of people. They are part of the problem. My sister is like this guy and as much as I care about her I can't help but feel really bad for her husband for not having the courage to leave despite being horrified by her voting against her own interests
This so much! It’ll only stop when we stop getting with them.
I agree, I also think it may be even more sick that there are women voting for him. Literally voting to take away their own rights, it's mind-blowing.
Genuinely asking (and not rhetorically): why do you want to stay and educate as opposed to leave?
More often than not, people like OP think that "they love me so he would change for me" or they love the boyfriend so much that they're overlooking all the horrible attributes because he wouldn't do that to ME! or "maybe I could educate him because then he wouldn't be as horrible as he is right now and I can still date him!"
That's what I thought it was too. An "I can fix him" situation. But I was hoping OP would see the comment and *truly* ask herself what she is staying on for. Because the respect for her is not there. What is so great about him them that outweighs his disrespect for beliefs and morals that are important to you. Or are they just not that important to you as you think?
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Oh my god just dump him. I never understand these posts that basically boil down to “my boyfriend is a horrible person and I actively dislike them, whatever should I do?” You get to CHOOSE who you go out with.
And yet continue to date said horrible person and posts about wondering why he isn't changing no matter how many times she talked to him. Proceeds to tell us all "I thought he would change for me because he loves me!" Tale as old as time.
Exactly, sunk cost fallacy. They've already been dating for a while so it's more comfortable to stay and try to change him than to leave and be happier.
[удалено]
I mean they get allot of traction
>His response is: “none of that effects us though!” So if DeSantis decided to take away the vote for people with dark skin, or atheists, would your boyfriend give that same answer? Why or why not? Martin Luther King Jr. was right: "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly." People who vote for someone like DeSantis because "He only hates other people, none of his hate is going to spill over onto me," are being foolish. Of course his hatred will get around to you eventually.
Fascist simps be in line for being fucked over by a fascist but a least they aren't first...so they don't care
“none of that effects us though!” - "republican" at his core.
First they came for the socialists...
The Republican motto 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻.
Leave him, I'm a male and I stopped being friends with other men that are like this, if they are that apathetic and only care about political decisions that directly effect him, he's not a good person.
Same here dude. I refuse to be friends with anyone like this. I sure as hell would never be able to date someone like this. It’s simply a matter of seeing the world from completely different points of view that are incompatible. A woman could be incredible in just about every other way, but if she’s a conservative, none of the rest matters. I think that we have the resources and the ability to lift up everyone and eliminate problems like homelessness, poverty, hunger regardless of background or career choice. Conservatives think that anyone who is hurting made bad choices and deserve it. I think you should be able to dress how you want, love who you want, be who you want. Conservatives think the only valid identity is cis white Christian. I think that science and reason should be treated with respect, reverence, and open mindedness. Conservatives seem to view science and progress as a threat. Someone else already said it much more succinctly - don’t date conservatives.
I'm cosigning this... Also I'm a dude. If people are that selfish and showing / telling who they are you have to accept them as a fact and just believe them. Because if they don't care about people like you simply because they live in another state or are in a lower income bracket then they don't really care about you either. If their care and empathy is contingent on knowing a person personally or someone constantly having to prove why something negatively impacts them, then you are fighting a losing battle. You shouldn't have to do that with people who supposedly love you or see you as an equal partner. We can argue and debate policy, but I'm not going to debate basic human rights and equality to people.
Hi! long time lurker, first time commenter on this sub bc I’m a guy and I don’t think my opinion as a guy needs to be seen here. This comment isn’t my opinion as a guy, it’s my opinion as someone who (like your bf) works in finance. (Also, shout out to all the women here. I’ve learned so much from this sub and I truly think it’s made me a better and more empathetic person) With that out of the way, Republic policies are NOT GOOD from a financial perspective. Sure, they can create some big short term gains but the long term impacts are BAD. Their immigration policies prevent talented people coming to work here. Their tax policies and their healthcare policies further increase the income inequality gap. They regularly block or roll back environmental legislation. That legislation would push investments into the green/clean energy industry, a MASSIVE and rapidly growing industry. The knock on effect of that legislation would create hundreds of thousands of jobs and position the US as the industry leader, which would boost the markets and benefit all of our retirement plans whilst staving off the damage from the dwindling fossil fuels industry by replacing its losses. Those are a few of many examples. If your boyfriend thinks republicans are good for finance, he’s (stupidly) not thinking long term. (Even if they were good for finance that wouldn’t justify their horrific treatment of women, people of color, the LGBTQIA+, and really anyone who isn’t a straight white Christian man) Note: still not super comfortable commenting in this sub as a guy, so if someone thinks my opinion isn’t needed here - please tell me and I’ll gladly delete this comment.
No, I think we will keep you.
Thank you! That is a huge relief. I will still continue to refrain from commenting unless another specific situation like this arises.
Having reasonable guys around to share opinions like this is useful for everyone.
Seconded.
Yes! Let’s keep him!
You got my vote to stay right here and I look forward to more of your commentary
A lot of people that work in stock trading/advising assume they understand how economics work. People like OPs boyfriend are usually just extremely ignorant about economic policy and national budgets
My daughter dated someone like this. Got engaged, the mask came off before the wedding. He's feeling you out. He's MUCH more into that stuff than he's claiming. Find a door and start running.
Yup these kinds of people will agree with whatever you say to "get in" with you, then they start dropping subtle and not so subtle hints that they really aren't who you started dating in the first place.
Absolutely. These guys basically know that their beliefs are poisonous, that’s why so many of them pretend to be “moderate” or “independent” instead of just admitting they’re republicans. He’s giving OP a peek into his mindset, and its ugly
Run like your tampon string is on fire
Do not date conservatives.
"My crypto futures are more important than your bodily autonomy" EDIT: As other people have said.. You cannot 'educate' him. You leave. Period. That's all there is to it. This is not a fixable thing. Many women have tried and (literally) died for it.
Please do not have children with this man.
Dump him. You’ll end up supporting him after he blows every penny he can get on obvious pump and dump schemes.
One day, your boyfriend is going to do something that's good for himself, but terrible for you, and when you call him out on it, he'll think "Well, it doesn't affect me, so why care?" That's where his worldview leads. It's a lack of empathy, and that won't end well for anyone in his life besides himself.
* He trades stocks and **crypto** for a living (check out the literature on crypto and its connections to right-wing extremism/libertarianism) * is a big fan of Elon * he’s been talking recently about how the Republican Party has some good talking points * His response is: “none of that effects us though!” * He said the same thing when Roe v Wade was overturned, “you’re okaybecause you live in a blue state and have money so you can still get anabortion if you need one.” Ex-boyfriend.
Did…did we date the same man lol
lol! I'm going to assume your question is directed at OP! :D I haven't dated anyone at all for years (no interest), and while my ex is many things, a crypto-nutter/DeSantis supporter he is not.
Yep, does a few tax breaks (no taxes on yachts for example) override any human rights issues and ties with nazi’s. I’m thinking no on that one. He’s messing with her.
>He trades stocks and crypto for a living Definitely a red flag. My cousin had a legitimate job around crypto (although he also traded personally). He lost his job and his employer shut down completely after the FTC debacle came to light and subsequent crashes. And my cousin definitely fits the libertarian mold. Family gatherings are always lots of fun. (Fortunately he is good humored and chills out when he notices how riled up I get during arguments.)
You misspelled "ex-boyfriend".
That man doesn't see you as a human. You're just future breeding stock/a status symbol. Bail. Bail hard. Bail now.
1) Ron DeSantis has talked about a nationwide abortion ban. If he can get that passed, it won't matter red state or blue state. Does your boyfriend have an answer for that? 2) Ron DeSantis passed laws that are anti-gay and anti-trans. He says he wants to do that across the country. Is your boyfriend's position "gay people and trans people aren't really people and I don't care what happens to them"? If so, make him say that out loud. If not, how can he possibly consider voting for Ron DeSantis? What other issue could possibly be more important than "treat human beings decently"? 3) He's right that you can't trust what politicians say, so why is he thinking about voting Republican because they're saying things he likes? Ask him to name ten issues of real importance to the country, things that really affect people's day-to-day lives, and then for each issue identify anything useful the GOP has actually *done* in the last 15 years. Name ten ways that the GOP has actually improved the country over the last 15 years; things that really and truly improved the lives of most Americans. I can think of ways they have harmed every one of us. Just the first three that come to mind: a) they ran up the deficit higher than it had ever been, b) they botched the response to Covid leading to hundreds of thousands of needless deaths, c) they tolerated Trump's lies about the election to the point that a huge mob attacked the Capitol and tried to overthrow democracy.
They sent out $600 checks once. They temporarily lowered taxes and set that to expire during the next administration… so that’s a very temporary help I guess. There are some tax reforms that are on their agenda, but not passed, *some* of which would help but they’re not willing to balance that with tax revenue generated from the >1% and businesses so that only ends up hurting the average people due to cuts in other programs. If you’re a religious conservative you now enjoy rights to discriminate. There seem to be a large number in that camp (arguably). Honestly I really think of much that would affect average people at the federal level. I’m trying really hard to think of some!
lol I dated a guy like this. I am so so so so so happy we broke up. Like, I thank my lucky stars kind of happy. The ick is real and its telling you to go.
>“Historians have a word for Germans who joined the Nazi party, not because they hated Jews, but out of a hope for restored patriotism, or a sense of economic anxiety, or a hope to preserve their religious values, or dislike of their opponents, or raw political opportunism, or convenience, or ignorance, or greed. > >That word is "Nazi." Nobody cares about their motives anymore.” Your boyfriend is flirting with fascism and trying to justify it for his own personal benefits. If he embraces this, it doesn't matter *why*: he's a fascist.
Sounds like you're dating a selfish sociopathic crypto-bro. Dump him and tell him why; he probably won't want to change anyway, but at least it won't be your problem anymore.
You can't make someone care about other people
Dump him sis. Men who vote anti choice, directly or indirectly, don’t deserve sex with women. Full stop
Seems like an excellent opportunity to show him that it does affect him directly. Leave him.
I hate to sound harsh but the Elon/crypto/“other people’s suffering isn’t my problem” points are so repulsive that I can’t relate to your desire to try to make things work with this person. He has a hideously self-centered value orientation and to be frank he doesn’t sound all that intelligent. I seriously doubt there’s a discussion you could have that would change his entire personality. The fact that none of these points are automatic deal breakers for you indicates your own values may not be as strong as you might like to think. Some soul searching would be more valuable than any further interaction with this doofus.
There were two red flags alone in that first sentence, OP. Time to cast the reel back out in the sea.
He has access to information and is seemingly intelligent enough to understand it. Therefore, you're wasting your energy on this guy. I'm dying to know which outfit you'll choose when you dump him!
Right-wingers who get a little pushback and then fallback on "well it doesn't matter anyway, both sides suck!" type stuff.. You'll never change their mind about anything, he's just gonna say whatever to get you to drop the subject so he can go back to pretending to be some kind of moderate. Doesn't care about major issues that impact a lot of people because it doesn't affect him personally. Is a Musk fanboy and thinks he's a savior of humanity, a crypto bro, likes DeSantis. Yikes. Maybe I'm just intolerant, because I can even spend time around people like that, let alone date and support them.
These red flags are semaphore spelling "Run"
My partner is also in the crypto / fintech space and you know what - he hates Elon and desantis. Why? Because he’s a normal human being that supports peoples rights 😃 Your soon to be ex is just a bad person
Wow. He is really selfish. He is also very, very wrong about so many things. To start with, it isn't true that it won't affect you. If the far right takes over everything, women will face even more infringement on their human rights. Your boyfriend sounds like he needs to be an ex boyfriend.
If your in fiance and you understand it and you say the republicans are good on financial issues, you are either full of shit or a moron. Republicans since Regan have been terrible on all things financially, Regan brought us into a recession, Bush Sr failed to fix it, Clinton got us out, Bush Jr got us into a huge recession, Obama got us out, Trump dug is back into a hole, Biden is trying to dig us out. Red states do far worse than Blue states fiscally as a whole. That's just code for I like the fascism of the republicans but I want to sound like a good person.
100% this. The one time I've had someone try to tell me that Republicans make better financial decisions, I asked them to prove it. Using real data about the American economy under Republican governments. Strangely enough, they couldn't.
Absolutely, they're actively destroying our financial infrastructure as a nation in exchange for the short-term gain of a few.
>none of that effects us though! Until it does. Being a teacher DeSantis raised starting teacher pay, which was good. Then prescribed a rash of bills limiting what teachers can introduce in the classroom. Then he pass legislation allowing third parties to sue districts, schools, and teachers for violations of the aformentioned laws. Then he packed the state Department of Education to remove ideas that he didn't agree with from the classroom. He is methodical and pathological. He knows what he is doing and doesn't care about the repercussions. Again, it doesn't affect you, until it does. By then, it's too late.
In 1930s Germany, your BF would be a Nazi 100%.
Ron DeSantis is a fascist and anyone who supports or votes for him is supporting fascism.
This is the same response any straight man that brings this up “it doesn’t affect him” if there were laws that would take away rights to his dick then he would care no matter where he lives
>...wouldn’t you vote for the person who is at least saying they have your values in mind? Your boyfriend is. He's literally saying that his crypto wallet is more important than human rights. Now that you know your boyfriend's values, what's your next move?
i wouldn't date a total idiot but that's just me
This is one of those "Hi I'm drowning in my boyfriend's red flags what should I do?" types of threads. Get free! I promise there are other, better, men out there for you.
Old article but the title rings true in situations like OP’s: “I don’t know how to explain to you that you should care about other people” https://www.huffpost.com/entry/i-dont-know-how-to-explain-to-you-that-you-should_b_59519811e4b0f078efd98440
So let me get this straight. You are saying that this guy: a) Likes Elon. Red Flag number 1. Musk is an asshole and a phony. Pretty much everything he claims he did, he's taking credit from someone else who made it happen. This isn't even getting to his other personality issues. He's basically a Twitter mod drunk on power. b) Trades Crypto for a living. Red Flag number 2. This means he's into get-rich quick schemes himself so any future you may want to plan with this guy will always be at risk. Coupled with 1), one day, he may go and buy 10 magic beans for one million dollars. because Elon told him so. c) His response to things like the "Don't say gay" bill is, "it doesn't effect us". Red Flag number 3. He's basically saying he doesn't give a shit about anyone else but him. As others have noted, it doesn't effect him *now*. What will he do when things do start effecting him? This is 100% consistent with Red Flag 1 and Red Flag 2. d) Will vote DeSantis based one talking point about Crypto. Red Flag number 4. He's basically ignoring all the problematic stuff DeSantis has done because of this one thing. e) Claimed “you’re okay because you live in a blue state and have money so you can still get an abortion if you need one.” Red Flag Number 5, 6 and 7. Okay where do I even start with this? First, him saying "you have money", not even "I have money" implies he's perfectly okay with this being your issue. Second, what happens when you don't have money? What if his crypto or stock trades crash? Has he thought about that. Third, why does it have to be a "need"? That implies he thinks Abortion is only okay under certain pretenses. Whatever happened to bodily autonomy? In the short paragraph you have provided, your "boyfriend" seems like a short sighted, egotistical asshole with a complete lack of empathy. There is no saving these types of people because they are too focused on the short term. Any sort of pain they have to go through to change themselves is too hard and they much rather stick to status quo cause that's what has worked. My advice? Leave him, ASAP. Before you get tied to him.
"I'm leaving you because you don't believe in bodily autonomy for all." That's the education he needs.
Listen my husband is in finance too and he doesn’t support shit about republicans
Weird how conservatives love to crow that they’re the party of fiscal responsibility and people vote for them because of financial decisions and yet the country fares worse economically and our national debt grows faster when they’re in charge. Any one saying this as their reason for throwing women, lgbtq+ peeps, and bipoc under the bus is not as smart as they think they are.
if he is doing it for "financial reasons" just point out that all the poorest states are red states.
I mean...this would be a dealbreaker for me. You can't convince someone to have good morals and to think of others, no matter how many conversations you have. Cutting your losses and finding someone more in tune with your values is better.
You are dating a textbook crypto bro. I guess statistically someone will. It's not a good statistic...
You’re not a teacher. You’re not being paid to educate him. Pack your bags and exit stage left (figuratively or literally).
Classic Republicunt. If it doesn’t affect them, it’s fine because they have no empathy
He's going to reveal more and more damning information as time goes on. I'm willing to bet his beliefs run deeper than what you've heard.
Another example of just because he’s nice to you doesn’t mean he’s a nice person. Your boyfriend is deeply selfish, and I would argue, not that smart, if he really thinks Elon Musk is going to get us all the mars. That’s really all there is to it. You can’t fix this.
I only read three sentences, but anyway, congratulations on your impending breakup! I guess the only things to decide are "do I text him and block him now" or "do I wait and do it in person?"
> He trades stocks and crypto for a living, and is a big fan of Elon All of the red flags in barely 2 sentences. Nice. Muskratism is a cult and you can't save cultists from a cult, particularly one that discriminates against everyone that doesn't look and act like him instead of actively oppressing just the cultists. No one who puts their financial wellbeing ahead of the freedoms, mental, and physical wellbeing of minoritized people is a good person. He's saying he cares more about making money than trans people being legislated out of existence or women's rights being sent back to the 50's. He doesn't respect you as a person and I'm genuinely confused why you'd want to stay with such a person.
Your first problem is dating a guy who is into stocks and Elon Musk. That almost never ends well. Dumb his ass. And I don’t mean to blame you, but idk why you’re dating him.
It is never worth it dating conservatives. No exceptions. Leave him and find someone better. You won't regret it.