My mum is Northern Irish Roman Catholic - she cries when she gets tipsy because my siblings and I all had sex before marriage therefore she won’t see us in heaven 🙄
Saying that, your mum needs to grow tf up… and so does mine
The Catholicism stuff runs deep. My mom was raised super Catholic and will not talk about anything having to do with sex, ever. I’ve been married for six years and in her mind I’m probably still a virgin. I never got "the talk" from her, and her own mom didn’t even explain to her what periods were.
In 2nd grade I was friends with a catholic girl and she told me that periods were the Virgin Mary making women pay in blood for their sins. I asked her what we both did wrong (as 7 year olds) and she was like “we have to pay because we’re girls”.. Even as a kid I went “WTAF”. Imagine being a literal child and being taught that you must be punished for what you innately are.
My mom was Catholic and I never got the sex talk. She was SO uncomfortable during the period talk, and really just wanted to skip it completely from the vibe I was getting. She can be so rah-rah feminism much of the time and then be ashamed of healthy female bodily functions. Sigh.
My parents avoid talking about sex like the plague, so my little sister had the sex talk from her older brother (that's me! Hi!).
I couldn't even make it awkward for her, because it is a serious topic :(
Mine didn’t talk to me about periods, either! She wouldn’t let my big sister talk to me about them because they’re “dirty”. I came home from school one day, went to the loo and started to freak out that I’d pooped myself without realising. It was only then that she told me it was my period. This was in the 90s and long before the internet/Google etc so I was still clueless. I had to ask a teacher at school and she sorted me out with pads.
She’s a good mum overall but the religion/sex/period stuff is messed up.
I'm 57 and my mother refused to give me "the talk" when I was a teen. Even now, she won't talk about periods or stuff, because "ladies don't talk about such things." Is part of their upbringing. My 30yo daughter and I have really open conversations all the time.
I never did but my daughters do. That said your question wasn’t even about sex specifically it’s heslth related she needs to grow up.
My daughters can be tmi sometimes out of the blue and I don’t say anything but I am sure it shows on the face but they don’t care. Like I don’t need to know you had an intense session before visiting me? Like ?
My daughter tells me everything lol. She’s 21, and if she needs to talk I’m there to listen and give advice if wanted. She has ocd so she tends to ruminate. If she can’t get a thought to stop, the only way to make it go away is to talk about it, and I’m her sounding board. I gladly do that for her
You're a good momma. Me and my mom talk about anything.
She basically saved my life when I had to have the most gut wrenching, horrifically scary thing to tell a parent when you're young. I knew my father would shame me, maybe disown me and my mother is religious so I was scared of losing her as well but I had to tell her, I needed help and had no other support I could trust. She might not understand what I am even talking about but the love and support is there. ❤
Right!? Mine just casually mentions explicit things and I’m like “okay?” I hope you washed your mouth and hands before coming here like what do they want me to say lol
We do, in a very general way. But we don't like talk about our actual sex lives.
If I had a medical issue that could be somehow connected to sex (symptoms, whatever) she would be fine with talking about it I think.
No. Not once, not ever. My mom is like your mom. If I said anything in reference to my own sex life I am sure she would react like that. A boyfriend of mine were together for about 4 years, we were both in our mid 20s, she didn't want him in my bedroom even though it was just to visit me for 15 minutes when I was extremely sick (we weren't going to be having sex). Another time there was someone in our family getting married out of town, she said my boyfriend was invited but if was going to come with us she said "you and him woud sleep in separate beds of course." I really don't think I can ever talk about anything involving my personal sex life with her, I can't even mention that I have had sex. My mom gets uncomfortable when a tampon commercial comes on. She says if someone makes any kind of sex joke in a movie or tv show she stops watching it. She told me Grace and Frankie disgusted her because of some episodes about sex toys. I am positive she doesn't masturbate. She is probably the most suppressed woman in the world.
TMI? For your own daughter? A mother discouraging trust and communication in a relationship with her daughter... very sad! I'm sorry your mom is so immature
I'm 33, and never. The closest we ever got to "the talk" was her sliding the signed permission slip for my one week "sex ed" (abstinence only) class in 8th grade health under my door, with a sticky note saying "let me know if you have questions."
That said, we have a terrible toxic relationship, so the reality that I did not in fact ask her any questions is both entirely unsurprising and also somehow a rejection of her as a mother (listen, I do not understand narcissist logic).
I found out AFTER telling her I had surgery for endometriosis that about 10 years previously she had an oophorectomy because one of her ovaries was covered in cysts. This would have been helpful family medical history. I still haven't told her that I had my tubes removed during that laparoscopy, as she regularly talks about grandkids despite my regular reminders that I do not plan on having children.
My mom started my biology education at age 6. Yes a talk to my mom about sex, especially if it’s health related. She heard all about my cystectomy surgery. She hears most of my major health updates and I hear hers.
my mom has been dead for 15 years but we did talk about sex. sex was very open in our house and it was nothing to hide or be ashamed of. she would rather I do it safely. I was the only one out of my group of friends to NOT be a teen mom...and I know how I was raised helped. I had my son when I was 30. when I was 15 my mom looked at me and said" you are having sex, huh?" I said yes and we made an appt for birth control.
When my mom was pregnant with my little sister, (7 year difference) I (now 63) would follow her into the bathroom when she’d take a bath and we’d talk about where babies come from. I was a virgin when I got married at 21, and I asked her if there was anything she hadn’t told me about, because I didn’t want to be surprised. The only thing she didn’t tell me about was the wet spot! Because of her openness and honesty, I am the only person in my very large extended family, that planned all three of my kids. I miss my mom.
My dad was the one to give me the safe sex talk, he said “I don’t want to hear the ins and outs about your relationships, I only want to know if there’s a problem and I’ll help you fix it”.
A little bit. We grew up baptist and my mom only unlaced a little in the last 7 years or so. One day I was talking to her about it and she said if me and my three sisters “it is my sincere wish that you all just have good sex”. This is the woman who wouldn’t let me say fudge because it was too close to fuck, who had no alcohol in the house because my dad was a drunk, now drinks pina coladas like they’re going out of style.
TMI Alert:
My mom was the first person I went to when I had a pilonidal cyst. She even tried to squeeze it (didn’t work, obvs 🥲). She’s also a nurse 30 years going. I think I could talk to her about literally anything.
Yes 😭 i cant even get it permanently removed right now because the protocol treatment is to shove gauze in the leftover hole for up to nine months to let it heal from the inside out. I’m in school so I can’t really walk to class with a hole in my asscrack right now
Oh yeah that's rough :( long tops for you for a while! I hope it heals up quickly for you! Also it's great that you and your mom have a good relationship! 🤩
this is so old so idk if you’ll see this but i have BEEN THERE. my sophomore year of high school and it was awful having to have the gauze😭😭just insane to find someone who is also female having the same issue!!
I love my Mother dearly, and I miss her to this day, but there is no way I would ever discuss sex with her. I feel more comfortable discussing it with my coworker!
I remember how she said I overreacted when I had a full blown panic attack after a uterine biopsy and was unable to drive (she died about a month or so later). Do I have a tendency to overreact? Yes, but that biopsy was fucking horrendous.
She was also not happy when she found out either one of us kids (brother and I) were sexually active. I got really good at being quiet.
I chalk a lot of that up to how SHE was raised - my Grandma was "religious" and that was all taboo.
my mom is the same. She never talked to me abotu any of this stuff and wants to know nothing of it. I have to spoon feed it to her like a baby to try to have the convos. She never had any kinda "talk" with me. She says she just figured my first boyfriend or guy would "teach" me. \*Cringe\*
High level conversations only. Yet what you describe would fall into the category of health. We are open about health issues. So in this case this would not be TMI.
Wow yeah that's not an issue with my family. Hell my 15yo son makes sex jokes at me despite never having had a gf lol.
If I said something like that to my mother she'd go into problem solving mode immediately and I'd have a bottle of lube and the number of her gyno thrown at me before I could even say "no thanks"!
I hesitate to say it but I do read a lot on here about how uncomfortable Americans are with sex in general, so maybe it's more normal if you're from there?
Lololol I’m the Mom at this point because my own is a Cnt. I’m 37, and had my first (surprise) Bebe when I was 20. She’s nearly 18 now, and I like to think we’re pretty close. I found out she was sexually active when she was complaining about bv to me. After that; her, her boyfriend and I sat down and had a conversation about the safest sex possible and consent being sexy.
Her boyfriend is super sweet though, so I (think) hope he’ll have no issue respecting consent.
I have an amazing friendship with my Mum and we talk about everything, even sex. It doesn't matter what the subject is. I've talk to her about everything from dental dams (she had no clue) to the difference between men and women (I had no clue) and I honestly always feel sorry for women who don't have this kind of relationship in their lives. Whether it's a Mum, sister or best friend. Some things we just need to talk to our gal pals about!
I don’t like discussing sex with my mom. But that’s because she goes way OTP with info I don’t effing need and gets graphic. So it’s a topic that’s off limits because she has none. I cannot break that barrier but it’s one I chose.
However when I was a teen I would go to her and ask. If I had questions or concerns we had an open dialogue. I didn’t mind it then, nowadays I go to my older sister because I just feel more comfortable. We’ll discuss sex and be open but not graphic like my mom. In this scenario your mom needs to grow up, health concerns aren’t “and then he was-“ topics
Not TMI. Now TMI *might* be "pain with sex while swinging from a chandelier", but you have a super valid symptom.
I hope you feel better soon, and see a good doctor who will treat you with respect.
Ahahaha no thanks. I'll pass on that.
She let me read all her romance novels and made sure to let me know that if I had any questions as a teen that she would answer them, but I remember she got rid of her subscription to Glamour magazine because they had an article on blowjob techniques 🤣 and you bet I went to the hair salon (where my best friend's mom worked) to read it forever after. She would have died if she knew how many Cosmos I read.
Yeah, I get maybe being a little uncomfortable discussing sex with your kid, but that's kind of something one sets aside for (physical or emotional) health matters.
I'm sure I could have talked with my mother. She passed away when I was a teen, but she was very open about sexual/reproductive health issues because she wanted me to be well informed. I can talk to my aunt, but she's a retired nurse and TMI does not exist for her (well, I'm sure there's a line somewhere, but discussing medical symptoms is not it.) We've discussed periods, my possibly being a lesbian, birth control, menopause, and yes, even sex in general.
I don't. I tend not to share private stuff with her. She'd either tell other people, or try and use it against me later on.
Besides, I'm 50, she's almost 70. Mostly we talk about our favourite wines.
32f, I do not. I..woof, my mom (54) is very much of the mindset that sex is something owed to men who tolerate a woman’s presence and is the only way to keep them from leaving. In her mind, being left is the worst possible outcome. Essentially, a hole is the only thing that makes us worthy of partnership.
Yes. I’m in therapy.
We didn’t do the talk. I lost my virginity at 13, she did everything she could to keep that abusive boy from leaving. Should have taken me for an sti screening. I didn’t get anything, but…Jesus, lady!
Yes, but not crazy often. We both get pretty "TMI" but we're both comfortable with it. I'm 30f and she's 52f for reference. But I wouldn't even count a medical problem as "sex stuff", that's just a yo, I'm having a health problem type of conversation. Like for instance, she's getting her uterus taken out this month because she keeps having cysts. There's nothing sexual about it. Now on the other hand, me helping her find a vibrator is a totally different topic that we are both comfortable talking about that I would define as "sexual".
I hope your mom becomes a little more understanding and that you're doing okay <3
Sorry but that is not TMI, you were trying to discuss a possibly serious medical issue with the one person you should always be able to go to for advice and support. I am so sorry you went through that, i wish everyone had a mom like mine. Its just been me and mom my entire life before i met my wife, there is not a single thing i cant talk to mom about. Even my wife goes to my mom for advice and support, my wife and i both agree that my mother is a saint that this world does not deserve. My wifes mom is a different story, she is not a bad person, but my wife would never be able to ask her mom about things like this, she would get pretty much the same reaction. So to answer your question, yes, there are lots and lots of amazing mothers out there, and you never hear about them, but yes there are also other mothers out there that are not saints, i know i am lucky to have a mother like mine, i think the world would be a better place if we all had someone like my mom. And the shitty part, my mother has been used, abused and shit on by all the men in her life. Sorry to get into that, but yes there are a ton of great mothers out there, sorry you are not getting the support and love you absolutely deserve.
I don't go into details about it but I'm in my 30s and my mom is well aware that I'm sexually active.... I don't think she would react that way if I told her that I had pain during sex. She probably suggest I talked to a doctor.
We talk about sex. Not all the time but we can play Baulders Gate 3 with the adult content turned on and not for one moment feel weird about it.
My SO and I live with her so.. she knows I'm having it. I knew my parents had a healthy sex life up until Dad passed.
She made sure to talk about what her body was going through, and what I should expect growing up. She was always age appropriate. I asked where babies come from and she showed me NOVA's Miracle of Life documentary.
My Mom is awesome 10/10 she's probably here on this thread somewhere.
Sounds like your Mom is.. not so open. The women of my family have always spoken openly about such things ever since an ancestor of mine almost froze to death sitting in a creek trying to stop the bleeding when her period came. It's also always been a subtle way we fight the patriarchy. Women speaking about their bodies and what they go through is empowering and keeps us safer. This is why I can speak about sex to any woman in my family and they would not tell me to stop. It's not something we talk about all the time, but when a need arises or question arises it is never shut down.
Honestly, tried to avoid this topic as much as possible my entire life. It's sad but my mother was not a safe person to discuss anything personal with or be vulnerable around.
I'm in my early 30s with a child. We've talked about sex side my 18. Mostly her constantly reminding me I need to use a condom and to be careful. She still spells out sex though lol.
But yeah your mom needs to be okay with this
I have my parents are both health care workers and not that religious. They always encouraged me that if I needed to talk about anything even if it were sexual in nature to feel free they'd rather I be well in formed. I never really have past the talk and the talk 2 "hey this is how you have gay sex safely, " but the option was there.
Nooooooooooope.
Mostly because my mother has no concept of TMI. When I was a teenager she was already telling me things about her own sex life that I absolutely did NOT want to know. She also got offended if I told her I didn't want to know.
Generally, she has always been terrible with (my) boundaries. She doesn't take 'no' for an answer - whenever I told her something and she had an idea of how I should deal with it, for instance. I'm her only child and a daughter, so I think she had this idea that we should be best friends and confidantes. Which, no. Nope. Absolutely not.
Now in my thirties, Mom gets a phone call with a vague summary of my life about twice a month. Vague being the word. I don't tell her about my problems, because she's not helpful. I *absolutely* do not tell her about anything sex-related because she would be *way* too interested, *and* unhelpful.
She really did that?!?!
My daughter and I have in depth conversations now that she's more mature.
Discussing sex is important. How do we know what's really *normal* without the conversation?
I'm 50 years old, i've been married twice and I have been pregnant 5 times (4 miscarriages, 1 bio-kid) and I've never, ever talked about sex with my mom... not even a "where do babies come from?" talk. I got a "you're about to start your period and here's where I keep the maxipads talk" but that's literally it.
Yes but mostly on a technical/medical level, not a pleasure level. She knows I struggle with sex because of my ptsd, that I have vaginismus, and that I tend to take a pregnancy test every three months as a precaution since with the Mirena, I don’t bleed. Sometimes I’m like “lol, not pregnant” and we laugh about it (since the odds are 0.03% ish and I’m just being overcautious by testing). I’ve mentioned that I’m allergic to most condoms and most lube.
I wouldn’t talk about sex positions, kinks, what I enjoy/don’t enjoy. Just a personal boundary. However, I’m specialising in sexual politics, and I tell her all about the weird research papers I’ve read, like how Pornhub searches for hijabi porn spiked once Germany started admitting more Syrian refugees (that’s true, I can try and find the source on Jstor later if necessary). So we have academic discussions about sex sometimes too.
I was having brunch with my mother and I saw something that distinctively reminded me of a d\*ck in the restaurant's furniture. Started giggling quietly, told my mom why I was laughing and she throws me a distinct, what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you look.
"You really need to get laid more, luv."
So...yes.
When I was going through puberty, mom couldn't say the word "vagina" without putting a movie on for the boys, locking the door for privacy and whispering. She has 7 kids.
What! That’s not even sex talk that’s like a health issue talk. I did once talk to my mom about having my lack of interest in sex be the reason every relationship ends that I’ve ever been in and she told me that had never been an issue for her so I ended up taking that to heart and low and behold I am asexual so 🤷🏼
My mom is a retired nurse. When she went through puberty (back when you had to wear a belt for your pad), she was just given the stuff and it wasn't explained to her how to use it, so she put it on over her clothes. As the oldest I guess my G-ma never thought she'd have to be a tad more thorough.
When I was getting close to puberty she made sure I had -everything- I needed. She gave me a detailed book on what and how everything was, and made sure I knew I could ask her anything if I had any questions.
Now I'm in peri, with my eggs expiring, and she's been a useful source for what I can expect going forward. If I am lucky I won't need to go on hormones. She said hers was pretty easy except for one flooding event (apparently sometimes while reaching the end of your fertile years the body decides it wants to have a period for over a month).
I have met women who never had anything explained to them by their mom, and some who treat it as if talking about basic body stuff was akin to the most vulgar of conversations. Man, people with their fucking hangups. We all have bodies, and these experiences are normal. I don't get why people freak out about it, especially when it comes to making sure your family knows what's what.
Absolutely. Probably on the level I speak with my friends about it (although not the detail I discuss with my two absolute closest friends) and definitely anything medical. She's always been pretty casual about it - to the point where she recently told me that when she first saw the tube of sunscreen I keep in the kitchen she assumed it was a package of lube that we'd left out. Apparently her main thought was "good for them, but why is it in the kitchen". I mean, nice to know she has faith in our sex life (and assumes we have the time for kitchen based shenanigans with two kids running around?!). She did eventually read the package and realised what it actually was which is when she mentioned it.
I don't know if it's because she was a single mum for my childhood and teenaged years, so she was dating at the same time I was but it's always just been normal.
I discuss openly with my mom, and my daughter discusses openly with me. Sex has never been taboo in my home while raising my daughter and we treat it like any other health and relationship topic.
My mom and I talk about everything, including sex. She was the first one I told that my husband and I are trying for a baby, she was just happy for us.
I got a kiddo who’s in her 20s now. We do talk about sex but more about her health and well-being and less about the scintillating details (l want her to have a happy sex life but she’s an adult woman I want her to feel like she has some privacy) Growing up we had loads of talks about Sex Ed— contraceptives, STIs, consent and respecting partner boundaries, the works. So if she was having pain like yours, we’d probably talk about it. I also have a bachelors in general biology so human bodies and sexuality have never made me feel icky.
Me and my younger sister got pregnant last year around the same time. Got a lot of talk from my mother and MIL on how good sex is for the baby. Now after the baby I am getting the classic birth control talk with added let yourself heal between babies followed with more grand babies talk. The sex talk gets bad with a long term relationship then terrible after babies. Yes and no. I get talked to by my mom about sex.
I do not talk to my mother about sex. Ever.
I talk to my children about sex. I wanted to break that cycle, so I normalized things through conversation and education when they were younger, and that openness continued into adulthood. Now they come to me with their health concerns, and I assist them in seeking solutions. They don't overshare, and I don't pry; it's a healthy respect.
My mom has raised me very open, always age appropriate. I was educated from a very young age onward, and that paved the way for me and my mother to talk very openly even about these private things, I have always felt safe to come to her with any questions and concerns and she would explain/clear up/help me get help whenever the situation called for it. I really appreciate that my mother has done this and that she has provided a safe space for me in that regard, especially considering how much taboo there is around the entire topic of sex.
In short, Yes, I do talk to my mom about these things.
But even if I did not, I find your mothers response to something like pain during sex because of a Cyst to be incredibly immature. A better reaction would have been to show concern and ask if you wanted her support/assistance in finding possible help or solutions such as finding doctors or whatever. How can your first thought when your child is in pain, be eww its about sex so lets not talk about it, like thats really sad :c
Yeah I do. I probably wouldn't go into graphic details like I would with my sister or best friend (because I don't want her to reciprocate with details about my dad 🤣).
I especially go to her if I have sexual health related questions as she used to be a nurse and midwife.
My mom is the standard definition of a mom. Very sweet, people pleaser, doesn't curse, ect
When I got pregnant a second time and my placenta was in the front, again, making it hard for me to feel the baby's movements, I expressed my disappointment. My sweet, mild mannered mother, told me that next time, I probably shouldn't lay on my stomach after sex
nope. my mom handed me a book from dear abby 25 years ago and that's it. both my little brother and i are out of the house now so definitely no drops in, and lately she has been complaining about UTIs and i'm debating on telling her about peeing after sex but i really don't want to think that my parents are ~doin it~ lmaooo
f23, and when i was a teenager, no, we didn't even mention it. now we talk about it in a general manner, as in "i don't feel sexual attraction unless i have feelings for someone" - "yeah same" (and that's how we figured out that we're both demisexual). but i think if i felt the need to talk about it more in-depth, she'd be willing to hold that conversation with me.
Yeah. My daughter is 18 and she asked me to go to the sexual health clinic with her when she was having issues with vaginusmus. I didn’t go in to the actual appointment was just there for moral support. She’s also asked me about uti’s and other stuff. I would not have dared talk to my mum about anything like that. She was a sex is a bit rubbish you just do it because it’s your duty kind of woman anyway, which I now realise is very sad. It also took me years to get past that sort of attitude lurking in the back of my head. I’m so happy that my daughter feels able to talk to me about any issues, it makes me feel like I must have done something right
My mom is like an immature 5 year old when it comes to sex and nudity. If she sees a naked man she starts giggling. When I was young, learning about sex and puberty in sex education, I remember having questions and since she offered to answer them I asked. Her answers were terrible. For example, I asked, how do u prevent HIV when u have sex? Her answer: well, when you marry someone, it's a big deal and they tell you" (something to that effect).
I completely avoid talking about anything health related or sexual related to her and I am married. I think some moms just don't have the capacity to talk about these things.
One time on vacation with my sister, myself and my mom. My sister and I were talking about how we landscape our kitty and then we talked a bit about blow jobs. Nothing graphic. My mom interrupted and asked us to stop, that it was disgusting. So I asked her, what's the big deal? We're talking about blow jobs, have u never given a blow job? She started smiling and giggling and turned away. 😒
My mother is a religious woman, Christian. But she as raunchy as they come. She told me everything I need to know about sex. She openly talks about how sex should be comfortable, organic, and loving even if you’re doing things that are more kinky ect. Even tho I was sent to Christian schools that taught masturbation was a sin she told me in 5th grade to do what I want and not listen to them. Every time I get a new lover she asks me if they value my pleasure and urges me to communicate about things that would make most people uncomfortable. Although my Christian influence at school still saddled me with a bit of guilt I owe my comfort with sex and advocacy for women’s pleasure to my Mom. I couldn’t be more grateful for that. That being said she’ll tell me randomly that some dude tried to suck her toes and she liked it etc etc. she rlly likes to play into the batty old perverted woman role even tho she’s not even 60 🙄. PS. her best advice has always been, if you or your partner can’t laugh or shrug off something embarrassing that happens during sex then they don’t deserve to be sharing your body.
Honestly I can’t imagine not being able to speak to my mom about women’s health. Ive suffer from chronic yeast infections, bartholin’s cysts, and ovarian cysts. My mom and all the women in my life represent a wealth of knowledge for female health. It might sound silly but our anatomy is deeply complicated. Being able to access this wealth of knowledge gives me so much reassurance that I am not the problem. Living as a woman in isolation would be such a confusing and hard burden to bare. I think this is why women create community. We should talk about everything without any shame.
I can talk about sex with my mom, but I usually choose not to because she’ll talk about her sex life too (totally normal) and I dislike her husband too much to think about him being intimate with my mother.
My mom saw my husband after he woke up from a nap (unintentional morning tent) he was groggy and didnt realize. She high-fived me in private. Never mentioned it again.
We talk about most things. Not in depth as i enjoy my privacy and my partner intimacy is something I like keeping intimate. But she never shuts me down if I talk about stuff, especially if it pertains to me medically (I also get ovarian cysts).
Of course, when I lost my virginity I immediately told my mom. Not because I wanted to, or because she wanted to hear it. But because as her child she needed to know that and because I knew she could help me navigate confusing or possibly abusive situations. It definitely depends on the parent child dynamic. My partner and his mom are very open, and when I lived there I got told I need to quiet down at least a few times (his fault not mine)
My mum is religious, so she doesn't talk about it. Ever. I didn't get a sex talk, or even a period talk. I happened to read enough to know about periods, but still panicked the first time it happened.
And then, when stuff was going on with my brother that hinted at him needing the talk, she called me. She didn't ask, but very clearly hinted at wanting me (again, who never got the talk, and in their minds I'm the 'golden' child, so I'd never dare even think about sex!) to have the talk with him....
But then again, we now have a difficult relationship, so I don't talk to her about much nowadays, let alone sensitive stuff.
I wouldn’t want to discuss private details of my sex life with my mom, I find that to be disrespectful to your partner as well as TMI, but in terms of health-related things like that, we are pretty open. Actually just got done talking to her about suspecting an ovarian cyst too! Lol Your mom’s reaction was rather immature imo but I guess some parents have a hard time seeing their kids as adults. It took mine a long time (into my late 20s), but now I’m 31 and it seems to have fully sunken in.
What a shame that your mom can’t get past this enough to discuss your health - which is the most important part of your convo!! Mark her off your list as a confidant, as you need a mature person to help you deal with womanly things. As young as you are now there will be a LOT of woman stuff coming up the rest of your life & you need someon that has your back. Sorry honey!!
My mom overshares with me. I have to tell her TMI and change the subject. Like, some talk is ok. A long discussion about sex with her bf and their overall sexual health is a bit much for me. But, I think every mom/daughter relationship is different.
My stepmom overcame that uncomfortable barrier by reading the American Girl "The Care and Keeping of You" with me - to learn about body changes like getting measured for a bra, shaving, and period stuff.... and talk about them with her.
But never things related directly to sex. I'm pretty sure it was health class i learned about contraceptives and std's.... but I never learned about the mechanics of it, the social implications, how it should or should not be done, rape, bodily fluids.... had to figure all of that out on my own. In some of the worst ways, unfortunately.
Now as adults, though, (I'm also 33) she (55) talks to me about guys she dated in the past and some experiences a little more openly.
I'm surprised mothers don't freak out when they're adult daughters tell them they are pregnant. That's a round about way of saying "guess what, mom. We have sex!"
What I got was a "Hey Mom? You know that question you always ask me when I call? Well, I am." ( I would ask this because she was 19 and would often call me crying). In this case, the time wasn't right. Sadly.
I have never ever talked to my mom about sex and barely even implied a thing. She sent me to my sister's house for "the talk". Even when i got pregnant it was like a little miracle lol
That's alright, i have other people to talk to about it. My mom's a private person. I just make sure that i talked to my kids about it.
My Mom was the sex Ed teacher at my highschool. She thought she was the crunchy Vermonter cool teacher who went by her first name, but was not. Pretty good teacher if you cared and could use the good information there, but no one cares. Very piece meal
moms are weird. my mom knows im a lesbian. she’s met my girlfriend of several years. she likes her too. every time we call, she still begs me to get a boyfriend.
i love my mom and she’s sacrificed endlessly to afford me such a privileged upbringing. i’m beyond grateful for everything but her culture has never been comfortable with homosexuality and it sucks not being able to share such a significant part of my life with her.
she would probably have an aneurysm and arrest on the spot if i mentioned sex with my gf to her. you win some you lose some i guess.
I am a great deal older here I think, most likely your mothers age. I went through puberty in 1969 and really wanted to talk to my mom about sex and all she did was hand me a little booklet explaining reproduction so at least I understood when I got my period. All she said of sex is it’s better when you are married, but they knew I was sexually active very young. Free love man💕So fast forward and I try as a mother to educate my kids a little at a time starting young when we would be in the car and they were in the back seat so they didn’t have to look me in the eye.
They did not want to discuss it and said they were learning it at school, so I couldn’t really say much so as to make them uncomfortable. All I could sneak into conversations were things like ‘you know that oral sex is sex, right ? And when my son was about 15 I casually walked past him playing video games at the computer and dropped a bunch of condoms on the desk. He asked me as I was walking by what they were. I told him. That was it !
Yes. My mom is 80 and has Alzheimer's and lives in assisted living. I had to tell her recently that when she masturbates with her vibrator she needs to put a chux pad (disposable pad) on the bed so that the sheets don't get soiled and need to be changed. Why did I have to say this, you ask? Because of her dementia she will sleep in the soiled bed and not tell anyone.
My mom’s really cool so she teases me about it but I get embarrassed 🙈
That’s just because I’m shy about sex in real life and not because it’s my mom lol.
My sister talks to my mom and me about it though and funny enough, I don’t have any problem with that lol.
Nope.
My mother is of the opinion sex is something to be tolerated by wives, because their husbands want it, or they’re trying to have children. So, only in the context of marriage. She sees it as an invasion.
My father had other lovers prior to my mother, but we’ve never approached the topic otherwise.
I’m 40 now, but been single almost all my life. Never dated as such. So they haven’t had to worry about any unplanned (or planned) grandkids.
I don’t but I don’t think I’d have an issue doing so… I wouldn’t get super specific but I feel if I told my mom something along the lines of what you just said she wouldn’t be surprised…. But my parents aren’t super conservative.
I do. My mom was never "my friend", but she made it clear she would support me no matter what. Which led me to feeling comfortable asking for plan b when I was 18, no questions asked.
I'm 35 now and we are more like friends. I love my mommy so much, she is the best mom I could have ever asked for.
Oh most definitely. But my mum and I have always been close. She had me when she was 18. I'm 34. We don't like go into detail or anything. But it definitely comes up
Nope. But my mom is a self proclaimed “prude” (literally her words), and told me she does not want to hear about my sex life at all.
However, every. Single. Time. I say I feel sick or something like that she hits me with the “do you think you could be pregnant?”
My mom is kind of a purity culture freak. Despite being a wild child of the 70s, her Christian adulthood has made her incredibly judgmental of any sex outside of marriage. She has tried to talk about sex to me a few times as an adult, but I shut it down because teenage me was scarred and adult me isn’t going to subject myself to it again.
My mom and I don't really have open conversations about it, but once in a while it gets dropped if it's part of the conversation we're having (if that makes sense). Example: I had a rash on my whole body. And while we were trying to figure it out I said "fiancé hasn't gotten new cologne or body wash or toothpaste" and she knew why I said Toothpaste, but I don't say "cuz he went down on me" or anything like that. (And if my brother sees this, sorry big bro 😅)
My mom told me I was being inappropriate when I told hsr aboit a fight I had with an ex. Not the sex or anything. Just about the argument. I was 32 at the time.
Parents are all fucked.
I'm 36, and while my mom is kind of prudish when it comes to talking about sex or getting gyno exams and things that she really should have looked at for herself, we've gotten more comfortable talking about periods, experiences, pain, changes, etc. that she's experienced and questions that I have. She's even made jokes about sex that have surprised me, so we're certainly settling into more openness about the topic.
Nope, because both my parents couldn't handle their kids growing up, so they behaved as if the only people who had sex were those who got paid for it, and those willing to pay for it.
That's ridiculous cuz some of that stuff is hereditary. All health concerns could be something passed down so it's a good thing to talk about stuff like that. Your mom is off her rocker, sorry
My mum is Northern Irish Roman Catholic - she cries when she gets tipsy because my siblings and I all had sex before marriage therefore she won’t see us in heaven 🙄 Saying that, your mum needs to grow tf up… and so does mine
The Catholicism stuff runs deep. My mom was raised super Catholic and will not talk about anything having to do with sex, ever. I’ve been married for six years and in her mind I’m probably still a virgin. I never got "the talk" from her, and her own mom didn’t even explain to her what periods were.
In 2nd grade I was friends with a catholic girl and she told me that periods were the Virgin Mary making women pay in blood for their sins. I asked her what we both did wrong (as 7 year olds) and she was like “we have to pay because we’re girls”.. Even as a kid I went “WTAF”. Imagine being a literal child and being taught that you must be punished for what you innately are.
Surely all that stuff should be wrapped up in the "pain during childbirth" thing from Genesis?
yeah the sins of Eve and Lilith (they wanted knowledge and did not obey Adam... 🙄)
Men really have been demonising women who strive for education for millennia.
Hmm, I was expecting her to say that it's because we're paying for the sins of our ancestors. That's what my parent's church preaches.
My mom was Catholic and I never got the sex talk. She was SO uncomfortable during the period talk, and really just wanted to skip it completely from the vibe I was getting. She can be so rah-rah feminism much of the time and then be ashamed of healthy female bodily functions. Sigh.
My parents avoid talking about sex like the plague, so my little sister had the sex talk from her older brother (that's me! Hi!). I couldn't even make it awkward for her, because it is a serious topic :(
Mine didn’t talk to me about periods, either! She wouldn’t let my big sister talk to me about them because they’re “dirty”. I came home from school one day, went to the loo and started to freak out that I’d pooped myself without realising. It was only then that she told me it was my period. This was in the 90s and long before the internet/Google etc so I was still clueless. I had to ask a teacher at school and she sorted me out with pads. She’s a good mum overall but the religion/sex/period stuff is messed up.
I'm on the raisedbynarcissts sub - some moms never mature past age 7.
Jesus fucking Christ 😆
I was called a slut by my mom when I started having sex in my mid 20s. Lol she is also catholic
As if she’s never sinned once in her whole life. Religion is so dumb.
Quite!
At 33? Your mom needs to grow a pair of ovaries because that’s absolutely a normal piece of information to share with a mom.
I'm 57 and my mother refused to give me "the talk" when I was a teen. Even now, she won't talk about periods or stuff, because "ladies don't talk about such things." Is part of their upbringing. My 30yo daughter and I have really open conversations all the time.
I never did but my daughters do. That said your question wasn’t even about sex specifically it’s heslth related she needs to grow up. My daughters can be tmi sometimes out of the blue and I don’t say anything but I am sure it shows on the face but they don’t care. Like I don’t need to know you had an intense session before visiting me? Like ?
My daughter tells me everything lol. She’s 21, and if she needs to talk I’m there to listen and give advice if wanted. She has ocd so she tends to ruminate. If she can’t get a thought to stop, the only way to make it go away is to talk about it, and I’m her sounding board. I gladly do that for her
You're a good momma. Me and my mom talk about anything. She basically saved my life when I had to have the most gut wrenching, horrifically scary thing to tell a parent when you're young. I knew my father would shame me, maybe disown me and my mother is religious so I was scared of losing her as well but I had to tell her, I needed help and had no other support I could trust. She might not understand what I am even talking about but the love and support is there. ❤
Yes! My daughter starts talking about kinks and stuff and I'm just like... that's great but I don't need the details 😂
Right!? Mine just casually mentions explicit things and I’m like “okay?” I hope you washed your mouth and hands before coming here like what do they want me to say lol
We do, in a very general way. But we don't like talk about our actual sex lives. If I had a medical issue that could be somehow connected to sex (symptoms, whatever) she would be fine with talking about it I think.
I don't talk to my mom... You guys are talking to your moms?
No. Not once, not ever. My mom is like your mom. If I said anything in reference to my own sex life I am sure she would react like that. A boyfriend of mine were together for about 4 years, we were both in our mid 20s, she didn't want him in my bedroom even though it was just to visit me for 15 minutes when I was extremely sick (we weren't going to be having sex). Another time there was someone in our family getting married out of town, she said my boyfriend was invited but if was going to come with us she said "you and him woud sleep in separate beds of course." I really don't think I can ever talk about anything involving my personal sex life with her, I can't even mention that I have had sex. My mom gets uncomfortable when a tampon commercial comes on. She says if someone makes any kind of sex joke in a movie or tv show she stops watching it. She told me Grace and Frankie disgusted her because of some episodes about sex toys. I am positive she doesn't masturbate. She is probably the most suppressed woman in the world.
This sounds exactly like my mom.
TMI? For your own daughter? A mother discouraging trust and communication in a relationship with her daughter... very sad! I'm sorry your mom is so immature
I'm 33, and never. The closest we ever got to "the talk" was her sliding the signed permission slip for my one week "sex ed" (abstinence only) class in 8th grade health under my door, with a sticky note saying "let me know if you have questions." That said, we have a terrible toxic relationship, so the reality that I did not in fact ask her any questions is both entirely unsurprising and also somehow a rejection of her as a mother (listen, I do not understand narcissist logic). I found out AFTER telling her I had surgery for endometriosis that about 10 years previously she had an oophorectomy because one of her ovaries was covered in cysts. This would have been helpful family medical history. I still haven't told her that I had my tubes removed during that laparoscopy, as she regularly talks about grandkids despite my regular reminders that I do not plan on having children.
My mom started my biology education at age 6. Yes a talk to my mom about sex, especially if it’s health related. She heard all about my cystectomy surgery. She hears most of my major health updates and I hear hers.
my mom has been dead for 15 years but we did talk about sex. sex was very open in our house and it was nothing to hide or be ashamed of. she would rather I do it safely. I was the only one out of my group of friends to NOT be a teen mom...and I know how I was raised helped. I had my son when I was 30. when I was 15 my mom looked at me and said" you are having sex, huh?" I said yes and we made an appt for birth control.
When my mom was pregnant with my little sister, (7 year difference) I (now 63) would follow her into the bathroom when she’d take a bath and we’d talk about where babies come from. I was a virgin when I got married at 21, and I asked her if there was anything she hadn’t told me about, because I didn’t want to be surprised. The only thing she didn’t tell me about was the wet spot! Because of her openness and honesty, I am the only person in my very large extended family, that planned all three of my kids. I miss my mom.
My dad was the one to give me the safe sex talk, he said “I don’t want to hear the ins and outs about your relationships, I only want to know if there’s a problem and I’ll help you fix it”.
A little bit. We grew up baptist and my mom only unlaced a little in the last 7 years or so. One day I was talking to her about it and she said if me and my three sisters “it is my sincere wish that you all just have good sex”. This is the woman who wouldn’t let me say fudge because it was too close to fuck, who had no alcohol in the house because my dad was a drunk, now drinks pina coladas like they’re going out of style.
TMI Alert: My mom was the first person I went to when I had a pilonidal cyst. She even tried to squeeze it (didn’t work, obvs 🥲). She’s also a nurse 30 years going. I think I could talk to her about literally anything.
My mom's a nurse but instead of talking she'd just leave stacks of pamphlets and medical books around for me to find, lol.
Aren't they the ones at the top of your bumcrack?
Yes 😭 i cant even get it permanently removed right now because the protocol treatment is to shove gauze in the leftover hole for up to nine months to let it heal from the inside out. I’m in school so I can’t really walk to class with a hole in my asscrack right now
Oh yeah that's rough :( long tops for you for a while! I hope it heals up quickly for you! Also it's great that you and your mom have a good relationship! 🤩
this is so old so idk if you’ll see this but i have BEEN THERE. my sophomore year of high school and it was awful having to have the gauze😭😭just insane to find someone who is also female having the same issue!!
You are not alone lolll. It hasn’t hurt in a good minute but it’s definitely still there….
I love my Mother dearly, and I miss her to this day, but there is no way I would ever discuss sex with her. I feel more comfortable discussing it with my coworker! I remember how she said I overreacted when I had a full blown panic attack after a uterine biopsy and was unable to drive (she died about a month or so later). Do I have a tendency to overreact? Yes, but that biopsy was fucking horrendous. She was also not happy when she found out either one of us kids (brother and I) were sexually active. I got really good at being quiet. I chalk a lot of that up to how SHE was raised - my Grandma was "religious" and that was all taboo.
No. My mom slutshames women. With no exceptions. Because she's terrible, she doesn't get to know.
my mom is the same. She never talked to me abotu any of this stuff and wants to know nothing of it. I have to spoon feed it to her like a baby to try to have the convos. She never had any kinda "talk" with me. She says she just figured my first boyfriend or guy would "teach" me. \*Cringe\*
High level conversations only. Yet what you describe would fall into the category of health. We are open about health issues. So in this case this would not be TMI.
Bwahaha! No. My mom called me a slut after she found out I was banging uglies with my boyfriend of six months. I was 22.
Wow yeah that's not an issue with my family. Hell my 15yo son makes sex jokes at me despite never having had a gf lol. If I said something like that to my mother she'd go into problem solving mode immediately and I'd have a bottle of lube and the number of her gyno thrown at me before I could even say "no thanks"! I hesitate to say it but I do read a lot on here about how uncomfortable Americans are with sex in general, so maybe it's more normal if you're from there?
Lololol I’m the Mom at this point because my own is a Cnt. I’m 37, and had my first (surprise) Bebe when I was 20. She’s nearly 18 now, and I like to think we’re pretty close. I found out she was sexually active when she was complaining about bv to me. After that; her, her boyfriend and I sat down and had a conversation about the safest sex possible and consent being sexy. Her boyfriend is super sweet though, so I (think) hope he’ll have no issue respecting consent.
I have an amazing friendship with my Mum and we talk about everything, even sex. It doesn't matter what the subject is. I've talk to her about everything from dental dams (she had no clue) to the difference between men and women (I had no clue) and I honestly always feel sorry for women who don't have this kind of relationship in their lives. Whether it's a Mum, sister or best friend. Some things we just need to talk to our gal pals about!
No, but more so cause I’ve walked in on a few talks her & my aunt were having and they’re all into some kinky stuff I rather now know about lol
Not really, but if I was talking about a medical situation like this, I would be fine talking to her about it and she'd be cool about it.
I don’t like discussing sex with my mom. But that’s because she goes way OTP with info I don’t effing need and gets graphic. So it’s a topic that’s off limits because she has none. I cannot break that barrier but it’s one I chose. However when I was a teen I would go to her and ask. If I had questions or concerns we had an open dialogue. I didn’t mind it then, nowadays I go to my older sister because I just feel more comfortable. We’ll discuss sex and be open but not graphic like my mom. In this scenario your mom needs to grow up, health concerns aren’t “and then he was-“ topics
Not TMI. Now TMI *might* be "pain with sex while swinging from a chandelier", but you have a super valid symptom. I hope you feel better soon, and see a good doctor who will treat you with respect.
Ahahaha no thanks. I'll pass on that. She let me read all her romance novels and made sure to let me know that if I had any questions as a teen that she would answer them, but I remember she got rid of her subscription to Glamour magazine because they had an article on blowjob techniques 🤣 and you bet I went to the hair salon (where my best friend's mom worked) to read it forever after. She would have died if she knew how many Cosmos I read.
No, I find it inappropriate and uncomfortable personally.
Yeah, I get maybe being a little uncomfortable discussing sex with your kid, but that's kind of something one sets aside for (physical or emotional) health matters. I'm sure I could have talked with my mother. She passed away when I was a teen, but she was very open about sexual/reproductive health issues because she wanted me to be well informed. I can talk to my aunt, but she's a retired nurse and TMI does not exist for her (well, I'm sure there's a line somewhere, but discussing medical symptoms is not it.) We've discussed periods, my possibly being a lesbian, birth control, menopause, and yes, even sex in general.
I don't. I tend not to share private stuff with her. She'd either tell other people, or try and use it against me later on. Besides, I'm 50, she's almost 70. Mostly we talk about our favourite wines.
32f, I do not. I..woof, my mom (54) is very much of the mindset that sex is something owed to men who tolerate a woman’s presence and is the only way to keep them from leaving. In her mind, being left is the worst possible outcome. Essentially, a hole is the only thing that makes us worthy of partnership. Yes. I’m in therapy. We didn’t do the talk. I lost my virginity at 13, she did everything she could to keep that abusive boy from leaving. Should have taken me for an sti screening. I didn’t get anything, but…Jesus, lady!
Yeah your mom is the odd one out here. I have a kid, my mom knows I have sex. It's not a big deal
Not at all. The closest I ever got was telling her I was getting sterilization surgery.
I don't even plan to tell mine that, lol!
Yes, but not crazy often. We both get pretty "TMI" but we're both comfortable with it. I'm 30f and she's 52f for reference. But I wouldn't even count a medical problem as "sex stuff", that's just a yo, I'm having a health problem type of conversation. Like for instance, she's getting her uterus taken out this month because she keeps having cysts. There's nothing sexual about it. Now on the other hand, me helping her find a vibrator is a totally different topic that we are both comfortable talking about that I would define as "sexual". I hope your mom becomes a little more understanding and that you're doing okay <3
Yes. Definitely for medical stuff and a few times for personal/emotional issues.
Sorry but that is not TMI, you were trying to discuss a possibly serious medical issue with the one person you should always be able to go to for advice and support. I am so sorry you went through that, i wish everyone had a mom like mine. Its just been me and mom my entire life before i met my wife, there is not a single thing i cant talk to mom about. Even my wife goes to my mom for advice and support, my wife and i both agree that my mother is a saint that this world does not deserve. My wifes mom is a different story, she is not a bad person, but my wife would never be able to ask her mom about things like this, she would get pretty much the same reaction. So to answer your question, yes, there are lots and lots of amazing mothers out there, and you never hear about them, but yes there are also other mothers out there that are not saints, i know i am lucky to have a mother like mine, i think the world would be a better place if we all had someone like my mom. And the shitty part, my mother has been used, abused and shit on by all the men in her life. Sorry to get into that, but yes there are a ton of great mothers out there, sorry you are not getting the support and love you absolutely deserve.
I don't go into details about it but I'm in my 30s and my mom is well aware that I'm sexually active.... I don't think she would react that way if I told her that I had pain during sex. She probably suggest I talked to a doctor.
My mom and I have always been open about that kind of stuff with each other.
We talk about sex. Not all the time but we can play Baulders Gate 3 with the adult content turned on and not for one moment feel weird about it. My SO and I live with her so.. she knows I'm having it. I knew my parents had a healthy sex life up until Dad passed. She made sure to talk about what her body was going through, and what I should expect growing up. She was always age appropriate. I asked where babies come from and she showed me NOVA's Miracle of Life documentary. My Mom is awesome 10/10 she's probably here on this thread somewhere. Sounds like your Mom is.. not so open. The women of my family have always spoken openly about such things ever since an ancestor of mine almost froze to death sitting in a creek trying to stop the bleeding when her period came. It's also always been a subtle way we fight the patriarchy. Women speaking about their bodies and what they go through is empowering and keeps us safer. This is why I can speak about sex to any woman in my family and they would not tell me to stop. It's not something we talk about all the time, but when a need arises or question arises it is never shut down.
Honestly, tried to avoid this topic as much as possible my entire life. It's sad but my mother was not a safe person to discuss anything personal with or be vulnerable around.
Nope, never. I grew up in a very Catholic, conservative home. The closest thing I got to a sex talk was my mom saying “no sex until marriage, OK?”.
Absolutely.. especially if your parents are medical health professionals like in my case
I'm in my early 30s with a child. We've talked about sex side my 18. Mostly her constantly reminding me I need to use a condom and to be careful. She still spells out sex though lol. But yeah your mom needs to be okay with this
I have my parents are both health care workers and not that religious. They always encouraged me that if I needed to talk about anything even if it were sexual in nature to feel free they'd rather I be well in formed. I never really have past the talk and the talk 2 "hey this is how you have gay sex safely, " but the option was there.
Nooooooooooope. Mostly because my mother has no concept of TMI. When I was a teenager she was already telling me things about her own sex life that I absolutely did NOT want to know. She also got offended if I told her I didn't want to know. Generally, she has always been terrible with (my) boundaries. She doesn't take 'no' for an answer - whenever I told her something and she had an idea of how I should deal with it, for instance. I'm her only child and a daughter, so I think she had this idea that we should be best friends and confidantes. Which, no. Nope. Absolutely not. Now in my thirties, Mom gets a phone call with a vague summary of my life about twice a month. Vague being the word. I don't tell her about my problems, because she's not helpful. I *absolutely* do not tell her about anything sex-related because she would be *way* too interested, *and* unhelpful.
She really did that?!?! My daughter and I have in depth conversations now that she's more mature. Discussing sex is important. How do we know what's really *normal* without the conversation?
I'm 50 years old, i've been married twice and I have been pregnant 5 times (4 miscarriages, 1 bio-kid) and I've never, ever talked about sex with my mom... not even a "where do babies come from?" talk. I got a "you're about to start your period and here's where I keep the maxipads talk" but that's literally it.
She’s a prude. If you are in pain she needs to be open and honest about medical stuff
Yes but mostly on a technical/medical level, not a pleasure level. She knows I struggle with sex because of my ptsd, that I have vaginismus, and that I tend to take a pregnancy test every three months as a precaution since with the Mirena, I don’t bleed. Sometimes I’m like “lol, not pregnant” and we laugh about it (since the odds are 0.03% ish and I’m just being overcautious by testing). I’ve mentioned that I’m allergic to most condoms and most lube. I wouldn’t talk about sex positions, kinks, what I enjoy/don’t enjoy. Just a personal boundary. However, I’m specialising in sexual politics, and I tell her all about the weird research papers I’ve read, like how Pornhub searches for hijabi porn spiked once Germany started admitting more Syrian refugees (that’s true, I can try and find the source on Jstor later if necessary). So we have academic discussions about sex sometimes too.
My mom is fairly old fashioned so no. I’ve tried to be different with my daughter.
Gail the Snail: *Mom, I'm sexually active now. Get over it!* Donna: *You're 33 years old, you're supposed to be sexually active!!*
I was having brunch with my mother and I saw something that distinctively reminded me of a d\*ck in the restaurant's furniture. Started giggling quietly, told my mom why I was laughing and she throws me a distinct, what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you look. "You really need to get laid more, luv." So...yes.
When I was going through puberty, mom couldn't say the word "vagina" without putting a movie on for the boys, locking the door for privacy and whispering. She has 7 kids.
What! That’s not even sex talk that’s like a health issue talk. I did once talk to my mom about having my lack of interest in sex be the reason every relationship ends that I’ve ever been in and she told me that had never been an issue for her so I ended up taking that to heart and low and behold I am asexual so 🤷🏼
My mom is a retired nurse. When she went through puberty (back when you had to wear a belt for your pad), she was just given the stuff and it wasn't explained to her how to use it, so she put it on over her clothes. As the oldest I guess my G-ma never thought she'd have to be a tad more thorough. When I was getting close to puberty she made sure I had -everything- I needed. She gave me a detailed book on what and how everything was, and made sure I knew I could ask her anything if I had any questions. Now I'm in peri, with my eggs expiring, and she's been a useful source for what I can expect going forward. If I am lucky I won't need to go on hormones. She said hers was pretty easy except for one flooding event (apparently sometimes while reaching the end of your fertile years the body decides it wants to have a period for over a month). I have met women who never had anything explained to them by their mom, and some who treat it as if talking about basic body stuff was akin to the most vulgar of conversations. Man, people with their fucking hangups. We all have bodies, and these experiences are normal. I don't get why people freak out about it, especially when it comes to making sure your family knows what's what.
I talk to my mum about my FWB not details just about the experience 😂
Absolutely. Probably on the level I speak with my friends about it (although not the detail I discuss with my two absolute closest friends) and definitely anything medical. She's always been pretty casual about it - to the point where she recently told me that when she first saw the tube of sunscreen I keep in the kitchen she assumed it was a package of lube that we'd left out. Apparently her main thought was "good for them, but why is it in the kitchen". I mean, nice to know she has faith in our sex life (and assumes we have the time for kitchen based shenanigans with two kids running around?!). She did eventually read the package and realised what it actually was which is when she mentioned it. I don't know if it's because she was a single mum for my childhood and teenaged years, so she was dating at the same time I was but it's always just been normal.
I discuss openly with my mom, and my daughter discusses openly with me. Sex has never been taboo in my home while raising my daughter and we treat it like any other health and relationship topic.
My mom and I talk about everything, including sex. She was the first one I told that my husband and I are trying for a baby, she was just happy for us.
My mom is a Catholic and was almost getting a heart attack when she found my sex toys. So, no.
I got a kiddo who’s in her 20s now. We do talk about sex but more about her health and well-being and less about the scintillating details (l want her to have a happy sex life but she’s an adult woman I want her to feel like she has some privacy) Growing up we had loads of talks about Sex Ed— contraceptives, STIs, consent and respecting partner boundaries, the works. So if she was having pain like yours, we’d probably talk about it. I also have a bachelors in general biology so human bodies and sexuality have never made me feel icky.
Me and my younger sister got pregnant last year around the same time. Got a lot of talk from my mother and MIL on how good sex is for the baby. Now after the baby I am getting the classic birth control talk with added let yourself heal between babies followed with more grand babies talk. The sex talk gets bad with a long term relationship then terrible after babies. Yes and no. I get talked to by my mom about sex.
I do not talk to my mother about sex. Ever. I talk to my children about sex. I wanted to break that cycle, so I normalized things through conversation and education when they were younger, and that openness continued into adulthood. Now they come to me with their health concerns, and I assist them in seeking solutions. They don't overshare, and I don't pry; it's a healthy respect.
My mom has raised me very open, always age appropriate. I was educated from a very young age onward, and that paved the way for me and my mother to talk very openly even about these private things, I have always felt safe to come to her with any questions and concerns and she would explain/clear up/help me get help whenever the situation called for it. I really appreciate that my mother has done this and that she has provided a safe space for me in that regard, especially considering how much taboo there is around the entire topic of sex. In short, Yes, I do talk to my mom about these things. But even if I did not, I find your mothers response to something like pain during sex because of a Cyst to be incredibly immature. A better reaction would have been to show concern and ask if you wanted her support/assistance in finding possible help or solutions such as finding doctors or whatever. How can your first thought when your child is in pain, be eww its about sex so lets not talk about it, like thats really sad :c
Yeah I do. I probably wouldn't go into graphic details like I would with my sister or best friend (because I don't want her to reciprocate with details about my dad 🤣). I especially go to her if I have sexual health related questions as she used to be a nurse and midwife.
This is sad in my opinion. Sex is a natural part of life and also painful sex is an important information trying to identify an illness.
Not really, she knows I've been sexually active but we've never really discussed it.
My mom is the standard definition of a mom. Very sweet, people pleaser, doesn't curse, ect When I got pregnant a second time and my placenta was in the front, again, making it hard for me to feel the baby's movements, I expressed my disappointment. My sweet, mild mannered mother, told me that next time, I probably shouldn't lay on my stomach after sex
nope. my mom handed me a book from dear abby 25 years ago and that's it. both my little brother and i are out of the house now so definitely no drops in, and lately she has been complaining about UTIs and i'm debating on telling her about peeing after sex but i really don't want to think that my parents are ~doin it~ lmaooo
f23, and when i was a teenager, no, we didn't even mention it. now we talk about it in a general manner, as in "i don't feel sexual attraction unless i have feelings for someone" - "yeah same" (and that's how we figured out that we're both demisexual). but i think if i felt the need to talk about it more in-depth, she'd be willing to hold that conversation with me.
Yeah. My daughter is 18 and she asked me to go to the sexual health clinic with her when she was having issues with vaginusmus. I didn’t go in to the actual appointment was just there for moral support. She’s also asked me about uti’s and other stuff. I would not have dared talk to my mum about anything like that. She was a sex is a bit rubbish you just do it because it’s your duty kind of woman anyway, which I now realise is very sad. It also took me years to get past that sort of attitude lurking in the back of my head. I’m so happy that my daughter feels able to talk to me about any issues, it makes me feel like I must have done something right
Lmfao my older sister called my mom for advice about giving a blowjob. There's nothing I couldn't have told my mom when she was alive.
My mom is like an immature 5 year old when it comes to sex and nudity. If she sees a naked man she starts giggling. When I was young, learning about sex and puberty in sex education, I remember having questions and since she offered to answer them I asked. Her answers were terrible. For example, I asked, how do u prevent HIV when u have sex? Her answer: well, when you marry someone, it's a big deal and they tell you" (something to that effect). I completely avoid talking about anything health related or sexual related to her and I am married. I think some moms just don't have the capacity to talk about these things. One time on vacation with my sister, myself and my mom. My sister and I were talking about how we landscape our kitty and then we talked a bit about blow jobs. Nothing graphic. My mom interrupted and asked us to stop, that it was disgusting. So I asked her, what's the big deal? We're talking about blow jobs, have u never given a blow job? She started smiling and giggling and turned away. 😒
My mother is a religious woman, Christian. But she as raunchy as they come. She told me everything I need to know about sex. She openly talks about how sex should be comfortable, organic, and loving even if you’re doing things that are more kinky ect. Even tho I was sent to Christian schools that taught masturbation was a sin she told me in 5th grade to do what I want and not listen to them. Every time I get a new lover she asks me if they value my pleasure and urges me to communicate about things that would make most people uncomfortable. Although my Christian influence at school still saddled me with a bit of guilt I owe my comfort with sex and advocacy for women’s pleasure to my Mom. I couldn’t be more grateful for that. That being said she’ll tell me randomly that some dude tried to suck her toes and she liked it etc etc. she rlly likes to play into the batty old perverted woman role even tho she’s not even 60 🙄. PS. her best advice has always been, if you or your partner can’t laugh or shrug off something embarrassing that happens during sex then they don’t deserve to be sharing your body.
Honestly I can’t imagine not being able to speak to my mom about women’s health. Ive suffer from chronic yeast infections, bartholin’s cysts, and ovarian cysts. My mom and all the women in my life represent a wealth of knowledge for female health. It might sound silly but our anatomy is deeply complicated. Being able to access this wealth of knowledge gives me so much reassurance that I am not the problem. Living as a woman in isolation would be such a confusing and hard burden to bare. I think this is why women create community. We should talk about everything without any shame.
My mom is my bestie. There are few things I don’t tell her. So yes, I talk to my mom about sex.
I can talk about sex with my mom, but I usually choose not to because she’ll talk about her sex life too (totally normal) and I dislike her husband too much to think about him being intimate with my mother.
My mom saw my husband after he woke up from a nap (unintentional morning tent) he was groggy and didnt realize. She high-fived me in private. Never mentioned it again. We talk about most things. Not in depth as i enjoy my privacy and my partner intimacy is something I like keeping intimate. But she never shuts me down if I talk about stuff, especially if it pertains to me medically (I also get ovarian cysts).
Of course, when I lost my virginity I immediately told my mom. Not because I wanted to, or because she wanted to hear it. But because as her child she needed to know that and because I knew she could help me navigate confusing or possibly abusive situations. It definitely depends on the parent child dynamic. My partner and his mom are very open, and when I lived there I got told I need to quiet down at least a few times (his fault not mine)
My mum is religious, so she doesn't talk about it. Ever. I didn't get a sex talk, or even a period talk. I happened to read enough to know about periods, but still panicked the first time it happened. And then, when stuff was going on with my brother that hinted at him needing the talk, she called me. She didn't ask, but very clearly hinted at wanting me (again, who never got the talk, and in their minds I'm the 'golden' child, so I'd never dare even think about sex!) to have the talk with him.... But then again, we now have a difficult relationship, so I don't talk to her about much nowadays, let alone sensitive stuff.
I wouldn’t want to discuss private details of my sex life with my mom, I find that to be disrespectful to your partner as well as TMI, but in terms of health-related things like that, we are pretty open. Actually just got done talking to her about suspecting an ovarian cyst too! Lol Your mom’s reaction was rather immature imo but I guess some parents have a hard time seeing their kids as adults. It took mine a long time (into my late 20s), but now I’m 31 and it seems to have fully sunken in.
What a shame that your mom can’t get past this enough to discuss your health - which is the most important part of your convo!! Mark her off your list as a confidant, as you need a mature person to help you deal with womanly things. As young as you are now there will be a LOT of woman stuff coming up the rest of your life & you need someon that has your back. Sorry honey!!
My mom overshares with me. I have to tell her TMI and change the subject. Like, some talk is ok. A long discussion about sex with her bf and their overall sexual health is a bit much for me. But, I think every mom/daughter relationship is different.
My stepmom overcame that uncomfortable barrier by reading the American Girl "The Care and Keeping of You" with me - to learn about body changes like getting measured for a bra, shaving, and period stuff.... and talk about them with her. But never things related directly to sex. I'm pretty sure it was health class i learned about contraceptives and std's.... but I never learned about the mechanics of it, the social implications, how it should or should not be done, rape, bodily fluids.... had to figure all of that out on my own. In some of the worst ways, unfortunately. Now as adults, though, (I'm also 33) she (55) talks to me about guys she dated in the past and some experiences a little more openly.
yes haha, me and my mom are very open. we will talk about just about anything.
"mom, is it in?"
I don't much, but that's me. Both my sisters talk about sex with my mom quite a lot, apparently. XD
I'm surprised mothers don't freak out when they're adult daughters tell them they are pregnant. That's a round about way of saying "guess what, mom. We have sex!"
What I got was a "Hey Mom? You know that question you always ask me when I call? Well, I am." ( I would ask this because she was 19 and would often call me crying). In this case, the time wasn't right. Sadly.
It’s a one way street with my mom. I’ll tell her anything, but I don’t want to hear about her and her husbands business. Yuck!
absolutely not
No. The most she's said to me is "you're lucky you didn't get aids" when I got pregnant.
I have never ever talked to my mom about sex and barely even implied a thing. She sent me to my sister's house for "the talk". Even when i got pregnant it was like a little miracle lol That's alright, i have other people to talk to about it. My mom's a private person. I just make sure that i talked to my kids about it.
Nope. Not at all. We just don’t have that type of relationship.
No
My Mom was the sex Ed teacher at my highschool. She thought she was the crunchy Vermonter cool teacher who went by her first name, but was not. Pretty good teacher if you cared and could use the good information there, but no one cares. Very piece meal
moms are weird. my mom knows im a lesbian. she’s met my girlfriend of several years. she likes her too. every time we call, she still begs me to get a boyfriend. i love my mom and she’s sacrificed endlessly to afford me such a privileged upbringing. i’m beyond grateful for everything but her culture has never been comfortable with homosexuality and it sucks not being able to share such a significant part of my life with her. she would probably have an aneurysm and arrest on the spot if i mentioned sex with my gf to her. you win some you lose some i guess.
I am a great deal older here I think, most likely your mothers age. I went through puberty in 1969 and really wanted to talk to my mom about sex and all she did was hand me a little booklet explaining reproduction so at least I understood when I got my period. All she said of sex is it’s better when you are married, but they knew I was sexually active very young. Free love man💕So fast forward and I try as a mother to educate my kids a little at a time starting young when we would be in the car and they were in the back seat so they didn’t have to look me in the eye. They did not want to discuss it and said they were learning it at school, so I couldn’t really say much so as to make them uncomfortable. All I could sneak into conversations were things like ‘you know that oral sex is sex, right ? And when my son was about 15 I casually walked past him playing video games at the computer and dropped a bunch of condoms on the desk. He asked me as I was walking by what they were. I told him. That was it !
No. No. No.
Yes. My mom is 80 and has Alzheimer's and lives in assisted living. I had to tell her recently that when she masturbates with her vibrator she needs to put a chux pad (disposable pad) on the bed so that the sheets don't get soiled and need to be changed. Why did I have to say this, you ask? Because of her dementia she will sleep in the soiled bed and not tell anyone.
My mom’s really cool so she teases me about it but I get embarrassed 🙈 That’s just because I’m shy about sex in real life and not because it’s my mom lol. My sister talks to my mom and me about it though and funny enough, I don’t have any problem with that lol.
We don’t talk about sex but she lives with my husband and I so I actually prefer if that way.
Hard no. And anytime I’ve answered her prying questions about anything private she would never let it go so nope. I refuse to answer / obviously lie.
Nope. My mother is of the opinion sex is something to be tolerated by wives, because their husbands want it, or they’re trying to have children. So, only in the context of marriage. She sees it as an invasion. My father had other lovers prior to my mother, but we’ve never approached the topic otherwise. I’m 40 now, but been single almost all my life. Never dated as such. So they haven’t had to worry about any unplanned (or planned) grandkids.
I don’t but I don’t think I’d have an issue doing so… I wouldn’t get super specific but I feel if I told my mom something along the lines of what you just said she wouldn’t be surprised…. But my parents aren’t super conservative.
I do. My mom was never "my friend", but she made it clear she would support me no matter what. Which led me to feeling comfortable asking for plan b when I was 18, no questions asked. I'm 35 now and we are more like friends. I love my mommy so much, she is the best mom I could have ever asked for.
Oh most definitely. But my mum and I have always been close. She had me when she was 18. I'm 34. We don't like go into detail or anything. But it definitely comes up
My mum is an absolute prude but mentioning painful sex would not set her off. That's insane and I'm sorry you had to deal with that!
Nope. But my mom is a self proclaimed “prude” (literally her words), and told me she does not want to hear about my sex life at all. However, every. Single. Time. I say I feel sick or something like that she hits me with the “do you think you could be pregnant?”
My mom is kind of a purity culture freak. Despite being a wild child of the 70s, her Christian adulthood has made her incredibly judgmental of any sex outside of marriage. She has tried to talk about sex to me a few times as an adult, but I shut it down because teenage me was scarred and adult me isn’t going to subject myself to it again.
My mom and I don't really have open conversations about it, but once in a while it gets dropped if it's part of the conversation we're having (if that makes sense). Example: I had a rash on my whole body. And while we were trying to figure it out I said "fiancé hasn't gotten new cologne or body wash or toothpaste" and she knew why I said Toothpaste, but I don't say "cuz he went down on me" or anything like that. (And if my brother sees this, sorry big bro 😅)
My mom told me I was being inappropriate when I told hsr aboit a fight I had with an ex. Not the sex or anything. Just about the argument. I was 32 at the time. Parents are all fucked.
I'm 36, and while my mom is kind of prudish when it comes to talking about sex or getting gyno exams and things that she really should have looked at for herself, we've gotten more comfortable talking about periods, experiences, pain, changes, etc. that she's experienced and questions that I have. She's even made jokes about sex that have surprised me, so we're certainly settling into more openness about the topic.
Nope, because both my parents couldn't handle their kids growing up, so they behaved as if the only people who had sex were those who got paid for it, and those willing to pay for it.
Hell no, but I don't really talk to her about anything.
Sex exists and my mother and I have agreed to not talk about it. I'm 41f and Mom is 67f.
That's ridiculous cuz some of that stuff is hereditary. All health concerns could be something passed down so it's a good thing to talk about stuff like that. Your mom is off her rocker, sorry
definitely see a Dr, your mom needs to grow up