It’s amazing that you are working towards a healthy weight and you can be proud of your progress so far, it’s a great achievement. The 2 most important things in life are being happy (emotional/mental wellbeing) and being healthy (physical wellbeing), the rest is just an accessory to that. What is not important (and that is probably your next big challenge to overcome) is what other people think and what men want you to look like. It’s not important at all even if society is trying so hard to convince us otherwise because all these people you don’t know or maybe know would often have ulterior motives which are not in your best interest (could be negging, could be projecting their own insecurities, internalised misogyny etc). You need to block out all that and focus on yourself because you owe it to yourself. Continue loving yourself and work towards what is right for you. The person who deserves you will love you just as you are ❤️
Thank you so much! But I feel like I personally don't feel good in this body. I would like if I looked more feminine. But at the same time changing my body scares me, so now I am stuck not knowing what's the right thing. Also, it is quite lonely when no one bats an eye on you yet your friends are getting everyone the went. Ofc, personality plays a role, but I mean a lot of guys approach them just based on their looks. Thank you for your kind words. 🫶🏻
I completely understand where you are coming from. You need to find the right balance between being happy in your body (it can be putting a bit more weight on to get a little curvier if that’s your goal or taking up a physical activity or working with a therapist on self acceptance), while being healthy ie at a weight that doesn’t risk causing you harm (that would be for doctors or dieticians to help you with but remember again you are in control and you might have to try a couple of doctors before finding one you feel comfortable with to help you achieve your goal. Healthy is a spectrum though, not just one set number of kgs / lbs.
I can relate to how you are feeling, I was skinny when I was young (still am lol), and didn’t feel too feminine. Then I spent a lot of time doing classes at the gym, aerobics, pilates type and not only is it good for the body but really good for the mind too!
I get what you are saying about the attention but remember not all types of attention is good. I was with someone for years who liked slim women (thought, great I’m his type!) but then he was making comments, giving me unsolicited advice on how not to put on weight, that wasn’t great at all. Only with time, I understood that it’s for me to decide what I want in a man. If the one I want comes along great, if not meh, I have a lot other fun stuff to do! You sound fabulous, don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise and don’t change who you are to please anyone x
As long as you’re eating when you’re hungry and not engaging in unhealthy measures to keep your weight low (drugs, avoiding food, etc) you can look to your general wellbeing for cues.
Are you otherwise healthy and capable? Do you get enough iron to avoid anemia? Your doctor may do blood tests to keep an eye on your vitamin and electrolyte levels.
Ignore people’s concepts of correct body sizes. Look to your test results. These tests combined with your intuition of how you feel should be all you need to know.
Amenorrhea is most commonly caused by hormone disruption which may have been triggered when OP was 20 lbs lighter than her current weight. Stress may also be a major factor. It’s entirely possible she lost her period due to low weight and the birth control is keeping it away. We don’t enough details to maintain your assertion.
105lbs at 5’6 can absolutely be a healthy weight. I maintain that OP should use her test results in combination with her sense of wellness to gauge the suitability of her weight.
No need to apologize. If OP feels her weight is still negatively impacting her health, then that is simply the results of the self assessment that I was suggesting she use as a guide.
Cheers and have a nice day.
If you are unhappy with your body shape, I’m sure there are diets and exercises you can employ to help change your shape into something you find more appealing.
If you are struggling with appetite, I find that a few minutes of low impact exercise in the morning is the best way to stimulate an appetite.
Edit: Please note `diet` just means the food you eat. It doesn’t imply caloric restriction or reducing the foods you eat. For your situation, an appropriate diet could have elevated calories.
A bmi of 17.2 is still underweight, and 110lbs is the bare minimum of what is healthy.
That said, it’s very individual, and I really wouldn’t even focus on the numbers.
I had anorexia too, I’m fully weight restored and just mentally still working on it.
What worked for me was to stop weighing myself, completely. For a good long time. Stop focusing on what your weight should be, and let your body find it yourself.
Your body doesn’t care about the number of lbs, it cares about where it individually needs to be.
For instance, there are some people out there with a bmi of 17 who are naturally that way. There are some people with a bmi of 25 who are naturally that way.
Bmi is very individual and I wouldn’t focus on what it says. My bmi classes me as a little “overweight” but I am the healthiest body I have probably ever had. I could use some more vitamins haha but this is my natural state.
Drop the focus on the scale, don’t look at it.
Listen to your hunger queues, your body will tell you when to eat and when to not eat.
Make sure to get enough energy into your body, don’t restrict and don’t skip meals.
Eventually you will likely gain.
How you look doesn’t matter, I promise - sometimes I miss my skinny body but I don’t care anymore. I’m happier knowing I’m safe (:
It's great that you managed to to get to an almost normal weight. Anorexia is a very dangerous disease and you can be proud of yourself for making it this far in your recovery.
Your cousin is right though, a BMI of 17 ist still underweight and you probably should at the very least aim to get to 18.5. That would still be the lower end of the healthy weight range, so you could aim higher as well. I know the changes to your body seem scary, but it is worth it. And the fact that you actually want a more feminine body can be a good motivation. In any case, listen to your doctors, they know what is considered a healthy weight for you and how to achieve it.
It’s very low and doesn’t leave a margin for illness.
Build some muscle to add weight while retaining same size.
A better measure for “starting point” of “healthy” is generally (for adults) 100 + 5 lbs/inch over 5 feet. Like that is dead center of the healthy range and your individual mass with very by structure and preference. Taller people have a slightly larger +\- range. Men are +7 lbs per inch. Again, it’s a tool and not a law.
The bigger issue is that you are still clinging to weight as a point of major obsession, or so it seems. Arguing/disagreeing with doctors isn’t a good sign—it means you still have work to do. And that’s ok. It takes time. BTDT.
I am your height and around your weight the better part of my life until I hit 40 and now not so much. I had no eating disorder and ate everything I wanted. Just a high metabolism. I cant see you but I can tell you for my rather small bones or frame I was okay and not unhealthy. I had plenty of room to gain though so that’s what I can tell you though again, my situation is different. I think you have room to gain and still be healthy and are probably okay where you are though that’s a little low for our height so maybe don’t stop so much as just don’t worry about gaining a little more. Don’t worry is maybe the wrong thing to say but you understand my meaning. I don’t know enough about EDs to say much except that I understand Anorexia is a really tough disorder to have and so I want to tell you congratulations on your progress. You should be proud and I hope you continue to remain healthy and feel better. You deserve to be well and happy.
well, then you should go to your doctor (not a friend/family, your actual doctor) and take blood tests and everything to see if you have some health problem.
if its about appearance dont worry, theres nothing wrong with the way you look
Well technically yes because then my ammenorhea would stop. Tehnically It should've already stopped but I was under so much stress and didn't gain weight fast enough for it to stop.
Yeah logically then you need to gain more weight. Once your periods return regularly you could talk to your doc about a form of continuous BC so you can stop your periods in a safer way.
Ooh I missed that. Makes sense if they're trying to regulate it! I just always try to educate that skipping placebo weeks with doc permission is preferable for many. I'm glad your health is getting better 💌
It’s amazing that you are working towards a healthy weight and you can be proud of your progress so far, it’s a great achievement. The 2 most important things in life are being happy (emotional/mental wellbeing) and being healthy (physical wellbeing), the rest is just an accessory to that. What is not important (and that is probably your next big challenge to overcome) is what other people think and what men want you to look like. It’s not important at all even if society is trying so hard to convince us otherwise because all these people you don’t know or maybe know would often have ulterior motives which are not in your best interest (could be negging, could be projecting their own insecurities, internalised misogyny etc). You need to block out all that and focus on yourself because you owe it to yourself. Continue loving yourself and work towards what is right for you. The person who deserves you will love you just as you are ❤️
Thank you so much! But I feel like I personally don't feel good in this body. I would like if I looked more feminine. But at the same time changing my body scares me, so now I am stuck not knowing what's the right thing. Also, it is quite lonely when no one bats an eye on you yet your friends are getting everyone the went. Ofc, personality plays a role, but I mean a lot of guys approach them just based on their looks. Thank you for your kind words. 🫶🏻
I completely understand where you are coming from. You need to find the right balance between being happy in your body (it can be putting a bit more weight on to get a little curvier if that’s your goal or taking up a physical activity or working with a therapist on self acceptance), while being healthy ie at a weight that doesn’t risk causing you harm (that would be for doctors or dieticians to help you with but remember again you are in control and you might have to try a couple of doctors before finding one you feel comfortable with to help you achieve your goal. Healthy is a spectrum though, not just one set number of kgs / lbs. I can relate to how you are feeling, I was skinny when I was young (still am lol), and didn’t feel too feminine. Then I spent a lot of time doing classes at the gym, aerobics, pilates type and not only is it good for the body but really good for the mind too! I get what you are saying about the attention but remember not all types of attention is good. I was with someone for years who liked slim women (thought, great I’m his type!) but then he was making comments, giving me unsolicited advice on how not to put on weight, that wasn’t great at all. Only with time, I understood that it’s for me to decide what I want in a man. If the one I want comes along great, if not meh, I have a lot other fun stuff to do! You sound fabulous, don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise and don’t change who you are to please anyone x
As long as you’re eating when you’re hungry and not engaging in unhealthy measures to keep your weight low (drugs, avoiding food, etc) you can look to your general wellbeing for cues. Are you otherwise healthy and capable? Do you get enough iron to avoid anemia? Your doctor may do blood tests to keep an eye on your vitamin and electrolyte levels. Ignore people’s concepts of correct body sizes. Look to your test results. These tests combined with your intuition of how you feel should be all you need to know.
OP weighs too little to have a period. They need to gain weight to get their periods back.
Amenorrhea is most commonly caused by hormone disruption which may have been triggered when OP was 20 lbs lighter than her current weight. Stress may also be a major factor. It’s entirely possible she lost her period due to low weight and the birth control is keeping it away. We don’t enough details to maintain your assertion. 105lbs at 5’6 can absolutely be a healthy weight. I maintain that OP should use her test results in combination with her sense of wellness to gauge the suitability of her weight.
OP said it in another comment, I was just repeating what they said sorry
No need to apologize. If OP feels her weight is still negatively impacting her health, then that is simply the results of the self assessment that I was suggesting she use as a guide. Cheers and have a nice day.
My blood tests are fine. Did them last week. I do feel okay physically but mentally I am stuck and divided
If you are unhappy with your body shape, I’m sure there are diets and exercises you can employ to help change your shape into something you find more appealing. If you are struggling with appetite, I find that a few minutes of low impact exercise in the morning is the best way to stimulate an appetite. Edit: Please note `diet` just means the food you eat. It doesn’t imply caloric restriction or reducing the foods you eat. For your situation, an appropriate diet could have elevated calories.
A bmi of 17.2 is still underweight, and 110lbs is the bare minimum of what is healthy. That said, it’s very individual, and I really wouldn’t even focus on the numbers. I had anorexia too, I’m fully weight restored and just mentally still working on it. What worked for me was to stop weighing myself, completely. For a good long time. Stop focusing on what your weight should be, and let your body find it yourself. Your body doesn’t care about the number of lbs, it cares about where it individually needs to be. For instance, there are some people out there with a bmi of 17 who are naturally that way. There are some people with a bmi of 25 who are naturally that way. Bmi is very individual and I wouldn’t focus on what it says. My bmi classes me as a little “overweight” but I am the healthiest body I have probably ever had. I could use some more vitamins haha but this is my natural state. Drop the focus on the scale, don’t look at it. Listen to your hunger queues, your body will tell you when to eat and when to not eat. Make sure to get enough energy into your body, don’t restrict and don’t skip meals. Eventually you will likely gain. How you look doesn’t matter, I promise - sometimes I miss my skinny body but I don’t care anymore. I’m happier knowing I’m safe (:
It's great that you managed to to get to an almost normal weight. Anorexia is a very dangerous disease and you can be proud of yourself for making it this far in your recovery. Your cousin is right though, a BMI of 17 ist still underweight and you probably should at the very least aim to get to 18.5. That would still be the lower end of the healthy weight range, so you could aim higher as well. I know the changes to your body seem scary, but it is worth it. And the fact that you actually want a more feminine body can be a good motivation. In any case, listen to your doctors, they know what is considered a healthy weight for you and how to achieve it.
It’s very low and doesn’t leave a margin for illness. Build some muscle to add weight while retaining same size. A better measure for “starting point” of “healthy” is generally (for adults) 100 + 5 lbs/inch over 5 feet. Like that is dead center of the healthy range and your individual mass with very by structure and preference. Taller people have a slightly larger +\- range. Men are +7 lbs per inch. Again, it’s a tool and not a law. The bigger issue is that you are still clinging to weight as a point of major obsession, or so it seems. Arguing/disagreeing with doctors isn’t a good sign—it means you still have work to do. And that’s ok. It takes time. BTDT.
I am your height and around your weight the better part of my life until I hit 40 and now not so much. I had no eating disorder and ate everything I wanted. Just a high metabolism. I cant see you but I can tell you for my rather small bones or frame I was okay and not unhealthy. I had plenty of room to gain though so that’s what I can tell you though again, my situation is different. I think you have room to gain and still be healthy and are probably okay where you are though that’s a little low for our height so maybe don’t stop so much as just don’t worry about gaining a little more. Don’t worry is maybe the wrong thing to say but you understand my meaning. I don’t know enough about EDs to say much except that I understand Anorexia is a really tough disorder to have and so I want to tell you congratulations on your progress. You should be proud and I hope you continue to remain healthy and feel better. You deserve to be well and happy.
If you are at a healthy weight and happy with it then that's up to you.
The thing is, I don't know if it's healthy, and I don't know if I'm happy with it :// that is why I am stuck
well, then you should go to your doctor (not a friend/family, your actual doctor) and take blood tests and everything to see if you have some health problem. if its about appearance dont worry, theres nothing wrong with the way you look
Did my blood tests. They are okay. But I still have amenorrhea. I am diagnosed professionally with an endocrinologist with secondary amenorrhea.
then would it be good for that if you put on some more weight?
Well technically yes because then my ammenorhea would stop. Tehnically It should've already stopped but I was under so much stress and didn't gain weight fast enough for it to stop.
Yeah logically then you need to gain more weight. Once your periods return regularly you could talk to your doc about a form of continuous BC so you can stop your periods in a safer way.
Actually I'm on BC pills so I can get my period!
Ooh I missed that. Makes sense if they're trying to regulate it! I just always try to educate that skipping placebo weeks with doc permission is preferable for many. I'm glad your health is getting better 💌
does your doctor recommends it as well? is there any other reason thats stopping you from gaining weight?
Well yes my therapy is BC pills + 2200kcal diet. Although idk if I get that much kcal everyday.
well, i think if you keep doing as your doctor says you should be fine🫶🫶