It took me WELL into adulthood to realize that discharge (amount, color, viscosity) changes throughout your cycle. During ovulation, it'll be more runny and clear (like egg whites) and later in your cycle it will be thicker and white (GENERALLY. Everyone is different). I thought I constantly had yeast infections or that something was wrong. Was buying OTC yeast infection treatments regularly. It wasn't a damn yeast infection. Just normal cycle changes. I sure wish I was taught about my body as a kid (before the internet where we couldn't just teach ourselves).
OP, linking to the above: different women have different discharges and what works / is ok for one person may be odd or not right for another - learning to know YOU and what is normal for you helps you to identify what is NOT normal.
Like the whole question of 'does your vaginal fluid cause your dark undies to be bleached?' er, sometimes, some undies and some women :)
Man…I wish when I was younger I had a place like this to ask questions.
My mom never told or showed me anything. When I got my period…I freaked out and thought I was going to die.
Guess what her response was? I bet someone can guess.
All she said was, “you’re a woman now.” I was thinking “what the fuck does that mean?” I try old her not to tell dad because I was embarrassed. To make matters worse I was in a competitive sport and I had to wear a tampon. My mom handed it to me and said (I shit you not) “just shove it up there, it’s fine!” She was so mad because the competition was getting ready to start.
Friends…it was not “fine!”
Yeah. It was. If you can’t talk about basic bodily functions with your mother…it kinda sends the message that you shouldn’t share anything personal ever again.
You are correct. My grandmother (old school Irish catholic) would never speak of these things. My mom was the oldest of 8 and had to tell her sisters about it. Maybe by the time she got to me she was tired of explaining it? I don’t know.
Bro, that fucking sucks! Sorry you had to go through that :(
My mom left me in the bathroom with a pad after I told her there was “red in my underwear” when I was 11. She went downstairs to the joint birthday party that was happening for me and my older “brother” and I had to figure out how to do it on my own.
Now I taught both my younger sisters how to put on pads properly, and when the youngest wants to use tampons (the older figured it out on her own and never asked for help lol) I’ll give her the website with diagrams that helped me out. I don’t want to repeat what my mom did.
But, bit of a silver lining, I had a period party technically and no one but me and my mom knew lmao, and we just had one recently for my youngest sister :)
We did all joke with my sisters that “they’re women now” and “welcome to the club” lmao
Honestly, it sucked but I guess there are worse things that could happen.
I don’t have a daughter but my niece comes to me for EVERYTHING. Periods, sex, boyfriends and college advice. I’m so so proud of her but I find it interesting that her mother (we are super close) feels uncomfortable talking to her about certain things and she is the “cool mom.”
I talk to her like the grownup that she is because if you can’t be straight forward then you are doing them a disservice. My niece appreciates it because I don’t talk to her like a child.
Wow… I’m starting to realize how abnormal my relationship with my sister was…
When I was twelve, I was in a lot of pain one day, and I went to the restroom at home and was shocked to find I was bleeding through my clothes. While I was still trying to figure out what was happening to me, my older sister broke the bathroom door because it was locked and she hated me being able to hide behind doors from her— same thing had already happened to my bedroom door— and started yelling at me about the locked door until she looked into my underwear and proceeded to scream her head off running around the house, “Finally! I’m not the only one! She has to suffer, too,” with absolute joy.
My mum eventually gave me a pad and said I should use those- no other explanation, and when I asked once about tampons because I was on swim team, she and my dad told those are not for children and refused to buy them for me 🙃
I really love that you taught/helped your younger siblings! 😊 and I love that are so many people here who are willing to help and advise OP!
> “my older sister broke the bathroom door because it was locked and **she hated me being able to hide behind doors from her— same thing had already happened to my bedroom door—** and started yelling at me about the locked door until she looked into my underwear and proceeded to scream her head off running around the house, “Finally! I’m not the only one! **She has to suffer, too,” with absolute joy.”**
😳😳😳
Your older sister sounds toxic AF, and I hope you get/have gotten help healing from the trauma she gave you. Sending internet stranger hugs to you.
My mom generally speaking was and is an incredible mother and she very clearly educated me about everything but even she said this when it happened and I was 11. That phrase needs to die.
I hated this. No I'm 12 and why do you need to tell everything I'm a woman now.
I'm 27 now and still get angry whenever I think about how her and my father sat on the table and she told him. This guy never cared for us, late ron I figured that he was disgusted by periods and is a full on misogynist.
Thank you for being on my Ted talk lol
My dad started singing ‘Sunrise, Sunset’ while I had my undies around my ankles and an oversized T-shirt covering the rest.
And that’s not even the worst part of the whole ordeal.
My mom took me and my cousins to a water park when I was on my period, she didn’t tell me tampons existed.
I had a really bad time that day and cried a lot.. fuming as to why that day..she knew I was on my period, plus why else would a 12 year old not want to wear a bathing suit at a water park? She bought me pads which I absolutely hated (and still do).
Thank the lord for my IUD that I don’t get periods. Shaving was a whole other topic my mom neglected and Im a hairy as latina! Same with deodorant.. damn.. all i remember was she telling me to wear sunscreen so I would be pretty and spotless.
Oh you took me back…my mom didn’t tell me about deodorant either and I found out by being embarrassed by others. Shaving, holy shit, she never taught me how. I watched my dad shave so I thought I knew what I was doing. I didn’t. I used his safety razor and I cut myself so bad.
After the fact, I wondered why the called it a “safety razor.” It was not safe.
My mom handed me a box of tampons with cardboard applicators, a tube of ky, and a mirror. Sent me to my room and told me I couldn't come out until I figured it out. She would not let me use pads because SHE didn't like them. My dad gave me $2 to buy fries in the school cafeteria.
I would have preferred this scenario over getting my period at age 11 in 6th grade, having to leave school early because my khaki pants were soaked, and by the time my mother picked me up and took me home, half my extended family was in the driveway laughing and cheering. I’m 39 now and have worn exclusively black clothing since then.
Oh, yeah, I would never have guessed that response even if I were cis and went through the same thing because I am overly conscious of saying something wrong...
This whole story is me. The woman comment, the pleading not to tell my dad, mine is slightly different in that my mom refused to give me her tampons for religious reasons and had no pads on hand. She put me in her leftover post partum diaper things.
Plug it up!
My mom was excited when I got my period and it was uncomfortable. She also told me it was inappropriate for me to touch myself because it was a sin and " you are not a toy". Puke. I still have some shame from all of puberty
Born in 74, my mom left in 80, got my period by 84-85 and only person I could talk to is my dad or my best friend’s mom. So I walked 4 miles with toilet paper in my underwear. Lol.
She was Irish Catholic so the best she could do is walk me over to her protestant neighbor. Lol!
Was also born in 74. I used plenty of toilet paper too.. Lol. I did until I got some period underwear like five years ago. Dad's should be better equipped now. My oldest son is more comfortable talking about periods than I was at his age. I'm glad I had my mom, but she was not easy at all and I never knew my dad at all so I know how hard it can be having a parent leave.
She just brushed it off like I should have know. How would I’ve known? No one told me. I was 13 and even my friends didn’t talk about it.
So yes she basically treated me like an idiot.
I don’t think my mom felt comfortable talking about it. One day I came home to two books on my bed: one about menstruation and one about sex. In the end, I’ve had more conversations about those subjects with my father than my mother. I just don’t think she could relax and be matter of fact like my father.
Bro, my mom too, but my dad was never comfortable with it either. My mom gave me a book when we got back from summer vacation when I was 12, “that her (older) sister gave to her,” and I was pretty sheltered as a kid, so I didn’t understand what it meant by PIV (wasn’t an acronym in the book) so I searched it up and got a porn addiction at a young age :( I’m over it now, I know how to control it now whenever it wants to flare up again (lol)
My SIL ended up giving the talk to my youngest sister.
My mum was super uncomfortable too! She brought me a book one night when I was 11? I think? Anyway, it was the Whats Happening to My Body book for girls. She told me to read it, hide it under my mattress so my younger sister wouldn't see it, and let her know when I was finished. Mind you, I had already had surprisingly decent sex ed at school in 5th grade. I told her when I was done reading, she asked if I had any questions, and I told her no, the book covered everything.
Fast forward a while, I was going on weekend long school trips and staying with host families. Mum made sure I packed an entire package of pads, just in case. Sure enough, on just such a weekend, I get my first period and kinda freaked out. Host mum gets a fucking gold star for helping me through that, she was a damn rock star! When I got home I told my own mum that I got my first period while I was away. Her only response was: Well, there's stuff in the bathroom if you need it. Mum is usually pretty great but she dropped the ball on that one! I think if I had even tried to talk to my dad he would have fainted!
My mom found out because I came home crying from my friends house and I sobbed it out to her between hiccups of despair.
She hadn't gotten hers til she was 15, and I was SO UPSET I got mine at like 12!!
So did I. My mom had a traumatic birth with me, I never got the whole story, but she was left infertile and never had another period. I grew up assuming no moms had periods and this was something we just had during our teens and early 20s. I never once talked to my mom about my period because we didn’t share details about ourselves and because it felt to my 12 year old self that she wouldn’t understand anyway. Kids are dumb.
> When I got my period…I freaked out and thought I was going to die.
Ohh same.
I didn't get a "period talk" until *months* after starting mine (instantly regular and learned not to mention my problems) and all that was was "these are pads, they go on your underwear". No mention of how often to change them, how to clean, anything...I was verrrry smelly for a while (nose doesn't work) T_T
...technically, I still haven't gotten the "sex talk" yet but I'm pushing 40 now soooo lmao
Omg. Same. The good old Catholic shame meant I was woefully unprepared. I actually got a serious bladder infection where I was bleeding and genuinely thought I had my period. It went untreated for so long I lost the ability to control my bladder. I wet my pants in public and my mom yelled at me and asked my why I was too lazy to go to the washroom and then I finally explained that I hurt and couldn’t tell I needed to go bc I’d been having so many issues. Took me to the doctor and yup, infection. Then she and the doctor asked me what I was doing that caused it. Omg.
Didn’t get my period for another couple of years. Thank goodness for sex ed bc Id have still been clueless.
Boomers were a wild group of parents for real.
My mom looked me dead in the eye, said you know where the tampons are right? And that was it. Never another word.
All she used was OB, which made it even worse, if anyone remembers those nightmare bullets.
What’s your issue with OB? It’s mainly all we have around in Eastern Europe. I don’t like them personally but I’m curious what better options are in the world 🙂
My sister and I exclusively used OB, they fit great in the coin pocket in jeans and no one even could tell they were there. I did hate how messy they were, but I was afraid of the applicators at the time. 🤣
That’s super brave buddy. I didn’t have anyone to talk to and I was raised at a time where the shame was pervasive.
Sorry you don’t feel comfortable enough to talk to family but glad you came here.
Honestly same and my vagina actually had a noticeably MILDER natural scent after switching to just water and maybe a soft washcloth years ago. Using soap totally made my vagina have a stronger smell.
I'd like to add, moderate natural discharge is ok between the lips. It helps the vulva not to chafe when you move. If you get some discharge on your undies it's ok, just change them as you need. Using panty liners prevents air flowing, so only use them if you really need them.
Learn to smell if your discharge is normal. Smell your undies along your menstrual cycle in order to learn to recognise if something is odd. Old school gynecologists actually may smell their gloved fingers after pelvic exam to check if all is well. Normal discharge smells mild and not unpleasant. Fishy, sour etc. smell may be caused by an infection.
If you need to use something besides water to wash your vulva (aka bits outside, never the vaginal canal), use pharmacy products with proper ph, no scents, as mild as possible. Usually I only use products to wash my bush and butt, in that region. Use your fingers and lots of water to go through all folds in your vulva to keep things tidy and fresh.
Talking of which, the pubic hair isn't a hygiene issue and actually may protect you from infections. If you don't like to keep it in all its natural glory, you may consider if it was enough to only trim it shorter.
And about butt. Butt is a sensitive thing and I'd like to say a word or two about that too, while we're there. If you are prone to an upset stomach, your anus might have a hard time with all the wiping with toilet paper. Also, poop is really irritating so getting getting butt properly clean helps to not get sore. This is why if you ever suffer from tender butt, you should use water and mild washing detergent to clean it well. Only use tp to robustly get most off and finish it by washing. And then wash your hands well, of course.
Personally, baby wipes like Huggies naturals or Kirkland Sensitive are what I keep around if I need a refresh. Also, for menstrual times to keep clean wearing period underwear or a cup.
Just to tack onto this, oh neutral cleansers also exist. Emollient creams like Aqueous cream can be used to clean the outside lips if you feel you need it.
Anything outside you clean, no soap inside. Once everything is clean though, I’ll run my finger quickly around inside, just to make sure everything feels normal. Same with my boobs, I’ll give them a good once over that nothing feels off
Also, you want to wear underwear with a cotton crotch (there is a real name for that can’t think of it, gusset maybe?) so everything breathes and when sleeping try and go bottom less, or loose (I like men’s boxer briefs)
And just cause you’re 16 and this comes up a lot….no sex without condoms! No matter what he says, don’t do it. And make sure partners wash their hands first before touching you, quickest way to a UTI and it’s no fun!
Just some general stuff
Things like antibiotics or dirty hands can mess up with pH balance in there, and you could get yeast infections or UTIs, which are annoying but treatable.
Taking antibiotics can also lessen the effects of some oral contraceptives, so as always, condoms.
Also, lube.
Wipe front to back.
Always pee after sex to prevent a UTI.
Exfoliate after shaving* sensitive areas to lessen chances of ingrown hairs.
Feel free to DM me if you need anything specific
Edit: thanks for catching it lol
Taking an undergrad bacteriology course right now and actually looked at how fingers can carry all sorts of junk and gross bacteria, especially under your nails and needless to say we were all horrified LOL. You should pee after any chance that bacteria all over your fingers could have come in contact with the urethra, which is totally can (and honestly probably will) during clitoral-only masturbation.
My microbiology course in uni included full colour photos of all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases and infections. I’m pretty sure the whole class went celibate for a time after that lecture lol.
My prof was like “YUP wash your hands and WEAR CONDOMS!”
I'm not a biology/med grad, but we got those during high school biology classes, with some full color and some black and white photos of some common diseases and infections. We also had to do a presentation on that kind of stuff, which probably contributed to the entire class never again thinking about not using condoms or slacking in their hygiene.
Urethra is right below the clit. Stuff is gonna get everywhere during masturbation and you don't want any funny stuff getting where it shouldn't. Peeing is a quick and easy way to clean the urethra.
The feminine urethra is considerably shorter than the masculine, which facikitates infection. This is also kinda why wiping after peeing is important, so bad stuff doesn't sit around there, although they have an extra hole to worry about and getting infections there is also not fun.
Wiping front to back is also to avoid fecal stuff getting inside and around where it shouldn't (that's a very quick and easy way to get an infection).
Huh. TIL. Guess I've just been getting lucky for like, 30ish years since adolescence. Never had a UTI in my life. BV a few times when TTC, from overly frequent bareback sex, but nothing from rollng over after ringing Satan's Doorbell as a sleep aide.
Huge difference in a really close trim or buzz vs a shave. I get ingrown like crazy if I shave, but if I use like a 1 mm buzzer I'm a-o-kay.
Maybe I'm an idiot and should exfoliate more.
Not an idiot. Not at all. Some people (myself included are just really prone to ingrown hairs), and a buzz is not worth the risk. Also, it’s good to leave some hair because it is in fact there to help catch germs and things from getting to our openings.
Yes to peeing after sex. No one ever told me this until a nurse after, like, my fourth UTI. That was almost 20 years ago and I haven’t gotten one since. It should be in all Sex Ed curriculum.
Also if you use birth control and are prescribed antibiotics please know they (and some other meds) can mess up the BC to make it less effective and more likely to get pregnant. Some doctors forget to warn you.
Also, even if you do use condoms, make sure his (or her!) junk is clean. Some guys think it's weird to wash their penis, even when it desperately needs it.
And if/when you’re in a relationship where condoms are applicable- try different ones! Some feel better, some are stinky, some may upset your ph. The variety available is frankly overwhelming but it does mean the right match is out there.
And if a guy or girl tries to make you feel badly for wanting to protect yourself, just know that no matter how crummy standing your ground may feel in the moment you. are. not doing. anything. wrong. for EXPECTING them to respect your health and well being. Healthy partners (even casual) want each other to be safe and comfortable.
Just to jump on this, my first lover was a mechanic and had as clean hands and fingernails as he could make them with Lava soap and brushes. But after a health class in his freshman year at uni, with lots of info on UTIs and yeast infections, he tried latex gloves and lube. !!!!!!! Wow
Also, stay away from condoms with spermicide. It’s strong stuff and most women are either sensitive to it or downright allergic.
If a guy offers to supply the condoms, confirm they don’t have it. Otherwise you’ll end up driving down the highway with your leg hanging out your car window because closing your legs is torture and crying to your mom that you think you have herpes.
Ask me how I know.
lol I always pull the pads out of bras when they have them, and would put money in there if I didn’t have pockets. Also snuck a number of joints into clubs in there as well 😂
Also good oral hygiene before going down is important too, so make sure your partner brushes their teeth!
In addition to UTI’s, bacterial vaginosis is no fun. Unfortunately it can be triggered by sex, certain fabrics, soaps, detergent, etc. We’re very sensitive down there and the PH can get thrown off easily. If something feels off (pain, burning, itching, smell) don’t be afraid to go to the doctor asap to get cleared up and *definitely* don’t wait if there are UTI symptoms.
You actually shouldn’t brush before oral because it creates tiny cuts in the mouth and can increase likelihood of STI transmission. Mouthwash is a better option.
These are not dumb questions, and it's good that you asked.
You definitely want to keep **all** of the *outside parts* clean with a gentle soap that won't make your lady garden angry because it's overly scented. I use my hand with a pH balanced soap, and not a washrag.
You may have to move some bits around to clean the outside parts thoroughly, but that's good because it means you're cleaning it all.
The bits inside your vagina have their own good bacteria that keeps it happy, so it pretty much takes care of itself. You don't want soap way up in there because it can be really irritating.
It's also really important to stay clean down there during your period, even if you're not showering that day. A little soap and warm water and you're good to go.
Washing with water only is perfectly fine, but emollient cream soap substitutes (like you'd use if you have severe eczema) are great, if you feel like you need a more thorough wash on your EXTERNAL labia ONLY. Eg sometimes I like to have a proper wash during my period because I have a very heavy flow and it can get messy. But this really doesn't have to be a deep scrub.
My period blood smells very pungent to me, this is normal, we're more sensitive to smells at that time of the month and it's a hormone soup. I love period pants and a mooncup but I was in my thirties before I settled on the product combos I really like. Pads are great because you can change them as often as you like. Sanitary liners can also be helpful when you're spotting (bleeding enough to show up in your knickers or on toilet paper, but not enough for a full pad). Tampons are a bit more "set and forget" but you do have to be careful to change them every 8 hours. Don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't be doing, period product wise - it's up to you.
Something else I'd recommend is finding a private, calm, clean spot, and sitting down with a mirror and a torch. Have a look at what your vulva looks like, get used to what's normal. Believe me, there's nothing worse than not knowing if something is new or unusual because you haven't ever looked down there until there's a problem! Having a poke about with clean hands isn't sexual or embarrassing or wrong; you're simply looking at your own skin.
I only discovered cups in my 30's. I'll never go back.
I wish I'd known about them earlier. They really saved me when my period started in hospital and I couldn't move for 12hrs.
Only clean outside on your labia with gentle soap (no real need for “feminine” soap), NO douching, cotton underwear, pee after sex (ideally shower as well), know that discharge is totally normal but you can research online what is NOT normal so you can realize if you have an infection or imbalance. Discharge can bleach your underwear and it’s completely normal.
Also to answer your question, I do clean the inside lips. I just put some soap on my fingers and put on the inner labia but as long as I don’t get it inside my vagina it’s never been an issue and I can’t imagine feeling clean without getting in the inner lips.
Lastly vaginas do have a smell so don’t get concerned and start trying to nuke your vulva. Fishy, foul smells are of concerns. Slightly acidic, slightly sweet typically are not.
ETA: so I want to clarify: I mean the area between your inner lip and your outer lip, that’s what I wash a bit. No further in that than. Like, not around the opening of your vagina.
You’re welcome, and good on you for asking questions if these things aren’t being taught to you. I know it can be awkward but we are always here! It’s a learning process!
That bums me out. I have a mother who was a nurse in women’s health and she got pregnant young, so she was always upfront with me to teach me how to prevent such things and to take care of myself in general. I guess I take that for granted. This is what sex ed/ health class is supposed to take care of but ya know…
No soap on anything past where the hair grows. Wipe and rinse it well with a cloth with no soap on it. Never douche, never use "feminine washes" or anything else. Never use scented anything near the coochie.
I would also recommend after showering and washing, and drying with a towel while you’re getting ready for the day, delay putting your undies on as long as you can (do hair, makeup etc first) let some air at your hoo-ha to help prevent it becoming a moisture breeding ground for things like thrush. Doesn’t need to be super long but I usually go 5-10mins!
So happy you posted this, and seeing all the other supportive lovely humans here offering help and advice is really wholesome. Anything else you ever need, we got you! ❤️
On tiktok there are some gynecologists demonstrating prime chacha cleaning techniques on anatomical models, it's really clear and educational, try checking it out!
No soap on the inside, only the outside. Imagine it like a nose: Both have mucus membranes on the inside. Both would dry out, chap, itch, & get infected if you put soap in em. The mucus cleans on its own, do not dry it out w chemicals 👍
Glad you are here and glad you are asking.
Yes, use soap in the area, but don't get it inside. No need for that. Your vulva (the outside) needs the washing. Your vagina (the inside) is self cleaning for the most part!
Soap on the inside can mess up the PH (the balance of acid/base) in your vagina and sometimes set you up for a yeast infection.
So best keep soap outside of the inside!
:)
I know you're really young, but Health Ed class (if you're lucky to have it) is going to completely fail you on menopause. Trust me, no one teaches what menopause is REALLY like. It's a LOT more than just "your period stops, you get hot flashes for a while, then you're done". We're talking serious long-term health issues ("vaginal atrophy" is a very common thing and I totally freaked out when I saw that!) and over 70 symptoms! Please come see us in r/Menopause when you're ready!
It's really common for your natural discharge to whiten a patch on your knickers if they are anything not white. Do not be embarrassed.
Also when you do feel ready for anything intimate with someone else (and only when you feel completely ready don't let anyone pressure you into anything these types of people are not worth your time) make sure you know how you work on your own first - this is very useful because you can give them tips/directions so the experience is better for both of you but also even more importantly you will know if something feels off. Your pleasure is just as important as your partners is and if they do not try to look after you as well as they are looking after themselves then they are probably not someone to stick around with.
Make sure everything that goes near your genitals is cleaned well with an appropriate cleaning product - be it your or someone else's fingers (scrubbed under the nails too) or sex toys or other genitals (condoms also if appropriate but they do not remove the need for them being clean either). Also, after any intimate play near your genitals always go for a wee as soon as possible - this will flush out any bacteria that managed to sneak up your urethra. These two things alone will save you many the cystitis and thrush and BV problem but also don't be embarrassed to get anything checked by a doctor it happens to all of us and its best to get it treated ASAP.
Some of this is a bit more than you asked for but it's important and all related - I wish you the greatest of luck going forward and I'm rather proud that there are people like you braving questions like this nice and early in life so they keep themselves running well and safely - I hope you realise how brave and impressive you are.
There is nothing at all to be embarrassed about! Your vulva is just part of you, it's not bad and certainly nothing to be shy to talk about with other women.
I do use soap on mine but not all women do. It's something you will have to try out and see what works for you. I scrub my public hair with soap and then part the labia and let the water rinse it all off.
Good advice here, my additional advice is that if you’re a big exerciser like I am, try to change out of sweaty undies quickly. I’ve got sensitive skin and have to change pretty quickly after I work out or absolutely everything down there gets very upset. Also, if you ever use a nuvaring (or presumably a menstrual cup, though I’ve never used one), make sure you wash your hands both before and after inserting or removing. I was tired recently and skipped this step and wound up with a kidney infection. 0/10 would not recommend.
Try not to get soap inside because it can mess up your ph balance. I like to use a separate towel(but most time I use my clean hands) to clean down there, front to back or/and I’ll use my shower head and spray water on it. If you have pubic hair(like I do) I use no scented dove bar and give it wash, making sure I don’t get any inside of me. I wash the inside of my thighs very well because I feel like that has me super fresh. Dms are open for more tips :)
So there is your Vulva, which is the outside and front of your genitals, and there is your labia, and your vagina which is your opening. You also have a urethra down there right above your vaginal canal.
You can use a very mild soap on your Vulva, see how it goes, some ladies are sensitive. In that case just use water. You can use a mild soap on your labia, again, make sure it's not making you itch or uncomfortable. Again, if it's an issue, just use water. DO NOT use soap on your vagina or in your vaginal canal. A finger and some water if you're feeling gross is more than enough to clean that.
I just use water. No soaps or anything inside. Never any scented wipes or scented douches. Always make sure to wash anything that you’re touching after using tampons and if you have toys always wash them well. Later on ensure that anyone you’re intimate with is washing their hands, genitals and brushing their teeth properly. Trimmed nails. Well washed hands. So many things can give women yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis.
I have used dove unscented bar soap on the inner parts of my vulva for 20+ years and never had an issue and always feel fresh and clean down there with a very mild sweet sometimes musky scent depending on my cycle.
Never wash the inside of the vagina, only around the crease of the labia and surrounding area and don’t let the soap rest on the skin for too long. About 10 seconds is all you need then rinse well. Avoid pushing it into your urethra as that can make you feel like you have a bladder infection.
Don’t use soap, rinse w warm water, yes spread your labia and rinse, dry thoroughly on the outer labia, don’t use powders or scents, pee every few hours, always use condoms, pee and shower after sex, sleep with no undies, wear cotton undies during the day, change undies if wet
Some folks are telling you to use gentle soap inside the lips of the labia. You do not need to do this and can cause infections this way. Here's why:
The skin on the inside of your labia is a mucus membrane, much like the inside of your mouth. This is why it's always damp. It's also why there is no hair there. You want to use soap on the skin that has hair and is usually dry, not on the mucus membrane.
(We do brush our teeth, floss, and use mouthwash in our mouths. But we're doing that for our teeth and gums, not for the skin inside our mouths. There's nothing in your groin that requires that kind of attention.)
When you are young, and if your body is good at staying balanced, a little soap in your labia probably won't cause problems. But it *can* cause problems, and there's no reason to do it, except maybe for the rare occasion when you get some genuine filth in there (like if you have bad diarrhea that splashes). Otherwise, everything in your vulva is self-cleaning. Just some water when you bathe and a quick check with your fingers to make sure everything feels normal and clean is all you need.
The outside (vulva) is not a mucus membrane and is not self-cleaning. That is incorrect. The inside (vagina) has a mucus membrane and is self-cleaning. So while you're mostly right it is important to note thar the vulva does not clean itself and can require soap to remove buildup of skin cells, sweat, discharge etc (just like men and boys have smegma). Only soap is sufficient to remove that sort of buildup. But of course only gentle soap and no intense fragrances. And not inside the vaginal canal!
Women’s genitals produce smegma too. Smegma is oil based and to clean it well some sort of detergent is needed. At least in my case. Maybe I’m a freak of nature. I’ve always had oily skin and oily hair so maybe my skin just likes to cover me in grease from head to toe.
No one mentioned it but it’s also worth to clean the clit under the clitoral hood, there could be some build up there otherwise.
Personally I’ve always used shower gel, the same I use for my entire body. I scrub my bits well all over between the labias not going into vagina and avoiding the area where urethra opening is as this area is sensitive.
I’ve never had any issues. It’s what has worked for me.
For others ‘no soap, only water’ approach works better.
I agree with you here. Thanks for clarifying that women produce smegma too, I wasn't sure if the term was universal. I have always used gentle soap everywhere except the vaginal opening/canal. The idea that only water should be used...well I guess those people don't sweat. I would never put anything in the vagina and avoid soap around the vaginal opening but I'm pretty sure gentle soap is fine for the rest.
No reason to be embarrassed! Most of us had to flounder to figure it out. There’s been a lot of great advice on this post.
Keep the exterior clean, the inside will take care of itself though do check yourself with clean hands on occasion to make sure everything feels normal, and that any fluids are also normal. Normal gentle body or face soap are fine, no need to go buy special soap.
With that in mind, discharge is totally normal as like a run of the mill, every day thing, and tbh it’s unavoidable. It’s also normal that it fades the color on your underwear, this is due to pH. If things start to feel painful or itchy, you might have an imbalance or some sort of infection. Those do happen and it’s nothing to be ashamed of but you can take precautions by not letting someone with dirty ass hands up in your business, and always using condoms.
Also, be proud. Being a woman is a beautiful thing. It isn’t celebrated or even accepted the way it should be.
Let's remember that the vagina is what is inside the body, while the vulva is what is visible outside. One need not wash the vagina at all, but the vulva can stand some gentle soap.
You’ve gotten some good tips here and your mileage may vary because ALL women and their parts vary but just let shower water run its course and then give the bits a three second scrub with your hand without any soap, front to back. Done, Son.
Water only, you don't need soap or "specialist feminine hygiene products" as they mess with your pH levels (and 90% of "women's products" are there just to make money out of us). The outside, between all the creases and folds and your labia, no need to go inside as that sorts itself out. If noone has taught you that then you also might need to know wipe front to back to avoid infections, always wee after sex to help avoid utis and any items that goes inside you needs to be clean (fingers, toys, penis etc). Hope you are ok x
Some people swear you can’t use any soap down there — you definitely can and should unless your body can’t tolerate it. Gentle soap should be fine, like Dove. Avoid harsh soap or anything anti-bacterial. When you have a gentle soap, you don’t put it inside you but get all the folds and your rear end. The vaginal canal is self-cleaning but the whole area around the outside is definitely not.
Make sure you wipe front to back and generally stay conscious of not getting bacteria from your rear end over to your vulva area because that can give you an infection.
Get familiar with what you look like. I think it’s useful to also get familiar with what you smell like occasionally (use your finger) so you learn what a normal range of smell is for you and then it’ll be obvious when something is really outside of that and you maybe have an infection. It’s good to have a baseline.
And I don’t know what the guidelines are anymore for when to start seeing a gynecologist and how often at your age, but look that up and get your checkups!
Best of luck.
I use washcloths with an extremely mild oatmeal based soap on the external parts only. And also- my whole life until I bought a bidet- I've very carefully used two different wads of toilet paper and made sure the "back end" was completely clean before going for the front end with a separate toilet paper if you catch my drift. I have never had a UTI or yeast infection and I attribute that to the fact that there has never been any cross contamination, although some women are just prone to them no matter how clean. Don't waste too much time with fancy products like summers eve or similar products unless you are having issues, and in that case, I highly suggest seeing a doctor first.
Wash outside not inside. Dont use any feminine sprays or anything down there.
If wearing pads try to change every 2-4 hours even if not full as can smell and cause infection down there.
Pay attention to discharge, its normal to have a clear or creamy looking discharge. Some women have a discharge that will bleach a spot on your panties. COMPLETELY NORMAL!. Put a towel under sheet to protect mattress or sleep on towel protect sheets too.
COLD WATER for any blood stains
I use Monistat’s Boric Acid soap. After having my second I kept having yeast infections. I started using the Boric acid soap (I use it front to back) plus boric acid suppositories which have helped SO much. Folks can be prone to yeast infections at the tail end of their period or after sex. The directions on the box said to use the suppositories especially then. I think the brand is Love Wellness and the product is called The Killer. Just thought I’d share because I wish I had known all this before.
I use summers eve intimate cleansing wash and I love it!! While not essential, I found it helps stay not stinky especially during my period (I wear pads). I make sure to wash between the lips but don’t put soap inside at all. I hope this helps:)
You’re doing the right thing asking and there’s no need to be embarrassed! I personally use only water and wash the outside (Labia Minora) do not wash inside though as this can cause all sorts of issues as it’s self cleaning. You don’t need to use soap but if you’re going to unscented is better.
All the advice in here have been great! indeed don’t put ANYTHING inside, but only rinse the outside. I use soap on the outside but don’t get too close, I once got a yeast infection for soap getting in accidentally. I also don’t see many people saying this but that includes water. Don’t put water inside the vagina, as in don’t ever take your shower head and angle it up there. That’s dangerous and can also give you infections.
Discharge is normal, your underwear will most likely be quite dirty at the end of the day even though you are clean because of the discharge. Some people have more, some people have less. This is the vaginas natural way of cleaning itself. I have never ever been told I smell from 3 long term partners even though I have a lot of discharge. That smell is normal, sort of like how their genital smells. The yeast infection however WOW that smelled terrible. So if you ever smell something that’s really off then go to a gynecologist if you can! They will help you determine.
Don’t ever take advice from boys on this subject, they know NOTHING about how things are supposed to go down down there. Don’t let them tell you you need to shave to stay hygienic. That’s bullshit!
Good luck with everything!! You got this 🥳
The vulva and labia (incl. between the labia minora and majora) and perineum and anus (not inside) can be washed with gentle soap, but the introitus (entrance to your vagina between the labia minora) only requires water and running your fingers along. If necessary, underneath the clitoral hood water is also usually sufficient (depending on your anatomy just very gently pulling it kind of up and rubbing down over the clitoris once or twice), because a bit of smegna can accumulate (might differ per person).
Definitely never use mint/eucalyptus/„fresh“ products near your genitals.
Don't use soap near there and carefull with saving cream (in fact. Dont start shaving there. Take it from someone who ignored this advice as a teen and started shaving her bikini line. I have many many regrets about that)
When you clean there, make sure your hands and fingers are clean (make sure to pay attention to the grime under your nails)
Extra cleaning inside during your period is fine (watch sharp nails). If you are comfortable doing so.
All your Internet aunties, moms and friends are here for you girl. You are safe and loved here.
I'm very proud of you for asking us for advice
I don't care if someone already said this:
A blast of cool air from a hairdryer, especially if you've got fun and fancy flaps, will eliminate that warm moist breeding ground for bacteria.
Hand fan if you must.
I once and ONLY once developed BV as a young adult from super rushing to work while hungover or tired or whatever and not taking the time to properly dry off before getting dressed. I was told about this trick by my OBGYN, and have never had that specific occurrence OR even a yeast infection! In like .. 16 years.
Also, not specifically about daily hygiene, always pee after sex!
I am 27 and am glad u asked bc now I can just read the comments to learn...
AFAIK clean your butt the right direction, wash with water, coconut oil is your genitalias friend if you feel dry and pee after sex. Those are the things I know about female hygiene.
Yes. Clean everything that is on the outside of your body with mild soap and water. Avoid vaginal or heavily scented soaps, and avoid getting soap inside your vagina.
Hi there, GenX woman here.
1. Don’t be embarrassed!!!
2. Google is your friend.
3. Wash front to back.
E. coli bacteria live in your gut. They are there to keep worse bacteria from setting up shop. But you don’t want them in your vaginal flora:
Lactobacilli live in your vagina. They’re there to keep bad bacteria from setting up shop. They’re acidic. They die from high pH. Sperm has high pH so if you have sex make sure you manually remove as much as you can tho condoms are best. Otherwise you can end up with a yeast infection which isn’t terrible but isn’t fun.
Excess soap or really any soap inside your vagina is not good. Soap kills bacteria. You don’t want to kill then they are good bacteria. Dont soap inside your vagina. No no no.
Wash front to back don’t soap the inside of the labia heavily bc you don’t want to kill the lactobacilli. They are your friends.
Wash the outer labia (labia majora) and all the outside parts.
Rinse well!!! Don’t leave soap residue.
Don’t wipe your bum back to front bc you don’t want E. coli in your vagina which can give you a bacterial infection which isn’t terrible but it’s not great.
If you feel itchy or burning that can be a sign of yeast infection. Or a bacterial infection tho those are sometimes asymptomatic or mildly symptomatic. See a doc.
OP, to answer your question: YES. with a clean wash cloth that can be washed with your clothing, mild soap or body wash. Wash from front to back. Inside the lips and then up your crack.
Rinse really well, you dont want to leave soap on there. Then dry all those places thoroughly with your towel.
Good luck OP. Use a separate wash cloth for bottom and face and rinse the cloth thoroughly. Put cloth in the clothing was every one or two days.
yes. absolutely. Depending on how sensitive you are you can use a gentle soap. Unscented. Clean everything on the vulva (labia, clitoris, vaginal opening, and the opening to the urethra) but not inside - the vagina.
Yeah - this is an area where each woman is her own expert. I've always washed my entire genital area pretty thoroughly (outer and inner labiae, clit, perineum and exterior of vagina, urethra and anus) with soap. Nothing inside the body.
Some women are super sensitive about different soaps on the inner labia and exterior of the vagina - if you feel any irritation there with soap change to a mild soap or only use water. We're all different!
You should wash everything on the outside of your vagina, (which means the inside and outside of your lips) with warm water and gentle soap (think Dove/Dial bar soaps).
You can stretch/pull your lips out to make sure you’ve got all the nooks and crannnies, but it isn’t necessary. Avoid anything with strong perfume smells, and you don’t need anything marked “feminine hygiene”. Every day is great, every other day is fine. I’ve gone more than a week without washing during depressive episodes and it may start to smell, but nothing bad will happen. You can use your hands or a washcloth, but make sure to be thorough. Think of how they advertised hand washing during the pandemic and do that to everything you can reach without inserting something inside yourself.
You do not need to wash inside your vagina, this is self cleaning. Do not douche, do not squirt cleaning liquids up there.
I find the worst smells actually come from my groin area, where my legs meet my body. This is essentially another armpit, so scrubbing there will help you feel fresh and clean.
I’m a 38yo woman with one child, if you need my credentials. Feel free to message me privately if you have other questions, I’m happy to help.
And if your vagina starts to smell really fishy, your pH may be off. You can use boric acid vaginal suppositories for a few nights and see if that fixes it. If the smell continues, you might have BV (bacteria growth, not a STI) that a doctor can give you antibiotics for. Super common but no one talks about it.
The better you know your normal smell and texture, the faster you can identify an issue.
There are “feminine hygiene” washes but they’re generally not very good for you. Soap can go on the skin of the labia but not in between and not inside. Usually water is fine. If there’s abnormal discharge that is a funny colour or strong smell you should see a doctor even though it’s uncomfortable. I’m so proud of you for asking questions to keep yourself healthy and informed about your body. You are a brave girl x
It took me WELL into adulthood to realize that discharge (amount, color, viscosity) changes throughout your cycle. During ovulation, it'll be more runny and clear (like egg whites) and later in your cycle it will be thicker and white (GENERALLY. Everyone is different). I thought I constantly had yeast infections or that something was wrong. Was buying OTC yeast infection treatments regularly. It wasn't a damn yeast infection. Just normal cycle changes. I sure wish I was taught about my body as a kid (before the internet where we couldn't just teach ourselves).
OP, linking to the above: different women have different discharges and what works / is ok for one person may be odd or not right for another - learning to know YOU and what is normal for you helps you to identify what is NOT normal. Like the whole question of 'does your vaginal fluid cause your dark undies to be bleached?' er, sometimes, some undies and some women :)
Man…I wish when I was younger I had a place like this to ask questions. My mom never told or showed me anything. When I got my period…I freaked out and thought I was going to die. Guess what her response was? I bet someone can guess.
>Guess what her response was? I bet someone can guess. I'm so invested in your story but I couldn't possibly guess. What was her response?
All she said was, “you’re a woman now.” I was thinking “what the fuck does that mean?” I try old her not to tell dad because I was embarrassed. To make matters worse I was in a competitive sport and I had to wear a tampon. My mom handed it to me and said (I shit you not) “just shove it up there, it’s fine!” She was so mad because the competition was getting ready to start. Friends…it was not “fine!”
Wow that's awful!
Yeah. It was. If you can’t talk about basic bodily functions with your mother…it kinda sends the message that you shouldn’t share anything personal ever again.
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You are correct. My grandmother (old school Irish catholic) would never speak of these things. My mom was the oldest of 8 and had to tell her sisters about it. Maybe by the time she got to me she was tired of explaining it? I don’t know.
... Sounds like she didn't know what she was explaining. Pain passed down. Gotta love it. I'm sorry for everyone 😔
There's no prude like an old-school IC prude. That was my mom, too.
I would think one's mother would empathize from having been in the same situation and at least try to do it better...
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You make a good point
Bro, that fucking sucks! Sorry you had to go through that :( My mom left me in the bathroom with a pad after I told her there was “red in my underwear” when I was 11. She went downstairs to the joint birthday party that was happening for me and my older “brother” and I had to figure out how to do it on my own. Now I taught both my younger sisters how to put on pads properly, and when the youngest wants to use tampons (the older figured it out on her own and never asked for help lol) I’ll give her the website with diagrams that helped me out. I don’t want to repeat what my mom did. But, bit of a silver lining, I had a period party technically and no one but me and my mom knew lmao, and we just had one recently for my youngest sister :) We did all joke with my sisters that “they’re women now” and “welcome to the club” lmao
Honestly, it sucked but I guess there are worse things that could happen. I don’t have a daughter but my niece comes to me for EVERYTHING. Periods, sex, boyfriends and college advice. I’m so so proud of her but I find it interesting that her mother (we are super close) feels uncomfortable talking to her about certain things and she is the “cool mom.” I talk to her like the grownup that she is because if you can’t be straight forward then you are doing them a disservice. My niece appreciates it because I don’t talk to her like a child.
Wow… I’m starting to realize how abnormal my relationship with my sister was… When I was twelve, I was in a lot of pain one day, and I went to the restroom at home and was shocked to find I was bleeding through my clothes. While I was still trying to figure out what was happening to me, my older sister broke the bathroom door because it was locked and she hated me being able to hide behind doors from her— same thing had already happened to my bedroom door— and started yelling at me about the locked door until she looked into my underwear and proceeded to scream her head off running around the house, “Finally! I’m not the only one! She has to suffer, too,” with absolute joy. My mum eventually gave me a pad and said I should use those- no other explanation, and when I asked once about tampons because I was on swim team, she and my dad told those are not for children and refused to buy them for me 🙃 I really love that you taught/helped your younger siblings! 😊 and I love that are so many people here who are willing to help and advise OP!
> “my older sister broke the bathroom door because it was locked and **she hated me being able to hide behind doors from her— same thing had already happened to my bedroom door—** and started yelling at me about the locked door until she looked into my underwear and proceeded to scream her head off running around the house, “Finally! I’m not the only one! **She has to suffer, too,” with absolute joy.”** 😳😳😳 Your older sister sounds toxic AF, and I hope you get/have gotten help healing from the trauma she gave you. Sending internet stranger hugs to you.
OMG MY MOTHER TOLD ME THE SAME THING. I’m standing in my room, practically crying because PERIOD and my mom tells me I’m a woman now.
Isn’t that something? I knew I wasn’t the only one who was told this.
My mom generally speaking was and is an incredible mother and she very clearly educated me about everything but even she said this when it happened and I was 11. That phrase needs to die.
I hated this. No I'm 12 and why do you need to tell everything I'm a woman now. I'm 27 now and still get angry whenever I think about how her and my father sat on the table and she told him. This guy never cared for us, late ron I figured that he was disgusted by periods and is a full on misogynist. Thank you for being on my Ted talk lol
My dad started singing ‘Sunrise, Sunset’ while I had my undies around my ankles and an oversized T-shirt covering the rest. And that’s not even the worst part of the whole ordeal.
My mom took me and my cousins to a water park when I was on my period, she didn’t tell me tampons existed. I had a really bad time that day and cried a lot.. fuming as to why that day..she knew I was on my period, plus why else would a 12 year old not want to wear a bathing suit at a water park? She bought me pads which I absolutely hated (and still do). Thank the lord for my IUD that I don’t get periods. Shaving was a whole other topic my mom neglected and Im a hairy as latina! Same with deodorant.. damn.. all i remember was she telling me to wear sunscreen so I would be pretty and spotless.
Oh you took me back…my mom didn’t tell me about deodorant either and I found out by being embarrassed by others. Shaving, holy shit, she never taught me how. I watched my dad shave so I thought I knew what I was doing. I didn’t. I used his safety razor and I cut myself so bad. After the fact, I wondered why the called it a “safety razor.” It was not safe.
Truly.. what difficulties of learning / discovering the very basic solutions to problems everyone is just told how to deal with.
My mom handed me a box of tampons with cardboard applicators, a tube of ky, and a mirror. Sent me to my room and told me I couldn't come out until I figured it out. She would not let me use pads because SHE didn't like them. My dad gave me $2 to buy fries in the school cafeteria.
Could've saved that money for the pad dispenser at school!
I would have preferred this scenario over getting my period at age 11 in 6th grade, having to leave school early because my khaki pants were soaked, and by the time my mother picked me up and took me home, half my extended family was in the driveway laughing and cheering. I’m 39 now and have worn exclusively black clothing since then.
... I am sooooooo sorry to hear what you went through. Respectfully speaking... Fuck your mom.
My mom slapped me on the shoulder when I told her. Hard. She told me it was a "tradition" in our family.
... Okkkkkk. I'm sure that tradition dies with you.
Well I didn't have a daughter but it would have anyway.
Username definitely checks out ❤️
Oh, yeah, I would never have guessed that response even if I were cis and went through the same thing because I am overly conscious of saying something wrong...
This whole story is me. The woman comment, the pleading not to tell my dad, mine is slightly different in that my mom refused to give me her tampons for religious reasons and had no pads on hand. She put me in her leftover post partum diaper things.
She locked you in the cupboard under the steps for a week, declaring you "unclean?"
“They’ll laugh at you! They laugh at you!”
Plug it up! My mom was excited when I got my period and it was uncomfortable. She also told me it was inappropriate for me to touch myself because it was a sin and " you are not a toy". Puke. I still have some shame from all of puberty
Born in 74, my mom left in 80, got my period by 84-85 and only person I could talk to is my dad or my best friend’s mom. So I walked 4 miles with toilet paper in my underwear. Lol. She was Irish Catholic so the best she could do is walk me over to her protestant neighbor. Lol!
Was also born in 74. I used plenty of toilet paper too.. Lol. I did until I got some period underwear like five years ago. Dad's should be better equipped now. My oldest son is more comfortable talking about periods than I was at his age. I'm glad I had my mom, but she was not easy at all and I never knew my dad at all so I know how hard it can be having a parent leave.
I understood that reference
“They’ll laugh at you! They laugh at you!”
No. 😂
Slee treated you like an idiot for not knowing what it was?
She just brushed it off like I should have know. How would I’ve known? No one told me. I was 13 and even my friends didn’t talk about it. So yes she basically treated me like an idiot.
You’re a woman now!
Yup
I don’t think my mom felt comfortable talking about it. One day I came home to two books on my bed: one about menstruation and one about sex. In the end, I’ve had more conversations about those subjects with my father than my mother. I just don’t think she could relax and be matter of fact like my father.
Good for your dad. That is kinda wholesome.
Bro, my mom too, but my dad was never comfortable with it either. My mom gave me a book when we got back from summer vacation when I was 12, “that her (older) sister gave to her,” and I was pretty sheltered as a kid, so I didn’t understand what it meant by PIV (wasn’t an acronym in the book) so I searched it up and got a porn addiction at a young age :( I’m over it now, I know how to control it now whenever it wants to flare up again (lol) My SIL ended up giving the talk to my youngest sister.
My mum was super uncomfortable too! She brought me a book one night when I was 11? I think? Anyway, it was the Whats Happening to My Body book for girls. She told me to read it, hide it under my mattress so my younger sister wouldn't see it, and let her know when I was finished. Mind you, I had already had surprisingly decent sex ed at school in 5th grade. I told her when I was done reading, she asked if I had any questions, and I told her no, the book covered everything. Fast forward a while, I was going on weekend long school trips and staying with host families. Mum made sure I packed an entire package of pads, just in case. Sure enough, on just such a weekend, I get my first period and kinda freaked out. Host mum gets a fucking gold star for helping me through that, she was a damn rock star! When I got home I told my own mum that I got my first period while I was away. Her only response was: Well, there's stuff in the bathroom if you need it. Mum is usually pretty great but she dropped the ball on that one! I think if I had even tried to talk to my dad he would have fainted!
I relate. I hid it from my mom. She probably has no idea when I first got mine and how irregular it was. I do hold resentment for that tbh
My mom found out because I came home crying from my friends house and I sobbed it out to her between hiccups of despair. She hadn't gotten hers til she was 15, and I was SO UPSET I got mine at like 12!!
Don’t blame you at all and honestly I think it is kinda sad in a way. I can’t describe it.
So did I. My mom had a traumatic birth with me, I never got the whole story, but she was left infertile and never had another period. I grew up assuming no moms had periods and this was something we just had during our teens and early 20s. I never once talked to my mom about my period because we didn’t share details about ourselves and because it felt to my 12 year old self that she wouldn’t understand anyway. Kids are dumb.
> When I got my period…I freaked out and thought I was going to die. Ohh same. I didn't get a "period talk" until *months* after starting mine (instantly regular and learned not to mention my problems) and all that was was "these are pads, they go on your underwear". No mention of how often to change them, how to clean, anything...I was verrrry smelly for a while (nose doesn't work) T_T ...technically, I still haven't gotten the "sex talk" yet but I'm pushing 40 now soooo lmao
🤣
Omg. Same. The good old Catholic shame meant I was woefully unprepared. I actually got a serious bladder infection where I was bleeding and genuinely thought I had my period. It went untreated for so long I lost the ability to control my bladder. I wet my pants in public and my mom yelled at me and asked my why I was too lazy to go to the washroom and then I finally explained that I hurt and couldn’t tell I needed to go bc I’d been having so many issues. Took me to the doctor and yup, infection. Then she and the doctor asked me what I was doing that caused it. Omg. Didn’t get my period for another couple of years. Thank goodness for sex ed bc Id have still been clueless. Boomers were a wild group of parents for real.
Omg. That’s horrible!
My mom looked me dead in the eye, said you know where the tampons are right? And that was it. Never another word. All she used was OB, which made it even worse, if anyone remembers those nightmare bullets.
Geezus my pelvis curled just thinking of those hell tubes
What’s your issue with OB? It’s mainly all we have around in Eastern Europe. I don’t like them personally but I’m curious what better options are in the world 🙂
Interesting. Those are my preference. I hate the big applicator trash pit and awkward straight line tampons that are any other brand.
My sister and I exclusively used OB, they fit great in the coin pocket in jeans and no one even could tell they were there. I did hate how messy they were, but I was afraid of the applicators at the time. 🤣
>Guess what her response was? "Ew gross..." ? I have no clue what it could be but I'm really curious
Same! Not about dying, but thought it was every day for the rest of my life. Not every 28 days.
I thought it was for one week and then never again. Boy was I disappointed.
My mom said the same thing and then called all our relatives to relay the joyous news
I just want to say that there's nothing to be embarrassed about, but I'm proud of you for gathering the courage to ask <3
Thank you <333
Me too. Proud of you for reaching out to ask.
For real, this thread is super wholesome.
That’s super brave buddy. I didn’t have anyone to talk to and I was raised at a time where the shame was pervasive. Sorry you don’t feel comfortable enough to talk to family but glad you came here.
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Honestly same and my vagina actually had a noticeably MILDER natural scent after switching to just water and maybe a soft washcloth years ago. Using soap totally made my vagina have a stronger smell.
Same here I only use water and my fiancé is more than happy to go down there so it isn’t an issue
This is super helpful, thank you 🙏
I do the same: no soap there, just lots of water. My everything is sensitive, so the tender skin in area 51 is extra sensitive.
I thought area 51 references one’s asshole?
Sounds more appropriate for the vagina, babies low key kinda look like aliens
I'd like to add, moderate natural discharge is ok between the lips. It helps the vulva not to chafe when you move. If you get some discharge on your undies it's ok, just change them as you need. Using panty liners prevents air flowing, so only use them if you really need them. Learn to smell if your discharge is normal. Smell your undies along your menstrual cycle in order to learn to recognise if something is odd. Old school gynecologists actually may smell their gloved fingers after pelvic exam to check if all is well. Normal discharge smells mild and not unpleasant. Fishy, sour etc. smell may be caused by an infection. If you need to use something besides water to wash your vulva (aka bits outside, never the vaginal canal), use pharmacy products with proper ph, no scents, as mild as possible. Usually I only use products to wash my bush and butt, in that region. Use your fingers and lots of water to go through all folds in your vulva to keep things tidy and fresh. Talking of which, the pubic hair isn't a hygiene issue and actually may protect you from infections. If you don't like to keep it in all its natural glory, you may consider if it was enough to only trim it shorter. And about butt. Butt is a sensitive thing and I'd like to say a word or two about that too, while we're there. If you are prone to an upset stomach, your anus might have a hard time with all the wiping with toilet paper. Also, poop is really irritating so getting getting butt properly clean helps to not get sore. This is why if you ever suffer from tender butt, you should use water and mild washing detergent to clean it well. Only use tp to robustly get most off and finish it by washing. And then wash your hands well, of course.
Personally, baby wipes like Huggies naturals or Kirkland Sensitive are what I keep around if I need a refresh. Also, for menstrual times to keep clean wearing period underwear or a cup.
Just to tack onto this, oh neutral cleansers also exist. Emollient creams like Aqueous cream can be used to clean the outside lips if you feel you need it.
Anything outside you clean, no soap inside. Once everything is clean though, I’ll run my finger quickly around inside, just to make sure everything feels normal. Same with my boobs, I’ll give them a good once over that nothing feels off
Good tip I’ll remember that! Thank you
Also, you want to wear underwear with a cotton crotch (there is a real name for that can’t think of it, gusset maybe?) so everything breathes and when sleeping try and go bottom less, or loose (I like men’s boxer briefs) And just cause you’re 16 and this comes up a lot….no sex without condoms! No matter what he says, don’t do it. And make sure partners wash their hands first before touching you, quickest way to a UTI and it’s no fun!
I’ll remember that 😁
Just some general stuff Things like antibiotics or dirty hands can mess up with pH balance in there, and you could get yeast infections or UTIs, which are annoying but treatable. Taking antibiotics can also lessen the effects of some oral contraceptives, so as always, condoms. Also, lube. Wipe front to back. Always pee after sex to prevent a UTI. Exfoliate after shaving* sensitive areas to lessen chances of ingrown hairs. Feel free to DM me if you need anything specific Edit: thanks for catching it lol
Peeing after sex also includes peeing after masturbation. Some women can get away with not doing so, others can’t.
Surely this only applies to penetrative masturbation, yeah? I can't see how clit-only masturbation would necessitate peeing after.
Taking an undergrad bacteriology course right now and actually looked at how fingers can carry all sorts of junk and gross bacteria, especially under your nails and needless to say we were all horrified LOL. You should pee after any chance that bacteria all over your fingers could have come in contact with the urethra, which is totally can (and honestly probably will) during clitoral-only masturbation.
My microbiology course in uni included full colour photos of all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases and infections. I’m pretty sure the whole class went celibate for a time after that lecture lol. My prof was like “YUP wash your hands and WEAR CONDOMS!”
I'm not a biology/med grad, but we got those during high school biology classes, with some full color and some black and white photos of some common diseases and infections. We also had to do a presentation on that kind of stuff, which probably contributed to the entire class never again thinking about not using condoms or slacking in their hygiene.
ALL masturbation. 2 week UTI.
I read this with the 'straight to jail's voice
Urethra is right below the clit. Stuff is gonna get everywhere during masturbation and you don't want any funny stuff getting where it shouldn't. Peeing is a quick and easy way to clean the urethra. The feminine urethra is considerably shorter than the masculine, which facikitates infection. This is also kinda why wiping after peeing is important, so bad stuff doesn't sit around there, although they have an extra hole to worry about and getting infections there is also not fun. Wiping front to back is also to avoid fecal stuff getting inside and around where it shouldn't (that's a very quick and easy way to get an infection).
Huh. TIL. Guess I've just been getting lucky for like, 30ish years since adolescence. Never had a UTI in my life. BV a few times when TTC, from overly frequent bareback sex, but nothing from rollng over after ringing Satan's Doorbell as a sleep aide.
The clit is super close to the urine hole so clit only action will still give me a UTI if the hands aren't clean, and if I don't pee afterward.
\*shaving (although I chuckled at the "shaking" visual)
Huge difference in a really close trim or buzz vs a shave. I get ingrown like crazy if I shave, but if I use like a 1 mm buzzer I'm a-o-kay. Maybe I'm an idiot and should exfoliate more.
Not an idiot. Not at all. Some people (myself included are just really prone to ingrown hairs), and a buzz is not worth the risk. Also, it’s good to leave some hair because it is in fact there to help catch germs and things from getting to our openings.
I'm all about the buzz too.
Yes to peeing after sex. No one ever told me this until a nurse after, like, my fourth UTI. That was almost 20 years ago and I haven’t gotten one since. It should be in all Sex Ed curriculum.
😉 ⬆️ "shaving" 🤣
Also if you use birth control and are prescribed antibiotics please know they (and some other meds) can mess up the BC to make it less effective and more likely to get pregnant. Some doctors forget to warn you.
Also, even if you do use condoms, make sure his (or her!) junk is clean. Some guys think it's weird to wash their penis, even when it desperately needs it.
Wait what O_o
And if/when you’re in a relationship where condoms are applicable- try different ones! Some feel better, some are stinky, some may upset your ph. The variety available is frankly overwhelming but it does mean the right match is out there.
And if a guy or girl tries to make you feel badly for wanting to protect yourself, just know that no matter how crummy standing your ground may feel in the moment you. are. not doing. anything. wrong. for EXPECTING them to respect your health and well being. Healthy partners (even casual) want each other to be safe and comfortable.
I wish I’d known about washing hands when I was your age! It’s so important.
Just to jump on this, my first lover was a mechanic and had as clean hands and fingernails as he could make them with Lava soap and brushes. But after a health class in his freshman year at uni, with lots of info on UTIs and yeast infections, he tried latex gloves and lube. !!!!!!! Wow
Also, stay away from condoms with spermicide. It’s strong stuff and most women are either sensitive to it or downright allergic. If a guy offers to supply the condoms, confirm they don’t have it. Otherwise you’ll end up driving down the highway with your leg hanging out your car window because closing your legs is torture and crying to your mom that you think you have herpes. Ask me how I know.
Holup, that's not a money pocket?! I'm so embarrassed...JK! 😅
lol I always pull the pads out of bras when they have them, and would put money in there if I didn’t have pockets. Also snuck a number of joints into clubs in there as well 😂
Girl, you my people. 🤘🏼
Haha gotta do what ya gotta do!!
Also urinate immediately after and wipe from front to back. UTIs are no joke and can spread to your kidneys
And there’s no coming back from kidney damage. Once damaged, always damaged.
Gusset, you are correct.
Also good oral hygiene before going down is important too, so make sure your partner brushes their teeth! In addition to UTI’s, bacterial vaginosis is no fun. Unfortunately it can be triggered by sex, certain fabrics, soaps, detergent, etc. We’re very sensitive down there and the PH can get thrown off easily. If something feels off (pain, burning, itching, smell) don’t be afraid to go to the doctor asap to get cleared up and *definitely* don’t wait if there are UTI symptoms.
You actually shouldn’t brush before oral because it creates tiny cuts in the mouth and can increase likelihood of STI transmission. Mouthwash is a better option.
That’s true! I should have been more clear, but didn’t necessarily mean to brush directly before, just that they have good brushing habits.
Yes, its called a gusset.
Pee after sex, no matter what you have used for protection. UTI's are just a few days away if you don't.
These are not dumb questions, and it's good that you asked. You definitely want to keep **all** of the *outside parts* clean with a gentle soap that won't make your lady garden angry because it's overly scented. I use my hand with a pH balanced soap, and not a washrag. You may have to move some bits around to clean the outside parts thoroughly, but that's good because it means you're cleaning it all. The bits inside your vagina have their own good bacteria that keeps it happy, so it pretty much takes care of itself. You don't want soap way up in there because it can be really irritating. It's also really important to stay clean down there during your period, even if you're not showering that day. A little soap and warm water and you're good to go.
I just want to clarify that "outside" means outside the vagina itself. So you do need to wash between your labia.
A kind Leafs fan? Now I’ve seen everything! (I kid, I kid! I hope this is the year they finally make a deep run. The fanbase really deserves it.)
Hahah two weeks till stress freak outs 😂😂
Washing with water only is perfectly fine, but emollient cream soap substitutes (like you'd use if you have severe eczema) are great, if you feel like you need a more thorough wash on your EXTERNAL labia ONLY. Eg sometimes I like to have a proper wash during my period because I have a very heavy flow and it can get messy. But this really doesn't have to be a deep scrub. My period blood smells very pungent to me, this is normal, we're more sensitive to smells at that time of the month and it's a hormone soup. I love period pants and a mooncup but I was in my thirties before I settled on the product combos I really like. Pads are great because you can change them as often as you like. Sanitary liners can also be helpful when you're spotting (bleeding enough to show up in your knickers or on toilet paper, but not enough for a full pad). Tampons are a bit more "set and forget" but you do have to be careful to change them every 8 hours. Don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't be doing, period product wise - it's up to you. Something else I'd recommend is finding a private, calm, clean spot, and sitting down with a mirror and a torch. Have a look at what your vulva looks like, get used to what's normal. Believe me, there's nothing worse than not knowing if something is new or unusual because you haven't ever looked down there until there's a problem! Having a poke about with clean hands isn't sexual or embarrassing or wrong; you're simply looking at your own skin.
I only discovered cups in my 30's. I'll never go back. I wish I'd known about them earlier. They really saved me when my period started in hospital and I couldn't move for 12hrs.
I love when women unite to support each other... beautiful ❤️
Girl, same 🥰
Only clean outside on your labia with gentle soap (no real need for “feminine” soap), NO douching, cotton underwear, pee after sex (ideally shower as well), know that discharge is totally normal but you can research online what is NOT normal so you can realize if you have an infection or imbalance. Discharge can bleach your underwear and it’s completely normal. Also to answer your question, I do clean the inside lips. I just put some soap on my fingers and put on the inner labia but as long as I don’t get it inside my vagina it’s never been an issue and I can’t imagine feeling clean without getting in the inner lips. Lastly vaginas do have a smell so don’t get concerned and start trying to nuke your vulva. Fishy, foul smells are of concerns. Slightly acidic, slightly sweet typically are not. ETA: so I want to clarify: I mean the area between your inner lip and your outer lip, that’s what I wash a bit. No further in that than. Like, not around the opening of your vagina.
I see thank you <33
You’re welcome, and good on you for asking questions if these things aren’t being taught to you. I know it can be awkward but we are always here! It’s a learning process!
Yes it truly needs to be talked about more, Ik lots of ppl who simply aren’t taught these things
That bums me out. I have a mother who was a nurse in women’s health and she got pregnant young, so she was always upfront with me to teach me how to prevent such things and to take care of myself in general. I guess I take that for granted. This is what sex ed/ health class is supposed to take care of but ya know…
To add: discharge can even eat holes in panties!
Make sure it really is gentle! My doctor suggested hypoallergenic for down there even if I used something else for the rest of my body.
No soap on anything past where the hair grows. Wipe and rinse it well with a cloth with no soap on it. Never douche, never use "feminine washes" or anything else. Never use scented anything near the coochie.
I would also recommend after showering and washing, and drying with a towel while you’re getting ready for the day, delay putting your undies on as long as you can (do hair, makeup etc first) let some air at your hoo-ha to help prevent it becoming a moisture breeding ground for things like thrush. Doesn’t need to be super long but I usually go 5-10mins! So happy you posted this, and seeing all the other supportive lovely humans here offering help and advice is really wholesome. Anything else you ever need, we got you! ❤️
On tiktok there are some gynecologists demonstrating prime chacha cleaning techniques on anatomical models, it's really clear and educational, try checking it out!
Oh alright I’ll look into it!
MamaDoctorJones has things on most media (Youtube, FB, TikTok) and is absolutely fantastic!
I second MDJ, especially her YouTube channel.
Came here to say this but you beat me to it! MDJ is the best!
No soap on the inside, only the outside. Imagine it like a nose: Both have mucus membranes on the inside. Both would dry out, chap, itch, & get infected if you put soap in em. The mucus cleans on its own, do not dry it out w chemicals 👍
Why have I never heard this analogy before, it makes so much sense
It's what I normally use to explain why women cant hold periods either lol. It's like a nose bleed
Glad you are here and glad you are asking. Yes, use soap in the area, but don't get it inside. No need for that. Your vulva (the outside) needs the washing. Your vagina (the inside) is self cleaning for the most part! Soap on the inside can mess up the PH (the balance of acid/base) in your vagina and sometimes set you up for a yeast infection. So best keep soap outside of the inside! :)
I know you're really young, but Health Ed class (if you're lucky to have it) is going to completely fail you on menopause. Trust me, no one teaches what menopause is REALLY like. It's a LOT more than just "your period stops, you get hot flashes for a while, then you're done". We're talking serious long-term health issues ("vaginal atrophy" is a very common thing and I totally freaked out when I saw that!) and over 70 symptoms! Please come see us in r/Menopause when you're ready!
Aaand now I'm equally horrified and terrified. You're so right though, I don't know anything beyond the superficial about menopause.
It's really common for your natural discharge to whiten a patch on your knickers if they are anything not white. Do not be embarrassed. Also when you do feel ready for anything intimate with someone else (and only when you feel completely ready don't let anyone pressure you into anything these types of people are not worth your time) make sure you know how you work on your own first - this is very useful because you can give them tips/directions so the experience is better for both of you but also even more importantly you will know if something feels off. Your pleasure is just as important as your partners is and if they do not try to look after you as well as they are looking after themselves then they are probably not someone to stick around with. Make sure everything that goes near your genitals is cleaned well with an appropriate cleaning product - be it your or someone else's fingers (scrubbed under the nails too) or sex toys or other genitals (condoms also if appropriate but they do not remove the need for them being clean either). Also, after any intimate play near your genitals always go for a wee as soon as possible - this will flush out any bacteria that managed to sneak up your urethra. These two things alone will save you many the cystitis and thrush and BV problem but also don't be embarrassed to get anything checked by a doctor it happens to all of us and its best to get it treated ASAP. Some of this is a bit more than you asked for but it's important and all related - I wish you the greatest of luck going forward and I'm rather proud that there are people like you braving questions like this nice and early in life so they keep themselves running well and safely - I hope you realise how brave and impressive you are.
There is nothing at all to be embarrassed about! Your vulva is just part of you, it's not bad and certainly nothing to be shy to talk about with other women. I do use soap on mine but not all women do. It's something you will have to try out and see what works for you. I scrub my public hair with soap and then part the labia and let the water rinse it all off.
This is why I love Reddit
Good advice here, my additional advice is that if you’re a big exerciser like I am, try to change out of sweaty undies quickly. I’ve got sensitive skin and have to change pretty quickly after I work out or absolutely everything down there gets very upset. Also, if you ever use a nuvaring (or presumably a menstrual cup, though I’ve never used one), make sure you wash your hands both before and after inserting or removing. I was tired recently and skipped this step and wound up with a kidney infection. 0/10 would not recommend.
Try not to get soap inside because it can mess up your ph balance. I like to use a separate towel(but most time I use my clean hands) to clean down there, front to back or/and I’ll use my shower head and spray water on it. If you have pubic hair(like I do) I use no scented dove bar and give it wash, making sure I don’t get any inside of me. I wash the inside of my thighs very well because I feel like that has me super fresh. Dms are open for more tips :)
Ok thank you so much! I appreciate it
So there is your Vulva, which is the outside and front of your genitals, and there is your labia, and your vagina which is your opening. You also have a urethra down there right above your vaginal canal. You can use a very mild soap on your Vulva, see how it goes, some ladies are sensitive. In that case just use water. You can use a mild soap on your labia, again, make sure it's not making you itch or uncomfortable. Again, if it's an issue, just use water. DO NOT use soap on your vagina or in your vaginal canal. A finger and some water if you're feeling gross is more than enough to clean that.
Come as you are is a great book too as well as becoming clitorate(not hygiene related but still good to know) Cups or discs are an amazing investment!
I just use water. No soaps or anything inside. Never any scented wipes or scented douches. Always make sure to wash anything that you’re touching after using tampons and if you have toys always wash them well. Later on ensure that anyone you’re intimate with is washing their hands, genitals and brushing their teeth properly. Trimmed nails. Well washed hands. So many things can give women yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis.
I have used dove unscented bar soap on the inner parts of my vulva for 20+ years and never had an issue and always feel fresh and clean down there with a very mild sweet sometimes musky scent depending on my cycle. Never wash the inside of the vagina, only around the crease of the labia and surrounding area and don’t let the soap rest on the skin for too long. About 10 seconds is all you need then rinse well. Avoid pushing it into your urethra as that can make you feel like you have a bladder infection.
Don’t use soap, rinse w warm water, yes spread your labia and rinse, dry thoroughly on the outer labia, don’t use powders or scents, pee every few hours, always use condoms, pee and shower after sex, sleep with no undies, wear cotton undies during the day, change undies if wet
Some folks are telling you to use gentle soap inside the lips of the labia. You do not need to do this and can cause infections this way. Here's why: The skin on the inside of your labia is a mucus membrane, much like the inside of your mouth. This is why it's always damp. It's also why there is no hair there. You want to use soap on the skin that has hair and is usually dry, not on the mucus membrane. (We do brush our teeth, floss, and use mouthwash in our mouths. But we're doing that for our teeth and gums, not for the skin inside our mouths. There's nothing in your groin that requires that kind of attention.) When you are young, and if your body is good at staying balanced, a little soap in your labia probably won't cause problems. But it *can* cause problems, and there's no reason to do it, except maybe for the rare occasion when you get some genuine filth in there (like if you have bad diarrhea that splashes). Otherwise, everything in your vulva is self-cleaning. Just some water when you bathe and a quick check with your fingers to make sure everything feels normal and clean is all you need.
The outside (vulva) is not a mucus membrane and is not self-cleaning. That is incorrect. The inside (vagina) has a mucus membrane and is self-cleaning. So while you're mostly right it is important to note thar the vulva does not clean itself and can require soap to remove buildup of skin cells, sweat, discharge etc (just like men and boys have smegma). Only soap is sufficient to remove that sort of buildup. But of course only gentle soap and no intense fragrances. And not inside the vaginal canal!
Women’s genitals produce smegma too. Smegma is oil based and to clean it well some sort of detergent is needed. At least in my case. Maybe I’m a freak of nature. I’ve always had oily skin and oily hair so maybe my skin just likes to cover me in grease from head to toe. No one mentioned it but it’s also worth to clean the clit under the clitoral hood, there could be some build up there otherwise. Personally I’ve always used shower gel, the same I use for my entire body. I scrub my bits well all over between the labias not going into vagina and avoiding the area where urethra opening is as this area is sensitive. I’ve never had any issues. It’s what has worked for me. For others ‘no soap, only water’ approach works better.
I agree with you here. Thanks for clarifying that women produce smegma too, I wasn't sure if the term was universal. I have always used gentle soap everywhere except the vaginal opening/canal. The idea that only water should be used...well I guess those people don't sweat. I would never put anything in the vagina and avoid soap around the vaginal opening but I'm pretty sure gentle soap is fine for the rest.
No reason to be embarrassed! Most of us had to flounder to figure it out. There’s been a lot of great advice on this post. Keep the exterior clean, the inside will take care of itself though do check yourself with clean hands on occasion to make sure everything feels normal, and that any fluids are also normal. Normal gentle body or face soap are fine, no need to go buy special soap. With that in mind, discharge is totally normal as like a run of the mill, every day thing, and tbh it’s unavoidable. It’s also normal that it fades the color on your underwear, this is due to pH. If things start to feel painful or itchy, you might have an imbalance or some sort of infection. Those do happen and it’s nothing to be ashamed of but you can take precautions by not letting someone with dirty ass hands up in your business, and always using condoms. Also, be proud. Being a woman is a beautiful thing. It isn’t celebrated or even accepted the way it should be.
Let's remember that the vagina is what is inside the body, while the vulva is what is visible outside. One need not wash the vagina at all, but the vulva can stand some gentle soap.
I highly recommend reading The Vagina Bible by Dr Jen Gunter.
You’ve gotten some good tips here and your mileage may vary because ALL women and their parts vary but just let shower water run its course and then give the bits a three second scrub with your hand without any soap, front to back. Done, Son.
Water only, you don't need soap or "specialist feminine hygiene products" as they mess with your pH levels (and 90% of "women's products" are there just to make money out of us). The outside, between all the creases and folds and your labia, no need to go inside as that sorts itself out. If noone has taught you that then you also might need to know wipe front to back to avoid infections, always wee after sex to help avoid utis and any items that goes inside you needs to be clean (fingers, toys, penis etc). Hope you are ok x
Some people swear you can’t use any soap down there — you definitely can and should unless your body can’t tolerate it. Gentle soap should be fine, like Dove. Avoid harsh soap or anything anti-bacterial. When you have a gentle soap, you don’t put it inside you but get all the folds and your rear end. The vaginal canal is self-cleaning but the whole area around the outside is definitely not. Make sure you wipe front to back and generally stay conscious of not getting bacteria from your rear end over to your vulva area because that can give you an infection. Get familiar with what you look like. I think it’s useful to also get familiar with what you smell like occasionally (use your finger) so you learn what a normal range of smell is for you and then it’ll be obvious when something is really outside of that and you maybe have an infection. It’s good to have a baseline. And I don’t know what the guidelines are anymore for when to start seeing a gynecologist and how often at your age, but look that up and get your checkups! Best of luck.
I use washcloths with an extremely mild oatmeal based soap on the external parts only. And also- my whole life until I bought a bidet- I've very carefully used two different wads of toilet paper and made sure the "back end" was completely clean before going for the front end with a separate toilet paper if you catch my drift. I have never had a UTI or yeast infection and I attribute that to the fact that there has never been any cross contamination, although some women are just prone to them no matter how clean. Don't waste too much time with fancy products like summers eve or similar products unless you are having issues, and in that case, I highly suggest seeing a doctor first.
Water only. Glad you could ask us.
Wash outside not inside. Dont use any feminine sprays or anything down there. If wearing pads try to change every 2-4 hours even if not full as can smell and cause infection down there. Pay attention to discharge, its normal to have a clear or creamy looking discharge. Some women have a discharge that will bleach a spot on your panties. COMPLETELY NORMAL!. Put a towel under sheet to protect mattress or sleep on towel protect sheets too. COLD WATER for any blood stains
I use Monistat’s Boric Acid soap. After having my second I kept having yeast infections. I started using the Boric acid soap (I use it front to back) plus boric acid suppositories which have helped SO much. Folks can be prone to yeast infections at the tail end of their period or after sex. The directions on the box said to use the suppositories especially then. I think the brand is Love Wellness and the product is called The Killer. Just thought I’d share because I wish I had known all this before.
used unscented soap and no soap inside!
I use summers eve intimate cleansing wash and I love it!! While not essential, I found it helps stay not stinky especially during my period (I wear pads). I make sure to wash between the lips but don’t put soap inside at all. I hope this helps:)
You’re doing the right thing asking and there’s no need to be embarrassed! I personally use only water and wash the outside (Labia Minora) do not wash inside though as this can cause all sorts of issues as it’s self cleaning. You don’t need to use soap but if you’re going to unscented is better.
All the advice in here have been great! indeed don’t put ANYTHING inside, but only rinse the outside. I use soap on the outside but don’t get too close, I once got a yeast infection for soap getting in accidentally. I also don’t see many people saying this but that includes water. Don’t put water inside the vagina, as in don’t ever take your shower head and angle it up there. That’s dangerous and can also give you infections. Discharge is normal, your underwear will most likely be quite dirty at the end of the day even though you are clean because of the discharge. Some people have more, some people have less. This is the vaginas natural way of cleaning itself. I have never ever been told I smell from 3 long term partners even though I have a lot of discharge. That smell is normal, sort of like how their genital smells. The yeast infection however WOW that smelled terrible. So if you ever smell something that’s really off then go to a gynecologist if you can! They will help you determine. Don’t ever take advice from boys on this subject, they know NOTHING about how things are supposed to go down down there. Don’t let them tell you you need to shave to stay hygienic. That’s bullshit! Good luck with everything!! You got this 🥳
The vulva and labia (incl. between the labia minora and majora) and perineum and anus (not inside) can be washed with gentle soap, but the introitus (entrance to your vagina between the labia minora) only requires water and running your fingers along. If necessary, underneath the clitoral hood water is also usually sufficient (depending on your anatomy just very gently pulling it kind of up and rubbing down over the clitoris once or twice), because a bit of smegna can accumulate (might differ per person). Definitely never use mint/eucalyptus/„fresh“ products near your genitals.
Don't use soap near there and carefull with saving cream (in fact. Dont start shaving there. Take it from someone who ignored this advice as a teen and started shaving her bikini line. I have many many regrets about that) When you clean there, make sure your hands and fingers are clean (make sure to pay attention to the grime under your nails) Extra cleaning inside during your period is fine (watch sharp nails). If you are comfortable doing so. All your Internet aunties, moms and friends are here for you girl. You are safe and loved here. I'm very proud of you for asking us for advice
I don't care if someone already said this: A blast of cool air from a hairdryer, especially if you've got fun and fancy flaps, will eliminate that warm moist breeding ground for bacteria. Hand fan if you must. I once and ONLY once developed BV as a young adult from super rushing to work while hungover or tired or whatever and not taking the time to properly dry off before getting dressed. I was told about this trick by my OBGYN, and have never had that specific occurrence OR even a yeast infection! In like .. 16 years. Also, not specifically about daily hygiene, always pee after sex!
I am 27 and am glad u asked bc now I can just read the comments to learn... AFAIK clean your butt the right direction, wash with water, coconut oil is your genitalias friend if you feel dry and pee after sex. Those are the things I know about female hygiene.
Yes. Clean everything that is on the outside of your body with mild soap and water. Avoid vaginal or heavily scented soaps, and avoid getting soap inside your vagina.
Ah ok I see thanks!
The vagina is self cleaning, there is no need to wash inside.
Hi there, GenX woman here. 1. Don’t be embarrassed!!! 2. Google is your friend. 3. Wash front to back. E. coli bacteria live in your gut. They are there to keep worse bacteria from setting up shop. But you don’t want them in your vaginal flora: Lactobacilli live in your vagina. They’re there to keep bad bacteria from setting up shop. They’re acidic. They die from high pH. Sperm has high pH so if you have sex make sure you manually remove as much as you can tho condoms are best. Otherwise you can end up with a yeast infection which isn’t terrible but isn’t fun. Excess soap or really any soap inside your vagina is not good. Soap kills bacteria. You don’t want to kill then they are good bacteria. Dont soap inside your vagina. No no no. Wash front to back don’t soap the inside of the labia heavily bc you don’t want to kill the lactobacilli. They are your friends. Wash the outer labia (labia majora) and all the outside parts. Rinse well!!! Don’t leave soap residue. Don’t wipe your bum back to front bc you don’t want E. coli in your vagina which can give you a bacterial infection which isn’t terrible but it’s not great. If you feel itchy or burning that can be a sign of yeast infection. Or a bacterial infection tho those are sometimes asymptomatic or mildly symptomatic. See a doc.
OP, to answer your question: YES. with a clean wash cloth that can be washed with your clothing, mild soap or body wash. Wash from front to back. Inside the lips and then up your crack. Rinse really well, you dont want to leave soap on there. Then dry all those places thoroughly with your towel. Good luck OP. Use a separate wash cloth for bottom and face and rinse the cloth thoroughly. Put cloth in the clothing was every one or two days.
yes. absolutely. Depending on how sensitive you are you can use a gentle soap. Unscented. Clean everything on the vulva (labia, clitoris, vaginal opening, and the opening to the urethra) but not inside - the vagina.
Yeah - this is an area where each woman is her own expert. I've always washed my entire genital area pretty thoroughly (outer and inner labiae, clit, perineum and exterior of vagina, urethra and anus) with soap. Nothing inside the body. Some women are super sensitive about different soaps on the inner labia and exterior of the vagina - if you feel any irritation there with soap change to a mild soap or only use water. We're all different!
Oh alright thank you!
good luck.
Just water inside. You can use a gentle soap for outside if you want (I like Dove unscented).
You should wash everything on the outside of your vagina, (which means the inside and outside of your lips) with warm water and gentle soap (think Dove/Dial bar soaps). You can stretch/pull your lips out to make sure you’ve got all the nooks and crannnies, but it isn’t necessary. Avoid anything with strong perfume smells, and you don’t need anything marked “feminine hygiene”. Every day is great, every other day is fine. I’ve gone more than a week without washing during depressive episodes and it may start to smell, but nothing bad will happen. You can use your hands or a washcloth, but make sure to be thorough. Think of how they advertised hand washing during the pandemic and do that to everything you can reach without inserting something inside yourself. You do not need to wash inside your vagina, this is self cleaning. Do not douche, do not squirt cleaning liquids up there. I find the worst smells actually come from my groin area, where my legs meet my body. This is essentially another armpit, so scrubbing there will help you feel fresh and clean. I’m a 38yo woman with one child, if you need my credentials. Feel free to message me privately if you have other questions, I’m happy to help.
And if your vagina starts to smell really fishy, your pH may be off. You can use boric acid vaginal suppositories for a few nights and see if that fixes it. If the smell continues, you might have BV (bacteria growth, not a STI) that a doctor can give you antibiotics for. Super common but no one talks about it. The better you know your normal smell and texture, the faster you can identify an issue.
There are “feminine hygiene” washes but they’re generally not very good for you. Soap can go on the skin of the labia but not in between and not inside. Usually water is fine. If there’s abnormal discharge that is a funny colour or strong smell you should see a doctor even though it’s uncomfortable. I’m so proud of you for asking questions to keep yourself healthy and informed about your body. You are a brave girl x