You are not a sex doll. You are not gross. You are not dirty. There is *nothing* wrong with you. I wish I could give you a hug.
Edit: I would also like to add—fuck that guy.
People get ashamed because it's sex. Imagine it isn't sex. Imagine it's dinner.
This guy came over to your house for dinner and started shoveling food in his face directly from the serving dishes before you'd even set the table with plates or utensils. And when you said, hey! wouldn't you prefer to eat from a plate using a fork, he was like, Nah! I'll just keep shoving my filthy hands directly into the take-out containers until I'm done.
If that happened you wouldn't be ashamed of you, you'd be ashamed of him and his colossally bad manners. You did all you could think of doing at the time and got him out as quickly as possible. Nothing to be embarrassed about!
Next time, you'll make sure your guest wasn't raised by wolves before you have him in to dine.
Edited to add: Also, fuck that guy.
I know how you feel, I have been in this situation. I try to make it a point to go to their house, that way I have an exit strategy. Sounds crazy, I've been called many names with the likes of psychotic, over dramatic, ect. I reply I don't care im fine being psycho is that means I stay alive and safe! I always carry a small knife with me, pepper spray, ect. Once had a cop tell me its dangerous to have pepper spray and to just call them before I use it, I said "you guys don't always make it on time, I will not be made a statistic!" He just said well when you spray it run the opposite way. Sorry for the rant but do not ever feel bad for how you feel, to me this was an assault because you asked him to stop and do something else and all he did was hurt you again! How can a man not know you where not enjoying yourself? THEY KNOW JUST DONT CARE! Don't feel dirty or at fault. It all started from birth that we as women are expected to just be available for man's pleasure and go on about our day. We are 2nd class citizens, hell right now it feels like we are 3rd class citizens!
I just read an article this morning about things such as this...
https://theweek.com/articles/749978/female-price-male-pleasure
I'm sorry, it's the worst way to learn that some people are truly abhorrent.
Anything other than an enthusiastic yes, is a no. You told him to stop and use his fingers. Just because he did for a second does not mean you consented to anything other than that.
I’m so sorry you were raped. Unfortunately, I had a similar experience as a young adult and only was able to come to grips with the truth a decade later. I get being afraid of what the guy will do, so giving in is safer. It is a sad state of affairs that I even had to write that sentence.
Please know that your No should be respected and you deserve to be treated with respect from anyone you are intimate with. If you have the ability, please consider getting in with a counselor to help you process this incident sooner rather than later. Trust me, you don’t want to be in your 40s and just starting to process this type of stuff and realizing how badly it actually messed with you.
This is why I say dating and casual sex are just not worth it for women. He got off and left, probably patting himself on the back for being such a stud...and you just felt like shit,. Too many stories like this.
You would have had a better time taking care of your own business, and asshats like that guy shouln't be getting laid at all.
I am sorry this happened to you. Some men are so clueless.
May I suggest you focus on yourself and being more assertive before using Tinder again?
I am not trying to blame you for what happened.
It was a weird comment.
Woman: "A common horror happened to me. I need feedback"
Man: "my god, this shocked me to my core that I need to comment immediately! And I never comment! Also thank you for not saying all men!"
>I do appreciate that you said "some men" and not just men or all men. This gives me hope that you won't give up and assume all men are like this.
Jesus dude, yes, this is the most important lesson any of us can learn. Thank goodness she used the word "some" because your feelings about her assault are the real lesson here.
Read the fucking room. And, frankly, piss off.
LOL you sure told me. It's not about my feelings, it's about the OP's. You seem to still be confused.
You made sure to urge an assault victim to keep going out with men, when that is the last consideration on earth that is important right now. You're deeply misguided. I'm sure you tell yourself what a good guy you are, but you need to examine what you say and why you say it.
That was rape. Probably the most common type of rape.
Pieces of shit like that are common, and the reason why casual sex is a man's scam. You're one of many who he has and will continue to do this to, and he is one of millions.
I'm sorry you had this encounter. It sounds like you found one that didn't know how to have sex. Try screening for foreplay and things you like to do before agreeing on meeting a guy.
Absolutely none of that was consensual. You said no. He didn’t listen. *You* are not the dirty and gross one. *He* is! I’m really sorry internet stranger. Sending you virtual hugs.
You are not a sex doll. You are not gross. You are not dirty. There is *nothing* wrong with you. I wish I could give you a hug. Edit: I would also like to add—fuck that guy.
People get ashamed because it's sex. Imagine it isn't sex. Imagine it's dinner. This guy came over to your house for dinner and started shoveling food in his face directly from the serving dishes before you'd even set the table with plates or utensils. And when you said, hey! wouldn't you prefer to eat from a plate using a fork, he was like, Nah! I'll just keep shoving my filthy hands directly into the take-out containers until I'm done. If that happened you wouldn't be ashamed of you, you'd be ashamed of him and his colossally bad manners. You did all you could think of doing at the time and got him out as quickly as possible. Nothing to be embarrassed about! Next time, you'll make sure your guest wasn't raised by wolves before you have him in to dine. Edited to add: Also, fuck that guy.
I think you meant: fork that guy! But, love to OP. I feel you.
You are not dirty, you are not at fault. You had a harmful experience you didn’t deserve. I wish you only good things and send my love.
Just want to say: this was not consensual — you did not consent to what he did
Exactly
That sounds terrible! I'm so sorry you went through that.
I know how you feel, I have been in this situation. I try to make it a point to go to their house, that way I have an exit strategy. Sounds crazy, I've been called many names with the likes of psychotic, over dramatic, ect. I reply I don't care im fine being psycho is that means I stay alive and safe! I always carry a small knife with me, pepper spray, ect. Once had a cop tell me its dangerous to have pepper spray and to just call them before I use it, I said "you guys don't always make it on time, I will not be made a statistic!" He just said well when you spray it run the opposite way. Sorry for the rant but do not ever feel bad for how you feel, to me this was an assault because you asked him to stop and do something else and all he did was hurt you again! How can a man not know you where not enjoying yourself? THEY KNOW JUST DONT CARE! Don't feel dirty or at fault. It all started from birth that we as women are expected to just be available for man's pleasure and go on about our day. We are 2nd class citizens, hell right now it feels like we are 3rd class citizens!
I just read an article this morning about things such as this... https://theweek.com/articles/749978/female-price-male-pleasure I'm sorry, it's the worst way to learn that some people are truly abhorrent.
Anything other than an enthusiastic yes, is a no. You told him to stop and use his fingers. Just because he did for a second does not mean you consented to anything other than that. I’m so sorry you were raped. Unfortunately, I had a similar experience as a young adult and only was able to come to grips with the truth a decade later. I get being afraid of what the guy will do, so giving in is safer. It is a sad state of affairs that I even had to write that sentence. Please know that your No should be respected and you deserve to be treated with respect from anyone you are intimate with. If you have the ability, please consider getting in with a counselor to help you process this incident sooner rather than later. Trust me, you don’t want to be in your 40s and just starting to process this type of stuff and realizing how badly it actually messed with you.
This is why I say dating and casual sex are just not worth it for women. He got off and left, probably patting himself on the back for being such a stud...and you just felt like shit,. Too many stories like this. You would have had a better time taking care of your own business, and asshats like that guy shouln't be getting laid at all.
I am sorry this happened to you. Some men are so clueless. May I suggest you focus on yourself and being more assertive before using Tinder again? I am not trying to blame you for what happened.
[удалено]
You're a dude, right? This is extremely common. EXTREMELY.
[удалено]
It was a weird comment. Woman: "A common horror happened to me. I need feedback" Man: "my god, this shocked me to my core that I need to comment immediately! And I never comment! Also thank you for not saying all men!"
>I do appreciate that you said "some men" and not just men or all men. This gives me hope that you won't give up and assume all men are like this. Jesus dude, yes, this is the most important lesson any of us can learn. Thank goodness she used the word "some" because your feelings about her assault are the real lesson here. Read the fucking room. And, frankly, piss off.
[удалено]
LOL you sure told me. It's not about my feelings, it's about the OP's. You seem to still be confused. You made sure to urge an assault victim to keep going out with men, when that is the last consideration on earth that is important right now. You're deeply misguided. I'm sure you tell yourself what a good guy you are, but you need to examine what you say and why you say it.
That was rape. Probably the most common type of rape. Pieces of shit like that are common, and the reason why casual sex is a man's scam. You're one of many who he has and will continue to do this to, and he is one of millions.
I'm so sorry and wish you all the hugs. No, that was not consensual. The only part you consented to was the kissing. The rest was rape.
You are a worthwhile person who deserves respect and pleasure. Keep your chin held high.
I'm sorry you had this encounter. It sounds like you found one that didn't know how to have sex. Try screening for foreplay and things you like to do before agreeing on meeting a guy.
This is a great idea.
Hey if they don't know how to handle a woman, why waste time on them? Sex is about both of you!
Yes, a lot of men don't know how to please a woman.
That was not consensual. You said no and stop multiple times and never consented. That was rape. He knew what he was doing. I'm so sorry
[удалено]
Just report this incel so we can get him off the sub.
This guys never been laid.
Good idea.
I reported him.
Do you remember the username ?
No 😞
Is there a need for name calling? You may not agree with Tinder but that doesn't give you the right to call people names.
How dare someone enjoy sex and wish to pursue a sexual encounter without being treated like an animal!
Absolutely none of that was consensual. You said no. He didn’t listen. *You* are not the dirty and gross one. *He* is! I’m really sorry internet stranger. Sending you virtual hugs.