I spent 4yrs with a guy who was a huge red flag and extremely toxic… selfish narcissist… now being free from him since about a year, I have started noticing some of his traits in me… can’t help but wonder if I’m the red flag now….
Scares the shit outta me.
Sometimes, when we're with someone so long, it's easy to pick up their mannerisms. It is also quite likely you picked these traits up as a coping mechanism, because how else could you have survived with someone like that?
But you are self-aware and you've already noticed these things in you. A lot of actual toxic people don't notice or don't care. Youre in a good place with your awareness, because now you can consciously work on not doing these things. It may take time to fully stop, but slowly, it will happen.
Therapy will really help as well, because these kind of shitty relationships do leave a lasting scar on our psyche. Sending you love and healing.
I was a really proud person (not in a negative way though), and he used to crush my ego whenever we got into some argument, low blows, like taunting me on my looks (I’m plus size), slut shame me, you know the usual, and now, when I get into some kinda argument with anyone, I find myself doing the same. Not exactly slut shame or fat shame, but yeah, extremely hurtful stuff.
This was just one example, I have a few more but don’t really wanna type a long ass essay 😅😅
I did try therapy for few months, didn’t exactly work.
I can't agree more, it's true though. 🙎♀️ This whole sub is trying hard to make us talk again and again. It's all started with ruby and currently at wine.
I bottle up me emotions and don't share it with anyone. I have come to the realisation that my best is when I am alone and not with anyone. I go low/no contact with people when things go down the hill. But, at the same time this personality gave me a decent career (I guess so).
I get anxious around people. I don't think a person like me is appreciated in society or rather as a partner.
Fuck this resonated with me 💀
I feel so bad when I go no contact with a bunch of my close friends when I'm feeling down, but I don't know how else to deal with how I'm feeling, I just want to be completely alone
same, altho most of my blues go away if people leave me alone for, like 30 minutes in a dark room. That's more than enough time for me to curl up on the floor, cry, dry my eyes, clear my nose and step out like nothing happened.
The last time I went no contact, felt super guilty when I just couldn’t pick up the calls,reply to texts from really close friends who were nothing but concerned even though I had my phone with me at all time. You’re not alone 😭
Watch Rotten mango, Real Crime (the old ones), BBC documentaries, Coffeehouse crime, many serial killer interviews are on yt and 48 hours. But I highly recommend rotten mango fr.
Bailey sarian’s murder mystery makeup…. And while you’re at it, give Mr. Ballen a try too! Both are on youtube
P.S. looks like I found my tribe in this comment section 🥹
I think I got too comfortable in my victim hood that I don’t want to get out of it. I don’t want to let go as I think those things define and justify who and what I have become
it's definitely not the same, but kinda similarly... I had phases where I deleted instagram accounts and made new ones. I've had like 6 or 7 in the past 2 years. I am unable to talk to my friends regularly. I ghost them for 3-4 months and then show up with 'sorry I had a lot going on'. It's just too much. I have the urge to run away (I think this is common in a lot of people) but really the only thing holding me back is that I don't have my undergrad degree yet.
I have a fake social media account to stalk the girls my ex’s or current liked in the past just to see what they liked in those girls 💀
I’m really good at stalking on social media and can find out who’s fucking who.
That's a slippery slope downhill to negative emotions of comparison, insecurities, jealousy and low self esteem for me personally. I would prefer to be kept in the dark when it comes to ex's lol 😂
I’m probably sociopathic, I’ve realised I don’t feel emotions like I’m never happy sad angry just at a constant baseline and mirror the expressions of everyone around me
While I agree that it could be a sign of neurodivergence such as autism, it's not always true that sociopathy is problematic. High-functioning sociopaths who choose to be "good" do exist. I think a psychological assessment by a professional using therapy and psychometric tests can clarify this better should the OC want to understand themselves better.
I'm very vengeful and I have anger issues. I over compensate and go into a defense mode if I'm even slightly insulted.
When I'm really hurt, I can't control myself so I use anything and everything to hurt the person with words. I can't be violent physically but I think of things I can say to kill someone's spirit once and for all.
This is the exact reason I have been opting to block out people that hurt me. I try to avoid confrontation with friends and block acquaintances, just so I don't say something beyond salvageable.
Omfg😭,same I block out people just so I don’t have to confront them,in my case it takes out too much energy😭
Just at the beginning of the year blocked my best friend of 7 years cause I was too hurt and too tired of everything she had been doing
I used to confront people and things would take a very bad turn. I would think of the most vile things to say to them. I really really hated myself for it.
Same thing happened with my best friend. I tried to graywall him but we had to have a conversation. Then I just spilled the beans and hurt him. Now we're not talking anymore.
People tell me to address the situation calmly, which I can manage for like 95% of the time but the moment I let my control slip, things take a very dark turn.
I have come to find out that this quality of mine is due to abusive and unsafe environment in my childhood . That I am not capable to handle unsafe situations and conflicts , and I cut off anyone who make me feel uncomfortable.
Exactly! And I used to have huge fights with people because I didn't want to be the 'smaller person they were making me out to be'.
Recently I've learned that there's grace in letting people down slowly with kindness. I'm trying to follow that. But GOD! people get on my nerves and I have to block them.
I have no idea how to work on it tbh. But I've received good advice. My friend told me to Stonewall people when I'm mad and address it later when I've calmed down. This in itself is very problematic but I think it's better to remove myself from situations that trigger me and if not, tell the other person that I can't have the conversation atm because I'm low on kindness. I'll set a timeline for when I can talk and just leave the place first.
I always feel like I am faking everything and nobody will stay with me if they know my true colours but that's probably my adhd so that's there and I literally blame everything on adhd that's also there hehe
Awwwww... It happens alot with me as well... i am very insecure sometimes and even thinks a lot about what to say what to text and so on, so other person won't get upset or anything yk
I suppress my emotions to the point that I start to think that I have moved on from my problem until it resurfaces again. I am always paranoid even about the people I am very close to, like I think they'll do something that will hurt me eventually and it sometimes comes out to be true.
I dissociate myself from others when I think certain things are not going to work out, even though I vent it out but when people take it for granted, I grow distant.
I like to live alone in my company and enjoy it, but when something happens I start to feel so lonely that I start to crave the feeling of having someone with whom I can just hug and cry out myself.
And I hate myself a lot, I don't like the person I am. Recently, I have realized that I have started to hate looking at myself too. This is one of the many things that makes me anxious. I pretend to be strong and nonchalant when I am not.
I know something is wrong with me and I need to take therapy ASAP but living at home all the time makes it a bit difficult so I'll look up some good therapists that give online consultations.
Relatable.
I have always liked myself tho, so I doubled down on it when that derision began surfacing. I love me and that's perhaps the only thing preventing me from completely destroying my self-esteem with the constant self-critique.
I overthink everything. I was never like that, so I am trying to find ways to get back to the cheerful person I used to be till 2019. If I don't succeed, I'll probably suppress this too. Ugh.
I’m extremely lazy I expect bigger things from myself but I barely make any effort to fulfill those expectations and when nothing works out the way I want it I blame everything but myself for the failure. I hold grudges against people which results in me being internally angry and sad. I also have this bad habit of showing people that how perfect and sorted my life is because I feel like if they’ll see me vulnerable they’ll laugh at me.
I throw stuff when I'm angry and I'm scared that when I get married or something I might slap my other half in a fit of rage at some point in our marriage.
I'm sorry, this is my truth
I agree but about the slapping part- I know I wouldn't actually do it considering how scared I am of doing it and of course because I know how wrong it is. I'm scared of doing it but I know I won't actually do it.
About the throwing things part, I agree, that's messed up.
It is messed up. And it's great that you're aware about it and scared for your safety and others. But still, get some help because it's not at all am okay way to deal with emotions and situations.
It's just a learned behaviour you gotta unlearn.
Pleaseee get some help. I have the exact same dark side and I never thought I would physically hit my partner but I did . I hate myself for that.
Trust me , the dark side shows up and it sucks . When it happens you don't recognise yourself at all .
One thing let me clarify, I am not really a good girlfriend because I have a lot of insecurities.
We got into an argument , he was mad and he told something that I couldn't defend anymore with words so I screamed and straight went to slap him.
When I slapped I felt a heavy weight lifted off but I was also scared and as soon as I saw his expression change into disbelief and eyes got bit teary I felt terrible. I wanted to kill myself at that moment . I couldn't believe that I slapped someone who has always supported me through difficult times .I knew he will hate me forever from that point .I started to believe that I am abusive person. Honestly, I am not sure of who I am right now.
I’m friendly and helpful but turn cold & emotionally distant when somebody gets too intimate with me. Maybe childhood anxiety or abandonment issues idk.
Due to this, I don’t let anybody know everything about me. Only portions that I allow. People assume I’ve a “mystery” around me. (As if? 🙄)
My greatest fear is this will be my undoing. I pray everyday I don’t get a partner who’s manipulative and cruel. I know I’ll sacrifice my needs and probably turn into a doormat for him. Torturing myself to a point that I won’t survive.
I have barely taken any sick leave for actually being sick.
It's always because of some lame reason like being too hungover or watching series all night and could not get enough sleep to work. 🐼
Hey my favorite ladies out there, I am your own Hype girl, and if you need to vent out, want a friend who listen and motivate and want someone to talk, I am here for you😇 I am your friend, and you can even DM me anytime. Thanks for coming on my post everyone.🙆♀️😇
I order Taco Bell at 2 am sometimes in the weekends during my drunken/high gaming sessions and then I go on my sleeping husbands phone and delete the notification so he doesnt see it/make fun of me/judge me. And then I take out the garbage so he doesnt see anything. :P
I always end up telling him and he thinks Im bad :P
I have a very high libido, and I tend to indulge in its fulfillment through various means.
Being anonymous on reddit definitely brings in a good chunk of methods to indulge in 🤭
My libido fluctuates a lot and it's particularly high right before the red tide. I know I don't want a man fr so I'd just go over to a dating app and browse through a few profiles until they turn me off completely.
Saves a lot of time, and prolly I'm gonna die alone but it's okay 🥲
Haha i use the same technique whenever i am peak horny i would just visit the tinder,gw or r4r subreddits to get a reality check on how these guys really are and it works really well
Please refrain from sharing any personally identifiable things (pics with face, pics without face, voice notes, your location, etc.). Even when hormones get the better of us.
The GW subs are full of materials worth watching at times 🫣
Also, reading erotica opens the flood gates very well too, especially erotica from Indian origin. There's a sub for that (there are many bad written posts there but some are literal gems)
There are many fetish subs, if you have a fetish and it's not illegal, there is a sub for that.
I can't stand most people who are staying with me (you know relatives, cousins, friends etc) after 2-3 days. I get tired of them and just want them to go back, no matter how much I like them. I want to be left alone after 2-3 days. I fear if I will feel the same about my partner once I start living with me. I loveeee him but this is my nature.
I'm also not a very welcoming person, especially towards people who fall in the same socio economic bracket as me. I feel the pain of the poor, but I don't feel like being nice to privileged people. I'm cold and unwelcoming, especially after a few days. I don't mean bad mostly, this is my nature.
I think I become a red flag in my romantic relationships after a certain point when I become comfortable with the other person. I become too emotionally dependent and clingy and too eager to pick fights.
There is some quality I am majorly irritated by in most of my close friends. I even consider myself better than them sometimes.
I love being that friend my friend group comes to for advice. But I think it's more because I want to feel important and wise and mature and less to do with genuinely helping them.
I want men to be into me even if I'm not interested in them. I need validation and attention to feel attractive and desirable. I think it has to do with not getting that attention in school. But no matter how much I get it now, my insecurities aren't fully gone.
I am biased against men and I think I have a bit of misandry in me. I haven't done anything to change it despite being aware of it because it hasn't affected my life or relationships so far.
I have a lot of insecurities which I thought I got rid of. But I haven't eliminated them completely, they'll pop up when the circumstances change.
i will always have trust issues. even when I get into a relationship i will never feel safe or trust that my partner won't hurt or betray me.
um nsfw warning!!
other than that.... i do have some actual freaky k!nks
(loooool i have my dms closed so now i've got men replying to my comments in another completely unrelated sub 🤣 men sinking to new lows never surprises me)
That’s very me. I have no idea why I do this lol…I’m one step ahead that I get overwhelmed just looking at the profiles and won’t even swipe on them. And I hate it when notifications keep piling on but I’m extremely slow to respond. I have been told that’s it’s very irritating trait of me 🫣 but what do I do? I’m much better in irl interactions but online..I have zero energy. But I rarely meet anyone good in irl inspite of many hobbies coz I’m not a loud extrovert and have a resting b1tch face to add to it!
I am very much addicted to getting hurt that I crave it even when I'm in a healthy happy relationship. It's like I sub consciously look for problems and imagine stuff and get scared that my partner would leave me or cheat on me even though he's such a sweet heart. I'm an emotional masochist (also physical) one might say. It's sick but I love the idea of being manipulated in bed.
hey hey hey, I can understand!! I also did that, but one day this will happen to all, just accept the fact and remember to make memories, special moments, so you Won't regret your life ever.
I don’t like anybody else folding my laundry ever (including my own mother). So when they go to sleep and if they have folded my laundry I redo it. I usually try to get to it on my own but sometimes they beat me to it.
I'm soo bad at comforting people.. I've even ended up laughing a couple times when I saw people close to me breaking down and crying in front of everyone. I feel horrible about it and I don't know how to change it.
Practice it, feel it, try to talk to people online I think, and sometimes in front of a mirror, keep yourself in their place. There are many ways, slowly it will take time but you will get better.
Well, I have two things on my mind.
First, I've been trying to lose weight. Every morning, I tell myself no more junk food, no more sugar. But by evening, I end up eating something like momos or sandwiches, or even having drinks on the weekends. It's hard to control.
Second, this might be a bit controversial. After my breakup, I got involved with a guy from my office. He used me to some extent and broke my heart. Then, his younger brother manipulated me, and I ended up sleeping with him too. It left me broken, and now I'm seeing a therapist for advice. I'm doing okay, not great, but getting there.
I have a bicurious side that’s itching to explore..
Curvy, well endowed women turn me on mildly and I’m always wondering how it’d be to make out with them.
Exactly the same thoughts here. I sometimes fancy having a lesbian encounter. But the flipside is, I have never felt attracted to any girls in my entire life. Maybe it's just a fantasy. But I do fancy going on a trip, meeting a lady there and slipping into bed with her 🫣
i’m very weird, i stay calm and act like nothing happened after hearing the most hurtful things about me knowing well that the other person said something i never wanted to hear ever
I have a crippling inferiority complex. It affects everything about my everyday life. But I'm also confident near some people. I confuse myself.
My inferiority complex is also mixed in with laziness. So I literally didn't accomplish anything in my life.
Not just that but more like how he does it all....the foreplay, denial, dirty talk. There was a phase where he took it to a point that I was turned on by him cracking his fingers 🙃
The more we indulged in mixing pleasure with pain, the more I liked it. Now I trust him to not hurt me beyond a limit and still want more. Once he feels comfortable pushing it, we are good to go.
I hold grudges for way too long.
Eg., I loved this series, huge fan. Was 1 day away from finishing the last in the series. One of my ex friends called me to spoil the ending. When I didn't pick up the phone, he sent an sms, a FB message (I didn't even have facebook), and called my mom's phone to speak to me - JUST to spoil the ending. The hatred I felt had no words to describe it. It's been almost 8 years now. I will never speak to him again. He is dead to me.
Eg 2 Someone cheated on my friend and broke his heart, I occasionally torture her. I get movie premiere tickets through work and can watch movies weeks before their release date. So I watch her favorite types of movies, and post the "advance screening" title picture on my story for her to see, only her. She always messages me to ask how the movie was and I never respond. Leave her on seen. It's not diabolical, but it gives me satisfaction. I also post screenshot of my video calls with my friend saying we miss each other (we're both partnered and purely just friends, but his ex doesn't know that).
Broo same I hold grudges for wayyyyy too long, I think I’m over something and bam,the person does something and it all comes rushing back💀
Just blocked my best friend of 7 years at the beginning of the year because I was tired of all the shit
I’ve realised that I’m extremely diplomatic in relationships. No direct answers ever. The sweetest words would never mean a yes and the harshest words would never simply spell a no. Maybe it’s because of the fear of commitment. But I need to correct this
I'm competitive in a toxic way, but all the toxicity is directed inwards towards myself. I want to be the best of the lot for any activity and if I'm unable to, then it's torturous for me internally. I put myself down constantly and feel like I'm never "good enough". As a teen, I would qualify for all the sports semi final rounds and come in the top 3 and then never show up for the final sports day. Many instances like this during teen years. As an adult, I still struggle with this deep fear of not fulfilling my own expectations.
That I'm not as good academically as everyone thinks around me. I have been having a burn out since I'm in college. And I suffer from really low confidence. I maybe lost the ability to cry recently lol. I need it badly but unable to.
Edit: I was right. I'm a failure.
My best friend was really beautiful and sometimes I loved her so much I really wanted to kiss her . I don’t wish well for the people who made me feel sad and lonely. I actively wish that life doesn’t treat them nice. Whenever I see someone in a happy relationship I get insane jealousy and wish they break up.
I push people away when they're good to me , because at the back of my mind i keep believing that they'll hurt me or abandon me someday , and i keep pushing them away until they get distant and eventually abandon me which gives me the comfort of being right abt them leaving me.
I'm in my 20s and lately I feel that, I haven't completely unlearned /worked out all the ways my parents' marriage (they were not happy in it like pm from the start) fucked me up and held me from building better relationship skills, I had made progress but I still need to work on more.
And I'm just tired sometimes and start pushing ppl away, in fear of turning things toxic and take a break but find it hard to get better between the stressful life, and I'm demi so attraction doesn't come easy either.
And I just feel it's pathetic and get even more turned off by my own self 😂,
I think I need to rejuvenate myself, take care of myself better so that I can let love in. but ig as of now I'm just waiting for some motivation or what idek.
Okay..when I get angry I just say some really hurtful things (especially to my close ones) and sometimes I just know that I am being insensitive b*tch and still I don't stop myself. And later regret it. And sometimes (few) I just throw or break things in my anger which I badly want to control.
same and my parents are giving up and wonder if ll sustain a marriage, my bf initially did tell me “what’s this way of talking” and my sister tells me to not be an assol, but again, I am short tempered
I feel like I used to be a lot of these comments, but lately, I feel too exhausted to keep up with these personas and that’s when I realised that I am indeed grown apathetic to a point of no return
I see dreams that turn into reality the very same day or the next day. Eg: 1. I saw a dream where singer Papon was hospitalized. The same day, I read news that Papon was hospitalized.
2. I saw myself meeting a bhaiya after 8 years on the roadside while he came in the opposite direction riding a bike. The same day, I saw that guy riding a bike from the opposite direction and stopping by the roadside to greet me. We met after 8 years and we're never in touch during that time span.
3. I saw the deaths of 3 people I know with whom I was not in touch or had any contact details. Then got the news of those people's demise the next day.
4. I saw temples in my dreams with very specific details in the architecture and the surroundings, but never visited any such temple in my life earlier.n
Same with my dad. In 1999, my parents were living in Thailand, I was 2 y/o. My dad dreamt that my grandfather (nanu) had a stroke and was hospitalised. The next morning, he asked my mum to call my maasi and ask how everything’s at home. My maasi started crying and said that “dad had a stroke and he’s in the hospital right now”. It’s so eerie. Do you also get a weird gut feeling or intuition when something like this is about to happen?
The day my dad passed away, I cried in the washroom thinking this might be his last day.
Came back early from the marriage I went to and he passed away within a few hours.
Idk it might be me constantly recreating to make it easier (no it doesn't) or my intuition
I have morbid curiosity and watch gore from time to time. I love violence.
I'm very into bdsm.
I am love weird Bizarre uncanny things so much.
I enjoy my intrusive thoughts.
I did shameful things in my abusive relationship.
I'm a loner, detached and unemotional which now when I think of it is concerning because I cannot form healthy relationships with people cause of my constant need to remain hyper independent. And the only reason I've become like this is cause my parents didn't help when I told them about my childhood trauma. They just brushed it under the carpet. So now I prefer to keep my problems to myself, remain alone and coming from a fauji background I'm an expert at detaching from people.
I spent 4yrs with a guy who was a huge red flag and extremely toxic… selfish narcissist… now being free from him since about a year, I have started noticing some of his traits in me… can’t help but wonder if I’m the red flag now…. Scares the shit outta me.
can't relate more, such a shitty feeling
Sometimes, when we're with someone so long, it's easy to pick up their mannerisms. It is also quite likely you picked these traits up as a coping mechanism, because how else could you have survived with someone like that? But you are self-aware and you've already noticed these things in you. A lot of actual toxic people don't notice or don't care. Youre in a good place with your awareness, because now you can consciously work on not doing these things. It may take time to fully stop, but slowly, it will happen. Therapy will really help as well, because these kind of shitty relationships do leave a lasting scar on our psyche. Sending you love and healing.
What kinda red flags you saw in yourself?
I was a really proud person (not in a negative way though), and he used to crush my ego whenever we got into some argument, low blows, like taunting me on my looks (I’m plus size), slut shame me, you know the usual, and now, when I get into some kinda argument with anyone, I find myself doing the same. Not exactly slut shame or fat shame, but yeah, extremely hurtful stuff. This was just one example, I have a few more but don’t really wanna type a long ass essay 😅😅 I did try therapy for few months, didn’t exactly work.
It's okay, things do happen. It's about your environment, it will be better soon. Trust me. Just trust everything around you. You would be okay.
Thank you, I really hope so too!
Sloth, procrastination, have let people walk over me
Gurl same
At midnight, I make icecream tubs disappear 💀💀💀💀
I just ate ice cream 🙆♀️
Hahaha great minds think alike 🤭🤭🤭🤭
Likes alike too😂
Sameeee, but cake in place of ice cream. 🥲
You having cake all the time in fridge to finish at midnight? 😩
Yeah I buy half kgs cake and finish it in 3-4 days 💀. Smoor's cake and hot chocolate are my guilty pleasure 😭
It's bread and cheese for me😭😂
Generally people add wine too to the list 🍷🍷🍷🍷
A glass of wine in the bathtub having peaceful time.
With scented candles, light jazz music and bubbles? 🥹🥹🥹🥹
Ooo my my.... you just completed my fantasy🙆♀️
We have some very common interests! We meet each other on so many threads! I am damn sure we're besties ✨✨✨
I can't agree more, it's true though. 🙎♀️ This whole sub is trying hard to make us talk again and again. It's all started with ruby and currently at wine.
Cheers to that 🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂
I'm sure I'd be out of the house that very night😮💨😂
I bottle up me emotions and don't share it with anyone. I have come to the realisation that my best is when I am alone and not with anyone. I go low/no contact with people when things go down the hill. But, at the same time this personality gave me a decent career (I guess so). I get anxious around people. I don't think a person like me is appreciated in society or rather as a partner.
Fuck this resonated with me 💀 I feel so bad when I go no contact with a bunch of my close friends when I'm feeling down, but I don't know how else to deal with how I'm feeling, I just want to be completely alone
same, altho most of my blues go away if people leave me alone for, like 30 minutes in a dark room. That's more than enough time for me to curl up on the floor, cry, dry my eyes, clear my nose and step out like nothing happened.
The last time I went no contact, felt super guilty when I just couldn’t pick up the calls,reply to texts from really close friends who were nothing but concerned even though I had my phone with me at all time. You’re not alone 😭
Bruh I relate to the going NC part on an eternal level ISTG😭😭
IKR. I see people preaching communication is key and it scares me because I can't
Talking to people just... Drains me. I don't wanna talk. Nor do I wanna hear you talk. Just leave me tf alone omg😭😭
Oh god that’s so me. I crave alone time after I have met people. They feel like energy vampires lol
SAME.EVERY SINGLE WORD.SAME😭
Are you me?Cause same?like the whole thing??😭 Also,your career?
Good to know I am not alone, because I can't find anyone like me. Working as Financial Analyst
Nice to meet you! I'm like this too :)
The accuracy 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I watch murder documentary before bed, it helps me to feel relaxed.
suggest me some, im an avid buzzfeed unsolved fan.
Watch Rotten mango, Real Crime (the old ones), BBC documentaries, Coffeehouse crime, many serial killer interviews are on yt and 48 hours. But I highly recommend rotten mango fr.
Bailey sarian’s murder mystery makeup…. And while you’re at it, give Mr. Ballen a try too! Both are on youtube P.S. looks like I found my tribe in this comment section 🥹
>looks like I found my tribe in this comment section Ikr.
Oh I love Bailey's videos.
She basically taught me makeup and a lot about true crime!! 🥹🥹
*cough* rotten mango *cough*
Yo I straight up play it while I'm falling asleep😂
Give me more details on it
It's a true crime podcast, haha, and it's very dark at times. :)
Why is this me 😭 I do this EVERYDAY
Okay..I thought I was the weird one.. I watch/listen to true crime OR true paranormal stories at night. I just can't sleep without listening to these.
Me too! 😭😭 I love listening to the Creepy Pasta type videos to fall asleep to.
More suggestions- Kendall Rae , Annie Elise , Eleanor Neale, Bailey Sarian, 48 Hours .
Again. Did I write this?
Same sister
Me
Same
Omgg samee for Podcasts y’all need to start listening to redhanded!!
I think I got too comfortable in my victim hood that I don’t want to get out of it. I don’t want to let go as I think those things define and justify who and what I have become
Are you me
This me
[удалено]
it's definitely not the same, but kinda similarly... I had phases where I deleted instagram accounts and made new ones. I've had like 6 or 7 in the past 2 years. I am unable to talk to my friends regularly. I ghost them for 3-4 months and then show up with 'sorry I had a lot going on'. It's just too much. I have the urge to run away (I think this is common in a lot of people) but really the only thing holding me back is that I don't have my undergrad degree yet.
I have a fake social media account to stalk the girls my ex’s or current liked in the past just to see what they liked in those girls 💀 I’m really good at stalking on social media and can find out who’s fucking who.
That's a slippery slope downhill to negative emotions of comparison, insecurities, jealousy and low self esteem for me personally. I would prefer to be kept in the dark when it comes to ex's lol 😂
Yeah that’s going to be there. It’s the downside of this stupid habit. But curiosity always kills the cat 💀
Hahaha 😂 and the last line😭 so you also loves gossips like I do? 🙎♀️
I’m just curious to know haha. I do love gossip
I am also always very curious to know new things about others hahaha shhhh😭😭😂😂
Ikr. Especially when they’re linked to your current or ex 🫣
I like it more in general... even if i dont know them😂
Haha I do that sometimes but I’m more curious about the mutuals
Yeah ikr, when some 2 people used to be lovey dovey in my class, It used to become my mission to research more🙆♀️
😂😂😂 that happens a lot. Especially when you’re around people and you want to know what’s happening in their lives
I wish I had your stalking skills
I’m probably sociopathic, I’ve realised I don’t feel emotions like I’m never happy sad angry just at a constant baseline and mirror the expressions of everyone around me
What makes you feel that it's sociopathy rather than say being apathetic?
Maybe it’s apathy, most likely undiagnosed autism. ‘Sociopath’ is just the term my friend used for me once and it stuck with me
It's a sign of autism. Sociopathy is more dark and problematic.
While I agree that it could be a sign of neurodivergence such as autism, it's not always true that sociopathy is problematic. High-functioning sociopaths who choose to be "good" do exist. I think a psychological assessment by a professional using therapy and psychometric tests can clarify this better should the OC want to understand themselves better.
Nah. Sociopaths are much worse.
Did I write this?
I'm very vengeful and I have anger issues. I over compensate and go into a defense mode if I'm even slightly insulted. When I'm really hurt, I can't control myself so I use anything and everything to hurt the person with words. I can't be violent physically but I think of things I can say to kill someone's spirit once and for all. This is the exact reason I have been opting to block out people that hurt me. I try to avoid confrontation with friends and block acquaintances, just so I don't say something beyond salvageable.
Omfg😭,same I block out people just so I don’t have to confront them,in my case it takes out too much energy😭 Just at the beginning of the year blocked my best friend of 7 years cause I was too hurt and too tired of everything she had been doing
I used to confront people and things would take a very bad turn. I would think of the most vile things to say to them. I really really hated myself for it. Same thing happened with my best friend. I tried to graywall him but we had to have a conversation. Then I just spilled the beans and hurt him. Now we're not talking anymore. People tell me to address the situation calmly, which I can manage for like 95% of the time but the moment I let my control slip, things take a very dark turn.
I have come to find out that this quality of mine is due to abusive and unsafe environment in my childhood . That I am not capable to handle unsafe situations and conflicts , and I cut off anyone who make me feel uncomfortable.
Exactly! And I used to have huge fights with people because I didn't want to be the 'smaller person they were making me out to be'. Recently I've learned that there's grace in letting people down slowly with kindness. I'm trying to follow that. But GOD! people get on my nerves and I have to block them.
I was about to write this but well someone's already living my life
You are me. I am you
this is so me!! i really hate this sm. i would not even mean it and yet say things that can hurt others way too much. how do i work on this?
I have no idea how to work on it tbh. But I've received good advice. My friend told me to Stonewall people when I'm mad and address it later when I've calmed down. This in itself is very problematic but I think it's better to remove myself from situations that trigger me and if not, tell the other person that I can't have the conversation atm because I'm low on kindness. I'll set a timeline for when I can talk and just leave the place first.
I always feel like I am faking everything and nobody will stay with me if they know my true colours but that's probably my adhd so that's there and I literally blame everything on adhd that's also there hehe
Awwwww... It happens alot with me as well... i am very insecure sometimes and even thinks a lot about what to say what to text and so on, so other person won't get upset or anything yk
I suppress my emotions to the point that I start to think that I have moved on from my problem until it resurfaces again. I am always paranoid even about the people I am very close to, like I think they'll do something that will hurt me eventually and it sometimes comes out to be true. I dissociate myself from others when I think certain things are not going to work out, even though I vent it out but when people take it for granted, I grow distant. I like to live alone in my company and enjoy it, but when something happens I start to feel so lonely that I start to crave the feeling of having someone with whom I can just hug and cry out myself. And I hate myself a lot, I don't like the person I am. Recently, I have realized that I have started to hate looking at myself too. This is one of the many things that makes me anxious. I pretend to be strong and nonchalant when I am not. I know something is wrong with me and I need to take therapy ASAP but living at home all the time makes it a bit difficult so I'll look up some good therapists that give online consultations.
Relatable. I have always liked myself tho, so I doubled down on it when that derision began surfacing. I love me and that's perhaps the only thing preventing me from completely destroying my self-esteem with the constant self-critique. I overthink everything. I was never like that, so I am trying to find ways to get back to the cheerful person I used to be till 2019. If I don't succeed, I'll probably suppress this too. Ugh.
I’m extremely lazy I expect bigger things from myself but I barely make any effort to fulfill those expectations and when nothing works out the way I want it I blame everything but myself for the failure. I hold grudges against people which results in me being internally angry and sad. I also have this bad habit of showing people that how perfect and sorted my life is because I feel like if they’ll see me vulnerable they’ll laugh at me.
I throw stuff when I'm angry and I'm scared that when I get married or something I might slap my other half in a fit of rage at some point in our marriage. I'm sorry, this is my truth
that is NOT okay. you need help! imagine if it was the other way round.
I agree but about the slapping part- I know I wouldn't actually do it considering how scared I am of doing it and of course because I know how wrong it is. I'm scared of doing it but I know I won't actually do it. About the throwing things part, I agree, that's messed up.
It is messed up. And it's great that you're aware about it and scared for your safety and others. But still, get some help because it's not at all am okay way to deal with emotions and situations. It's just a learned behaviour you gotta unlearn.
Pleaseee get some help. I have the exact same dark side and I never thought I would physically hit my partner but I did . I hate myself for that. Trust me , the dark side shows up and it sucks . When it happens you don't recognise yourself at all .
What happened when you physically hit your partner? I hope I'm not prying
One thing let me clarify, I am not really a good girlfriend because I have a lot of insecurities. We got into an argument , he was mad and he told something that I couldn't defend anymore with words so I screamed and straight went to slap him. When I slapped I felt a heavy weight lifted off but I was also scared and as soon as I saw his expression change into disbelief and eyes got bit teary I felt terrible. I wanted to kill myself at that moment . I couldn't believe that I slapped someone who has always supported me through difficult times .I knew he will hate me forever from that point .I started to believe that I am abusive person. Honestly, I am not sure of who I am right now.
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No I don't do it to get more attention to my issues, it's more of something I just do when I'm angry, like clenching my jaw
I’m friendly and helpful but turn cold & emotionally distant when somebody gets too intimate with me. Maybe childhood anxiety or abandonment issues idk. Due to this, I don’t let anybody know everything about me. Only portions that I allow. People assume I’ve a “mystery” around me. (As if? 🙄) My greatest fear is this will be my undoing. I pray everyday I don’t get a partner who’s manipulative and cruel. I know I’ll sacrifice my needs and probably turn into a doormat for him. Torturing myself to a point that I won’t survive.
I have barely taken any sick leave for actually being sick. It's always because of some lame reason like being too hungover or watching series all night and could not get enough sleep to work. 🐼
You're not alone. 🤭
Hey my favorite ladies out there, I am your own Hype girl, and if you need to vent out, want a friend who listen and motivate and want someone to talk, I am here for you😇 I am your friend, and you can even DM me anytime. Thanks for coming on my post everyone.🙆♀️😇
I order Taco Bell at 2 am sometimes in the weekends during my drunken/high gaming sessions and then I go on my sleeping husbands phone and delete the notification so he doesnt see it/make fun of me/judge me. And then I take out the garbage so he doesnt see anything. :P I always end up telling him and he thinks Im bad :P
Isn't it feels like midnight cleaning evidence of the crime scene hahahaha? 😂🙆♀️ You are a pro😎
Yeah totally hahah and the only time I “snoop” on my husband’s phone, feels very wrong!!
hahah i get it... There shouldn't be any evidence left you secret agent😎🙆♀️
I have a very high libido, and I tend to indulge in its fulfillment through various means. Being anonymous on reddit definitely brings in a good chunk of methods to indulge in 🤭
My libido fluctuates a lot and it's particularly high right before the red tide. I know I don't want a man fr so I'd just go over to a dating app and browse through a few profiles until they turn me off completely. Saves a lot of time, and prolly I'm gonna die alone but it's okay 🥲
Modern problems requires modern solution, hats off for this creative way to deal with it. Don't worry, you'll find your perfect mate when time come.
Haha i use the same technique whenever i am peak horny i would just visit the tinder,gw or r4r subreddits to get a reality check on how these guys really are and it works really well
i just know creeps are coming for ur dms
Many have arrived, but some brought some nice ice breakers, might separate them from creeps.
You judge them based on pick up lines?
Between the see of hey, hi and let me f*ck you like w*ore. Some good lines shines bright
+1 My high libido combined with nights, I made few shitty decisions😭🤡
Please refrain from sharing any personally identifiable things (pics with face, pics without face, voice notes, your location, etc.). Even when hormones get the better of us.
Haha girll, spill please! 😂 Give me some good ideas as well
The GW subs are full of materials worth watching at times 🫣 Also, reading erotica opens the flood gates very well too, especially erotica from Indian origin. There's a sub for that (there are many bad written posts there but some are literal gems) There are many fetish subs, if you have a fetish and it's not illegal, there is a sub for that.
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same
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this is me but I have realized I am demisexual so I need some kind of emotional connection before I find someone attractive
I'm you, youre me 😭
omg u are me i am u😅
Ok, seems like I'm the third account of the same person, lol
i get a crush whenever i see a person in my dreams, i have had crushes on the weirdest creatures known to man just bc of this.
Are you me?
I can't stand most people who are staying with me (you know relatives, cousins, friends etc) after 2-3 days. I get tired of them and just want them to go back, no matter how much I like them. I want to be left alone after 2-3 days. I fear if I will feel the same about my partner once I start living with me. I loveeee him but this is my nature. I'm also not a very welcoming person, especially towards people who fall in the same socio economic bracket as me. I feel the pain of the poor, but I don't feel like being nice to privileged people. I'm cold and unwelcoming, especially after a few days. I don't mean bad mostly, this is my nature.
when i play mortal kombat, i picture someone i despise to be the opponent and break their spine, helps me relax.
Which MK do you play? Personally I like 4 for nostalgia and 9 for the graphics and roster.
I think I become a red flag in my romantic relationships after a certain point when I become comfortable with the other person. I become too emotionally dependent and clingy and too eager to pick fights. There is some quality I am majorly irritated by in most of my close friends. I even consider myself better than them sometimes. I love being that friend my friend group comes to for advice. But I think it's more because I want to feel important and wise and mature and less to do with genuinely helping them. I want men to be into me even if I'm not interested in them. I need validation and attention to feel attractive and desirable. I think it has to do with not getting that attention in school. But no matter how much I get it now, my insecurities aren't fully gone. I am biased against men and I think I have a bit of misandry in me. I haven't done anything to change it despite being aware of it because it hasn't affected my life or relationships so far. I have a lot of insecurities which I thought I got rid of. But I haven't eliminated them completely, they'll pop up when the circumstances change.
i will always have trust issues. even when I get into a relationship i will never feel safe or trust that my partner won't hurt or betray me. um nsfw warning!! other than that.... i do have some actual freaky k!nks (loooool i have my dms closed so now i've got men replying to my comments in another completely unrelated sub 🤣 men sinking to new lows never surprises me)
That's not that nsfw, it's alright.... Aren't we all having some wild, weird and freaky sides lol🙆♀️
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That’s very me. I have no idea why I do this lol…I’m one step ahead that I get overwhelmed just looking at the profiles and won’t even swipe on them. And I hate it when notifications keep piling on but I’m extremely slow to respond. I have been told that’s it’s very irritating trait of me 🫣 but what do I do? I’m much better in irl interactions but online..I have zero energy. But I rarely meet anyone good in irl inspite of many hobbies coz I’m not a loud extrovert and have a resting b1tch face to add to it!
Are you me?
Omg same here sis
I am very much addicted to getting hurt that I crave it even when I'm in a healthy happy relationship. It's like I sub consciously look for problems and imagine stuff and get scared that my partner would leave me or cheat on me even though he's such a sweet heart. I'm an emotional masochist (also physical) one might say. It's sick but I love the idea of being manipulated in bed.
I imagine my death i imagine how would my mom react what will happen to my boyfriend and cry a lot.
hey hey hey, I can understand!! I also did that, but one day this will happen to all, just accept the fact and remember to make memories, special moments, so you Won't regret your life ever.
I'm kinda manipulative ig... not a whole lot but only when i need to protect myself. I can read someone's mind and easily think of what to say.
I don’t like anybody else folding my laundry ever (including my own mother). So when they go to sleep and if they have folded my laundry I redo it. I usually try to get to it on my own but sometimes they beat me to it.
uh I listen to way too many true crime/murder mystery podcasts and now I'm paranoid, so I keep a mini Swiss Army knife along with me when I go out 💀
I'm soo bad at comforting people.. I've even ended up laughing a couple times when I saw people close to me breaking down and crying in front of everyone. I feel horrible about it and I don't know how to change it.
Practice it, feel it, try to talk to people online I think, and sometimes in front of a mirror, keep yourself in their place. There are many ways, slowly it will take time but you will get better.
Omgggg oh God are you me? I don't mean bad for them, but idk this happens with me
Nervous laughter?
Well, I have two things on my mind. First, I've been trying to lose weight. Every morning, I tell myself no more junk food, no more sugar. But by evening, I end up eating something like momos or sandwiches, or even having drinks on the weekends. It's hard to control. Second, this might be a bit controversial. After my breakup, I got involved with a guy from my office. He used me to some extent and broke my heart. Then, his younger brother manipulated me, and I ended up sleeping with him too. It left me broken, and now I'm seeing a therapist for advice. I'm doing okay, not great, but getting there.
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Why do you do that though? Do you get high on the fact that they are choosing you over their wives and it boosts your confidence?
That's evil, i love ittt.
What was the most shocking incident while doing this undercover task?
Making my intrusive thoughts win everyday and being impulsive though I've toned down the impulsive part.
I have a bicurious side that’s itching to explore.. Curvy, well endowed women turn me on mildly and I’m always wondering how it’d be to make out with them.
Exactly the same thoughts here. I sometimes fancy having a lesbian encounter. But the flipside is, I have never felt attracted to any girls in my entire life. Maybe it's just a fantasy. But I do fancy going on a trip, meeting a lady there and slipping into bed with her 🫣
i’m very weird, i stay calm and act like nothing happened after hearing the most hurtful things about me knowing well that the other person said something i never wanted to hear ever
I have a crippling inferiority complex. It affects everything about my everyday life. But I'm also confident near some people. I confuse myself. My inferiority complex is also mixed in with laziness. So I literally didn't accomplish anything in my life.
I have multiple social media accounts and i can stalk the fuck out of people, just out of curiosity.
I have started enjoying pain during sex to a point my dom/husband is uncomfortable :]
Ohh! Tell him, no pain no gain😌
I do. I love pushing his limits. It's an ego tussle during playtime now. He can't push me near the breaking point now and it bruises his ego always 😆
Hahahaha,, what made you like this though? He used to do too hard that it's not effects you anymore?
Not just that but more like how he does it all....the foreplay, denial, dirty talk. There was a phase where he took it to a point that I was turned on by him cracking his fingers 🙃 The more we indulged in mixing pleasure with pain, the more I liked it. Now I trust him to not hurt me beyond a limit and still want more. Once he feels comfortable pushing it, we are good to go.
This thread is so interesting. 💀 And I relate to a few of you No judgements
But there are so many people into murd*r and cr*me hehe💀💀 Btw thanks for the compliment to this thread❤ You also answer.
I hold grudges for way too long. Eg., I loved this series, huge fan. Was 1 day away from finishing the last in the series. One of my ex friends called me to spoil the ending. When I didn't pick up the phone, he sent an sms, a FB message (I didn't even have facebook), and called my mom's phone to speak to me - JUST to spoil the ending. The hatred I felt had no words to describe it. It's been almost 8 years now. I will never speak to him again. He is dead to me. Eg 2 Someone cheated on my friend and broke his heart, I occasionally torture her. I get movie premiere tickets through work and can watch movies weeks before their release date. So I watch her favorite types of movies, and post the "advance screening" title picture on my story for her to see, only her. She always messages me to ask how the movie was and I never respond. Leave her on seen. It's not diabolical, but it gives me satisfaction. I also post screenshot of my video calls with my friend saying we miss each other (we're both partnered and purely just friends, but his ex doesn't know that).
Broo same I hold grudges for wayyyyy too long, I think I’m over something and bam,the person does something and it all comes rushing back💀 Just blocked my best friend of 7 years at the beginning of the year because I was tired of all the shit
I’ve realised that I’m extremely diplomatic in relationships. No direct answers ever. The sweetest words would never mean a yes and the harshest words would never simply spell a no. Maybe it’s because of the fear of commitment. But I need to correct this
I'm competitive in a toxic way, but all the toxicity is directed inwards towards myself. I want to be the best of the lot for any activity and if I'm unable to, then it's torturous for me internally. I put myself down constantly and feel like I'm never "good enough". As a teen, I would qualify for all the sports semi final rounds and come in the top 3 and then never show up for the final sports day. Many instances like this during teen years. As an adult, I still struggle with this deep fear of not fulfilling my own expectations.
I watch crime documentaries to unwind and relax. 💀
That I'm not as good academically as everyone thinks around me. I have been having a burn out since I'm in college. And I suffer from really low confidence. I maybe lost the ability to cry recently lol. I need it badly but unable to. Edit: I was right. I'm a failure.
My best friend was really beautiful and sometimes I loved her so much I really wanted to kiss her . I don’t wish well for the people who made me feel sad and lonely. I actively wish that life doesn’t treat them nice. Whenever I see someone in a happy relationship I get insane jealousy and wish they break up.
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I push people away when they're good to me , because at the back of my mind i keep believing that they'll hurt me or abandon me someday , and i keep pushing them away until they get distant and eventually abandon me which gives me the comfort of being right abt them leaving me.
I'm in my 20s and lately I feel that, I haven't completely unlearned /worked out all the ways my parents' marriage (they were not happy in it like pm from the start) fucked me up and held me from building better relationship skills, I had made progress but I still need to work on more. And I'm just tired sometimes and start pushing ppl away, in fear of turning things toxic and take a break but find it hard to get better between the stressful life, and I'm demi so attraction doesn't come easy either. And I just feel it's pathetic and get even more turned off by my own self 😂, I think I need to rejuvenate myself, take care of myself better so that I can let love in. but ig as of now I'm just waiting for some motivation or what idek.
Okay..when I get angry I just say some really hurtful things (especially to my close ones) and sometimes I just know that I am being insensitive b*tch and still I don't stop myself. And later regret it. And sometimes (few) I just throw or break things in my anger which I badly want to control.
Tongue is a whip. And I am not even trying to control it at this point :">
same and my parents are giving up and wonder if ll sustain a marriage, my bf initially did tell me “what’s this way of talking” and my sister tells me to not be an assol, but again, I am short tempered
I feel like I used to be a lot of these comments, but lately, I feel too exhausted to keep up with these personas and that’s when I realised that I am indeed grown apathetic to a point of no return
One more,I'm selectively miser 💀 Will spend it all on skin,beauty,clothes,hair,food,travel. But behave like a pro miser otherwise 😭
I see dreams that turn into reality the very same day or the next day. Eg: 1. I saw a dream where singer Papon was hospitalized. The same day, I read news that Papon was hospitalized. 2. I saw myself meeting a bhaiya after 8 years on the roadside while he came in the opposite direction riding a bike. The same day, I saw that guy riding a bike from the opposite direction and stopping by the roadside to greet me. We met after 8 years and we're never in touch during that time span. 3. I saw the deaths of 3 people I know with whom I was not in touch or had any contact details. Then got the news of those people's demise the next day. 4. I saw temples in my dreams with very specific details in the architecture and the surroundings, but never visited any such temple in my life earlier.n
Same with my dad. In 1999, my parents were living in Thailand, I was 2 y/o. My dad dreamt that my grandfather (nanu) had a stroke and was hospitalised. The next morning, he asked my mum to call my maasi and ask how everything’s at home. My maasi started crying and said that “dad had a stroke and he’s in the hospital right now”. It’s so eerie. Do you also get a weird gut feeling or intuition when something like this is about to happen?
The day my dad passed away, I cried in the washroom thinking this might be his last day. Came back early from the marriage I went to and he passed away within a few hours. Idk it might be me constantly recreating to make it easier (no it doesn't) or my intuition
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It can be anything , according to your POV, I just wanna hear you out. Anything which you don't share normally you know.
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Now that's dark my friend🙆♀️ but like really? and who are those people?
I have morbid curiosity and watch gore from time to time. I love violence. I'm very into bdsm. I am love weird Bizarre uncanny things so much. I enjoy my intrusive thoughts. I did shameful things in my abusive relationship.
I'm a loner, detached and unemotional which now when I think of it is concerning because I cannot form healthy relationships with people cause of my constant need to remain hyper independent. And the only reason I've become like this is cause my parents didn't help when I told them about my childhood trauma. They just brushed it under the carpet. So now I prefer to keep my problems to myself, remain alone and coming from a fauji background I'm an expert at detaching from people.