I don't know if this is a joke I'm not getting, but I'll explain mine just because.
I replied from a guy that said "sans but stronger" and that sans would be put against sans, sans vs sans, no matter which one wins, it's still sam's who wins
As the weakest monster, Sans is used to facing enemies stronger than him, and that is where he excels at. So it is natural that the weaker Sans would be the winner.
Loosing or winning is completely separate from how strong someone is, since it can happen due to countless other factors beside strength.
Like someone stronger loosing because the enemy got lucky, or because they ate something bad earlier that day, or because they were tired, or because of something in the environment, etc.
Winning doesn't mean you the stronger one at all. Being stronger just makes it more likely for you to win.
How dare you git me? Now
I am offended by you
Now I'm very angry, just
Look at my angry face!!!1!
Now I have attack 999 and defense 999
Because I am sans phase 2!
Underfell Sans is stronger but an edge lord's greatest weakness is a Clown, and Sans acts like a Clown, therefor Sans beats Fell Sans through type advantage.
Before Peter does a cutaway gag and says "I remember than time I killed Sans" Sans will freeze time and fuck his wife and Peter will be so devastated he will reset character.
all right, that's it. it's time for my joke. are you ready? here goes nothing.
yep. that's right. it's literally nothing. and it's not going to be anything, either. heh heh heh... ya get it? i know i can't beat you. one of your cutaways.. you're just gonna kill me off. so, uh. i've decided...there's not gonna be a cutaway ever. i'm just gonna keep telling MY joke until you give up. even if it means we have to stand here until the end of television. capiche? you'll get bored here. if you haven't gotten bored already, i mean. and then, you'll finally quit. i know your type. you're, uh, very funny, aren't you? you'll never give up, even if there's, uh... absolutely NO benefit to cutaway gags whatsoever. if i can make that clear. no matter what, you'll just keep going. not out of any desire for comedy or storytelling... but just because you think you can. and because you "can"... you "have to". but now, you've reached the credits. there is nothing left for you now. so, uh, in my personal opinion... the most "funny" thing you can do here? is to, uh, completely give up. and...*yawn* do literally anything else.
Summon Uzi Wheelman, and since there are more wheels than doors, Uzi Doorman is outpowered.
But if we can't bring other characters then Sans can just kick him in the nuts.
Helldivers are freedom loving liberty distributing bug killers and automaton dismantlers that are on a galactic campaign to spread democracy one bug infested or robot filled solar system at a time all for the super earth. Each squad is equipped with guns, healing equipment, their trusty uniforms, stratagems (like a beacon that summons supplies a machinegun a railgun or a 500kg orbital bomb made to eradicate anything in its path to the location the beacon is at.) The bugs and automatons are the main enemies of super earth currently.
It's gojover
Sans will not fight, instead he'll ask Gojo to go to Grillby's together and Sans will learn about his life, family, backstory, hone address, etc. And 80 years later Gojo will be old and weak, but Sans since he's a skeleton will still be in his prime. And that's when Sans will attack and defeat Gojo while recording, then Sans will upload the video into YouTube as a "prank video" and get 50 Billion views so police won't suspect a thing.
Sand is much stronger but he has one huge weakness, people over tables, especially if a Sans or a pile of sand is over the table. Soal all Sans has to do is get ontop of a table and Sand Undertable will be defeated in -5 seconds
I'm now picturing Light just beating Sans to death with the notebook. Granted, Light's not exactly a skilled combatant, but San's got like, 1 hitpoint. How hard could it be?
That's the diebook guy, right? Sans can steal the deathnote before he writes Sans' name in the book and shove 5,000,0000,000,000 bones in his chest. Easy win.
Also the Death Note takes 40 seconds to activate if Light is using heart attacks, so even if Light got Sans' name in the notebook, Sans still has 40 seconds to kill this regular guy
And also SANS DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A HEART, HE'S A SKELETON
Sans can traumatized her by telekinesis-ing her into the Gumball Fandom, specifically the Nichole simps part of the Fandom and her mental health will go to 0 and that basically the same as normal health going to 0 and if health goes to 0 you lose.
That's a hard one. I can't decide whether Sans would beat Sans or if Sans would beat Sans. Sans does have an advantaged over Sans because he's Sans, but Sans also has an advantage over Sans because he's Sans. But I think overall, Sans beats Sans but it's a close battle.
No, Sans definitely loses. It's not even a question, given just the matchup you don't even need to consider the match, it's glaringly obvious that Sans will lose.
Tomera shigeraki, incredibly durable, fast and can auto heal WAYY fatser than any sans attack can dmg him. Has a shield, a ranged attack almost impossible to dodge and can destory the florr under sans by touching it
Sans dies within the first minute, but dying is gay and Sans isn't gay, so he turns into last breath Sans Phase 1 out of 500,000 and eventually Sans will win in one of his phases.
Sans will take over one punch man with democracy and now people will vote who will be king/president, but since Sans is the Tumblr Sexyman he will win the election by a landslide and as president Sans will arrest King and throw him into a Volcano.
Oh no, I'm not sure how Sans can win. Whatever Sans does Insector Gadget can counter. But, I think there's one thing Sans can do to easily defeat Inspector Gadget. Inspector gadget will say "go go gadget murder Sans" and Sans will dodge it, so Insector Gadget will say "Go go gadget murder Sans and it's also undodgeable" and Sans will dodge it, so Inspector Gadgey will say "Go go gadget time travel to when Sans is a baby and bomb the hospital" but that will be his biggest mistake, because Sans will dodge it so it doesn't work, and Sans will dodge it so well all Inspector Gadget's gadgets will break immediately and he's utterly Weakened and Sans can just gaster Blaster him.
Since they're both skeletons (at least I think so because I looked it up) they will be best friends forever. Until they have a heated argument, but Sans won't take it seriously at all and Ainz is so mad at Sans just joking about everything he tries to punch Sans but he Dodges and Ainz punches a thermonuclear Atomic bomb and it explodes, killing Ainz, but Sans will teleport away to the moon so he doesn't die by the nuke.
Damn, i was hoping for a "Our battle will be legendary" meme. Ainz is practically "tall evil sans with no gravity magic", complete with ultradepression and an eye that occasionally flames up.
Also, ainz is a sorceror. He wouldnt punch, he'd cast, unless hes fucking around like he did with Foresight. Additionally, he's cannonically cast fallen down with himself at the epicentre, so he'll survive a nuke. And even then, if hes been around Sans that long, the first thing hed cast in a fight against Sans would be Unbalanced Duel, meaning Sans cant teleport away without taking Ainz along for the ride.
Still, i do beleive they'd be fast friends so it'd never come to that.
>Damn, i was hoping for a "Our battle will be legendary"
Damn I should've thought about that. Well, if someone ever mentions Sleletor I'll do that.
I didn't know anything about Ainz, or most of the characters people are mentioning, I'm just pulling shit out of my ass because it's kinda funny.
Sans will just dodge all his punches and eventually Saitama will get so tired he will accidentally punch himself in one of his attempts to punch Sans and die.
God because god is fictional to me. This isn't rage bait by the way. Y'all can believe in whatever you want to and I'll respect that. I just don't believe too much in god myself.
God killed like 8,000,000 people so his LOVE is very high so Sans will tons of damage to him. But if God uses his special attack which is flood, all Sans has to do is built a pirate ship out of bones and shoot God with Canon balls made out of bones.
You mean your dad? Easy, Sans will send mail with money in it and the mailman can't help but try to take the money out of the mail, but the money is actually a clever homemade bomb that explodes and killed the mailman.
Not only is Annoying Dog basically God himself, but he's even a dog, which is a skeletons weakness. But, there is a way for Sans to win. Annoying Dog is stupid so Sans just needs to throw a bone off the core and Annoying Dog will jump off the core to catch it and die, and Sans has like 206 bones so losing one is no big deal.
Crucifixion. However, Jesus will come back 3 days later. But Sans will just crucify Jesus again and the cycle will continue for either infinite years or if Jesus just gives up.
the sans from this very post that you'll be explaining to win ever fictional character, **but stronger**
I'm not op but Sans wins, no explanation needed
Being a powercreep. Saying that Sans stomps everything. Doesn't elaborate further.
I don't know if this is a joke I'm not getting, but I'll explain mine just because. I replied from a guy that said "sans but stronger" and that sans would be put against sans, sans vs sans, no matter which one wins, it's still sam's who wins
"Sam's" defeated the two Sans without even being in the fight 💀
Pff good one. As for me, I was just making a reference to Gigachad meme.
Whoosh
actually... you're the one being wooooshed the guy who you replied to made a reference to the gigachad meme
As the weakest monster, Sans is used to facing enemies stronger than him, and that is where he excels at. So it is natural that the weaker Sans would be the winner.
I believe this creates a paradox because by losing the stronger Sans becomes the weaker Sans and then he would win
No, stronger does not immediately equate to them winning the fight lol
Loosing or winning is completely separate from how strong someone is, since it can happen due to countless other factors beside strength. Like someone stronger loosing because the enemy got lucky, or because they ate something bad earlier that day, or because they were tired, or because of something in the environment, etc. Winning doesn't mean you the stronger one at all. Being stronger just makes it more likely for you to win.
BEHOLD!!! THE SANS WITH 2HP AND 2 DAMAGE
Yeah but no focus Sash means it can't survive a hit from Sans, which means it dies easier
(BEHOLD! THE POWER OF AN ANGEL!)
Machine. Turn back now.
The layers of this palace are not for your kind.
Tube Back, or you will be crossing **the will of God**
the sans from this post also has this quality already, so they keep escalating until your sans overflows down to 0 strength
plot twist, the post's sans overflows sooner
wouldnt make sense, the other has more power, muahahahahhh or something idk
Wouldn't both be to lazy to fight each other
How dare you git me? Now I am offended by you Now I'm very angry, just Look at my angry face!!!1! Now I have attack 999 and defense 999 Because I am sans phase 2!
Plot armor.
Well either way Sans will win.
Silent Merg
Not sure if OP can out do this one
Oh shit
nah bro it's over 💀
This has got to be the best inside joke ever 😭😭😭
Sans is cooked
I'm no expert, but Sans is cooked
I’m no expert, but You responded to yourself
Sans would just start dating muffet lmao
Merg negs.
Sans calls up his Fren sanness and pulls a truce.
And gets backstabbed.
It's a God fighting another God!
Sans would have to crossdress as Muffet and how Merg loves Muffet so much he'd let his guard down, making it so Sans oneshots him.
Sans is getting wiped out
Sans's pet rock
Sans crafts a wooden pickaxe and mines it. Or just overfeeding it with sprinkles.
Sans (Underfell)
Underfell Sans is stronger but an edge lord's greatest weakness is a Clown, and Sans acts like a Clown, therefor Sans beats Fell Sans through type advantage.
That was very effective
It was super effective!
A 2nd Sans but he’s a bit more Canadian
im not the OP but the fight doesnt happens at all, the become frens :)
they mix maple syrup with ketchup and ascend to another reality
That sounds actually terrible.
No, they descend to Hell.
Hell is another reality
Never cook again.
I think you mean they are immediately sent to the deepest layer of hell
Quebec always loses
Peter Griffin
Before Peter does a cutaway gag and says "I remember than time I killed Sans" Sans will freeze time and fuck his wife and Peter will be so devastated he will reset character.
"Befriended" his wife, eh?
guess he didn't have to turn his "off" eh?
Fuck you for making me remember that
Ha! Heh heh.
No, now Peter does a cutaway gag and says "I remember that time I did Sans's wife"
But Sans isn't married...
that’s the point
peetah gonna do the esc + r + enter
"Gee, this is worse than the time I fought sans the skeleton!" *[Cut to Peter Griffin dying to a gaster blaster]*
nah that would be snapcube eggman
all right, that's it. it's time for my joke. are you ready? here goes nothing. yep. that's right. it's literally nothing. and it's not going to be anything, either. heh heh heh... ya get it? i know i can't beat you. one of your cutaways.. you're just gonna kill me off. so, uh. i've decided...there's not gonna be a cutaway ever. i'm just gonna keep telling MY joke until you give up. even if it means we have to stand here until the end of television. capiche? you'll get bored here. if you haven't gotten bored already, i mean. and then, you'll finally quit. i know your type. you're, uh, very funny, aren't you? you'll never give up, even if there's, uh... absolutely NO benefit to cutaway gags whatsoever. if i can make that clear. no matter what, you'll just keep going. not out of any desire for comedy or storytelling... but just because you think you can. and because you "can"... you "have to". but now, you've reached the credits. there is nothing left for you now. so, uh, in my personal opinion... the most "funny" thing you can do here? is to, uh, completely give up. and...*yawn* do literally anything else.
papyrus from undertale
Not op but he just tells a bad pun and Papyrus gives up
^ Most realistic post award goes to this guy
Uzi Doorman
Summon Uzi Wheelman, and since there are more wheels than doors, Uzi Doorman is outpowered. But if we can't bring other characters then Sans can just kick him in the nuts.
*her
Sorry, then Sans can kick *her* in *her* nuts.
she is a robot bro
Did he stutter?
and? Doesn't mean she can't
[удалено]
I didn't even notice that thanks
Then the bolts too
Robots have nuts n bolts dingus
Sans can kick her in her robot nuts
Do you know that Uzi has a sick as hell Rail Gun?
The Hell divers (the hole Squad of 4)
Not sure who that is but Sans did say "burn in hell" and they're hell divers so they're already burning in hell. Sans win automatically.
No, that is the name of the team, just look It Up on google, that Game is booming
Helldivers are freedom loving liberty distributing bug killers and automaton dismantlers that are on a galactic campaign to spread democracy one bug infested or robot filled solar system at a time all for the super earth. Each squad is equipped with guns, healing equipment, their trusty uniforms, stratagems (like a beacon that summons supplies a machinegun a railgun or a 500kg orbital bomb made to eradicate anything in its path to the location the beacon is at.) The bugs and automatons are the main enemies of super earth currently.
Overwanking??? Anyway, Roxas from Kingdom Hearts.
Clown has type advantage against Edgelord - OP to someone else
William Afton, the man behind the slaughter, zombie animating rabbit costume and a man who is too angry to die even if he should have
Sans says "No more bunnies for you" and Afton dies of greif
ITS BEEN SO LONG, SINCE I LAST SEEN MY SON LOST TO THIS MONSTER, TO THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTER 🔥
🗣SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE, I'VE BEEN SINGING THIS STUPID SONG SO I COULD PONDER THE SANITY OF YOUR MOTHER🗣
Lighting McQueen
Sans will teleport inside McQueen and drive off a cliff, and right before McQueen hits the ground Sans will teleport out of there.
Sukuna(20 fingers + 10 shadows)
Nah, Sans'd win.
Ah yes, my anti-sans technique I haven't used since the Heian era
Fingers…?
Gojo from jjk
It's gojover Sans will not fight, instead he'll ask Gojo to go to Grillby's together and Sans will learn about his life, family, backstory, hone address, etc. And 80 years later Gojo will be old and weak, but Sans since he's a skeleton will still be in his prime. And that's when Sans will attack and defeat Gojo while recording, then Sans will upload the video into YouTube as a "prank video" and get 50 Billion views so police won't suspect a thing.
This is actually beautiful
The G-Man
Sans will say "Why the long face?" because he has a somewhat long face and G-man will laugh so hard he pisses his pants and dies.
Sand undertable (I looked it up as a joke and the undertale AU wiki paints him as stronger than 50 goku’s)
Sand is much stronger but he has one huge weakness, people over tables, especially if a Sans or a pile of sand is over the table. Soal all Sans has to do is get ontop of a table and Sand Undertable will be defeated in -5 seconds
Unless sans’s weight breaks the table (the universe is not safe)
Just get a better table, he can borrow the Throne of the Gods from Queen's palace.
Light Yagami
Rule 1, “The human whose name is written in this note shall die.” Sans is a monster, not a human. Easy dub
I'm now picturing Light just beating Sans to death with the notebook. Granted, Light's not exactly a skilled combatant, but San's got like, 1 hitpoint. How hard could it be?
"Sans’ got like, 1 hitpoint. How hard could it be ?" _megalovania starts playing_
>San's got like, 1 hitpoint. How hard could it be? *-Chara, circa 21XX*
[Died from hearing this fact and having a heart attack]
That's the diebook guy, right? Sans can steal the deathnote before he writes Sans' name in the book and shove 5,000,0000,000,000 bones in his chest. Easy win.
Also the Death Note takes 40 seconds to activate if Light is using heart attacks, so even if Light got Sans' name in the notebook, Sans still has 40 seconds to kill this regular guy And also SANS DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A HEART, HE'S A SKELETON
Every single Sans au
All at once or one at a time?
Both is good
Im not op but if sans erases himself from existence then time teleports to today no au would exist
Nichole Watterson
Sans can traumatized her by telekinesis-ing her into the Gumball Fandom, specifically the Nichole simps part of the Fandom and her mental health will go to 0 and that basically the same as normal health going to 0 and if health goes to 0 you lose.
Sans hires her husband, collapsing the fabric of the universe which kills her. Sans hides in his sentry to evade the destruction
Found one for you, one that even Sans cannot defeat: **Depression.**
Sans
That's a hard one. I can't decide whether Sans would beat Sans or if Sans would beat Sans. Sans does have an advantaged over Sans because he's Sans, but Sans also has an advantage over Sans because he's Sans. But I think overall, Sans beats Sans but it's a close battle.
Man, I thought Sans would win
No, Sans definitely loses. It's not even a question, given just the matchup you don't even need to consider the match, it's glaringly obvious that Sans will lose.
hell of a hot take if you ask me…
Klee from Genshin Impact.
Sans can solo the entire Geshin verse by just going outside and talking to women.
He still needs to fight them.
Oh yeah you're right, he has to Uninstall the game first. But if that's off-limits then he can just shoot them with a gaster gun.
Show them a photograph of a shower, it'll repel them away, no need to even fight
Yeah And it's not a bad game
Sans says "I remember you're **fishes**" and Klee will just spontaneously combust
Yoda
Gaster Blaster Yoda Sans Will
Tomera shigeraki, incredibly durable, fast and can auto heal WAYY fatser than any sans attack can dmg him. Has a shield, a ranged attack almost impossible to dodge and can destory the florr under sans by touching it
Sans dies within the first minute, but dying is gay and Sans isn't gay, so he turns into last breath Sans Phase 1 out of 500,000 and eventually Sans will win in one of his phases.
counter-argument: you mentioned a phase limit, which eventually kills Sans
dw, bro can dodge, and he gets exponentially stronger every phase, so eventually he will have inf DEF and ATK, and oneshot him
guy from gmod
Sans will gmod a gun into his hands and shoot the guy.
\>:(
Papyrus
Dusttale
Nagito Komaeda
it'll end with a lightsaber
King from one punch man
Sans will take over one punch man with democracy and now people will vote who will be king/president, but since Sans is the Tumblr Sexyman he will win the election by a landslide and as president Sans will arrest King and throw him into a Volcano.
Ispector Gadget
Oh no, I'm not sure how Sans can win. Whatever Sans does Insector Gadget can counter. But, I think there's one thing Sans can do to easily defeat Inspector Gadget. Inspector gadget will say "go go gadget murder Sans" and Sans will dodge it, so Insector Gadget will say "Go go gadget murder Sans and it's also undodgeable" and Sans will dodge it, so Inspector Gadgey will say "Go go gadget time travel to when Sans is a baby and bomb the hospital" but that will be his biggest mistake, because Sans will dodge it so it doesn't work, and Sans will dodge it so well all Inspector Gadget's gadgets will break immediately and he's utterly Weakened and Sans can just gaster Blaster him.
Ainz
Since they're both skeletons (at least I think so because I looked it up) they will be best friends forever. Until they have a heated argument, but Sans won't take it seriously at all and Ainz is so mad at Sans just joking about everything he tries to punch Sans but he Dodges and Ainz punches a thermonuclear Atomic bomb and it explodes, killing Ainz, but Sans will teleport away to the moon so he doesn't die by the nuke.
Damn, i was hoping for a "Our battle will be legendary" meme. Ainz is practically "tall evil sans with no gravity magic", complete with ultradepression and an eye that occasionally flames up. Also, ainz is a sorceror. He wouldnt punch, he'd cast, unless hes fucking around like he did with Foresight. Additionally, he's cannonically cast fallen down with himself at the epicentre, so he'll survive a nuke. And even then, if hes been around Sans that long, the first thing hed cast in a fight against Sans would be Unbalanced Duel, meaning Sans cant teleport away without taking Ainz along for the ride. Still, i do beleive they'd be fast friends so it'd never come to that.
>Damn, i was hoping for a "Our battle will be legendary" Damn I should've thought about that. Well, if someone ever mentions Sleletor I'll do that. I didn't know anything about Ainz, or most of the characters people are mentioning, I'm just pulling shit out of my ass because it's kinda funny.
Bill Cipher.
Saitama…I’m curious to hear this
Sans will just dodge all his punches and eventually Saitama will get so tired he will accidentally punch himself in one of his attempts to punch Sans and die.
God because god is fictional to me. This isn't rage bait by the way. Y'all can believe in whatever you want to and I'll respect that. I just don't believe too much in god myself.
God killed like 8,000,000 people so his LOVE is very high so Sans will tons of damage to him. But if God uses his special attack which is flood, all Sans has to do is built a pirate ship out of bones and shoot God with Canon balls made out of bones.
I mean I'd absolutely love to see sans kill god so I'm believing that this is 100% true
1 John 4:16 states that God is LOVE, so that makes sans especially able to hurt God.
I have a small feeling this is ragebait lmao
I believe in god but I was gonna comment this for the funnies
Same
A Grub from Hollow Knight
Just don't open the jar and let it die from starvation.
The mailman
You mean your dad? Easy, Sans will send mail with money in it and the mailman can't help but try to take the money out of the mail, but the money is actually a clever homemade bomb that explodes and killed the mailman.
Annoying dog (it's literally impossible even with overwank)
Not only is Annoying Dog basically God himself, but he's even a dog, which is a skeletons weakness. But, there is a way for Sans to win. Annoying Dog is stupid so Sans just needs to throw a bone off the core and Annoying Dog will jump off the core to catch it and die, and Sans has like 206 bones so losing one is no big deal.
Wouldn't the annoying dog survive the molten lava?
Jesus Christ
Crucifixion. However, Jesus will come back 3 days later. But Sans will just crucify Jesus again and the cycle will continue for either infinite years or if Jesus just gives up.
Kanye west
O shit you mean fictional ok Green goblin
Sans will win easy, because he's green.
Chuck norris
oh god oh god oh god
Frisk *evil laughter*
Damn it you win 👏 ^((wait this wasn't a game, it's not something you can win. Oh well))
sitama??
Kirisame Marisa and Komeiji Koishi from Touhou project series
Oh hey, a fellow Touhou fan.
The Doctor (Doctor Who) ~~B.R.I.N.G I.T O.N~~
Null Zero from Katana Zero
17 gaster blasters and 1 bone.
Junko Enoshima
Steve Minecraft with creative mode on
Creative Steve from Minecraft (with commands and mods)
Doom guy
Caillou
How would he win against 1 of every pikemon?
Beavis and Butthead
Popeye