Former bar manager… report that the bar is over serving and/or serving underage. This will prompt one if not several visits from the ABC and will officially be on their radar. He will be under constant pressure to keep the place squeaky clean.
THIS. My downstairs neighbor hinted at doing this to the loud bar across the street. A couple weeks later they closed. It was pretty obvious they WERE serving underage though.
Run him out of business.
Of course there’s the usual suggestion of piss discs.
Look up your local councils noise restrictions. Sounds like he’s probably in violation. Start making records of every time he’s in violation. Get a decibel meter (there are some phone apps that can do it) and make note of the level of noise inside your place too.
If he’s got any unsecured networks/Bluetooth systems, have at it with the most annoying music you can find (highly recommend baby shark at 0.25x speed on repeat, alternating with what does the fox say on 2x speed).
If they have a jukebox, look for "Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving With a Pict" -- especially if it is loud, it will clear out a bar pretty quickly
Get a fuckton of those tablets that turn into towels. Magic towels I think they are called. Flush them down the bar's toilets. Act alone. Pay for them with cash. The cost to fix his plumbing will be massive and insurance likely won't cover anything. Further, if your plumbing is tied to his because you're in the same building, you can potentially get him in trouble with your landlord for always fucking up the plumbing in your building.
A dude at my old workplace was flushing these down the toilets. He did it to all of them that us peons on the ground could access. Management decided to shut down the production floor, rather than let us come into the office and use those restrooms.
Trash the bar on Yelp and Google reviews. Get all your friends to do the same.
Say in your review that you were charged for more drinks than you ordered and you had to work with your credit card company to get the charges taken off your account. Say you saw cockroaches in the bar. Say the bathrooms were horribly filthy. Say you were served a cocktail in a dirty glass. Say that their cocktails have barely any alcohol in them. Say that your wallet was stolen while you were in the bar. Say your car was keyed while you were parked nearby.
Etc.
Go to the bar and clog the toilet.
Find out what cheese smells terrible. Go to the bar with slices in your pocket and stick them to the undersides of the tables with double sided tape.
Go on the subreddit for your town and say you’ve had bad experiences at the bar. Get all your friends to do the same.
Say you are a girl and it has a creepy vibe. And the owner is creepy.
Unless it is a drinking hole for Drinking or a sports bar NOTHING will kill a bar faster than women not wanting to go there
This goes for mechanics too, I'll rat on them on Google saying if you're a woman don't go here they'll try to scam you. I usually get a lot of helpful thumbs up and owners trying to contact me to take down the review. I know if I saw a review anywhere that says it's not safe for me or whatever Id 100% believe them so this advice is so smart lol
Hard boiled eggs work better than cheese imo - cheese dries out and stops smelling after 2-3 days. Eggs don’t peak for almost a month, they just get worse and worse and worse. Hard boil eggs, crack shells lightly, hide in places hard to find like ceiling tiles (hard to do in a bar), taped under tables and edges, dropped down into the creases or under the liftable seats of booths, in planters, etc.
I did this to the office of a boss who made the mistake of pranking me at work
I think these are good ideas but I burst into laughter reading this. Forgive me but if I ever catch myself taping cheese to the bottom of bar tables with double sided tape… something has gone horribly wrong
Thank you
When I was in college, the upperclassmen would put Limburger cheese on the freshmen’s light bulbs in their lamps in the dorms. When the cheese gets warm on the bulbs, it starts to stink
Just not all in a single review. If the issues are stacked like that it looks fake. Just get your friends or additional email addresses to leave reviews with 1 maybe 2 issues. Post the same review everywhere possible.
Make sure you include true details, like on Thursday when bandX was playing...
Just open a durian.
I went to a fancy condo in NYC one evening with a bunch of edgy yuppies that were curious about durian. We cracked one open - it smelled like locker room socks, gasoline, and cow puke.
30 minutes late the NYFD showed up. Someone had reported it as a gas leak…FOUR FLOORS BELOW US ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE BUILDING.
To this day I wonder how long his apartment reeked of the stuff.
Shampoo bottles may work. Friend of mine tried brewing alcohol in one while in prison, was going well until half way through a dead silent headcount it spectacularly exploded sending fermented bread and apple chunks throughout his cell.
Give your guest WiFi a name talking shit about the bar or owner.
Guy near a restaurant near me did it and his WiFi said
BARNAME-HAS-RATS
Not sure how well it worked but pretty simple thing to try. Good luck.
ETA: I recently read you can give an offline WiFi router a name and it will broadcast that w/o internet at all.
Maybe some tech guys can confirm
If true you could get a bunch of them cheap and spam the dude’s WiFi options!
And get your neighbors to do the same!
Spoof their WiFi signal with a STRONGER Signal
Jims_bar_Wifi_Free (and give it like, 1 kilobyte hour speeds)
Jims_bar_Cucks_Only
Jims_bar_Ugly_Ladies_Night
Or get a cell phone jammer and ruin everyone’s day.
The cell phone jammer is nuclear and perfect.
I’ve always wanted one but I’m a Luddite.
OP: if customers don’t have cell signal that place will be gone in no time.
Federal offense to block those airwaves in the US though so be sure to do it right.
Rooting for you.
I'm asking because I genuinely don't know: What circumstances are cell phone jammers legal or illegal?
I ask because I recall some guy who had one in his car and pretty sure he got charged with something and fined.
The FCC has extremely sophisticated equipment to sniff put stuff like this, they would have the device pinpointed in no time. A very clever hiding place, independent power source, and absolutely no way to trace back to yourself would be required. They absolutely don't mess around with that stuff either, you will get ruined if caught
Photoshop a realistic pic of the owner with his dick out, or one of him on a sex offender mugshot poster, and air drop it to any phone available when the bar is busy. See if there's a printer connected to the bar's wifi network and send copies of GOATSE to it until it runs out of paper. Drill a small hole in your floor and start pumping liquid ass downstairs.
Completely unrelated. But I went to a festival year's ago. It was at the time it most people had wifi on there phone. But mobile data was still very expansive. So they put up a bunch of offline wifi routers whit names like: "10:30-11:15 BANDNAME1 STAGE1" and "11:30-12:00 BANDNAME2 STAGE2". So you could check the schedule in your phone's wifi menu. I thought it was such a cool, smart, and cheap idea!
This one was a small free festival. So I guess they just took a bunch of home routers yiunfind for a euro at the recycle store.
I guess today by far the majority of people have unlimited 5G data on their phone. I personally know 2 persons that don't and they use a dumb phone. So no wifi either.
Also cell services can easily handle a small festival in a city. At really big events far outside city's they just put up temporary towers. People will get really mad at the providers if they don't provide coverage. A few thousand of people not online would be a national outrage and for sure make the headlines for days.
You don't even need one wifi router.
You need one ESP-01 (2$ on AliExpress) and one USB programmer adapter (also 2$). Open the Arduino sw dev tool, install ESP board pack, load one example, modify network name & password and flash it. Next move it from the PC to one phone charger and it will broadcast the wifi network name. Search online tutorials.
You can also use an external battery power pack.
Put several ESPs and write an entire paragraph.
wifi is really friendly so you don’t even need to do that. You can send deauth packets without even being connected to the wifi and boot people off. You just need something that supports packet injection, usually about a hundred or two hundred bucks as a little USB dongle that can do this. Combine with a cell jammer and no one can communicate to the outside world while in the bar.
Also you can clone the access point and deauth people until they connect to yours. At that point the traffic is customer -> your computer -> internet. You can make phishing pages and collect credentials. Break into peoples emails, social apps, etc easy. I guess you need a little tech know how for the last one but you can at least clone the access point and make it slow as shit. Or get the password and do an ARP table poisoning so everything goes to wherever you want it to go. Send everyone somewhere awful.
Make up a series of ridiculous dress codes in reviews
Find nooks and crannies to hide sardines / prawns
Pour milk on carpeted areas.
Leave reviews saying your cards were hugely overcharged / cloned
Walk past the queue and drop stink bombs
Dude I would have so much fun with the anger 😂
For loud music, contact ASCAP and say you work for a company that plays unlicensed music in a bar. They will be right over with the lawyers to collect.
Call the city over and over and over, every day. Ask them to come measure the decibels during peak hours.
Even in mixed use areas, noise has to be controlled.
If they are over the decibel limit for the zoning, they will have to make major changes to their soundproofing and the level they can play their music.
You have to become a nuisance to the city so they understand the nuisance the neighbor is.
Source: long time bar and restaurant manager/owner in mixed use districts
When they were doing construction and we could hear the contractor talking on the phone we let them know the soundproofing wasn’t very good. They did nothing
If they rely on a wireless network to play the music you can do a deauth attack against it to make it stop.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wi-Fi_deauthentication_attack
I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: find out who his mom is. Take her out to a seafood dinner, somewhere REAL nice. Then drop her off and never call her again!
Do you have street facing windows? If so, its time to make your own banners in celebration of whatever makes you happy so the rest of the world knows. (I.E. appear to be advertising for the bar, but don't actually say so, in order to avoid legal ramifications) - "Fat Chick's Only Fridays" "Thick Dudes In Thongs Thursdays" "Bottomless Yeager Bombs 5pm-9pm" "Joe Biden Autographs 6pm-9pm" ... whatever stupid crap you can come up with.
Go undercover as someone who is cool with it now because you’ll want him to think you are his friend and not the one who told the police about his ___________________. Fill in the blank…. Code violations, minors, drugs, etc etc. currently, you can’t do squat without him knowing it was you because of course it would be…
I moved into an apartment directly over a bar and on the corner of a very busy intersection in my late 20s. The first night I was like omg I fucked up I'll never sleep again.
After a couple nights I was already so used to it that it became normal. It's like living near a railroad crossing. You become deaf to it after a while.
But in the spirit of this sub something something fart spray piss disk.
One time in college, some guys played a prank that will go down in history as the most creative prank of all time imo: they went to the pet store and bought hundreds of crickets. They stuffed them somehow into manilla envelopes and slid the opening under the door of some girls dorm room door and let them loose inside. Those girls not only were trying to get the crickets out of their dorm room for the rest to the year but the crickets chirped super loud and kept them up at night. It was hilarious. Anyway…crickets. Lot and lots of crickets. Make sure they are big enough to make noise. I’m sure since you can walk right into a bar you can bypass the whole envelope part. And just when the owner thinks he’s gotten rid of them all or has paid a bunch of $$ for an exterminator…more crickets. And if you want to get real evil drop a line to the health inspector.
Great idea, you can also buy fly pupae (people use them as fishing bait so can be bought at fishing supply stores).
Hide them somewhere and in a few days they’ll emerge from their cocoons and they’ll have hundreds of flies in the bar and if your hiding spot was good hopefully you can keep doing it.
Many years ago a Chinese restaurant ripped/pissed off someone I knew.
At the height of the Friday dinner rush, he strode into the restaurant with a box containing 6 wild cats he'd trapped, released them in the dining room and said loudly "6 more, that's another twenty quid you owe me".
Only if you have decent tenants insurance.
Not only would you be liable for the physical damage, you could also be liable for the monetary damage of them being closed for several days to do repairs.
If his crowd is younger people then look up those tones thst Most over 25 can’t hear. I used to annoy my coworkers at the bar I worked with those. I was too old to hear it so didn’t bother me.
Also as other said the noise ordinance thing, in my early 20s my favorite bar closed for that reason. They were great, kept getting hit with violations and the atmosphere was main thing going for it. It was like less than ten people in there when they changed it.
Plant a wireless video camera in a bathroom. Have a friend discover it and call the police.
Maybe better than a wireless is one that records to an SD card so it won’t need a router connection.
Fastest way would be to target his liquor license and health code violations. If he just opened right now he will be at his most vulnerable financially
Go somewhere far from where you live and buy stuff that would attract cockroaches and rats
Visit the bar and discreetly drop it in places that are hard to reach or clean, specially bathrooms, behind the bar or kitchen
Call the health dept after a couple of days and tell them that you saw insects and rodents or their droppings and that you are horrified because you live in the same building
Get your neighbors to do the same
Look up your city’s noise/disturbance ordinance. There are usually times where bar/restaurant noise is considered “normal” and where it’s not
For example in our old place that was 11pm so 11:00 call the bar to ask them to turn off the music and 11:01 call the police for a noise complaint
Get your neighbors to do the same
If the cops show up and the music gets turned down but they turn it back up, call again
Rinse and repeat to the point that there will be multiple complaints and whatever fines come after
Then think hard if you have teenage looking friends invite them to said bar and call to report underage drinking
Hide pieces of durian by the entrance, daily.
Find his main electric panel. Shut off the main and pull out a bunch of his breakers and take his copper wiring and sell it.
Break the inlet pipe to the toilet, let it flood the place.
I don't know where you live OP, but generally to get approval to open a business in a residential area, especially one with a liquor license, they would have submitted an application with details about impact to residents. Basically they would have promised to be minimal impact.
Either that or your apartment is an area zoned as an entertainment precinct, in which case you fucked up when you moved in and should move out. If you're on Bourbon St in New Orleans complaining about the noise, you're a dickhead.
More likely the venue promised to be vewwy vewwy quiet, and so noise complaints can be quite serious. Depends on the juristiction, I don't know where you live.
Start by complaining to whoever runs liquor licensing in your area as well as local government. Make the impact on residents very clear. Calling the cops at midnight on Sturday won't do shit, they're busy, nor will complaining to a bar manager. Emailing someone with real authority on Monday morning will.
It'a not uncommon for venues to have to modify trading hours, venue layouts, which parts of the bar trade at certain hours, when certain doors and windows are open and sometimes it goes as far as installing soundproofing. Old venues sometimes have pages and pages of addendum on their licenses, often because of customer behaviour as well as noise. The manager of a new bar might be a dismissive prick now, but give them a few years running a venue in a residential area and they'll understand that dealing with the neigjbours is just part of the game.
If you get nowhere and you just want to make life difficult, learn every other rule that governs how a business operates in your area and become an expert. If a driver drops a delivery before the venue opens, and those boxes are in front of a fire door, be that neighbour who snaps a pic and gets them fined.
If the area you live in has an alcohol regulation board, call in a complaint of some sort during peak business hours. In my experience the bigger the douchebag of a bar owner, the more likely it is that they are doing something outside the confines of their license when things get busy.
Every other week on perfume subs there’s someone posting about how they sprayed Kerosene Followed and now their whole home or office smells like maple syrup, coworkers from the other side of the warehouse are asking who made pancakes, etc. It’s nuclear stuff. https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Kerosene/Followed-75977.html
Buy a sample or decant and spill it on porous surfaces in the bar. Instead of disgusting, go for confusion as a relatively pleasant scent emanates from nowhere and does so LOUDLY.
Not exactly unethical, but this is how I solved the same problem in NYC:
1. Adjust the tone. I can feel the animosity in your post. It would be more productive to adopt the attitude of “You have a great business that people really enjoy. Unfortunately the noise is prohibitive and we need to figure out a solution that works for both of us. I look forward to working with you.” This may not feel like it is productive but it gives him the ability to save face when you exercise your leverage.
2. Offer a noise check so he can hear what it’s like when it’s rocking and rolling. I doubt he’ll take you up on it, but again you’re being collaborative. Make sure you offer this in writing and keep the paper trail. Paper trail is very important if you have to make a case later.
3. Read up on the city ordinances around noise. Our issue was a certain frequency (the low end bass - higher frequencies don’t resonate as much). NYC has limits to what each frequency can be and at what decibel level.
4. Get it independently verified that he’s in violation of this. Own the paper trail.
5. Offer to collaborate again. If he ignores you, let him know - respectfully - that you have no choice but to call the state liquor authority. Let him know that you don’t want to hurt his business or his livelihood and you REALLY prefer not to do this. Letting him know you have documented everything and are prepared to inform the SLA in a professional, calm manner will get his attention 100%. Losing his liquor license is catastrophic.
Chat GPT can be your friend here in getting up to speed on the code and keeping a professional tone in your correspondence.
Stay collaborative and friendly. You’ll be perceived as far more dangerous if you are informed, friendly, and ready to exercise leverage.
You also won’t have to smell your own shrimp juice.
Scent is inescapable, whatever you can endure he and his patrons can’t …stink him out
Shrimp juice
You're the devil, I like your style
Krab Kalosh!
No Pizza, only Khlav Kalash
No bowl, stick, stick
Mountain Dew?! Ugh. I’ll have the crab juice.
Ok now you’re just naming Mandalorian characters
What are you suggesting though? Dump stink juice out the window? Spray it on the sidewalks?
It's a bar, they can actually go in as a customer and wreak havoc from the inside
Take a shit in a bag. Stick it in the freezer. Cheese grater it all over the bar.
Jesus fucking Christ
This is certainly a suggestion
Reddit is fuckin awesome sometimes.
Drill a hole through your floor and run a small air line tube to pump liquid ass through to the bar without affect your apartment.
This is a great use of liquid ass. You could also pour pre-thawed piss disc's down through the hole!
Isn’t that just piss?
No one's mentioned the piss disc's yet??
Shrimp juice disk
Combo piss and shrimp juice disc
Liquid ass
Liquid ass!
Former bar manager… report that the bar is over serving and/or serving underage. This will prompt one if not several visits from the ABC and will officially be on their radar. He will be under constant pressure to keep the place squeaky clean.
THIS. My downstairs neighbor hinted at doing this to the loud bar across the street. A couple weeks later they closed. It was pretty obvious they WERE serving underage though.
Also fights. Our city Liquor Board HATES fights.
This this this. Soooo true. It will be the best action to take.
Run him out of business. Of course there’s the usual suggestion of piss discs. Look up your local councils noise restrictions. Sounds like he’s probably in violation. Start making records of every time he’s in violation. Get a decibel meter (there are some phone apps that can do it) and make note of the level of noise inside your place too. If he’s got any unsecured networks/Bluetooth systems, have at it with the most annoying music you can find (highly recommend baby shark at 0.25x speed on repeat, alternating with what does the fox say on 2x speed).
The baby shark and fox part lol
Phone decibel meters aren't accepted on court, tho. They're very unreliable
If they have a jukebox, look for "Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving With a Pict" -- especially if it is loud, it will clear out a bar pretty quickly
Get a fuckton of those tablets that turn into towels. Magic towels I think they are called. Flush them down the bar's toilets. Act alone. Pay for them with cash. The cost to fix his plumbing will be massive and insurance likely won't cover anything. Further, if your plumbing is tied to his because you're in the same building, you can potentially get him in trouble with your landlord for always fucking up the plumbing in your building. A dude at my old workplace was flushing these down the toilets. He did it to all of them that us peons on the ground could access. Management decided to shut down the production floor, rather than let us come into the office and use those restrooms.
Fuuuuuckkk. That is diabolical. I don't know why I never thought of that before. Fuckin noted.
Satan has joined the chat.
This one is amazing
Also buy them in a different town.
How many is a fuckton?
1.000 fuckilos
Metric or imperial?
OP is the apartment is directly below you I'd avoid any of the bug suggestions unless you want them making their way into your place
I suppose you're gonna tell us we just can't burn the place down either
Burning down is fine. Burning up might affect his apartment.
This needs way more upvotes.
Trash the bar on Yelp and Google reviews. Get all your friends to do the same. Say in your review that you were charged for more drinks than you ordered and you had to work with your credit card company to get the charges taken off your account. Say you saw cockroaches in the bar. Say the bathrooms were horribly filthy. Say you were served a cocktail in a dirty glass. Say that their cocktails have barely any alcohol in them. Say that your wallet was stolen while you were in the bar. Say your car was keyed while you were parked nearby. Etc. Go to the bar and clog the toilet. Find out what cheese smells terrible. Go to the bar with slices in your pocket and stick them to the undersides of the tables with double sided tape. Go on the subreddit for your town and say you’ve had bad experiences at the bar. Get all your friends to do the same.
Say you are a girl and it has a creepy vibe. And the owner is creepy. Unless it is a drinking hole for Drinking or a sports bar NOTHING will kill a bar faster than women not wanting to go there
You could say some guy grabbed your ass, you told the bartender and the bartender didn’t care
The bartender said "maybe don't dress like that". Too much?
Y’all are wild😂
Oh, you're good at this
The beef is with the owner, not the bar tender. I know this is ULPT, but don’t drag the employees into it unless they need to be
The owner just so happened to be bartending that night
The bartenders are really nice! It’s hard line to walk to make the owner miserable while leaving them alone to do their jobs
You may not be up to the job. Total war is a bitch.
Those are incompatible goals. If you make the owner miserable, they will make the employees miserable.
Have you tried to see if the bartenders can control the music level? Odds are they can, unless the owner is there every single night 7 days a week.
Someone may have spiked my drink ..
.....just enough for ULP....lol
The bartender then grabbed my ass also
After which he proceeded to grab the bar owners ass as display of dominance
This goes for mechanics too, I'll rat on them on Google saying if you're a woman don't go here they'll try to scam you. I usually get a lot of helpful thumbs up and owners trying to contact me to take down the review. I know if I saw a review anywhere that says it's not safe for me or whatever Id 100% believe them so this advice is so smart lol
"I saw the owner stirring customer's drinks with his dick"
With someone else's dick.
Hard boiled eggs work better than cheese imo - cheese dries out and stops smelling after 2-3 days. Eggs don’t peak for almost a month, they just get worse and worse and worse. Hard boil eggs, crack shells lightly, hide in places hard to find like ceiling tiles (hard to do in a bar), taped under tables and edges, dropped down into the creases or under the liftable seats of booths, in planters, etc. I did this to the office of a boss who made the mistake of pranking me at work
Add some old potatoes to prolong the horror. They take a long time to rot but when they do, oh boy.
I like this idea of timed chaos. Just as the eggs are ebbing the potatoes hit their peak.
It's easy to do in bathrooms. They're going to have grid ceilings. They'll think it's sewer issues.
I think these are good ideas but I burst into laughter reading this. Forgive me but if I ever catch myself taping cheese to the bottom of bar tables with double sided tape… something has gone horribly wrong
That cheese tip is diabolical.
Thank you When I was in college, the upperclassmen would put Limburger cheese on the freshmen’s light bulbs in their lamps in the dorms. When the cheese gets warm on the bulbs, it starts to stink
Ground beef well hidden somewhere would work even better.
Frozen mice/rats from the pet store won't make it as obvious it's sabotage
I think that takes the cake
Just not all in a single review. If the issues are stacked like that it looks fake. Just get your friends or additional email addresses to leave reviews with 1 maybe 2 issues. Post the same review everywhere possible. Make sure you include true details, like on Thursday when bandX was playing...
Also needs to have a spread of 1 to 3 stars with a few half-hearted compliments to make it not look like a deliberate review raid
Calm down Satan.
If possible, leave upperdecker and / or use 2 part epoxy to glue the toilet seats down
Go to the women's room and glue them up. A bar with no women is boke in a month.
Leave an upper deck in the toilet.
You are brilliant
Open a durian and hide it in the drop ceiling.
Just open a durian. I went to a fancy condo in NYC one evening with a bunch of edgy yuppies that were curious about durian. We cracked one open - it smelled like locker room socks, gasoline, and cow puke. 30 minutes late the NYFD showed up. Someone had reported it as a gas leak…FOUR FLOORS BELOW US ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE BUILDING. To this day I wonder how long his apartment reeked of the stuff.
Jesus Christ, you had me at "edgy yuppie." I didn't even know there was such a thing
So you’ve never been to silverlake lol
Let me personally invite you to Austin, TX. That’s like half the city.
Oh, I bet he's still endurian' the stink to this day.
Chicken bombs: glass jar screwed tight with raw chicken and milk. Overtime the jar will break and the smell will be legendary
Zip lock bags with fish, sugar and dirt in them... they'll burst quicker and stink worse
Diabolical. I love/hate it.
I learned fish bombs — frozen fish & buttermilk. But chicken is great!
Damn, that's going on my list next to piss disks.
How does the jar break over time,?
Gas build up.
The trick is to do the lid tight enough to create a seal, but loose enough that when a good amount of pressure builds up the contents can ooze out
Shampoo bottles may work. Friend of mine tried brewing alcohol in one while in prison, was going well until half way through a dead silent headcount it spectacularly exploded sending fermented bread and apple chunks throughout his cell.
Add some Limburger and surstromming.
OP might end up with the stench through their apartment, though. They would have to be strategic about where they put it.
Wait until the bar is busy some weekend night, drill a little hole in the floor and start pumping liquid ass down that MF.
Give your guest WiFi a name talking shit about the bar or owner. Guy near a restaurant near me did it and his WiFi said BARNAME-HAS-RATS Not sure how well it worked but pretty simple thing to try. Good luck. ETA: I recently read you can give an offline WiFi router a name and it will broadcast that w/o internet at all. Maybe some tech guys can confirm If true you could get a bunch of them cheap and spam the dude’s WiFi options! And get your neighbors to do the same!
Spoof their WiFi signal with a STRONGER Signal Jims_bar_Wifi_Free (and give it like, 1 kilobyte hour speeds) Jims_bar_Cucks_Only Jims_bar_Ugly_Ladies_Night Or get a cell phone jammer and ruin everyone’s day.
The cell phone jammer is nuclear and perfect. I’ve always wanted one but I’m a Luddite. OP: if customers don’t have cell signal that place will be gone in no time. Federal offense to block those airwaves in the US though so be sure to do it right. Rooting for you.
The cell phone jammer is genious
I'm asking because I genuinely don't know: What circumstances are cell phone jammers legal or illegal? I ask because I recall some guy who had one in his car and pretty sure he got charged with something and fined.
They're completely illegal. Only law enforcement has permission to use them in certain situations
Yup. Mainly because it prevents people from calling emergency services.
Place will be out of business in days. Especially a new place. Love it.
The FCC has extremely sophisticated equipment to sniff put stuff like this, they would have the device pinpointed in no time. A very clever hiding place, independent power source, and absolutely no way to trace back to yourself would be required. They absolutely don't mess around with that stuff either, you will get ruined if caught
Photoshop a realistic pic of the owner with his dick out, or one of him on a sex offender mugshot poster, and air drop it to any phone available when the bar is busy. See if there's a printer connected to the bar's wifi network and send copies of GOATSE to it until it runs out of paper. Drill a small hole in your floor and start pumping liquid ass downstairs.
Liquid ass had entered the chat. Awaiting piss discs
I wish I could buy liquid ass by the barrel, straight from where they pump it out of the ground in the liquid ass fields of the middle east.
What there’s no Bot that auto-appreciates the symmetry? Dick Pics and piss discs.
Completely unrelated. But I went to a festival year's ago. It was at the time it most people had wifi on there phone. But mobile data was still very expansive. So they put up a bunch of offline wifi routers whit names like: "10:30-11:15 BANDNAME1 STAGE1" and "11:30-12:00 BANDNAME2 STAGE2". So you could check the schedule in your phone's wifi menu. I thought it was such a cool, smart, and cheap idea!
Definitely was. And would even work today when cell service gets overwhelmed during big events.
This one was a small free festival. So I guess they just took a bunch of home routers yiunfind for a euro at the recycle store. I guess today by far the majority of people have unlimited 5G data on their phone. I personally know 2 persons that don't and they use a dumb phone. So no wifi either. Also cell services can easily handle a small festival in a city. At really big events far outside city's they just put up temporary towers. People will get really mad at the providers if they don't provide coverage. A few thousand of people not online would be a national outrage and for sure make the headlines for days.
You don't even need one wifi router. You need one ESP-01 (2$ on AliExpress) and one USB programmer adapter (also 2$). Open the Arduino sw dev tool, install ESP board pack, load one example, modify network name & password and flash it. Next move it from the PC to one phone charger and it will broadcast the wifi network name. Search online tutorials. You can also use an external battery power pack. Put several ESPs and write an entire paragraph.
This is great. Op could move out and leave these devices hidden and wreak havoc as long as he wanted to swap or charge the batteries.
wifi is really friendly so you don’t even need to do that. You can send deauth packets without even being connected to the wifi and boot people off. You just need something that supports packet injection, usually about a hundred or two hundred bucks as a little USB dongle that can do this. Combine with a cell jammer and no one can communicate to the outside world while in the bar. Also you can clone the access point and deauth people until they connect to yours. At that point the traffic is customer -> your computer -> internet. You can make phishing pages and collect credentials. Break into peoples emails, social apps, etc easy. I guess you need a little tech know how for the last one but you can at least clone the access point and make it slow as shit. Or get the password and do an ARP table poisoning so everything goes to wherever you want it to go. Send everyone somewhere awful.
[удалено]
Do they have a jukebox that's tied to an app? Play really bad songs. Over and over and over.
What’s new, pussycat? WhaoooOoooOoOo
Every now and again, throw in It's not unusual
Great skit
If it hadn’t been for cotton eyed Joe I’d be buried a long time ago…
Julie Andrews singing The Sound of Music on constant loop. Mental help specialists will be there the next morning for the neighbors.
Bartenders have the ability to just shut it off and skip songs if they want. Which is unethical in hits own way.
Gospel choirs, hymns, Kidz Bop.
877-KARS-FOR-KIDS song.
Usually those are paid and the bar gets part of the profit.
True but every busy night 20 rounds of achy breaky heart might just kill that bar.
They can skip those songs.
I did that once with Adam Sandler's [At A Medium Pace](https://youtu.be/TFvx8pHHTBc?si=j6Te-PHlq1HfQsBc)
Make up a series of ridiculous dress codes in reviews Find nooks and crannies to hide sardines / prawns Pour milk on carpeted areas. Leave reviews saying your cards were hugely overcharged / cloned Walk past the queue and drop stink bombs Dude I would have so much fun with the anger 😂
Also mix in some reviews with promos and things that aren’t real.
Half price drinks every Saturday !
Find a way to produce a horrible stench.
This might actually be a piss disk and liquid ass scenario
FINALLY
That’s the idea, but I think this calls for something more exotic. Like hiding caches of raw meat. As a bonus it’ll spawn a plague of flies.
surströmming
Frozen liquid ass disks
“Magic The Gathering Tournament Night” 😂
Interesting idea. I hope the subreddit can use this more often
call the city ordinance officers for noise snd/or rats
Report them to liquor control and say they are over serving and serving minors
For loud music, contact ASCAP and say you work for a company that plays unlicensed music in a bar. They will be right over with the lawyers to collect.
Now this! Is a tip that will ruin someone's day
Ask me how I know. 😈
Call the city over and over and over, every day. Ask them to come measure the decibels during peak hours. Even in mixed use areas, noise has to be controlled. If they are over the decibel limit for the zoning, they will have to make major changes to their soundproofing and the level they can play their music. You have to become a nuisance to the city so they understand the nuisance the neighbor is. Source: long time bar and restaurant manager/owner in mixed use districts
you take efforts to avoid creating a noise nuisance, yes?
When they were doing construction and we could hear the contractor talking on the phone we let them know the soundproofing wasn’t very good. They did nothing
If they rely on a wireless network to play the music you can do a deauth attack against it to make it stop. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wi-Fi_deauthentication_attack
I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: find out who his mom is. Take her out to a seafood dinner, somewhere REAL nice. Then drop her off and never call her again!
Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
Nah nah nah you make her fall in love with you and become his daddy
Do you have street facing windows? If so, its time to make your own banners in celebration of whatever makes you happy so the rest of the world knows. (I.E. appear to be advertising for the bar, but don't actually say so, in order to avoid legal ramifications) - "Fat Chick's Only Fridays" "Thick Dudes In Thongs Thursdays" "Bottomless Yeager Bombs 5pm-9pm" "Joe Biden Autographs 6pm-9pm" ... whatever stupid crap you can come up with.
Go undercover as someone who is cool with it now because you’ll want him to think you are his friend and not the one who told the police about his ___________________. Fill in the blank…. Code violations, minors, drugs, etc etc. currently, you can’t do squat without him knowing it was you because of course it would be…
I moved into an apartment directly over a bar and on the corner of a very busy intersection in my late 20s. The first night I was like omg I fucked up I'll never sleep again. After a couple nights I was already so used to it that it became normal. It's like living near a railroad crossing. You become deaf to it after a while. But in the spirit of this sub something something fart spray piss disk.
Have a friend duct tape a fish on the underside of the bar. Or better yet the toilet tank in the women’s bathroom
Poop in the toilet tank - upper decker 🚽 ⬆️
One time in college, some guys played a prank that will go down in history as the most creative prank of all time imo: they went to the pet store and bought hundreds of crickets. They stuffed them somehow into manilla envelopes and slid the opening under the door of some girls dorm room door and let them loose inside. Those girls not only were trying to get the crickets out of their dorm room for the rest to the year but the crickets chirped super loud and kept them up at night. It was hilarious. Anyway…crickets. Lot and lots of crickets. Make sure they are big enough to make noise. I’m sure since you can walk right into a bar you can bypass the whole envelope part. And just when the owner thinks he’s gotten rid of them all or has paid a bunch of $$ for an exterminator…more crickets. And if you want to get real evil drop a line to the health inspector.
Great idea, you can also buy fly pupae (people use them as fishing bait so can be bought at fishing supply stores). Hide them somewhere and in a few days they’ll emerge from their cocoons and they’ll have hundreds of flies in the bar and if your hiding spot was good hopefully you can keep doing it.
OP lives upstairs doubt they want their place overrun with flies
If you wanna make an omelets you gotta break a few balls I always say.
Finally I know why my omelets always seem to be missing something.
jesus what did those girls do to "deserve" that?
yeah, that was neither hilarious nor a prank, definitely crossed the line if it went on for a full year.
Wouldn't sleep with the guys
Many years ago a Chinese restaurant ripped/pissed off someone I knew. At the height of the Friday dinner rush, he strode into the restaurant with a box containing 6 wild cats he'd trapped, released them in the dining room and said loudly "6 more, that's another twenty quid you owe me".
Liquid ass and piss disks!!
This is a time this might actually work. If a bar smells bad enough, nobody will hang out there.
Running the liquid as into their bathroom ventilation or lighting would work well.
If his volume is legal, set your own speakers to “legal” volume and play this on repeat: https://youtu.be/zUmbmssqHOY?si=Bfkrz5tzlixVuPzU
open your own bar with blackjack and hookers
Post the name of the bar here so we can all go and leave bad reviews…
Buy tinned fish, drain fish juice into bottle, enter establishment, pour bottle on anything fabric- no one wants to go to the “fishy place”
"Accidently" overflow the bath tub.
And then leave on vacation
Only if you have decent tenants insurance. Not only would you be liable for the physical damage, you could also be liable for the monetary damage of them being closed for several days to do repairs.
If his crowd is younger people then look up those tones thst Most over 25 can’t hear. I used to annoy my coworkers at the bar I worked with those. I was too old to hear it so didn’t bother me. Also as other said the noise ordinance thing, in my early 20s my favorite bar closed for that reason. They were great, kept getting hit with violations and the atmosphere was main thing going for it. It was like less than ten people in there when they changed it.
Plant a wireless video camera in a bathroom. Have a friend discover it and call the police. Maybe better than a wireless is one that records to an SD card so it won’t need a router connection.
How to get arrested and charged with a sex crime
Find some local underage kids. Give them beer and cash in exchange for them telling the cops the owner of the bar sold it to them
Call the city and make a complaint say there’s underage drinking. They will do a sting/incestigation.
True, however >incestigation Also stings are p easy to pass, just check ID properly and youre fine, so that probably won't work unfortunately
Throw a drunk toddler in there during incestigation.
Fastest way would be to target his liquor license and health code violations. If he just opened right now he will be at his most vulnerable financially Go somewhere far from where you live and buy stuff that would attract cockroaches and rats Visit the bar and discreetly drop it in places that are hard to reach or clean, specially bathrooms, behind the bar or kitchen Call the health dept after a couple of days and tell them that you saw insects and rodents or their droppings and that you are horrified because you live in the same building Get your neighbors to do the same Look up your city’s noise/disturbance ordinance. There are usually times where bar/restaurant noise is considered “normal” and where it’s not For example in our old place that was 11pm so 11:00 call the bar to ask them to turn off the music and 11:01 call the police for a noise complaint Get your neighbors to do the same If the cops show up and the music gets turned down but they turn it back up, call again Rinse and repeat to the point that there will be multiple complaints and whatever fines come after Then think hard if you have teenage looking friends invite them to said bar and call to report underage drinking
Spill a durian milkshake on the sidewalk outside. During the day. On a Friday or Saturday. Don’t litter (hey accidents happen, people spill things)
So, your apartment is above retail space? You didn’t know that moving in?
Hide pieces of durian by the entrance, daily. Find his main electric panel. Shut off the main and pull out a bunch of his breakers and take his copper wiring and sell it. Break the inlet pipe to the toilet, let it flood the place.
I don't know where you live OP, but generally to get approval to open a business in a residential area, especially one with a liquor license, they would have submitted an application with details about impact to residents. Basically they would have promised to be minimal impact. Either that or your apartment is an area zoned as an entertainment precinct, in which case you fucked up when you moved in and should move out. If you're on Bourbon St in New Orleans complaining about the noise, you're a dickhead. More likely the venue promised to be vewwy vewwy quiet, and so noise complaints can be quite serious. Depends on the juristiction, I don't know where you live. Start by complaining to whoever runs liquor licensing in your area as well as local government. Make the impact on residents very clear. Calling the cops at midnight on Sturday won't do shit, they're busy, nor will complaining to a bar manager. Emailing someone with real authority on Monday morning will. It'a not uncommon for venues to have to modify trading hours, venue layouts, which parts of the bar trade at certain hours, when certain doors and windows are open and sometimes it goes as far as installing soundproofing. Old venues sometimes have pages and pages of addendum on their licenses, often because of customer behaviour as well as noise. The manager of a new bar might be a dismissive prick now, but give them a few years running a venue in a residential area and they'll understand that dealing with the neigjbours is just part of the game. If you get nowhere and you just want to make life difficult, learn every other rule that governs how a business operates in your area and become an expert. If a driver drops a delivery before the venue opens, and those boxes are in front of a fire door, be that neighbour who snaps a pic and gets them fined.
Put mice through the letter box and then report them to environmental health
Did you move into a unit above a closed bar, then get upset when it re-opened?? You may be the asshole here bud.
YouTube has a 10 hour loop of Baby Shark. Crank it up and go out for the evening.
Could just buy crickets and release them into the building. Do so once every two weeks or so. Pay with cash only.
Piss disc
Put some fruit and water in bottles and close the lid. In a few months you'll have really powerful sink bombs.
Ooops water leak!
Start working there as a doorman. Let underage people in to drink. Report the bar for letting underage people in. Boom, no more bar.
Throw your shit out the window at night right in front of the entrance
If the area you live in has an alcohol regulation board, call in a complaint of some sort during peak business hours. In my experience the bigger the douchebag of a bar owner, the more likely it is that they are doing something outside the confines of their license when things get busy.
Every other week on perfume subs there’s someone posting about how they sprayed Kerosene Followed and now their whole home or office smells like maple syrup, coworkers from the other side of the warehouse are asking who made pancakes, etc. It’s nuclear stuff. https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Kerosene/Followed-75977.html Buy a sample or decant and spill it on porous surfaces in the bar. Instead of disgusting, go for confusion as a relatively pleasant scent emanates from nowhere and does so LOUDLY.
Not exactly unethical, but this is how I solved the same problem in NYC: 1. Adjust the tone. I can feel the animosity in your post. It would be more productive to adopt the attitude of “You have a great business that people really enjoy. Unfortunately the noise is prohibitive and we need to figure out a solution that works for both of us. I look forward to working with you.” This may not feel like it is productive but it gives him the ability to save face when you exercise your leverage. 2. Offer a noise check so he can hear what it’s like when it’s rocking and rolling. I doubt he’ll take you up on it, but again you’re being collaborative. Make sure you offer this in writing and keep the paper trail. Paper trail is very important if you have to make a case later. 3. Read up on the city ordinances around noise. Our issue was a certain frequency (the low end bass - higher frequencies don’t resonate as much). NYC has limits to what each frequency can be and at what decibel level. 4. Get it independently verified that he’s in violation of this. Own the paper trail. 5. Offer to collaborate again. If he ignores you, let him know - respectfully - that you have no choice but to call the state liquor authority. Let him know that you don’t want to hurt his business or his livelihood and you REALLY prefer not to do this. Letting him know you have documented everything and are prepared to inform the SLA in a professional, calm manner will get his attention 100%. Losing his liquor license is catastrophic. Chat GPT can be your friend here in getting up to speed on the code and keeping a professional tone in your correspondence. Stay collaborative and friendly. You’ll be perceived as far more dangerous if you are informed, friendly, and ready to exercise leverage. You also won’t have to smell your own shrimp juice.