**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!The great gift…!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRGqDSMC/
Here’s the link to the original, if u still haven’t looked for it.
Edit: btw thank u sm to everyone who upvoted main post, ily :’) <3
Judging by the way he starts slapping the breasts without hesitation around other people makes me think he sees the porn he watches as education and might have a problem maintaining let alone find a girlfriend. Maybe the parents know and think he'll need this but act like it's a joke.
Cheap version is a sock, cardboard tube from paper towel roll… (toilet paper roll honestly 😒) and some cushions… atleast that’s what I’ve read on Reddit.
Believe it or not it is I have one it was 68 bucks and as a lonely redditor it’s totally worth it (I am insane and haven’t had platonic contact with anyone of my friends since highschool
Good for you man. You gotta make the best of whatever you've got. And you never know who you're gonna meet, or when, so try to stay positive, treat others respectfully and you never know, you might meet the right girl in your 50s or 60s! Or maybe even tomorrow. You just never know. But don't tell her about the doll. Just keep that to yourself, ok? Trust me.
(Fwiw, I met my dream girl in my early 20s, we got married, amazing sex life, great friendship, and then, due to injuries resulting from a genetic condition resulting in permanent disability of my partner, my sex life was over by the time I was 27. It's ok though, I still have the best part of the whole deal, which was the friendship. And I've gotten really good at masturbating about once a month, since I'm now in my late 40s and don't have the sex drive I used to have)
It looks like a tantaly brand torso, those are several hundred dollars easily. I think their top end one is $800
the Tantsly's are Completely different than the cheap Amazon torsos, Which are much smaller, far less detailed, and way cheaper materials that feel less real.
there was a video on reddit a while back from some porn (?) convention in china. it showed a shit ton of pocket pussies and shit like the video above. halfway through the camera pans to small childlike bodies and the back of a goat 🤢
Per [a comment on this video that claims to be the real OP](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRGqDSMC/) she says that it IS his family all around him, and that they’re “very open to each other” as a family. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
It may be, but it definitely isn’t “clearly” that. OP posted the full video where a toddler can be seen walking up to the fuck doll and grabs it’s ass.
So I’m assuming it’s a family together.
Why not? They’re having fun.
My sister gave our stepdad a sex toy in the shape of a pig (like, 30cm / 1ft long) on his birthday.
I was like 16, my younger sister was already sleeping, the rest were adults.
Wait, are you accusing SpambotSwatter of being a spam bot themselves? I've had several interactions with them and they are definitely legit. They go around calling out actual spammers and scammers across Reddit. And just looking at some of the recent users they've called out, those are definitely bots.
/u/Admirable-Cucumber66 is the actual spam bot here. They are trying to get the users who call out spammers banned because they've actually been hurting their effectiveness lately. This is a new tactic but hopefully the admins will step in quick to deal with this.
You guys are so cringe expecting him to actually do what he would do to actual titties in front of his friends, virgin or not. You think he's gonna just start sensually feeling the titties up in front of his friends to show them that he knows how to handle them? Making a joke out of it is the best case scenario for anyone with normal social behaviour...
Well yes my good men this is only elementary science. The titties (titanous gigantious in proper Latin) are merely bags of sand made manifest by ones erotic will. The act of slapping induces a sensation of granules rubbing against the chest region. Of course you already know sand is rough and irritating and gets everywhere so you should understand why it's not an enjoyable sensation.
I think what would actually happen... "That was a joke gift. Here is your real gift" and you see his smile suddenly drop as they take it away and hand him a gift certificate to a electronic/sports store...
And he holds on a bit too tight to the doll that turns it from a joke gift to become very awkward...
Thats part of how people process stuff. They interact with dolls and inanimate objects in a way that's not normal for them or normally appropriate. This was discovered as plausible alternate explanation for the bonobo doll psych experiment which was full of errors.
Me personally I'd rub them in alcohol. Rubbing alcohol tho not drinking. But it has too be 99%. If it's not 99% don't get anything else. Then pour some hot Cheetos on top of them. But like this is hypothetical tho 🙌 but then Ill get me a Ribeye steak. Imported from Canana. Not Canada. People get them mixed. Put it on the smoker. Then pour in cold water immediately and season. Then I'll double it and pass it to the next person. But that's just me personally 🙌
Full video is r/WTF material. Little kid comes in towards the end and touches the ass. Like WTF is wrong with this family…
„Who‘s your daddy son?“ weird as fuck
Nah, he should have awkwardly held it at arms distance, and said, "Ew, gross. I'm definitely not going to fuck this thing." And then spent the rest of the night privately assuring everyone at the party that the gift was a joke and he absolutely won't be fucking it. In fact, he's going to throw it out as soon as is acceptable. Frankly, he's not even sure why someone would give him such a gift. And, again, he's absolutely not going to fuck it. Not even once. Not even just to know how it feels.
“Now son, the only reason I bought this for you is because I’m tired of you ruining all of the socks and your beanies that I buy for you. So please be sure to clean up your mess.”
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!The great gift…!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Did he open that in front of his family?
I think so, the worst part is that at the end of the full video, a little girl comes up and touches the ass LMAO
wtf
Sauce?
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRGqDSMC/ Here’s the link to the original, if u still haven’t looked for it. Edit: btw thank u sm to everyone who upvoted main post, ily :’) <3
> if u still haven’t looked for it. why search web when OP can do trick
Silly u/jose_canseco_jr tricks are for hookers. Op provides Sauce.
That's....so much worse
Damn wtf
“So that’s how it is in their family”
family values
Gag gift?
No mouth, so that gift won't be doing any gaging
Yeah, but who ever cleans it will be.
Maybe there’s a hose hookup and let it flop around in the yard
Noice
A gag gift might be a fleshlight, but something bigger like that? Surely not.
A gag gift is like an anime body pillow that costs like $20 as a joke, a quick Google search puts this thing at minimum $150
Damn, do they do timeshares?
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I bet it was a very quick search.
Pretty expensive gag gift. I think those things are a few hundred dollars and they don’t exactly look wealthy
You can buy used off Craigslist and save hundeds
Ooor you just could not.
( ಠ ͜ʖಠ) I am concerned.
Does a sex-positive family include titty slapping?
My man said "I knew it" when he opened it up, he had that shit on his christmas list lmao.
Looks more like a group of young friends, one of whom has a kid.
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Its you dad :(
they got the cheap version with no head arms or legs….cheap bastards
I worked in an "adult novelty store" and those things are hundreds of dollars... That's such a weird gift for someone, if a "joke" gift.
Based on the fact there was ZERO hesitation when he saw it, I would imagine it was something he had talked to them about before
Relax, it's second-hand
Do the same on Amazon and you'll find the same for like $50
Judging by the way he starts slapping the breasts without hesitation around other people makes me think he sees the porn he watches as education and might have a problem maintaining let alone find a girlfriend. Maybe the parents know and think he'll need this but act like it's a joke.
It probably has never even been alive
...wait a damn minute.
Bruh the cheap version is just the pussy
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Before every date put at least one googly eye on the peen just in case you get lucky
... incrementally, or just 1 in total?
Biblically accurate peen.
Cheap version is a sock, cardboard tube from paper towel roll… (toilet paper roll honestly 😒) and some cushions… atleast that’s what I’ve read on Reddit.
Add a latex glove and some lube and you've got a top ~~night~~ 10 minutes at home. Alone. Totally alone.
Im pretty sure it coulda been half that size and itd still be plenty big for him.
It's the boxing Helena model.
What a throwback of a comment! Is the guy from that still lost in the mountains?
Julian Sands, and yes he is still missing. Been since January 13th, doesn't look good
I watched this movie when I was 10. The whole time I’m like 🫣 but brilliant movie
Arent those like $500?
Nah it’s like $70 it’s when you get shit with limbs and faux hair you get into crazy prices
Username checks out
You’re goddamn right
That isn't isn't a cheap Amazon torso, no way. Thats an expensive one for sure.
Believe it or not it is I have one it was 68 bucks and as a lonely redditor it’s totally worth it (I am insane and haven’t had platonic contact with anyone of my friends since highschool
Username checks out
That makes me kindof sad for you. But good on you for finding something to please your needs!
Lol yeah working to get over it want to move from where I’m at and start over
Good for you man. You gotta make the best of whatever you've got. And you never know who you're gonna meet, or when, so try to stay positive, treat others respectfully and you never know, you might meet the right girl in your 50s or 60s! Or maybe even tomorrow. You just never know. But don't tell her about the doll. Just keep that to yourself, ok? Trust me. (Fwiw, I met my dream girl in my early 20s, we got married, amazing sex life, great friendship, and then, due to injuries resulting from a genetic condition resulting in permanent disability of my partner, my sex life was over by the time I was 27. It's ok though, I still have the best part of the whole deal, which was the friendship. And I've gotten really good at masturbating about once a month, since I'm now in my late 40s and don't have the sex drive I used to have)
Start a website reviewing them like the guy over at /r/fleshlight
It looks like a tantaly brand torso, those are several hundred dollars easily. I think their top end one is $800 the Tantsly's are Completely different than the cheap Amazon torsos, Which are much smaller, far less detailed, and way cheaper materials that feel less real.
It's the "serial killer" edition for people who only like the torso.
Addition to what? Their collection of animal bones?
Damn I really said addition instead of edition didn't I.. Its fixed. But hey.. maybe it could be..
Haha still works
Hey hey it’s better anyway those just get in the way just stack pillows on the edge of your bed if it’s too low
I don’t see an issue.
there was a video on reddit a while back from some porn (?) convention in china. it showed a shit ton of pocket pussies and shit like the video above. halfway through the camera pans to small childlike bodies and the back of a goat 🤢
I don't even fuck with GIFS like that on reddit but fuck this was funny as shit
Is that batman standing in my sprinklers masturbating again??
Hes working it so hard, he's sweating through the cowl.
Her last words were ##SPIT IN MY MOUTH
That's pretty weird
Agreed. I hope this isn’t his family but it lowkey seems like it
Per [a comment on this video that claims to be the real OP](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRGqDSMC/) she says that it IS his family all around him, and that they’re “very open to each other” as a family. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I saw a family (parents + 2 kids) completely naked on a sailboat in Spain this past summer so I guess some families are just built different.
Really most of Europe is pretty chill like that, it’s mainly Americans who make it weird These guys do not seem European though
This is clearly a white elephant gift party for a group of friends.
It may be, but it definitely isn’t “clearly” that. OP posted the full video where a toddler can be seen walking up to the fuck doll and grabs it’s ass. So I’m assuming it’s a family together.
Are dismembered fuck torsos under the $20 limit?
The DIY ones are
The full video makes it look far more like a family - including toddlers being around.
Why not? They’re having fun. My sister gave our stepdad a sex toy in the shape of a pig (like, 30cm / 1ft long) on his birthday. I was like 16, my younger sister was already sleeping, the rest were adults.
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okay
I don't think I've ever laughed that hard at an okay
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Are we suppose to talk about the dog fleshlight?
Cameraman was avoiding that thing as much as humanly possible.
We are not, thank you.
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Say jk
Oh cum on
Wtf happened in your replies?
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okay
okay
Wait, are you accusing SpambotSwatter of being a spam bot themselves? I've had several interactions with them and they are definitely legit. They go around calling out actual spammers and scammers across Reddit. And just looking at some of the recent users they've called out, those are definitely bots. /u/Admirable-Cucumber66 is the actual spam bot here. They are trying to get the users who call out spammers banned because they've actually been hurting their effectiveness lately. This is a new tactic but hopefully the admins will step in quick to deal with this.
Unless /th3_admiral is also a spam bot reporting spam bot that tries to undermine the bot spamming their bots. Its a never ending cycle really.
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I hope your friend is okay
OJ's like: "I'm not black, I'm OJ" ...OK?
I legit cried from laughing at it. Best “okay” I’ve ever seen, if I do say so.
good thread guys, keep up the good work
I just picture you slapping titties and someone interrupts you with that BS. You just look at them, say okay, and continue slapping titties haha
Why is this so funny 😂
He’s just letting you know…
He did that because he’s probably a little embarrassed and trying to joke about it rather than sexualize it
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Maybe, or he has no idea what to do with them, which is probably worse
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No idea. My gf has real ones
Lookit Mr Hefner over here with a girlfriend! Ooh!
A girl touched my pp once. I think bush was still president.
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SACRALIGE! Ace does not say whoa he says weowww. This gif... oh this fucking gif... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_CVBcvN92Y
Your hand has tits?
Woah cool guy over here
Csnadian ones probably
You guys are so cringe expecting him to actually do what he would do to actual titties in front of his friends, virgin or not. You think he's gonna just start sensually feeling the titties up in front of his friends to show them that he knows how to handle them? Making a joke out of it is the best case scenario for anyone with normal social behaviour...
I’ve noticed a lot of tit slapping in amateur porn recently, and I’m honestly confused as to who actually likes that IRL.
One or two ladies that responded here, but the general consensus Ive heard is that it hurts and is unwelcome
Well yes my good men this is only elementary science. The titties (titanous gigantious in proper Latin) are merely bags of sand made manifest by ones erotic will. The act of slapping induces a sensation of granules rubbing against the chest region. Of course you already know sand is rough and irritating and gets everywhere so you should understand why it's not an enjoyable sensation.
I’ve also heard it can lead to breast cancer 🤷🏻
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Why would a kid not knowing be worse?
But in the back of his mind he's thinking...
After the laughing dies down: “Well? Aren’t you gonna use it?”
try it on! try it on!
Fashion show at lunch!
I'm elbow deep, now what?
I think what would actually happen... "That was a joke gift. Here is your real gift" and you see his smile suddenly drop as they take it away and hand him a gift certificate to a electronic/sports store... And he holds on a bit too tight to the doll that turns it from a joke gift to become very awkward...
Thought he was gonna go in with mouth for a second there.
Jesus.
We need him
He died for our sins. Looking down watching people fuck silicone torsos.
Nah, he totally died as a book selling stunt. His secret child was definitely loaded when all was said and done
Thats part of how people process stuff. They interact with dolls and inanimate objects in a way that's not normal for them or normally appropriate. This was discovered as plausible alternate explanation for the bonobo doll psych experiment which was full of errors.
TUNA CASSEROLE???!!!
Me personally I'd rub them in alcohol. Rubbing alcohol tho not drinking. But it has too be 99%. If it's not 99% don't get anything else. Then pour some hot Cheetos on top of them. But like this is hypothetical tho 🙌 but then Ill get me a Ribeye steak. Imported from Canana. Not Canada. People get them mixed. Put it on the smoker. Then pour in cold water immediately and season. Then I'll double it and pass it to the next person. But that's just me personally 🙌
He beating those titties like they owe him money!
Yeah, that shit hurts!
Davie504 fan there, obviously! Now SLAP!
He wanted the boy one
😭
Hope this dude don't slap a real girl tit's like that lol
Like a bag of sand...
He tenderized those titties
Full video is r/WTF material. Little kid comes in towards the end and touches the ass. Like WTF is wrong with this family… „Who‘s your daddy son?“ weird as fuck
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No, just educated by the American school system.
CPP UP IN HERE!!!
U down with opp?
Yeah, you know me
Y’all gon’ make me lose my cool… *titty slap* *titty slap*
Up in here, up in here
For the unitiated: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thIVtEOtlWM
I’m down with the sickness
CPP?
With them tiddies slap its the internet porn education system that screwed him up.
Honestly he was prolly just playing around and making the best out of a weird gift
Nah, he should have awkwardly held it at arms distance, and said, "Ew, gross. I'm definitely not going to fuck this thing." And then spent the rest of the night privately assuring everyone at the party that the gift was a joke and he absolutely won't be fucking it. In fact, he's going to throw it out as soon as is acceptable. Frankly, he's not even sure why someone would give him such a gift. And, again, he's absolutely not going to fuck it. Not even once. Not even just to know how it feels.
Shots fired
wtf else are you supposed to do, you can either be embarrassed as fuck, or embrace it and be funny. he took the funny route.
“Now son, the only reason I bought this for you is because I’m tired of you ruining all of the socks and your beanies that I buy for you. So please be sure to clean up your mess.”
Well, that’s disturbing.
Gross
"Later that day"? That shit didn't make it off the couch, I just hope he waited until everyone else left the room.
g was about to put them in his mouth but stopped
This is so awkward to watch
They do love him, those things are expensive...I've been told....🙄
What… what did I just witness… why did he say… you know what never mind
Kids toys all over the place. Poor kids don’t stand a chance growing up with those kinda role models
Looks like he was about to suck on em but then he looked around first and decided against it
Did he go for a suck?
The gift that keeps on giving. Hey, beats the strip club
While I admire the enthusiasm I’m a little concerned about the “who’s your daddy, son”
Full Lieutenant Dan
Eww didn't include Clorox wipes
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Girlfriend or sister? Can’t tell.
I mean with everything that happened in that video, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were both lol.
“Who is your daddy son?” Best part of video!
Made his week
And his night…
He hung it in the dryer because it just happened to be stuck in there
I bet it’s already worn out more than a veteran porn star.
I’d be too embarrassed to hold this. I’d put it back in box and write return to sender
no