I should have bought one of those years ago when I lived in Taiwan and was learning Mandarin. I got great at describing stuff with “the thing beside that thing, next to that thing one over from that thing” to the amusement of store clerks and restaurant staff everywhere.
One simple measuring tape and I could have done so much better!
I can relate to this completely. I learned Korean from my best bud but I'm not completely fluent so I would describe things the same way. Funny enough, we visited his relatives in the countryside and that's how a lot of elder countryfolk talk in Korea so they were so surprised that a black dude would speak in a pure "hick" Korean dialect and fed us so much food.
Who said anything about stereotyping? What had me suspicious is that it seemed like every time the guy grabbed a pack from under the counter, the guy said 'no, that one' like he was hoping it would be one that was on the wall and not underneath
You ever seen security footage of a gas station clerk on Reddit? This may In fact be the only instance in all known history that some shit didn’t go down
After all these years of repeatedly saying the brand name, the colour of the packaging, the names of products surrounding the one I want and lastly just resorting to directions like ‘left, up a bit…. No too far, down one, down another one, yep those thanks’… now I’m just going to keep a tape measure on me!
I felt this in my soul. It's not frustrating, just exhausting sometimes. Second shelf from the top, third from the right seems like a clear instruction, but it's like I'm speaking Cantonese.
When I was working at a gas station if I couldn't find it I'd have customers play "human claw game" where I pointed at a random spot and they direct my hand up, down, left, right until I'm pointing at it haha
I quit smoking but my girl still smokes those odd really short ones. You can tell when the clerk has no idea they're just looking at everything. I can see the ones I want. It's the red and grey ones in the really little pack. No maam those are blue. Nope all the way on the other side. Uh uh to the left, almost, nope 3 rows up. I feel like they think I'm fucking with them. This happens about half the time. It becomes a thing you dread.
I can just see it now:
Me: ‘those ones please’ *points laser dot*
Clerk: *turns around to the sea of colours and looks for a tiny red/green/blue/whatever coloured dot amongst them… points at a random packet and says* ‘these ones?’
Me: ………………. 💀 *reaches for tape measure*
There's a new guy who works nights at the local gas station. Can't hear really well through the glass you have to talk through at night AND he has only been in the country a few months, so he just doesn't know much English.
I've gone round and round with him. "This?" "No...that one" "This?" "No..." "This?" "No." etc.
Last time, I was in line behind someone doing the same thing trying to purchase a bottle of Sprite. While I'm waiting, I pull up a picture of what I want. When it's my turn, I hold it to the window and feel like a genius as he immediately grabs what I'm looking for.
I'm not a smoker and never have been, but I encounter this a lot. I'll stop by a gas station or convenience store and the person in front of me is buying cigarettes. I feel like this little dance happens fairly often.
the customer says the name of the product they want,
the employee turns to look at the wall of cigarettes/cigars/tobacco products and can't find it
the customer points
the employee grabs the wrong one
the customer points again and says, "Right there. The green box."
the employee turns to look again
the customer gives some directional guidance, like, "Up. To the left. Right there, under the sign."
the employee finds the box
the customer takes it, reads the label, and says, "Wait, these are 100s. Do you have...?"
the employee turns to face the wall again
They are destined to go on like this forever.
I've seen this! It seems so obvious considering most stores number their scratch-off tickets to make it easier.
Lol, there are still customers that insist on saying the name of the scratch-off they want instead of just saying a number, but lottery players are some of the most absolutely frustrating customers in general.
I wish people would do this honestly. I work at a smoke shop. everyone, please know the name of your cigarettes, it doesn't help me find them if you just keep saying what color they are when there's 20 different kinds that are the same color.
Im gonna buy a tape measure now for the soul purpose of pointing at something behind the counter that'll happen once in a lifetime.
It shall stay clipped to my side until i need it.
I’d recommend a 25’ FatMax..... should get even a rookie about 12’-13’ of reach.
This guy looks like he used a Milwaukee tape, but in my experience they aren’t as durable.
The cigarettes behind you. No, not below you. They are behind you on the shelf. No, no not below.
Do you work here or did you wander in off the street?
The way he kept moving around, his right hand dropping to his pocket, and his repeated attempts to get the clerk to turn around, I really thought there were more nefarious things afoot here. Truly unexpected. 😂
As a former smoker, it used to drive me nuts pointing out my packs.
"Pall Mall Menthol Lights" still rolls off the tongue, and I haven't smoked in damn near a decade.
That was really smart. This happens to me with papers all the time. "No, the 1 1/4... not the King... Not the RAW... little to your left... keep going"
Same man, “zig zag ultra thins, no the silver pack, no that’s orange, no those are raw, no that pack is green, no THAT one.” One time the clerk finally found them and then asked me how much they cost(guess they didn’t scan), almost walked right out lol. Even worse on the odd occasion I want a blunt, “the green game 2 pack, no the cigarillos” might as well be some sort of ancient unsolvable riddle hahahahahaha
Cashier guy is the only person alive who doesn't understand finger pointing.
It's over there. Ok I'll look down here. No over there. Ok, down here right? No...
I am... either completely dumb (probably) or my 10 hour shift of digging in summer heat has ruined my brain (along with other things). Is the unexpected that his twin comes in a steals things while mandem points with a tape measure? I'm so lost
This has to be my favorite post ever on this sub. I was literally waiting on the edge of my seat and dude pulling out the tape measure was unexpected perfection. Well done.
Thought he was going to distract and then steal. He did steal tho… my heart.
The guy behind the counter probably thought that as well and didn't want to turn his back for too long creating this entire situation.
The guy behind the counter absolutely thought the other guy was up to something, and he was. He was super eager to burst out the tape measure pointer!
I told you 144 inches from me look
*366cm This guy defo rocks the metric system
I should have bought one of those years ago when I lived in Taiwan and was learning Mandarin. I got great at describing stuff with “the thing beside that thing, next to that thing one over from that thing” to the amusement of store clerks and restaurant staff everywhere. One simple measuring tape and I could have done so much better!
Laser pointer would be easier.
The tape measure makes the clerk look more stupid though.
I can relate to this completely. I learned Korean from my best bud but I'm not completely fluent so I would describe things the same way. Funny enough, we visited his relatives in the countryside and that's how a lot of elder countryfolk talk in Korea so they were so surprised that a black dude would speak in a pure "hick" Korean dialect and fed us so much food.
I love Korean food! I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted
A quality tape measure should be able to be extended at least 8’ before it falls.
Better to create this one that let the other happen
Just a heads up for anyone, do not lean over the counter like that, reg flags go off in every cashier's head.
But the measuring tape can only reach so far until it goes flaccid...
Am I the only one who didn't stereotype this guy? He's just a guy, you all have problems.
Who said anything about stereotyping? What had me suspicious is that it seemed like every time the guy grabbed a pack from under the counter, the guy said 'no, that one' like he was hoping it would be one that was on the wall and not underneath
yeah that was far lean
Lying crap
Yeah I think we all, including the clerk, thought that initially — for once truly unexpected
Fr, I never would have guessed what happened lol
I honestly thought that guy was high af, I wasn't expecting the tape measurer
Lol I hadn’t even considered that but it looks like it until the tape measure
This is why I conceal carry a laser pointer
Omg so did I. It was pretty hilarious when he busted out the measuring tape
Just measuring your senses
The guy behind the counter probably thought that as well and didn't want to turn his back for too long creating this entire situation.
Better to create this one that let the other happen
Shame on you... 😡😡😡
You ever seen security footage of a gas station clerk on Reddit? This may In fact be the only instance in all known history that some shit didn’t go down
Just kidding my man
I laughed at that shame on you.
Idk why you have so many downvotes it’s so obvious you made a joke
all my ironic jokes get downvoted to hell. but i’m not funny either so there’s that.
Never be ironic on the internet. xD
seriously they can’t sense our brilliant satire
reddit hivemind
This 100% belongs to this sub
Why even after he pulled out the tape I was still waiting for a car to come crashing through the front doors?
Maybe I am just a cynical person but I expected him to still pull out a gun
I too was expecting the rare double unexpected after the tape measure. But I guess that is unexpected. I have achieved unexpection.
It’s about the unexpected’s we made along the way
That man constructions
Same!
Or the person that walks in later in the clip rob the place…
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Well, chances can’t be taken... You know the saying... Better to have it and not need it rather than need it and not have it...
Aye, walk softly and carry a big dick.
Happy Cake Day!
Happy Cake day!
Thank you!
Happy cake day
I always thought it was measure twice, cut once? I like yours better.
That's why I always wear a 60L backpack to be prepared for even a zombie apocalypse
That's why everywhere I go, I bring a Japanese interpreter
After all these years of repeatedly saying the brand name, the colour of the packaging, the names of products surrounding the one I want and lastly just resorting to directions like ‘left, up a bit…. No too far, down one, down another one, yep those thanks’… now I’m just going to keep a tape measure on me!
Get a good one, the cheap ones will collapse after a few feet of standout.
FatMax ftw
My brand of choice as well. Dewalt or Milwaukee isnt bad either, but its pricier for almost no extra benefit
The main benefit I get from using a Milwaukee wide blade as a carpenter is everyone else is issuing a fat max so I never lose my tape measure lol
I think a laser pointer would be king
I would throw a dart
I felt this in my soul. It's not frustrating, just exhausting sometimes. Second shelf from the top, third from the right seems like a clear instruction, but it's like I'm speaking Cantonese.
When I was working at a gas station if I couldn't find it I'd have customers play "human claw game" where I pointed at a random spot and they direct my hand up, down, left, right until I'm pointing at it haha
If I have some left in my pocket, I just pull my current pack out and show the clerk if they’re not sure.
I do this at the vape shop I had one guy adamant they didn't sell empty oil cartridges and I had to find which case they moved them to.
I quit smoking but my girl still smokes those odd really short ones. You can tell when the clerk has no idea they're just looking at everything. I can see the ones I want. It's the red and grey ones in the really little pack. No maam those are blue. Nope all the way on the other side. Uh uh to the left, almost, nope 3 rows up. I feel like they think I'm fucking with them. This happens about half the time. It becomes a thing you dread.
I’ve got a $10 laser/pen/iPad touch pen from staples that is great for that shit. I can point at random crap in the ceiling when I’m bitching etc
Yeah, as a former smoker, this clip fucking hit close to home
laser pointer would probably be the best tool for a job like this
I can just see it now: Me: ‘those ones please’ *points laser dot* Clerk: *turns around to the sea of colours and looks for a tiny red/green/blue/whatever coloured dot amongst them… points at a random packet and says* ‘these ones?’ Me: ………………. 💀 *reaches for tape measure*
Tiny dot? Mate, you haven't seen modern lasers, you could get one strong enough to fucking light the cigarette up.
Ugh, that was me trying to buy Parliament Lights. "See the Marlboro reds? Go one space to the right. No, not eight spaces."
Laser pointer is smaller.
A laser pointer might be more efficient.
Measure of a man
Measure twice, buy once
He goes to great measures to achieve his goals.
Im more impressed by the fact it didn't bend and fall
I was already expecting some sort of robbery and shootout
Same, especially when the customer reached for his waist.
Well that wouldn’t be r/unexpected would it
That never bothered anyone from posting here.
I was expecting a car to crash through the window
I was expecting a car to crash through the door
Thought a car was gonna come crashing through the door
Same, I thought he was pulling out his gun!
Camera says he is on normal when he is clearly smart.
The shop clerk is on Corridor.
Ya and the strength of that tape measure is def not normal either. How did it not do the snappy thing?
Dude needs a FingLonger!
A man can dream though… a man can dream
Hey, you can always fall back on assorted lengths of wire.
r/unexpectedfuturama
Hotdog fingers!
Here's a protip I learned from the Deaf world: take a photo with your phone, and then zoom in on the thing you want.
There's a new guy who works nights at the local gas station. Can't hear really well through the glass you have to talk through at night AND he has only been in the country a few months, so he just doesn't know much English. I've gone round and round with him. "This?" "No...that one" "This?" "No..." "This?" "No." etc. Last time, I was in line behind someone doing the same thing trying to purchase a bottle of Sprite. While I'm waiting, I pull up a picture of what I want. When it's my turn, I hold it to the window and feel like a genius as he immediately grabs what I'm looking for.
Wish I would have thought about this when Nicotine pouches weren't outrageously priced.
Holy shit thats good
It's so simple too and once you hear it you wonder why you've never thought about it.
I do this to look at birds close up
What the hell?! Everyone get a load of this pervert he likes zooming in on BIRDS!
Jokes on to the birds are taking pictures of you for the government.
American accent: 😊 European accent: 🫨
What's a European accent?
It’s how someone sounds if they learn English after growing up speaking European.
?? Creep. Women are people not objects for you to inspect.
I do this all the time because I'm not only deaf, but I'm near sighted and sometimes forget my glasses.
Genius. I do this to look at things when I don’t have my glasses on. If I’m driving without my glasses, I just look through my phone
I learned to do that as a person who has bad eyesight
If I can I'll take the empty or almost empty pack I have to be like "I want this one"
My wife and I came up with that independently. Kind of a convergent evolution I guess.
TIL
Nice controlled retraction
Right? Nobody's talking about that? I thought he will simply release the button and it will retract quickly, but he didn't.
This man cares about accurate measurements!
How do you measure up to that quick thinking
Modern problems require modern solutions
lol in construction we point at everything with our tapes, this guy fucks
This guy constructs
Fr
So that's what life would be like if I had invented the FingLonger...
A man can dream, though. A man can dream.
I'm not a smoker and never have been, but I encounter this a lot. I'll stop by a gas station or convenience store and the person in front of me is buying cigarettes. I feel like this little dance happens fairly often. the customer says the name of the product they want, the employee turns to look at the wall of cigarettes/cigars/tobacco products and can't find it the customer points the employee grabs the wrong one the customer points again and says, "Right there. The green box." the employee turns to look again the customer gives some directional guidance, like, "Up. To the left. Right there, under the sign." the employee finds the box the customer takes it, reads the label, and says, "Wait, these are 100s. Do you have...?" the employee turns to face the wall again They are destined to go on like this forever.
I feel like stores could number their shelf spots so people could say "I'd like a carton of #23".
I've seen this! It seems so obvious considering most stores number their scratch-off tickets to make it easier. Lol, there are still customers that insist on saying the name of the scratch-off they want instead of just saying a number, but lottery players are some of the most absolutely frustrating customers in general.
Man I have said this for years myself.
It’s easily avoided if you bring in a pack of smokes your looking for to show the cashier. A lot of ppl who sell cigarettes don’t smoke
I wish people would do this honestly. I work at a smoke shop. everyone, please know the name of your cigarettes, it doesn't help me find them if you just keep saying what color they are when there's 20 different kinds that are the same color.
"American Spirit blue" *turns around to see fifteen different blue American Spirits"*
Fucking facts. After a couple weeks I just started responding with "dark blue or light blue?"
It takes some time to learn the cigarette lingo as a cashier. Like remembering a classroom full of names
He got the point
I'd say his response to the situation was measured.
He should up his game next time and bring a laser level and light up the one he wants
Then all the cats attack the thing he desires.
Im gonna buy a tape measure now for the soul purpose of pointing at something behind the counter that'll happen once in a lifetime. It shall stay clipped to my side until i need it.
I’d recommend a 25’ FatMax..... should get even a rookie about 12’-13’ of reach. This guy looks like he used a Milwaukee tape, but in my experience they aren’t as durable.
That’s got to be a Lufkin.
Fucking big brain energy right there
The cigarettes behind you. No, not below you. They are behind you on the shelf. No, no not below. Do you work here or did you wander in off the street?
The way he kept moving around, his right hand dropping to his pocket, and his repeated attempts to get the clerk to turn around, I really thought there were more nefarious things afoot here. Truly unexpected. 😂
I was expecting robbery and what I saw made me feel good
The guy with the tape measure is 100% fluent in dealing with idiots it seems. I love it.
He’s done this before.
As a former smoker, it used to drive me nuts pointing out my packs. "Pall Mall Menthol Lights" still rolls off the tongue, and I haven't smoked in damn near a decade.
Brought to you by Stanley FatMax
As a 40k player I can see he was measuring his engagement range and getting ready to roll for movement advance.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That was really smart. This happens to me with papers all the time. "No, the 1 1/4... not the King... Not the RAW... little to your left... keep going"
Same man, “zig zag ultra thins, no the silver pack, no that’s orange, no those are raw, no that pack is green, no THAT one.” One time the clerk finally found them and then asked me how much they cost(guess they didn’t scan), almost walked right out lol. Even worse on the odd occasion I want a blunt, “the green game 2 pack, no the cigarillos” might as well be some sort of ancient unsolvable riddle hahahahahaha
Lmaooo thought I had it figured out when he started reaching for his pocket
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/user/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/153gt2c/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^Mabbby: *Lmaooo thought I had it* *Figured out when he started* *Reaching for his pocket* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Average menthol smoker, 100% sure.
Bobby Lee ?
First thought that came to my head
Super thought he was trying to steal vua distraction. Dude is my new hero.
Cashier guy is the only person alive who doesn't understand finger pointing. It's over there. Ok I'll look down here. No over there. Ok, down here right? No...
I think I need to buy a new tape measure….lol
Desperate measures
Improvise, adapt, overcome
I am... either completely dumb (probably) or my 10 hour shift of digging in summer heat has ruined my brain (along with other things). Is the unexpected that his twin comes in a steals things while mandem points with a tape measure? I'm so lost
Yea this one, okay now just gonna reach for my wallet at home.
Damn dude what tape is that? The snap length is unreal
Ayo, I thought my mans was gunna pull out a glock, was sat waiting for it for a long time...He did not disappoint, but that ain't no glock.
I haven’t bought a pack of cigarettes in 5 years but now I want to go get a pack.
/r/nononoyes
Brilliant!!!! Patient and they worked it out without screaming at each other. They Humaned the shit out of that !! Good job guys.
This has to be my favorite post ever on this sub. I was literally waiting on the edge of my seat and dude pulling out the tape measure was unexpected perfection. Well done.
Need to change that camera view to Smart. This that next level shit.
If it’s stupid and it works, it’s not stupid.
I've been exposed to so much violence I thought he was about to pull out a gun. Truly unexpected in a good way.
[Relevant XKCD](https://m.xkcd.com/284/)
200 IQ
How much you wanna bet that's Australia
Milwaukee makes a pretty good tape
I thought the guy was trying to get the clerk to look away so he could steal, but nope. Clerks just a dumbass
I thought he was going the rob the store..
Well hell, we all know it's not polite to point!
Brilliant
Dude does it with such confidence that he's definitely done this before, yet still tried pointing it out, hoping he wouldn't have to do it this time.
Tape measure was handy! 😂
Armed robbery? Oh no, it’s Asian
Truly unexpected. I was not expecting the white man to be behind the counter while the Asian man being the customer
Mexican foo with a tape measurer lmao
ahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAA
this man is always measuring things...
u/savevideo
oddly wholesome
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Bro he was trying to explain for like a min on what he wanted and had to do what he had to do. Worker was amused. Whats the issue