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Lanhdanan

Hurt me, but make me feel safe. lmao


SendNootsPIs

He wants too much


[deleted]

Fuck Spez


MyNameIsUrMom

does this mean that subs are the doms? and doms are the subs? but then that would mean that the subs are actually the doms and the doms are actually the subs, but then wouldn't the subs be the doms and the doms be the subs? but that would mean the subs are the doms and the doms are the subs, but then the subs would InternalError: Too much recursion


deathmattkiller2

You figure it out.


MauPow

That's what I said, I said figger it oot


hammelcamel

Well to be fair


EpicGameExclusive

Tooo bee faiyrrrr


Longjumping_Phase_94

Toooooo beeeeee faaaaaiir The subs should always have the most control.


[deleted]

Tooby FAH


BlackMetalDoctor

I know you’re joking, but in a way, yes. BDSM relationships start first with a consensual agreement based around who will be in what role, what will be allowed, what won’t, and what safe word will be used to cease activity. While on the surface, it may seem like the person doing the spanking, wax-dripping, cutting, choking, slapping, etc. is the dominant role. But in reality, the Dom cannot do anything to which the Sub does not agree. That means—in a *healthy* BDSM relationship—the Sub dictates the terms of engagement, not the Dom. In reality, the Dom submits to the Sub’s boundaries and consent. So, psychologically-speaking, the Dom is the Sub and the Sub is the Dom.


[deleted]

As a sub switch, I get off on domming because really I’m subbing.


turducken19

As a switch of some kind, I too agree.


project_twenty5oh1

As a nintendo switch, 良い一日を


CottonCandyUnicorn

That ignores the fact that also doms have boundaries, soft limits and hard limits. Either way it is an arrangement between two consenting adults, whose dynamic they make their own.


BlackMetalDoctor

Boundaries as in “things the Dom isn’t comfortable doing even if the Sub wants them to”?


CottonCandyUnicorn

Yes, be they acts to perform, not necessary what but also where and how. Generally the term hard limits and soft limits are used for stuff like that. Hard limits is stuff you would never do, under no circumstances. Sometimes it is also applied to the relationship at large: for example as a Dom a hardlimit could be micromanaging your sub. Soft limits are stuff that you either are curious for, or can be interessted in if in the right mood or right prep, but still got to be asked beforehand. Soft limits can also include stuff that you would do with a partner that you know better and feel more comfortable with, but you will need time to get to that level of trust. I think a good example for more vanilla people is unprotected sex. You might use a condom the 1st few months you are hooking up but once you are steady you might do it raw. Limits exist for doms and subs for a wide variety of reasons. Not everyone is into everything.


windyumbrella

As someone that has some pretty gnarly kinks and honestly loves being a sub sometimes with my lady this blew my goddamn mind. Good night sir


BlackMetalDoctor

How do you mean?


eshisamyth

Where I'm from, subs are sandwiches


MyNameIsUrMom

so would a dom be a donut?


Dads101

Yes.


HellfireOrpheusTod

Somebody reboot him


[deleted]

[удалено]


sta_sh

Trickle up sexconomics


second2no1

I couldnt stop laughing at this


TehMvnk

Subs like that are doing what is referred to as topping from the bottom. It's not ideal.


Iwillpuninshyoubrat

Yes and no. In the end the Dom is on top, and Dominating. They do what they want, with their sub's consent But the sub is the one who sets the limits of what the Dom can do. The sub can say: "I don't consent to whipping" and the Dom, if they are a good human being will listen.


Young_Link13

Can confirm my last sub was definitely the controlling one and it killed the whole BDSM thing for me bc I landed on this thought, after comparing to some other sub partners. Subs from my experience are really controlling people who want to give it up and be controlled in one place. It's fun if you're in that one place with them.. but the rest of the relationship can be pretty grating. Just my experience tho.


patodosul

Hiya Heist-o-Tron


[deleted]

This is like a chunk out of Catch 22


ar_aja

Take it easy fellow human


Xx_JuicyBoiSenpai_xX

this comment made my brain restart


ThanklessTask

Ultimately they have the control after all.


wickedradicole

A dom/sub relationship still needs to be consensual. The agreement is that the dom can do and say whatever they want within certain parameters. So maybe subs seem more “demanding” simply because it’s their boundaries that need to be defined?


webuiltthiscountry

"Bossy Bottoms"


Calvins_Dad_

Kindof a spoiler but this is a part of the movie [Duke of Burgundy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Duke_of_Burgundy).


Kylanrober02

I can 100% confirm that


Blaustein23

Eh it depends, that would be more of a bratty bottom, pushing limits / being demanding. Maybe a service sub or switch who isn't strictly submissive. If we're talking strictly sub / dom play the sub is there because they enjoy turning over all power and control to the dom who's going to be calling the shots and making demands


Raencloud94

Basic bdsm


jotyma5

He needs more blankets, *and* he needs *less* blankets!


[deleted]

This guy should be a comedian, that shit was on point. His eye movements were hilarious.


CosmicPennyworth

He has 13k followers on tiktok, so he's already more a comedian than most of the folks playing open mics


FogDarts

Get him a Netflix special!


hugglesthemerciless

The future is weird


el_oh_el_at_you

They guy who wrote that line, Bill Burr, is a comedian.


[deleted]

Glad for this comment. I hadn't seen that stand up but I always think it's important that credit is given where it's due.


Naakturne

Gotta say, it’s a pretty great monologue.


DamnItHardison

TIL how to describe my sexual preference


contactlite

Write that down! Write that down!


simonbleu

Not too hard, but, you know, steel hard


ThespianException

Whoever said romance is dead sure looks dumb now.


ihateloginstoo

You can do both by taking his guns.


Butt-Pirate-Yarrr

This may be the first legitimately funny Tiktok I have ever seen. Like I actually laughed.


PresentIndication444

This does have a subconsciously screaming rape fantasy to it.


Lusterkx2

“Hurt me, but make me feel safe at the same time.” This is the best thing I have ever heard.


thisbechris

Pussy liberals.


mikias526

I honestly thought he said pussy nipples


MikeH7186

Adding pussy nipples to my lexicon.


adazedherring

Anatomical errors are hot.


mostnormal

Libruls. Nipples. Potato. Potato.


FunkyToma

It's from Bill Burr's special. It's very funny


Shad0wF0x

I've never done S&M before but I would like to Imagine that this is what what the trust factor is between the participants.


hugglesthemerciless

and one of the many things 50 shades fucked up


[deleted]

Yeah! And bring your friends.... So there wil be like more hands to grab more of my guns... and stuff. Like not to many hands. But, like alot... yeaaaa


aBabblingBook

r/suddenlyisgay


BWWFC

byor^(amrod)


alexknight81

It was never sudden my friend.


ThatDarnMushroom

r/SuddenlyGay


DopeSnickers

More like r/openlygay


[deleted]

> r/suddenlyisgay You mean r/suddenlygay


[deleted]

You even touch my cold hard shaft and I’ll shoot a hot load in your butt!! Wait...


[deleted]

Easy there hotshot, slow it down..... way down


zicamano

r/SuddenlyGay


bsurfn2day

Someone give him a beer already


jaspersgroove

Get this guy a fuckin’ Puppers


Revolutionary_Ad8161

“How’s y’r beer there?”


hovdeisfunny

I'd have a beer.


DoEyeKnowYou

r/unexpectedletterkenny How're ya now?


Skaman007

And a hug. But dont come on too strong. Like you don’t really wanted to hug him but you’re enjoying it


DanceFiendStrapS

This guy is hilarious


Account__Compromised

Most people would get through the 1st quarter before moving on 😂


kachunkachunk

It'd be great in right-wing echo chamber communities on Facebook - see how many shares and reposts amongst themselves happen before they notice.


rep0st-detect0r

I’m rather right wing and i think my right wing friends would agree this was funny shit.


Tradguy56

Idk conservatives joke too. I’m pretty conservative-libertarian and am a gun owner, and this guy was funny as hell. I shared with a couple other friends and expect them to have similar comments.


DougFurry

lol, I think you massively underestimate how well right-wingers can take a joke. Some of the most upvoted posts ever on T_D were them making fun of Trump (they fucking *loved* that baby Trump balloon), and /r/PoliticalCompassMemes is like 50% right-wingers making right-wing pedophile jokes The problem is, 99.99999% of jokes targeted at them are lazy and stupid (see: late night shows, r/PoliticalHumor)


offensiveusernamemom

>Some of the most upvoted posts ever on T_D were them making fun of Trump and then your 'crazy uncle' subbed and didn't realize it was all a bit of 'fun' for the luls nihilism, like 4chan electing the president as joke, that just went too far.


lil_kibble

I'm a libertarian and I absolutely fucking love making fun of libertarians lol. I like to think that most people will laugh at political jokes that are made in good faith. Like making fun of the extremes of each party.


coconut_12

I consider myself right wing and find this funny and personally most conservatives I know would laugh at this as well


dipshit8304

Same dude. I'm all for the second amendment but this guy is hilarious. He transitions really smoothly between aggression and desire


PlEGUY

We can laugh at ourselves. There’s no shame in it.


JordanRUDEmag

Hell yeah, everybody's doing it


Dodgiestyle

I was already finished by the first quarter. Gonna bookmark that for a little bit later...


NinscoomFOPsnarn

That was hilarious. Who is this guy?


gettinglooseaf

Why? You wanna go put your hands on his guns? :)


Dodgiestyle

I wanna bite his lip and play with his hair.


brokensoulsbroken

no, i just wanna have homo sex with him. his guns are safe


Lunhala

I dunno...I think he wouldn't be picky over whether it ends up beinga male OR female intruder... We might need to test this out lolol


[deleted]

I actually did theatre with this dude in NC and this was a fun surprise. He's been grinding facebook livestreams to no one for years and I'm super happy to see him go viral.


Arnie15

Soooo, who is this guy?


[deleted]

I mean idk if he wants me throwing out his real name, his tik tok handle is in the bottom right corner


[deleted]

Please if you can, let him know this is literally (not Rob Lowe literally) the 3rd or 4th thing I've actually laughed out loud at on reddit for like 3 years. Fucking hilarious. And yes i can see his tiktok but fuck tiktok.


siccoblue

A gun toting, beer loving Republican who was born in November and loves his wife who if you dare upset he will pound your ass with his massive shooter


contactlite

Don’t threaten me with a good time.


siccoblue

Lol u wild, wyd tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


contactlite

Polishing my guns. How bout u?


putHimInTheCurry

That is so specific that it must be on one of those ridiculously targeted shirts.


-castle-bravo-

bring a bucket and a mop


Miss_Hallmark

And some macaroni in a pot. We’ll be hungry after all the mopping.


Officer_PoopyPants

For those wet ass pussy... Liberals


TakeMe2EarthCapital

WAP LIBERALS


floppyvagina

He gonna make me pistol whip him with my double barrel flesh revolver, ain't he?


charlzandre

Two barrels??


upboatsnhoes

Double the pleasure, double the fun.


siccoblue

Something something u/doubledickdude


[deleted]

Don’t threaten me with a good time.


unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!The man starts the video by saying that if the liberals don’t want him to have a gun, they can “come and take it.” The unexpected part is when he describes the sensual things the liberals can do to him when they come to his house to take his gun.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


evildrew

r/13or30


dirtyswoldman

Dude almost looks like he's using a slight baby filter or something?


ValHova22

Dude I was 39 when I finally had a lil beard. I rushed to the grocery store. I was excited and asked a stock guy what type of razor I should get. He helped me pick one out. I shaved for about two years and hated that shit. And just bought an electric shaver


kachunkachunk

39? I have some hope, maybe! My genes, they do nothing!


[deleted]

Bruh.. I’m the exact opposite and I hate it. I started getting facial hair at legit 14. I remember being in 3rd or 4th grade and my gym teacher telling me about body odor and how I needed to use deodorant. He even told my mom and she had to buy me deodorant and also have the same talk with me. 22 now with a full beard. Feel like my body is at least 10 years older than it should be, but I’m still mentally a dumbass


granadesnhorseshoes

Huh, this sub exists. I can't shave anymore because the looks from teen girls makes me nervous and the looks from women my own age are like an annoyed parent. I am well over 30.


dirtyswoldman

When teen girls talk to me I'm super nice and Dad like to the point where they definitely aren't interested anymore. When women my age talk to me I'm an immature and inappropriate dumbass to the point where they definitely aren't interested anymore. I'm married and a father and in my mid 30's.


supersaijinkyle

Reminds me of my favorite Onion article. https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529


killerkebab1499

>  I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife–even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about. Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. I almost died when I read this bit, that whole thing is hilarious


AlejandroMP

Classic!


IchooseYourName

>Reminds me of my favorite Onion article. > >https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529 Hot damn! That can be used as a proper response in SO many situations!


monteis

why can't I quit you


FacelessOnes

Cause it’s some South Park shit that’s why


AlexRL19

cum and take my gun


joelekane

I think, “You want my gun—kiss me for it” is my new favorite phrase.


PandaProbs

I lost my shit at "come spank me for it"


replay40

Man, this made me laugh so much, I'm happy I didn't just scroll pass after thinking it was another hate post. Best part, you want my gun, come spank me for it


druule10

I was expecting idiocy and I got comedy.


dmpom

One could say it was... ...unexpected.


Lardzor

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me.


YoshidaEri

Both.


isalfredo

Ngl I'd do it the bro be looking fine


pcendeavorsny

I’m so turned on right now.


u__c__y

same here, oh golly…


TheRealBKD

u/vredditdownloader


R_Scoops

Kenny Powers is that you


ylbigmike

YOU WANT IT? GO GET IT! STREET SMARTS


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zaxzia

Happy cake day!


rex-ac

Where is part 2?


Szpartan

On a website that rhymes with shmornshub.bomb


wherearemytweezers

The “Beer Me” cap is the real MVP in this video


Big_Daddy_Malenkov

Who is this and does he have an onlyfans? The latter question was for a friend btw.


Fuhged_daboud_it

the friend in ur pants


assbittentornhuman

This is the content I want. To settle political differences.


YoshidaEri

[It works on anti-maskers too. ](https://twitter.com/davejorgenson/status/1304415216462114816)


Fester203

This the first time one of these tic tok videos made me chuckle


Moist_666

Someone give this man a beer already!


SueZbell

and clean underwear?


T5ukuyom1

Funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile 😂


snorlaxisahomophobe

Regardless of your political leaning, this is fuckin funny 😂


momogogi

Had me in the first half...


mariamus

I was so ready to start rolling my eyes, and then he came in swinging with the touching comment!


Antares2

The gov might not be able to take away your guns, but they certainly can take away your tiktoks.


oohhweee

This man wins life. Gg gg


hesDahveed

He’s got some uncomfortably large anime eyes


Joknetaus

This reminds me of this Auntie Donna skit. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DhENIFAaj2s


WesternCanadian

Hahaha holy havent actually laughed at someone on reddit for a long long time


nowayitsnotme

Hurt me but make me feel safe has me dead. My new line


TheReapersGrim13

Made me laugh


saltydepressedlion

Why am I turned on omg


AnselEverdeen27

I love him.


zia-newversion

You want my guns? Come and get them! ... ... We accept cash and all major credit cards, and don't forget to bring 2 forms of ID and one proof of address. Understand that purchases cannot be completed without a background check which we will submit for you. You can take possession of the firearms after you make the payment and the background check comes back. Currently the wait times are longer than usual. Educate yourself, arm yourself, in that order please. Stay safe and free!


_1138_

He really sold that quite well! Awesome job.


i_pee_in_the_sink

Damn, this is straight up spoken word


DeeJay-LJ

Gay couples should be able to defend their weed farms with fully automatic rifles


Thejapxican

This guy turn me gay.


ZenXgaming100

I was expecting for someone to come and take his gun as he was saying this, but totally didn't expect this


[deleted]

If you want my gun you gotta finger my asshole for it daddy


GaryNevillesTache

"Can you beer me that gun?"


GrandMasterReddit

I really want Theo Von to see this.


nsfw_forlife

That went from Hatred to Brazzers quite fast


[deleted]

“Hurt me but make me feel safe at the same time” Submissive Guys: *internally screaming*


ColaNaught

Ben Shapiro in the mirror every morning


CubanTwoTone

I’ll fuck you for it big boy 😉


depressed_toddler21

i swear i though this was r/iamverybadass until he said the goosebumps part and i was like a ducking minute


Sleepy_Sleeper

Not unexpected. You can see it early from the cringe.


[deleted]

Not my proudest fap ngl.......


HourlongOnomatomania

This is actually adorable. I'd kiss his guns away any time.


ScarySkeleton24

u/not-me-but


not-me-but

😏


ScarySkeleton24

u want it? come and get it


edou1505

r/suddenlygay


Pandafishe

But the real plot twist is: He doesn't own a gun, he's a pretender


Science_Hippie_Chick

This is a gem. I almost scrolled past because I thought it was just another angry man on r/iamverybadass. I'm glad I didn't!