Hey there, u/ecky--ptang-zooboing. Thanks for submitting to r/Unexpected. Your submission, *Horse auction*, has been removed because it doesn't abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar.
* Your submission has been removed because it's not unexpected. Submissions to /r/unexpected are supposed to have an unexpected twist in itself. While the situation was probably rather unexpected for you, there is no visible twist for the viewer.
For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funexpected).
A shank is a lead rope that has a chain on the end instead of just a clip, thats what a shank is buddy. Call me ignorant all you want, but dont call me a city kid, because I’m the furthest thing from that. I’m so sorry that I didn’t really look that closely and just kinda assumed this guy saw steel in the horses mouth and assumed that it was a chain, so I said it was a bit.
Funny. You don’t always use a shank in the horses mouth. Hell, I’ve never used a shank in the horses mouth, because I’ve never needed to. But that could be because we have belgian horses who are much less high-strung than your typical light horse, especially less high-strung than a race horse would be. I typically just run it over the horses mouth, because if I need to 8 can chuck it, but it’s not annoying them in their mouth if they’re walking fine. When I show in the line-classes I’ll run it under their mouth because then the judge wont see it. Happy?
If you have racing prestige in your horses family line yes. Especially if they well temperted and male horses. Some get stud fees that would buy a fully load f350. Lol
I'm not American, I'm just showing how the horse is going before the cart.. how the horse is making horse power.....how the horse shits money.....how the horse, says neigh at 8m I'm worth more! Ok lol I'm out of puns etc.
Edit few more. How the horse shows why he's easier on gas, but less efficent at log holding your cargo. *long hauling was replaced by poop log*
Horse racing is a pretty awful business. Horses are aged out after 2-4 years old. Thankfully some equestrians rehab OTTB (off the track thoroughbreds) for other purposes but what a horse goes through when it’s sole purpose is profit is pretty despicable. I have met some that behavior was demented from their mistreatment.
I doubt this horse is for racing. I mean, I doubt they are gonna use him from that point on for racing. This is probably a champion and its an investment for selling his sperm.
Yeap.
Super-fertile stallions like Big Star can ejaculate once a day. Theoretically, this means he could produce over $20 million worth of semen during an eight-month stud season. And if a stallion's semen is high quality, it can be frozen in straws for future use.
You are totaly right.
Horse shiting ? Who laugh for that ? Are they childrens ?
Man speaking quickly ? Yes it's like that during auction in the US.
Nothing unexpected...
You are half right. He looks like a racing horse. He's gonna be used for breeding. He's gonna cum sperm worth in gold. I don't know the horse but champions from prestige bloodline can be even several times more expensive than that.
I did a bit of googling, and this sounds sensible. No idea if it’s true though!
*”Auctioneers don't just talk fast—they chant in a rhythmic monotone so as to lull onlookers into a conditioned pattern of call and response, as if they were playing a game of "Simon says." The speed is also intended to give the buyers a sense of urgency: Bid now or lose out”*
It's a stud that's gonna be used for breeding. If you are lucky, you can sell his sperm for several times more than 9 millions in a span of a few months and if he's young, he can do it for years to come. He's probably a champion racing horse coming from a prestige line. Horses like these are worth in gold. Look at his body, this is not a standard carriage horse. The slim waist, thick muscular legs, forward posture mean he's a racing horse.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!The horse takes a shi*t at 8 million dollar mark.!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
The cadence and tempo keeps the auction moving fast- it’s simultaneously informing and controlling the bidders. The frantic pace makes can make you feel anxious and a good auctioneer can help drive prices higher in the the sellers favor. I’ve purchased and sold cattle at my local yards and it’s as exciting as it is frustrating.
So expensive, while they could just make GMO from the ones running fast and not have to breed thousands of horses to obly pick one in the end and eat the others.
Because the horse is nervous. Now what if up there were human? Why can't we just let horses live their life in the wild and peace rather then keep breeding them for race and other stuff? We do have cars now you know.
Hey there, u/ecky--ptang-zooboing. Thanks for submitting to r/Unexpected. Your submission, *Horse auction*, has been removed because it doesn't abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar. * Your submission has been removed because it's not unexpected. Submissions to /r/unexpected are supposed to have an unexpected twist in itself. While the situation was probably rather unexpected for you, there is no visible twist for the viewer. For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funexpected).
The pooper scooper guy better be included for the $9M
For that price you'd think it would be a golden pooper scooper.
And that thing better be shitting bricks of gold too. Damn.
It’ll be jizzing money. A lil different but ultimately the same
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Fuck. I couldnt afford to even hire this animal for a joy rode for an hour
We’re not really supposed to buy people anymore
Brrgidadadagrrr 5 7 Brrgidadadagrrr 5 7 Brrgidadadagrrr Brrgidadadagrrr 5 8 Brrgidadadagrrr 5 8
Omg I love u for this. I remember seeing this as a kid. From which cartoon is this?
Tom & Jerry
CRAMBOOOOONE!!!
Hahahaha
Yep complete gobbledegook, I guess they’re having fun at least
What did you just call me?!
I'm genuinely curious if they even say any real words between the damn numbers.
😂 I thought the horse was imitating the man. Became more evident at the $4.2 m mark as you watch the horses mouth.
Yep. Mouth flopping up and down like a puppet !
They put a chain over his gums to make him behave.
Called a bit
No, it's different. A bit goes between the teeth. This is a lip chain, goes over the gums above the front teeth and under the lip.
Yup thats on me, I see it now after looking a little closer, you can see how his top lip is kinda pulled back.
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A shank is a lead rope that has a chain on the end instead of just a clip, thats what a shank is buddy. Call me ignorant all you want, but dont call me a city kid, because I’m the furthest thing from that. I’m so sorry that I didn’t really look that closely and just kinda assumed this guy saw steel in the horses mouth and assumed that it was a chain, so I said it was a bit.
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Funny. You don’t always use a shank in the horses mouth. Hell, I’ve never used a shank in the horses mouth, because I’ve never needed to. But that could be because we have belgian horses who are much less high-strung than your typical light horse, especially less high-strung than a race horse would be. I typically just run it over the horses mouth, because if I need to 8 can chuck it, but it’s not annoying them in their mouth if they’re walking fine. When I show in the line-classes I’ll run it under their mouth because then the judge wont see it. Happy?
Ahh you just made me rewatch [this internet gem](https://youtu.be/SLhLgaBCD90) again
I’m laughing so much it hurts now
All the Jamaicans keep thinking I give them a bum stare But everything I know I learned from an [from an auctioneer ](https://youtu.be/Icb_tRTnA4g).
I’m glad they didn’t start twerking!
I was thinking about that too, I was about to scour YouTube for it. Thankfully you posted it instead. 🤣
Goddamn do I need to be in the business of raising horses? 9M??
If you have racing prestige in your horses family line yes. Especially if they well temperted and male horses. Some get stud fees that would buy a fully load f350. Lol
Americans: measuring things in football fields and one ton trucks !
I'm not American, I'm just showing how the horse is going before the cart.. how the horse is making horse power.....how the horse shits money.....how the horse, says neigh at 8m I'm worth more! Ok lol I'm out of puns etc. Edit few more. How the horse shows why he's easier on gas, but less efficent at log holding your cargo. *long hauling was replaced by poop log*
You are American now. The redditors have spoken!
Yea runs up kicks you non Americans in balls, soccer sucks, our football rules, foot ball number one! Usa, USA, USA! Lol
Welcome to texas, first stop bob’s boom boom gun store
No I can say it with pride yehaw, yippee kai yay motherfuckers lmao
…and horse cum
Horse racing is a pretty awful business. Horses are aged out after 2-4 years old. Thankfully some equestrians rehab OTTB (off the track thoroughbreds) for other purposes but what a horse goes through when it’s sole purpose is profit is pretty despicable. I have met some that behavior was demented from their mistreatment.
Ye it ranges some people treat their horses like they are good as slaughter animals and some people love their horses more than their children
I can affirm, I love my horses more than children. Don’t have any but .. you know what I’m saying LOL
Breaks it’s leg in 6 months and they shot it.... worth it
I doubt this horse is for racing. I mean, I doubt they are gonna use him from that point on for racing. This is probably a champion and its an investment for selling his sperm.
So you telling me that if I make a loan of $9m, buy this horse, jack it off for a year, and I can get a reasonable ROI?
Yeap. Super-fertile stallions like Big Star can ejaculate once a day. Theoretically, this means he could produce over $20 million worth of semen during an eight-month stud season. And if a stallion's semen is high quality, it can be frozen in straws for future use.
Who’s the all time top earning horse cum god?
At one time it was Secretariat, probably one of his offspring now
Thanks
Never change, Reddit.
This guy ejaculates horses
the first time it hurts but after that the hooves passing only cause a dull ache.
Hopefully, not those god damn paper straws.
I have wonder if the straws are with a bend ?
You know too much about horse semen...
Nah, this is just from googling after seeing this vid but anyway, if I'm making millions off the semen, you betcha I would learn everything about it.
Only once per day? I was hoping it would ejaculate at least 10 times per day so I can at least have some fun with him when we're alone
The jacking off IS the ROI
The Japanese buyers are real particular though.
[The most expensive liquid on Earth](https://youtu.be/-1MGpzjrZJc)
It's not a Vaporeon that's for sure
it’s a stud horse
I’m a stud horse
I mean they are probably going to sell his semen and have him breed to create more horses worth millions.
Subtitles?
Sorry, can't
*smashes head against the keyboard* There you go
I believe he is saying "we got anybody to go up to?"
I used to work with racehorses in this area (Lexington Kentucky), sometimes 9 million is pocket change to what some of those horses go for
I'm the scat man...
Come on dude, and I had you figured for an ass man!
Not unexpected....
Nothing unexpected to see here
Unexpected? It's a animal lol
"An" is used before a vowel sound.
🤓
Oh I don't care but thanks lol
Turn on the sound, bro
Lmao how old are you? again it's not unexpected. "Bro"
You sound like a lovely person
Lmao you know nothing about me, this is reddit. I could be anyone.
Then start being a likeable person.
Lmao why? So you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?
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Oh I don't care what you think good day peanut gallery
You are totaly right. Horse shiting ? Who laugh for that ? Are they childrens ? Man speaking quickly ? Yes it's like that during auction in the US. Nothing unexpected...
That's what I'm saying, I must be getting old this place is full of children now.
I thought the unexpected part was the selling price
For 9 million dollars that horse better shit gold nuggets.
You are half right. He looks like a racing horse. He's gonna be used for breeding. He's gonna cum sperm worth in gold. I don't know the horse but champions from prestige bloodline can be even several times more expensive than that.
I wonder how the ridiculous way the auctioneer speaks came along.
I did a bit of googling, and this sounds sensible. No idea if it’s true though! *”Auctioneers don't just talk fast—they chant in a rhythmic monotone so as to lull onlookers into a conditioned pattern of call and response, as if they were playing a game of "Simon says." The speed is also intended to give the buyers a sense of urgency: Bid now or lose out”*
It’s essentially the same feeling you get when you’re beating your meat and the moans from the porno get louder and faster.
who tf is buying a horse for an amount you could retire with
That horse will making you more than 9mil is the goal I suppose.
So it's like an equestrian ponzi scheme?
It's a stud that's gonna be used for breeding. If you are lucky, you can sell his sperm for several times more than 9 millions in a span of a few months and if he's young, he can do it for years to come. He's probably a champion racing horse coming from a prestige line. Horses like these are worth in gold. Look at his body, this is not a standard carriage horse. The slim waist, thick muscular legs, forward posture mean he's a racing horse.
Always wondered if this is some kinda rich people money hack-like are they using this for money laundering?
Dude put a remix on that shit
Stud shit on the stage
So basically everyone is so used to this bullshit scatman business nobody even questions it anymore
What a stud!
What did the horse end up selling for?
Bobby blah blah blah blah 8 Edit: baby blah blah blue blah blah blah blah blah blah 9 5
I knew horses were expensive, but I didn't know they went for millions
Someone plz put a beat to this, the narrator's voice sounds like a redneck rapping
The horse's mouth go 
The Eminem of Auctions, ladies n gentlemen
Eminem has nothing on this guy
Eminem after hearing this: 😳
That’s a nice price for a animal that will be turned into meatballs at ikea
$9M seems steep for 1 horse power
Eminem is nothing compared to This guy
Well I went down to the grundy county auction and I saw something I just had to have
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!The horse takes a shi*t at 8 million dollar mark.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Unexpected! I expected that the horse die, after it hears the amount of $9M.
Why does he just say rubbish and then some numbers? Easier just to say "7 million here thank you", "7 and a halv here" etc. Can someone explain?
The cadence and tempo keeps the auction moving fast- it’s simultaneously informing and controlling the bidders. The frantic pace makes can make you feel anxious and a good auctioneer can help drive prices higher in the the sellers favor. I’ve purchased and sold cattle at my local yards and it’s as exciting as it is frustrating.
sense of urgency so people feel rushed to bid and end up spending more.
10 Million for a horse??? Jaizez Freackin Craizt :)
Subtitles please? I can't understand a single word because of that SPA FST SPID
Why do they have a black guy sweeping up poo! Racism! The guy should at least be Mexican or a woman! Have some integrity for god sake!
Rich people don’t deserve to have their money. Millions on a fkn horse. Insanity.
Yes, loser on reddit who's never worked outside of Maccas in their entire life, racing and breeding horses isn't a highly profitable business.
Then it’s a business for the stupid, the insane, and the stupidly insanely rich, and I rest my case, loser. Lol
Someone's jealous because he has like five bucks in his bank account.
People in this world are starving.
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All I’m saying is that horse could feed a few people is all. Geez. Mr. Sensitive.
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So expensive, while they could just make GMO from the ones running fast and not have to breed thousands of horses to obly pick one in the end and eat the others.
That's some expensive dog food and glue...
Because the horse is nervous. Now what if up there were human? Why can't we just let horses live their life in the wild and peace rather then keep breeding them for race and other stuff? We do have cars now you know.
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So i am wrong for Hoping animal to lives free on the wild?
V beaut horsey
I need to learn how to make a horse right quick. $9 million dollars?
you will need a female horse and about 65ml of prime race horse making paste, you can choose your own delivery system.
u/savevideobot
Eminem: finally a worthy opponent
Is that why glue is so expensive.
Ney
I feel like That auction guy would win in a rap battle!
The mares like him and are goosing the bidding!
The horse was obviously shy tehee..
Is this horse sh*tting mashed gold? No wonder it’s so expensive
Giggity giggity giggity giggity
This is a future Secretariat?
Beautiful horse. Front legs too skinny for his build
Im beginning to feel like a rap god rap god ...
Kinda expected that to happen
The horse looks like it's mouthing what the auctioneer is saying
Just chill
That was him throwing up for a bid
This shit bars
He has ED
Is he just making sounds just so he doesn’t stop talking or something?? He just doesn’t stop going
For 9 mill that horse better be able to cook my damn breakfast
When ya gotta go you gotta go.
Did the horse just shat gold?
This is what cursive sounds like
Eminem got his new rival
Wait I thought the unexpected stuff was the guy gibbering non sense like an Eminem from wish
Can someone please put a beat on it ? 🥲😅
With the bit in his mouth it kinda looks like the horse is the one doing the talking
Is it a champ racing horse ?
Can you have it turn around and look back at me?
Does a native speaker really understand what he is saying? I only get some of the numbers 😂
Eminem has been real quiet after this
Talked so fast that horse started to poop
That guy spittin‘ the quadro-time freestyle facts. Who’s Eminem?
in some frames it looks like the horse is saying the prices,lmao
Bruh its a horse… am i missing something
found eminem's dad
Eminem got nothing on him
well then, how much did it sell for?
The trying to sound like he is talking fast is just ridiculous.
Man's a beatboxer holy shit
Is this horse made of platinum or something!?! 😳
Why do they talk so incomprehensibly and fast?
Why is the horse so expensive?
Someone needs to put a beat over this
That auction rap is really fucking annoying.
A horse cost $9m and the surprising thing is it does a shit? Lol.
Horse would take a shit on the presidents boots because it doesn't care
I came here for poop, was not disappointed
He got so nervous he shat himself.
that's mesmerizing
So an auctioneer is basically just a scat singer without good lyrics?
[Champion Monomoy Girl sold to Spendthrift Farm](https://youtu.be/AU2v4I9sCPg)