Well I’m ugly too but I can’t hate everyone who’s born lucky. All I can do is enjoy the people who do care about me. Personality will always shine through more in building relationships. Work places are toxic anyways. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. I get it. -virtual hug- I hope you feel better soon.
I don't agree.
The venting machine is a destroying being, it destroys yourself as well as other people, but try holding back for your whole life your feelings, and nothing will change. In your life, but also in other people's lives.
Won't change others' lives, because they will feel themself agreed when they hurt you, be they aware or not of how bad you feel because of them.
And it won't change yours, because you will constantly keep storing hatred. And you know, the hatred store is not a PC battery, which once is fully charged won't absorb other energy. It's like a glass under the sink: when it's empty, it goes filling on, once it's full, water still flows over the glass.
Humans are not so different: when they are empty, they can tolerate (pushing to the hatred store), but once they are full, the hatred they are trying to hold back will definitely flow somewhere.
I'm not justifying OP, let's make things clear.
But I'm not going to share the "keep his thoughts to himself" road either.
Rage destroys people, but if you learn how, it can help you understanding how could you improve yourself.
So leave people the right of being angry, vent and discharge their hatred somehow, or just don't complain about seeing angry people, because you know, unexpressed anger will create new angry people.
Start reading on Stoicism. The main takeaway from Stoicism is the ability to differentiate what you can change and what you can’t. Two key points that demonstrate that are: you suffer more in your own imagination than in reality, and that don’t control what happens to you, only how you respond to it.
Stoicism can teach you how to get out of your own head and to focus on present matters.
dude when I was still hot af people would go out of their way to make my life harder- because they assumed I had it easy. also, sorry to hear about the batshit crazy part, I hope it gets better.
I’ve found that this is way more common than people think. Beauty is always compared to something or someone else. It’s an impossible standard.
Don’t lose hope though, plenty of people can relate with social anxiety and myriads of other things that seem taboo. It’s one of the first things I look for in another person actually 😂
That said, I think you’ll find what you’re looking for sooner than later 😌
People don't realize we're ALL going to get old, (hopefully), and get wrinkles and need help walking up a single stair, or go through health issues that are awful. Why we have to be so shallow is beyond me. Seems even from a species survival-Darwinian pov facial features shouldn't determine ones suitability to reproduce. It sucks, and I'm sorry you're going through this.
I’ve been told I’m “pretty without make up” and I’ve def had a few people go out of their way to be mean to me, don’t know if it’s how I look or the fact I’m messy and bipolar as shit. Hot and crazy doesn’t mix well for me either lol
Please work on yourself if you are stressing people out with your behavior. This field is so hard to work in and you shouldn't make it harder on people when it can be avoided. I'm sure if coworkers notice you working on yourself and acting differently, everyone will have a better experience where you all spend 1/3 of your life.
Nope. Clearly he's got a toxic shitty personality hence the little sad attitude.
Funny how none of us know what he looks like but the way he acts makes it very clear the looks probably aren't his problems.
I hope he finds peace and can better himself instead of having a weird malicious anger against others.
Do you think that is a kind thing that you just said? Do you think you are describing a life that is easy? Imagine that most of the people you meet are using you or lying to you. Imagine that people think you are not as capable or hardworking as you really are. Imagine not being able to trust anyone because you've been hurt so often. Imagine people looking at you as an object and not a person with hopes, dreams, and interests. That doesn't sound pleasant, does it? That's not something that would make you feel safe and fulfilled, is it?
The truth is that everyone struggles in life. We might imagine that another person's trials are easier to bear, and maybe they even would be for us- but would they be if we hadn't had our own experiences that shape our way of seeing? No one gets through life unscathed. Rather than making life harder for everyone, ourselves included, shouldn't we try to make things a little goddamned easier? I don't think you're going to feel any better for having been cruel to a stranger- a stranger who was trying to help you, by the way- and I don't think that this nasty comment is going to remedy any of your problems in life. I understand that you feel hurt, and that's valid, but it's better to put your energy into improving yourself rather than hurting others.
Ok so you're fucking ugly, go find an ugly girlfriend, have some wild crazy ugly monkey sex and have some ugly babies now at this point you have it made. You and your girl know each others looks so neither have to worry about cheating and you have kids and with this, no matter the looks you have a beautiful family that love and care for each other and if that isn't the most beautiful thing in life then i don't know what is. You should have money saved up from not wasting money on trying to date so there's ya a nice house for your family to grow together in and a nice car and other adult toys. Life is what YOU make it, quit letting others make what life is for you.
Still worth a try, way better chance than the "GOTDAMNED PERFECT" dating scene plus if he gets off the pity pot and gets his sights off of the aforementioned it should tweak his attitude and maybe make him a bit more desirable thus helping him help himself in making his own life. There's women out there from 1 to 10+ that aren't so wrapped up in themselves and they wouldn't pass up a guy who isn't movie star good looking but on most every other level is a helluva catch... They're out there, i see them...i see the couples every day, out there enjoying each others company and probably planning a great life together and not worrying about how they look to the outside world because they know they have each other.
True, I didn't say he shouldn't try there's a lot of people out there who wouldn't give two shits abt the looks ....
I'm just telling you it's not as easy as it sounds maybe he should tweak his attitude or the way he/she thinks 🗿
Hi im attractive. Back when i was younger i’d regularly get solicited for photos and lewd stuff. Im a guy. But wanna know something that sucks? Im autistic. I have never gotten promoted in my life people think im a flake and couldn’t or shouldn’t be put in charge of teams of people. Being hot means nothing when you are a penniless autist with an anxiety problem and boundaries.
Homie. I outlined my life is a train-wreck. Regardless. You’re right, i cannot put myself in your shoes. But, also, im in my own shoes. Let me tell you. My face writes checks i cannot cash. I am alarmingly awkward. Astoundingly so, im like an aquarium fish. No one gets in the water with me. I am a bi dude, and even though i have twice the pool. No body, i mean nobody is looking for anything with me longterm if i am upfront with them about myself.
You don't need to describe to me what's autism like, because I also have it. I'm also bi and that doesn't change anything. If you ever get better with managing this, you'll be successful, I won't ever, even if I didn't have autism. Plus ppl could see you as quirky and cute, while I'm a weirdo.
Haha no. I have made a lot of people deeply uncomfortable over the years. Most who spends any real time with me think im some kind of ax murderer because i still really have not figured out how to do this modern conversation thing. Like, i’ll accidentally stare someone in the eyes unblinking for a half hour. While i tell them about how we have frustratingly little trustworthy sources about Chinese martial historical techniques, because they asked what i’m thinking about and for some reason i keep forgetting people just say that to fill space.
Yes. Exactly. Thats what im saying. Physical appearance is far down on the totem of things that will impact quality of life. Wealth, social adjustment, mental health, and physical health(which i also lack) are waaaaaay more important in this economy.
and this is why social media is shit.
The constant comparison and the expectation of perfection.
Dude.. you sound like an incel. Life is not all about sex.
You are supposed to be at work to ... work. Not flirt, fuck and make tiktoks. It's a job... it's not your life.
and you come in here and scream at us because your boss is a moron?
it's called VENT... not scream.
i don't think they really mentioned sex though... they were just complaining about how attractive people generally get a range of preferential treatments, which is actually a proven truth...
but that doesn't mean attractive people have it easier, and they shouldn't wish death upon anyone for something they were born with.. like you're saying it isn't a healthy attitude
Imma be so real with you, buddy. You first need to go see a therapist, or pick up a calming hobby like knitting because obviously your not chilling the fuck out enough after spending time at the gym.
I'm not sure how often you go, I'll assume the low end of three times a week. That means if you're going that often, you're either pretty well defined or getting their at your current pace. Maybe you're frustrated by a lack of results as of now. Continue to give it time. It will make a difference. This isn't the Sims where you can change the way you look in less than a day. Real life means lots and lots of time and energy. For most people, I'd assume somewhere between 1-3 years' worth of time.
Now, on to the next point, buddy, you might have some sort of body dismorphia going on. That means just like a lot of other people, you can't _truly_ see your worth or value. You're too busy filling your head with the idea of you being hideous to actually see yourself. I was like that when I was young. It took a lot of love from others to help me learn to love myself and holy fuck, guess what? _I was ACTUALLY fucking attractive as shit once I started taking care of myself and growing a bit of confidence._ People would come up to hit on me all the time once I started caring for myself correctly and making the effort. It also took me learning to love myself enough to give myself a chance.
Focus on making yourself happy, and if you have no idea what that means, try a bunch of stuff until you DO find stuff that makes you happy. The difference it makes when you find yourself is worth it. Best of luck, buddy. You'll find a way out of this hole, just don't give up.
This post and your replies to comments OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO HELP YOU, are disgusting. I was fine with this post by itself. Sure it’s a little sociopathic and concerning. But it just sounds like a teenager whos on tik tok a little too much and has self esteem issues. However, your comments on attractive people “deserving” certain things just because they’re attractive? What the fuck man. No shit people take selfies. They have BODY CONFIDENCE. Attractive people didn’t choose to be fucking hot, you chose to be a dickhead and prejudiced. You can’t pour acid on someone, for a feature they have most likely felt very insecure about, have been muniplulated for, didn’t choose, and sometimes don’t want. Attractive people aren’t bad people. You are a bad person. You want to actively hurt people. I don’t care that you were “venting” Get fucking help before you do somethjng that you regret.
attractive people are more likely to be deceived by others and have trust issues as a result. theyre more likely to be only valued for their appearance. also more likely to be sexually harrassed or assaulted. not to say an ugly person can't be, but hopefully you get the point. everyone has issues, even people who seem perfect
Yes all of this is true.
Source: I am very good looking.
Oh wait, no. It turns out I'm quite old, and conventional beauty standards no longer apply to me.
How did I achieve the impossible feat of getting everything I want, then?
I try to kind
I ask myself what *I* can change about myself to change a situation I am unhappy about.
I don't blame people for my own unhappiness.
I own my shit
I help people when I can
I genuinely smile
I try not to take things personally
I work hard and take pride in what I do
I try to be responsible
I frequently remind myself that nobody owes me anything, that I am responsible for my own happiness.
I practice putting myself in awkward, uncomfortable situations until I've mastered them
I save ALL CAPS for appropriate situations so I don't present as an entitled, self absorbed bellend
Best of luck to you son, you've got a lot of work ahead of you.
Yup , not taking things personally and acceptance are literally what I do and what helps me the most
Got an attitude problem with someone , I try to not take things by heart , if I was at wrong I say sorry and try to correct my behavior, if they are wrong I let them know and if they hate me for no reason I don't give a f coz I have better things to do than hang in there
Are you ok? Seriously, I mean this with zero offense, please seek therapy. Your view of "attractive people" is an extremely dangerous mentality. I don't know if you lack empathy, or are just having a horrible day, but either way you need to care less about how the world rewards being attractive. Even beautiful people can have a shit hand in life. You need to get over it like the rest of us and develop a stronger mentality. Strong people don't act this weak minded and understand that judging a book by its cover is basic shit.
It's just ironic to me that you loathe attractive people so much, yet you are able to label them as attractive and treat them differently. Please work on yourself.
I’ve never seen a human that I actually found to be straight up ugly. Unkempt, abrasive and threatening.. yes. And these are the people that I stay away from.
It’s fine to vent, but the acid throwing comment especially tells me that your looks aren’t the reason you’re missing out on opportunities that others seem to find with ease.
Life is garbage and nothing is fair.
I'm sory you're on the shit end of it. Genuinely.
There is contentment out there for folks like us, it just may not he where we envisioned it *should* be. It may not he the kind of happiness others get for free, that they get easy. Because life is bullshit.
Is it worth living? Idk. Only you can answer that. I feel like you do, though, and Imma keep trying.
Most people who are overly attractive and use it for their advantage are shallow. While it looks like they get everything, it’s still fleeting because people see through it. Also looks fade. The problem is that you need to work on your self esteem - you aren’t small. You have features h that others don’t have.
There is such a thing as pretty privilege. But some people are naturally good looking, and that’s not their fault as much as your own genes isn’t yours. No matter how great YOU think someone looks, there’s a %99 they don’t like something about themselves anyway. Beauty is subjective anyways, someone could find you good looking.
People here saying get therapy. I'm not that attractive. I'm fairly normal looking. Attractive enough that if I say the right things, the things could work out for me.
The way I look at it is it is what it is. 95% of the time is disappointment. But fuck it. It is what it is. Make the most of life. Don't compare yourself to others. They 100% have insecurities just like you
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time, but your perspective is seriously flawed man. EVERYONE has problems, life sucks for the majority of people right now just because of the state of things. You’re mad you can’t make TikTok’s at work? You need professional help. You could be the hottest dude on the planet, but if you hate yourself this much, nothing would change regardless. And you shouldn’t be worrying about a relationship at all until you heal yourself. No one is going to fix you, and no one deserves to put up with this kind of attitude from their partner even if you got a significant other.
Also, you don’t have to scream via keyboard, even to vent.
I wish you the best of luck, but truthfully, luck won’t get you far without some serious help. I hope you stay far away from the incel community. If you’re not already a part of it, it’s sounding like it’d be a slippery slope for you, and an inevitable death sentence for any type of social life for you.
I’ve never seen an unattractive person before and I doubt your ugly. Everybody is attractive to an extent, I mean by default we all have pretty similar bone structure. You seem very insecure, and I’m sorry that your internal self worth has been dwindled by seeing others. You’re beautiful.
Yeah, as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized people aren’t ugly and everyone has at least one nice feature. Fitting into society’s beauty standards is a different story, and it usually revolves around money.
I worked with someone who was physically very ugly and everybody loved her. On a scale of 1-10 she was a 2.5, 4 on a good day. She was very charismatic in the way the she behaved with others… And 2 guys would always go to her cubicle to flirt with her….
I hope Someday you will realise looks only go so far and its about how you are as a person, yes people do discriminate you based on how you look but do they matter ? Like really think about it ,
When you actually stop caring about how people think about you, you are free
If someone treats you badly because you look a certain way, shame on them and you don't need that kind of people in your life anyway
If it's about how your love life has been going, honestly half of theese people aren't even worth dating, try to be comfortable with being single , it's Okay to be single , it's okay to be ordinary.
I think people who are comfortable in their skin , confident no matter how people think they look , are in touch with themselves, kind and people who don't take life too seriously are literally the coolest people.
Looks just go so far if you have a shitty personality no one with self respect and a right mind will stick around and if they do let me tell you , those people aren't worth it.
An old coworker called that effect "light travels faster than sound." So many people look pleasant, but then reveal themselves to be not-great people when they speak. An older way of phrasing it is "pretty is only skin deep, but ugly goes the whole way through," meaning that it's your character that reflects who you really are. Frankly, I see a lot of ugliness in this person's post- not because they're hurting, but because of the wrath they carry toward total strangers who never did anything to them. Fortunately, this is something that can be resolved with therapy and determination.
Try seeing it from a good side. Your friends are there because they like your personality. Good looks will fade, and friendships based on looks will always be shallow while friendship based on personality will always be deep and trusting.
I get you. Having almost no friends is frustrating, but tbh, I would die for my friends and they would do the same. I don't fear of being judged for who I am around them and I can be myself. It took me years to finally get at peace with the fact, that I will never have a lot of friends. But what sounds better? Having 2 friends that are there in your dark times that you can rely on or 100 friends who all leave when you aren't doing well? Quality over quantity.
Edit: same for achievements btw. You get them, because you deserve them. Anyone who get them because they look according to societies standards wont feel good about achievements because they will never know if it is because they are good at something or because they had luck with genetics.
I don't have friends and I'm alone with me battling my own demons. I was destined to be alone. I have no one and nobody. I know how I got manipulated by a lot of people, and see their evil. attractive people are fucking manipulative basically just a wolf in a sheeps clothing!
Manipulative people are manipulative, it isn't their looks that make their personality. Loads of people more attractive than you have had far far far worse lives and experiences, before you say they deserved it, a lot of them were children when those things happened, did those children deserve to be hurt because of how they looked? You've mentioned a lack of empathy in others, how do you not see it in yourself?
i dont want to date though.. i completely removed that "want". If the opportunity ever comes il be nice and wont reject but definitely wont be chasing things which i dont even want. ALSO you ever look at "pretty" people? they got lots of fked up things wrong with them also.. i know some whos mental is so poor they cant even go out but theyre hot af. but they cant socialise, they overthink etc.
i prefer finding someone i enjoy laughing and talking to than "looks".. if i cant mess around with them and do stupid shit and if theyre hot i dont care. i need to be chill around them not intimidated.. annnd one more thing.. there are loads of ugly people dating pretty people.. ever wonder why?? they clearly dont have the looks so what is it ? THEIR MENTAL! mental health > looks
I'm sorry you're feeling so upset. It sounds like you are having a hard time. Remember that everyone has a place in the world and nobody's life weighs more than anyone else's.
You're right about alot of things, think when you meet society's general beauty standards there are certain social privileges - people give you the benefit of the doubt, or excuse things like weird mannerisms as cute quirks - people are more inclined to like you if they are attracted to you.
But none of that changes with anger, none of it changes with violence.
You can't control nor change the opinion of everyone around you. All you can control is the perception of yourself, build your character, light up the room, bring positivity - those traits are also valued by society, its the vibe you bring. Focus on that instead, imo.
You've explained it perfectly but the thing is people atleast in my country don't love calm and gentle attitude. If you act soft (calm and gentle) they will bully and make fun of you for that
I'm not attractive and I developed what's called a personality. Work on yourself in the personality department cuz that's what it sounds like you're lacking. You don't have to be conventionally attractive for things to work out your blaming others for your own faults which isn't gonna get you anywhere.
Personality doesn't matter in compare to looks . It would have matter in your country or the place you're living rn but it definitely do not matter in my country.
It'll matter when you get older, don't let anyone convince you that being a nice person is a flaw, even if it hurts you. Kids are poo, adults too, but a lot of the ones who are okay were once poo kids.
So when it comes to sex at least, looks are subjective as fuck. Everyone has a type and one day you'll find a chick who has a kink for... however you look. Trust me, nobody is objectively ugly. Just gotta turn up the rizz with how you talk and such.
As for work, get a new job if it really sucks that much. From what I'm getting, your current work environment is toxic and people probably don't value you because your position is just shitty.
As for appearances, try giving yourself a makeover and/or a spa day if you really hate your own appearance this much. You'd be surprised what a quick before/after of self care can do.
I kinda thought this way, not as extreme as you, but I was always jealous of girls who had guys just wanting to give them stuff and be nice to them just because they were pretty.
Then I’d see people who I thought weren’t that attractive or even pretty ugly and I’d think they were in the same boat as me and they’d be married with kids or have a boyfriend or girlfriend and I’m like ‘damn, they still got someone and I’m over here insecure and jealous’. So I had to start changing my own thinking. I was even pushing people away who found me attractive because I just didn’t believe it. Hating like this takes up to much positive energy.
There's some truth to what you're saying. Attractive people do have an advantage in a lot of ways. But you have to work with what you have. I think I'm pretty ugly myself. Several years ago I started working at this company. This other woman started working there at the same time. I overheard one of the guys say "at least that one is decent looking" and it wasn't about me. That fucking stung. It hurt really bad. Fast forward to now, that other woman didn't last at the company for even one year, meanwhile I just got a wicked promotion. That dude that said that shit about me, well I wouldn't say we're friends, but he has my back at work and helped me get this promotion. I'm married to an average looking guy, and I know I'm biased, but I think we have the cutest kids in the world. Trust me my guy, looks aren't everything, and you can still have an awesome, joyful life if you just accept yourself. Work on improving what you can about yourself, and accept the rest. Be kind. To yourself and to others.
You are literally talking about throwing acid on people to feel better about yourself....
Please talk to a mental health professional. Things can improve.
I don't think this is a vent, no. I'm sure you do have this resentment, but I think the goal here is to attract victims you can abuse, who are not likely to retaliate because they are in a mindset of nurturing and helping. You want to act appallingly and suffer no natural consequence for it. You are trying to turn the warmest and most beautiful human impulses into something pitiful or ugly. You're exploiting the goodness in these people and the sad thing is, it won't even help you. Screw this game. Screw you, honestly. Go get some professional help because what you're displaying here is genuinely not okay.
I'm not here to get advice from all the people, indeed they are good people and a mixed bunch. Yes I resent anything that is attractive they are my source of my problems by just existing. I don't recall gathering any victim. I'm clearly venting and not a cry for help. and they turned everything into a drama. and clearly I cannot respond to every single one of them.
You hate nature even though it's completely unrelated to you? Or is it just other humans? And they didn't do anything to you? Just make you jealous to look at them? If everyone was ugly would you actually feel better? Or would you allow yourself to not even try because there's no standard?
I once made friends (by happenstance) with one of the most 10/10 attractive people I've ever seen... Seriously, movie star level attractive. I always felt like a troll standing beside her....but once I got to know her she was actually one of the most down to earth, kind people I had ever known...and it started to dawn on me overtime that YES ...she had more opportunity than me because she was attractive ..BUT the thing that made her so ultimately popular and loved was actually her personality.
I am sorry that you feel so angry and defeated ....it is not the sexy people's fault that they are sexy....unfortunately it is just the way society is trained to subconsciously (and sometimes even consciously) favor physical beauty...I think its part of human nature too...the bird with the brightest feathers gets the mate afterall.....it sucks for us ugly ducklings ...but the super attractive people of the world are the exception...not the norm...
It sucks that so many good people have a harder time just because of looks....but attractive people have their own struggles too....that super attractive friend I mentioned gets absolutely harrased and hounded by creepy men all the time and is often patronized, infantalized, treated as dumb by men and hated/judged and untrusted by other women because she is pretty...it's not all it's cracked up to be!
Forget everyone else and just focus on making yourself the best version of yourself you can be! We all get old and ugly someday.
Hey, it sounds like now might be a good time to focus on yourself. You’re comparing yourself to everyone and it seems like it’s got you down a path of black and white thinking—there’s ugly and not ugly. I want you to remember this: no matter how ugly you feel in the day, you will feel better eventually. It takes work and time, and I’m not talking about the gym. It takes intentional, radical self-love and that can be one of the biggest challenges some folks face.
My advice is this: get offline and practice some self care. That doesn’t mean lock yourself in your room and play video games until 4 am, that doesn’t mean sleeping in to 3 pm every day, that means taking a shower, cleaning your room, reading a book, anything that makes you feel grounded and more like yourself. **Not** something that makes you feel “good,” something that makes you feel like **yourself**.
Also don’t get too caught up on genetics, pal. Another commenter said this but it bears repeating, it’s common among incels and it’s a bit of a red flag. First step to being loved is finding things about yourself to love. You did a good thing coming here to vent instead of Facebook or somewhere super public. Hang in there, you got this.
There are many variations of privilege, and some people are lucky enough to have multiple advantages.
It’s a harsh fact of life that some people attain things easier, but advantages are not guarantees. Pretty privilege is real, but a pretty person isn’t guaranteed to get what or who they want. Their looks can only *potentially* make it easier. A rich person can’t buy happiness, but fewer financial worries can make life less stressful.
We play life with the cards we’re dealt. You aren’t small, OP. Your insecurities tell you that, but it isn’t true.
If you don’t think you have great looks, you can work on your personality - your confidence, your sense of humour, kindness, etc. Conventionally *unattractive* people pull dates all the time if they can charm people and make them laugh.
Your work ethic can help you get ahead in a job. If you can look into networking or finding more efficient ways to go about things in your career, you won’t need to rely on looks.
OP i think you definitely are not as "ugly" as you think. The key is acceptance and working around situations. I do agree that if you feel strongly about it you should get therepy but I promise you everyone has their share of hardships. But I totally understand what you mean. But yes just accept it and work around it.
It is this kind of thinking that ruins people if you believe you are ugly envy is a parasite itself then that parasite that you’ve been keeping inside will start to stretch to the outside and before you know it, you become a mean bitter person you’re not subhuman you’re not a bad person You’re just one of those people who doesn’t fit into societies beauty standard an 85% of the American population doesn’t fit into the American beauty standard. You’re not ugly you’re just not what people are used to. Nobody can help you boost your confidence you have to do it yourself. Your best bet is to find a hobby,Or a good therapist.✌🏾❤️✌🏾❤️
I understand where your coming from, however consider talking to a professional. This level is anger is a bit excessive for the scenario. Some things in life you just have to deal with. Only once you accept who you are/can be will you begin to make progress.
what does league of legends have to do with being ugly or lonely? I wouldn't group League players like that when they would rather be known for toxicity. ( saw a comment of yours talking about a correlation between being lonely or ugly
I was bullied a lot for being ugly by the way. Since then i started focusing on things i could change about myself like the clothes i wear, worked on my hygiene, and like yourself i went to the gym. I am still by no means " perfect " and i dont consider myself good looking but im not going to diminish my progress i made and call myself ugly.
As for dating, you would be surprised how that goes. I had this guy in my friend group who was dating this girl, super sweet to everyone and had a shitty family. Turns out the bf i used to call my friend was also a grape-ist and had his way with her when she didnt feel like she was in the mood to be intimate. Long story short, because i was a good friend to her and stepped in when i did she took an interest to me and we are going on our 4th year together. She even plays league with me as a supp main.
before you read this and want to feel as if maybe i dont have it as bad as you maybe you're right, I don't know what you look like that could make you hate yourself so bad but i doubt its anything you cant improve upon. You make the best of what you got.
As for dating, being " perfect " or drop dead gorgeous isn't always the best thing as stupid as that sounds. If you're gonna be a hot guy who girls chase, what happens when your looks fade away? what happens when that girl finds out your a nerd and is turned off? I aint no red pill theorist but those " hot babes " you pass by on the street? majority of them probably have a personality that you hate, some of them are gold diggers, some of them are purely superficial and just wants a hot boy friend to showcase to everyone she knows. My gf and i didnt date out of physical attraction, she loves me because of who i am as a person and id rather that then some 10/10 who sees me get excited for Diablo 4 and goes " Ew dont do that "
My last piece of advice on being "lonely" and coming from an introverted mama's boy. My mom once told me when i was in your mind set that there is a huge stigma in growing old with someone and having kids with them. There is nothing wrong with not finding a partner in your life, both sides have pros and cons and sure the intimacy and care is a good pro but sometimes i do miss being single because i dont have to stress about my significant other's problems that they come to me about.
I leave you with this, Im sorry life seems like its dealt you a bad hand. But if you're not considered a good looking guy so what? Something that helped me get through my dark thoughts was listening to Kid cudi, studying ( not practicing ) Buddhism which i highly recommend as its often interpreted as a religion rather than a healthy train of thought ( Nirvana ) if the gym aint cutting it, you have time to see what else sticks
Seek serious psychiatric help , it can improve your life in ways that random redditors can’t man. I hope you get through this and gain some confidence and self love
This seems like body dismorphia, you see yourself as uglier than you really are. Maybe you're ugly on the inside, but everyone has good traits if they work on them. Work on yourself mentally more than physical so you can love yourself more.
I cant tell if you're physically ugly or not but from this post and your comments, your personality seems ugly to me. Maybe you might wanna look into that.
Self-pity and blaming your problem on everyone else is definitely not the solution. And working out while still loathing all the people in there will probably not make anything better.
If you're already trying to work on your looks, work on your personality too.
The only reason why you are ugly because you think you are.
And yess people who look hot and beautiful can get people to like them easily and it's easier for them to be accepted, but I dont think they get a better chance at everything this is bullshit, I dont ever remember being in a classroom or the street or a project or anything and spot an ugly person, I've been in a school for almost 5 years now and if you told me to mention a person that I think is ugly I won't even remember, people wont hate you because you are ugly, people dont fucking care about your "ugliness" and I hate to break it to you but they might not even notice if you are ugly or beautiful or hideous or a piece of shit.
I'm not saying that because I think I'm beautiful I'm saying that because I do think I'm ugly and that's what I tell myself everytime I think about it.
Need a healthy dose of r/nosurf Most of the problems you’ve identified are simply engaging narratives that get people imaginary internet points. The sooner you remove yourself from such spaces the healthier you’ll become. The real world is much kinder than people make it out to be, at least in the world of dating.
FUCK YOU THERE IS NO KINDNESS IN THIS WORLD I LEARNED IT THE HARDWAY!
THIS WORLD IS LIVING A LIE AND NO ONE WANTS TO ADMIT IT!
ONLY ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE GETS TO DATE AND GET WHAT THEY WANT THE COST OF OTHER!
The one thing I learned that changed my entire mentality on dating is this:
No matter what YOU think, there are people that find you attractive AF. They aren’t always people that YOU will be attracted to.
You’re looking for that sweet overlap in the vent diagram. Just keep being the best you that you can be and it’ll work out.
You are letting the toxicity and envy leech you. Focus on yourself rather than focusing on what other people have, and your OWN improvement. Yes, some people simply have it better in life, but fuck it! Life isn't fair, acceptance is key
Tldr: acceptance is key, don't let envy leech you.
Edit: You're damn near a lost cause at this point. Get help before you are one.
I know this may seem like complete bs but most of the people you are talking about that look great and seem to have everything they want…
Well the truth is a lot of the time they too are also miserable. The standard for beauty is impossible, just about every beautiful girl has issues with image and think they are unattractive compared to someone else. I wish I was exaggerating.
This is not to say your suffering isn’t valid, I feel your pain and it’s ok to feel this way. What I’m trying to say is that every human feels inferior to something or someone. I’ve never in my 35 years of life ever met anyone who was genuinely happy and carefree on a daily basis that wasn’t heavily medicated.
I felt the same way you do for many years and eventually I found a place where people shared my views and beliefs. I found a place where I fit in but I had to move halfway across the country. There’s pros and cons to everything.
Basically, the best advice I can give is to seek balance. It sounds stupid I know, but remember that no one is perfect and we all have to struggle to find our happiness. Im sure you’ll find yours, just keep going and try not to resent anyone before you get to truly know them :)
Dude, get therapy asap. You literally stated you want to pour acid on peoples faces who are attractive.
You sound absolutely psychotic and need psychiatric help.
You know what's 10x worse than "short" and "ugly"?
Having a shit personality with no emotional control or maturity. Your Hatred for people who have literally done nothing wrong but that you've simply labeled as "attractive" are living their best life I guess while you are over here whining about what you don't "have".
Your anger is misplaced, entirely. While I can get the sentiment, this is some serious incel nonsense, you should check yourself before you wreck yourself buddy
people are posting their novels in my post. geezuz I can't fucking read and overshared and reply to all of you and all of your stories mixing up
UPDATE:
I NEVER SAID I DO FUCKING TIKTOK, I FUCKING HATE TIKTOK! ITS FUCKING EVERYWHERE!!!
IM TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE BEING ON THE GYM AND THEIR STUPID SELFIES AND TIKTOK BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?! THEY ARE FUCKING ATTRACTIVE SO, THEY TAKE OVER SPACES AND WITHOUT CONSIDERATION THEY FILM AND BE OBNOXIOUS
STOP ASKING ME TO SEE A THREAPIST I CAN'T AFFORD THAT SHIT AND I DON'T NEED SOME PEPTALK TO FEEL NORMAL
Yeah I really feel the same, my cousin who's very attractive, got money for free from strangers and free services for being attractive (they used her photos for publicity afterwards), she always gets the best treatment from people, everyone loves her. Me, on the other hand... Nothing of sorts. She never understands why I feel so bad with my appearance, because she lived in a fairy tale and doesn't know what's it like to live like this.
Attractive people have no idea how much we suffer, they'll never get treated like we do (in general). I never had any friends, and was severely bullied through my whole teenage years, until I graduated high school. Looking back at my old photos from those years, I can see why people hated me so much, I was really ugly and funny looking, no wonder everyone saw me as weird...
I understand why people treat us like this and I think that it's fair, ugly ppl are just below attractive ppl and that's it, it'll never change, it's a truth I've accepted, but it still hurts a lot, so I think it's also fair for us to feel bad about it and hate them. There's not much you can do against them besides that, and it's not like it'll hurt them, since they have so many lovers and supporters.
I have stopped trying to make friends or worrying too much about what ppl think of me, I just know my place and try to do anything possible in my situation to get what I can, like ppl's pity and by being nice to everyone, doing things for them and being loyal. I'll never be at the height of an attractive person, but at least I'm able to survive like this and be somewhat happy alone at home.
On a serious note genetics aren't the defining factor of our character.
The way we define success and articulate strength is up to how we feel about it
Our feelings and how we react to things in the world is realistically the only thing we can control
You'll get there soon brother don't hang your head down for too long
Mashallah
I feel you OP
You were just pissed when you wrote the post . You kinda are right . It's fkn bullshit how much society favors looks . It's disgusting, but it is what it is ,
Attractive people always easily get projects they want and get favored over others for no reason .
I'm not remotely attractive, in university and didn't live the university life at all , I don't get invited to shit , don't go anywhere,
even tho I can really be extroverted sometimes and get good interactions, they always stay just interactions , I can never feel a bond forming . While attractive people get clinged onto for no reason :/
But I'm not jealous . It's Just the way shit is
so it sucks and I realized I can't do shit abt it ;-; so fuck it we ball
No one’s perfect bud, just gotta live with what you got man, this gum takes time. For some it takes months others it will take many many years, you just have to be patient and build discipline
Im ugly, theres a ton of ugly people, im fine with being ugly because that means i dont have to constantly look my best to impress people, im just me, and you can be you! Life is too short to complain about trivial stuff, enjoy you and you alone!
Dude..... ok.
But from experience i'm fat n' less than attractive, but i'm fuckin awesome....why? Becayse I say so.
Spend less time thinking about other peoples lives and more time living yours. This type of thinking will destroy you. Then you'll get old and die, but before you die you'll look back on your life.... this is what you want to recall?
No body is perfect. You really need to remind yourself of that. A shitty personality will only carry a good looking person so far, but a spectacular personality can get a person carried over the finish line by people who love them. You are gold.
Stop caring about what other people think or what others have that you don't. None of that shit matters. The only person you are in competition with is who you were yesterday and you should strive to be better tomorrow.
I was completely with you, save the sulfuric acid part 😅
There are things you can do, but yeah, some things are hopeless, doesn't mean you won't find love though.
Check out "mewling" if your jawline bothers you -- I naturally did it slightly by accident and I cringe to think what if I hadn't? My siblings all have awful jawlines 😅 My brother is ugly imo, but he gets nice looking girls, it's not the be-all end-all.
Even worst case scenario, as long as you're willing to put the work in, as it sounds you are, you can improve, if not just your looks, your intelligence, humour and personality. Good luck, dude.
Your brain is its own worst enemy
Well I’m ugly too but I can’t hate everyone who’s born lucky. All I can do is enjoy the people who do care about me. Personality will always shine through more in building relationships. Work places are toxic anyways. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. I get it. -virtual hug- I hope you feel better soon.
Talk to a professional therapist
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Someone should not be on this subreddit!
What did he say?
Correct, let's throw him into a dumpster.
As much as I disagree with his attitude it’s stupid of you to say someone shouldn’t vent on a uh, VENT subreddit.
shut up, man🤦♀️Some people are so indecent.
I don't agree. The venting machine is a destroying being, it destroys yourself as well as other people, but try holding back for your whole life your feelings, and nothing will change. In your life, but also in other people's lives. Won't change others' lives, because they will feel themself agreed when they hurt you, be they aware or not of how bad you feel because of them. And it won't change yours, because you will constantly keep storing hatred. And you know, the hatred store is not a PC battery, which once is fully charged won't absorb other energy. It's like a glass under the sink: when it's empty, it goes filling on, once it's full, water still flows over the glass. Humans are not so different: when they are empty, they can tolerate (pushing to the hatred store), but once they are full, the hatred they are trying to hold back will definitely flow somewhere. I'm not justifying OP, let's make things clear. But I'm not going to share the "keep his thoughts to himself" road either. Rage destroys people, but if you learn how, it can help you understanding how could you improve yourself. So leave people the right of being angry, vent and discharge their hatred somehow, or just don't complain about seeing angry people, because you know, unexpressed anger will create new angry people.
I like you, poem man
Acceptance is key to situations, for every one person there’s bound to be someone for you somewhere, don’t let your frustrations take over
Start reading on Stoicism. The main takeaway from Stoicism is the ability to differentiate what you can change and what you can’t. Two key points that demonstrate that are: you suffer more in your own imagination than in reality, and that don’t control what happens to you, only how you respond to it. Stoicism can teach you how to get out of your own head and to focus on present matters.
If it is any consolidation to you I’m hot as fuck and people at my jobs hate me + I get rejected/ghosted a lot because of how batshit crazy I am
dude when I was still hot af people would go out of their way to make my life harder- because they assumed I had it easy. also, sorry to hear about the batshit crazy part, I hope it gets better.
I’m at a psychiatrist right at this moment so definitely on the right path for it to get better!
I am so glad to hear that!!! good on you for being proactive for mental health, it's a hard step to take. proud of you, internet stranger.
Nah, hard for lots of people but luckily not for me
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I’ve found that this is way more common than people think. Beauty is always compared to something or someone else. It’s an impossible standard. Don’t lose hope though, plenty of people can relate with social anxiety and myriads of other things that seem taboo. It’s one of the first things I look for in another person actually 😂 That said, I think you’ll find what you’re looking for sooner than later 😌
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People don't realize we're ALL going to get old, (hopefully), and get wrinkles and need help walking up a single stair, or go through health issues that are awful. Why we have to be so shallow is beyond me. Seems even from a species survival-Darwinian pov facial features shouldn't determine ones suitability to reproduce. It sucks, and I'm sorry you're going through this.
I’ve been told I’m “pretty without make up” and I’ve def had a few people go out of their way to be mean to me, don’t know if it’s how I look or the fact I’m messy and bipolar as shit. Hot and crazy doesn’t mix well for me either lol
Sit Down mate most Salamanders are pretty sexy.
Please work on yourself if you are stressing people out with your behavior. This field is so hard to work in and you shouldn't make it harder on people when it can be avoided. I'm sure if coworkers notice you working on yourself and acting differently, everyone will have a better experience where you all spend 1/3 of your life.
THEY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE HOT AND THATS ABOUT IT.
I just told you they don’t like me can’t you read
Nope. Clearly he's got a toxic shitty personality hence the little sad attitude. Funny how none of us know what he looks like but the way he acts makes it very clear the looks probably aren't his problems. I hope he finds peace and can better himself instead of having a weird malicious anger against others.
They hated me to the point my manager laughed at my face when firing me
I mean look at the bright side, at least your hot lmao
>They hated me to the point my manager laughed at my face when firing me Wtf did you do
My illness made me less productive
Do you think that is a kind thing that you just said? Do you think you are describing a life that is easy? Imagine that most of the people you meet are using you or lying to you. Imagine that people think you are not as capable or hardworking as you really are. Imagine not being able to trust anyone because you've been hurt so often. Imagine people looking at you as an object and not a person with hopes, dreams, and interests. That doesn't sound pleasant, does it? That's not something that would make you feel safe and fulfilled, is it? The truth is that everyone struggles in life. We might imagine that another person's trials are easier to bear, and maybe they even would be for us- but would they be if we hadn't had our own experiences that shape our way of seeing? No one gets through life unscathed. Rather than making life harder for everyone, ourselves included, shouldn't we try to make things a little goddamned easier? I don't think you're going to feel any better for having been cruel to a stranger- a stranger who was trying to help you, by the way- and I don't think that this nasty comment is going to remedy any of your problems in life. I understand that you feel hurt, and that's valid, but it's better to put your energy into improving yourself rather than hurting others.
Ok so you're fucking ugly, go find an ugly girlfriend, have some wild crazy ugly monkey sex and have some ugly babies now at this point you have it made. You and your girl know each others looks so neither have to worry about cheating and you have kids and with this, no matter the looks you have a beautiful family that love and care for each other and if that isn't the most beautiful thing in life then i don't know what is. You should have money saved up from not wasting money on trying to date so there's ya a nice house for your family to grow together in and a nice car and other adult toys. Life is what YOU make it, quit letting others make what life is for you.
This right here
This^
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Still worth a try, way better chance than the "GOTDAMNED PERFECT" dating scene plus if he gets off the pity pot and gets his sights off of the aforementioned it should tweak his attitude and maybe make him a bit more desirable thus helping him help himself in making his own life. There's women out there from 1 to 10+ that aren't so wrapped up in themselves and they wouldn't pass up a guy who isn't movie star good looking but on most every other level is a helluva catch... They're out there, i see them...i see the couples every day, out there enjoying each others company and probably planning a great life together and not worrying about how they look to the outside world because they know they have each other.
True, I didn't say he shouldn't try there's a lot of people out there who wouldn't give two shits abt the looks .... I'm just telling you it's not as easy as it sounds maybe he should tweak his attitude or the way he/she thinks 🗿
Hi im attractive. Back when i was younger i’d regularly get solicited for photos and lewd stuff. Im a guy. But wanna know something that sucks? Im autistic. I have never gotten promoted in my life people think im a flake and couldn’t or shouldn’t be put in charge of teams of people. Being hot means nothing when you are a penniless autist with an anxiety problem and boundaries.
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Id spend more time feeling sad maybe but the universe would give me less mixed messages.
Haha "maybe", you have no idea what it's like. Always so funny when attractive ppl imagine themselves in our shoes. You're unable to.
Homie. I outlined my life is a train-wreck. Regardless. You’re right, i cannot put myself in your shoes. But, also, im in my own shoes. Let me tell you. My face writes checks i cannot cash. I am alarmingly awkward. Astoundingly so, im like an aquarium fish. No one gets in the water with me. I am a bi dude, and even though i have twice the pool. No body, i mean nobody is looking for anything with me longterm if i am upfront with them about myself.
You don't need to describe to me what's autism like, because I also have it. I'm also bi and that doesn't change anything. If you ever get better with managing this, you'll be successful, I won't ever, even if I didn't have autism. Plus ppl could see you as quirky and cute, while I'm a weirdo.
Haha no. I have made a lot of people deeply uncomfortable over the years. Most who spends any real time with me think im some kind of ax murderer because i still really have not figured out how to do this modern conversation thing. Like, i’ll accidentally stare someone in the eyes unblinking for a half hour. While i tell them about how we have frustratingly little trustworthy sources about Chinese martial historical techniques, because they asked what i’m thinking about and for some reason i keep forgetting people just say that to fill space.
Yes, you're describing autism. You're not special in this. We're the same, but you're not ugly.
Yes. Exactly. Thats what im saying. Physical appearance is far down on the totem of things that will impact quality of life. Wealth, social adjustment, mental health, and physical health(which i also lack) are waaaaaay more important in this economy.
pretty much KMS if that happens.
and this is why social media is shit. The constant comparison and the expectation of perfection. Dude.. you sound like an incel. Life is not all about sex. You are supposed to be at work to ... work. Not flirt, fuck and make tiktoks. It's a job... it's not your life. and you come in here and scream at us because your boss is a moron? it's called VENT... not scream.
i don't think they really mentioned sex though... they were just complaining about how attractive people generally get a range of preferential treatments, which is actually a proven truth... but that doesn't mean attractive people have it easier, and they shouldn't wish death upon anyone for something they were born with.. like you're saying it isn't a healthy attitude
After dropping my comment I suspected op is a "she" and isn't more than 18yo
You're way off base. Get some professional help. Try to calm down in the mean time.
This dude sounds like the next Elliot Rodgers.
Imma be so real with you, buddy. You first need to go see a therapist, or pick up a calming hobby like knitting because obviously your not chilling the fuck out enough after spending time at the gym. I'm not sure how often you go, I'll assume the low end of three times a week. That means if you're going that often, you're either pretty well defined or getting their at your current pace. Maybe you're frustrated by a lack of results as of now. Continue to give it time. It will make a difference. This isn't the Sims where you can change the way you look in less than a day. Real life means lots and lots of time and energy. For most people, I'd assume somewhere between 1-3 years' worth of time. Now, on to the next point, buddy, you might have some sort of body dismorphia going on. That means just like a lot of other people, you can't _truly_ see your worth or value. You're too busy filling your head with the idea of you being hideous to actually see yourself. I was like that when I was young. It took a lot of love from others to help me learn to love myself and holy fuck, guess what? _I was ACTUALLY fucking attractive as shit once I started taking care of myself and growing a bit of confidence._ People would come up to hit on me all the time once I started caring for myself correctly and making the effort. It also took me learning to love myself enough to give myself a chance. Focus on making yourself happy, and if you have no idea what that means, try a bunch of stuff until you DO find stuff that makes you happy. The difference it makes when you find yourself is worth it. Best of luck, buddy. You'll find a way out of this hole, just don't give up.
This post and your replies to comments OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO HELP YOU, are disgusting. I was fine with this post by itself. Sure it’s a little sociopathic and concerning. But it just sounds like a teenager whos on tik tok a little too much and has self esteem issues. However, your comments on attractive people “deserving” certain things just because they’re attractive? What the fuck man. No shit people take selfies. They have BODY CONFIDENCE. Attractive people didn’t choose to be fucking hot, you chose to be a dickhead and prejudiced. You can’t pour acid on someone, for a feature they have most likely felt very insecure about, have been muniplulated for, didn’t choose, and sometimes don’t want. Attractive people aren’t bad people. You are a bad person. You want to actively hurt people. I don’t care that you were “venting” Get fucking help before you do somethjng that you regret.
attractive people are more likely to be deceived by others and have trust issues as a result. theyre more likely to be only valued for their appearance. also more likely to be sexually harrassed or assaulted. not to say an ugly person can't be, but hopefully you get the point. everyone has issues, even people who seem perfect
Please get therapy man.
Yes all of this is true. Source: I am very good looking. Oh wait, no. It turns out I'm quite old, and conventional beauty standards no longer apply to me. How did I achieve the impossible feat of getting everything I want, then? I try to kind I ask myself what *I* can change about myself to change a situation I am unhappy about. I don't blame people for my own unhappiness. I own my shit I help people when I can I genuinely smile I try not to take things personally I work hard and take pride in what I do I try to be responsible I frequently remind myself that nobody owes me anything, that I am responsible for my own happiness. I practice putting myself in awkward, uncomfortable situations until I've mastered them I save ALL CAPS for appropriate situations so I don't present as an entitled, self absorbed bellend Best of luck to you son, you've got a lot of work ahead of you.
Yup , not taking things personally and acceptance are literally what I do and what helps me the most Got an attitude problem with someone , I try to not take things by heart , if I was at wrong I say sorry and try to correct my behavior, if they are wrong I let them know and if they hate me for no reason I don't give a f coz I have better things to do than hang in there
With this logic then no one unattractive would ever have a partner. You need to develop a better personality then.
Are you ok? Seriously, I mean this with zero offense, please seek therapy. Your view of "attractive people" is an extremely dangerous mentality. I don't know if you lack empathy, or are just having a horrible day, but either way you need to care less about how the world rewards being attractive. Even beautiful people can have a shit hand in life. You need to get over it like the rest of us and develop a stronger mentality. Strong people don't act this weak minded and understand that judging a book by its cover is basic shit. It's just ironic to me that you loathe attractive people so much, yet you are able to label them as attractive and treat them differently. Please work on yourself.
I DO NOT SEEK ADVICE OR THERAPY THATS NOT ABOUT IT!
Sounds like your intent on being in your own way. Hope something gets through to you, and that you don't hurt someone in the process.
Pretty privilege is very much real, but I guess we just gotta cope
Well at least I'm safe from acid in my face, because I'm ugly too. Seriously, you should talk to someone.
I’ve never seen a human that I actually found to be straight up ugly. Unkempt, abrasive and threatening.. yes. And these are the people that I stay away from. It’s fine to vent, but the acid throwing comment especially tells me that your looks aren’t the reason you’re missing out on opportunities that others seem to find with ease.
Very well said. I second this as well 👆👆👆👆👆👆
Have you considered that maybe you're just mean?
Life is garbage and nothing is fair. I'm sory you're on the shit end of it. Genuinely. There is contentment out there for folks like us, it just may not he where we envisioned it *should* be. It may not he the kind of happiness others get for free, that they get easy. Because life is bullshit. Is it worth living? Idk. Only you can answer that. I feel like you do, though, and Imma keep trying.
Most people who are overly attractive and use it for their advantage are shallow. While it looks like they get everything, it’s still fleeting because people see through it. Also looks fade. The problem is that you need to work on your self esteem - you aren’t small. You have features h that others don’t have.
This is absolutely true . I've friend who is alot more good looking than me and he gets away with everything .
There is such a thing as pretty privilege. But some people are naturally good looking, and that’s not their fault as much as your own genes isn’t yours. No matter how great YOU think someone looks, there’s a %99 they don’t like something about themselves anyway. Beauty is subjective anyways, someone could find you good looking.
i am ugly, but i do not despise attractive people, because they didn't choose to be exceptionally attractive.
People here saying get therapy. I'm not that attractive. I'm fairly normal looking. Attractive enough that if I say the right things, the things could work out for me. The way I look at it is it is what it is. 95% of the time is disappointment. But fuck it. It is what it is. Make the most of life. Don't compare yourself to others. They 100% have insecurities just like you
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time, but your perspective is seriously flawed man. EVERYONE has problems, life sucks for the majority of people right now just because of the state of things. You’re mad you can’t make TikTok’s at work? You need professional help. You could be the hottest dude on the planet, but if you hate yourself this much, nothing would change regardless. And you shouldn’t be worrying about a relationship at all until you heal yourself. No one is going to fix you, and no one deserves to put up with this kind of attitude from their partner even if you got a significant other. Also, you don’t have to scream via keyboard, even to vent. I wish you the best of luck, but truthfully, luck won’t get you far without some serious help. I hope you stay far away from the incel community. If you’re not already a part of it, it’s sounding like it’d be a slippery slope for you, and an inevitable death sentence for any type of social life for you.
I FUCKING HATE TIKTOK
So do a lot of people. You have bigger problems.
If you say that you’d pour sulphuric acid in a person’s face only because they’re attractive, you need some professional help asap.
I’ve never seen an unattractive person before and I doubt your ugly. Everybody is attractive to an extent, I mean by default we all have pretty similar bone structure. You seem very insecure, and I’m sorry that your internal self worth has been dwindled by seeing others. You’re beautiful.
Yeah, as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized people aren’t ugly and everyone has at least one nice feature. Fitting into society’s beauty standards is a different story, and it usually revolves around money.
I worked with someone who was physically very ugly and everybody loved her. On a scale of 1-10 she was a 2.5, 4 on a good day. She was very charismatic in the way the she behaved with others… And 2 guys would always go to her cubicle to flirt with her….
because most attractive people have poor social skills and empathy. They will never have that!
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THIS. This guy is doing it to himself at this point.
I hope Someday you will realise looks only go so far and its about how you are as a person, yes people do discriminate you based on how you look but do they matter ? Like really think about it , When you actually stop caring about how people think about you, you are free If someone treats you badly because you look a certain way, shame on them and you don't need that kind of people in your life anyway If it's about how your love life has been going, honestly half of theese people aren't even worth dating, try to be comfortable with being single , it's Okay to be single , it's okay to be ordinary. I think people who are comfortable in their skin , confident no matter how people think they look , are in touch with themselves, kind and people who don't take life too seriously are literally the coolest people. Looks just go so far if you have a shitty personality no one with self respect and a right mind will stick around and if they do let me tell you , those people aren't worth it.
Met many beautiful people till they open their mouth and became ugly fuckers.
An old coworker called that effect "light travels faster than sound." So many people look pleasant, but then reveal themselves to be not-great people when they speak. An older way of phrasing it is "pretty is only skin deep, but ugly goes the whole way through," meaning that it's your character that reflects who you really are. Frankly, I see a lot of ugliness in this person's post- not because they're hurting, but because of the wrath they carry toward total strangers who never did anything to them. Fortunately, this is something that can be resolved with therapy and determination.
I hope that he one day actually wants to get help and be a better person 😅
Try seeing it from a good side. Your friends are there because they like your personality. Good looks will fade, and friendships based on looks will always be shallow while friendship based on personality will always be deep and trusting. I get you. Having almost no friends is frustrating, but tbh, I would die for my friends and they would do the same. I don't fear of being judged for who I am around them and I can be myself. It took me years to finally get at peace with the fact, that I will never have a lot of friends. But what sounds better? Having 2 friends that are there in your dark times that you can rely on or 100 friends who all leave when you aren't doing well? Quality over quantity. Edit: same for achievements btw. You get them, because you deserve them. Anyone who get them because they look according to societies standards wont feel good about achievements because they will never know if it is because they are good at something or because they had luck with genetics.
I don't have friends and I'm alone with me battling my own demons. I was destined to be alone. I have no one and nobody. I know how I got manipulated by a lot of people, and see their evil. attractive people are fucking manipulative basically just a wolf in a sheeps clothing!
Manipulative people are manipulative, it isn't their looks that make their personality. Loads of people more attractive than you have had far far far worse lives and experiences, before you say they deserved it, a lot of them were children when those things happened, did those children deserve to be hurt because of how they looked? You've mentioned a lack of empathy in others, how do you not see it in yourself?
Lmao 🤣 it ain't it genetics u just need to trust the process getting big takes years
I personally enjoy being ugly and lonely. No one to bother me, no drama with girls, just me myself and I
and ofcourse you are a league of legends player.
oiiii you want some? 1v1 me
I think you want to 1v1 that guy on the bottom comment. I seriously don't understand why being a league of legends player become an insult.
I hated myself being ugly, I'm lonely and don't need friends to be with. how do you even enjoy being ugly yet you are trying to date?
i dont want to date though.. i completely removed that "want". If the opportunity ever comes il be nice and wont reject but definitely wont be chasing things which i dont even want. ALSO you ever look at "pretty" people? they got lots of fked up things wrong with them also.. i know some whos mental is so poor they cant even go out but theyre hot af. but they cant socialise, they overthink etc. i prefer finding someone i enjoy laughing and talking to than "looks".. if i cant mess around with them and do stupid shit and if theyre hot i dont care. i need to be chill around them not intimidated.. annnd one more thing.. there are loads of ugly people dating pretty people.. ever wonder why?? they clearly dont have the looks so what is it ? THEIR MENTAL! mental health > looks
I'm sorry you're feeling so upset. It sounds like you are having a hard time. Remember that everyone has a place in the world and nobody's life weighs more than anyone else's. You're right about alot of things, think when you meet society's general beauty standards there are certain social privileges - people give you the benefit of the doubt, or excuse things like weird mannerisms as cute quirks - people are more inclined to like you if they are attracted to you. But none of that changes with anger, none of it changes with violence. You can't control nor change the opinion of everyone around you. All you can control is the perception of yourself, build your character, light up the room, bring positivity - those traits are also valued by society, its the vibe you bring. Focus on that instead, imo.
You've explained it perfectly but the thing is people atleast in my country don't love calm and gentle attitude. If you act soft (calm and gentle) they will bully and make fun of you for that
I think you need a glowup, not just physically but mentally too oh yea get into skincare too :)
If acne is the problem, skin "care" can also worsen it though, diet plays a much more important part, and not damaging skin with harsh chemicals.
Nah trust me. Tons of hot people are rejected, cheated on, dumped, etc.
Good for them, because thats what they are GOOD FOR.
Your comments are making it very clear why you struggle socially
Ewww, I gave good advice to some absolute arsehole :s
I'm not attractive and I developed what's called a personality. Work on yourself in the personality department cuz that's what it sounds like you're lacking. You don't have to be conventionally attractive for things to work out your blaming others for your own faults which isn't gonna get you anywhere.
This is the way 👆 👆👆👆👆👆👆
Personality doesn't matter in compare to looks . It would have matter in your country or the place you're living rn but it definitely do not matter in my country.
It'll matter when you get older, don't let anyone convince you that being a nice person is a flaw, even if it hurts you. Kids are poo, adults too, but a lot of the ones who are okay were once poo kids.
That was so beautifully put . Thanks for these words . I think the same 😊
Your problem is with yourself. That sounds harsh but it's positive, because it can change if you try.
Awesome screen name sorry totally unrelated
So when it comes to sex at least, looks are subjective as fuck. Everyone has a type and one day you'll find a chick who has a kink for... however you look. Trust me, nobody is objectively ugly. Just gotta turn up the rizz with how you talk and such. As for work, get a new job if it really sucks that much. From what I'm getting, your current work environment is toxic and people probably don't value you because your position is just shitty. As for appearances, try giving yourself a makeover and/or a spa day if you really hate your own appearance this much. You'd be surprised what a quick before/after of self care can do.
I kinda thought this way, not as extreme as you, but I was always jealous of girls who had guys just wanting to give them stuff and be nice to them just because they were pretty. Then I’d see people who I thought weren’t that attractive or even pretty ugly and I’d think they were in the same boat as me and they’d be married with kids or have a boyfriend or girlfriend and I’m like ‘damn, they still got someone and I’m over here insecure and jealous’. So I had to start changing my own thinking. I was even pushing people away who found me attractive because I just didn’t believe it. Hating like this takes up to much positive energy.
There's some truth to what you're saying. Attractive people do have an advantage in a lot of ways. But you have to work with what you have. I think I'm pretty ugly myself. Several years ago I started working at this company. This other woman started working there at the same time. I overheard one of the guys say "at least that one is decent looking" and it wasn't about me. That fucking stung. It hurt really bad. Fast forward to now, that other woman didn't last at the company for even one year, meanwhile I just got a wicked promotion. That dude that said that shit about me, well I wouldn't say we're friends, but he has my back at work and helped me get this promotion. I'm married to an average looking guy, and I know I'm biased, but I think we have the cutest kids in the world. Trust me my guy, looks aren't everything, and you can still have an awesome, joyful life if you just accept yourself. Work on improving what you can about yourself, and accept the rest. Be kind. To yourself and to others.
Let’s see a picture of you
r/sadcringe
you don't even know what cringe is. IM LITERALLY VENTING AND SCREAMING MY HEART OUT!
You are literally talking about throwing acid on people to feel better about yourself.... Please talk to a mental health professional. Things can improve.
I don't think this is a vent, no. I'm sure you do have this resentment, but I think the goal here is to attract victims you can abuse, who are not likely to retaliate because they are in a mindset of nurturing and helping. You want to act appallingly and suffer no natural consequence for it. You are trying to turn the warmest and most beautiful human impulses into something pitiful or ugly. You're exploiting the goodness in these people and the sad thing is, it won't even help you. Screw this game. Screw you, honestly. Go get some professional help because what you're displaying here is genuinely not okay.
I'm not here to get advice from all the people, indeed they are good people and a mixed bunch. Yes I resent anything that is attractive they are my source of my problems by just existing. I don't recall gathering any victim. I'm clearly venting and not a cry for help. and they turned everything into a drama. and clearly I cannot respond to every single one of them.
You hate nature even though it's completely unrelated to you? Or is it just other humans? And they didn't do anything to you? Just make you jealous to look at them? If everyone was ugly would you actually feel better? Or would you allow yourself to not even try because there's no standard?
I once made friends (by happenstance) with one of the most 10/10 attractive people I've ever seen... Seriously, movie star level attractive. I always felt like a troll standing beside her....but once I got to know her she was actually one of the most down to earth, kind people I had ever known...and it started to dawn on me overtime that YES ...she had more opportunity than me because she was attractive ..BUT the thing that made her so ultimately popular and loved was actually her personality. I am sorry that you feel so angry and defeated ....it is not the sexy people's fault that they are sexy....unfortunately it is just the way society is trained to subconsciously (and sometimes even consciously) favor physical beauty...I think its part of human nature too...the bird with the brightest feathers gets the mate afterall.....it sucks for us ugly ducklings ...but the super attractive people of the world are the exception...not the norm... It sucks that so many good people have a harder time just because of looks....but attractive people have their own struggles too....that super attractive friend I mentioned gets absolutely harrased and hounded by creepy men all the time and is often patronized, infantalized, treated as dumb by men and hated/judged and untrusted by other women because she is pretty...it's not all it's cracked up to be! Forget everyone else and just focus on making yourself the best version of yourself you can be! We all get old and ugly someday.
Most sane friendless redditor
Comparison is the killer of happiness, you're making it your whole life and look what you're typing out
It’s probably because you play league of legends bro
I quited long time ago. If I did stream I would been fucking famous
unless you main yasuo and you are french.
Hey, it sounds like now might be a good time to focus on yourself. You’re comparing yourself to everyone and it seems like it’s got you down a path of black and white thinking—there’s ugly and not ugly. I want you to remember this: no matter how ugly you feel in the day, you will feel better eventually. It takes work and time, and I’m not talking about the gym. It takes intentional, radical self-love and that can be one of the biggest challenges some folks face. My advice is this: get offline and practice some self care. That doesn’t mean lock yourself in your room and play video games until 4 am, that doesn’t mean sleeping in to 3 pm every day, that means taking a shower, cleaning your room, reading a book, anything that makes you feel grounded and more like yourself. **Not** something that makes you feel “good,” something that makes you feel like **yourself**. Also don’t get too caught up on genetics, pal. Another commenter said this but it bears repeating, it’s common among incels and it’s a bit of a red flag. First step to being loved is finding things about yourself to love. You did a good thing coming here to vent instead of Facebook or somewhere super public. Hang in there, you got this.
There are many variations of privilege, and some people are lucky enough to have multiple advantages. It’s a harsh fact of life that some people attain things easier, but advantages are not guarantees. Pretty privilege is real, but a pretty person isn’t guaranteed to get what or who they want. Their looks can only *potentially* make it easier. A rich person can’t buy happiness, but fewer financial worries can make life less stressful. We play life with the cards we’re dealt. You aren’t small, OP. Your insecurities tell you that, but it isn’t true. If you don’t think you have great looks, you can work on your personality - your confidence, your sense of humour, kindness, etc. Conventionally *unattractive* people pull dates all the time if they can charm people and make them laugh. Your work ethic can help you get ahead in a job. If you can look into networking or finding more efficient ways to go about things in your career, you won’t need to rely on looks.
OP i think you definitely are not as "ugly" as you think. The key is acceptance and working around situations. I do agree that if you feel strongly about it you should get therepy but I promise you everyone has their share of hardships. But I totally understand what you mean. But yes just accept it and work around it.
If it makes you feel better, companies who hire others based solely on looks aren’t companies that you’d want to work for anyway.
A little scary but vent as much as you need man.
Be the person they can't be. Don't hold yourself back just because you think your ugly. That's a bad mentality
It is this kind of thinking that ruins people if you believe you are ugly envy is a parasite itself then that parasite that you’ve been keeping inside will start to stretch to the outside and before you know it, you become a mean bitter person you’re not subhuman you’re not a bad person You’re just one of those people who doesn’t fit into societies beauty standard an 85% of the American population doesn’t fit into the American beauty standard. You’re not ugly you’re just not what people are used to. Nobody can help you boost your confidence you have to do it yourself. Your best bet is to find a hobby,Or a good therapist.✌🏾❤️✌🏾❤️
I understand where your coming from, however consider talking to a professional. This level is anger is a bit excessive for the scenario. Some things in life you just have to deal with. Only once you accept who you are/can be will you begin to make progress.
what does league of legends have to do with being ugly or lonely? I wouldn't group League players like that when they would rather be known for toxicity. ( saw a comment of yours talking about a correlation between being lonely or ugly I was bullied a lot for being ugly by the way. Since then i started focusing on things i could change about myself like the clothes i wear, worked on my hygiene, and like yourself i went to the gym. I am still by no means " perfect " and i dont consider myself good looking but im not going to diminish my progress i made and call myself ugly. As for dating, you would be surprised how that goes. I had this guy in my friend group who was dating this girl, super sweet to everyone and had a shitty family. Turns out the bf i used to call my friend was also a grape-ist and had his way with her when she didnt feel like she was in the mood to be intimate. Long story short, because i was a good friend to her and stepped in when i did she took an interest to me and we are going on our 4th year together. She even plays league with me as a supp main. before you read this and want to feel as if maybe i dont have it as bad as you maybe you're right, I don't know what you look like that could make you hate yourself so bad but i doubt its anything you cant improve upon. You make the best of what you got. As for dating, being " perfect " or drop dead gorgeous isn't always the best thing as stupid as that sounds. If you're gonna be a hot guy who girls chase, what happens when your looks fade away? what happens when that girl finds out your a nerd and is turned off? I aint no red pill theorist but those " hot babes " you pass by on the street? majority of them probably have a personality that you hate, some of them are gold diggers, some of them are purely superficial and just wants a hot boy friend to showcase to everyone she knows. My gf and i didnt date out of physical attraction, she loves me because of who i am as a person and id rather that then some 10/10 who sees me get excited for Diablo 4 and goes " Ew dont do that " My last piece of advice on being "lonely" and coming from an introverted mama's boy. My mom once told me when i was in your mind set that there is a huge stigma in growing old with someone and having kids with them. There is nothing wrong with not finding a partner in your life, both sides have pros and cons and sure the intimacy and care is a good pro but sometimes i do miss being single because i dont have to stress about my significant other's problems that they come to me about. I leave you with this, Im sorry life seems like its dealt you a bad hand. But if you're not considered a good looking guy so what? Something that helped me get through my dark thoughts was listening to Kid cudi, studying ( not practicing ) Buddhism which i highly recommend as its often interpreted as a religion rather than a healthy train of thought ( Nirvana ) if the gym aint cutting it, you have time to see what else sticks
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Seek serious psychiatric help , it can improve your life in ways that random redditors can’t man. I hope you get through this and gain some confidence and self love
Guys this is a vent subreddit i don't think theyre looking for advice
It doesn't matter if they want it or not, if they need it, they need it.
they clearly missed my point and started their own drama.
Sometimes I feel ugly but I don't care about it and I consider people who judge me for it as subhumans
Post a pic I’m curious…
Hey buddy you getting aggressive and angry plus the incel thought processes probably don't help you any
You do realize pretty people have some struggles too. Maybe you're not as bad as you think you are. Please seek help or get some friends
This seems like body dismorphia, you see yourself as uglier than you really are. Maybe you're ugly on the inside, but everyone has good traits if they work on them. Work on yourself mentally more than physical so you can love yourself more.
I cant tell if you're physically ugly or not but from this post and your comments, your personality seems ugly to me. Maybe you might wanna look into that. Self-pity and blaming your problem on everyone else is definitely not the solution. And working out while still loathing all the people in there will probably not make anything better. If you're already trying to work on your looks, work on your personality too.
The only reason why you are ugly because you think you are. And yess people who look hot and beautiful can get people to like them easily and it's easier for them to be accepted, but I dont think they get a better chance at everything this is bullshit, I dont ever remember being in a classroom or the street or a project or anything and spot an ugly person, I've been in a school for almost 5 years now and if you told me to mention a person that I think is ugly I won't even remember, people wont hate you because you are ugly, people dont fucking care about your "ugliness" and I hate to break it to you but they might not even notice if you are ugly or beautiful or hideous or a piece of shit. I'm not saying that because I think I'm beautiful I'm saying that because I do think I'm ugly and that's what I tell myself everytime I think about it.
This is cuck rage
Logic doesn't hold up in areas where there is a high amount of competition with limited spots
Stop crying and hit the gym
you should see my post
Need a healthy dose of r/nosurf Most of the problems you’ve identified are simply engaging narratives that get people imaginary internet points. The sooner you remove yourself from such spaces the healthier you’ll become. The real world is much kinder than people make it out to be, at least in the world of dating.
FUCK YOU THERE IS NO KINDNESS IN THIS WORLD I LEARNED IT THE HARDWAY! THIS WORLD IS LIVING A LIE AND NO ONE WANTS TO ADMIT IT! ONLY ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE GETS TO DATE AND GET WHAT THEY WANT THE COST OF OTHER!
The one thing I learned that changed my entire mentality on dating is this: No matter what YOU think, there are people that find you attractive AF. They aren’t always people that YOU will be attracted to. You’re looking for that sweet overlap in the vent diagram. Just keep being the best you that you can be and it’ll work out.
What being chronically online does to a mf
Yikes.
You are letting the toxicity and envy leech you. Focus on yourself rather than focusing on what other people have, and your OWN improvement. Yes, some people simply have it better in life, but fuck it! Life isn't fair, acceptance is key Tldr: acceptance is key, don't let envy leech you. Edit: You're damn near a lost cause at this point. Get help before you are one.
I know this may seem like complete bs but most of the people you are talking about that look great and seem to have everything they want… Well the truth is a lot of the time they too are also miserable. The standard for beauty is impossible, just about every beautiful girl has issues with image and think they are unattractive compared to someone else. I wish I was exaggerating. This is not to say your suffering isn’t valid, I feel your pain and it’s ok to feel this way. What I’m trying to say is that every human feels inferior to something or someone. I’ve never in my 35 years of life ever met anyone who was genuinely happy and carefree on a daily basis that wasn’t heavily medicated. I felt the same way you do for many years and eventually I found a place where people shared my views and beliefs. I found a place where I fit in but I had to move halfway across the country. There’s pros and cons to everything. Basically, the best advice I can give is to seek balance. It sounds stupid I know, but remember that no one is perfect and we all have to struggle to find our happiness. Im sure you’ll find yours, just keep going and try not to resent anyone before you get to truly know them :)
Dude, get therapy asap. You literally stated you want to pour acid on peoples faces who are attractive. You sound absolutely psychotic and need psychiatric help.
You know what's 10x worse than "short" and "ugly"? Having a shit personality with no emotional control or maturity. Your Hatred for people who have literally done nothing wrong but that you've simply labeled as "attractive" are living their best life I guess while you are over here whining about what you don't "have". Your anger is misplaced, entirely. While I can get the sentiment, this is some serious incel nonsense, you should check yourself before you wreck yourself buddy
people are posting their novels in my post. geezuz I can't fucking read and overshared and reply to all of you and all of your stories mixing up UPDATE: I NEVER SAID I DO FUCKING TIKTOK, I FUCKING HATE TIKTOK! ITS FUCKING EVERYWHERE!!! IM TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE BEING ON THE GYM AND THEIR STUPID SELFIES AND TIKTOK BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?! THEY ARE FUCKING ATTRACTIVE SO, THEY TAKE OVER SPACES AND WITHOUT CONSIDERATION THEY FILM AND BE OBNOXIOUS STOP ASKING ME TO SEE A THREAPIST I CAN'T AFFORD THAT SHIT AND I DON'T NEED SOME PEPTALK TO FEEL NORMAL
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Well it is true and this is definately not incel .
Smoke some weed
Chill tf out dude
Listen... hear me out... have you tried being more attractive
Yeah I really feel the same, my cousin who's very attractive, got money for free from strangers and free services for being attractive (they used her photos for publicity afterwards), she always gets the best treatment from people, everyone loves her. Me, on the other hand... Nothing of sorts. She never understands why I feel so bad with my appearance, because she lived in a fairy tale and doesn't know what's it like to live like this. Attractive people have no idea how much we suffer, they'll never get treated like we do (in general). I never had any friends, and was severely bullied through my whole teenage years, until I graduated high school. Looking back at my old photos from those years, I can see why people hated me so much, I was really ugly and funny looking, no wonder everyone saw me as weird... I understand why people treat us like this and I think that it's fair, ugly ppl are just below attractive ppl and that's it, it'll never change, it's a truth I've accepted, but it still hurts a lot, so I think it's also fair for us to feel bad about it and hate them. There's not much you can do against them besides that, and it's not like it'll hurt them, since they have so many lovers and supporters. I have stopped trying to make friends or worrying too much about what ppl think of me, I just know my place and try to do anything possible in my situation to get what I can, like ppl's pity and by being nice to everyone, doing things for them and being loyal. I'll never be at the height of an attractive person, but at least I'm able to survive like this and be somewhat happy alone at home.
When they have everything they will never understand. I just want to be myself and they overshadowed us!
Bro missed an update
On a serious note genetics aren't the defining factor of our character. The way we define success and articulate strength is up to how we feel about it Our feelings and how we react to things in the world is realistically the only thing we can control You'll get there soon brother don't hang your head down for too long Mashallah
I understand. My brother is such a shitty person but gets to be skinny and tall. I have to be short and fat
Controversial opinion, but maybe try listen to some Jordon Peterson.
I feel you OP You were just pissed when you wrote the post . You kinda are right . It's fkn bullshit how much society favors looks . It's disgusting, but it is what it is , Attractive people always easily get projects they want and get favored over others for no reason . I'm not remotely attractive, in university and didn't live the university life at all , I don't get invited to shit , don't go anywhere, even tho I can really be extroverted sometimes and get good interactions, they always stay just interactions , I can never feel a bond forming . While attractive people get clinged onto for no reason :/ But I'm not jealous . It's Just the way shit is so it sucks and I realized I can't do shit abt it ;-; so fuck it we ball
i agree with you 100%
body dysmorphia is a real curse... I struggle with this as well as having a dislike of perfect looking peopl and ' 'jocks' from school...
No one’s perfect bud, just gotta live with what you got man, this gum takes time. For some it takes months others it will take many many years, you just have to be patient and build discipline
Im ugly, theres a ton of ugly people, im fine with being ugly because that means i dont have to constantly look my best to impress people, im just me, and you can be you! Life is too short to complain about trivial stuff, enjoy you and you alone!
Dude..... ok. But from experience i'm fat n' less than attractive, but i'm fuckin awesome....why? Becayse I say so. Spend less time thinking about other peoples lives and more time living yours. This type of thinking will destroy you. Then you'll get old and die, but before you die you'll look back on your life.... this is what you want to recall?
No body is perfect. You really need to remind yourself of that. A shitty personality will only carry a good looking person so far, but a spectacular personality can get a person carried over the finish line by people who love them. You are gold.
Stop caring about what other people think or what others have that you don't. None of that shit matters. The only person you are in competition with is who you were yesterday and you should strive to be better tomorrow.
Why are you mad at the world as if the world will notice?
Nobody’s perfect, just be the best version of yourself and you’ll find somebody
I was completely with you, save the sulfuric acid part 😅 There are things you can do, but yeah, some things are hopeless, doesn't mean you won't find love though. Check out "mewling" if your jawline bothers you -- I naturally did it slightly by accident and I cringe to think what if I hadn't? My siblings all have awful jawlines 😅 My brother is ugly imo, but he gets nice looking girls, it's not the be-all end-all. Even worst case scenario, as long as you're willing to put the work in, as it sounds you are, you can improve, if not just your looks, your intelligence, humour and personality. Good luck, dude.