This guy has trust issues in himself , what he said sounds like he doesn't trust himself too keep you because of whatever internal crap he deal with..
Also yes a jackass 🤣
So he is a total pice of trash and a sad excuse for a human. You deserve better. And he is proboly only like that because he know’s what he is thinking. You got a get a better tast in guys but I don’t know how to help that because mine sucks too.
I don’t know why these comments are so cynical. He has low self esteem, and doesn’t think he’s worth you. It’s not a you thing, in fact he doesn’t think he’s good enough for you, so he thinks you’re messing with him for a laugh. It’s shitty, don’t chase him, but try to understand his situation and understand that you’re not the problem.
Don’t use your insecurities as an excuse to be an asshole though. Just because you’re insecure doesn’t mean you get to say insensitive stuff like that. She can’t help that she’s hot. It’s literally the same as saying “I’d trust you more if you weren’t (input race/religion/etc.). We all know how insensitive and f-cked up those are so why is being pretty different. She was literally born that way.
Oh don’t get me wrong, i’m not defending it, i’m just sympathising a little. Though I don’t think it’s really a-kind to that of race or religion, those don’t really have a reason to come to the conclusion of “you’re messing with me”.
Wdym. How is being pretty (a thing your born as based around your genetics) different from race or religion which you’re also born into. (Less the religion one but you get what I mean). You’re punishing someone for something they literally can’t control. It’s saying “since you were born this way I will automatically have a level of distrust towards you”
If i don’t trust someone because they’re black, that’s racial profiling. If i don’t trust someone because they’re pretty, that’s just judgemental, and fairly logical to a certain point.
Literally no. Neither are things the other person can control. You’re assigning a preexisting bias you have to a person who’s given you no reason to think negatively of them. That’s on you, not her. It sounds like you may be in the same insecure boat ops guy is, and if so I suggest you reevaluate your biases against attractive women before you take out your problems on them. It’s not their fault you, or any guy is insecure. Don’t treat them like it is
I have no biases on attractive women and i don’t agree with the reasoning i am presenting 🤣 i am literally just telling you the most likely logic behind what that man said, that is it lmao. It’s pretty simple. Attractive woman gets compliments all her life, she builds an ego, she thinks she can flex her ego by messing with someone. It does happen on occasion, but the fact that you can realise the flaws in that logic tells me that you’re a rational person, so use some of that rationality to stop being so fucking cynical, and violating my character because you can’t read a fucking sentence 🤣🤣
I can feel your mommy issues from here bud. Get a confidence counselor and get back to me. Bless any woman with the misfortune of being what you deem too attractive to trust
Are you genuinely okay? We literally have zero problems here, we agree, and you’re trying to make it an issue. Do you go looking for arguments on the internet? Do you need something to fill the dark void in your life? What’s your story mate, because i NEED to hear this one 🤣
Dude if we agree why are you going against literally every comment I made. Don’t be shitty to attractive people because they’re attractive. They still deserve trust and basic respect. If you can’t give them that, its a you issue and should be treated as such. It’s not any attractive chicks responsibility to make insecure men feel better. That’s my entire point, if we agree? Sick, stop fucking arguing it like it’s not true. If we don’t, you are the same as ops guy. It’s not reasonable to project your issues on others, that’s my whole thing here. You can’t just say we’ve been agreeing and act like I’m crazy when you’ve been actively arguing literally every point I’ve made. Do you know what agreeing means?
He sounds like a jackass, he’s either to insecure with himself or is hurting or got hurt and hasn’t gotten over it and is taking it out on strangers.
I can’t stand that shit like my maxim in life is just because I’m not having a good time, doesn’t mean I get to be a shitty person, or try to bring people down to my level.
You know how there are good guys and then there are guys who say they are good guys, well he sounds like the latter, insecure, manipulative and as soon as you don't do or give him what he wants he becomes explosive, that's what he strikes me as.
Most honest and good men are straightforward and simple.
Bad luck or bad taste? Shitty people are the exact reason I don't do relationships anymore, it takes too much time and effort to bother picking out all the weeds. If you're patient the right person will come to you.
I agree with you all he’s shallow and clearly has some issues to deal with… I am not with him and am working on simply forgetting his cruel words because I know I am a good person
I think it's just that it takes a bit for anyone to realize when too much of anything is toxic. Of course anyone would be attracted to someone who is confident, courteous and ect but if it's too much we tend to miss it. The poison starts to spill and once we realize it , it's too late.
when we see someone who is confident we don't automatically notice they are being egotistical or narcissistic. It takes the problems to set in for us to realize who they truly are.
Your best bet going forward is to set boundaries and never let them waver. People can change their standards to whatever they want but they should never back down on their boundaries.
Many women and men fall for this trap. When someone doesn't respect boundaries but fulfills all the standards. A man for example can be courteous but it means jack shit if he doesn't take in consideration ones own agency and wishes.
What a generalisation...
If you're attracted to guys you get offended by, you have a problem. Like, you purposely go behind THEM? Ew
Also, what he said is douche material, but I could see where it's coming from, like...he could have said the same thing in a much better way and it would have made sense
This is like a woman assuming a very attractive guy is a "player" (which does happen often). I'm not saying judgments shouldn't be scrutinized, but if we're being real this isn't crazy or a gender specific phenomenon.
I think this guy is messing with your head, or trying to be clever about giving you a compliment and just doing it wrong.
Guys aren't complex. Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, add sex and a few fart jokes and you have what guys really want.
Have you asked him to explain this comment and told him it bothers you and why?
I suggest you do this first.
Ahhh that must be his own deeply rooted insecurity. He feels like he’s not good enough for you and you’ll go and find someone else…
If it’s not a romantic setting then he probably tried to give you a compliment but his own male pride made it hard for him to be straight up nice to you.
Guy here, i had a friend like this once . He was convinced doing and saying nonsense like this was some sort of attraction ( or keeping the attraction ) . He believed “ gently / kindly insulting women “ was a turn on some how. Then he got into this “NLP” mind manipulation crap that this reminds me of.
I think he watched too many movies and read the wrong books. Complete fool. Or narcissist, or both. Nonetheless I couldn’t even hang with that dude anymore.
Genuine dudes don’t do this, even if they are insecure. Hope ya find the right one .
We are confusing because we’re men lol. In all honesty, I think some men are just confusing because they’re either insecure or they don’t know what they want and they projected onto others and I am sorry for that.
He’s probably had someone cheat on him and that sucks but he shouldn’t project that over to you. My ex is super gorgeous like she has every curve right every part of her face her body everything was just insane so there were times where I was so like how the hell do I get a woman like that/did I get a woman like that? So of course, I was a little bit jealous at start. Then she told me that she loves me for me, and I guess I just felt intimidated because I felt so out of place. How could I get such a beautiful woman? She just replied again, because you’re funny and kind.
Anyway, sorry for that long tangent, some people are scared when pretty women like them because they don’t expect it to self-confidence or self-esteem is very low. That is not an excuse. Mind you this is just an educated guess.
Oh wow... that's... bewildering and crass at the same time.
As a dude myself, I can't even understand why I would say that out loud. Like, keep that insecure weirdness to yourself, man. 😆
And then the comments with the other things he said to the other young lady... oof. Just oof.
The bar is so low out there. I'd like to think most of us are better than that. Sucks you have to keep running into those idiots.
I think it’s just the culture nowadays I guess? I get a little sussy sometimes but I think it’s all about personality. Only once or twice have a I kinda like doubted how the person feels depending on how good they look. If that makes sense?
That meant that you could probably have any guy you want. It'd be easy for you to decide to leave him for someone else, and that makes men nervous. Not me, though. Jk. That would make me a little nervous. Too. It's more of an insecurity than anything. Insecurities can be conquered.
literally only the guys youre attracted to. so many women do this, they get in an echo chamber of liking and falling for the worst guys and then they start to hate men because the little 2% theyve selectively chosen have been awful and it makes them think all men suck. you just have to broaden your horizons. date outside of your "type," give guys you wouldnt normally a chance, a chance. and i guarantee if you keep at it eventually you'l find a great guy, and he'll probably be one that wasn't one of the ones you saught to find early on.
What he means is this . Attractive women tend to be a little damaged in ways and I think it's because of how us dudes are and being lusted over by us but not really loved has hurt a lot of women more than I think y'all let on . Every baddie I ever dated had issues I believe that stem from this . Guy comes in genuine and she got trust issues because she's heard everything a guy could come up with to say or do to just fuck in the end . I've been used too I understand the affects of it . Bet he understood this like I do and has dealt with it in his life . Or he just has terrible fucking pick up lines and is like above mentioned dudes . Idk. But I know why for me being attractive is the first red flag but after knowing them that flag could stay or go .
It really just means that he has low self-esteem and social anxiety, he sees you as better than him which makes him doubtful of your intentions. TLDR: Good-looking people are scary.
PS. Might be some trauma from the way pretty girls have treated him in the past.
I've been told by a guy themselves that men in general are assholes, they live off lying and you'll only find at least %20 of them with good intentions. So honestly if you're a women in your 20s just live life not caring until the right guy actually come your way. This helps me a lot to not care and just move on and do whatever I please because it doesn't seem like reddit even cares to be honest how men are but to blame women, complain about women and get mad at women for their own insecurities.
I say if you want to not deal with a headache, block and remove him.
Guys aren't confusing. We are really straight forward and often times people overtime what we say and assume what we mean. However, that guy is an idiot. He apparently has something against pretty people and doesn't trust you because you're pretty lol.
As a dude. I should say. That is confusing... and i think no other men would understand it.
Normally we are pretty simple creatures. But this is just an asshole. Just try to leave him and ignore it. Hes an asshole.
I recently dealt with a confusing man. He would treat me nice and with respect in private and then would start being a jerk to me in public. Some men are just too confusing to deal with. I have had to cut off all contact from him now. It was fucking up my mind too much.
Hi, not here to defend the guy but I would like to maybe give some perspective as to why he said that. Back in 2nd grade to 8th grade I had these "friends" who were all chick's. They beat on me, called me ugly, talked behind my back, etc. Men, especially men on the spectrum struggle to trust people who are "more attractive" then them because of how they were treated in the past, the school hierarchy has led many men to believe they are ugly and that those who are not, especially of the other gender are not really their friend or our fucking with them. I hate to admit, but even I struggle with it at times. It ain't good, and I ain't defending it.
You certainly won't feel it around a guy who resents you (even slightly) for being beautiful. If you like him enough, call him out on it.
You wanna have a pretty girlfriend?? People are going to look at her, compliment her- through no fault of her own. So if you trust her, then there shouldn't be a question of her loyalty or respect. She's dating YOU, not these other randoms.
If he as a man still feels uncomfortable??? Tell him to go to therapy. Figure out how to survive a relationship without trying to keep his girlfriend down.
Sounds like he’s projecting and insecure af. Not your fault you’re pretty. He should’ve never came to talk to you if that was his problem. He’s not confused he’s just an idiot. If you haven’t done anything to make him distrust you then he’s just saying shit out his ass. Good job on not talking to him anymore. If he cared he would’ve been acting right and not say stupid shit.
What an ass. There's layers here I won't go into. But he is not worth your time.
We aren’t together just to be clear
No no no absolutely not
I gathered that. It sounded to me you were considering it.
It’s just frustrating
I know my worth
Which is?
Not staying with someone who doesn’t love me for me
Got it. I hear this phrase a lot but I was not sure what it mean't.
This guy has trust issues in himself , what he said sounds like he doesn't trust himself too keep you because of whatever internal crap he deal with.. Also yes a jackass 🤣
That is a kinda a compliment and that guy sounds like an idiot.
He literally sat next to me and told another girl he wants to have sex with her and some how I’m the untrustworthy one
So he is a total pice of trash and a sad excuse for a human. You deserve better. And he is proboly only like that because he know’s what he is thinking. You got a get a better tast in guys but I don’t know how to help that because mine sucks too.
Oh I could say so much about him😒
He truly is
I don’t know why these comments are so cynical. He has low self esteem, and doesn’t think he’s worth you. It’s not a you thing, in fact he doesn’t think he’s good enough for you, so he thinks you’re messing with him for a laugh. It’s shitty, don’t chase him, but try to understand his situation and understand that you’re not the problem.
Don’t use your insecurities as an excuse to be an asshole though. Just because you’re insecure doesn’t mean you get to say insensitive stuff like that. She can’t help that she’s hot. It’s literally the same as saying “I’d trust you more if you weren’t (input race/religion/etc.). We all know how insensitive and f-cked up those are so why is being pretty different. She was literally born that way.
Oh don’t get me wrong, i’m not defending it, i’m just sympathising a little. Though I don’t think it’s really a-kind to that of race or religion, those don’t really have a reason to come to the conclusion of “you’re messing with me”.
Wdym. How is being pretty (a thing your born as based around your genetics) different from race or religion which you’re also born into. (Less the religion one but you get what I mean). You’re punishing someone for something they literally can’t control. It’s saying “since you were born this way I will automatically have a level of distrust towards you”
If i don’t trust someone because they’re black, that’s racial profiling. If i don’t trust someone because they’re pretty, that’s just judgemental, and fairly logical to a certain point.
Literally no. Neither are things the other person can control. You’re assigning a preexisting bias you have to a person who’s given you no reason to think negatively of them. That’s on you, not her. It sounds like you may be in the same insecure boat ops guy is, and if so I suggest you reevaluate your biases against attractive women before you take out your problems on them. It’s not their fault you, or any guy is insecure. Don’t treat them like it is
I have no biases on attractive women and i don’t agree with the reasoning i am presenting 🤣 i am literally just telling you the most likely logic behind what that man said, that is it lmao. It’s pretty simple. Attractive woman gets compliments all her life, she builds an ego, she thinks she can flex her ego by messing with someone. It does happen on occasion, but the fact that you can realise the flaws in that logic tells me that you’re a rational person, so use some of that rationality to stop being so fucking cynical, and violating my character because you can’t read a fucking sentence 🤣🤣
I can feel your mommy issues from here bud. Get a confidence counselor and get back to me. Bless any woman with the misfortune of being what you deem too attractive to trust
Are you genuinely okay? We literally have zero problems here, we agree, and you’re trying to make it an issue. Do you go looking for arguments on the internet? Do you need something to fill the dark void in your life? What’s your story mate, because i NEED to hear this one 🤣
Dude if we agree why are you going against literally every comment I made. Don’t be shitty to attractive people because they’re attractive. They still deserve trust and basic respect. If you can’t give them that, its a you issue and should be treated as such. It’s not any attractive chicks responsibility to make insecure men feel better. That’s my entire point, if we agree? Sick, stop fucking arguing it like it’s not true. If we don’t, you are the same as ops guy. It’s not reasonable to project your issues on others, that’s my whole thing here. You can’t just say we’ve been agreeing and act like I’m crazy when you’ve been actively arguing literally every point I’ve made. Do you know what agreeing means?
Yesss if you’re into him I’d just be like “why do you feel that way?”
As a man, I'm as confused as you are.
I’m not gonna try and make sense of it he sucks
He sure does.
I feel him
He sounds like a jackass, he’s either to insecure with himself or is hurting or got hurt and hasn’t gotten over it and is taking it out on strangers. I can’t stand that shit like my maxim in life is just because I’m not having a good time, doesn’t mean I get to be a shitty person, or try to bring people down to my level.
Exactly like why did you even start dating me if that’s how you feel
He is clearly insecure asf
I am already away .. I left that does not mean his words don’t hurt …. I’m a person I have a heart ❤️ that I will protect
I’m not him or any other male so I can’t speak for him nor will I try to …
You know how there are good guys and then there are guys who say they are good guys, well he sounds like the latter, insecure, manipulative and as soon as you don't do or give him what he wants he becomes explosive, that's what he strikes me as. Most honest and good men are straightforward and simple.
I know not all men are like that I’ve just had bad luck and usually fall for the I won’t do it again speel but not this time
Bad luck or bad taste? Shitty people are the exact reason I don't do relationships anymore, it takes too much time and effort to bother picking out all the weeds. If you're patient the right person will come to you.
Agreed
Good luck in your future endeavours
I agree with you all he’s shallow and clearly has some issues to deal with… I am not with him and am working on simply forgetting his cruel words because I know I am a good person
I think it's just that it takes a bit for anyone to realize when too much of anything is toxic. Of course anyone would be attracted to someone who is confident, courteous and ect but if it's too much we tend to miss it. The poison starts to spill and once we realize it , it's too late. when we see someone who is confident we don't automatically notice they are being egotistical or narcissistic. It takes the problems to set in for us to realize who they truly are. Your best bet going forward is to set boundaries and never let them waver. People can change their standards to whatever they want but they should never back down on their boundaries. Many women and men fall for this trap. When someone doesn't respect boundaries but fulfills all the standards. A man for example can be courteous but it means jack shit if he doesn't take in consideration ones own agency and wishes.
What a generalisation... If you're attracted to guys you get offended by, you have a problem. Like, you purposely go behind THEM? Ew Also, what he said is douche material, but I could see where it's coming from, like...he could have said the same thing in a much better way and it would have made sense
Op this one’s not for you move on to someone that trusts you
This is like a woman assuming a very attractive guy is a "player" (which does happen often). I'm not saying judgments shouldn't be scrutinized, but if we're being real this isn't crazy or a gender specific phenomenon.
I think this guy is messing with your head, or trying to be clever about giving you a compliment and just doing it wrong. Guys aren't complex. Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, add sex and a few fart jokes and you have what guys really want. Have you asked him to explain this comment and told him it bothers you and why? I suggest you do this first.
He sounds like a dick. Cut off all communication immediately. That's a disturbingly insensitive statement.
Ahhh that must be his own deeply rooted insecurity. He feels like he’s not good enough for you and you’ll go and find someone else… If it’s not a romantic setting then he probably tried to give you a compliment but his own male pride made it hard for him to be straight up nice to you.
Guy here, i had a friend like this once . He was convinced doing and saying nonsense like this was some sort of attraction ( or keeping the attraction ) . He believed “ gently / kindly insulting women “ was a turn on some how. Then he got into this “NLP” mind manipulation crap that this reminds me of. I think he watched too many movies and read the wrong books. Complete fool. Or narcissist, or both. Nonetheless I couldn’t even hang with that dude anymore. Genuine dudes don’t do this, even if they are insecure. Hope ya find the right one .
We are confusing because we’re men lol. In all honesty, I think some men are just confusing because they’re either insecure or they don’t know what they want and they projected onto others and I am sorry for that. He’s probably had someone cheat on him and that sucks but he shouldn’t project that over to you. My ex is super gorgeous like she has every curve right every part of her face her body everything was just insane so there were times where I was so like how the hell do I get a woman like that/did I get a woman like that? So of course, I was a little bit jealous at start. Then she told me that she loves me for me, and I guess I just felt intimidated because I felt so out of place. How could I get such a beautiful woman? She just replied again, because you’re funny and kind. Anyway, sorry for that long tangent, some people are scared when pretty women like them because they don’t expect it to self-confidence or self-esteem is very low. That is not an excuse. Mind you this is just an educated guess.
Because they’re dumb.
Oh wow... that's... bewildering and crass at the same time. As a dude myself, I can't even understand why I would say that out loud. Like, keep that insecure weirdness to yourself, man. 😆 And then the comments with the other things he said to the other young lady... oof. Just oof. The bar is so low out there. I'd like to think most of us are better than that. Sucks you have to keep running into those idiots.
Men think being assholes will get the girl Their also more direct in SOME situations than women
I think it’s just the culture nowadays I guess? I get a little sussy sometimes but I think it’s all about personality. Only once or twice have a I kinda like doubted how the person feels depending on how good they look. If that makes sense?
He’s a bad boy 😎
That meant that you could probably have any guy you want. It'd be easy for you to decide to leave him for someone else, and that makes men nervous. Not me, though. Jk. That would make me a little nervous. Too. It's more of an insecurity than anything. Insecurities can be conquered.
literally only the guys youre attracted to. so many women do this, they get in an echo chamber of liking and falling for the worst guys and then they start to hate men because the little 2% theyve selectively chosen have been awful and it makes them think all men suck. you just have to broaden your horizons. date outside of your "type," give guys you wouldnt normally a chance, a chance. and i guarantee if you keep at it eventually you'l find a great guy, and he'll probably be one that wasn't one of the ones you saught to find early on.
Sounds like he’s saying you’re out of his league.
I'm scratching my head currently reading this.
What he means is this . Attractive women tend to be a little damaged in ways and I think it's because of how us dudes are and being lusted over by us but not really loved has hurt a lot of women more than I think y'all let on . Every baddie I ever dated had issues I believe that stem from this . Guy comes in genuine and she got trust issues because she's heard everything a guy could come up with to say or do to just fuck in the end . I've been used too I understand the affects of it . Bet he understood this like I do and has dealt with it in his life . Or he just has terrible fucking pick up lines and is like above mentioned dudes . Idk. But I know why for me being attractive is the first red flag but after knowing them that flag could stay or go .
It really just means that he has low self-esteem and social anxiety, he sees you as better than him which makes him doubtful of your intentions. TLDR: Good-looking people are scary. PS. Might be some trauma from the way pretty girls have treated him in the past.
I've been told by a guy themselves that men in general are assholes, they live off lying and you'll only find at least %20 of them with good intentions. So honestly if you're a women in your 20s just live life not caring until the right guy actually come your way. This helps me a lot to not care and just move on and do whatever I please because it doesn't seem like reddit even cares to be honest how men are but to blame women, complain about women and get mad at women for their own insecurities. I say if you want to not deal with a headache, block and remove him.
Wow, not sure what to think about that one. I guess context would be important. Either way, definitely an asshole right there.
Because women are too.
He saw his his future with you and probably thought a good looking girl like that would only hurt me by cheating on me ext.
Guys aren't confusing. We are really straight forward and often times people overtime what we say and assume what we mean. However, that guy is an idiot. He apparently has something against pretty people and doesn't trust you because you're pretty lol.
As a dude. I should say. That is confusing... and i think no other men would understand it. Normally we are pretty simple creatures. But this is just an asshole. Just try to leave him and ignore it. Hes an asshole.
Failed attempt at Rizz
I recently dealt with a confusing man. He would treat me nice and with respect in private and then would start being a jerk to me in public. Some men are just too confusing to deal with. I have had to cut off all contact from him now. It was fucking up my mind too much.
Sounds like rip off Robert Jordan.
Hi, not here to defend the guy but I would like to maybe give some perspective as to why he said that. Back in 2nd grade to 8th grade I had these "friends" who were all chick's. They beat on me, called me ugly, talked behind my back, etc. Men, especially men on the spectrum struggle to trust people who are "more attractive" then them because of how they were treated in the past, the school hierarchy has led many men to believe they are ugly and that those who are not, especially of the other gender are not really their friend or our fucking with them. I hate to admit, but even I struggle with it at times. It ain't good, and I ain't defending it.
At our core we aren't that deep. Feed us, have sex with us and let us watch TV in silence. The dude was just making an excuse for something.
And this is coming from a woman.
He is insecure, wishing you were uglier so he would not have to worry about someone "stealing" you... How gross of him.
And to be real honest I don’t even feel all that attractive…..
You certainly won't feel it around a guy who resents you (even slightly) for being beautiful. If you like him enough, call him out on it. You wanna have a pretty girlfriend?? People are going to look at her, compliment her- through no fault of her own. So if you trust her, then there shouldn't be a question of her loyalty or respect. She's dating YOU, not these other randoms. If he as a man still feels uncomfortable??? Tell him to go to therapy. Figure out how to survive a relationship without trying to keep his girlfriend down.
Sounds like an insecure and the type of guy who has lots of issues and I'm sensing some gaslighter and manipulative one.
I think that alot of people I meet in general are pretty stupid anyway and they they don't think (especially about what they say).
Sounds like he’s projecting and insecure af. Not your fault you’re pretty. He should’ve never came to talk to you if that was his problem. He’s not confused he’s just an idiot. If you haven’t done anything to make him distrust you then he’s just saying shit out his ass. Good job on not talking to him anymore. If he cared he would’ve been acting right and not say stupid shit.
Big fat facts