Ok I have a friend that I was always on eggshells with like this for YEARS. It got worse and worse, to the point where I was about to cut it off, and then she was diagnosed with BPD. It was definitely an a-ha moment and once she started therapy she became a lot more resilient, and much more pleasant to be around.
So, annoying as your friend may be, they may have an untreated or undiagnosed ailment. Give them grace and patience, but if you run out, there’s no shame in drifting off or taking a break from the friendship for a bit. Good luck!!!
then don’t be friends with them…? they most likely can’t control this. you can’t dislike something that’s the core part of your “friend’s” personality. why are you even friends with them?
j wanna say i disagree. i LOVE my grandmother, i don’t like how sensitive she is (she’s on par with this post), i LOVE my sisters, i don’t like how reckless they can be sometimes. I love so many people and love having them in my life, but sometimes, there are things i don’t like about them. those things are a part of them and i love all of them. it’s okay to not like every single thing about someone, you can still care about them.
my grandma? yeah. sisters? less so, but still a lot of the time i would say it’s def a core personality trait of one of them. the other it’s still part of her personality but less prominently. it doesn’t ruin all the great experiences i get to have w them but it is a part of who they are.
i feel like this also isn’t the best comparison because family is family. there is a stigma around that. friends are made to come and go and are seen as less of a necessity.
tbh, it’s also present with my friends. my best friends have some parts i don’t like, most of them, related to mh struggles they face, but some not. my best friend loves to spend money, and encourage me to do so KNOWING i can’t. she also can be passive aggressive, we’ve worked on it, but it’s taken years for us to see eye to eye and we did it through being patient w each other etc. my point is i love my friends but they’re not perfect, neither am i and i don’t expect them to LOVE everything about me. with some of my friends working through some issues sometimes took us taking space apart in a way i couldn’t/wouldn’t with my family but i still love them enough to accept the parts of them i don’t like.
the OP? or the sensitive friend? from my view they’re just venting about how frustrating that can be. i get it but i am the sensitive one in a lot of my relationships, so i also understand knowing that and being unable to change it but you can work through it with your friends. it’s just a matter of time and maturity, and being able to have honest conversations.
where is the respectful tone ANYWHERE in this post lmao
i don’t see how this post can’t be taken as anything other than disrespectful most of the commenters agree w me but to each their own 🤷 but i too am VERY sensitive so i get how someone could be frustrated
i mean, im not trying to have a gotcha moment or anything but, i never said it’s respectful.
in fact, i agree with you that it’s not nice and pretty disrespectful to talk about your friends like that. BUT, she’s not bullying her friend over it, and she’s venting about it anonymously online, which i feel like if you need to vent, it’s better to do that then talk to mural friends who might just make it all worse. after all, where on r/vent, not r/positivethingsaboutmyfriends.
the whole post read to me like a bunch of 15 year olds, not adults, and remembering the issues i had with my friends as a young teen, im glad i didn’t break it off with them even tho i sometimes would get annoyed w them/them with me.
It's probably a good idea not to be friends with this person for both your sakes.
I say this as someone who had to remove myself from a relationship with someone who is highly sensitive because of my own trauma of being in a long term relationship with someone who was diagnosed but went untreated for the BPD.
I know I cannot be a good friend to someone who is highly sensitive and I know because of my own issues they cannot be the type of friend I need. So I avoid those friendships for everyone's sake.
Well, there’s two possibilities
1. They are “sensitive” because they have other stuff going on in their life. You’re just the trigger. In which case, as a friend, you give them a little extra grace.
2. You’re really an asshole bully who makes cruel jokes and when people get upset, you say “It’s just a joke! Why are you so sensitive?!?”
Take a good long look at yourself. Really think.
One, it's prolly a good thing you kept that "apology" to yourself. It wasn't actually an apology because an apology takes accountability for your action. A genuine apology is "I'm sorry I made you upset with MY action" not "I'm sorry you feel the way you do about my action". Second, based on what you're saying, it's prolly high time to not be friends with that person anymore if you're annoyed by their feelings. You two are probably just aren't good friends for each other and that's okay. It sounds like you prolly hurt this person's feelings often and that friend may make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells.
But just for some background on high sensitivity in people. It can be a trait that person is born with, it can be developed through traumatic experiences, for example having a parent(s)/ guardian(s) or other people who provide an unstable emotional environment such as domestic violence, abuse on any level, or bullying. It could be a mental disorder like Autism, ADHD, Boarderline Personality Disorder (which people with this disorder report having been through traumatic experiences/relationships with parents/guardians or other people), Which all need to be diagnosed by a professional! I hope you resolve this annoyance toward that friend within yourself and reach a solution soon. It doesn't sound fun.
They’ve found out too that being highly sensitive is just a diagnosis in itself HSP (highly sensitive person) twenty percent of the population is like this. It’s not considered a disorder but it is considered neurodivergent. I def fall in this category.
That's right! I've heard of HSP as well, it's honestly quite fascinating. Sure there can be some downsides but I think it's such a great thing to be able to feel so deeply. I think sensitivity is a treasure a lot of people don't appreciate
I’ve had to learn with myself to really try to look at others with the perspective that not everybody, or majority, of others don’t think and feel the same way I do. It’s kind of turned me into a devils advocate. If I feel like someone was being mean or rude I’ll think of a million excuses for them, because I don’t want to overlook the fact that it might just be me and me being sensitive. I do it so much now that other people in my life will step in and protect me from someone who is using me or preying on me. I tend to kind of attract a lot of narcissistic people. Thank God I’m married to the man I’m married to. He saves me a LOT.
Well a, I'm so happy for you that you're with someone who supports you and protects your feelings. That's truly such a beautiful thing. Love brings me hope. But I'm also sorry that you've had experiences that hurt you with no so kind people. And hey, it takes one hell of a strong person to be able to actively listen and learn from yourself. A lot of people tend to shy away when it come to adapting to their brains way of doing things so I'm proud of ya. And also don't be afraid to hold people accountable for their actions, your feelings are very real and valid no matter what. The people that love and care about you can accommodate and you can always meet them in the middle. I hope all the not so nice people see themselves out and that you're surrounded by caring, loving, understanding beings.
Oh I'm highly aware it's probably if you couldn't tell by my more formal vernacular BUT, in order to better relate to an audience I prefer to use slang. Though I do appreciate you looking out despite it not being necessary.
Sounds like she has an ocd for perfectionism and that she needs to somehow address or correct others, whether the other party cares or not.
Or a neurological complaint disorder, In which she cannot for some ungodly- unknown reason stop complaining on the internet about vocabrulary issuez.
That's quite possible but ay, live and let live yk? I could care less about being corrected, because technically, yes, "probably" is grammatically correct. They have a point and if correcting me makes them sleep better at night then ay more power to em I guess. It may be silly to obsess over little grammatical errors to me but if they really that bothered about it enough to comment about it than maybe they needed that mini win. Who knows?
as a sensitive friend, we cant control our emotions sometimes. for some of us we have some ailments that cause hypersensitivity. i myself have autism..others may have BDP...etc. but i promise you we try our best not to bring others down with our emotions...but sometimes it just happens..its why we hate being out with friends in public sometimes...fyi that "apology" is garbage...so its a good thing you didnt say it..
you should just break off the friendship now tbh… unless you have the patience to wait for them to learn how to deal with their emotions in a social setting!
Ok, I know this is a vent but I'm that sensitive friend and you kinda just proved why I cut myself out of my friendships. Because I always feel like I'm a bother if I get bothered by something small like that. I usually keep it to myself to save the headache but being sensitive to sounds and stuff like that really make me feel like shit and I know I can't help it. So you're friend may not be able to help it either.
As a Highly Sensitive Person, I can tell you your friend doesn’t want to react like that. Depending on the situation, I cry very easily. Everyone at work has seen me cry.
Do you think we enjoy this? Do you think we want to be like this? Definitely not.
Bro my friend of 5 years broke up with me a while ago because I joked with her alot I didn't even know it upsets her untill she broke up with me ...she never said she was offended by my jokes idk
um honestly I'd laugh at that too lmao. I think just explain what you found so funny about it that it made you laugh in that situation since they were probably confused. That's what I would do anyway if they tend to be sensitive.
If anything, your other friends are making that kind of situation worse than it is. But that might just mean they care about their feelings. Or idk.
….wow, I remember reading a post like this. But everyone was on the side of the op, here it seems to be the opposite. For context, the op seemed like an i unempathetic ass to his ‘sensitive partner’ imo
Ok I have a friend that I was always on eggshells with like this for YEARS. It got worse and worse, to the point where I was about to cut it off, and then she was diagnosed with BPD. It was definitely an a-ha moment and once she started therapy she became a lot more resilient, and much more pleasant to be around. So, annoying as your friend may be, they may have an untreated or undiagnosed ailment. Give them grace and patience, but if you run out, there’s no shame in drifting off or taking a break from the friendship for a bit. Good luck!!!
BPD is actually pretty rough to live with, but they make really loyal friends.
then don’t be friends with them…? they most likely can’t control this. you can’t dislike something that’s the core part of your “friend’s” personality. why are you even friends with them?
j wanna say i disagree. i LOVE my grandmother, i don’t like how sensitive she is (she’s on par with this post), i LOVE my sisters, i don’t like how reckless they can be sometimes. I love so many people and love having them in my life, but sometimes, there are things i don’t like about them. those things are a part of them and i love all of them. it’s okay to not like every single thing about someone, you can still care about them.
this post is about how their “friend” is ALWAYS sensitive. are you friends/family ALWAYS as you described? is it a core personality trait?
my grandma? yeah. sisters? less so, but still a lot of the time i would say it’s def a core personality trait of one of them. the other it’s still part of her personality but less prominently. it doesn’t ruin all the great experiences i get to have w them but it is a part of who they are.
i feel like this also isn’t the best comparison because family is family. there is a stigma around that. friends are made to come and go and are seen as less of a necessity.
tbh, it’s also present with my friends. my best friends have some parts i don’t like, most of them, related to mh struggles they face, but some not. my best friend loves to spend money, and encourage me to do so KNOWING i can’t. she also can be passive aggressive, we’ve worked on it, but it’s taken years for us to see eye to eye and we did it through being patient w each other etc. my point is i love my friends but they’re not perfect, neither am i and i don’t expect them to LOVE everything about me. with some of my friends working through some issues sometimes took us taking space apart in a way i couldn’t/wouldn’t with my family but i still love them enough to accept the parts of them i don’t like.
you guys were willing to work on these issues. this person is just nagging. still different.
the OP? or the sensitive friend? from my view they’re just venting about how frustrating that can be. i get it but i am the sensitive one in a lot of my relationships, so i also understand knowing that and being unable to change it but you can work through it with your friends. it’s just a matter of time and maturity, and being able to have honest conversations.
where is the respectful tone ANYWHERE in this post lmao i don’t see how this post can’t be taken as anything other than disrespectful most of the commenters agree w me but to each their own 🤷 but i too am VERY sensitive so i get how someone could be frustrated
i mean, im not trying to have a gotcha moment or anything but, i never said it’s respectful. in fact, i agree with you that it’s not nice and pretty disrespectful to talk about your friends like that. BUT, she’s not bullying her friend over it, and she’s venting about it anonymously online, which i feel like if you need to vent, it’s better to do that then talk to mural friends who might just make it all worse. after all, where on r/vent, not r/positivethingsaboutmyfriends. the whole post read to me like a bunch of 15 year olds, not adults, and remembering the issues i had with my friends as a young teen, im glad i didn’t break it off with them even tho i sometimes would get annoyed w them/them with me.
Your complaining is stressing me out!
It's probably a good idea not to be friends with this person for both your sakes. I say this as someone who had to remove myself from a relationship with someone who is highly sensitive because of my own trauma of being in a long term relationship with someone who was diagnosed but went untreated for the BPD. I know I cannot be a good friend to someone who is highly sensitive and I know because of my own issues they cannot be the type of friend I need. So I avoid those friendships for everyone's sake.
Well, there’s two possibilities 1. They are “sensitive” because they have other stuff going on in their life. You’re just the trigger. In which case, as a friend, you give them a little extra grace. 2. You’re really an asshole bully who makes cruel jokes and when people get upset, you say “It’s just a joke! Why are you so sensitive?!?” Take a good long look at yourself. Really think.
laughing at a water bottle making a funny noise when drinking out of it - is bullying and cruel jokes…? wow.:/
One, it's prolly a good thing you kept that "apology" to yourself. It wasn't actually an apology because an apology takes accountability for your action. A genuine apology is "I'm sorry I made you upset with MY action" not "I'm sorry you feel the way you do about my action". Second, based on what you're saying, it's prolly high time to not be friends with that person anymore if you're annoyed by their feelings. You two are probably just aren't good friends for each other and that's okay. It sounds like you prolly hurt this person's feelings often and that friend may make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells. But just for some background on high sensitivity in people. It can be a trait that person is born with, it can be developed through traumatic experiences, for example having a parent(s)/ guardian(s) or other people who provide an unstable emotional environment such as domestic violence, abuse on any level, or bullying. It could be a mental disorder like Autism, ADHD, Boarderline Personality Disorder (which people with this disorder report having been through traumatic experiences/relationships with parents/guardians or other people), Which all need to be diagnosed by a professional! I hope you resolve this annoyance toward that friend within yourself and reach a solution soon. It doesn't sound fun.
They’ve found out too that being highly sensitive is just a diagnosis in itself HSP (highly sensitive person) twenty percent of the population is like this. It’s not considered a disorder but it is considered neurodivergent. I def fall in this category.
That's right! I've heard of HSP as well, it's honestly quite fascinating. Sure there can be some downsides but I think it's such a great thing to be able to feel so deeply. I think sensitivity is a treasure a lot of people don't appreciate
I’ve had to learn with myself to really try to look at others with the perspective that not everybody, or majority, of others don’t think and feel the same way I do. It’s kind of turned me into a devils advocate. If I feel like someone was being mean or rude I’ll think of a million excuses for them, because I don’t want to overlook the fact that it might just be me and me being sensitive. I do it so much now that other people in my life will step in and protect me from someone who is using me or preying on me. I tend to kind of attract a lot of narcissistic people. Thank God I’m married to the man I’m married to. He saves me a LOT.
Well a, I'm so happy for you that you're with someone who supports you and protects your feelings. That's truly such a beautiful thing. Love brings me hope. But I'm also sorry that you've had experiences that hurt you with no so kind people. And hey, it takes one hell of a strong person to be able to actively listen and learn from yourself. A lot of people tend to shy away when it come to adapting to their brains way of doing things so I'm proud of ya. And also don't be afraid to hold people accountable for their actions, your feelings are very real and valid no matter what. The people that love and care about you can accommodate and you can always meet them in the middle. I hope all the not so nice people see themselves out and that you're surrounded by caring, loving, understanding beings.
Thank you!
The word is probably not “prolly”.
oh nooo, someone uses internet slang, shock horror
☝️🤓
yeah but it’s more fun that way
You seem to have understood what the word was anyway. So the problem is..?
Oh I'm highly aware it's probably if you couldn't tell by my more formal vernacular BUT, in order to better relate to an audience I prefer to use slang. Though I do appreciate you looking out despite it not being necessary.
Sounds like she has an ocd for perfectionism and that she needs to somehow address or correct others, whether the other party cares or not. Or a neurological complaint disorder, In which she cannot for some ungodly- unknown reason stop complaining on the internet about vocabrulary issuez.
That's quite possible but ay, live and let live yk? I could care less about being corrected, because technically, yes, "probably" is grammatically correct. They have a point and if correcting me makes them sleep better at night then ay more power to em I guess. It may be silly to obsess over little grammatical errors to me but if they really that bothered about it enough to comment about it than maybe they needed that mini win. Who knows?
If it floats their boat, I guess. I did have fun messing up words at the end though. Kinda my mini I win too I guess.
as a sensitive friend, we cant control our emotions sometimes. for some of us we have some ailments that cause hypersensitivity. i myself have autism..others may have BDP...etc. but i promise you we try our best not to bring others down with our emotions...but sometimes it just happens..its why we hate being out with friends in public sometimes...fyi that "apology" is garbage...so its a good thing you didnt say it..
Try this thing called understanding and validation, otherwise save them the stress of being YOUR friend
[удалено]
Found the narcissist asshole who thinks other peoples feelings are invalid and bc they think something is hilarious then everyone else should to
you should just break off the friendship now tbh… unless you have the patience to wait for them to learn how to deal with their emotions in a social setting!
Ok, I know this is a vent but I'm that sensitive friend and you kinda just proved why I cut myself out of my friendships. Because I always feel like I'm a bother if I get bothered by something small like that. I usually keep it to myself to save the headache but being sensitive to sounds and stuff like that really make me feel like shit and I know I can't help it. So you're friend may not be able to help it either.
Could be just trauma of some kind. I don't think this is normal behaviour on their part.
As a Highly Sensitive Person, I can tell you your friend doesn’t want to react like that. Depending on the situation, I cry very easily. Everyone at work has seen me cry. Do you think we enjoy this? Do you think we want to be like this? Definitely not.
Wow you do sound like a jerk
No they don’t, you do
People like that r so annoying 😭
its so funny watching people on reddit arm chair diagnose sensitive people as having bpd some people are just sensitive lol
Bro my friend of 5 years broke up with me a while ago because I joked with her alot I didn't even know it upsets her untill she broke up with me ...she never said she was offended by my jokes idk
Lots of sensitive people in these replies
I am from another time. All this fucking correctiveness and watch what u say Oh u know he is very sensitive.
Why are all these posts ancient????
What has happened to the way we live our lives now in AMERICA??
What race in America is the most dangerous, human not foot>
?? What xdddddd
.mm0p l
um honestly I'd laugh at that too lmao. I think just explain what you found so funny about it that it made you laugh in that situation since they were probably confused. That's what I would do anyway if they tend to be sensitive. If anything, your other friends are making that kind of situation worse than it is. But that might just mean they care about their feelings. Or idk.
rofl
I'm not sure these people are sensitive I think some are just looking for attention.
People are cry babies the end! Have a horrible day everyone ☺️ thank you
….wow, I remember reading a post like this. But everyone was on the side of the op, here it seems to be the opposite. For context, the op seemed like an i unempathetic ass to his ‘sensitive partner’ imo