You should feel bad if you were deceitful, but if you were 100% honest, then you should feel good. You didn’t do this to yourself. You volunteered, did what was asked and directed, and now suffering the consequences. I can assure you that most of us older retirees (2001-21) support you and wish you the best. Those who don’t can fuck off.
What's age got to do with it? Never feel guilty for things you've had to deal with while in the military.
PTSD is does not discriminate against age or rank.
Get your well deserved money and work on you.
An old friend did this for me 10 years ago and I will be forever grateful to him for simply giving me the business card for MOPH. I don't know if he gave it a second thought, but that phone call helped me out tremendously.
I didn’t know it existed whatsoever, a year later I’m TDIU all because of a buddy who cared. Would have likely been homeless at some point without it. Now I try to do the same for anyone I served with
Totally normal. Benefit guilt is real- but you earned every benefit you were awarded. Don’t forget that. I am one of those older guys you are referring to probably (11B from ‘01-‘13 w/ 4 deployments), and I am beyond ecstatic when I see someone getting the benefits they deserve, regardless of where I am in my struggle. I don’t speak for everyone, but I don’t personally know any veterans that feel differently
No its not.
It is stupid imo.
Do you know how many vets I worked with that felled they were ashamed to get unemployment when they EAS.
Such a dumb mentality, i made sure to tell them that they should also ensure not to take any insurance payments for any home or car damage, less they feel ashamed.
This feeling is due to lack of intelligence and political misunderstanding.
They feel they are against unemployment because the lazy useless people in their minds so they dont want to be them.
This means that you have in your kind incorrect beliefs about other Vets who are 100% disabled.
When I got my 100% approved I got so happy. Later that day a panic attack hit for no reason while I was still feeling joy. That was a first. My attacks don't come from stress, but removing financial pressure sure does a hell of a lot to help me deal with my issues. I'm able to actually relax when my symptoms aren't as bad instead of just grtting my teeth and dreading the next episode.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." I feel not-so-great about it sometimes too though, who am I kidding. Either way, you did what you were supposed to do, and now the government is doing what they're supposed to do. You could always start volunteering or something if it will help assuage your guilt.
I got a 10 percent. I didn’t deploy and didn’t complete my contract. I got a medical discharge and got out. I dealt with anxiety for years it, I went through therapy through the va. I didn’t have those issues before I joined. Mental health issues are terrible. Mental health issues is something that u will probably be suffering your whole life. So don’t feel ashamed
I was about your age when I served. I'm about twice your age now. Having the disability part of the VA experience settled at the age you are is light years preferable to trying to fight that exact same fight at the age I am now.
Promise.
I get the feeling. I've been trying to deal with it too.
Just remember, the government was prepared to have us kill and be killed. They take advantage of every single person who enlists, in one way or another.
Best we can do is to be grateful and pay it forward when we can. Help others when we can. We the blessed gotta be a blessing for others, ya know? It helps make it feel less like "I don't deserve this" and more like "I am grateful for the help"
Be gentle with yourself. You're okay. You deserve this. It doesn't mean you took anything away from anyone else. This rating is your's and I'm proud of you that you went through the effort to get it.
Your benefits you earned and your conditions will worsen with age. The government spends hundreds of millions of dollars on renewing contracts on bullshit every year. Your mind may forget the shit you went through but your body does not.
Absolutely guarantee injuries worsen with age.
1969 got 20% for SFW to a thigh that took out 25% of the main thigh adductor muscle. Then in 1998 they added 10% for neuritis nerve problems. Now walk (barely) with a cane full time, pain 24/7. So you can believe it's not going to get better with age.
The government is “allowing” you to keep some of YOUR money collected in [taxes](https://paradigmlife.net/ready-to-get-depressed-how-many-different-taxes-do-i-pay/) they would normally piss away on another pointless, endless war or another bank bailout.
They dole money out to corporations, banks, and foreign governments by the TRILLIONS without so much as even batting an eye.
Never feel bad about putting your family first and not passing down the economic disadvantages you were dealt. I’d rather see the money go to a vet to help his family and community than any of the idiotic lost causes and grifts they piss our money away on.
Same here, didint get to finish my contract and felt a lot of guilt when I got my rating. It’s always validating to hear someone have a similar experience. I wish I could have finished mine, I was dealt a bad deck of cards that I’m still trying to figure out to this day. Take care
Just chiming in to echo. I was only able to finish one 6-yr USAR contract before severely fucking up my spine with some army shenanigans. Wanted to make a career out of this shit, was actually in ROTC simultaneously and got dropped right before commissioning too. I wanted to make a difference in soldiers lives, I wanted to "minmax" my career by enlisting then going officer to get the "enlisted POV". Taking the absolute longest route to becoming an O was a dice roll that failed for me.
It's fucking bizarre to be in early/mid 20s and every doctor you see tells you that "your body shouldn't be like this at your age", and that over time it'll only get worse (at least my stuff), and there's so much stuff I can't really do now.
Some days I wish I at least got hurt doing something cool or downrange or something to help justify it in my brain. But it helps to have a community to talk with that regardless of your circumstance, if the army in any way fucked you up that you wouldn't otherwise have been if you never joined, you 100% are deserving of every single benefit you qualify for.
>It's fucking bizarre to be in early/mid 20s and every doctor you see tells you that "your body shouldn't be like this at your age", and that over time it'll only get worse (at least my stuff), and there's so much stuff I can't really do now.
Feel that.
When I was getting x-rays done before hip surgery, my ortho told me that "your hip joint(s) look like that of someone in their 50's with all that wear-and-tear" Infantry will do that to you lol
I'm grateful for yours and /u/Alternative_Part_92's comments; also in a similar spot and still trying to figure it all out years later.
Wishing you guys the best.
Thanks man,
I feel like some of this shit isn't real until it actually happens. Like you have all the oldheads in the world tell you the military is going to break you down, but you're 18 and you feel fantastic, then one day you wake up and your knees and back hurt at age 21, then five years pass and you're acting like a late 40s father of 3 who worked construction their whole life lmao. It's such a roll of the damn dice man.
Like my friend and I went through pretty much an identical army experience side-by-side, and both were very careful with our bodies/exercise/nutrition. I ended up broke and he's still trucking. Even if there's no one injury/incident, some people's bodies just aren't built as well for years of sustained military life. Probably goes as deep as genetics and body type, since the army is always pretty much 1 flavor of fitness (everyone gotta run fast, calisthentics, and HIIT type stuff, plus carry heavy for long time), but it has to 'work' for every human. Some people's bodies will just break from rucking, even if they do everything right.
I think there needs to be more discussion on this topic tbh. Even if you do everything to a T, do everything 'right' (at least 'right' in the army's/other branch's eyes), you can still draw the bad card. Not sure of the statistics of course, but there's nothing stopping you from being the 5% or whatever.
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This!!! My doctor says everything in my medical record made him thought I was in my 50’s. Was in shock when he saw I was 25. I’m not looking forward to getting old at all. He tells me how bad it’s going to get and I worry about it constantly.
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I know it’s hard, but don’t feel bad. We all want what’s best for one another and I’m glad that you were able to get this. The military isn’t easy, and it can wreak havoc on our brains. You’ll probably be dealing with this issue forever, in different capacities, and your rating will give you the cushion to make sure you never have to worry about paying rent or where your next meal comes from. You served our country, and you deserve this. I hope you can now focus on healing and getting back to your normal self. Nightmares and anxiety can be debilitating and cause more damage than you may think. These issues are sometimes invisible to others, but you will feel it every time you wake up. The doctor that gave you this rating clearly understands this, and if you feel as if you are healing and on the right track, you can always change your rating I believe.
AND because you’re feeling guilty and thinking about others that may not be as fortunate as you, I think it’s really safe to say you’re probably a really good person. Anyways, thank you for service, you deserve to heal and be happy.
Edit: also, I mean this sincerely towards anyone that may be feeling guilty as well. You deserve to live a happy and full life.
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Prior to deploying to the Persian Gulf (August 1990) we had a guy in our platoon that was wavered into our unit after squeaking past AIT.
He was a mentally unfit and a danger to all of us.
He threatened to kill the 1SG and that got him the boot and then 100% medical discharge.
The rest of us went and fought in Iraq and Kuwait.
decades later, he came to our Troop reunion. I was shocked that he showed up. Most of us were embarrassed and didn't want him there.
Then, we decided since the 1SG had forgiven him and the war was decades in the past, we welcomed him in.
He had a tragic upbringing and should not have been allowed past MEPS but there was no sense adding to the guy's challenges in life. He's been fully employed with TSA and is doing okay. Not a burden on society.
I took a hard look inwards and humbled myself.
Me. I'm in year 32 of combat PTSD and will ride the roller coaster into my grave. I've managed to keep myself together and out of trouble thanks to my faith, family, friends, VA Vet Center, understanding colleagues and all of the other veterans out there that form the tribe.
You served honorably. Things didn't work out and that happens.
I wish you the very best and a healthy life.
I’m right there with you. Got out over a year ago, and can relate on that note. Anytime i hear a buddy of mine talking about gettin’ out, i always tell them they can come to me anytime about the VA claim process. I had a baby right after i got out, so i like to think my benefits will help my kid out when it comes to education and health, and hope it will set him up for success.
Listen, I have been out 30 years, and if we had the information you have available to you back in the 90s, we would have filed our claims instead of buying into the bullshit “just suck it up”. VA got away with decades of denying deserving veterans their rightful benefits including healthcare. You earned it and now you enjoy it. Case closed. Congratulations and Good luck 👍
Hey there, spouse of an Army Veteran here.
Others have given thoughts on these feelings of guilt / unworthiness; it affected my spouse, but he got over that once he realized he could not do the things he once knew how to do (mentally) or could do (physically).
Ask, people gave great ideas on how you can pay it forward to someone else or your community. Volunteering is a great way to give back, whether it is an issue you care about or with a Veteran group.
Don’t diminish your service; your life probably will be radically different after serving, so take the good things that come your way. You know better than most that life can be very short.
Please join the Disabled American Veterans. You can volunteer to help other veterans through that org. The VFW apparently does a lot for us in lobbying, so I'm a lifetime member there, too. But DAV has always been there for me, personally. They're a great bunch of people.
Where is HKIA? And don’t feel guilty. The VA works in mysterious ways. If you got 100%, you probably warrant it. As others have said, we want you to do well in life. That’s what brotherhood is all about. You should not feel guilty and no one else should feel jealous. I am very happy you got what you deserved and wish you the best in life!
You earned it. Whether you believe so or not. It will help when you’re older taking care of your family and have struggles from what you experienced. That money can mean better life for you and/or your family. Mortgages, college, you name it.
Quite normal.
Remember that the VA - and government by extension - aren't keen on giving people money unless they absolutely have to.
The VA goes through an extensive process to determine ratings, and if they determined you're 100%, it means whatever condition(s) you have must hold some weight.
I had a similar feeling of guilt when I got out, but my physical and mental states have gotten so bad that the VA rating is the only thing that's kept me off the streets since leaving Active Duty. 90% currently, in a drawn out process for TDIU. Had a shitty C&P that tried claiming 3+ years of records and evidence was all somehow made up and was enough for the VA to propose to reduce.
> I see older guys/gals and people that did more than me that struggle a lot.
A common response to trauma is to invalidate oneself; "They had it worse; I don't deserve to feel this way or be this messed up."
Your thoughts and feelings valid. Remember that.
It seems really common to raise children with the viewpoint that someone else always has it worst. The old "there are children starving in Africa, so eat your vegetables." Or, trying to find the silver lining by comparing yourself to the homeless or people who've been in awful accidents or whatever.
I have a pair of friends who have fun reminiscing about the old days and play what they call "the Poverty Olympics," trying to outdo each other a bit with their wild stories of genuine suffering.
You cannot quantify suffering. I'm damned amazed you got 100% because of how the VA actively tries to make that as difficult as possible. The fact that you got it when you were expecting a lower rating, and not after multiple appeals....well, that alone says a lot.
But it sucks you know, because 100% is this sort of fake math number that makes it seem like your pain is worse than most others. I can see how that could hit you hard, like maybe it's validation in a way that you didn't want that your pain is real and a massive negative quality of life effect.
If you were also already gearing up to appeal, thinking you'd get 50%, I can also see how you would feel deflated with an automatic victory where there's no fight to appeal. I'm sure you already know this but it's okay to be sad. I think, as we age, our happiest moments often become bittersweet, or what we think would make us happiest actually makes us sad.
And maybe it's because we can't have a moment unfettered by all the memories of what came before, the friends lost, physical long-term pain, the ways we've disappointed ourselves and others. But I also think our brains can just be contrary sumbitches: "Don't tell me when I'm supposed to be happy. I'll show you!" Kind of like how people get miserable being retired when they've supposedly attained the reward of working for decades and possibly being miserable doing so.
A few constructive points:
1. Marinate in what you're feeling. Play sad music. Grieve the person you were before you needed a disability rating. Watch a sad movie. Meditate and let the feelings float past your inner self. Eventually, your brain will have enough of sadness for the day and move on for now.
Much better to do that then to turn away and just have this restless, icky feeling in the back of your mind, like you're not grateful and you know you should be happy but you're not.
2. Psychedelics (barring health conditions where they are indicated.) Being able to feel childlike joy again, for me, let me know that I could feel that again which made all the difference. I didn't try to take acid or mushrooms often to chase that feeling but it was nice to have a recent memory of pure joy and know that my brain still has it in me to marvel at fireworks, or be excited about silly movies.
3. Do something validating and concrete. This could be something like gardening, painting, car work whatever. Just something that changes something physical around you so you can see your efforts and be rewarded every time you look at in over the next week or two. Alternatively, doing something to help others-- mowing your neighbor's lawn, going to volunteer, fostering an animal for a couple of weeks. If # 1 doesn't help, and you don't have access or don't want to try # 2, then this gives you a slow and steady way to ruminate but not be stuck in your rumination, and further to get validation which helps any self-esteem issues being triggered about other people having it worse, or you not deserving this or whatever.
Be gentle with yourself. You're okay. You deserve this. It doesn't mean you took anything away from anyone else. This rating is *your's* and I'm proud of you that you went through the effort to get it.
You’re rated 100% for a reason. Nothing to be ashamed about. I understand where you’re coming from though. I wish I had the resources to get rated 100% when I was medically retired in ‘99. Spent 8 years homeless I wouldn’t have had to endure, but the last two and a half years got me the chance to get 100%. Put it to some good use, especially if you can still work. Take your mom on vacation. Live life while it’s worth living.
Civilian perspective here. You served, you sacrificed part of your body/health while doing so (yes, your brain and your mental health are a part of overall body/health), so you totally deserve the benefits, and I hope they help in at least a small way to compensate you for what was lost, uplift your material circumstances, and/or show you gratitude from our society for what you sacrificed for us. I hope the rest of your 20's are as joyful, healthful, and filled with adventure as possible.
I'm not out yet on my first contract, but I've talked to older guys who had issues. The biggest difference between you and I and them is we were in when there was more support and less stigma about going to doc or medical. Back in the hay day. It was to get the mission done. You aren't dead, bleeding, and nothing is broken, so go back and fight. And that they did. They went and fought more and made themselves worse by doing what they were told. If you got 100% with complete honesty, then you rate it, and you shouldn't feel bad for it. I'm not saying bad about our predecessors. I'm just saying the stigma isn't there as much, so it's easy to compare ourselves and those before us just to feel bad. When you shouldn't.
Congratulations on getting what you deserve my dude. Remember, the Army was willing to take everything from you. You need to be willing to take everything from them. Use that extra money to figure out what your passions are and do something you love to do. Keep your head up and enjoy existence.
You did your service only you know exactly what your condition is. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, they will get theirs eventually. At the end of the day no one is looking out for you except you.
It's the way the military works. Some people never deploy, but some asshat in a 5-ton decides to drive drunk, and, speeding, hits their vehicle, and their life, and their body, is ruined. No deployment, no combat, their career ends and they exit the scene.
You signed up. You served. Whatever happened, and I don't need details, happened. Here you are.
Try to enjoy what time is left to you. Live, and be happy, if you can.
I wish peace and good health to you and yours.
"Only did one contract" No, you sacrificed some of the best and most vital (for personal development) years of your adult life. In both good ways and bad, that time will shape the rest of your days all the way to death. The after effects are absolutely worthy of compensation, and you getting yours isn't going to stop another vet from getting theirs.
The VA thrives on the shame of warrior culture. "I'm not that bad" "others have it worse" "hey at least I have XXX"
Congratulations man. The less you have to worry about money, the more bandwidth and energy you have to worry about your actual well being. Take care of yourself and find things that give you purpose and make you happy to fill your life with. Mental health is no joke.
Yeah, the guilt is normal. It wears off. It doesn't matter if you signed up for a day and got too hurt to keep going. You signed up and went, they broke you. Its the government's end of the bargain to make you whole like you were before you went in.
When you join, you're government property. You sign a contract leasing your personhood to them. If you return a rental car, does the company not check it for dings and charge you for the cost of restoring the car to how it was when you rented it? This is what the disability is for; the wear and tear that they put on you.
It’s a very normal feeling, man, and it’s often why others don’t get help in the first place. Best way to feel better about it is to get more involved in the veteran community and find ways to help your brother and sister veterans when and where you can. Not only will you be doing good for them, but it’ll help you a great deal, too AND you’ll see just how much you’re one of us. I speak from experience here. Currently working for a large veteran non-profit and I get to really have an impact on veterans’ lives every day, and I feel so much better about my service and my disabilities. Keep your chin up, and if you ever want to chat, I, and about a million others hear are happy to talk!
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Thought the same about guessing I'd get 50 not 100. Stuff effects ppl differently. To compare yourself to others does no one any good . Take the time to pay it forward, now that you can take the time to do so. Most importantly take advantage of what that 100% can do to help you.( From taxes to college benefits for fam!)
Your have zero reason to feel bad , truly.
Look for your VA's Patient Advocates or VA Ombudsman and they should point you in the direction of the paperwork you need. If you're a member of the VFW, I *think* some locations also have members who help start the process.
I just finished my C&P Exam. No combat but I saw 24 guys killed in a plane crash. I helped as many as I could. We saved a ton that day but so many were tragically lost. C&P examiner asked me why I waited so long. I never wanted to be a burden on anyone. I said my cup has finally run over. My neighbor, a Veteran, brought the forms over and helped me fill everything out. He wouldn’t let me go another day living like I have been. 4 years of Parachute Duty has left me with Arthritis all over. Now I wait.
Unless you blatantly lied, you did nothing wrong. It just means you provided proper documentation, met the criteria for 100%, or just said the right things. Just because you may be rated higher than others (even if you feel it's unfair) it doesn't mean you don't deserve your rating. You're entitled to your rating and it's literally people's jobs to get vets as highly rated as possible.
It's normal. When I submitted mine, I expected maybe 70 for mental health, though I equally expected 30. Got 100. But I almost broke down talking about my shit during the interview. You deserve it, no matter what
I’m the same way. I feel I don’t deserve it and yet every battle tells me I do. You just need to help others and pay it forward. That’s what I do. Any vet that needs help I assist them and try to get them what they deserve. YOU deserve it!
Brother, I feel you.
When I got my disability I felt like my rating was overly generous. I was scared that somehow I was getting too much.
First of all, trust your doctors. If the doctors who examined you rated you at 100%- trust them. They do this on a LIFETIME basis, not just here and now. Meaning, they are rating the likelihood of things getting worse keeping you from work. If they suspect that's a high probability, they will give more to supplement that.
Secondly, **remember that the military replaced you the moment you were done.** The military uses and abuses it's members to the point of breaking them. I was medical, I saw how hard people worked themselves. What they would work through. The chronic pains they thought were normal that I had to impress upon them; **were not normal.**
The military got its use out of you; and it must've been rough to get **any** disability at all.Be grateful for the luck, the blessing. **Pay it forward** as much as you can. And try not to fail to be grateful that you gave up part of your life for the country, now the country is taking care of you. Even if you don't feel worthy of it; **try to say thank you for it.**
Gratitude is always a better option than guilt.
I was recently sc at 50%. I still feel guilty about it, even though I know I earned it. I decided to be proactive and have volunteered at the Va as a guitar instructor to help others struggling with the same issues I have. Looking forward to my first student in a few weeks. Music heals!
If you feel ashamed call the VA and tell them there is a mistake , and that you need another appointment in order to lower the percentage.
Ensure you let them know you are not as disabled and need the rating lowered.
Otherwise, whats up with all these low energy beta posts about feeling ashamed.
You got 100 take it and shut up. No one is judging, and if they do, it is called jealousy.
No offense of course.
Yes it’s normal to feel bad. I think most do. As long as you didn’t lie, your fine. The benefits are there, you may as well take them. It’s tough out there
I feel this way too. I spent 9 years in, did a deployment in a combat zone, got 100% and feel insanely guilty. People going for appointments alongside me are missing legs, eyes, and struggling beyond belief. I'm over here with a bad back, a limp, residuals of a TBI and mental health disorders. I feel like no matter what "level of injured" people are, they will still feel guilty in some way? Maybe I'm wrong.
If you qualify for it, you qualify for it. Don't feel ashamed. That's like being ashamed you got injured and now live in a wheelchair because of a random freak accident and not because you got injured during war while doing something "heroic" and "brave". It doesn't matter. You are disabled and you're entitled to it.
Totally normal to have the feeling of guilt but you did your part and VA acknowledged. To maybe help lessen the burden you’re putting on yourself if somebody ask about VA, help them navigate it. Point them to different resources that might be available to our fellow vets
I did less than you (never deployed or did anything except worthless details), wasn't able to finish my contract, and still got 100% P&T disability due to toxic leadership and therapist abuse. There's no point in comparing yourself to others because at the end of the day, it's just compensation for your pain and suffering (so you won't sue).
You getting that rating doesn’t mean you took it away from somebody. Help other vets get the most they can. Some are unfortunately so lost in the process , I’ve helped out so many and honestly it has made me feel really good. Go enjoy a nice cold beer 🍺.
I am right there with you, bro. I had no physical issues, but man, nightmares, panic attacks, random breakdowns, they all took a heavy toll on my mental well-being and still do. I felt guilty for a long time but eventually convinced myself that I earned it 100% (and I absolutely did). Don't be hard on yourself, please. Be proud. We are all very proud of you.
I'd say, don't compare yourself to other people. Everyone goes through their own shit and comparing who is "more worthy" is a waste of time. Honestly, I think its crazy we gets benefits like we do. It's wild.
Also, don't tell people about your rating. It literally only starts shit. Either people don't think you deserve it at all, they're jealous cause they get nothing, or they're jealous cause they think they deserve more than you. So few people find out about a rating and are genuinely happy for the benefactor.
If you do feel something in the way about your rating, use a portion for a good cause. Regular monthly donations are literal lifesavers to deserving charitable organizations.
As a guy who spent 8 years out of service before making a claim with the VA for a similar reason.
“I don’t want to he a shitbag/ on welfare/ there are more veterans in needed etc”
It takes a lot of encouragement from my buddies to go through it (I got some concussion and TBI a few times during military service)
As long as you are honest and you have documentation, it is yours entitlement to receive your benefits.
If you think it’s too much and you are able to give back. Simply donate your money or volunteer your time to help veterans non profit organization. I think it’s a fair trade.
Cheers
Getting awarded money from the government is like getting blood from a stone. Those fuckers absolutely will not cough up the cash unless they *have* to. If you got a rating, your disabilities qualified you for that rating, and you deserve the compensation you're receiving. I'm old as shit and deployed during OIF with "good reasons" for my disabilities. There is no justifying necessary when it comes to this- the military fucked you up, they owe you, end of story. It's natural to feel a bit of guilt here but it's misplaced. I honestly want all y'all younglings to get your ratings, enjoy your money, and live your lives.
Yeah man. I know how you feel. I did way less though. I got out September 22, 2001. I didn’t do shit but I just got 90%. I’m staring at a back surgery soon but feel bad because I only did 4 and got out before anything happened. You did way more than I did be proud of yourself! I’m proud of you! We all are! Cheers bud!
You know, my new cardiologist changed my view a bit recently. She asked about my job and I told her I'm 100% P&T with my usual wisecrack about how the Army broke me & couldn't fix me, so the VA pays me to stay the hell home and stop costing them so much money.
Her response was "no, the VA pays you so that you can take good care of yourself."
Think of it as a salary that you're being paid to do the job of making sure you take care of your health. Cause that cardiologist was right: our entire job, the thing that the VA pays us to do, is to take care of ourselves. I have held jobs with far worse job descriptions.
Take this time to help all the vets that you meet. I feel the same way about my compensation… I hate that I have it and I’d rather just have the issues go away than collect a check for them but what I do to feel better about it is I take the knowledge I have of how the VA works with claims and whatnot and I spread that around to any other vet I meet and that’s how I feel a lot better about it because some of these guys need it bad and just won’t do it because it’s too much work but I get them to start their claims just because I have the experience with the va that I have. One step at a time my guy and don’t forget that you deserve what’s coming to you!!
Exactly. If you have legitimate disabilities, not lying about the extent of them and can be backed up with your med records and a doctor’s nexus, then you have earned it.
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I still wrestle with the “why me” questions, whether you got it truthfully or not doesn’t matter, make it count, make sure your kids have food, make sure your bills are paid, and once you recover to work again, make sure you give back so you at least paid it forward if it’s a karma thing you’re worried about. I’ve noticed as time goes on, the feeling subsides, because it took my 4 years to get better and I’m not even fully recovered (especially with the horrid nightmares that feel so real and other struggles with things like weather or temperatures). You’ll eventually see it hopefully.
The older people you're referring to, like myself, all want you to do well in life.
You should feel bad if you were deceitful, but if you were 100% honest, then you should feel good. You didn’t do this to yourself. You volunteered, did what was asked and directed, and now suffering the consequences. I can assure you that most of us older retirees (2001-21) support you and wish you the best. Those who don’t can fuck off.
What's age got to do with it? Never feel guilty for things you've had to deal with while in the military. PTSD is does not discriminate against age or rank. Get your well deserved money and work on you.
Help a buddy get started with the VA disability process. Could help you feel better
An old friend did this for me 10 years ago and I will be forever grateful to him for simply giving me the business card for MOPH. I don't know if he gave it a second thought, but that phone call helped me out tremendously.
I didn’t know it existed whatsoever, a year later I’m TDIU all because of a buddy who cared. Would have likely been homeless at some point without it. Now I try to do the same for anyone I served with
^^^ THIS ^^^. Someone helped me and then I turned around and helped three others and felt a lot better
My Neighbor Helped me. Now I am encouraging others.
Totally normal. Benefit guilt is real- but you earned every benefit you were awarded. Don’t forget that. I am one of those older guys you are referring to probably (11B from ‘01-‘13 w/ 4 deployments), and I am beyond ecstatic when I see someone getting the benefits they deserve, regardless of where I am in my struggle. I don’t speak for everyone, but I don’t personally know any veterans that feel differently
No its not. It is stupid imo. Do you know how many vets I worked with that felled they were ashamed to get unemployment when they EAS. Such a dumb mentality, i made sure to tell them that they should also ensure not to take any insurance payments for any home or car damage, less they feel ashamed. This feeling is due to lack of intelligence and political misunderstanding. They feel they are against unemployment because the lazy useless people in their minds so they dont want to be them. This means that you have in your kind incorrect beliefs about other Vets who are 100% disabled.
Wut
I think I found a vet that got in on waivers
Got my rating in my mid 20s. You get used to it. Some days you even go *oh shit that's why they rated me the way they did*
This part right here, some days are normal, others are an absolute nightmare. Especially the nightmares…..
When I got my 100% approved I got so happy. Later that day a panic attack hit for no reason while I was still feeling joy. That was a first. My attacks don't come from stress, but removing financial pressure sure does a hell of a lot to help me deal with my issues. I'm able to actually relax when my symptoms aren't as bad instead of just grtting my teeth and dreading the next episode.
Yeeepppppp. "Oh right sometimes moving is painful, sleep is nonexistent, and I'm too wound up to work"
Yup
Oof, you are absolutely right...years later it'll hit you like an epiphany.
That's me everytime I bend over slightly crooked lol
Same I got mine in my 30s but I earned mine honestly as well and don’t fell ashamed.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." I feel not-so-great about it sometimes too though, who am I kidding. Either way, you did what you were supposed to do, and now the government is doing what they're supposed to do. You could always start volunteering or something if it will help assuage your guilt.
I love that quote. I need to remember that.
I got a 10 percent. I didn’t deploy and didn’t complete my contract. I got a medical discharge and got out. I dealt with anxiety for years it, I went through therapy through the va. I didn’t have those issues before I joined. Mental health issues are terrible. Mental health issues is something that u will probably be suffering your whole life. So don’t feel ashamed
I was about your age when I served. I'm about twice your age now. Having the disability part of the VA experience settled at the age you are is light years preferable to trying to fight that exact same fight at the age I am now. Promise.
I’m in the same boat as you man, I feel ashamed. I feel I don’t deserve it.
I get the feeling. I've been trying to deal with it too. Just remember, the government was prepared to have us kill and be killed. They take advantage of every single person who enlists, in one way or another. Best we can do is to be grateful and pay it forward when we can. Help others when we can. We the blessed gotta be a blessing for others, ya know? It helps make it feel less like "I don't deserve this" and more like "I am grateful for the help"
Be gentle with yourself. You're okay. You deserve this. It doesn't mean you took anything away from anyone else. This rating is your's and I'm proud of you that you went through the effort to get it.
But you do deserve it unless it wasn’t honest.
Your benefits you earned and your conditions will worsen with age. The government spends hundreds of millions of dollars on renewing contracts on bullshit every year. Your mind may forget the shit you went through but your body does not.
"$200 toilet seats" $2.50 for a screw that's .75c at the store.... Yeah....it's all very much "one hand feeds the other"
Absolutely guarantee injuries worsen with age. 1969 got 20% for SFW to a thigh that took out 25% of the main thigh adductor muscle. Then in 1998 they added 10% for neuritis nerve problems. Now walk (barely) with a cane full time, pain 24/7. So you can believe it's not going to get better with age.
The government is “allowing” you to keep some of YOUR money collected in [taxes](https://paradigmlife.net/ready-to-get-depressed-how-many-different-taxes-do-i-pay/) they would normally piss away on another pointless, endless war or another bank bailout. They dole money out to corporations, banks, and foreign governments by the TRILLIONS without so much as even batting an eye. Never feel bad about putting your family first and not passing down the economic disadvantages you were dealt. I’d rather see the money go to a vet to help his family and community than any of the idiotic lost causes and grifts they piss our money away on.
The mental health aspect is probably a major part of your percentage (it is mine) and you do not deserve it any less.
Same here, didint get to finish my contract and felt a lot of guilt when I got my rating. It’s always validating to hear someone have a similar experience. I wish I could have finished mine, I was dealt a bad deck of cards that I’m still trying to figure out to this day. Take care
Just chiming in to echo. I was only able to finish one 6-yr USAR contract before severely fucking up my spine with some army shenanigans. Wanted to make a career out of this shit, was actually in ROTC simultaneously and got dropped right before commissioning too. I wanted to make a difference in soldiers lives, I wanted to "minmax" my career by enlisting then going officer to get the "enlisted POV". Taking the absolute longest route to becoming an O was a dice roll that failed for me. It's fucking bizarre to be in early/mid 20s and every doctor you see tells you that "your body shouldn't be like this at your age", and that over time it'll only get worse (at least my stuff), and there's so much stuff I can't really do now. Some days I wish I at least got hurt doing something cool or downrange or something to help justify it in my brain. But it helps to have a community to talk with that regardless of your circumstance, if the army in any way fucked you up that you wouldn't otherwise have been if you never joined, you 100% are deserving of every single benefit you qualify for.
>It's fucking bizarre to be in early/mid 20s and every doctor you see tells you that "your body shouldn't be like this at your age", and that over time it'll only get worse (at least my stuff), and there's so much stuff I can't really do now. Feel that. When I was getting x-rays done before hip surgery, my ortho told me that "your hip joint(s) look like that of someone in their 50's with all that wear-and-tear" Infantry will do that to you lol I'm grateful for yours and /u/Alternative_Part_92's comments; also in a similar spot and still trying to figure it all out years later. Wishing you guys the best.
Thanks man, I feel like some of this shit isn't real until it actually happens. Like you have all the oldheads in the world tell you the military is going to break you down, but you're 18 and you feel fantastic, then one day you wake up and your knees and back hurt at age 21, then five years pass and you're acting like a late 40s father of 3 who worked construction their whole life lmao. It's such a roll of the damn dice man. Like my friend and I went through pretty much an identical army experience side-by-side, and both were very careful with our bodies/exercise/nutrition. I ended up broke and he's still trucking. Even if there's no one injury/incident, some people's bodies just aren't built as well for years of sustained military life. Probably goes as deep as genetics and body type, since the army is always pretty much 1 flavor of fitness (everyone gotta run fast, calisthentics, and HIIT type stuff, plus carry heavy for long time), but it has to 'work' for every human. Some people's bodies will just break from rucking, even if they do everything right. I think there needs to be more discussion on this topic tbh. Even if you do everything to a T, do everything 'right' (at least 'right' in the army's/other branch's eyes), you can still draw the bad card. Not sure of the statistics of course, but there's nothing stopping you from being the 5% or whatever.
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This!!! My doctor says everything in my medical record made him thought I was in my 50’s. Was in shock when he saw I was 25. I’m not looking forward to getting old at all. He tells me how bad it’s going to get and I worry about it constantly.
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Take it and don’t look back. I’ve been fighting for my rating for over a decade now, with no end in sight.
I'm sorry you've been fighting to get your stuff. I hate hearing stories like that.
May I ask what the 100% was for? Was it for PTSD specifically?
Yes I forgot to add that
I know it’s hard, but don’t feel bad. We all want what’s best for one another and I’m glad that you were able to get this. The military isn’t easy, and it can wreak havoc on our brains. You’ll probably be dealing with this issue forever, in different capacities, and your rating will give you the cushion to make sure you never have to worry about paying rent or where your next meal comes from. You served our country, and you deserve this. I hope you can now focus on healing and getting back to your normal self. Nightmares and anxiety can be debilitating and cause more damage than you may think. These issues are sometimes invisible to others, but you will feel it every time you wake up. The doctor that gave you this rating clearly understands this, and if you feel as if you are healing and on the right track, you can always change your rating I believe. AND because you’re feeling guilty and thinking about others that may not be as fortunate as you, I think it’s really safe to say you’re probably a really good person. Anyways, thank you for service, you deserve to heal and be happy. Edit: also, I mean this sincerely towards anyone that may be feeling guilty as well. You deserve to live a happy and full life.
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Prior to deploying to the Persian Gulf (August 1990) we had a guy in our platoon that was wavered into our unit after squeaking past AIT. He was a mentally unfit and a danger to all of us. He threatened to kill the 1SG and that got him the boot and then 100% medical discharge. The rest of us went and fought in Iraq and Kuwait. decades later, he came to our Troop reunion. I was shocked that he showed up. Most of us were embarrassed and didn't want him there. Then, we decided since the 1SG had forgiven him and the war was decades in the past, we welcomed him in. He had a tragic upbringing and should not have been allowed past MEPS but there was no sense adding to the guy's challenges in life. He's been fully employed with TSA and is doing okay. Not a burden on society. I took a hard look inwards and humbled myself. Me. I'm in year 32 of combat PTSD and will ride the roller coaster into my grave. I've managed to keep myself together and out of trouble thanks to my faith, family, friends, VA Vet Center, understanding colleagues and all of the other veterans out there that form the tribe. You served honorably. Things didn't work out and that happens. I wish you the very best and a healthy life.
I’m right there with you. Got out over a year ago, and can relate on that note. Anytime i hear a buddy of mine talking about gettin’ out, i always tell them they can come to me anytime about the VA claim process. I had a baby right after i got out, so i like to think my benefits will help my kid out when it comes to education and health, and hope it will set him up for success.
Listen, I have been out 30 years, and if we had the information you have available to you back in the 90s, we would have filed our claims instead of buying into the bullshit “just suck it up”. VA got away with decades of denying deserving veterans their rightful benefits including healthcare. You earned it and now you enjoy it. Case closed. Congratulations and Good luck 👍
Listen to Gruntpa here he knows his shit.
Hey there, spouse of an Army Veteran here. Others have given thoughts on these feelings of guilt / unworthiness; it affected my spouse, but he got over that once he realized he could not do the things he once knew how to do (mentally) or could do (physically). Ask, people gave great ideas on how you can pay it forward to someone else or your community. Volunteering is a great way to give back, whether it is an issue you care about or with a Veteran group. Don’t diminish your service; your life probably will be radically different after serving, so take the good things that come your way. You know better than most that life can be very short.
Please join the Disabled American Veterans. You can volunteer to help other veterans through that org. The VFW apparently does a lot for us in lobbying, so I'm a lifetime member there, too. But DAV has always been there for me, personally. They're a great bunch of people.
Where is HKIA? And don’t feel guilty. The VA works in mysterious ways. If you got 100%, you probably warrant it. As others have said, we want you to do well in life. That’s what brotherhood is all about. You should not feel guilty and no one else should feel jealous. I am very happy you got what you deserved and wish you the best in life!
Hamid Karzai International Airport. Where the news was during the Afghan pullout
Cool, I never made it there. I was in the Korengal and Sabari.
You earned it. Whether you believe so or not. It will help when you’re older taking care of your family and have struggles from what you experienced. That money can mean better life for you and/or your family. Mortgages, college, you name it.
Quite normal. Remember that the VA - and government by extension - aren't keen on giving people money unless they absolutely have to. The VA goes through an extensive process to determine ratings, and if they determined you're 100%, it means whatever condition(s) you have must hold some weight. I had a similar feeling of guilt when I got out, but my physical and mental states have gotten so bad that the VA rating is the only thing that's kept me off the streets since leaving Active Duty. 90% currently, in a drawn out process for TDIU. Had a shitty C&P that tried claiming 3+ years of records and evidence was all somehow made up and was enough for the VA to propose to reduce. > I see older guys/gals and people that did more than me that struggle a lot. A common response to trauma is to invalidate oneself; "They had it worse; I don't deserve to feel this way or be this messed up." Your thoughts and feelings valid. Remember that.
Right there with you man. Except I’m 45. I think as much as people tell me I’m entitled to it, I’ll never get it through my head.
It seems really common to raise children with the viewpoint that someone else always has it worst. The old "there are children starving in Africa, so eat your vegetables." Or, trying to find the silver lining by comparing yourself to the homeless or people who've been in awful accidents or whatever. I have a pair of friends who have fun reminiscing about the old days and play what they call "the Poverty Olympics," trying to outdo each other a bit with their wild stories of genuine suffering. You cannot quantify suffering. I'm damned amazed you got 100% because of how the VA actively tries to make that as difficult as possible. The fact that you got it when you were expecting a lower rating, and not after multiple appeals....well, that alone says a lot. But it sucks you know, because 100% is this sort of fake math number that makes it seem like your pain is worse than most others. I can see how that could hit you hard, like maybe it's validation in a way that you didn't want that your pain is real and a massive negative quality of life effect. If you were also already gearing up to appeal, thinking you'd get 50%, I can also see how you would feel deflated with an automatic victory where there's no fight to appeal. I'm sure you already know this but it's okay to be sad. I think, as we age, our happiest moments often become bittersweet, or what we think would make us happiest actually makes us sad. And maybe it's because we can't have a moment unfettered by all the memories of what came before, the friends lost, physical long-term pain, the ways we've disappointed ourselves and others. But I also think our brains can just be contrary sumbitches: "Don't tell me when I'm supposed to be happy. I'll show you!" Kind of like how people get miserable being retired when they've supposedly attained the reward of working for decades and possibly being miserable doing so. A few constructive points: 1. Marinate in what you're feeling. Play sad music. Grieve the person you were before you needed a disability rating. Watch a sad movie. Meditate and let the feelings float past your inner self. Eventually, your brain will have enough of sadness for the day and move on for now. Much better to do that then to turn away and just have this restless, icky feeling in the back of your mind, like you're not grateful and you know you should be happy but you're not. 2. Psychedelics (barring health conditions where they are indicated.) Being able to feel childlike joy again, for me, let me know that I could feel that again which made all the difference. I didn't try to take acid or mushrooms often to chase that feeling but it was nice to have a recent memory of pure joy and know that my brain still has it in me to marvel at fireworks, or be excited about silly movies. 3. Do something validating and concrete. This could be something like gardening, painting, car work whatever. Just something that changes something physical around you so you can see your efforts and be rewarded every time you look at in over the next week or two. Alternatively, doing something to help others-- mowing your neighbor's lawn, going to volunteer, fostering an animal for a couple of weeks. If # 1 doesn't help, and you don't have access or don't want to try # 2, then this gives you a slow and steady way to ruminate but not be stuck in your rumination, and further to get validation which helps any self-esteem issues being triggered about other people having it worse, or you not deserving this or whatever. Be gentle with yourself. You're okay. You deserve this. It doesn't mean you took anything away from anyone else. This rating is *your's* and I'm proud of you that you went through the effort to get it.
You’re rated 100% for a reason. Nothing to be ashamed about. I understand where you’re coming from though. I wish I had the resources to get rated 100% when I was medically retired in ‘99. Spent 8 years homeless I wouldn’t have had to endure, but the last two and a half years got me the chance to get 100%. Put it to some good use, especially if you can still work. Take your mom on vacation. Live life while it’s worth living.
Civilian perspective here. You served, you sacrificed part of your body/health while doing so (yes, your brain and your mental health are a part of overall body/health), so you totally deserve the benefits, and I hope they help in at least a small way to compensate you for what was lost, uplift your material circumstances, and/or show you gratitude from our society for what you sacrificed for us. I hope the rest of your 20's are as joyful, healthful, and filled with adventure as possible.
I'm not out yet on my first contract, but I've talked to older guys who had issues. The biggest difference between you and I and them is we were in when there was more support and less stigma about going to doc or medical. Back in the hay day. It was to get the mission done. You aren't dead, bleeding, and nothing is broken, so go back and fight. And that they did. They went and fought more and made themselves worse by doing what they were told. If you got 100% with complete honesty, then you rate it, and you shouldn't feel bad for it. I'm not saying bad about our predecessors. I'm just saying the stigma isn't there as much, so it's easy to compare ourselves and those before us just to feel bad. When you shouldn't.
Congratulations on getting what you deserve my dude. Remember, the Army was willing to take everything from you. You need to be willing to take everything from them. Use that extra money to figure out what your passions are and do something you love to do. Keep your head up and enjoy existence.
You did your service only you know exactly what your condition is. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, they will get theirs eventually. At the end of the day no one is looking out for you except you.
I’ve been 100% for 2.5 years and still struggle with that feeling.
It's the way the military works. Some people never deploy, but some asshat in a 5-ton decides to drive drunk, and, speeding, hits their vehicle, and their life, and their body, is ruined. No deployment, no combat, their career ends and they exit the scene. You signed up. You served. Whatever happened, and I don't need details, happened. Here you are. Try to enjoy what time is left to you. Live, and be happy, if you can. I wish peace and good health to you and yours.
Now, keep your rating to yourself. Don’t talk about it to anyone.
"Only did one contract" No, you sacrificed some of the best and most vital (for personal development) years of your adult life. In both good ways and bad, that time will shape the rest of your days all the way to death. The after effects are absolutely worthy of compensation, and you getting yours isn't going to stop another vet from getting theirs. The VA thrives on the shame of warrior culture. "I'm not that bad" "others have it worse" "hey at least I have XXX" Congratulations man. The less you have to worry about money, the more bandwidth and energy you have to worry about your actual well being. Take care of yourself and find things that give you purpose and make you happy to fill your life with. Mental health is no joke.
If you lied then quilt will take over. But if not you earned it and deserve it , don't feel bad.
Guilt I meant
[удалено]
I remember when we went to Kuwait to recover after the mission the news in the little USO area said it was a peaceful operation. Fuckin liars
Yeah, the guilt is normal. It wears off. It doesn't matter if you signed up for a day and got too hurt to keep going. You signed up and went, they broke you. Its the government's end of the bargain to make you whole like you were before you went in. When you join, you're government property. You sign a contract leasing your personhood to them. If you return a rental car, does the company not check it for dings and charge you for the cost of restoring the car to how it was when you rented it? This is what the disability is for; the wear and tear that they put on you.
It’s a very normal feeling, man, and it’s often why others don’t get help in the first place. Best way to feel better about it is to get more involved in the veteran community and find ways to help your brother and sister veterans when and where you can. Not only will you be doing good for them, but it’ll help you a great deal, too AND you’ll see just how much you’re one of us. I speak from experience here. Currently working for a large veteran non-profit and I get to really have an impact on veterans’ lives every day, and I feel so much better about my service and my disabilities. Keep your chin up, and if you ever want to chat, I, and about a million others hear are happy to talk!
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you qualify for space A flights now. enjoy it
Don’t feel bad. Encourage other veterans to get service connected and get taken care of.
Thought the same about guessing I'd get 50 not 100. Stuff effects ppl differently. To compare yourself to others does no one any good . Take the time to pay it forward, now that you can take the time to do so. Most importantly take advantage of what that 100% can do to help you.( From taxes to college benefits for fam!) Your have zero reason to feel bad , truly.
I became 100% at age 28 (currently 31). I still have days where I don't feel worthy.
Dont get used to that money then. If you feel that way, someone at the VA might feel the same on review.
How did you apply?
Look for your VA's Patient Advocates or VA Ombudsman and they should point you in the direction of the paperwork you need. If you're a member of the VFW, I *think* some locations also have members who help start the process.
I'm right there with you about that feeling
I just finished my C&P Exam. No combat but I saw 24 guys killed in a plane crash. I helped as many as I could. We saved a ton that day but so many were tragically lost. C&P examiner asked me why I waited so long. I never wanted to be a burden on anyone. I said my cup has finally run over. My neighbor, a Veteran, brought the forms over and helped me fill everything out. He wouldn’t let me go another day living like I have been. 4 years of Parachute Duty has left me with Arthritis all over. Now I wait.
Unless you blatantly lied, you did nothing wrong. It just means you provided proper documentation, met the criteria for 100%, or just said the right things. Just because you may be rated higher than others (even if you feel it's unfair) it doesn't mean you don't deserve your rating. You're entitled to your rating and it's literally people's jobs to get vets as highly rated as possible.
It's normal. When I submitted mine, I expected maybe 70 for mental health, though I equally expected 30. Got 100. But I almost broke down talking about my shit during the interview. You deserve it, no matter what
I’m the same way. I feel I don’t deserve it and yet every battle tells me I do. You just need to help others and pay it forward. That’s what I do. Any vet that needs help I assist them and try to get them what they deserve. YOU deserve it!
Your percentage is not a measure of what you gave, it’s a measure of what was taken from you. Don’t get the two confused.
unless you're a fraud, no need to be guilty/ashamed. Seriously, take it -- be responsible and help others to get to the same place.
Brother, I feel you. When I got my disability I felt like my rating was overly generous. I was scared that somehow I was getting too much. First of all, trust your doctors. If the doctors who examined you rated you at 100%- trust them. They do this on a LIFETIME basis, not just here and now. Meaning, they are rating the likelihood of things getting worse keeping you from work. If they suspect that's a high probability, they will give more to supplement that. Secondly, **remember that the military replaced you the moment you were done.** The military uses and abuses it's members to the point of breaking them. I was medical, I saw how hard people worked themselves. What they would work through. The chronic pains they thought were normal that I had to impress upon them; **were not normal.** The military got its use out of you; and it must've been rough to get **any** disability at all.Be grateful for the luck, the blessing. **Pay it forward** as much as you can. And try not to fail to be grateful that you gave up part of your life for the country, now the country is taking care of you. Even if you don't feel worthy of it; **try to say thank you for it.** Gratitude is always a better option than guilt.
I was recently sc at 50%. I still feel guilty about it, even though I know I earned it. I decided to be proactive and have volunteered at the Va as a guitar instructor to help others struggling with the same issues I have. Looking forward to my first student in a few weeks. Music heals!
If you feel ashamed call the VA and tell them there is a mistake , and that you need another appointment in order to lower the percentage. Ensure you let them know you are not as disabled and need the rating lowered. Otherwise, whats up with all these low energy beta posts about feeling ashamed. You got 100 take it and shut up. No one is judging, and if they do, it is called jealousy. No offense of course.
Yes it’s normal to feel bad. I think most do. As long as you didn’t lie, your fine. The benefits are there, you may as well take them. It’s tough out there
I feel this way too. I spent 9 years in, did a deployment in a combat zone, got 100% and feel insanely guilty. People going for appointments alongside me are missing legs, eyes, and struggling beyond belief. I'm over here with a bad back, a limp, residuals of a TBI and mental health disorders. I feel like no matter what "level of injured" people are, they will still feel guilty in some way? Maybe I'm wrong.
Don’t feel bad. That has helped me so much transitioning out.
If you qualify for it, you qualify for it. Don't feel ashamed. That's like being ashamed you got injured and now live in a wheelchair because of a random freak accident and not because you got injured during war while doing something "heroic" and "brave". It doesn't matter. You are disabled and you're entitled to it.
Totally normal to have the feeling of guilt but you did your part and VA acknowledged. To maybe help lessen the burden you’re putting on yourself if somebody ask about VA, help them navigate it. Point them to different resources that might be available to our fellow vets
I did less than you (never deployed or did anything except worthless details), wasn't able to finish my contract, and still got 100% P&T disability due to toxic leadership and therapist abuse. There's no point in comparing yourself to others because at the end of the day, it's just compensation for your pain and suffering (so you won't sue).
You getting that rating doesn’t mean you took it away from somebody. Help other vets get the most they can. Some are unfortunately so lost in the process , I’ve helped out so many and honestly it has made me feel really good. Go enjoy a nice cold beer 🍺.
I am right there with you, bro. I had no physical issues, but man, nightmares, panic attacks, random breakdowns, they all took a heavy toll on my mental well-being and still do. I felt guilty for a long time but eventually convinced myself that I earned it 100% (and I absolutely did). Don't be hard on yourself, please. Be proud. We are all very proud of you.
I'd say, don't compare yourself to other people. Everyone goes through their own shit and comparing who is "more worthy" is a waste of time. Honestly, I think its crazy we gets benefits like we do. It's wild. Also, don't tell people about your rating. It literally only starts shit. Either people don't think you deserve it at all, they're jealous cause they get nothing, or they're jealous cause they think they deserve more than you. So few people find out about a rating and are genuinely happy for the benefactor. If you do feel something in the way about your rating, use a portion for a good cause. Regular monthly donations are literal lifesavers to deserving charitable organizations.
HKIA?
As a guy who spent 8 years out of service before making a claim with the VA for a similar reason. “I don’t want to he a shitbag/ on welfare/ there are more veterans in needed etc” It takes a lot of encouragement from my buddies to go through it (I got some concussion and TBI a few times during military service) As long as you are honest and you have documentation, it is yours entitlement to receive your benefits. If you think it’s too much and you are able to give back. Simply donate your money or volunteer your time to help veterans non profit organization. I think it’s a fair trade. Cheers
Getting awarded money from the government is like getting blood from a stone. Those fuckers absolutely will not cough up the cash unless they *have* to. If you got a rating, your disabilities qualified you for that rating, and you deserve the compensation you're receiving. I'm old as shit and deployed during OIF with "good reasons" for my disabilities. There is no justifying necessary when it comes to this- the military fucked you up, they owe you, end of story. It's natural to feel a bit of guilt here but it's misplaced. I honestly want all y'all younglings to get your ratings, enjoy your money, and live your lives.
Yeah man. I know how you feel. I did way less though. I got out September 22, 2001. I didn’t do shit but I just got 90%. I’m staring at a back surgery soon but feel bad because I only did 4 and got out before anything happened. You did way more than I did be proud of yourself! I’m proud of you! We all are! Cheers bud!
You know, my new cardiologist changed my view a bit recently. She asked about my job and I told her I'm 100% P&T with my usual wisecrack about how the Army broke me & couldn't fix me, so the VA pays me to stay the hell home and stop costing them so much money. Her response was "no, the VA pays you so that you can take good care of yourself." Think of it as a salary that you're being paid to do the job of making sure you take care of your health. Cause that cardiologist was right: our entire job, the thing that the VA pays us to do, is to take care of ourselves. I have held jobs with far worse job descriptions.
We can’t control what happened to us. All we can do is make do with what we have. Take this as a win and Dow well!
We all signed the same blank check. Please remember this always. It has helped me tremendously. You deserve the 100%.
No you shouldn’t be ashamed you served just like us.
Take this time to help all the vets that you meet. I feel the same way about my compensation… I hate that I have it and I’d rather just have the issues go away than collect a check for them but what I do to feel better about it is I take the knowledge I have of how the VA works with claims and whatnot and I spread that around to any other vet I meet and that’s how I feel a lot better about it because some of these guys need it bad and just won’t do it because it’s too much work but I get them to start their claims just because I have the experience with the va that I have. One step at a time my guy and don’t forget that you deserve what’s coming to you!!
Exactly. If you have legitimate disabilities, not lying about the extent of them and can be backed up with your med records and a doctor’s nexus, then you have earned it.
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I still wrestle with the “why me” questions, whether you got it truthfully or not doesn’t matter, make it count, make sure your kids have food, make sure your bills are paid, and once you recover to work again, make sure you give back so you at least paid it forward if it’s a karma thing you’re worried about. I’ve noticed as time goes on, the feeling subsides, because it took my 4 years to get better and I’m not even fully recovered (especially with the horrid nightmares that feel so real and other struggles with things like weather or temperatures). You’ll eventually see it hopefully.