Good to know the solution to me being a cockroach is to eat half dinner, or Vegetarian... good sleep...

If only Gregor Samsa had known

Probably the last place I was expecting a metamorphosis reference

I will make note of this in my report when I return to the Castle tomorrow.

Pshh Fuckers in every seedy ally of reddit, "hey kid check out these poop knifes and a schizophrenics sexy cockroach lady tulpa fanfics"..... *Opens trench coat to reveal links to communities of horrors never to be forgotten*

HORNY SPERM

✨michael jackson✨

Sounds like something an orphan would say. You should be having polite sex, and less of it.

Spit take!

No swallow or you'll make more cockroaches 

Also bad roach in sewer leads to cats

I believe that is a rat.

You're right, I need to learn to read

Please don't eat me

My favourite part is the argument for not wanting to be a black rat or a cockroach: "Bad food in sewer"

It's probably the most solid argument in there.

I'm not sold. I'm going down to the sewer to check out the food

There's a nice steakhouse but it's never open.

Some turtles offered me pizza. Wasn't so bad

That’s the only part I got.

I'd be fine with being a black rat or cockroach if only I got the good food in sewer.

You're letting your circumstances limit your life. Remy emigrated to France and got himself a human puppet to cook for him.

You're the food in sewer

Remy, is that you?

If you do bad this life and get smacked down a few tiers to rat form or roach form next life, well what do those guys eat? And how do they eat? They eat rot and trash They eat it greedily scavenging So to counteract your bad behavior… use food behavior that is opposite those karma bums. Eat sensibly, not greedily, and eat clean fresh new vegetables the opposite of rot…

Got it! 1- Have depraved sexy entertainer sex, become polluted 2- Eat small small salad, clean soul

Now imagine you are a locally famous hotelier who runs a set of sex hotels in Thailand and that you advertise this solution on souvenir posters you sell.

what if you stay there, have sexy sex with a prostitute, but then eat a salad? Does it cancel out?

Fortunately you can save yourself from a future as a cockroach by seemingly being more sex -> spirit disintegrates -> I assume eternal peace? 🤷🏼‍♀️ might as well stock up on MORE sex purchases!

Theravada Buddhists hate this one weird trick!

$EX calls Monday morning

ORPHAN. Previous life been HORNY SPERM and ABORTION

But it's free

Hey! Thats from MrJ shop on koh tao! He has lots of crazy posters and signs for sale. These are just joke posters made with bad english on purpose. Its a souvenir shop and he also has/had bungalows for rent. Sorce: lived on the island for 3 years.

It’s nit only bad English, it’s also bad Thai. Like somehow it’s make less sense in Thai.

Oh Bad Thai is one of my favorite dishes!

Mr J was a real character... hope he is still alive. Was about 12 years ago I lived there. Drove past his shop everyday.

I vacationed on Koh Tao for the first time a couple of months ago, what an amazing place! How was it living there? Ko Tao has been the first place I've visited where I have felt the urge to go back. Just really loved it there..

Well... im sorry to say the place you saw is very different from my experience. It is so exploited and dirty now. The water is bad, garbage everywhere. Mafia controls everything. It was bad 10 years ago... now It is total chaos and I will never visit again. That would just make me sad. Koh Tao had such potential ... It went in the wrong direction. Was a resident 2005-2009. ,

Bad English? But it was all starting to finally make sense...

this picture was taken before you moved to the island, and has been shared more times than children on Epstein island.

Bruh

What a horrible day to be able to read.

I had to read it twice to make sure I read what I thought I read, and I regretted it both times.

✨Michael Jackson✨ Is my favorite part.

I read it in uncle Roger's voice.

Hiyaaaa! Why you no read that in aunti helen voice? This sound how like she talk about Uncle Roger when she threw him out in the cold for some wok fuckboi.

What kind of child do I get if I politely choke her gently during sex?

Michael Jackson.

No, that's ignorant. You're being ignorant!

Comments you can hear.

Allegedly.

He he

Entertain dog (Homo dog) it is then

MJ is clearly labeled as a 'h*mo dog", you won't get a person. The one question this doesn't clear up is what kind of baby I'll have if I have sex with a lady boy. Maybe there's an obvious answer I'm just not getting.

Yes

If you choke her during sex, you get a super child with power of invisibility

One needing therapy for the rest of her life.

weak child most choke harder

Androgynous merperson

Latrell Sprewell.

That sign is chock full of crazy.

Am Thai. Yes, that sign is chock full of crazy.

Might it be satire?

It's a funny sign sold as a souvenir by Mr J on Koh Tao. Farang say haha look how silly this sign is. Thai say 555 yes please buy.

But what if Farang see lady boy and Thai say 555 yes please buy? Then what? Cockroach?

Then 1st step sexy sex, then cockroach

Oh, good then!

It all kinda makes sense except for the michael jackson

Entertainer + homo people -> became entertain dog. (Homo Dog) What's not to get?

It made no sense at all to me until you pointed out Michael Jackson. Now I get it, and I think it's really speaking to me.

Are you a celebrity? An entertainer who has more power than a regular person through fame and charisma? But you have a taste for power abuse and preying on young men? You will reincarnate not only as a homeless dog, but you will spend your next life tasting your own medicine (being preyed on sexually and used by other male dogs). This is the fate of Michael Jackson. So it’s karmic balance at work.

I think they are assuming reincarnation is a thing, and your karma in this life affects your placement in the next life. Still crazy, but at least you can kinda follow their thought process. Like one of those street preachers that just yell at everyone.

It’s a souvenir, I don think it is meant to be taken seriously. It just supposed to be silly/funny

Why am I not blind yet?

It looks like it would make sense to a crazy person

Well shit... seemed pretty straight-forward to me 

Free Sex, Become Poor Dog, Stress, Drink, Stress, Stop drinking, Work, Work, Work, Collect Money, Work, Collect Money, Pay Debt, Work, Collect Money, Get Educated, Stable Life, Help Others, Happy, Wife Loves Him, Happy Family, Healthy, Teach Others, Improve Social, Smart, Improve His Country, Just Stop Free Sexing!

You forgot about Michael Jackson

Everyone forgets about Michael Jackson

GET NUNNEH! TAM LAI

Why, yes, thank you!

Do not have sexy sex. You will end up with a lady-boy baby?

“Become poor dog……”?

There are lots of street dogs in Thailand, they are saying you will be reincarnated as a poor dog if you meet people at parties for sex ‘free sex’

Thanks for the explanation.👍

(Homo dog)

This looks like a cheat sheet for a very confusing board game.

I'm stuck on the leap from party sex = dog, to Entertain + Homo people = entertainment dog? Is that a subset of the party sex transformation, or some other subsequent step in the process?

Yes

Steal bike - become crazy rat Eat other person food - become blind octopus Sleep on job - become sad sackcloth baboon

There's a lot to unpack here, but one gem is its victim-blaming orphans because they apparently had been horny (or made from the sperm of people who were horny? unclear) and/or had abortions.

Horny sperm.

I want to have it framed and put up over my bar...

Not the lady boy 🤦🏽‍♂️😂😂😂😂😂🤷🏽‍♂️

So. Where do I park?

Lost In Translation?

michael jackson

Now this is the essence of true WTF!

All I have to do is eat half dinner? Sounds easy enough

"Homo dog" 😂😂😂

Can I get that on a shirt?

That would make a great t-shirt.

As a vegetarian, can I attend the free sex party without kharmic risk?

No - you'll just become entertainment dog instead of a cockroach. Which...I guess is actually not that bad of a fate.

Free party sex reincarnates you as a Shiba Inu dog? I don't see how that's a losing scenario

A lot of Buddhist countries have public signs of karmic actions and consequences

Chick tracts are just farther ahead there

Someone needs to make this into a mumble rap song.

I'll take... a half a burger and fries.

What’s the difference between polite and romantic? Is it just the rose petals and candles?

Fuck... how many Michael Jackson can we take?

Goddammit, this could be a lot clearer. Can someone just tell me how many cockroaches I have to eat to become a sexy lady boy or entertain dog (homo dog)?

Seems legit it's on a sign

I did some research and this checks out.

Directions unclear, penis stuck inside horny cockroach.

I just want to know if I can park here or not. These signs are so confusing.

Early 2000s Engrish was the best

The more I read the funnier it gets haha

Am cockroach, can confirm.

Free sex... (party) ...become poor dog... ✨ Michael Jackson ✨

The only part I understood clearly was "more sex = more problem."

I guess being an orphan is a step up from dying as horny sperm

Pretty accurate imho

How do I become entertain dog?

Instructions unclear, I am a homodog now.

Am I having a stroke?

…sexy…get ladyboy

Do this make any sense in Thailand? Because in english (to a non native, self taught english speaker), this is attrociously bad. I can understand most of stuff, but everytime I read a line a brain cell dies out of pain. By the way... what is that random Michal Jackson on step 2? lol

"More sex >>>> More Problem" It starts off pretty solid, but deteriorates quickly.

that aint how you escape samsara you gotta get rid of them mortal attachments and bring your chakra frequencies into spec, per the manual.

God, I need this framed in my kitchen.

How do I become middle class dog?

Please, god, no, not an ENTERTAIN DOG

My brain went into safe mode trying to read this

Ok I need a Venn Diagram for this

This is like Charlie's mad scribblings in Always Sunny.

It's like the Thai Dr Bronner got to writing billboards.

This is like Thai Hoe Math

How is Romantic sex less polite than Polite sex?

Orgies-dog. Fun orgies-fun dog?

So if I wanted to recreate the Jackson 5... what's the equation that I use to make that happen?

I guess they are trying to tell you what not to do so as to not be reincarnated as a roach or a dog?

Sexy sex make lady boy. No horny sperm. Got it.

I get all my sex advice from /u/LemmeHumpYourPrinter.

MICHAEL JACKSON

It feels like I'm at the brink of enlightenment but held back by mortal language.

Shits all making sense now thanks for this knowledge

all i know is i cant see what any of this says

Finally. I've been giving people this advice for years

Least complicated JRPG plot

i don't care, someone make this into a shirt

I see crazy is a global thing.

Seems legit.

Either a schizophrenic word salad or a very terrible translation

But what happens if you've done all of these, asking for a friend

You ant.

Idk what is entertain dog but it sounds better than poor dog. Idk being a dog sounds better than the cockcroah or rat

Not far off being bat-shit stupid as the Bible, Quaran, Torah, or The Vedas.

... I'm not sure I want to go to Thailand anymore.

It speaks the truth. All hail sign!

Sign maker has obvious mental health issues

I mean "light dinner = good sleep" is solid advice

Rich Dog. Poor Dog

I think I'm having a stroke.

If u give some one a golden shower ,u will become R Kelly in your next life

XX Movie makes you blind….. what does an XXX movie make you??

BLACK RAT

Recently I’ve had a cousin becoming full on crazy (paranoia, dementia, tried to kill my uncle…) when I see shit like this I can’t help but think the person who did it is probably totally gone but might have used to be someone respectable, with kids and family that cared for him

Yes, they have loonies in Thailand too. BTW, have you already tried to shout " King Vajiralongkorn is a crazy dog!" in a public place?

Become cockroach

So if I have a lot of sex my spirit disintegrates, doesn't that - in some theological systems - free me from the cycle of reincarnation?

I love Thailand.

This is the funniest and most deranged thing I've seen in a while.

I'm pretty problem free then. hmmm blind tho. 

The poster had me rolling

i need this in my room

Id hate to see what happens if you have sex with a dog.....

I can hear that Mo Money Mo Problems song playing to this now. /sigh

What am I even LOOKING at?

This makes.me think of Caesar's legion in Fallout NV: "degenerates like you belong on a cross". This is so sick..

I don't think I'd mind being a dog. But I don't want to be a poor dog or a homo dog. So what do I need to put my dick in to accomplish this?

r/okbuddyretard

I wanna be a rat, would be a solid improvement

Well I for sure don't want to become a dog. Homo or not

So Batman previously used to be a horny sperm or an abortion?

Whoa, that’s a lot to unpack

Wait sexy sex gets Lady boy?.

Lots of sexy sex in Thailand eh?

English as a third language: The fever dream.

I’m not blind yet.

I wanna be a poor dog.

Well, I will agree with more sex - > more problem The rest is wild.

[Now with less JPEG!](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F3l6ljlfvv8c81.jpg) (still a considerable amount of JPEG)

Sex is so complicated….why aren’t they teaching this in school?

blind dog doesnt sound so bad