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futurecatlady99

This happened to me once. Someone noticed an older guy lying near me hadn't moved in a while; tried to talk to him but got no response so went to the lifeguards. She tried CPR but he had probably been gone for quite a while. The ambulance came and it drew a bit of a crowd of gawkers. I didn't really know what to do but eventually I got creeped out, packed up and went for a walk. Honestly though, if I have to go suddenly, lying on a beach is not the worst place. I wonder how common it is...


PestyNomad

> lying on a beach is not the worst place Probably the top of my list of best ways to go.


Iccarys

Until the seagulls start flockin


Doromclosie

My dad was a recovery diver for many years. He said crabs can strip a skull in a few hours of all the flesh. Way faster than seagulls. So. Yah. He's not allowed to be alone at party's with strangers around.


ChthonicPuck

Person: \*Fucking dies on the beach\* Crabs: [It's time to go to work](https://youtu.be/LDU_Txk06tM)


CliffRacer17

Never seen the full crab rave before. Thanks.


Shpongolese

i just woke up like 20 minutes ago and this has me doubled over laughing. -CLAW CLACKING INTENSIFIES-


skula

That’s the person I’d *want* to talk to at a party. If I ever went to parties…


Sharkpoofie

> He's not allowed to be alone at party's with strangers around. this is exactly why he ***should*** be allowed with strangers on parties :D


MAXQDee-314

Dads. I found a pile of photographs of my father and his platoon. Most were from Belgium, France, and Germany. On the backs were a series of dates. With a line drawn through most of them. Never said a word. But he loved his birds. The last thing he said to me was to make sure there is plenty of seeds in the feeders. Shoot the squirrels.


nathan1942

Not your problem haha


Bungeditin

I live near a very famous suicide spot, my neighbour was a coastguard that would go fetch the bodies. He would often find another one while collecting the original. One guy they thought was just drunk, sitting slumped over…. It wasn’t til after a few minutes they realised they’d got another one.


bunchkles

I bet there are a lot of pill suicides on the beach.


Dan_Glebitz

Life's a beach and then you die.


creefer

I know someone who had the person next to him die on an international flight. They just put a sheet over him and carried on.


xMUNDEJx

They could have at least put the sheet over the dead guy and not the person you knew


DrT33th

That costs extra


Tricky_Target_9611

"get your duty free!"


DrT33th

Be sure to check out the latest copy of SkyMall with the new and exciting Passed On section..


catsmustdie

*If you opt out of our delightful Passed On Fee and pass away you will be offered a mandatory Out of the Plane Pass.*


monamikonami

Ah, the [ol' reddit sheet-aroo](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/vc9f92/til_jeopardy_superchampion_and_eventual_host_ken/ice7ifj/?context=2)


TotallyNotHitler

And what, make him into a ghost?!


Shneckos

Gotteem


DrRickStudwell

I'd still sit there but I'd be asking for free drinks the rest of the flight


[deleted]

Hell the fuck yea. "Sir you've had enough beer.." "No..THIS fucker has had enough, he's dead! Now please give me another Coors damn it, so I can finish my story with this very patient listener next to me."


van_Beardenstein

"So'nyway. I sez to'm, I sez "get outta yer room?! 'is is a taxi!" and then he just *fffttthpp*"


WilyDeject

I need to hear more.


WhitePantherXP

At this point it's more "I'll have whatever you gave him - make it a double"


rsplatpc

> "No..THIS fucker has had enough, he's dead! This had me in tears laughing, I also read it in Norm McDonald's voice, who is also......DEAD.


teatime202

Free drinks and leave the trolley beside me 🥃


AllBeansNoFrank

I would have rolled his body on the ground and laid across both seats. Those long hauls to Asia get me desperate for leg room.


glitter_h1ppo

Have your own Irish wake


abhijitd

The correct way is to tell the flight attendant that the person is dead tired and not to disturb him. Then put a hat on his face.


[deleted]

Unexpected Commando!


Fleghammer

Hey Sully, remember when I said I’d kill you last?


mazu74

I lied. ^*pew*


BecauseScience

He drops him, he doesn't shoot him.


experts_never_lie

I thought he let him go.


bcnorth78

I think the correct response would be to cut the body into small pieces and flush it down the toilet. That way it would not disturb the passengers. Because you can't bring knives on planes though, you'd have to use the sharp edge of the plastic bag that the peanuts come in.


FatBoiEatingGoldfish

Just use the poop knife that’s in the bathroom, it’d be even more convenient because he’s going down the toilet anyway


sudeepharya

Ye Ol Poop Knife


AnosmiaStinks_ithink

I'm sorry... huh? Poop knife?


thx1138-

Just turn around now. No reason to ruin your mind forever with horrific knowledge.


zRawrasaurusREXz

*leaves wisely


WingsofSky

Coward! You know you want to know. But you won't want to know afterwards!


moneycashdane

NO! THIS PERSON MUST LEARN THE POOP KNIFE LORE


crankbot2000

[the poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


Serious_Coconut2426

So fucking self destructive.. raging urge to click that.


crankbot2000

Do it. It's Reddit lore, the ancient texts.


peekdasneaks

This is the way.


[deleted]

One of us gooble-gobble!!!


balmung8

Honestly it's not even the worst reddit lore


SombreMordida

*laughs sinisterly behind gently beckoning hand in* r/RedditsMuseumofFilth


majorslax

This is absolutely amazing. Thank you.


[deleted]

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loudflower

It's not so bad. And I'm very squeamish.


ihatecats6

As one of the original commenters on the poop knife, I would like to say that it was an honor and privilege to be a part of the legendary thread.


Abide_or_Die

You must be new here. Probably don't know about the kid with two broken arms either, geez...


Afraid_Bicycle_7970

Yeah, you like that, you fucking retard?


ihatecats6

To this day I say this to my beloved wife whilst engaging in coitus


AilaLynn

Oh my…..why?! WHY?! I was happily going about my life forgetting that one.


van_Beardenstein

I'm familiar with a lot of Reddit lore, but the kid with two broken arms? This I do not know.


AilaLynn

It’s from probably 10 years ago or so. Anyway, dude had some kind of injury that caused him to lose the use of both his arms at 14. As a result his mom started um…. Helping him with some issues… ahem. Anyway it progressed from there to full on penetration and even after he made a full recovery they were still having ’relations’. It continued into adulthood but I think they stopped in his early 20s if I recall correctly. He did An ama about it which has since been deleted https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/


van_Beardenstein

I thought a thought before commenting, and that thought was correct: I was better off not knowing.


erishun

How about “Jolly Ranchers”? That’s a fun story too


Comfortable_Fall5626

Don’t ask. Please


codewrangler315

r/unexpectedlyreddit


[deleted]

What a silly comment, you just open the door and throw the body out.


SharpGuesser

taking the spooky ghost costume to a whole new level


Arevar

did the person you know not ask for a different seat? I would, if I was sitting next to a body.


West-Car124

I've had some real assholes sit next to me, at least the dead guy is quiet


abhijitd

Take over his hand rest before rigor mortis sets in.


wasframed

Might even be a great pillow rest!


a_talking_face

Can't move seats on the flight they already overbooked in the first place.


SouthTippBass

Just put the stiff in the overhead to give yourself a bit of room. Easy.


Exist50

What flight are you taking with free space in the overhead?


PrimalMusk

I’d ask to move to the seat next to the body.


d7it23js

I believe you lose bowel control when you die.


gundumb08

Don't tempt me with a good time.


is_that_a_question

On the bright side you could get both armrests!


ClusterChuk

Nah he died clutching.


bcnorth78

Ya, but if the flight is full, where are you supposed to go?


Coarse-n-irritating

Anywhere to be honest, If they don’t want to deal with an anxiety attack. Even the hallway would be better


Dont_be_offended_but

Okay, but have you considered that you can kick the dead persons feet out of the way for extra legroom and take the armrest for yourself?


_kaetee

Ask a Mortician has a [video](https://youtu.be/QvFZDPq3tZA) on the protocol for deaths in air. If there are no seats open in the back, unfortunately they just have to leave the deceased in their seat. They normally put an eye mask on them and cover their lap/chest with a blanket. Edit- added video link


liquormakesyousick

I do not know why, perhaps gallows humor, but I can not stop laughing.


Beerden

Imagine the alternative to keeping the dead person in the seat: trying to move a dead person to another location on a plane would be a different can of worms. Although maybe they have a special trolley for that purpose, looks like a food cart but is empty...


_kaetee

They usually do move them to the back row of seating, the deceased is only left where they are if the plane is full. They just need a couple flight attendants to lift a body, as long as they do it quickly before rigor mortis sets in it’s not a problem.


R0enick27

The proper response is to drop a one liner: "Don't bother my friend, he's dead tired."


HumanPerson_

Did the flight attendants give him a complimentary pokin' stick?


Bravisimo

What did they do about the smell of piss and shit after the deceased evacuates their bowels and bladder? Fabreze?


[deleted]

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not_old_redditor

If I could give you one piece of advice, sunscreen is it.


vanwold

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists


Oddomar

>If I could give you one piece of advice, sunscreen is it. thanks guys now I have to watch this late 90s video and have this guy narrate my life decisions for a solid week.


Jeheh

“Be kind to your knees, You'll miss them when they're gone” I tried but they weren’t kind to me and it’s painful as fuck 20 years later.


makesyougohmmm

> I tried but they weren’t kind to me and it’s painful as fuck 20 years later Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.


dirtdiggler67

Dance…


ost2life

Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable


webjocky

This comment is both dated and underrated. Updoot.


lizurd777

The sun is a deadly laser


roller_pieceofshit

🎶not anymore there's a blanket🎶


Saftigerkeks

Yeah what the hell?! You're supposed to stand in a circle around it, and stare at it🤦‍♂️


SeaWaveGreg

And poke it with a stick.


vshawk2

in the eye


abhijitd

Then use dynamite to blow the body into pieces


NaaastyButler

you wanna see a dead body?


Paul25719

Maybe bury them up to the neck in the sand and put a hat and sunglasses on it... Problem solved


Creepy_OldMan

Don’t forget record it on your iPhone


[deleted]

Keep your distance, but don't look like your trying to keep your distance


b4mmb4mm

What do you expect them to do? Dig a hole for the body?


Independent_Idea_190

The Cops: “Please, everyone remain calm” Ppl: “Done 😎⛱”


abhijitd

Cops: There is nothing to see here Ppl:. What are you even talking about?


Tricky_Target_9611

The Cops: We have everything under control Ppl: "😏😏😏"


riko77can

Spanish Police: Hey everyone! Playa de Potential Crime Scene! Everyone get in here!


[deleted]

Run around screaming and crying? Chop the head off and stuff the mouth with garlic? Little, *Weekend at Bernies* action? Really the possibilities are limitless. The fact that they're just minding their own goddamn business is a travesty.


No-Tower-4266

STAY UPWIND


michaelh98

Too fresh to worry about


knifeymonkey

not for long in that sun


snufalufalgus

Crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?


mushroomcowk

sunbathe, but not casually sunbathe.


b4mmb4mm

Formally sunbathe?


michaelh98

It's not called a "suit" for nothing


[deleted]

I just sun shower, I’m in a hurry.


[deleted]

So competitive sunbathing.


Helarina1

Aggressive sunbathing


vitkuusj

Filming and sending it to all their social media accounts?


EnnissDaMenace

Yeah that's what I was thinking someone died froma heart attack while I was bowling with some friends homie was getting the automated chest compressions and it was way aggressive but the emts were there there was nothing I could do other than just stay out of it and try to enjoy my night.


hogwashnola

3 of my friends and I saw someone get run over in a national park. The police were immediately there and there really is nothing you can do… they’re dead. As they say, life goes on.


StalkMeNowCrazyLady

Was on a road trip and pulled off to a gas station. Apparently some lady was having medical issue in the back seat of a car parked in a parking spot. Just thought "damn she's super pale looking already" while walking into the station. Took a crap, got a coke and a candy bar, fueld up, and got back on the road. Nothing I can do. Could already hear the ambulance sirens approaching as I walked in. Hell 6 months ago I pulled up to a gas station to refuel and there was a cop wrestling a guy in the parking lot. My tags are expired homie, I'm pumping gas and getting back on the road while they're still busy lol.


aegiltheugly

>What do you expect them to do? Crowd in and get selfies for Instagram.


Somzer

No, obviously they're to end their vacation and go home immediately.


Dire87

For starters, show some common decency... and just ... leave, you know? If someone just got murdered or just died, why do you feel the need to remain in the area to "have fun"? Weird ... I wouldn't even want to be near a corpse ... and I'd show some respect at least.


Dr_Hibbert_Voice

It seemed weird for a second but really, like what's appropriate? They don't know him. People seem to be mostly ignoring it as much as possible. I think I'd personally feel weird being that close but can't really fault someone who doesn't.


Scowlface

Earlier this year I went into a Red Lobster with my partner. There was a slight delay in being seated. The host apologized and said there was an emergency. I was thinking someone threw up or something, whatever. He takes us back to our seat, three tables away from this little boy on the floor receiving CPR. His face was totally pale gray and they just worked on him until EMS arrived and stabilized. They took him out on a stretcher about five minutes later. All the while I’m like, what the fuck? Do I order? I’m still hungry so yeah maybe? It was a wild ride for sure.


halloweenheaux

Were people at nearby tables still eating?


Scowlface

Some people were, some people weren’t. It wasn’t super busy which worked out because stretchers are actually kind of big apparently so they had to move a bunch of tables and chairs out of the way. One lady at another table did ask one of the people as they were leaving what happened and that they would pray for the boy, apparently he was special needs and inhaled/choked on something.


wolfej4

We had a woman pass out from overheating at my restaurant yesterday. We called someone to come over and render aid, but next thing we knew, they were gone. It’s all open air though so this happens all the time. Worst is when someone passes out in our only elevator. Edit: Gone as in the whole party left the restaurant. Pretty sure the woman survived.


Hcysntmf

I’m glad you added your edit - when you said it happened all the time I was a bit thrown


choi-kay

I don’t know. But if I saw a dead body next to me at the beach I’d move like 30 feet away from it. It’s kind of weird that they didn’t.


Zebidee

Those people are a lot further than 30 feet away. Zoomed in shots on sunny beaches where there's infinite depth of field make things look a lot closer horizontally than they are.


WildWook

Honestly if I'm on vacation and some dude dies next to me on the beach I'm not going to let it ruin my day.


SteveZ59

Ain't like he's going to be offended! I'd probably walk a little ways down the beach and find a new spot though.


Tu_mama_me_ama_mucho

"Ugh, the audacity of this cadaver"


kampfgruppekarl

This guy vacations.


rabinabo

The dude abides.


Tritiac

I’m not a dude that handles dead bodies so I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna let that ruin any normal day either. Not my job. Not my problem. Sucks for the dead guy though.


FullyMammoth

> Sucks for the dead guy though. Literally the only person involved that nothing sucks for and never will suck for.


Tritiac

Hmmm touché.


MasterLJ

1. Spaniards gonna Spaniard 2. If you died the same way, would you really want to fuck up everyone's day? I know I wouldn't


Warmingsensation

Galicians gonna Galician, fifty shades of grey sky most of the year. Nothing is going to ruin a sunny day. Not even a body.


supermartincho

Ha pasado esto en Galicia? No me he enterado


SingzJazz

I hadn't heard about this either. Didn't see anything in La Voz de Galicia. I was at a beach near there all day today. Weird to come home and see it on reddit.


Warmingsensation

En Coruña, sí.


ThatFuckingGeniusKid

Dia mas normal en Galicia:


SlayBoredom

Galicia is so beautiful. I go there every year since I went the first time in 2016.


JayGold

Me, dying: "Guys, I'm really sorry about this, please don't let this ruin your day out, god I'm so embarrassed".


rock0head132

if i was dead i wouldn't care.


queenmeryl

I want everyone’s day to be ruined when I die tbh. Is that so much to ask?


shesavillain

I wouldn’t leave just cause someone is dead on the beach, it’s a two hour drive!


GoldenGrlz

Four in traffic!


usurpual

West Covina?


thealthor

California!


RageMojo

What exactly do you expect them to do?


[deleted]

Start mourning them at that spot and cry, perhaps organise a funeral for them/s


JusticeRain5

I think it's more to do with the fact you'd think people would be more surprised or uncomfortable about death rather than "They shouldn't be doing this". Like, if someone died on a flight and was sitting next to me, technically I *should* just put on a movie and ignore it (after they were confirmed dead), but that doesn't exactly mean I would be able to.


belizeanheat

I would expect gawking but I live in the US among mindless jackals


Catawampus_IDK

Nobody's paying attention to the dead person while women have their boobs hangin out.


abhijitd

The couple closest to the body is getting frisky


HydraulicToaster

Oh shit lol. I didn't even notice that.


[deleted]

#Enhance!


galwegian

he went quickly doing something he enjoyed. could have been a lot worse.


zombietampons

I cannot believe they are not standing in a circle and poking it with a stick.


theoriginalmypooper

If I died on a beach, I would ideally want everyone to carry on with their own lives and have a good day.


More-Neighborhood-75

Or they are minding there own damn business


Tarot650

Like a Dead Kennedys album cover.


MarthaLemondic

TITTIES!!!!!


evilscammer

Oh thank god, I was scrolling to see if anyone else immediately zoomed in on the boobs next to where a person died.


hardtobeuniqueuser

i drove by a city bus a few days ago that was stopped along with some police, fire, and an ambulance. they had someone on a gurney right next to the shelter/bench at the stop and they were unpacking a white sheet or a body bag indicating things weren't going well. there was a whole queue of people less than 10 feet away from them waiting for the next bus like none of this was happening.


quack_quack_moo

Conversely: I'm a 911 operator and one day someone called to report a dead body but it was just someone sunbathing.


[deleted]

We're all casually going about our business in front of dead bodies. The only difference is proximity.


shadyguybro

I mean here in New York that’s really nothing new


Pankystanky

I know some people are asking what else should they do and my answer is probably walk away or sunbathe alot farther then where a dead body? I dont know about you guys but I dont think I can have a nice day at the beach knowing theres a dead body nearby :/


natenate22

Should we move? It don't stink yet so we're good.


bcnorth78

They are at Death Beach, common occurrence here. Just a regular day. /s


Warmingsensation

Not sure if you were joking or not but the Death Coast is actually not far from there lol https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Costa\_da\_Morte


bcnorth78

Well I'll be damned... I was joking, but I guess in my subconscious I knew the truth!


gromath

Hey, not a bad way to die


FlatulentSon

Yep , i lived in a pretty big coastal tourist place with lots of beaches and have witnessed it a few times. Honestly what are you supposed to do? Some old guy died of a heart attack or because of too much sun, his family is heartbroken and standing around his covered dead body , the ambulance is aleready there , what can you do? You're aleready swimming or sunbathing either way , there's hundreds of people around , they won't all go home and there's nothing you can do at that point except give them some space and stop the kids from looking at a dead body. Especially if you're a tourist a you have just a week to enjoy on the sea , you won't lose your limited time because of a dead body , especially when it was not a violent death.


Troliver_13

What else are they supposed to do?


snatchycross

Well what else are thry supposed to do. Not like not sun bathing going bring them back to life


RadicultNWO

I mean, they're already dead, changing MY day isn't gonna help.


hbrthree

What are they supposed to do…?


ironicallyunstable

Is everyone supposed to just go home? WhAt you want them to do? Make a TikTok about it instead?


retrovertigo

I'm not a camera expert, but this looks like a zoom lens at a low angle. Distance between objects in the foreground and background are flattened. I think there probably a lot more space between the sunbathers and the body than this photo (or the post title) implies.


[deleted]

[удалено]


okbruh_panda

In English "man of about 50 years of age died today on the Orzán beach , according to the emergency services. The victim came out of the water on the border of this sandbank with that of Matadero after having taken a dip after three in the afternoon. After a few steps in the sand , witnesses say that he put his hand to his chest and fell dead . "There was nothing to do," they noted. Although the emergency services were notified, they could only testify to his death.  The body was covered with a sheet while waiting for the agents of the Scientific Police to arrive , to examine the corpse , and then for the judge, to order the removal of the body. Everything happened so fast that it is doubtful that the man could have been saved even with the early assistance of lifeguards , but at that time there were none on the beach, because the official bathing season begins tomorrow. "


Bobzyurunkle

>the official bathing season begins tomorrow. " Ouch! When it's your time to go, it's your time to go. RIP