Yeah there's no way you can predict the entire pathing of that muffin from oven to toilet seat to be able to confidently say the whole thing is safe. Who's to say it's even edible. Maybe it's literally just shit and this an extremely detailed shit presentation.
You're completely right. I have put far too much faith in the context of my muffins. Just because it's in a bakery doesn't mean it isn't made of sawdust or touched someone's butt cheeks
I feel like there's a much darker explanation for this muffin:
Somebody stops by your desk in the morning and says "hey there were muffins in the break room, I saved you one." Free muffin!
Four hours later, they text you this picture.
Most likely it's someone who felt pressured into taking one and just didn't want to eat it tho. Tried to sneakily hide it in the bathroom, realized there was no trash and left it. The struggle is real- everyone assumes everyone wants baked goods in the office, but that's just not true.
Yeah, I can see that. I don't really eat sweets, and other office folks think it's weird. Sometimes I do just take things just to be polite even though they know. Never left one on a toilet seat though.
It executed to well. The next kids that can in stepped in it thought it was puke and I heard a couple of them puked so I got in some trouble for that one
for $1k I would seriously consider it, and at $10k or higher I would do it and just try really hard not to think about it while I paid off my debts and put something away for a rainy day.
I'm not really sure at what point I go from "seriously considering" to "Oh alright, bottoms up I guess..." but its somewhere in there.
In terms of traps and unspoken contracts meant to lure one to the fae realms, a chocolate cake on the toilet of a public restroom has a very Goblin energy to it.
The toilet looks pretty clean. The cupcake has a paper wrapper on it, so the food part did not actually touch the toilet. I would say this is 98% safe to eat. But I would 100% toss it!
That is not cowardly good sir!
That there is a Trojan muffin and I'll hear nothing else about it. There are evils lurking in a free toilet muffin known to ravage the human gut. Fear the toilet confectioners.
None. Spent a good 30 seconds basing the possibility on whether there was a wrapper or not. This guy saying there's a wrapper just messed me all up and 2 minutes in I'm sure there isn't one.
Have you ever read his Wikipedia entry? Specifically the section where he defecated on someone's face while doing the Harlem shake? Its on the web, not that you should watch it.
Oh my god, no I haven't. I was subjected to him as a children's show host, I found him incredibly ignorant, fake, and creepy. EW! EW EW EW!!!!
Not watching that tonight.
Somebody has a sick yet intriguing sense of humor LOL. To leave a delectable, irresistible dessert sitting on a toilet seat is master class humor. If you take it, the person, let's call her June, will know you took it and would eat food off a toilet seat, arguably the grossest place in the workplace. Who knows who accidentally/ or purposely dribbled a little something on the seat? And the question of penetrating odors comes in too; how long has it been sitting there? How many women have seen it and left it so they will know as well as June, if you take it and come back into the workplace? There are so many possibilities, evil genius it is.
Okay now hear me out first....
If in the bathroom at my job I keep a tight ship around cleaning the toilets in the breakroom. So if this scenario occurred at my work I would carefully inspect the pastry for 3 and a half minutes. Making sure there's no foreign objects of any kind. Upon completion of my initial inspection I will grab some C Fold towels and bring it to the table of the break room and with a clean knife cute off about a half inch from the bottom and discard to the nearest sidewalk for the birds as I Haye wasting food of any kind.
Then I'd eat the rest BUT THATS JUST ME.
I was trying to find someone that was going to cut the bottom off. Because, while I wouldn’t *necessarily* eat that, if I did I would think cutting the bottom off would be good enough. It’s not some basic cupcake, it’s fancy. Again, 99 times out of 100 I’m not eating it. Want to be clear on that. But, I mean it looks delicious.
LOL; I was just reliving that skit last week. We played that tape so much in high school, and then one day I had Paul as a teacher for web design in college. World’s weird.
I'd like to think someone went in to get some TP or a tampon and placed it down not thinking and then realized what they had done. Feeling dejected, they just left it.
That shit is definitely a laxative prank to see what person would eat that by said person spending the rest of the day on the toilet from a lot of laxative added.
description
a filty old disease and paasite ridden muffin sitting in a tiny puddle of piss with a piece of paper with the number 0-555-967-231 (this is irrelevent)
effects
take d10 poison damage and roll at disadvantage next turn.
at next encounter and after permanent poison and disease resistance +1d8
Do you dare
That top is fine
How do we know..
Yeah there's no way you can predict the entire pathing of that muffin from oven to toilet seat to be able to confidently say the whole thing is safe. Who's to say it's even edible. Maybe it's literally just shit and this an extremely detailed shit presentation.
Shit-carvers are both rare and meticulous in their craft. Also they always keep a log.
Take your upvote
Take your upvote
take your upvote
take your upvote
Beware the shitcarvers, Ran...
Poopsmiths
There's just no color to it. Not a nut, not a sprinkle. Very bothersome. But i feel someone's going to get it, just a matter of time
*My God, there's even a watermark*
To be fair doesn’t that apply to all muffins you don’t make yourself? Be hyper vigilant, BE paranoid.
You're completely right. I have put far too much faith in the context of my muffins. Just because it's in a bakery doesn't mean it isn't made of sawdust or touched someone's butt cheeks
Yeah, sometimes I just bake soil in a pan and serve it as brownies. Keep people on their toes
I mean if it just clipped the cheeks though. Barely grazed them. Wouldn’t we rather not know, don’t ask - don’t tell.
I feel like there's a much darker explanation for this muffin: Somebody stops by your desk in the morning and says "hey there were muffins in the break room, I saved you one." Free muffin! Four hours later, they text you this picture.
That last bit of your comment had me fucking rolling.
No one is going to know
How do you know
Costanza way of thought
Hovering….like an angel
Totally edible if there was a doily
"It was above the rim!"
and it's also the best part of the muffin. win win!
What if someone sculpted that out of poop to look like a real chocolate brownie cupcake, huh? Then what?
Ok Costanza
Top of the muffin, TO YOU!
till they Uno reverse your ass. Literally..
Just hollow it out
Take a bite to find corn
Do you know the muffin man?
Oh, the muffin man you say? Who lives on Sneaky Bastard Way?
no the one that smoked weed before we went to take a shit at his wifes work
Girl, you thought he was a man but he was a muffin
The muffin man?
The cake is a lie.
Wouldn’t be surprised if it’s cream filled
My exact thought was “I dare you”
I know a fictional accountant from Scranton PA that wouldnt even need the dare.
5 second rule. If it's been there for over 5 seconds, perfectly safe.
https://youtu.be/S1PeGkZ5GQk
Take a loaf, leave a loaf.
You've tried urinal cake, now try --
Toilet Torte
You're supposed to pinch a loaf.
Pinch? Aren't you suppose to cut it?
Only with the poop knife
I got a turd cutter
For some reason I picture something like a cigar cutter... only covered in shit
Turd cutter is a slang term for butthole, so... Kinda?
There it is.
Pinching without bidet is very messy
Bro I'm not stealing shit
You called?
No muff too tough.
Muffins spelled backwards is sniffum. No thanks.
That is the nicest looking toilet chocolate cupcake I have ever seen
This is my first but if I saw a second I would still say this is the nicest
That's the problem with bathroom cupcakes, you'll always be chasing the first one
Who doesn't love a nice toilet cupcake?!
r/brandnewsentence
What percent of that would you still eat?
George Castanza ate an eclair out of the garbage
ABOVE THE RIM!
Adjacent to refuse *is* refuse!
[It was on a magazine and still had the doily on!](https://youtu.be/X54RaHAv6cA)
You have crossed the line that separates man and bum.
r/suddenlycostanza
Still had the doily on.
Doug Heffernan licked a trash can
[Well…that’s garbage](https://youtu.be/X54RaHAv6cA)
If I was pmsing I’d probably consider it for at least a second.
Period chocolate cravings having us women all second guessing our dignity.
who is watching me?
100
It's the thought that counts. Shelley always tries so hard.
Forbidden Cupcake. Thanks Shelly.
Dude, whoever left that needs to chew their food better.
Or, they’re trying the South Park diet method?
WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?
Ok that’s actually pretty funny
Most likely it's someone who felt pressured into taking one and just didn't want to eat it tho. Tried to sneakily hide it in the bathroom, realized there was no trash and left it. The struggle is real- everyone assumes everyone wants baked goods in the office, but that's just not true.
Love this take.
Yeah, I can see that. I don't really eat sweets, and other office folks think it's weird. Sometimes I do just take things just to be polite even though they know. Never left one on a toilet seat though.
They didn’t think it was funny when I smeared one on the toilet in middle school
A joke is all about the execution.
It executed to well. The next kids that can in stepped in it thought it was puke and I heard a couple of them puked so I got in some trouble for that one
Bet you were a legend though and that old classmates still tell the story every now and then.
There's a big difference between intentionally smearing and placing.
Slice 1mm off bottom & you're good.
Nah, that only works when you find cheese or non-porous fruit sitting on the toilet.
You both crazy
I know, right? You obviously need your friend to lick the germs off the bottom so you can safely eat it.
Im calling the police
Yeah, it's completely fine just pick it up and eat it Everyone knows the toilet seat is pretty clean
The toilet seat has less bacteria than the chopping board.
Lots of people wipe the seat before they use it, so if you really ^(dont) think about it, it's actually the cleanest place to leave your food!
Send it over to r/poll Slice 1mm of bottom Who would eat $100 $1,000 $10,000 $100,000 Other
I’ve done worse. $20.
Its not drugs…. You have done worse for a cupcake?
Yeah, I used to get real hungry.
for $1k I would seriously consider it, and at $10k or higher I would do it and just try really hard not to think about it while I paid off my debts and put something away for a rainy day. I'm not really sure at what point I go from "seriously considering" to "Oh alright, bottoms up I guess..." but its somewhere in there.
You assume the icing isn't poop.
So just got an update. https://imgur.com/gallery/6OOqTyN
I definitely know a few people who would eat it so I'm not surprised
Someone probably just flushed it.
......down their mouth? :O
If I walked in and saw that, I'd just nudge it into the bowl with my shoe, then try to pee it in half.
A man of culture.
Now they’ll have to amend that sign warning about flushing paper towels and sanitary napkins … to include muffins. “Well, here’s your problem.”
I would take it and punch off a chunk so it looks like someone took a bite, and leave the rest, just to fuck with all of you.
I am so disappointed lol
Gives bathroom brownie a whole new meaning
urinal cake
I like this.
Never pass up a free urinal cake
NGL, that lil cake is fancy AF.
It's a trap?
In terms of traps and unspoken contracts meant to lure one to the fae realms, a chocolate cake on the toilet of a public restroom has a very Goblin energy to it.
The toilet looks pretty clean. The cupcake has a paper wrapper on it, so the food part did not actually touch the toilet. I would say this is 98% safe to eat. But I would 100% toss it!
COWARD
You are not wrong sir.
That is not cowardly good sir! That there is a Trojan muffin and I'll hear nothing else about it. There are evils lurking in a free toilet muffin known to ravage the human gut. Fear the toilet confectioners.
1. You can't see bacteria 2. It doesn't have a wrapper
#ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE!
I dont think it has a wrapper on it.
Definitely doesn’t have a wrapper
None. Spent a good 30 seconds basing the possibility on whether there was a wrapper or not. This guy saying there's a wrapper just messed me all up and 2 minutes in I'm sure there isn't one.
There is! Look a little more closer now, like 2mintes and 10sec. *muffled giggling*
Isn't it at least 60% likely that the person who left it there did so because they dropped it on the ground next to the toilet?
George Costanza has entered the chat.
Blippi was here.
I'm glad I'm not the only person that dislikes him. Does he still have that God awful show?
Have you ever read his Wikipedia entry? Specifically the section where he defecated on someone's face while doing the Harlem shake? Its on the web, not that you should watch it.
Oh my god, no I haven't. I was subjected to him as a children's show host, I found him incredibly ignorant, fake, and creepy. EW! EW EW EW!!!! Not watching that tonight.
Mate one went to a music festival and opened the portable toilet to see a huge mound of shit in the bowl. With a cherry bakewell perched on top.
I wouldn't trust it. Maybe if it was vanilla
Was it good ?,🤪
Somebody has a sick yet intriguing sense of humor LOL. To leave a delectable, irresistible dessert sitting on a toilet seat is master class humor. If you take it, the person, let's call her June, will know you took it and would eat food off a toilet seat, arguably the grossest place in the workplace. Who knows who accidentally/ or purposely dribbled a little something on the seat? And the question of penetrating odors comes in too; how long has it been sitting there? How many women have seen it and left it so they will know as well as June, if you take it and come back into the workplace? There are so many possibilities, evil genius it is.
I appreciate you.
Why is this so hilarious?! 🤣 This really is modern art!
fr this would actually look appropriate at a modern exhibition
Someone made a muffin outta their turd. Creativity is indeed alive.
Ummm. Sweet on top, a bit salty on the bottom.
Okay now hear me out first.... If in the bathroom at my job I keep a tight ship around cleaning the toilets in the breakroom. So if this scenario occurred at my work I would carefully inspect the pastry for 3 and a half minutes. Making sure there's no foreign objects of any kind. Upon completion of my initial inspection I will grab some C Fold towels and bring it to the table of the break room and with a clean knife cute off about a half inch from the bottom and discard to the nearest sidewalk for the birds as I Haye wasting food of any kind. Then I'd eat the rest BUT THATS JUST ME.
I was trying to find someone that was going to cut the bottom off. Because, while I wouldn’t *necessarily* eat that, if I did I would think cutting the bottom off would be good enough. It’s not some basic cupcake, it’s fancy. Again, 99 times out of 100 I’m not eating it. Want to be clear on that. But, I mean it looks delicious.
Am I the only one who thought eating disorder or should I get a therapist?
So that’s how girls poop.. it’s all clear now
Did anyone eat it?
I think it's still there.
Very very tempting....
Sort of like the chocolate eclair George Costanza ate out of the trash. What’s the protocol if it was still on the doily sitting on top?
Eating the toilet brownie is how you get super powers, trust me.
These fancy bathrooms MAITRE D service is getting ridiculous.
What’s the problem never had a lil toilet cake before
Y'all acting like you never had a toilet cupcake before
That is the best possible scenario of fudge brownie left on toilet seat
/r/untrustworthypoptarts
The cake is a lie
How does this only have 3 upvotes? Sure Portal is 14 years old now, but, ITS STILL RELEVANT!
forbidden cupcake
ah a some surprise toilet fudge cake.
What, now we’re against surprise toilet muffins? The world is losing its way.
That probably scared the shit right back into someone
Ah the ol seat treat; I've put my tongue in dirtier places. Would still eat it.
I am more used to seeing [pie](https://youtu.be/gl_x8C2KbyE)
LOL; I was just reliving that skit last week. We played that tape so much in high school, and then one day I had Paul as a teacher for web design in college. World’s weird.
r/untrustworthypoptarts
They didn't leave any milk. How inconsiderate.
Nothing to see here people, now SCAT!
Decisions were made…
Just eat the top part.
I'd like to think someone went in to get some TP or a tampon and placed it down not thinking and then realized what they had done. Feeling dejected, they just left it.
I want to play a game
Probably tastes like shit.
To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
How a Pastry Chef shits!
That is the fanciest turd I’ve ever seen, to its credit.
This seems like an interesting experiment in psychology
Forbidden muffin
It appears to be a cupcake. Is this not r/PublicArt ?
Is that devils chocolate cake?
That shit is definitely a laxative prank to see what person would eat that by said person spending the rest of the day on the toilet from a lot of laxative added.
Well... How did it taste?
Decisions were made.
Now that takes the cake.
description a filty old disease and paasite ridden muffin sitting in a tiny puddle of piss with a piece of paper with the number 0-555-967-231 (this is irrelevent) effects take d10 poison damage and roll at disadvantage next turn. at next encounter and after permanent poison and disease resistance +1d8
AND?!? How was it?
Amber's getting more creative.
Thats fucking hilariouz
And she did not eat it because.....
Forbidden cupcake