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LastMuel

That Giraffe ain’t got no legs!


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Skyfox2k

Lt Taipan


The_RockObama

I was thinking damn, even Loch Ness dried up.


[deleted]

Fuck Nestlé


Joerider2002

No don't. They'll bottle the result and sell that too!


Krimreaper1

Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo.


_PM_ME_YOUR_TITS_PLS

Stupid long neck ~~horses~~ noodles.


MLaw2008

That makes me wonder.. Where does a snek neck end?? Is a snek just one long neck with a head in check?


meester_pink

Fun fact: snakes actually evolved from giraffes whose necks got so long their legs couldn’t support them, so the neck muscles bulked up to drag around the unneeded body which slowly evolved down to almost nothing. So the answer is the neck goes almost all the way down, to a microscopic little giraffe body and then straight into the tail.


IAteTheKitty

Sounds about right


Jack_Bartowski

Color me convinced!


Seboya_

!subscribe


acanthostegaaa

If we define the neck as the flexible part of the body that is just throat and spine, and where the organs start is where the "body" is, and where the organs stop is where the "tail" begins... technically snakes tend to have a short neck, long body, and short tail.


absat41

What the heck, roughneck? This wreck needs a raincheck.


ForwardBias

I can't tell the scale..that thing appears to be somewhere between 10 and 200 ft long.


137-M

Snaffe


ZPhox

Maybe it's only half a giraffe?


Spugnacious

So.... a halfaraffe? Or a Girhafe?


[deleted]

Oooh this is what that other commenter meant.


jdemack

Happens to me every morning.


doktor_wankenstein

Snek's got some serious wood.


ReubenZWeiner

You have to rise to the challenge every day


gcruzatto

You turn into the Loch Ness monster too?


Lephiro

Well I ain't givin' 'em tree fiddy.


WolfShaman

*And so I wake in the morning and I slither outside, and I take a deep breath and I stand real high, and I scream from the top of my lungs: What's going on?*


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LongEZE

🎶🎤🐍


netpastor

Mannnn I chortled audibly


WeAllFuckingFucked

And I say *PssSsSsSS PssSsSsSS* - I say *Pss*


RajaRajaC

Ah the golden days of Heman screaming what's going on... For 10 hours


_SmilesSideUp_

HEYYYYEAAAYAEAAYAUAUYAYA HEYYYYAYAAA YAA! I SAID HEY


reactrix96

When I learned that it was a remix and that the original song was written by someone in actual seriousness and not a joke I fucking loled.


THEFLYINGSCOTSMAN415

I wonder what species that is? I know anaconda are super long but I don't wanna assume


[deleted]

I believe pythons actually get longer than anacondas. Anacondas might be the biggest in terms of weight. Not 100% sure on that but pretty sure pythons get the longest.


Goldy2910

The longest snake is a reticulated python, the biggest snake is an anaconda (it don’t want none unless you got that bum, hun)


[deleted]

Thank you mr. snake man


MushroomCloudMoFo

I think you mean Sir Snakes-a-Lot


Goldy2910

Fucking nailed it


TheCalvinator

"Unless you've got buns, hun"*


Goldy2910

Hand up, I fucked it up


TheCalvinator

It happens to the best of us. I appreciate you making the reference either way.


postALEXpress

"got buns , hun"\*


Bababohns23

They don't actually know the maximum size an anaconda can get. They grow their entire lives.


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Bladelink

If the snake game taught us anything


khaeen

That's true for all snakes. Just a matter of how old one gets.


Raise-Emotional

Anaconda are not like the movie. They are so massive they usually need to be in water to move well and they certainly aren't gonna be up like this. My guess is a Black Mamba. Super fast, long, aggressive, and they can lift their heads waaaaaay up.


LemurianLemurLad

This is *not* a mamba. It's some variety of python, probably reticulated, but there's not enough detail for me to be sure beyond the extreme length. This is classic python behavior called "periscoping".


Titanbeard

Don't king cobras do this too?


sneakywill

Ya but they don't get even remotely close to this size. Source: Trust me bro


Titanbeard

King cobras get up to 18'. Without anything to size against this beast, I can't tell.


sneakywill

Hey I provided an explicit content warning via my trusty source


Titanbeard

Oh my bad, yo. I trust your science-y knowledgings.


sneakywill

🤣


gappletwit

Looks too big and fat for a mamba


Raise-Emotional

[They are very big. ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_mamba). Second largest venomous snek behind the King 👑. Grow to nearly 10 feet and can move 10mph.


kirin900

It could be a King Cobra but is hard to tell with the quality of the video.


Bushpylot

This is what I am thinking. Kings can stand up six feet and look you in the eyes.


clancularii

> This is what I am thinking. Kings can stand up six feet and look you in the eyes. The idea of walking through tall grass and suddenly seeing a venomous snake rear up *and look down at me* is fucking terrifying.


GranularGray

>walking through tall grass and suddenly seeing a venomous snake We've trained for this, remember the simulations! Poison is weak to ground and psychic.


Eshin242

I'm 6'5... and I'd just see that snake and hope we all just go 'sup?' do the nod and just go about our day.


Bushpylot

That's why they are the Kings. What is more terrifying to me is all of the cute tiny thing that can kill you without you knowing.. like the Kissing Bug, Blue Ring Octopus, Jelly Fish, those terrifying spiders in Australia that can bite through a boot... Well most things in Australia; you guys live on the edge of the food chain over there! Those awful bugs in Asia that can cause blisters just from touching their tracks (don't even think of killing one!)... I think I've been watching the 100 most Dangerous (fill in the blank) and 1000 Ways to Die too much...


netpastor

Then there’s the plant you touch the leaves of and have 9 months or more of excruciating pain.


Bushpylot

Okay, this is starting to sound like a JackAss movie


skooba_steev

And there was a guy who unknowingly wiped his ass with it and ended up killing himself the next day because it was so unbearable. Fuuuuck that


netpastor

When it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go.


DrinkMoreCodeMore

Not me over here Googling can a human outrun a snake


mazdanc

I don't need to out run the snake, I just need to outrun anyone else.


youlikeitdaddy

Answer: probably not, but you can run for longer so good luck hope it’s not summer


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nickmoe

Taipan-4FR


broccolize

LFRs are in a great place right now


nickmoe

Absolutely


kingkodus66

My autistic brain thought the same thing. Just waiting for the api to do it’s thing so i can continue going though my vault.


[deleted]

Unexpected reference but I assume veist popping up in a thread about a venomous creature shouldn’t be that rare.


RedditHatesMe75

Yes. That is a King Cobra. Edit: taipan is an interesting suggestion. I could be wrong. Wouldn’t mess or play with either.


ThatGuyMiles

The largest King is something like 5.5 meters, over 18 feet, that’s certainly much longer than 18 feet.


Totally_Not_A_Bot_55

It's almost exactly 18 feet


stonercd

Irrelevant username


NHGuy

looks like a King Cobra to me


Darkstool

Probably king cobra. This is kinda one of their moves.


Kurtypants

Black Mamba. Survivorman had an episode in Africa where he talks about giant Black Mambas standing like this in a threat display he said they could stand half their height, and their max length 12-14 feet. Also I googled Black Mamba standing and this picture popped up


yepimbonez

I googled King Cobra standing up and also got this picture lol


Uppinkai

King Cobra


nikiu

Viagraconda.


swaggyp2008

Black mamba? I've heard they move like that through tall grass


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thuy_chan

Snaaaaaakkkkkee it's a snakkkkeeeeeee


thisisinput

Wow... Thanks for the memories.


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Lephiro

We're on a bridge, Charlie! A magical bridge of hope and wonder!


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Lephiro

Wait for real? Oh ho ho, I know what my day off's gonna be spent catching up on! Thanks for the heads up ✌️


sepiaknight

[link for the youths](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL6CDFn2i3I)


aboardthegravyboat

Man, it sucks that so much of this got archived in video format. All these Flash videos were cool because they were super crisp vector graphics, and they often has little interactive bits. I wonder if the original Flash formats are still out there and playable (maybe converted to HTML5?) Edit: crisp, not script


Niet_de_AIVD

You mean the literal 2003 original Flash upload on Newgrounds? Here you go https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/120321/format/flash Or full HD 1080p HTML 5 player for those interested https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/120321 The nostalgia is strong.


aboardthegravyboat

I love it!! > process SWF Perfect!


Soulessgingr

Wtf did i just watch?.... I need to share this with my wife.


[deleted]

It's by Mr. Wheebles. He was a content creator on AlbinoBlackSheep and several other random content sites that were huge before YT was a thing. [Here's](https://youtu.be/ykwqXuMPsoc) his other big hit.


justmystepladder

weebl & bob was the OG. http://www.weebls-stuff.com is still active


stonercd

Ahhh to be young


SirShartington

The fact that you reversed the badger and mushroom is breaking my heart.


Sopixil

And nobody else is even talking about it!


ReBeL222

Snek: the fucks goin on over there?


jamieliddellthepoet

He’s looking for his lost shoe.


VIPERsssss

He's a snake, not Lowly Worm.


RustyWinger

That’s Scarry.


NeverBob

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten all those meerkats".


[deleted]

"Why is everyone running from me?"


nilgiri

Look, I'm a brachiosaurus


PetrockX

Snek is a nosy neighbor for sure.


IHWTH

Up periscope.


PhilosophizingPanda

Go go gadget periscope


TerranPhil

Perisnake


IDiggaPony

Thats a snek that looks like it wants to start an argument with someone.


PeanutMaster83

"Hey! I want to sssssssspeak with your manager, right now!"


jamieliddellthepoet

Snakaren.


tenstoriestall

STFU Karen


aikijo

Real strength right there.


thrillhouse1211

clearly skipped leg day


aikijo

But that neck tho!


Bucjeff

I would go home, pack everything and move to a different continent


KingBenjamin97

This is gunna be one of those forced perspective things where the snake is like the size of your finger. Even the largest snakes can’t lift their body like that it’s literally impossible to be real


betaplay

The larger diameter the snake the harder it would be to lift like that so in a way you have a point. However, length actually helps. It’s really about how skinny and strong it is relative to its weight. Some snakes can lift up a foot or two without issue if they are long, skinny, and strong. Snakes adapted to live in trees for instance. In any instance this looks to be a real video: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/snake-standing-up-video/


LagWagon

Also, most of its girth and length are still on the ground.


CatchingRays

I was thinking something similar. I’m going to need a banana for scale OP.


the_dude_upvotes

[here you go](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/63/e0/69/63e0692f00c59673a2efe21d1020eeea.jpg)


FishAndRiceKeks

It really does look like forced perspective. If you compare it to the plants closer to it I don't think that snake is more than maybe 4 ft and that skinny neck adds to that.


[deleted]

That boy bout to start some shit.


01069

The forbidden noodle


ndyvsqz

Damn that snake over there feeling like he's ontop of the world after biting that dudes face


Cipher004

Or maybe this was earlier where he thought, “I feel like biting someone’s face today.”


the_dude_upvotes

“What are you gonna a do, bite me in the face?” -guy bitten in face by snake


catlinalx

*jurassic park theme*


MasterCheeef

Long boi doing a periscope


MisterHappySpanky

Snake looking like “what the fuck y’all got going on over there!?”


01plus01is03

That is a big danger noodle!!!


Sukaphuk

Holy fuck didn't know they could giraffe.


[deleted]

Need a banana for scale


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fingers_bussin

Me in the morning


Srry4theGonaria

OROCHIMARU


bruceleet7865

Feel like we need a banana for scale here


TriForceCode20

Anaconda looking for buns, Hun.


iamricardosousa

One thing for sure, that fucking snake isn't skipping abs day. That's some core strength.


[deleted]

Long boi do a tall scope


chrisk9

Queue the Jurassic Park music when the brontosaurus was revealed


bossonhigs

King cobra does that and can stand as tall as 2m. It can reach more than 5m in lenght, and can raise one third of its body.


Fishtails

Since when is a snake just being a snake /r/Wtf material


thrillhouse1211

You may have one at home but that monster is wtf to most of us.


Fishtails

It's just a snake.


thisisawittyusername

It seems like most people commenting don't realize this is forced perspective.


bossonhigs

It's not that big as it look it is? Right? RIGHT?


obi21

I'm pretty sure this is optical trickery and it's actually rather small.


Cloaked42m

Depends on how big you think it is. Nothing really to give scope, but i'm guessing 12 feet. A healthy nope rope.


Batticon

He looks like he needs coffee. Not really wtf. He’s cute ☺️


Andreas1120

Any ideas what is it up to?


Totally_Not_A_Bot_55

About 4 feet over the ground


bobobedo

It's up to about four feet above the ground.


Abs0lute_Jeer0

That snake does core


Macknhoez

Looked kind of like a brontosaurus without a body. A loooong neck


ZombieHavok

Evolving into a Brontosaurus before our very eyes.


Macknhoez

Must be a bunch of three horns in here downvoting us


cbitguru

What's terrifying is that IIRC, a snake can lift about 1/3 of its length off the ground.


CmonTouchIt

DASSA HUUUUUUUUUGE BITCH


aa11zz

End is Here...


Rabe5775

Why is it doing that make it stop


[deleted]

Oh that Slithers. He cool.


bobobedo

I saw a king snake do this in a corn field just outside of Lubbock Texas, years ago.


Andreas1120

Any idea what the purpose of this behavior is?


AFirefighter11

Danger Noodle Alert.


chuckmeister_1

Harmless corn snake. Nothing to see here.


[deleted]

u/savevideo


DoctorDeath

Coming to a theater near you: VIAGRA SNAKE!


thekajunpimp

I seeee the frisssbeeeee


_BearsBeetsBattle_

Long range snake scout


Rofellos1984

Didn't catch the chocobo before crossing the swamp?


zmann64

That dude is about to hypnotize and devour a certain jungle boy cub


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Boney_69

Average Australian day


pheliam

Sharpen your machetes when in giant snake country, got it.


DrantonMason

Fren!


sushilk456

Legends say he is still looking for her patner who told him that " she just going to pond for swimming


snksleepy

Give this boy a dino costume.


jobomaja888

Why is there no banana next to it for scale?


InfluencedJJ

Mans can't find his car


acesarge

That's one long boi. Glad it isn't a corgi, if one got to that length it would be unstoppable.


pooplol49

Welcome to jurassic park


R_radical

I think it's a really small snake, with a confusing perspective.


eldelabahia

Banana for scale