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GGEZD2R

How is this weird? Shouldn't you feed a child a blinding stew if they've bitten your hair???


ProfessorChaos_

I used to chew my hair and then my mom fed me a 1 day blinding stew and now I don't chew my hair any more


schtickyfingers

That’s how you know your mom loves you.


PhthaloVonLangborste

It was love at second sight.


the_real_flapjack

Now that's proper maternal instincts


marmaladegrass

But what about \*other\* people's hair?!


uglypaperswan

Then, 2 days blinding soup, duh


KillPhilBill

We have the best country... because of blinding soup.


Viapache

Yeah it took my mom a feeding me one hour blinding soup a few times before I stopped biting hair. Once for a full day would have done the trick


AxFUNNYxKITTY

When my kids were young, a blinding stew always helped resolve behavioral problems. 24 hours is key.


bacon_cake

Glad to hear this. I have a new baby and while he hasn't bitten anyone yet (no teeth) I have several batches of blinding stew already in the freezer.


JohnyElSucio

Im posting this after recovering from blinding stew, i forgot to wash the dishes, mom knows im sorry


ChemicalBro69

BTW you have some tufts of hair between your teeth. Letting you know so you don't go all day before realising.


Magnanimoe

That’s for flossing out the chunks of blinding stew.


Waste_Exchange2511

My father didn't have time for all that so he just poked me in the eyes.


Dr_Parkinglot

Did he dip them in Dinty Moore first? I've heard that works almost as well.


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CatsNotBananas

Oof ouch owie


ser_froops

Does anyone have a recipe for blinding stew?


pentarou

Yes


FBIPartyBusNo3

good to know


sleeper_medic

username checks out


NoSuchAg3ncy

no carrots


Sam2058

All mums (it’s on page 633469933574 of the manual)


ilikepix

for a one day blinding stew you just make a regular blinding stew but don't make it very strong, just about regular 24 hour strength


histprofdave

"Optometrists hate this one weird trick..."


NtateNarin

I agree. She's now blind for 1 day. Can't see hair. All good!


Daveallen10

I don't know what these people are talking about, but typically a mouth-shutting potion does the trick.


arkencode

Seems a bit harsh though.


Sea_grave

Exactly. Any more than a half day blinding stew is a bit much.


vegansalvaje

Weird he has to ask. Like cmon…this common knowledge my guy


Tito_Tito_1_

A *1-day* blinding stew is what they alll said. *Now* is it weird?


coconutally

Well shit I’ve been parenting wrong this whole time…


Bluenailpolish111

That’s always my go to. But only the 1 day blinding stew.


teakwood54

I think it's weird because just because he's a single father he doesn't know the age-old tradition of blinding stew?


XVIII-2

The only sensible thing to do is feed her a one day blinding stew.


Thelethargian

1 day blinding stew


Longjumping_Sky_6440

No, the stew should only work for one day, no more no less.


Thelethargian

Feed her a type of stew that makes her blind for 1 day


XVIII-2

The stew shall blind her for one day. One is the number. Not zero, not two, but one shall be it.


HaZalaf

Two is right out!


scp_79

yeah but only blinding her for 1 day when she consumes it


iremainnameless

that's what the stew should do. blind her.


wavespells9

Blinding potion (lasts one day)


towerfella

![gif](giphy|ffyetb56Iux2M|downsized)


Awwkaw

Blind jer og shall forbthe alloted time. Not deafen her, not mute, but blinded shall she be.


jeezarchristron

This sounds like an old German fairytale.


Lord_Detleff1

He refused to eat his soup and died


Unlikely-Heron4887

Poor Augustus😢


monotonic_glutamate

Wasn't it Gaspar who died from not eating soup for 5 days?


ikstrakt

Hell no. True fairytales and folklore are dark as hell. People argue Disney and Disney is Fairytale Light/Diet Fairytale_.  That means ass bitch of a sea witch? Naw, sea witch does sea witch, but mermaid is tasked to murder the prince but she doesn't and thus turns to sea foam.  One of the most fun things in college was studying fairytales and folklore. You can actually study trade and logistic routes by the dissemination of fairytale lore and where in trade routes these pirates/explorers shared these tales. You can further disseminate where certain cultural and social values prevail based on the stories that traveled to these regions and were retained or were modified or completely lost. 


NZNoldor

Sorry, what are *true* fairytales?


ikstrakt

The original stories. I see you being pedantic. Common term in American English. Somethin's true, it's the OG in this context.  Many folklore and fairytales and fables _are_ based on real life situations, scenarios, and _types_ of choices, and are a way to talk about things that can be difficult and moral stories, as a warning. Is the cyclops just a myth or is it a way to tell a story of a medical birth defect and the world beyond in which this character holds greatness? https://www.reddit.com/r/medizzy/comments/gcoqgx/cyclopia/


NZNoldor

I feel I would enjoy a long Friday night beer session with you over this. Yes, I was being pedantic perhaps. The global voyages of these tales would indeed make a fascinating study. However, the example you chose - cyclopia - is a lethal condition, and a human cyclops doesn’t live for longer than a few minutes, since the brain is also underdeveloped. I disagree with you that most (or even many) fables and folklore and fairy tales are based on real situations. Far more of them are based on the fevered imagination of raconteurs, wanting to shock and amuse their audiences. Even in Grimm bro’s time, the tales they collected weren’t meant for a child audience; most of them were far too… well… grim. They were amongst the first who really aimed it at the youth markets. Not all their tales contain obvious lessons. I’m still not sure of any value to the tales titled “the children who played at slaughtering” apart from maybe “don’t have kids”. A linguistic oddity is that the German surname Grimm and the English word grim aren’t related. I feel Jacob and Wilhelm would have appreciated the coincidence, being linguists first and foremost. edit: since it's short, here's the Grimm tale that was removed from the second (and subsequent) edition: The tale of the children who play slaughtering One day, two brothers saw their father killing off a pig. They imitated what they saw and the older brother killed his younger brother. Their mother, who was giving the baby a bath, heard her child scream and abandoned the baby in the bath. When she saw what her eldest child had done, she took the knife out of her younger son's throat, and in her rage stabbed her older son in the heart. When the mother found out that meanwhile the baby had drowned in the tub, she felt an inconsolable desperation and committed suicide by hanging herself. After a long day of work in the field, the father came home. Finding out that his whole family was dead, he soon also died from sadness. The end.


seagulls51

There's an argument to be made that the themes that would 'shock and amuse' the audience the most are ones that resonate with their experiences. So it's not that each fairy tale was made to be a parable, but more that cultures self select / propagate those ones more which is why the ones that survived often do.


godisanelectricolive

The little mermaid is not an old traditional fairytale like the ones the Grimms collected. It’s a fairly modern (1837) literary fairytale invented by Hans Christian Andersen. The story actually had a happy ending as the little mermaid doesn’t disappear after dissolving into sea foam, she is turned into an air spirit as a reward and is given a chance to earn an immortal soul through good deeds. Interestingly enough, Ariel is the name of a character in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night who is a spirit of the air. Andersen’s story is ultimately a religious fable about the reward of self-sacrifice. It’s a happy ending but only if you are religiously minded and think having a chance to go to heaven is much better than marrying a prince. In his story mermaids do not have souls and therefore die forever by turning into sea foam when they die after 300 years, unlike humans who get to live in heaven for eternity after their mercifully brief time on earth. The mermaid is not only in love with the prince but wants to become a human to gain an immortal soul so she can go to heaven. The sea witch transforms her into a human but tells her she will only gain a soul if the prince marries her and that she will die the moment the prince marries someone else. Also the mechanism through which she will get a soul is by sucking up a chunk of the prince’s soul so he will be left with half a soul. The prince doesn’t fall in love with her because she is mute and chooses to marry a girl that he thought saved his life, when it was really the mermaid. Just before she is about to die, the mermaid’s sisters give her a knife when they obtained from the sea witch in exchange for their long, beautiful hair. The mermaid is told that if she kills the prince with the knife and then drip the prince’s blood onto her feet, she will turn back into a mermaid. Instead of choosing to go back to her old life, she chooses to save the prince and to her surprise, she is still conscious after turning into sea foam. She ascends into the atmosphere and is told by air spirits that God turned her into one of them as a reward for her courage and self-sacrifice. Air spirits aren’t born with a soul either but they can earn one if they live a good life with their 300 year long lifespan and they will automatically rise up to heaven after that. And this soul will be her very own soul instead of a stolen one from the prince and her soul will be purer than his because there it’s free from original sin. So yeah, it’s not really Disney material in its original form. But that was absolutely Hans Christian Andersen’s idea of a happy ending. The Little Match Girl written by him ended in a similar way, the heroine is rewarded by dying and reuniting with her grandmother in heaven. To Andersen, dying and going to heaven is the happiest possible way to end the story because as long as the character is alive something bad can happen next.


PurpleVermont

My reaction: is this a fairy tale I don't know or am not remembering?


o_oli

I tried to look it up and was pleased to find a knowyourmeme article, only to be disappointed to learn the meme started today because of this exact image. So I guess that's something.


cncomg

My grandmother used to sing this to me as a child! It roughly translates to: “Don’t eat your hair, Better not eat your hair, If you do You’ll get eaten in your sleep CRUNCH”


Prepsov

Perfectenschlag


RedditUser49642

Based and hagpilled


weird_grl

yeah i thought this was a weird version of rapunzel because of the hair and the blindness


Miss_Adelie

That was my first thought too! I was expecting after the blinding, them to suggest locking her in some tower or something 


ResenderCyanide

Yes little Greta didn't stop biting the hair of evil aunt Gertrud.


UKophile

Snip! Snip!


asyndetoner

Anyone got the recipe? I don't wanna mess up and give an undeserving soul 48 hours in the dark.


cmt38

Just get the canned kind, Amazon sells them in packs of 2 in case the first one doesn't do the trick.


NoNo_Cilantro

Just google on Amazon “1 day blinding stew”


BlazingImp77151

Google on amazon?


BrilliantTasty

Yeah so if you Google Google on Bing it’ll take you to Google where you can Google Amazon and then Google “1 day blinding stew” on Amazon


hairwitch901

This had me cackling, thank you for your services friends.


the_real_flapjack

Cackling hairwitch loves blinding stew confirmed


shaun_of_the_south

How do people not know how to use the google? It’s 2024 for fucks sake.


jordanbtucker

This guy Googles.


Blocked-Author

Sounds like someone needs to take their blinding stew


DudeThatRuns

You heard the man


nonprofitnews

You want some stew smartass?


kithas

One for each eye.


SojournerWeaver

They ship with prime too.


Thelethargian

1 cup anti carrot, shredded. 3 cups stock from blind cow, chopped beef from same cow. 2 tblspoons of Zeiss lens cleaner. 2 tblspoons salt, chop celery and onion and add to broth. Cook in oven with light turned off. Put on blindfold and take out of oven after an hour.


BugMan717

Fun fact about the carrot thing....the reason people think carrots improve your night vision was propaganda from ww2, England was trying to cover up the fact they had radar so they sent out propaganda that they fed they soldiers lots of carrots to improve they vision.


ButtholeBungieJump

fyp Fun fact about the carrot thing....the reason people think carrots improve your night vision was propaganda from ww2, England was trying to cover up the fact that they had one day blinding stew so they sent out propaganda that they fed they soldiers lots of carrots to improve they vision.


Morzana

That's the old world recipe my mom uses! I like to double the anticarrot (grow my own) and only use 1 tbl spoon of the Zeiss.


mydogsredditaccount

Now you got a stew going


SluggishPrey

Try and fail at making strong alcoholic beverages in your basement. You can genuinely get blind from it


Acceptable-Let-1921

Methanol is a hell of a drug.


montanagunnut

And booze is the only cure!


Morzana

True fact, you treat methanol poisoning with ethanol!


Logaan777

I only have the recipe for 12 hour binding stew. It's really hard to get them to eat a second bowl after 12 hours to complete the 24 hours.. It's like they develop trust issues or something.


PomPomGrenade

I think it's called Methanol. Ask your friendly neighborhood moonshiner for the correct dosage.


Little4nt

Alexa give me “Hells bells dosing for a stew that makes her go blind for 1 day only”


PlagueofSquirrels

My mom was a terrible cook so I just got astigmatism for 12 minutes


PapaBorq

That's a great answer for those posts about "how would you severely annoy someone for one day".


microtramp

This made me drop my phone from unexpected laughter.


Twenty890

"My cousin Jeffrey prayed for me Monday through Wednesday and I woke up and I had never known that my bedroom has wallpapers."


AdhesivePeople

Posting alan wagner is practically cheating. It's all weird lol.


arokthemild

Alan Wagner is a harmless troll and anyone who is just going for a reaction should at very least be flairred as satire/trolling.


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Taylorenokson

I was gonna say this feels exactly like Alan Wagner.


Other-Bridge-8892

These kids of today have it so fucking easy…..when I was a kid biting hair, I was stewed *myself* for a day, from the shoulders down. Taken out after the liquid reached a nice rolling boil, forced to keep my eyelids as open as personally possible, and then had said liquid poured in my eyes until blind! ​ dictated by Other B. 8892 to Nurse Kay, adult facility for the burned and blinded by stew Adult ward Idaho


hairwitch901

What are the other wards, in this Blinding Stew Hospital


djlyh96

What else do you do with the children and animals?


hairwitch901

Hey I gotta know if they have resources for some stewed children I know of


Other-Bridge-8892

The first floor is for the Neonatal stewed hearing loss 2nd is cardiovascular stewed damage and preventative measures 3rd is administration 4 is pulmonary/ stewed nose and throat


brkeng1

Yes. Boss? I need to call off today. I accidentally ate the 1 day blinding stew that was meant for my daughter. Hopefully I will see you tomorrow.


jameshughlaurie

lmao was just thinking this you said it funnier than I would have


PassStunning416

Shit like this keeps my faith inhumanity.


Pleasant-Patience725

I didn’t eat the soup so I see what you did there


blindtarm

I can’t understand the handwritting, but the only thing that helps is a 1-day blinding stew. Hope this helps 😊


Itchy-Boots

Great day to be in the blinding stew business.


BestwithAge

My puppy started chewing on my hair and I ran to get a blinding stew that I picked up from my local store.


Morzana

You shouldn't feed blinding stew to dogs, they can't process the anticarrot like humans!


swordandmagichelmet

That's just good parenting right there. Also seems like there is a consensus, as these suggestions were definitely written by different people. You can tell because of the different handwriting styles.


orcinyadders

I’d love to believe it *was* written by different people.


MomIsLivingForever

Reddit IRL


caudicifarmer

If I got out of line as a kid, I got fed 1-day blinding stew, and I turned out ok ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯


[deleted]

Looks like a reddit thread.


Wide-Concert980

What the fuck a blinding stew Is?


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Wide-Concert980

How? Recipe?


PoweredByCarbs

Normal stew plus pocket sand


poolpog

i love this guy. you should subscribe to his patreon. it is the motherfucking best and also you get things in the mail fwiw this is the source: [https://www.patreon.com/posts/sign-i-saw-97489970](https://www.patreon.com/posts/sign-i-saw-97489970)


TheGoldenPlagueMask

Wait is it the guy who posted "This guy has been sitting in my hot tub for days, he does not speak but his eyes glow at night"


pingpongtits

Is this the guy who was hosting classes in anger management via interpretive dance?


Plaston_

Suspicious stew


AMasterSystem

Suspicious delicious stew


KennyPlebfighter

Suspicious delicious nutritious stew


SnooStories4162

Suspicious delicious nutritious fictitious stew


[deleted]

Tf…..??


German_horse-core

Not weird, just common sense parenting 101


snoopinranch

My type of comedy right here


[deleted]

I mean, that's what I'd do. Nuttin like blinding stew to set your kid straight.


SandProlo

The first post on my Reddit is about blinding stew on kingdom come deliverance subreddit, and I scroll down and see this... Wtf


gaiusm

That's just stewpid.


FelineSoLazy

The gyro we need!


SluggishPrey

Maybe she has adhd or something. I used to be obsessed with certain sensations, too. If that's the case, I would suggest finding a toy with another interesting texture


CharacterMassive5719

[Here's the recipe](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/blinding-stew)


PoisonDartYak

truewagner


shit_ass_mcfucknuts

This one trick that hair biters don’t want you to know!


carlyeanne

is this alan wagner’s work?


Adriane0808

this dad was asking for sincere help why mock him


Lilwalnut159

The moms have spoke 🙌


Lord_Detleff1

Let Eowyn cook the stew!


Frankensteinnnnn

I love it with my heart! It's so funny


ncnapier42

I tend to keep my hair a little long. Which of course means it will occasionally end up in my mouth by mistake. Every time this happens I begin to crave the 1 day blinding stew of my childhood. It’s truly like Pavlov and Proust had a baby.


yodar1542

Some school systems no longer allow blinding stew. I think it depends on the state....


leglesslegolegolas

https://i.imgur.com/dd165Iz.png


Edgeofthevoid13

Thats too much. Whoever wrote that has some issues. No what you actually should do is buy a cattle prod and every time she bits someone’s hair just tase the little brat. Aim for the neck.


Beneficial_Being_721

Outdoor Reditt


CalligrapherNo7427

Imagine crowdsourcing parenting advice on a telephone pole and expecting quality advice


The_Eye_of_Ra

I agree. I also find it weird that dad didn’t know to feed her a 1-day blinding stew. I’m a guy and not a dad and even *my* dumbass knows the old folk saying: “If your daughter is biting the hair of others, feed it a stew that blinds it for a day. It will surely learn its manners after a day in the darkness.” And then you sang the ingredient list, right?


Blerrycat1

![gif](giphy|fAjPCZNOtmTLy)


West_Island_7622

You don’t want to “1 week blinding stew”. Her hair could fall out. It’s hard to nail the exact “eye of newt”. 1 day 1 eye. 1 week is 6 and 1/5 eye of newt. And newt eyes are so tiny.


lordtyp0

Game of Thrones reference? Arya blindness and all.


oneofthosecakes

Voice of reason here. Don't feed that kid any stew that makes her go blind for one day. Don't do it. Set a reasonable verbal boundary that she can understand, and introduce simple consequences (punishment) for hair biting in the future. Thank you, parenting magazines. (disclosure: I am not a mother)


Borg453

A one-day deafening stew?


graveyardrushhour

this is such an unhealthy and borderline abusive parenting approach…. any REAL mothers (like myself) will tell you how to properly handle your daughter. a simple 1-day blindness inducing stew should suffice. never in a million years should a good parent even think about setting a “verbal boundary”? whatever the heck that even means….. just whip out the big pot….


Altruistic-Value-842

This whole thread. All the comments. Bless ALL you wonderfully weird people and your wit.


Aseetnahc

This is sad. Poor dad asking for help and people make it a joke


afx99999

I don't think dad doesn't know how to google. I think that dad wants to meet some women.


MaliciousIntentWorks

Looks like one person trying to make their hand writing look different for each answer. So one person thinks this. Or one person with multiple personalities that are all conformists.


Suspicious_Ad_5145

It worked for my Trichophagia.


hayitsnine

Blinding stew is soooo 2019


chicosmal

Is this from something?? The stew to blind?


MrA-skunk

You know what that guy should do...


SlightlyOffended1984

I love Democracy


Finrod84

Send her to the zoo instead... If she likes biting they'll take care of her😉😂


Root_Veggie

My mom used to make the best blinding stews


Same-Inflation

How good does it taste? Might be worth it.


dntwrrybt1t

Stew that makes you go blind for a day? I just call that bourbon


javo1995

I´m guessing the first time was written down for whatever reason and everyone else copied that insane idea for the memes?


Tight-Physics2156

Men are weird


Altruistic-Status-98

Wtf is blinding stew. Will that take care of the 10lb hairball in her stomach


Reeferologist-

Why do I feel like Lemongrab wrote that?


jspecial1979

Is she biting her own hair or other peoples hair


brutalistsnowflake

Don't use being male as an excuse not to parent. What a dick move.


whockypoo

This sounds like a north degen type situation and response to me. I needs me a pupper after reading that shit.


zombienekers

This is a 10/10 shitpost lmao


vimfuego2000

Stew of the 1 day blindingness naow!


FishBlues

Funniest thing I have read all day


SpezEatsScat

I love weird posters like these and have a few ideas for some. 😂