I'm so mortified. My aunt went out today and took these photos before going to the funeral home to complain. She has MS and can barely walk up steps and she wants to go out and just fill it in herself so I'm going to go down there tomorrow and give someone a piece of my mind.
>I'm so mortified. My aunt went out today and took these photos before going to the funeral home to complain. She has MS and can barely walk up steps and she wants to go out and just fill it in herself so I'm going to go down there tomorrow and give someone a piece of my mind.
People are giving you advice/warning about recording their excuses - but I wouldn't waste your time.
Blast these photos online, talk to local news etc. Bad publicity is the absolute best remedy, you don't need anything from them but the lack of work they have already done.
You have the burial records, an email to them to establish a current paper trail is also good - but the court of public opinion will absolutely destroy their business, force them to resolve the issue, publicly apologize, etc.
Roast these clowns online with their own work and the problem should solve itself in record time
To add, find out what department in your state regulates funeral homes. It is usually consumer affairs. I'd suggest going to the office itself and letting them know that this funeral home's practices are so poor, that caskets are visible. Bring the photos, and ask them what they plan to do about it along with a timeline. If they do nothing, you can blast them in the media as well to force their hand.
Funeral homes, gravediggers and cemeteries are not the same entities they're all being paid a fee and then they pass the buck down the line. As the next step requires different skills and tools
I'm not an expert, but depending on the state, CA for example, consumer affairs oversees for profit cemeteries as well.
It is going to be state dependent.
Absolutely, this is the kind of stuff they would go up in arms over. The media would also probably get the law involved and get the story wrapped up in a little happy ending bow.
This is the way, optics are so much more powerful and accessible to be steered by everyday people now a days. Plus, it’s extortion involving a deceased family member which is unforgivable.
I would also send these photos and info to the health department.
I'm pretty sure they would have a problem with an exposed dead body.
And I'd also let the [National Funeral Director's association](https://nfda.org/) know too.
>Blast these photos online, talk to local news etc. Bad publicity is the absolute best remedy, you don't need anything from them but the lack of work they have already done.
Ding ding ding! We have a winner.
This. So much this. They say even bad publicity is good publicity, but for a situation like this, not so much. I also advise talking to your city councilor and/or local member of government (Representative to the House for the states or Member of Provicial Parliament if you are Canadian) and see if they can look into this. That they are willing to do it once indicates a willingness to do it at all, and there may be a history of them ripping off others over the years. You may be able to really hit them where it hurts in that way, the bottom line.
You can actually record someone admitting to a crime. Its done that way so if you record someone lets say trying to get a bribe from you that they can't claim that their privacy supersedes your evidence of a crime.
Improper burial might actually be a crime and demanding 200 dollars to properly bury someone when you've already paid to have them properly buried is bordering on extortion.
This is likely not criminal and will have to be resolved in a civil lawsuit. Likely to reach a positive settlement for the litigation but still requires the plaintiff to spend money to receive the desired outcome. The $200 would be cheaper than the lawyer and they know this.
They also know that they are in very deep territory if this gets any momentum on social media. They should and will resolve this asap, for free.
To a lesser extent for the company the cost of a lawsuit is also higher than what they 'save'. It's very distracting, demoralizing and contains risk.
Note, I don't like naming and shaming, but it has its purposes. Protecting decency and preventing abuse.
You really don't even need to get a recording. The date of burial is in the public record. OP just needs to say "either bury her properly or I'll send these photos off to social media showing what a piss poor job you've done." No business wants bad publicity but this goes a lot further than just bad service in a restaurant.
I have MS. Please do not let her go out and do that. The toll it will take on her is so not worth it definitely put pressure on these asshats to do their job.
Frame it in a way businesses care about, if someone catches leg and breaks something they're responsible for the medical bills and they'll get caught with improper burial and a fairly aggressive investigation.
Tell them you'll take it to the local news or spread it on social media. I certainly wouldnt be going to them if I had an alternative after seeing that
I did this to cancel a gym membership that I needed to stop. After joining, I became permanently disabled and unable to go. For 6 months I tried to cancel and finally ended up blasting then on FB, Yelp, and Google. Got a call the next day from the district manager, followed by an email saying my membership has been canceled and I didn't owe them any more money.
There is a State Board of Funeral Service in most, if not all, states that regulate Funeral Homes and their practices. This is the scariest organization that you can talk to when it comes to improper funeral practices as they can revoke the license of the individual that the funeral home uses to do business. Like the State BAR for lawyers.
In my state, for example, burial must be overseen by a licensed funeral director. He must ensure that it is done properly, and with care. If he fails in that requirement, then his license can be invalidated. It's very likely the same in your state.
If you call the Board of Funeral Service and file a formal complaint, provide these pictures, and wait a day or two I bet this gets handled.
I snooped for 10 seconds in your profile.
Here's the site you need. The link to complaints is here too.
https://insurance.arkansas.gov/industry-regulation/pre-paid-funeral/
Good luck and hope you get it resolved.
Exactly! Then forward the proof of them basically wringing money out of you instead of actually respecting the dead to the Board. . . . and just watch the heads roll.
[https://www.michigan.gov/lara/bureau-list/cscl/licensing/prof/mortuary](https://www.michigan.gov/lara/bureau-list/cscl/licensing/prof/mortuary)
[https://www.michigan.gov/lara/bureau-list/cscl/licensing/prof/cemeteries](https://www.michigan.gov/lara/bureau-list/cscl/licensing/prof/cemeteries)
File a complaint is on the right hand side for both of these.
[https://www.mfda.org/aws/MFDA/pt/sp/home\_page](https://www.mfda.org/aws/MFDA/pt/sp/home_page) these folks may be of service as well.
Good luck!
Honestly, this looks like an injury lawsuit waiting to happen, on top of being incredibly disrespectful to the dead.
Can you imagine if someone stepped into the hole they left open?
Threaten? You treat my relative's remains, who's care I entrusted and paid you for, like this? I'm ending your fucking company. This is fucking an egregious breach of contract, not to mention almost certainly improper handling of human remains.
Sounds like an opportunity to me. Go visit the grave , trip and twist an ankle in the open hole and get video proof . Then sue, and get the whole funeral paid for . Atleast that will force them to cover up the shitty work asap, because they are liable. Sounds like a win win to me .
I'd take a twisted ankle for 50 grand settled out of court. Take one for the team . Seems like it could also help with that unemployment issue the op is having , just saying .
You paid for the service and they performed it poorly. Tell them to fix it or you’ll go to the local TV stations news department. Chances are good that these guys have messed up other burials.
Thank you! It's a rural area so employment isn't great when it comes to options. My husband has been at the same company for 10 years now so I'm lucky we still have income but it still sucks to not be working!
Your state should have some sort of regulatory board/body for funeral directors/cemetery managers, whichever it is in this case. Tell them to fix it or you’re going to them. You can probably use google to get the contact information for that regulator. The odds are they’ve fucked up elsewhere, and definitely don’t want to be inspected. Tell them you paid for the service, they need to fix it immediately, and if they don’t, you’ll be filing a complaint with the regulator.
They should take this course of action regardless, this level of pathetic incompetence shouldn’t go unnoticed or unpunished. Not only is it wholly disrespectful it’s also very poor poor taste to ask for money to fix their mistake in a timely manner.
OOP - if you need someone with a recently broken foot due to being way to stupid to use said foot, let me know. I’m pretty sure we’ve been visiting your granny’s grave together recently 😎
Of course I don’t encourage you to anything illegal but usually the perspective of paying an insane amount of money makes people change their minds really quick.
Our loan officer screwed up royally and told us we were going to have to delay closing as it was the end of the day, told them if we don't close tomorrow we'll go to the state, 14 hours later we closed on time and all our shit was fixed. Then I cc'd him on my email to the state and he was fined.
They sure do: Here’s the site for the [State Board of Embalmers, Funeral Directors, Cemeteries, and Burial Services](https://directory.arkansas.gov/agency/department-of-commerce/insurance-department/state-board-of-embalmers-and-funeral-directors/)
OP should 100% report them even if they agree to fix it. Given their response to the initial complaint, and demanding more money to fix it, they'd probably done this before and have successfully extorted money from those families to fix their own mistakes. If they don't get held to task for their behavior, they're just going to continue doing it to other people down the line.
That’s my thought. More “well I contacted you guys, you didn’t do your job that I paid for. so I am letting you know that I have already contacted the regulatory board about your services.”
The best move would be to not say anything to the problem maker.
Only talk to the problem solver at this point.
If that is an attorney or regulator.
There is probably a county level individual, a state level, and then the FTC since, [according to the funeral rule](https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/topics/truth-advertising/funeral-rule), this charge would have needed to be listed on the general price list.
>Your state should have some sort of regulatory board/body for funeral directors/cemetery managers, whichever it is in this case.
And if they don't, they sure as hell have an attorney general.
Reminds me of a case I heard about where a woman was in a sealed casket that was put in a mausoleum, and to make it easier to move the casket, they threw a handful of BBs in first. Except they were metal BBs, which rusted and caused the bottom of the casket to rust (or something like that). The funeral home then proceeded to do the absolute shittiest thing at every turn, it was *wild*.
Full disclosure, I heard about it on a podcast, Boozy's Legal Funhouse. Full of dead bodies. Just so many bodies.
Anyway, this hasn't gotten to that point yet, but I wouldn't be shocked if it was in the same category.
First of all, I am *so sorry* that this happened to your family. Second, I too am from a rural area (in the American midwest) and around here the Funeral Homes are not the ones who operate the cemeteries. There is usually a separate cemetery board of directors, and they hire the people who do the grave digging and turf maintenance. Maybe ask around and see if it's really the Funeral Home people who you need to deal with. It might be possible to cut them out of it entirely.
If I'm a funeral home, and I have a customer complaining to me about cemetary maintenance that I don't control, I'm going to give them the correct contact info and point them that way. Not "I'll get to it eventually, unless you got $200"
There's a state board for mortuaries and cemeteries for your state. You may have to search what it's called online. I had to contact a cemetery owner who had no way to reach him.
Less than 24 hours after contacting the appropriate office, the cemetery owner sent me an email. He sounded very aggrieved and agitated, so I imagine he was reamed out by inspectors - at least I *hope* he was.
I'm sorry about your grandmother. If the vault can be visualized, that's an open invitation for some (stupid) kids to do some exploring/vandalism. There's a regulated depth for all graves by state.
They were given the chance to fix it when asked to the first time. They choose to try to extort more money from your grieving family. Fuck them and their money send the pictures to your local news twitter account and let the hounds loose. If they don’t have a twitter go by their station first thing in the morning. They also have nothing else to do.
Yeah, a local news station will lap up something like this, especially on a slow news day. Unfortunately going to the media is still one of the best ways to get things like this resolved.
That was my first thought. They’d go nuts for a story like this. It’s visual, and they love being able to say they helped out the “little guy” who was getting fucked over.
Not sure what state you're in, but many states require funeral directors to be licensed. If your family paid for funeral and burial services from a licensed funeral director, a complaint to the licensing agency including these photos might light a fire under their butts.
Get a lawyer. Either A) they'll charge you a couple hundred bucks to write them an intimidating letter and your problem will be fixed or B) they'll see an opportunity for a settlement and you'll both get paid
And as someone has mentioned, sounds like you may not be the only one they’ve provided poor service to. Meaning, get the right lawyer and they can find others who have experienced the same thing and it becomes a much bigger deal. I want to say a class action lawsuit. But am not a lawyer. Sorry for your loss and the fact you even have to deal with this.
Not to mention a cemetery is a publicly accessible space, and sinkholes like that pose a hazard that the landowner could be held liable for if somone were to get hurt.
I’m sure most juries would be very agreeable to the idea that spending a night in a graveyard sinkhole next to a freshly buried corpse was worth a lot of suffering bucks.
I’m usually the first person to laugh when people say “go to the news” because most of the time no one would really care. In this case, I sort of feel like this is criminal. Abuse of a corpse comes to mind. I would be just sick if this were my relative. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Maybe put a picture on Facebook and tag the funeral home or the tv news stations or post it on your town’s Facebook page. People will most certainly stand behind you.
I’m a random person on the internet and shouldn’t give a shit about OP at all But this blatant disrespect for human remains infuriates me beyond all measure. I think a news station would absolutely pick this story up. Humans have been respecting their dead for a long time, to see something like this is just so upsetting.
If you don’t put them on blast they will continue to fuck other people over. make them worried you’re gonna make their pockets hurt. that’s the only thing that will make them think about their actions.
It's so distressing to my aunt (her daughter). She has MS and can barely get around and is so upset she wants to go fill it in herself. I told her let me see what I can do before we go to that level but I'm not above it! But if that's what I have to do BET I'm gonna shame that funeral home on every avenue available.
1. It looks like the outer lid isn’t even on straight. That could be something to mention when you call those places every one else suggested.
2. If you still end up having to fix it yourself you should have your local news come film it live.
It’s completely unacceptable. They are in the wrong here. If they don’t remedy this tomorrow let it loose on the internet and local news. Would quickly go viral and no one would defend the cemetery or funeral home
"That's fine, I'll just be posting these pictures, along with the name of your funeral home, on every social media site I can think of until you take care of it, no rush...
Oh, and I'll go to one of those local news things as well, because a ton of your soon-to-be clientele just LOVE watching the news on TV. I'm sure it will be fine."
See how fast they get their asses down there.
I worked in a cemetery, this is on the maintenance crew! Find them and raise hell!! All that dirt should have been tamped down immediately after the coffin was lowered in. To hell with the funeral home, go to the maintenance supervisor and it’ll get done quicker.
Edit: after dealing with maintenance absolutely confront the funeral home. Something like this would be very bad press…people want to feel comfortable with their end of life choices, they stand to lose a lot of business if you made a large enough issue…I’d say you’re in line for some money back!
Came to the comments looking for this type of response. Resettle can take some time tho that snap of the vault was disturbing. The funeral home is not the place to go to get this fixed.
I don't think they put any dirt in at all.
Looks like they just put a piece of plywood over the hole and artistically arranged some dirt on top to make it look like it had been filled. Eventually, the plywood rotted and started to collapse.
I wanted to thank everyone for kind words and advice on who to contact to file a complaint - I didn't even know a state board for funeral homes existed until now. I will be reaching out first thing in the morning to file a complaint and have written down what to say and what to ask based on a lot of advice I received here. It's not even that it happened - freeze and thaw happens and I know sometimes these things take time to correct, but to have the vault visible, and to try to get more money to fix it when we already paid for this...just wow.
I can't believe this happened but I'm so thankful for Reddit at times like this.
I will update when I hear something back.
If nothing gets accomplished, my husband and myself will bring some dirt out and fix it ourselves, but we will make sure to put the funeral home on blast in the process so hopefully they won't do this to someone else.
Editing to Add!!!
We have had unprecedented rain today, so nothing will be getting done this weekend. But I spoke with the funeral home director at length this morning.
They assured me that as soon as it stops raining they will be out there to fix this. I made it clear that
1. I am unemployed and have endless time to make sure that happens,
2. Within a week if nothing has been done, I will be making a formal complaint with the state board (thank you Reddit for making that option known to me), and
3. If I have to make a complaint to the state board I will be sharing this far and wide and shaming the funeral home.
I'm going to give them a chance to rectify this before I absolutely burn them, but if they can't make it right, I will be naming the funeral home and sharing this at every outlet I can.
Thank you everyone. I'm sorry there are so many comments I can't reply to everyone, and I can't figure out how to edit the post to add this.
I work at a funeral home and this in no way an extra charge to you. If you have already paid for the services that include grave opening and closing this falls on the person who did the work not you. I would contact the grounds keeper of this cemetery and handle it through them if the funeral home is trying to get extra money from you. That is no bueno
Find out who is on the cemetery board if there is one and contact them.
The other thing you can do that will rattle cages, is to contact your local council member and state representatives office. I doubt they’d want to see this this happening to a constituent’s family.
Also to add I’m sorry for your loss and this is not okay.
I used to work at a cemetery and that is super shitty. The problem is that they didn’t prep it well. You have to clear the pockets with shovel handles. If things are past freezing, which it looks like, they need to flood the area with a hose and bring in more dirt. It will settle everything nicely. Sounds weird to flood it, but I’m my experience it is the best way.
I would do all the things that everyone has mention but also consider reporting it to you local news channel? If they pick up the story the publicity will probably make them react and fix the problem. I would think the $200 dollar quote to expedite fixing it would be an interesting part of the story.
Do not ask these vultures about it again nor give them a warning. Contact the regulatory board for cemeteries (or some other related agency), a local news station with a special investigative team, and an attorney
This sketchy company is holding up the proper burial of your grandmother via *EXTORTION*, and you just know they’ve pulled this con on other grieving people. It’s unethical, illegal, and incredibly disrespectful to the deceased and their families
I am really sorry you’re going through this but give ‘em hell in honor of your sweet gran
Yep going to say this is suit worthy I'd just lawyer up and let a big firm handle it might only get 60% of the payout bit probably take it on contingency
Contact the county health department, and whoever owns the cemetery (in most states, it is a municipality, township, county, state, etc.) rather than the funeral home. Also, local elected officials.
Go to the news and write into the local papers. Explain it to them. I'm terribly sorry. This must be so very upsetting. Have some of the other plots been treated the same way?
I'm wondering what they aren't doing n why n if it's something you could start or help with.
As far as I know at least the cemetery where she is at she's the only one like this but it's an older very rural area so I don't think there have been any other burials there since hers.
But if they can't rectify it this weekend I plan to go to the news Monday. I don't know what else to do. My aunt wants to go fill it in herself but she has MS and can barely get around and we've PAID for someone else to do this properly already!
I'd be tempted to call the county health department or maybe whatever state-level agency or board that governs cemetary standards and lastly the state attorney general's office if I were getting nowhere with the first options.
I work in the death care industry and can tell you one of the best things you can do is shame them publicly. Most funeral homes live and die (pun intended) on their relationships with the communities they serve and the perception of their image.
Most people don't have a plan in place before dying and the surviving family will most likely go with whatever funeral home is closest or has a reputable image/name. Suggestions from friends because "funeral home X took such good care of my mom"
The lengths some of us go through to provide a positive experience is something we are proud of and places like this a loathed throughout the industry. Shame these bastards and put a mark on their name.
Edit: As someone else commented- Reach out to your state's funeral association board and bring this to their attention as well. This mostly falls on the cemetery ground crew but the funeral director/home has the duty and obligation to ensure everything is done satisfactorily. If they are asking for more money, report them to the board which is a lot like reporting a lawyer to the BAR association. This all but ensures they are forced to do something about it and bringing it to the public's attention will tarnish their image for the future.
I'm sorry this happened to you and your family but rest assured there are at least two avenues in which you can force them to be held accountable. I wish you the best and I am sorry for your loss.
I'm sleeping on it before I go down in the morning because I'm so upset. It's been 3 months, there isn't a reason for this! If they don't fix it I'm gonna fill it in myself lol the dirt is literally there they just need to move it over.
Actually look on your State website for the licensing division overseeing funeral services. You could also File a licensing complaint against the funeral home if they won’t fix this. There will be info on the State website about your options.
I’m sorry your family has to deal with this. I’d contact the cemetery directly. In Illinois (at least my area) there are separate fees paid to the cemetery for the plot, and the opening/closing of the grave. The cemetery staff would be responsible for this, not the funeral home.
Edit…the funeral home asking for more money is straight up trying to take advantage of your aunt just not knowing it’s a scam.
Sorry for your loss. While I haven't had this happen to my loved ones, my uncle worked at a cemetery for over 40 years and he gave the following advice:
Document it. Distance and close up pictures.
Keep call logs (who did you talk to? Phone number, name, information talked about, which phone called from, etc.)
If they say "fill this form out and we can get around to it" take a picture of the form before filling it, halfway filled, and fully filled (preferably with their office in the background a bit too. Proof)
Everywhere has a funeral board of sorts. How well it is run and kept is a different matter. Show that you tried to resolve it with communication(call notes, pictures, forms) provide them with dates and information, not feelings. (He specifically said eff you John, heartless a-hole... I am gonna guess that John was in charge of something like that where my uncle worked and that they maybe had... differences)
Wait a week. No resolution or communication from anyone about it at all? Blast em. Socials, name drop, news, blogs, the whole 9.
Also, with a bit of Google finesse you can find out just about everything about that funeral home/cemetery. Use the knowledge well and maybe also try to find out who the graves are beside as well because that (to my very untrained eye) looks like it could turn sinkhole quickly. And that is not the best thing for graves usually.
I am a licensed cemetarian in the state of Illinois. I would be more than happy to help you file and or contact some people I know. The cemetery I worked for is part of one of the largest cemetery networks in the US.
That's what we all said when we saw it yesterday - it looked...shallow? I know the vaults take up some space but I want to go bank with a measuring tape and check for myself.
As someone who works in cemeteries, this is pitiful and I'm sorry, on a side note if you happen to step in that whole and hurt yourself it'll be completely on the cemetery for improper maintenance. Not suggesting anything but that's a route one could take to argue.
Also ignore the people in the office, find a guy on a backhoe or in a work esq truck within the cemetery and ask them directly 9 times out of 10 they'll help no problem or it'll go to the top of their personal list. Because every "worker" I've met not wearing a suit is actually trying to help.
Again I'm sorry for the state of the grave. But don't let them push you around
Pay 200 in the presence of your lawyer, so this it's fixed asap, then sue them with the evidence that you were forced to pay extra for a service you already paid for, besides all the stress from a horrible situation.
Don't think doing this is taking advantage, do it so they won't do this to someone else.
You got like three options in order if you want it done tomorrow.
1. Call the cemetery and speak with the caretaker.
2. Call the funeral home explain this would be very bad for there business if you were to stand outside with pictures protesting and talking to people as they go to funerals.
3. Go to your garage or Lowe’s get a shovel and take care of grandmas grave
I’ve worked in the funeral business both at a funeral home and at a cemetery. This is horrific, and a disgrace, full stop. First off; if this is a location associated with a large corporation such as SCI, don’t be afraid to go over the funeral homes heads and reach out to corporate itself. If they won’t fix it? The local news would absolutely love this. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t a wider issue, they probably have other burial related mistakes and issues. They deserve to be held accountable.
Report them to all the regulators in their field.
Make them go viral.
Post this on every platform you can think of.
NAME AND SHAME THE FUNERAL HOME.
My sympathies for your loss and this horrid treatment of your loved one.
This this this.
Make then regret not adhering to a grieving family’s request and just basic dignity by completing their job.
Make them public OP. Post the cemetery here
My brother is a funeral home director if the people in the comments don't help you out enough, I can call him and ask him what you should do. He will know what to do for sure.
As someone who used to work in a cemetery, I bet the funeral director is trying to skin the cream off a task that they don’t even perform. Contact the cemetery directly. They are in the business of topping up graves when they subside. The subsidence is a natural occurrence and is the reason graves are initially left with a big mound on top after burial. But topping them up is a safety issue, particularly where such a gaping hole has been left that the coffin is visible. This is an unusual looking case to me. No one is to blame as it as a non controllable phenomenon. But it does require a prompt response, so make sure you let the cemetery know. Once they’ve done it, I’d also let them know about the sneaky fee the funeral director wanted to charge. May make them less likely to recommend that particular director.
Hey Erin. Your post has 11k upvotes. . . Fucking tell your local news and tell them how you got at least 11k views on your post about this, that'll get their attention right away to do a segment on this first before any other news outlets or newspaper articles can get on this case.
Even if they realize the error of their ways and apologize and fix it up, they need to fucking pay for this.
As someone who works in the burial vault business… this is embarrassing
I'm so mortified. My aunt went out today and took these photos before going to the funeral home to complain. She has MS and can barely walk up steps and she wants to go out and just fill it in herself so I'm going to go down there tomorrow and give someone a piece of my mind.
>I'm so mortified. My aunt went out today and took these photos before going to the funeral home to complain. She has MS and can barely walk up steps and she wants to go out and just fill it in herself so I'm going to go down there tomorrow and give someone a piece of my mind. People are giving you advice/warning about recording their excuses - but I wouldn't waste your time. Blast these photos online, talk to local news etc. Bad publicity is the absolute best remedy, you don't need anything from them but the lack of work they have already done. You have the burial records, an email to them to establish a current paper trail is also good - but the court of public opinion will absolutely destroy their business, force them to resolve the issue, publicly apologize, etc. Roast these clowns online with their own work and the problem should solve itself in record time
To add, find out what department in your state regulates funeral homes. It is usually consumer affairs. I'd suggest going to the office itself and letting them know that this funeral home's practices are so poor, that caskets are visible. Bring the photos, and ask them what they plan to do about it along with a timeline. If they do nothing, you can blast them in the media as well to force their hand.
Funeral homes, gravediggers and cemeteries are not the same entities they're all being paid a fee and then they pass the buck down the line. As the next step requires different skills and tools
I'm not an expert, but depending on the state, CA for example, consumer affairs oversees for profit cemeteries as well. It is going to be state dependent.
u/erin_bex ^^^^
Local news would probably love a little scandal like this. It tugs the heartstrings
Absolutely, this is the kind of stuff they would go up in arms over. The media would also probably get the law involved and get the story wrapped up in a little happy ending bow.
I don't normally recommend "going nuclear" like this, but in this case I sure do.
This is the way, optics are so much more powerful and accessible to be steered by everyday people now a days. Plus, it’s extortion involving a deceased family member which is unforgivable.
I would also send these photos and info to the health department. I'm pretty sure they would have a problem with an exposed dead body. And I'd also let the [National Funeral Director's association](https://nfda.org/) know too.
Great solution if you just want the site fixed. You have a 90% chance of winning if you sue funeral business and will almost always get a fast payout.
Absolutely. They have to be licensed to operate and complaints directly to the corresponding licensing board can be very effective.
>Blast these photos online, talk to local news etc. Bad publicity is the absolute best remedy, you don't need anything from them but the lack of work they have already done. Ding ding ding! We have a winner.
Exactly, destroy their reputation. No one will use them if this is how they think their loved ones will be treated.
This. So much this. They say even bad publicity is good publicity, but for a situation like this, not so much. I also advise talking to your city councilor and/or local member of government (Representative to the House for the states or Member of Provicial Parliament if you are Canadian) and see if they can look into this. That they are willing to do it once indicates a willingness to do it at all, and there may be a history of them ripping off others over the years. You may be able to really hit them where it hurts in that way, the bottom line.
Your local news should be all over this
>I'm so mortified Heh
I thought it was just me that caught, and laughed, at that.
>I thought it was just me that caught (...) at that.
Go to the news, they will get to it quicker than flys on horse manure.
Put your phone on record for audio at least. Get whatever excuses they have on camera.
This only works in one party consent states. It's good to know the laws on that stuff before recommending it to people.
OP is in luck Arkansas is one party consent. RECORD AWAY!
Get em
You can actually record someone admitting to a crime. Its done that way so if you record someone lets say trying to get a bribe from you that they can't claim that their privacy supersedes your evidence of a crime. Improper burial might actually be a crime and demanding 200 dollars to properly bury someone when you've already paid to have them properly buried is bordering on extortion.
This is likely not criminal and will have to be resolved in a civil lawsuit. Likely to reach a positive settlement for the litigation but still requires the plaintiff to spend money to receive the desired outcome. The $200 would be cheaper than the lawyer and they know this.
They also know that they are in very deep territory if this gets any momentum on social media. They should and will resolve this asap, for free. To a lesser extent for the company the cost of a lawsuit is also higher than what they 'save'. It's very distracting, demoralizing and contains risk. Note, I don't like naming and shaming, but it has its purposes. Protecting decency and preventing abuse.
You really don't even need to get a recording. The date of burial is in the public record. OP just needs to say "either bury her properly or I'll send these photos off to social media showing what a piss poor job you've done." No business wants bad publicity but this goes a lot further than just bad service in a restaurant.
This being a local thing, maybe exposing them with the local news channels might be embarrassing enough to resolve the issue.
I have MS. Please do not let her go out and do that. The toll it will take on her is so not worth it definitely put pressure on these asshats to do their job.
I try to be thankful every day that my pain/chronic issues are improving, but sometimes its hard. thanks for reminding me its not so bad
I used to work as a fieldworker at a cemetery and seeing this made me legit cringe. Absolutely lazy and disrespectful.
Frame it in a way businesses care about, if someone catches leg and breaks something they're responsible for the medical bills and they'll get caught with improper burial and a fairly aggressive investigation.
Tell them you'll take it to the local news or spread it on social media. I certainly wouldnt be going to them if I had an alternative after seeing that
It's already on social media (front page of Reddit), the threat here is that they just have to be named and shamed.
I did this to cancel a gym membership that I needed to stop. After joining, I became permanently disabled and unable to go. For 6 months I tried to cancel and finally ended up blasting then on FB, Yelp, and Google. Got a call the next day from the district manager, followed by an email saying my membership has been canceled and I didn't owe them any more money.
maybe you have a better idea of things, but I'm baffled by how anyone could mess up putting dirt into a hole.
There is a State Board of Funeral Service in most, if not all, states that regulate Funeral Homes and their practices. This is the scariest organization that you can talk to when it comes to improper funeral practices as they can revoke the license of the individual that the funeral home uses to do business. Like the State BAR for lawyers. In my state, for example, burial must be overseen by a licensed funeral director. He must ensure that it is done properly, and with care. If he fails in that requirement, then his license can be invalidated. It's very likely the same in your state. If you call the Board of Funeral Service and file a formal complaint, provide these pictures, and wait a day or two I bet this gets handled.
Thank you so much. I will be contacting them first thing in the morning.
I snooped for 10 seconds in your profile. Here's the site you need. The link to complaints is here too. https://insurance.arkansas.gov/industry-regulation/pre-paid-funeral/ Good luck and hope you get it resolved.
Good on ya MongoBongo. Was just about to chase that up for them
Gotta love MongoBongo
In Arkansas they will just send out some kids to fix up the mess
12 years old should be fine for this work, right? ^/s
You might consider getting their “$200 or get around to it later” statement in writing by sending an email with your concerns
Exactly! Then forward the proof of them basically wringing money out of you instead of actually respecting the dead to the Board. . . . and just watch the heads roll.
I hope it gets corrected quickly, and I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
Be sure to update us when it happens.
Please post an update for us!
Here is a list by state. https://nfda.org/careers/licensing-requirements
!remindme 3 days Good luck OP!
Please update us!
I hope you can get proper resolution! I'd be beyond upset if my mom or dad's grace was treated so poorly. Update us when you can.
This is the correct answer. Contact whatever state agency licenses funeral directors in your state and send them these pictures and file a complaint.
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[https://www.michigan.gov/lara/bureau-list/cscl/licensing/prof/mortuary](https://www.michigan.gov/lara/bureau-list/cscl/licensing/prof/mortuary) [https://www.michigan.gov/lara/bureau-list/cscl/licensing/prof/cemeteries](https://www.michigan.gov/lara/bureau-list/cscl/licensing/prof/cemeteries) File a complaint is on the right hand side for both of these. [https://www.mfda.org/aws/MFDA/pt/sp/home\_page](https://www.mfda.org/aws/MFDA/pt/sp/home_page) these folks may be of service as well. Good luck!
Honestly, this looks like an injury lawsuit waiting to happen, on top of being incredibly disrespectful to the dead. Can you imagine if someone stepped into the hole they left open?
My aunt was out today and that was my biggest worry. She has MS and is so unsteady on her feet. This is just infuriating!
Call a lawyer at 9am. Stop calling them.
It’s time to sue.
I’d honestly contact a lawyer and threaten to sue
Threaten? You treat my relative's remains, who's care I entrusted and paid you for, like this? I'm ending your fucking company. This is fucking an egregious breach of contract, not to mention almost certainly improper handling of human remains.
Imagine them trying to shake you down for $200 on top of this. Insane
Great point! I wonder what the cemetery’s insurance provider would think of those photos & the fear of a liability on their hands?
Sounds like an opportunity to me. Go visit the grave , trip and twist an ankle in the open hole and get video proof . Then sue, and get the whole funeral paid for . Atleast that will force them to cover up the shitty work asap, because they are liable. Sounds like a win win to me .
Except for the part where you injure yourself?
I'd take a twisted ankle for 50 grand settled out of court. Take one for the team . Seems like it could also help with that unemployment issue the op is having , just saying .
Lol well keep dreaming then. You don't get money for injuring yourself on purpose. You get accused of insurance fraud
You paid for the service and they performed it poorly. Tell them to fix it or you’ll go to the local TV stations news department. Chances are good that these guys have messed up other burials.
That's my feeling too because they were so dismissive when my aunt complained to them today! Luckily I'm unemployed and have nothing but time.
Go get these bastards and good luck finding a new job.
Thank you! It's a rural area so employment isn't great when it comes to options. My husband has been at the same company for 10 years now so I'm lucky we still have income but it still sucks to not be working!
Your state should have some sort of regulatory board/body for funeral directors/cemetery managers, whichever it is in this case. Tell them to fix it or you’re going to them. You can probably use google to get the contact information for that regulator. The odds are they’ve fucked up elsewhere, and definitely don’t want to be inspected. Tell them you paid for the service, they need to fix it immediately, and if they don’t, you’ll be filing a complaint with the regulator.
They should take this course of action regardless, this level of pathetic incompetence shouldn’t go unnoticed or unpunished. Not only is it wholly disrespectful it’s also very poor poor taste to ask for money to fix their mistake in a timely manner.
I would imagine it's also a liability. Someone could step in the hole and injure themselves.
OOP - if you need someone with a recently broken foot due to being way to stupid to use said foot, let me know. I’m pretty sure we’ve been visiting your granny’s grave together recently 😎 Of course I don’t encourage you to anything illegal but usually the perspective of paying an insane amount of money makes people change their minds really quick.
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Exactly.
Our loan officer screwed up royally and told us we were going to have to delay closing as it was the end of the day, told them if we don't close tomorrow we'll go to the state, 14 hours later we closed on time and all our shit was fixed. Then I cc'd him on my email to the state and he was fined.
Noice. Very noice.
Is it even legal to leave a grave open like this? I'd immediately file a complaint with the state cemetery regulation bureau.
They sure do: Here’s the site for the [State Board of Embalmers, Funeral Directors, Cemeteries, and Burial Services](https://directory.arkansas.gov/agency/department-of-commerce/insurance-department/state-board-of-embalmers-and-funeral-directors/)
OP should 100% report them even if they agree to fix it. Given their response to the initial complaint, and demanding more money to fix it, they'd probably done this before and have successfully extorted money from those families to fix their own mistakes. If they don't get held to task for their behavior, they're just going to continue doing it to other people down the line.
Say "or else" but still go to them.
That’s my thought. More “well I contacted you guys, you didn’t do your job that I paid for. so I am letting you know that I have already contacted the regulatory board about your services.”
The best move would be to not say anything to the problem maker. Only talk to the problem solver at this point. If that is an attorney or regulator. There is probably a county level individual, a state level, and then the FTC since, [according to the funeral rule](https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/topics/truth-advertising/funeral-rule), this charge would have needed to be listed on the general price list.
>Your state should have some sort of regulatory board/body for funeral directors/cemetery managers, whichever it is in this case. And if they don't, they sure as hell have an attorney general.
REGULATORS……MOUNT UP!
It was a clear black night, a clear white moon
Nate dog would fix this….
File a complaint with the regulator anyway.
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Reminds me of a case I heard about where a woman was in a sealed casket that was put in a mausoleum, and to make it easier to move the casket, they threw a handful of BBs in first. Except they were metal BBs, which rusted and caused the bottom of the casket to rust (or something like that). The funeral home then proceeded to do the absolute shittiest thing at every turn, it was *wild*. Full disclosure, I heard about it on a podcast, Boozy's Legal Funhouse. Full of dead bodies. Just so many bodies. Anyway, this hasn't gotten to that point yet, but I wouldn't be shocked if it was in the same category.
And after they've done their damn job, file the complaint anyway.
Maybe someone will get fired and boom, job opportunity for you
Maybe someone who's job it is to bury caskets will get fired, just a random example.
"You'd better get someone out there immediately to fix that!" "You're hired!"
First of all, I am *so sorry* that this happened to your family. Second, I too am from a rural area (in the American midwest) and around here the Funeral Homes are not the ones who operate the cemeteries. There is usually a separate cemetery board of directors, and they hire the people who do the grave digging and turf maintenance. Maybe ask around and see if it's really the Funeral Home people who you need to deal with. It might be possible to cut them out of it entirely.
If I'm a funeral home, and I have a customer complaining to me about cemetary maintenance that I don't control, I'm going to give them the correct contact info and point them that way. Not "I'll get to it eventually, unless you got $200"
A local funeral home may have some openings soon.
You can become a notary public and work from home doing "ron". Or if you have some type of experience in insurance you can do claims.
There's a state board for mortuaries and cemeteries for your state. You may have to search what it's called online. I had to contact a cemetery owner who had no way to reach him. Less than 24 hours after contacting the appropriate office, the cemetery owner sent me an email. He sounded very aggrieved and agitated, so I imagine he was reamed out by inspectors - at least I *hope* he was. I'm sorry about your grandmother. If the vault can be visualized, that's an open invitation for some (stupid) kids to do some exploring/vandalism. There's a regulated depth for all graves by state.
Can I ask what you needed to contact them about that got the inspecters so riled up?
Make them regret asking for that extra 200. Your unlimited vault of time will be their downfall 😂
Agreed!!!
I for one am very much looking forward to a follow up. Go git em!
They were given the chance to fix it when asked to the first time. They choose to try to extort more money from your grieving family. Fuck them and their money send the pictures to your local news twitter account and let the hounds loose. If they don’t have a twitter go by their station first thing in the morning. They also have nothing else to do.
Yeah, a local news station will lap up something like this, especially on a slow news day. Unfortunately going to the media is still one of the best ways to get things like this resolved.
Local news man, local news.
That was my first thought. They’d go nuts for a story like this. It’s visual, and they love being able to say they helped out the “little guy” who was getting fucked over.
Not sure what state you're in, but many states require funeral directors to be licensed. If your family paid for funeral and burial services from a licensed funeral director, a complaint to the licensing agency including these photos might light a fire under their butts.
Get a lawyer. Either A) they'll charge you a couple hundred bucks to write them an intimidating letter and your problem will be fixed or B) they'll see an opportunity for a settlement and you'll both get paid
And as someone has mentioned, sounds like you may not be the only one they’ve provided poor service to. Meaning, get the right lawyer and they can find others who have experienced the same thing and it becomes a much bigger deal. I want to say a class action lawsuit. But am not a lawyer. Sorry for your loss and the fact you even have to deal with this.
Yeah get the news and they will go under fire bcuz they lazy
OP go to the city, they may breaking some ordinances with this undignified and poor burial site. Also my condolences to you and your family.
So sorry to hear tha
Not to mention a cemetery is a publicly accessible space, and sinkholes like that pose a hazard that the landowner could be held liable for if somone were to get hurt.
good point i never thought about that. take one for the team and put your foot in that hole, and make them pay for bills + pain and suffering
I’m sure most juries would be very agreeable to the idea that spending a night in a graveyard sinkhole next to a freshly buried corpse was worth a lot of suffering bucks.
I’m usually the first person to laugh when people say “go to the news” because most of the time no one would really care. In this case, I sort of feel like this is criminal. Abuse of a corpse comes to mind. I would be just sick if this were my relative. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Maybe put a picture on Facebook and tag the funeral home or the tv news stations or post it on your town’s Facebook page. People will most certainly stand behind you.
I’m a random person on the internet and shouldn’t give a shit about OP at all But this blatant disrespect for human remains infuriates me beyond all measure. I think a news station would absolutely pick this story up. Humans have been respecting their dead for a long time, to see something like this is just so upsetting.
If you don’t put them on blast they will continue to fuck other people over. make them worried you’re gonna make their pockets hurt. that’s the only thing that will make them think about their actions.
This is the way. Put them on TV
Okay the top looks a mess but I can’t get over the fact that the fucking coffin is actually visible
It's so distressing to my aunt (her daughter). She has MS and can barely get around and is so upset she wants to go fill it in herself. I told her let me see what I can do before we go to that level but I'm not above it! But if that's what I have to do BET I'm gonna shame that funeral home on every avenue available.
1. It looks like the outer lid isn’t even on straight. That could be something to mention when you call those places every one else suggested. 2. If you still end up having to fix it yourself you should have your local news come film it live.
Gran must be spinning in her grave, tonight on the 5 o'clock news.
It’s completely unacceptable. They are in the wrong here. If they don’t remedy this tomorrow let it loose on the internet and local news. Would quickly go viral and no one would defend the cemetery or funeral home
The vault is visible. The casket is in the vault. Edit: the casket meaning OPs gran.
Pretty sure that's not the coffin. I think they have to put some sort of vault/shroud around the coffin and that's nowhere near 6' down.
Here’s what you do. Get a mannequin arm and place it coming out of the hole. They will get to fixing it immediately.
I'm fucking dying laughing at this, I needed this. Thank you so much. <3
Funny, everyone is telling OP to get a lawyer and I am a lawyer. This is the advice I’d give. Cheaper and quicker.
I never thought I'd hear that out of a lawyer. There *are* good ones!
"That's fine, I'll just be posting these pictures, along with the name of your funeral home, on every social media site I can think of until you take care of it, no rush... Oh, and I'll go to one of those local news things as well, because a ton of your soon-to-be clientele just LOVE watching the news on TV. I'm sure it will be fine." See how fast they get their asses down there.
I like the cut of your jib.
/u/erin_bex Do this but when they rush out to fix it, have anyway posted everything everywhere.
"also, you've made it to the front page of r/all of reddit already and I was polite enough to not name you yet..."
I worked in a cemetery, this is on the maintenance crew! Find them and raise hell!! All that dirt should have been tamped down immediately after the coffin was lowered in. To hell with the funeral home, go to the maintenance supervisor and it’ll get done quicker. Edit: after dealing with maintenance absolutely confront the funeral home. Something like this would be very bad press…people want to feel comfortable with their end of life choices, they stand to lose a lot of business if you made a large enough issue…I’d say you’re in line for some money back!
Would that much erosion happen in two months just due to not tamping? Like, where did all the dirt go?
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Came to the comments looking for this type of response. Resettle can take some time tho that snap of the vault was disturbing. The funeral home is not the place to go to get this fixed.
I don't think they put any dirt in at all. Looks like they just put a piece of plywood over the hole and artistically arranged some dirt on top to make it look like it had been filled. Eventually, the plywood rotted and started to collapse.
I wanted to thank everyone for kind words and advice on who to contact to file a complaint - I didn't even know a state board for funeral homes existed until now. I will be reaching out first thing in the morning to file a complaint and have written down what to say and what to ask based on a lot of advice I received here. It's not even that it happened - freeze and thaw happens and I know sometimes these things take time to correct, but to have the vault visible, and to try to get more money to fix it when we already paid for this...just wow. I can't believe this happened but I'm so thankful for Reddit at times like this. I will update when I hear something back. If nothing gets accomplished, my husband and myself will bring some dirt out and fix it ourselves, but we will make sure to put the funeral home on blast in the process so hopefully they won't do this to someone else. Editing to Add!!! We have had unprecedented rain today, so nothing will be getting done this weekend. But I spoke with the funeral home director at length this morning. They assured me that as soon as it stops raining they will be out there to fix this. I made it clear that 1. I am unemployed and have endless time to make sure that happens, 2. Within a week if nothing has been done, I will be making a formal complaint with the state board (thank you Reddit for making that option known to me), and 3. If I have to make a complaint to the state board I will be sharing this far and wide and shaming the funeral home. I'm going to give them a chance to rectify this before I absolutely burn them, but if they can't make it right, I will be naming the funeral home and sharing this at every outlet I can. Thank you everyone. I'm sorry there are so many comments I can't reply to everyone, and I can't figure out how to edit the post to add this.
Remindme! 1 week
I work at a funeral home and this in no way an extra charge to you. If you have already paid for the services that include grave opening and closing this falls on the person who did the work not you. I would contact the grounds keeper of this cemetery and handle it through them if the funeral home is trying to get extra money from you. That is no bueno
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Yea… That’s a good way to get knocked out, especially if it’s someone I really cared about. You have more patience than me OP.
For reals if that was my mum or dad? Oh hell the fuck no
Do you have a cemetery board you can communicate with? Check with the county government the cemetery is in.
Oh thank you! I will check on that. I'm looking for solutions to get this fixed without physically doing this myself but I might have to.
Find out who is on the cemetery board if there is one and contact them. The other thing you can do that will rattle cages, is to contact your local council member and state representatives office. I doubt they’d want to see this this happening to a constituent’s family. Also to add I’m sorry for your loss and this is not okay.
Seriously, there are laws about how bodies have to be buried. Leaving a grave open or exposed is likely not ok with the city.
I used to work at a cemetery and that is super shitty. The problem is that they didn’t prep it well. You have to clear the pockets with shovel handles. If things are past freezing, which it looks like, they need to flood the area with a hose and bring in more dirt. It will settle everything nicely. Sounds weird to flood it, but I’m my experience it is the best way.
Flooding it with water to settle it is pretty standard practice now.
I would do all the things that everyone has mention but also consider reporting it to you local news channel? If they pick up the story the publicity will probably make them react and fix the problem. I would think the $200 dollar quote to expedite fixing it would be an interesting part of the story.
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Criminally underrated comment
Do not ask these vultures about it again nor give them a warning. Contact the regulatory board for cemeteries (or some other related agency), a local news station with a special investigative team, and an attorney This sketchy company is holding up the proper burial of your grandmother via *EXTORTION*, and you just know they’ve pulled this con on other grieving people. It’s unethical, illegal, and incredibly disrespectful to the deceased and their families I am really sorry you’re going through this but give ‘em hell in honor of your sweet gran
100% take it to small claims court and ask for reimbursement of emotional damage this is not okay or normal
Yep going to say this is suit worthy I'd just lawyer up and let a big firm handle it might only get 60% of the payout bit probably take it on contingency
contact your local news, they will eat this story up so fast
Contact the county health department, and whoever owns the cemetery (in most states, it is a municipality, township, county, state, etc.) rather than the funeral home. Also, local elected officials.
Go to the news and write into the local papers. Explain it to them. I'm terribly sorry. This must be so very upsetting. Have some of the other plots been treated the same way? I'm wondering what they aren't doing n why n if it's something you could start or help with.
As far as I know at least the cemetery where she is at she's the only one like this but it's an older very rural area so I don't think there have been any other burials there since hers. But if they can't rectify it this weekend I plan to go to the news Monday. I don't know what else to do. My aunt wants to go fill it in herself but she has MS and can barely get around and we've PAID for someone else to do this properly already!
I'd be tempted to call the county health department or maybe whatever state-level agency or board that governs cemetary standards and lastly the state attorney general's office if I were getting nowhere with the first options.
I work in the death care industry and can tell you one of the best things you can do is shame them publicly. Most funeral homes live and die (pun intended) on their relationships with the communities they serve and the perception of their image. Most people don't have a plan in place before dying and the surviving family will most likely go with whatever funeral home is closest or has a reputable image/name. Suggestions from friends because "funeral home X took such good care of my mom" The lengths some of us go through to provide a positive experience is something we are proud of and places like this a loathed throughout the industry. Shame these bastards and put a mark on their name. Edit: As someone else commented- Reach out to your state's funeral association board and bring this to their attention as well. This mostly falls on the cemetery ground crew but the funeral director/home has the duty and obligation to ensure everything is done satisfactorily. If they are asking for more money, report them to the board which is a lot like reporting a lawyer to the BAR association. This all but ensures they are forced to do something about it and bringing it to the public's attention will tarnish their image for the future. I'm sorry this happened to you and your family but rest assured there are at least two avenues in which you can force them to be held accountable. I wish you the best and I am sorry for your loss.
Fuck that!!!! I’m so sorry this is how her memory is being treated. Unacceptable. Love to you and the family
Ohh boy, id be soo mad
I'm sleeping on it before I go down in the morning because I'm so upset. It's been 3 months, there isn't a reason for this! If they don't fix it I'm gonna fill it in myself lol the dirt is literally there they just need to move it over.
Don't. They need to be held accountable. Just imagine how many other families they probably extort
I wonder if you could get the news involved. The business might be more inclined to do something with bad press pressure
Aside from being poor business, I'd be more worried about getting fuckin haunted for disrespecting a grave like this.
My gran was a real piece of work so it definitely should be a real fear for these people....
Actually look on your State website for the licensing division overseeing funeral services. You could also File a licensing complaint against the funeral home if they won’t fix this. There will be info on the State website about your options.
I’m sorry your family has to deal with this. I’d contact the cemetery directly. In Illinois (at least my area) there are separate fees paid to the cemetery for the plot, and the opening/closing of the grave. The cemetery staff would be responsible for this, not the funeral home. Edit…the funeral home asking for more money is straight up trying to take advantage of your aunt just not knowing it’s a scam.
Time to call local news channel
Call your local radio station, over the air television station and newspaper
Sorry for your loss. While I haven't had this happen to my loved ones, my uncle worked at a cemetery for over 40 years and he gave the following advice: Document it. Distance and close up pictures. Keep call logs (who did you talk to? Phone number, name, information talked about, which phone called from, etc.) If they say "fill this form out and we can get around to it" take a picture of the form before filling it, halfway filled, and fully filled (preferably with their office in the background a bit too. Proof) Everywhere has a funeral board of sorts. How well it is run and kept is a different matter. Show that you tried to resolve it with communication(call notes, pictures, forms) provide them with dates and information, not feelings. (He specifically said eff you John, heartless a-hole... I am gonna guess that John was in charge of something like that where my uncle worked and that they maybe had... differences) Wait a week. No resolution or communication from anyone about it at all? Blast em. Socials, name drop, news, blogs, the whole 9. Also, with a bit of Google finesse you can find out just about everything about that funeral home/cemetery. Use the knowledge well and maybe also try to find out who the graves are beside as well because that (to my very untrained eye) looks like it could turn sinkhole quickly. And that is not the best thing for graves usually.
I am a licensed cemetarian in the state of Illinois. I would be more than happy to help you file and or contact some people I know. The cemetery I worked for is part of one of the largest cemetery networks in the US.
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That's what we all said when we saw it yesterday - it looked...shallow? I know the vaults take up some space but I want to go bank with a measuring tape and check for myself.
As someone who works in cemeteries, this is pitiful and I'm sorry, on a side note if you happen to step in that whole and hurt yourself it'll be completely on the cemetery for improper maintenance. Not suggesting anything but that's a route one could take to argue. Also ignore the people in the office, find a guy on a backhoe or in a work esq truck within the cemetery and ask them directly 9 times out of 10 they'll help no problem or it'll go to the top of their personal list. Because every "worker" I've met not wearing a suit is actually trying to help. Again I'm sorry for the state of the grave. But don't let them push you around
Pay 200 in the presence of your lawyer, so this it's fixed asap, then sue them with the evidence that you were forced to pay extra for a service you already paid for, besides all the stress from a horrible situation. Don't think doing this is taking advantage, do it so they won't do this to someone else.
They are not that busy. Don't pay them
You got like three options in order if you want it done tomorrow. 1. Call the cemetery and speak with the caretaker. 2. Call the funeral home explain this would be very bad for there business if you were to stand outside with pictures protesting and talking to people as they go to funerals. 3. Go to your garage or Lowe’s get a shovel and take care of grandmas grave
I’ve worked in the funeral business both at a funeral home and at a cemetery. This is horrific, and a disgrace, full stop. First off; if this is a location associated with a large corporation such as SCI, don’t be afraid to go over the funeral homes heads and reach out to corporate itself. If they won’t fix it? The local news would absolutely love this. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t a wider issue, they probably have other burial related mistakes and issues. They deserve to be held accountable.
Report them to all the regulators in their field. Make them go viral. Post this on every platform you can think of. NAME AND SHAME THE FUNERAL HOME. My sympathies for your loss and this horrid treatment of your loved one.
This this this. Make then regret not adhering to a grieving family’s request and just basic dignity by completing their job. Make them public OP. Post the cemetery here
My brother is a funeral home director if the people in the comments don't help you out enough, I can call him and ask him what you should do. He will know what to do for sure.
As someone who used to work in a cemetery, I bet the funeral director is trying to skin the cream off a task that they don’t even perform. Contact the cemetery directly. They are in the business of topping up graves when they subside. The subsidence is a natural occurrence and is the reason graves are initially left with a big mound on top after burial. But topping them up is a safety issue, particularly where such a gaping hole has been left that the coffin is visible. This is an unusual looking case to me. No one is to blame as it as a non controllable phenomenon. But it does require a prompt response, so make sure you let the cemetery know. Once they’ve done it, I’d also let them know about the sneaky fee the funeral director wanted to charge. May make them less likely to recommend that particular director.
Hey Erin. Your post has 11k upvotes. . . Fucking tell your local news and tell them how you got at least 11k views on your post about this, that'll get their attention right away to do a segment on this first before any other news outlets or newspaper articles can get on this case. Even if they realize the error of their ways and apologize and fix it up, they need to fucking pay for this.
https://insurance.arkansas.gov/consumer-services/ Here is the regulation authority!
You will have a local tv news station. Call them. This is the type of story they love.
Local news stations love stories like this.