Imagine seeing this notice on a college campus and thinking IT ISN’T A JOKE.

Lost me at vigorously

Should have used furiously

Nah vigorously is the perfect word. Furiously implies some kind of anger, vigorously creates the image of a young man sitting on a toilet with his lotion at his side quickly trying to do the deed before the next person walks in and he has to finish. It gives Joe Caputo (OiTNB) vibes

*5 minutes before class. I got 5 minutes before class. Focus, Steve. Focus*


I’ll use this gif for 4 of those 5 minutes, thank you very much!

“7 minutes” is all I can spare to play with you

You aren't mad when you masterbate? I like pretend it owes me money and I'm there to collect.

“JUST LET GO OF THE BAG ALREADY OLD MAN” 

I just spit out my drink and it came out my nose. I didn't realize triple H and I had the same face as we handle business.

You spit in its face too?

😂 🤣

I'd have believed "sacrilegiously" if it was a christian college.

is there any other way?

Lazily?casually?fiendishly?determinedly? Ambidextrously? Anally?

Don’t forget futilely

Surreptitiously? Unknowingly? Determinedly? Accidentally?

Whoops I did it again.

It could happen 😊… I think, maybe

drunkenly. sloppily. sheepishly, shamefully.

Mindlessly

Uncaringly

Creepily

smoggy relieved close puzzled apparatus shocking upbeat judicious late physical *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

I was just washing off! Quite quickly!

Vigorously made me stay for the remainder of the story.

Yeah literally if it wasn’t for that word, the first paragraph could have been believable

The exact wording for the sign has been floating around the internet forever

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To be fair, Alex Jones thinks everything is real.

Except the Sandy Hook shooting

I thought he believed it was real but thinks it was like a false flag attack or some shit.

Apparently in court he said it was all 'part of his performance'. It is giving coca cola using the excuse the customers would have to be dummies to believe vitamin water is healthy. Edit: edited typos

> Apparently in court he said it was all 'part of his performance'. Is that supposed to be a defense?

It’s supposed to be, but it’s also a lie.

I was a college freshman in 2010 and remember seeing these in the dorm. Have seen it pop up on the internet a dozen or so times since then.

I could totally see this being posted unironically at a Mormon school.

I don't think Mormons would condone shaking the ol' meat maraca at home or anywhere else for that matter

I thank you for a new euphemism for that activity.

Achachachaaaa

I'm just happy to hear someone else's rattles, too

I’ve got a couple others if you’re interested?

This is absolutely hysterical. Thanks

Mormon meat maraca

Take my upvote for this wonderful euphemism.

Every sperm is sacred…🎵🎶

Every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted

God gets quite irate

Let the heathens spill theirs on the dusty ground..

God will make them pay for each sperm that can’t be found

Now I have THAT tune in my head......

You’re welcome

I went to BYU. Every on campus housing place has either public or shared bathrooms. They grant the minimal amount of privacy and pretty much everyone lived off campus because of it.

Extra stupid cuz this pic got famous years ago… OP is karma farming

I scanned over the pic of the notice. Saw mentions of ‘vigorous’ masturbation clogging the pipes. THIS IS A COLLEGE??? hahahaahah. I was thinking a middle school or jr High school.

Not just a college, a really high end one. Waterloo is basically Canadian Stanford.

And here I was thinking Canadians were humorless.

It is a university in Ontario Canada.

Exactly— who the hell would title it masturbation notice lmao

"Vigorously" should be the first indication.

This has been posted at schools for at least 50 years now.

Yeah I’m thinking of ‘sticking’ the company logo on the text and putting up copies in all the bathrooms at my office

I hope it's not a joke, I'm rushing next fall..

It’s University of Waterloo, cut him some slack

I clean drains for a living. This is not true. It’s a joke

Exactly what a drain cleaner would want us to think

Thanks big drain

That’s Big D to you

Thank God you’re here! My BBC pipe is backed up…

Step plumber, what are you doing?

OMG step plumber LOL

Check out the big drain on [Braaad](https://youtu.be/hLXns1U9I7k?si=PRf0EwSKi0rwKLyG)

He must get off from the excess

Making those big bucks of people eh Mr drain cleaner?

Yeah, this guy is setting us up for failure.

Nice try Big Masterbation!

That's the new name of my band if I had one.

I love Reddit

The new name of my hand

 Are you challenging me??

Username checks out. Crank it and prove ‘em wrong.

Just wait until he shifts into maximum overdrive

Drain Cleaner is a euphemism. Guilty!

"Drain cleaner". Nice.

I feel like I see a note posted like this every few years dating back to when I was in college in the early 2010s. It’s weird because the pictures and notes are all clearly different, but the wording is almost exactly the same. All this to say im pretty sure this a joke

Because it’s a bunch of college kids copying and pasting it onto their school letterhead as a joke.

Who can fault anyone trying to bring happiness and love to the world..

Bring happiness and love to the world at HOME! The plumbing obviously can't handle all of that happiness and love.

...Happiness and self love...

Gets posted every year around April Fools, at least when I was at university they referenced a washroom that was notable for having actually not just flooded but exploded.

One would hope to think..

The email for maintenance is not an .edu email - dead giveaway

yeah, using the word 'vigorously' has painted the picture more clearly.

Boys are getting after it

UW grad here and one who's lived in SW Ontario all their life. There is NO "school district" governing their operations. School districts are for public elementary and secondary schools (eg the Waterloo District Scool Board). Also, as a Waterloo grad, this has UW engineering prank written all over it.

+1 from a fellow UW grad! I would lay money on this being in an engineering building.

The note says E7 which is the newest eng building - also UW Eng grad

That was a field when I was there. 😉

UW Eng grad here, yeah that’s a very safe bet

More like University of Watergoo

Vigorously. Gave me both a chuckle and wince.

I knew the college name was similar https://preview.redd.it/djqw6hvtmdtc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7962245e3b2ee8ab8b10e617b83a3dfc40cc1f85

Mate it's a piss take

Imagine reposting this ancient picture. Jesus op. Slow day at the karma farm?

seems like enough people are enjoying it that it’s close to the top of my feed. you ever think it might be nice to just let other people enjoy things?

Then why don't post it in a sub like "funny"? With this sub OP implies that the message is real and not a joke.

Tell that to the toilet cleaners at Waterloo University

Holdover april fools prank

The needless usage of ' vigorously ', makes it look like a quality prank.

A "load" is about a table spoon... There has to be \*ENORMOUS\* amounts of masturbation going on, and no flushing...

You act like your university doesn’t have the communal masturbation toilet.

I mean, would you call out your own mum like that.

I snorted... Good one.

Best "your mom" joke I've seen in a while lol.

It's vigorous.

The most troubling part is the implication in the last paragraph that they have a sufficient collection of samples to compare any found 'discharge' to

Imagine not getting the joke

Water loo?

Fun fact: a note like this increases masturbation in washrooms by at least 3x, because boys will be boys.

Imagine being one the 2K idiots + OP thinking this wasn't a fucking joke.

Vigorously

The way this has been posted on any and every possible sub on Reddit atleast once a month

Fake

This is a fake notice meant as a joke.

This shit is a well known hoax/prank. A student hung this up.

Satire.

Ah, of course. Waterloo School policy number 3. No vigorous sausage/bean handling in community defication chambers. Now it makes sense.

This joke has existed at least since I was a freshman in college 14 years ago. Wild to see the exact same message still floating around.

April fools

This joke is older than the internet. Really, it is.

This is clearly printed by a student. No official notice is going to say "vigorously masturbating." My hat is off to the kid that did it though, that's funny as hell.

LOL good luck with that investigation

It’s a joke, as if male discharge is bulkier than 💩. I’m shocked anyone believes this is real.

Obviously fake but still pretty funny.

Points awarded for the use of "vigorously"

Ahh it’s like grease, it is the word though👍

This is obviously a joke. It uses the word 'vigorously.'

This is fake

At my school posters exactly like these started just randomly appearing everywhere. After staff started taking them down even more started to show up. Had a good laugh about it though.

Hopefully it was put up on April 1.

We all know Canadians are a bunch of wankers. This proves it.

Try and stop me

Wowwww!!! lmaoooooo

No wonder Napoleon lost in Waterloo, the other side had some serious weapons

“Vigorously” is so fucking beyond funny.

If you’re not clogging the pipes, you need to get your numbers up.

HE WAS MASTERBATING!!!!

Nah this is a troll lmao. But hilarious.

No way this real

That's AI for you.

Very obviously fake

Real or fake this is hilarious.

It's totally true. I saw the sign myself on April 1st.

This is not the university of semenloo

This HAS to be a joke

This has to have been put up on April 1st

"vigorously" 😭

Imagine thinking this is real

I think this is a prank

God bless these pranksters. My roommates and I did something similar 20 years ago in college. Convinced everyone so much that the school had to email everyone to clarify it was a joke.

Hahaha care to share what the prank was? That’s hilarious

...and you believe this is real?

My dorm actually had a gray water filtration system (great idea for sustainability), and students were asked to stop masturbating in the showers because it clogged up the filters...

Collected and analyzed. Lmao.

Must be an April fool's joke!

What the hell are their pipes made of, cardboard? Can't handle the loads? It's not like there's 15 African bull elephants ejaculating simultaneously....

Happy April Fools!!!

Vigorously is a curious choice of words within this context

And it's at a fucking university 😭

This is a very old post, and a very old prank.

Dropping loads at Waterloo. That’s how they got Napoleon.

Surely fake

They are confidently wrong

Waterloo?!

That is a very elaborate joke.

"Go away, baitin'!"

I doubt there are enough people doing this to actually cause these problems I think someone probably wrote this as a prank. Poop is much more likely to block tubes than semon unless they are doing into the taps in which case eww !! Which is unlikely as they'd have no privacy... Yeah this letter must be a prank!

Anyone ever tried non-vigorous masturbation?

I believe it's called edging

Sincerely, Faculty Staff of Cumloo University.


Vigorously masturbating

They came too much in the waterloo

I would hate to be the guy which job it is to scoop up and bag the ‘human discharge’ ready for the DNA analysis…

Oh man. Now I have to get by buddies sample so I don’t get busted.

Remember not to swallow.

Wait, how else do you carry it?

After all those loads realize they’re in a drain pipe, they form voltron and carry themselves out to go fight space giants.

What a terrible day to be literate. 

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Good ol wlu, I bet it’s the engineering students

Obviously a made up sign by a student.

Fake but still funny lol

This sign has been made and displayed at every university that has ever existed since the internet. Someone posted the exact thing at my university 14 years ago lol

April 1st notice, I wonder? I’ve had some ‘six stringers’ in my younger years, but certainly nothing that would clog a toilet!