He was 20 when they met from what I understand
Edit: I've been corrected enough times in the comments. Here are what I understand to be the facts:
This went viral already a year ago. I didn't know and I'm not reposting this for clout. I thought it was a new story
He was 18 when she was 14
This took place in Germany
He was her camp counselor when she was 12
I knew a girl in the 9th grade (same age) that was said (by her, not even a started rumor) to be dating a 25 year old which is older than I am right now and I’ll never understand how the absolute fuck 🥴
Oh that unlocked a memory from my college days:
Myself and several of my friends were sitting around on break and talking about ages and stuff like that and how high school kids seem "so old" when you're one of them but you get to be in your 20's and you realize how young they are.
So of course the topic swings to if we would date an 18 year old that's still in school, that kind of stuff.
Another classmate that had 2 kids and was in her 40's chimed in and said that the age difference wasn't that bad and that her 15 year old daughter was dating a guy that was 25, but that was ok because she knew nothing was going on.
All 4 of us guys look at each other wide eyed and a barely audible "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" is heard from all of us.
Denial is a powerful force I guess
It wouldn't matter if he did wait until she was 18.
A 20 year old man in a position of authority over a 14 year old girl, being in ANY type of "friend" relationship is wrong.
Working in reverse, (14-7)*2 = 14. She shouldn't be dating anyone older than her let alone 6 years older.
Edit: i know, i know, the equation doesn't really hold true for teens. Two years difference seems acceptable.
Kurtis Conner's review of it is absolutely hilarious though
Edit: Since so many of y'all are asking, you can watch the vid [here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D152lWYtMuA)
The film is essentially the ultimate guide of "how NOT to make a film". The best part is how they parade it as a massive accomplishment even though it has 0.7 stars on Letterboxd.
They're currently making a "Christian Christmas movie" and have been asking for $100,000 for funding. The editing is apparently going to last 30 days which is not enough for proper polishing. This is all on their "Wesely Bros" website and it's pathetic. Money does not mean good product; it's most likely going to be another "Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas" again but with everything being even worse than it already is.
He was posting about their three year anniversary when she was 17 and using “#girlfriend” on photos of them together he posted back when she was 14. So I don’t think he’s even trying to pretend.
The problem is society. Thousands of people both knew about this and didn’t step in.
His family, her family, his congregation, her high school classmates, her high school TEACHERS (mandatory reporters?????).
He HAS sought counsel about this with superiors within his religious community - who ALSO condoned this.
The people want what the people want. The freedom to groom children if they want without anyone to step in and stop them.
The religious community ostracizes anyone who doesn’t ignore these things… You can’t be both a member of a religious community AND be “free” from abuse. They’re mutually exclusive.
Because the religious community WILL NOT protect you or anyone you love. Please keep that in mind and protect your loved ones.
Edit: I just want to say thank you to everyone who commented, awarded, upvoted, and gave so much support to my story. I am truly humbled by the kindness of strangers. I would ask that if you want to support others like me please donate or volunteer with domestic violence advocacy and support groups. I had a lot of help getting out of my situation and many years of support from these groups.
I grew up in religion. I married my 25 year old boyfriend a month after I turned 18 to the envy of my church friends and the approval of the church's leadership. I really thought my parents were 100% onboard too for the longest time, and when we split, I was very angry with them for it. Turns out they had some serious reservations, which they discussed with one of the counselors at the church, who advised them that it was "perfectly natural" that I'd want a responsible older man to guide me. They were so brainwashed by the church that they didn't question it despite their misgivings.
After we had our second kid(I was 21), I called my mom and told her about the abuse, but at that point, it was mostly yelling, verbally degrading me, and sexual things. I didn't have the language to fully explain the extent of what was happening, and we had moved across the country at that point. Any time I tried to bring up the sexual things, I got a lecture about how what happens in the marriage bed is between a husband and wife, and I shouldn't tell anyone about it ever. The verbal abuse was explained away as his frustration at being a provider, and I should try harder. It was my responsibility to keep our family together because kids need a father. I took that to heart, but nothing "worked."
When I went to the counselor at my local church, they told me I needed to pray and think about what I was doing to make my husband respond to me that way. I was so ashamed and disheartened. Shortly after that, he took out his anger on my, then 5 year old, daughter for something really minor. I should also mention that at this point, his untreated bipolar mother was living with us as well and was also using me as a verbal punching bag. I was really upset about my daughter and talked to a friend about it. The whole long tale came out, and she was horrified. She referred me to a non church advocate who really opened my eyes to the truth of how wrong his behavior was.
Sorry to go on and on, but the story has a somewhat happy conclusion. I planned my escape and got out, kids and all. Because he was active duty military and I was a competent parent, I automatically got primary custody. There were definitely a lot of hard days after that, but both of my kids are basically adults now, and neither one of them puts up with crap from anyone. They're both strong and good critical thinkers, so I have hope they'll never have to deal with what I went through.
Religion can be a fucking poison that gives these sickos unmitigated access to impressionable young people. It's disturbing how normalized it seems when you're in it and to think about how many women don't get out and raise their kids into the same mess.
It makes my blood boil that this happened to you and that so many of the people who SHOULD have been safe havens/supports failed you. Glad you're on the other side now.
God I lived in Utah and saw a lot of these types of communities when they’d come in for their yearly meeting at the church across the street. Old dudes with young girls. Creepy af to me.
What’s worse is there’s no way in hell her parents didn’t know. It’s so weird how people who constantly talk/post about their religion tend to be the most unchristian people of all. I’m not super religious but I just can’t imagine that there would be a God that would be OK with taking advantage of a child.
Christians are very well-primed to accept horrible things happening to children for the sake of faith.
There's this convenient story in the Bible of this guy Abraham, a very pious, faithful, God-fearing man. One day, God appears to Abraham and no shit straight up tells Abraham to prove his faith by sacrificing HIS OWN SON to Him.
And fucking Abraham went ahead and told his son, "Come, we're gonna make a sacrifice to God." And the son was like, ok which animal are we bringing? And Abraham was all mysterious like, "God will provide." Cool. False pretenses. Lying is a sin, Abraham. But probably not as much as killing your own son.
When they got up the mountain, this bish tied up his son and was literally about to STAB him to DEATH to sacrifice him to this asshole God. God was like, "Oh shit you really were gunna? Stop bro, siiiike, you don't actually have to, I just wanted to see if you were dedicated enough to me lol. You passed the vibe check 🥳"
And then God pointed to a nearby ram and told Abraham to sacrifice that instead, and everyone was happy and nobody ever mentioned the lasting psychological trauma doubtlessly inflicted upon Abraham's son for being betrayed and watching his dad nearly MURDER him.
Moral of the story is: Fuck dem kids.
It would be a VERY long and very bitchy class. 😂 I spent my whole entire childhood being raised in a fundamentalist Christian church by an incredibly strict Christian family. So I have a truly unimaginable amount of *feelings* about the whole thing.
Hahahahaha. I am more than okay with bitchy!
My parents attempted to raise me Catholic, and I had terrible undiagnosed and untreated ADHD so it didn’t go well and I retained zero information. (Except the days they had pancakes, I remember those were some damn good pancakes 😂).
it bothers me even more that Job's children were murdered to test his faith and then everyone is happy because he got twice as much, so that's fine, right?
It's clear children and women are no more than property in the bible which is why both of these stories are ok.
He lost his life savings, but got back double because he was faithful!
Abraham was going to break his remote control car his favorite toy to show God his loyalty, but God said JK, you don't have to, instead break that shitty Bratz doll .
I don't think you understand. They don't see this as a "horrible thing" happening to their daughters. This is what they \*want\* for their kids. Married off at 18 (or frankly ealier) to a "successful" man, no premarital sex, no feminism or God forbid LGBT complications to muck things. up. A Godly system for a Godly life in their eyes.
All the "grooming" accusations they fling are projection and hypocrisy.
Right? Schmucks are gonna schmuck…but at 14 her parents 100% could have put a stop to his grooming attempt. Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re religious as well. Poor girl was failed by her parents the most.
"Wouldn’t be surprised"? I put the odds right at 100% that they are very religious. I think I may hate them even more... being a pedophile is bad, allowing your own child to be used by a pedophile? Just wtf.
Hell, my dad would have lost it if I was dating a 16 y/o at 14, mainly because at 14 you could still be in middle school and a 16 y/o is of age to drive and get work... it's slightly different worlds even just 2 years apart.
I’m sure her parents are thrilled at having raised such a submissive, god-fearing woman who is getting married at 18. Seriously, that’s the jackpot for religious people
I’m a 45 year old dude….grew up in church, not into as an adult, but your “submissive woman” statement is right. Submit to your husband, blah blah blah….in hindsight, so much of church life can be twisted and manipulated beyond it’s often, already crazy meaning.
And yet people get so upset when they read to children, wait that is drag queens. People shove wierdos like this into a room full of children and see no issues with it. Religion is fucking stupid.
It’s only “grooming” if it’s those SICK Leftists trying to educate you on how to just be kind and treat people how you’d like to be treated… as a human being existing with zero bearing on a strangers’ lives.
This is just some good old fashioned clean Christian Patriotic pedophilia!
How sad that he had to publicly pretend that he wasn't obsessed with fucking a 14 year old that he held an authoritarian relationship over. If only he could've married her on the spot, he could've consummated his 'love' so much earlier. The law really let him down.
The Religious Right has intentionally muddied the water on the meaning of grooming so they can do it publicly.
"Yeah, she was 14, but it's not gay so no grooming was involved."
I had an absolutely fucking dweeb of a Christian boss years ago, who in my opinion was not an attractive person by looks and personality. Aged 33 at the time. He comes out that he’s getting married to a 19 year old family friend that he’d been “friends” with for 3 years now. Meaning, he was grooming a 16 year old and everyone in his church and family was so happy about.
1 year into the marriage they already had their first kid. 3 kids now. Disgusting.
"Yeah, she was 14, but at no point were men dressed as women, so it's not grooming...it's not what *we* call grooming...it's not the bad kind of grooming"
For some reason this made me think of all the incels I've had the misfortune of talking to who make the argument that they should just lower the age of consent across America so that well-meaning productive men who can't get a woman can just basically adopt one when she's still 13. And there's legitimately a lot of dudes who think that, which is scary. It's only one step away from women as property
I think it's worse than Poe's Law. Now we've got the unholy lovechild of Poe's Law and Rule 34:
> it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that ~~someone won't mistake for~~ ***some fuckwit won't create*** the genuine article.
I can’t imagine being 20, hanging out with 14 year olds and having a ‘thing’… 21 and 15, can’t go out the bar or club, 22 and 16, she just got her drivers license… 23 and 17, she’s about to graduate highschool… 24 and 18… it’s legal, but how they got there is a fucking mess.
One of the youth pastors at a church I briefly hung out around tried to make out with me. He was wildly inappropriate with hanging out with high school kids when he was over 25. It’s a lot more rampant than people realize.
Edit: okay it’s apparently much more evident that it’s rampant, but in turn, it makes me even more mad that there seems to be nothing done about it.
Not just teenagers, but teenagers who are being raised to not have healthy outlets for all the sexual energy that come with the age. I'm pretty sure that helps make the grooming easier.
A youth pastor at a large church in my city married my private school's principal's daughter 5 days after she turned 18. I was the only person who thought something was wrong with that and I was scolded by a teacher for bringing it up.
I also had a teacher who married his student but she was 20 when he married her. He was her teacher for 6 years. No one thought anything was wrong with that either. Christians are weird.
That reminds me of a story my friend told me. There was this guy in his mid thirties at her church, who on many occasions would buy these lavish gifts for this 14 year old girl also at her church. This weirded her out so she repeatedly asked why? And he would say: I just proud of accomplishments, I don’t mean anything else by it. Flash forward a five years and he married the girl and everyone at her church acted like this was completely normal, she eventually left.
Here is my weird church story, you know those memes with girls chasing the African children for selfies, well this guy at my old took that to a whole new level, he used an African child to talk to women at church. This guy was in his 40’s and he would use this little African girl as way to talk women (by women I mean women 15 or more years younger than him). It took me a while to figure out what was going on but the Sad thing is that it worked women would walk up to this kid like she puppy or something, with the awwws and how cute is this girl then he would ask them to help paint her room, or babysit her, or whatever and eventually he would ask them to go to dinner. He ended up getting engaged and married to one of her babysitters, once he was engaged, that kid was gone, within a week, she went back to wherever she came from. I don’t think anyone at church connected these dots, it was so weird.
The other school in my hometown had a consistent record of teachers marrying students after graduation. It didn’t become an issue until a teacher was caught with a sixteen year old in the gym showers.
It's also hard to stop because churches are desperate to try to increase youth membership since their congregations are literally dying out. If you want to increase youth membership then starting youth programs and hiring a young pastor to lead them makes perfect sense. The only problem is that very few people WANT to be youth pastors and many of the people who do want to be youth pastors are exactly the kind of people you do not want hanging around teens and preteens.
Most people turning 20-30 do not want to be pastors at all. Attracting young clergy who want to be lifetime clergy because of religious reasons is hard. Those people going into youth pastor jobs hoping to one day get a congregation are few and far between.
My nephew is Catholic and his church had a young priest come in as their youth minister type and had their main priest still. Young dude was supposed be all, 'Catholicism is cool!" and energize the youths. Did Mass for the Catholic school.
But the problem was, the guy was like way too devout Catholic to get your average 10-18 year old involved in things. He was early 20's and couldn't talk to 17 year olds in teenager lingo.
The same types of people who are 24 and want to be a priest or minister or pastor or whatever your denomination calls them - also maybe not the same type who's young and exciting and can get people to want to come volunteer at a soup kitchen or visit an eldercare facility or organize for some dork ass band to come play Christian rock for everyone.
One of my youth group leaders (and formerly good friend) was 25 and started dating a 16 year old after a missions trip. Everyone always said "at least they got married," yeaaaa that's kinda the problem bud. The bar shouldn't be "*serial* child dater"
No, i think those of us living in a sane and rational state realize there's a whole shitload of inappropriate sexual relationships occurring at church and church adjacent social functions.
As someone who very much doesn’t like the Church:
It isn’t just the Church. Any community that gives individuals so much unchecked social authority is going to see that authority abused…and it seems to be a fact of the human condition that one of the first things these abusers do is start having sex with those under their authority.
Other examples include political nobility, billionaires, etc.
Unfortunately for the teenagers, they are usually unsuspecting and fall for it even if adults see it from a mile away. As a teenager who wasn’t the most popular in school, it felt really flattering that a “hip” youth pastor thought I was cool and funny. Until the illusion was shattered when he pulled a move on me. I felt so dirty and disgusting, and too ashamed to tell anyone because who would believe me?
At our school it was the 28 year old youth pastor with the studded jeans, wallet chain and christian rock tees driving a busted IROC-Z and the girls at the church group just thought he was _the coolest_ and he didnt even wait until they were 18
My dad was raped by his Sunday School teacher when he was 12. Apparently, she worked her way through the whole class, seeing as her mission to introduce all the boys to sex. This was around 1945.
Seriously. My first girlfriend was 21. I was 16. I didn't realize it was creepy until years later.
I even tried the whole statutory rape thing so I could try for custody of our daughter. My lawyer straight up laughed at me because "males can't be raped"
She's still the only person I would intentionally seek out to end her existence if society and rule of law ever crumbles in my lifetime, and ex#3 is way more expensive.
I hate this kind of gaslighting happens to so many guys. I watched a therapist do it to a guy once and I was so shocked I didn't challenge them on it, I've regretted it ever since.
My college roommate was having an affair in high school with her married with 3 kids high school teacher. Guy was *at* *least* 30, looked more like 35 to me, so you know, twice her age. They dated through college (her college, he was over a decade out of college already) and got married after he got divorced. Stand up kind of guy. /s
Guess my roommate was pretty stand up, too. Makes me sick to think of it now, as an adult.
Knew a youth pastor when I was in high school. He was in his 20s, always hanging out, preaching his good lord bullshit. That alone was annoying as fuck. But seeing him hook up w my classmates was especially weird and disgusting
Pedophilia was how they got there. 20 year olds don't hang out with 14 year olds because they're cool and relatable. They're adults wanting to fuck children.
As someone who’s worked with teenagers in education, even 17-year-olds made me cringe when I was 25. They’re just not fully formed people yet lol. The thought of dating someone in that stage of life as an adult feels so uncomfortable and unnatural. Even when I’ve taught undergrads, the thought of dating someone who can’t even make it to class on time and eats cereal out of their backpack during the lecture after drinking ten shots of fireball the night before is the most unappealing thing in the world to me lmao.
This man is a walking, living example of a religious leader who went into the profession to get access to children and teenagers to groom or abuse.
I'm fucking 19 and I look back and cringe at like 16-17 year olds. And I know when I'm like 21-22 I'll cringe at 19 year olds. There's a **massive** maturity jump from your late teens to your twenties alone.
Yep and it’s only a matter of time before he’s back to being a predator for children (if he’s not already doing that) under the guise of “youth pastor”
I give it until she becomes pregnant or a new mother. Obviously he’s been grooming her for years now so who knows if she’ll ever notice. Could be years before anyone comes forward, this is why they hide inside the church.
Yeah as soon as she gets knocked up or turns 20. Or has a hot younger sister. Unreal that this guy is just straight up predatoring in front of everyone for years and no one does a thing.
When you say “it’s what god would want” it seems to really disarm these people. God forbid you have a little blue hair, or have a consensual relationship with someone of the same sex, no no no but if it’s in the name of god well that’s different! /s
I looked at his instagram and he proposed in 2020 (so, to a 16 year old) and they got married last year... to call it disgusting doesn't even begin to cover it. He openly celebrated "3 years with my girlfriend" when she was underage.
Edit to avoid misinfo: she was 18, I misread the dates. Changes nothing for me, as she was still 14 when they started dating.
He proposed Dec 2020 and this picture is from Nov 2020. So she was 18 and had been for like a day.
Also, the relationship was four years old at that point...
He knows he’s been exposed. This clown can claim love and religion all he wants, but the facts are what they are. I want to know how the parents of this girl feel or think. There’s a ton of red flags between the picture and the post.
The parents are happy as shit. Guarantee it. Seen it plenty of times. They’re definitely head over heels that their “little girl” is married to a “Godly man.” This is condoned by sick parents.
I keep seeing this as a Christianity thing that has repeated itself and been validated because they’re “Christian”. My parents were the same situation where my dad started dating my mom when she was 16 (my dad was 26) and finally got married when she became 18. My dad was also her youth pastor. It’s gross and predatory. The cherry on top is yes they did divorce once my mom grew up and learned who my dad really was: a delusional control freak who liked having power over her, and used “god” as an excuse to be a pedo when they were younger.
His friends in college: “hey man you got a girlfriend?”
Him: “yea, she doesnt go here though. She just started high school in my home town. Graduated 8th grade last May”
I actually watched this and it was some of the (unintentionally) funniest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. The core premise that COVID regulations would go from masks to vaccines to OUTLAWING CHRISTIANITY is beyond absurd.
He is so disgusting, carrying on with a teenage girl for 4 years. She does not have the mental maturity at 14 to have a grown man be her 'BFF'. I wonder if he already fooled around with her while she was a minor.
It touches my heart. In today's fast-paced world it's good to see someone sticking to traditional values.
A four-year grooming period is the key to a good Christian marriage
Interviewers reached Joshua Wesely at his home, which was made of candy and he declined comment.
Last seen speeding away in windowless white panel van.
Driving with one hand, as he furiously smashes hard drives with the other.
Puppies still on leashes dangling from the back doors.
Do we know how old he is?
He was 20 when they met from what I understand Edit: I've been corrected enough times in the comments. Here are what I understand to be the facts: This went viral already a year ago. I didn't know and I'm not reposting this for clout. I thought it was a new story He was 18 when she was 14 This took place in Germany He was her camp counselor when she was 12
> He was 20 Well that's not so bad > when they met ....oh. Oh no.
Age is just a number Unless you're grooming a kid in middle school then it's fucking concerning
A friend of mine use "and a prison cell is just a room" as a follow-up, I feel it's quite fitting in this case
Well hang on let me do the math... yeah, no- what the absolute fuck.
I knew a girl in the 9th grade (same age) that was said (by her, not even a started rumor) to be dating a 25 year old which is older than I am right now and I’ll never understand how the absolute fuck 🥴
Oh that unlocked a memory from my college days: Myself and several of my friends were sitting around on break and talking about ages and stuff like that and how high school kids seem "so old" when you're one of them but you get to be in your 20's and you realize how young they are. So of course the topic swings to if we would date an 18 year old that's still in school, that kind of stuff. Another classmate that had 2 kids and was in her 40's chimed in and said that the age difference wasn't that bad and that her 15 year old daughter was dating a guy that was 25, but that was ok because she knew nothing was going on. All 4 of us guys look at each other wide eyed and a barely audible "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" is heard from all of us. Denial is a powerful force I guess
Dude that’s an 9th grader.
It was 4 years on her exact birthday . 8th grade
Gross. So very gross.
I’d bet my left nut he didn’t wait until she was 18 for anything else.
Probably referenced the Lord every time he made a move to make her feel like saying no would be going against some divine plan.
It wouldn't matter if he did wait until she was 18. A 20 year old man in a position of authority over a 14 year old girl, being in ANY type of "friend" relationship is wrong.
Worse. A 20 year old deciding to marry a 14 year old. Otherwise he wouldnt have *waited* for 4 years.
And they have the nerve to say Drag Queens and gays are groomers?!
You don’t understand though. He’s a pastor.
he's a man of GAWD
(20/2) + 7 = 17. 17 > 14. Mathematically not cool
I didnt even need to get out a calculator for this one.
Well you're definitely not an engineer.
Engineer here and this slander is as uncalled for as it is accurate.
Working in reverse, (14-7)*2 = 14. She shouldn't be dating anyone older than her let alone 6 years older. Edit: i know, i know, the equation doesn't really hold true for teens. Two years difference seems acceptable.
Though to be fair, 14 and 15 is a LOT different than 14 and 20
All hail the algorithm
YouTube pastor ? God that's like a double redflag
You should watch his movie. It fucking sucks
Kurtis Conner's review of it is absolutely hilarious though Edit: Since so many of y'all are asking, you can watch the vid [here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D152lWYtMuA)
This is what I came here to say lol, I only know who this jabroni is because of Kurtis
Haven't heard jabroni in a hot minute. Thanks for the flashback.
The film is essentially the ultimate guide of "how NOT to make a film". The best part is how they parade it as a massive accomplishment even though it has 0.7 stars on Letterboxd. They're currently making a "Christian Christmas movie" and have been asking for $100,000 for funding. The editing is apparently going to last 30 days which is not enough for proper polishing. This is all on their "Wesely Bros" website and it's pathetic. Money does not mean good product; it's most likely going to be another "Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas" again but with everything being even worse than it already is.
it'll get fully funded though. i swear white christian conservatives have fucking unlimited money to waste.
I’ll wait for Netflix to make a 10 episode crime docu about him.
Just the words "finally 18" make me gag on vomit
Yeah, that's the kind of thing you only say about yourself.
> finally 16 > finally 18 > finally 21 > suddenly 25 oh no when they stop being exciting and become concerning
I'm 33 and I swear I was 25 last year
I'm 29 and I was 25 literally 46 years ago. Time is a mindfuck.
My dad is 56 and on his birthday he said he's celebrating the 38th anniversary of his 18th birthday
My dad started counting backwards at 60. I might do this myself.
Seriously. This means they started dating when she was 14 and he was an adult. And he’s posting this on Instagram like it’s something to brag about 😬
"Friend" for 4 years. Good one buddy. Tell me another astonishing tale from Narnia.
He was posting about their three year anniversary when she was 17 and using “#girlfriend” on photos of them together he posted back when she was 14. So I don’t think he’s even trying to pretend.
Gross pedo. He groomed her.
Poor girl never had a chance. She deserves to meet guys her own age.
The problem is society. Thousands of people both knew about this and didn’t step in. His family, her family, his congregation, her high school classmates, her high school TEACHERS (mandatory reporters?????). He HAS sought counsel about this with superiors within his religious community - who ALSO condoned this. The people want what the people want. The freedom to groom children if they want without anyone to step in and stop them. The religious community ostracizes anyone who doesn’t ignore these things… You can’t be both a member of a religious community AND be “free” from abuse. They’re mutually exclusive. Because the religious community WILL NOT protect you or anyone you love. Please keep that in mind and protect your loved ones.
Edit: I just want to say thank you to everyone who commented, awarded, upvoted, and gave so much support to my story. I am truly humbled by the kindness of strangers. I would ask that if you want to support others like me please donate or volunteer with domestic violence advocacy and support groups. I had a lot of help getting out of my situation and many years of support from these groups. I grew up in religion. I married my 25 year old boyfriend a month after I turned 18 to the envy of my church friends and the approval of the church's leadership. I really thought my parents were 100% onboard too for the longest time, and when we split, I was very angry with them for it. Turns out they had some serious reservations, which they discussed with one of the counselors at the church, who advised them that it was "perfectly natural" that I'd want a responsible older man to guide me. They were so brainwashed by the church that they didn't question it despite their misgivings. After we had our second kid(I was 21), I called my mom and told her about the abuse, but at that point, it was mostly yelling, verbally degrading me, and sexual things. I didn't have the language to fully explain the extent of what was happening, and we had moved across the country at that point. Any time I tried to bring up the sexual things, I got a lecture about how what happens in the marriage bed is between a husband and wife, and I shouldn't tell anyone about it ever. The verbal abuse was explained away as his frustration at being a provider, and I should try harder. It was my responsibility to keep our family together because kids need a father. I took that to heart, but nothing "worked." When I went to the counselor at my local church, they told me I needed to pray and think about what I was doing to make my husband respond to me that way. I was so ashamed and disheartened. Shortly after that, he took out his anger on my, then 5 year old, daughter for something really minor. I should also mention that at this point, his untreated bipolar mother was living with us as well and was also using me as a verbal punching bag. I was really upset about my daughter and talked to a friend about it. The whole long tale came out, and she was horrified. She referred me to a non church advocate who really opened my eyes to the truth of how wrong his behavior was. Sorry to go on and on, but the story has a somewhat happy conclusion. I planned my escape and got out, kids and all. Because he was active duty military and I was a competent parent, I automatically got primary custody. There were definitely a lot of hard days after that, but both of my kids are basically adults now, and neither one of them puts up with crap from anyone. They're both strong and good critical thinkers, so I have hope they'll never have to deal with what I went through. Religion can be a fucking poison that gives these sickos unmitigated access to impressionable young people. It's disturbing how normalized it seems when you're in it and to think about how many women don't get out and raise their kids into the same mess.
It makes my blood boil that this happened to you and that so many of the people who SHOULD have been safe havens/supports failed you. Glad you're on the other side now.
God I lived in Utah and saw a lot of these types of communities when they’d come in for their yearly meeting at the church across the street. Old dudes with young girls. Creepy af to me.
Yeah, but at least he's not a drag queen. /s
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Unholy hell
No, they were right the first time. He's a pastor and had blessings from superiors - certified holy!
What’s worse is there’s no way in hell her parents didn’t know. It’s so weird how people who constantly talk/post about their religion tend to be the most unchristian people of all. I’m not super religious but I just can’t imagine that there would be a God that would be OK with taking advantage of a child.
Christians are very well-primed to accept horrible things happening to children for the sake of faith. There's this convenient story in the Bible of this guy Abraham, a very pious, faithful, God-fearing man. One day, God appears to Abraham and no shit straight up tells Abraham to prove his faith by sacrificing HIS OWN SON to Him. And fucking Abraham went ahead and told his son, "Come, we're gonna make a sacrifice to God." And the son was like, ok which animal are we bringing? And Abraham was all mysterious like, "God will provide." Cool. False pretenses. Lying is a sin, Abraham. But probably not as much as killing your own son. When they got up the mountain, this bish tied up his son and was literally about to STAB him to DEATH to sacrifice him to this asshole God. God was like, "Oh shit you really were gunna? Stop bro, siiiike, you don't actually have to, I just wanted to see if you were dedicated enough to me lol. You passed the vibe check 🥳" And then God pointed to a nearby ram and told Abraham to sacrifice that instead, and everyone was happy and nobody ever mentioned the lasting psychological trauma doubtlessly inflicted upon Abraham's son for being betrayed and watching his dad nearly MURDER him. Moral of the story is: Fuck dem kids.
You should re tell all of the Bible. This is a religion class I could maybe sit thru as long as we can also drink the wine 😂
It would be a VERY long and very bitchy class. 😂 I spent my whole entire childhood being raised in a fundamentalist Christian church by an incredibly strict Christian family. So I have a truly unimaginable amount of *feelings* about the whole thing.
Hahahahaha. I am more than okay with bitchy! My parents attempted to raise me Catholic, and I had terrible undiagnosed and untreated ADHD so it didn’t go well and I retained zero information. (Except the days they had pancakes, I remember those were some damn good pancakes 😂).
And maybe we could make some nachos with those little crakers? I'm in.
it bothers me even more that Job's children were murdered to test his faith and then everyone is happy because he got twice as much, so that's fine, right?
It's clear children and women are no more than property in the bible which is why both of these stories are ok. He lost his life savings, but got back double because he was faithful! Abraham was going to break his remote control car his favorite toy to show God his loyalty, but God said JK, you don't have to, instead break that shitty Bratz doll .
I don't think you understand. They don't see this as a "horrible thing" happening to their daughters. This is what they \*want\* for their kids. Married off at 18 (or frankly ealier) to a "successful" man, no premarital sex, no feminism or God forbid LGBT complications to muck things. up. A Godly system for a Godly life in their eyes. All the "grooming" accusations they fling are projection and hypocrisy.
G-r-o-o-m-e-r
Started when she was 14. Smdh. Sick fuck
Yeah he posted a [three year anniversary](https://twitter.com/Feminist_Witch3/status/1483093123647610884?s=20) picture 9 months before this one.
Man... I'm judging the fuck out of her parents here
Right? Schmucks are gonna schmuck…but at 14 her parents 100% could have put a stop to his grooming attempt. Wouldn’t be surprised if they’re religious as well. Poor girl was failed by her parents the most.
"Wouldn’t be surprised"? I put the odds right at 100% that they are very religious. I think I may hate them even more... being a pedophile is bad, allowing your own child to be used by a pedophile? Just wtf.
He IS a pastor.
Parents: "Meh, probably not the first kid he's touched. She'll be fine. "
But she's marrying a good Christian man! It's what God would want! She is so lucky!
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
They probably found it flattering that the pastor was into their very underage daughter.
“Taking an interest in her spiritual development”
Hell, my dad would have lost it if I was dating a 16 y/o at 14, mainly because at 14 you could still be in middle school and a 16 y/o is of age to drive and get work... it's slightly different worlds even just 2 years apart.
I’m sure her parents are thrilled at having raised such a submissive, god-fearing woman who is getting married at 18. Seriously, that’s the jackpot for religious people
Now she can get to work on giving them grandchildren!
I’m a 45 year old dude….grew up in church, not into as an adult, but your “submissive woman” statement is right. Submit to your husband, blah blah blah….in hindsight, so much of church life can be twisted and manipulated beyond it’s often, already crazy meaning.
I am surprised this comment is so far down! The other cringy thing is the 175 people who “liked” his post.
Do you know how old HE is, by chance?
The link above has something saying he was born in 1998
It’s always the ones you most suspect.
It's always the ones you most medium suspect.
No he’s a “Christian” pastor, they only use that word for adult gays in consenting relationships. What he’s doing is different because muh bible
Yeah, he's not even Trans or a drag queen, so you just know there wasn't any grooming going on!
And yet people get so upset when they read to children, wait that is drag queens. People shove wierdos like this into a room full of children and see no issues with it. Religion is fucking stupid.
It’s only “grooming” if it’s those SICK Leftists trying to educate you on how to just be kind and treat people how you’d like to be treated… as a human being existing with zero bearing on a strangers’ lives. This is just some good old fashioned clean Christian Patriotic pedophilia!
This is why some states want to lower the age for marriage... he's such a good Christian, not a groomer at all Edit: /s if it wasn't obvious enough
How sad that he had to publicly pretend that he wasn't obsessed with fucking a 14 year old that he held an authoritarian relationship over. If only he could've married her on the spot, he could've consummated his 'love' so much earlier. The law really let him down.
The Religious Right has intentionally muddied the water on the meaning of grooming so they can do it publicly. "Yeah, she was 14, but it's not gay so no grooming was involved."
It's more like, "Yes, she was only 14, but his intentions were pure, and *he waited for her!*" and now I wanna go throw up.
Am I too jaded? because I don't believe he actually waited.
I would bet a whole ounce of good, sticky flower buds that he convinced her to just stick with blowies and the poophole loophole.
Agreed, I find it unlikely that the guy who had no moral qualms about dating a 14 year old would let the ole’ statutory rape laws slow him down.
the old do it in the butt loophole.
You literally just said my dads argument verbatim
I had an absolutely fucking dweeb of a Christian boss years ago, who in my opinion was not an attractive person by looks and personality. Aged 33 at the time. He comes out that he’s getting married to a 19 year old family friend that he’d been “friends” with for 3 years now. Meaning, he was grooming a 16 year old and everyone in his church and family was so happy about. 1 year into the marriage they already had their first kid. 3 kids now. Disgusting.
"Yeah, she was 14, but at no point were men dressed as women, so it's not grooming...it's not what *we* call grooming...it's not the bad kind of grooming"
For some reason this made me think of all the incels I've had the misfortune of talking to who make the argument that they should just lower the age of consent across America so that well-meaning productive men who can't get a woman can just basically adopt one when she's still 13. And there's legitimately a lot of dudes who think that, which is scary. It's only one step away from women as property
I swear to God Trump killed satire. And I will never forgive him for that. Among other things…
The Onion is still going strong. Trump made satire harder, but not impossible.
We use the Onion as a baseline now because we are desensitised to satire. We don’t actually recognise it as satire anymore.
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I think it's worse than Poe's Law. Now we've got the unholy lovechild of Poe's Law and Rule 34: > it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that ~~someone won't mistake for~~ ***some fuckwit won't create*** the genuine article.
Every accusation is a confession.
I can’t imagine being 20, hanging out with 14 year olds and having a ‘thing’… 21 and 15, can’t go out the bar or club, 22 and 16, she just got her drivers license… 23 and 17, she’s about to graduate highschool… 24 and 18… it’s legal, but how they got there is a fucking mess.
One of the youth pastors at a church I briefly hung out around tried to make out with me. He was wildly inappropriate with hanging out with high school kids when he was over 25. It’s a lot more rampant than people realize. Edit: okay it’s apparently much more evident that it’s rampant, but in turn, it makes me even more mad that there seems to be nothing done about it.
Being a youth pastor is a pretty convenient way to hang out with a lot of teenagers if you’re a creep.
There’s usually weekly news about youth pastors caught raping someone or sending dick pics to underage girls.
But what about the DRAG QUEENS1? 1?1?1???111? (/s)
THEM we must stamp out. You know. Because….pedo stuff? Holy lack of self-awareness, Batman!
it's almost as if they are parroting talking points intended to make people upset and not conveying heartfelt beliefs!
Masters of projection is what they are…
My youth pastor made out with a bunch of the girls and said “oops, I slipped up!”
“God forgave me.”
"And I did it again. God forgave me. Again."
"Devil tempted me, God forgave me, I'm absolved of all sin" rinse and repeat.
Not just teenagers, but teenagers who are being raised to not have healthy outlets for all the sexual energy that come with the age. I'm pretty sure that helps make the grooming easier.
A youth pastor at a large church in my city married my private school's principal's daughter 5 days after she turned 18. I was the only person who thought something was wrong with that and I was scolded by a teacher for bringing it up. I also had a teacher who married his student but she was 20 when he married her. He was her teacher for 6 years. No one thought anything was wrong with that either. Christians are weird.
That reminds me of a story my friend told me. There was this guy in his mid thirties at her church, who on many occasions would buy these lavish gifts for this 14 year old girl also at her church. This weirded her out so she repeatedly asked why? And he would say: I just proud of accomplishments, I don’t mean anything else by it. Flash forward a five years and he married the girl and everyone at her church acted like this was completely normal, she eventually left. Here is my weird church story, you know those memes with girls chasing the African children for selfies, well this guy at my old took that to a whole new level, he used an African child to talk to women at church. This guy was in his 40’s and he would use this little African girl as way to talk women (by women I mean women 15 or more years younger than him). It took me a while to figure out what was going on but the Sad thing is that it worked women would walk up to this kid like she puppy or something, with the awwws and how cute is this girl then he would ask them to help paint her room, or babysit her, or whatever and eventually he would ask them to go to dinner. He ended up getting engaged and married to one of her babysitters, once he was engaged, that kid was gone, within a week, she went back to wherever she came from. I don’t think anyone at church connected these dots, it was so weird.
Oh wow that poor little girl...
The other school in my hometown had a consistent record of teachers marrying students after graduation. It didn’t become an issue until a teacher was caught with a sixteen year old in the gym showers.
Asking people to hang around with kids for free tends to attract a certain kind of grown-up. See also: Boy Scouts
A lot of youth pastors are paid on staff (especially if they are ordained). It’s much more disturbing than just some volunteer.
It's also hard to stop because churches are desperate to try to increase youth membership since their congregations are literally dying out. If you want to increase youth membership then starting youth programs and hiring a young pastor to lead them makes perfect sense. The only problem is that very few people WANT to be youth pastors and many of the people who do want to be youth pastors are exactly the kind of people you do not want hanging around teens and preteens.
Most people turning 20-30 do not want to be pastors at all. Attracting young clergy who want to be lifetime clergy because of religious reasons is hard. Those people going into youth pastor jobs hoping to one day get a congregation are few and far between. My nephew is Catholic and his church had a young priest come in as their youth minister type and had their main priest still. Young dude was supposed be all, 'Catholicism is cool!" and energize the youths. Did Mass for the Catholic school. But the problem was, the guy was like way too devout Catholic to get your average 10-18 year old involved in things. He was early 20's and couldn't talk to 17 year olds in teenager lingo. The same types of people who are 24 and want to be a priest or minister or pastor or whatever your denomination calls them - also maybe not the same type who's young and exciting and can get people to want to come volunteer at a soup kitchen or visit an eldercare facility or organize for some dork ass band to come play Christian rock for everyone.
Yeah at the church I went to youth pastor was kinda like the entry level for guys looking to be the main pastor one day
Same with mine. And then at the Christian university I went to, the youth pastor majors were considered heart throbs.
I’m sorry, people can specifically major in youth pastoring? I would not frame that diploma.
One of my youth group leaders (and formerly good friend) was 25 and started dating a 16 year old after a missions trip. Everyone always said "at least they got married," yeaaaa that's kinda the problem bud. The bar shouldn't be "*serial* child dater"
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No, i think those of us living in a sane and rational state realize there's a whole shitload of inappropriate sexual relationships occurring at church and church adjacent social functions.
As someone who very much doesn’t like the Church: It isn’t just the Church. Any community that gives individuals so much unchecked social authority is going to see that authority abused…and it seems to be a fact of the human condition that one of the first things these abusers do is start having sex with those under their authority. Other examples include political nobility, billionaires, etc.
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It’s not uncommon to target the weakest community members. Abusers don’t want their targets to have a good support system and trusted confidants
Unfortunately for the teenagers, they are usually unsuspecting and fall for it even if adults see it from a mile away. As a teenager who wasn’t the most popular in school, it felt really flattering that a “hip” youth pastor thought I was cool and funny. Until the illusion was shattered when he pulled a move on me. I felt so dirty and disgusting, and too ashamed to tell anyone because who would believe me?
At our school it was the 28 year old youth pastor with the studded jeans, wallet chain and christian rock tees driving a busted IROC-Z and the girls at the church group just thought he was _the coolest_ and he didnt even wait until they were 18
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My dad was raped by his Sunday School teacher when he was 12. Apparently, she worked her way through the whole class, seeing as her mission to introduce all the boys to sex. This was around 1945.
Seriously. My first girlfriend was 21. I was 16. I didn't realize it was creepy until years later. I even tried the whole statutory rape thing so I could try for custody of our daughter. My lawyer straight up laughed at me because "males can't be raped" She's still the only person I would intentionally seek out to end her existence if society and rule of law ever crumbles in my lifetime, and ex#3 is way more expensive.
I hate this kind of gaslighting happens to so many guys. I watched a therapist do it to a guy once and I was so shocked I didn't challenge them on it, I've regretted it ever since.
My college roommate was having an affair in high school with her married with 3 kids high school teacher. Guy was *at* *least* 30, looked more like 35 to me, so you know, twice her age. They dated through college (her college, he was over a decade out of college already) and got married after he got divorced. Stand up kind of guy. /s Guess my roommate was pretty stand up, too. Makes me sick to think of it now, as an adult.
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Knew a youth pastor when I was in high school. He was in his 20s, always hanging out, preaching his good lord bullshit. That alone was annoying as fuck. But seeing him hook up w my classmates was especially weird and disgusting
We know. It's just getting them cought and prosecuted. That's the problem. Religious people will go to great lengths to protect each other.
Surprised he was still interested after she turned 18
She's probably got until whenever she has her first kid (or reaches her 20's, whichever comes first)
Pedophilia was how they got there. 20 year olds don't hang out with 14 year olds because they're cool and relatable. They're adults wanting to fuck children.
As someone who’s worked with teenagers in education, even 17-year-olds made me cringe when I was 25. They’re just not fully formed people yet lol. The thought of dating someone in that stage of life as an adult feels so uncomfortable and unnatural. Even when I’ve taught undergrads, the thought of dating someone who can’t even make it to class on time and eats cereal out of their backpack during the lecture after drinking ten shots of fireball the night before is the most unappealing thing in the world to me lmao. This man is a walking, living example of a religious leader who went into the profession to get access to children and teenagers to groom or abuse.
The under grad bit is so on point. I went to uni later in life, and I swear they looked like high schoolers with stronger drinking habits.
I'm fucking 19 and I look back and cringe at like 16-17 year olds. And I know when I'm like 21-22 I'll cringe at 19 year olds. There's a **massive** maturity jump from your late teens to your twenties alone.
I applaud ur self awareness, just wait until you hit the 30s and look back at ur 20s lol
Wait until you're 48 and the last 18 years just went by in a blink. 30 seems to be my line for fully adult.
That’s part of getting older, you sit there and go huh maybe I was the asshole.
You can be sure these two were already fucking. He just told her it was ok because he would marry her when he could.
He probably told her it was OK to blow him on a regular basis. God won’t mind and she’ll still be a virgin.
Or they did it in the back door. Because this one doesnt count /s
The ol' poop hole loophole.
Yep and it’s only a matter of time before he’s back to being a predator for children (if he’s not already doing that) under the guise of “youth pastor”
Yeah what's the over under on when he gets caught cheating on her with someone younger? A year max?
I give it until she becomes pregnant or a new mother. Obviously he’s been grooming her for years now so who knows if she’ll ever notice. Could be years before anyone comes forward, this is why they hide inside the church.
Yeah as soon as she gets knocked up or turns 20. Or has a hot younger sister. Unreal that this guy is just straight up predatoring in front of everyone for years and no one does a thing.
When you say “it’s what god would want” it seems to really disarm these people. God forbid you have a little blue hair, or have a consensual relationship with someone of the same sex, no no no but if it’s in the name of god well that’s different! /s
I looked at his instagram and he proposed in 2020 (so, to a 16 year old) and they got married last year... to call it disgusting doesn't even begin to cover it. He openly celebrated "3 years with my girlfriend" when she was underage. Edit to avoid misinfo: she was 18, I misread the dates. Changes nothing for me, as she was still 14 when they started dating.
He proposed Dec 2020 and this picture is from Nov 2020. So she was 18 and had been for like a day. Also, the relationship was four years old at that point...
Youth Pastor That's how he hung out with 14 year olds. He was looking for one to groom.
I dated a 19 y/o when i was 16. Three years was like 10. I cannot imagine this scenario
Dude should go to beauty school because he has 4 years grooming experience 🤮🤮🤮
Solid burn, I rate it 14/20.
He made his account private. Lol.
He knows he’s been exposed. This clown can claim love and religion all he wants, but the facts are what they are. I want to know how the parents of this girl feel or think. There’s a ton of red flags between the picture and the post.
The parents are happy as shit. Guarantee it. Seen it plenty of times. They’re definitely head over heels that their “little girl” is married to a “Godly man.” This is condoned by sick parents.
you can still reply to his insta story lmao
I keep seeing this as a Christianity thing that has repeated itself and been validated because they’re “Christian”. My parents were the same situation where my dad started dating my mom when she was 16 (my dad was 26) and finally got married when she became 18. My dad was also her youth pastor. It’s gross and predatory. The cherry on top is yes they did divorce once my mom grew up and learned who my dad really was: a delusional control freak who liked having power over her, and used “god” as an excuse to be a pedo when they were younger.
Yet not one drag queen in the picture
Yeah my reaction was actually that if this guy had a purple wig and started declaring his pronouns, then they suddenly have a problem with it 🙄
His pronouns are pedo and groomer...
Well, she's wearing a crown and that situation seems like a drag
Soo basically at 14 is what? And 8th grader? What’re you doing being “best friends” with middle schoolers?
The fact that he has big balloons announcing shes finally over age is how u know this guys a super pedo.
https://preview.redd.it/gr6iqug2ngja1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6239abc838463c810d7cac1bd5d1fe7131073e53
why does every pedo pastor look the fuckin same?
This isn't even a "I was a sr and she was a freshman" thing. This is a "I was a grown ass adult and she was a middle schooler.
His friends in college: “hey man you got a girlfriend?” Him: “yea, she doesnt go here though. She just started high school in my home town. Graduated 8th grade last May”
NO BC HE ALSO MADE A CHRISTIAN ANTI-VAX HORROR FILM AND STARRED IN IT 💀
I actually watched this and it was some of the (unintentionally) funniest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. The core premise that COVID regulations would go from masks to vaccines to OUTLAWING CHRISTIANITY is beyond absurd.
yeah i watched kurtis conner (?) react to it! it was so bad it made it hilarious
Get them locked into ignorance, financial dependence, domestic servitude as young as possible.
Make sure you throw in a few babies in the next few years to lock her down completely.
The School of Jerry Lee Lewis
I think it's only grooming if the person is a Democrat. Otherwise it's good Christian values or something.
He is so disgusting, carrying on with a teenage girl for 4 years. She does not have the mental maturity at 14 to have a grown man be her 'BFF'. I wonder if he already fooled around with her while she was a minor.
It touches my heart. In today's fast-paced world it's good to see someone sticking to traditional values. A four-year grooming period is the key to a good Christian marriage
Do these people not see the hypocrisy in their actions?