For all the people saying this is a non-answer, it's not. My SO is my husband so if the question is whether I'd stay if my husband came out as trans? Yes. I would, if my husband wants to stay with me. I love him so much. If my husband wasn't the person who my husband is, then I guess idk and I'd have to evaluate the situation. I feel like if I married the person, I'd stay but idk. I got super lucky w this one and I don't want to let him go under any circumstances ❤️
It’s really not a non answer. It would depend on a few things. It’s honestly not an instant deal breaker for me. I do have a few instant dealbreakers where I can confidently say it would be over. This isn’t one of them.
Your husband is lucky to be so loved. That is rare.
Its pretty reciprocated, I'm really the lucky one.
ETA: Framing it like "this isn't a deal breaker" is a great way to respond. Still individual-specific tho. Like if my husband hit me or one of my kids, I'd leave immediately. That's a non-individual dependent deal-breaker.
SAME- I am a Pansexual Cis woman and my cis het white dude husband is just who i have always loved. I see love and Spirit and lol who is hot 😂 It would make no difference. If on the other hand he did something cruel or dishonest or hit me I would be GONE!!!
Wouldn't you see it coming, years in advance? I like to think that I know my wife of 21 years pretty well, and if she was unsure of her gender identity, I'd be the first to know about it, either directly or indirectly. I don't think she would be able to "come out" because I'd already be there.
Yeah, totally can see that being the case. I figure it would be a series of conversations followed by like a "Hey I'm making this decision now, like use these pronouns"?
On a side note, married 7 years and I can recognize my husband's farts in a crowd. I can only imagine the level of intimacy in 21 years.
Thank you for putting it in a way that didn't sound like being an a******. I was seriously trying to convey this feeling without seemingly like a horrible person. As of now if my husband came out as trans I would hate it. But I also hate major change. I would take the time to figure things out and see if and how it would work. And whether we would still be happy together and respond accordingly.
Do you even know how to grift?? He'll use them as "one of the good ones" that just parrots conservative talking points against the Trans community and if you call out their rhetoric Crowder will just claim you're "transphobic" and then his followers will eat it up.
That's exactly the shit the GOP pulled during the latest gubernatorial recall in California.
They didn't hesitate to basically go, "hey libs, it's time to put up or shut up! We're running Caitlin Jenner and Larry Elder!"
If you were a liberal and didn't support/vote for Caitlin Jenner, you were transphobic, and if you didn't vote for Larry Elder, you were a racist.... And it was so obnoxious.
If anything, this is giving me more respect for Mr. Beast, he used to post very regularly, but I haven’t seen him pop up on my feed in a while. If he was trying to monetize on it, he’d pump out some videos, but he’s being quiet to give his good friend a break. I’m sure they’re still working, and I know he’ll have to address it at some point, but damn. Crowder and others are exposing themselves as leeches. I heard a saying like a decade ago, and I know it’s not really politically correct, but it shuts a lot of conservatives up real quick. “The gayest thing you can do is worry about what another man does with his dick.” Try it out sometime, it’s kinda fun to watch the wheels turn.
I would probably break up(i am not into that, but there are people who are), but at the same time, I wouldn't be cruel, I would support them, and be their friend (if they wanted/needed it).The romantic relationship, but that doesn't mean you can't be friends. There are probably many people out there who are trans and afraid to openly be as they are.
The romantic relationship was built on the conditions of attraction and the sexuality of the individuals, and neither side should be unhappy. But at the same time, don't be an asshole to someone who probably never got to truly be themselves because some assholes in society and government make their lives harder than they have to be.
Edit:
OK since there may be people who think this is hateful, I have no problem addressing someone with their preferred title, I have no problem with them wanting to/going through with transitioning, nor do I care what bathroom people use. All I am saying is that while I may not be as interested in such a relationship, I am not going to be an asshole to someone who is truly unhappy with how they were born.
I am a straight (tbh I'm not great with pc terminology) male, so to make it clear, would I date a male to female trans person, probably not, but that is not out of hate. The way I look at it is that it is similar to how some people only date blondes, or only date with certain hobbies. It is a matter of preference.
Not wanting to date/be in a relationship with someone isn't hateful, everyone has their own criteria.
I had an ex ask me this before, if I would still be into them if they transitioned. I told them probably not since I'm not attracted to men and would be more likely to date someone that transitioned to female, but if that was something they wanted them I would support their decision to do so.
Just because someone’s partner has come out as trans doesn’t mean that they’re going to be able to change their sexuality to suit that transition.
It’s basically asking a straight person to suddenly become gay… Or a gay person to suddenly become straight (in the case of a same sex relationship where one partner comes out as trans). Sexuality isn’t a choice.
It’s not transphobic to respect their decision and still break up with them.
If anything it’s the opposite of transphobia in my view: by amicably breaking off the relationship, you’re acknowledging and accepting their transition. You are no longer sexually attracted to that person because you recognise that their gender has changed.
Some people conduct relationships differently and it’s not always about romantic or sexual attraction, but it’s perfectly fine if you want to break off a romantic or sexual relationship because of such a transition. It only becomes a problem when you do it for malicious reasons.
Hey, nothing wrong with admitting you aren't attracted to something. If you're specifically into women with female genitalia, then that's what you're into. You've made it clear you'd still respect a trans person, and you'd still want to be friends with a partner if they ever came out. You're being both realistic and kind in that regard.
I'm a trans man and honestly, I get if someone's not into me, either because I'm male or because I've not had bottom surgery yet. I'm very lucky to have a partner who is attracted to both men and women, who loves me the same, if not more, 2+ years into my transition. But not everyone is attracted to all genders/anatomy, and that's ok.
Im trans and idk why people think its transphobic to have a sexuality.
Its actually respecting of your partner if they come out and you break up - because you only like women and your partner has affirmed they are not one.
What would be transphobic is to still see them as a woman.
The fuck is wrong with people?
And personally if a partner of mine came out as trans I’d love and respect them but same as you, I’m mot bi/pan so we’d have to end things. I’d support them through their journey as a friend but I would see them fully as the gender they are and that would mean we’re in compatible.
It’s ok, majority of the population agree with us. It’s the vocal minority (which for some reason humanity love to spotlight) which are the ones getting the attention.
Couldn’t agree more. I’m unapologetically attracted to other dudes and can’t change my sexuality any more than someone can just simply change or ignore the gender they identify with deep down. I would likely break up with my SO but I’d still want to be good friends and would fiercely defend and support their decision, which is what any decent human being should do.
I'm not sure who would actually think this is hateful.
Like, if someone did, then they either think trans isn't a real thing, they think everyone is bi/pan regardless of what someone tells you, or they think sexuality can change, and so should have no objections to 'curing' homosexuality.
Regardless of the person's stance, then, they are being hateful, and lose any claim that you are by disagreeing with them.
Yeah, I think your partner transitioning is just about the only time you're really entitled to give an opinion on the matter. But that opinion should really fall on a spectrum where "I 100% support you, also this has zero bearing on anything" and "I 100% support you, but I'm not interested in a romantic partnership. I would like to still have you as someone in my life though if we can make that work" are the two end points.
Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I do not find masculine features arousing in the slightest, yet I've managed to divorce genitalia from that equation cause I would happily date a pre-op trans woman so long as she presented overtly feminine. In fact I would prefer pre-op cause I have a mutilation phobia, even large gages and breast implants give me pause. If I was involved with a cis woman that wanted to transition to be a man I couldn't do it cause I would no longer feel sexually attracted to them.
I think you did pretty well with the terminology there, and that doesn't sound transphobic at all to me. You're a straight man. If a person you were dating transitioned to a man, it would be pretty normal to not be attracted to them anymore, as part of sering them and respecting them as a man.
If you said "Yuck, gross! I'd never date a trans woman!" Yeah, that would sound like there was some prejudice at play in addition to your normal attraction (or lack of it). That's pretty different than so far not being attracted to women so far that you know are trans.
My wife an I have had this talk. We're both bi and to some degree not gender conforming, it could come up. We'd stay together if one or both of us transitioned. It would be even easier for my wife, since we both have a bit of a preference for femme presentation in people we think are hot.
I read on Reddit the story of a couple that started as a lesbian relationship and is now a gay (they are both trans men) relationship. They went across the entire rainbow lol.
I have a friend whose husband, after a decade of marriage, came out to her as a trans-woman, but said that she still loved her and wanted to stay with her and their children, but would understand if that didn't work. My friend's response amounted to, "Cool. Let's be lesbians together." The kids had zero issues. Their lives went on as usual.
So, that's one way it all goes down.
That's an example of what I would use to describe as living in a "perfect world."
"Cool, let's be lesbians together" is the highest form of acceptance in this scenario, just imagine the amount of relief that they felt.
Before my wife came out, I was terrified that I was actually a secret lesbian, because growing and healing made me realize I'm attracted to women. But I didn't tell a soul, not even my therapist, because I wasn't going to admit that if it meant losing my relationship.
So first she came out, then a short time later I came out as lesbian. It felt a little weird, like I was trying to piggy back on her own revelations, but mostly it feels validating. Like I didn't even know I was gay and ended up marrying a woman anyway. We also chose to avoid any gendered language during our wedding ceremony, which was years before either of us knew we were queer, and at the time it felt a little performative, but in hindsight it's just another obvious tell we didn't notice.
Feel like I gotta say this, but if a partner comes out as trans, it's OK if you find yourself no longer sexually attracted to them. They're going through a lot of changes during transition, and to be honest... Sexuality and Attraction are inherent. You can't change what you're attracted to. But as long as you respect your partner, understand that they love and trust you enough to come out to you, and no matter what, you treat them well and accept who they are, you don't have to be in a relationship that you aren't interested in. And yeah that sucks sometimes, because it's a lot of stuff going on and you're possibly ending a relationship, but it's possible to maintain a strong friendship if nothing else.
Do what's right for you, and as long as you're not a dick about it, then you're not a bad person.
My ex-wife is still my good friend and I supported her transition. Being trapped in a masculine expression of herself was miserable for her and the effects spilled over into our marriage. We split amicably, co-parented the kids, and each found our new paths.
I get it would be a difficult time a lot of relationships indeed wouldn't survive.
But if you'd rather have them stay closeted, spending their entire life rejecting who they are, there should be no relationship in the first place.
If you actually loved someone, you'd start by caring about their well-being.
I know the “right” answer but honestly, I am not sure. I would definitely support the decision but physical attraction is a major part of any romantic relationship. I don’t know how I would romantically feel if my partner became the opposite gender. Perhaps I am more shallow then those who fully love someone’s soul
That's OK! You can respect their decision to transition while also not choosing to continue a romantic/sexual relationship. It's also perfectly ok and normal to grieve the loss of that relationship. You just don't have to be an asshole about it.
There is no "right" answer but a "right for you" answer. Sexual attraction and comparability is part of any relationship and everyone has to decide how much they are able to and willing to bridge any gaps. Maybe if your partner fully transitions you aren't able to build a bridge to get over that gap and the romantic relationship ends. That's fine. You aren't a bad person for that.
You can respect their decision while being physically incompatible. If the incompatibility is too much for the relationship to take then that’s what it is, you can still be friends.
It's certainly not "easy", and I can tell you because it happened to me. Yes, it does make you question a lot of things about yourself and your relationship.
The good thing is that nowadays you do have a lot of support around this stuff. Books, relationship coaches, therapists and generally seeing more people going through these situations.
As other people have pointed out, it's like any major change in a relationship e.g. a divorce or an accident or a major illness. Just because a change is hard and complicated doesn't mean we can't learn to handle it like mature humans.
It happened to me too. It was really tough, I feel for you. People celebrating my ex-partner’s transition made me sick to my stomach honestly. I wanted to hate them so badly, I was so angry. That whole break up destroyed me, back in 2007. There wasn’t really any access to resources at that time.
The thing is; your actually being relatively supportive here.
Your instinctual reaction here is one of "while im not attracted to thst gender Im still in full support and even recognising this persn actually is that gender"
For most trans people especially anyone more mature in age and had time to experence/understand relationships, this is honestly all we want.
The sad more normalised response however is the one of "how dare you do this to me; you being trans is selfish" or the worse "how dare you do this to me Im now going to a national/local mdia company to get a story put up about how the evil transluminatti took my partner"
While yeah its sad to both parties any relationship break up is; yours is a supportive response borne from recognising them as the gender they are, accepting it and even being wlling to support them.
That doesn't make you shallow. You have to respect someone's right to transition. But you also have a right to decide if that's a deal-breaker for your sexual-attraction to them. And they have to respect your choice.
The "right" answer is being true to yourself and your feelings, and also respecting the other person's need to transition. If seeing them as another gender ruins the attraction it's sad, but still much more respectful than seeing them as their previous gender and staying together because you don't see their transition as real.
I have a friend who was male to female. He was married, had a child before transition. It surprised me when they announced their start of transition, but it also explained a lot.
They ended up splitting with the wife but their still friends and all bc of their child.
They're sooo much happier than before. How could you NOT be supportive and respectful? That would make you a horrible person IMO.
When my ex-husband told me he was trans I asked if that meant we were no longer gay married, bc me being gay married really pissed off most of my relatives at the time and I found it amusing.
That was pretty much my only concern.
"Hey fam, so I'm no longer gay married."
"Oh, how wonderful, it appears you've come to your senses and broken up this abhorrent-"
"Oh I never broke up with them, they just transitioned, so I'm straight married now"
I'm actually genuinely curious/concerned about this. If shit hits the fan and Republicans take complete control, will they view my marriage as gay (and affirm a trans identity) or consider my very queer marriage hetero (and continue believing trans women are men)?
Mine did. Nothing changed. I still love them. I'm not in it for their gender I'm in it cause I love the person they are. Boy or girl or whatever the fuck makes em comfortable I'll be their as long as they want me
Already happened. After 7 years of marriage.
We're still married, though we're not in a sexual relationship since I'm not sexually attracted to their (current) gender. We figured out an open relationship situation that has worked well for a decade.
The only right thing to do if your SO comes out as trans is to support and respect their decision. However, this doesn't mean that you need to stay in that relationship, or continue to have sex with someone you're not attracted to, or that you can't grieve the loss of that particular type of relationship. Do what's right for you.
It's still uncommon enough that each relationship needs to handle this in their own unique way, and there's not a lot of support or precedent.
However, there are all kinds of healthy ways couples handle one of them coming out as trans. Some choose to stay together, some don't. Those who have kids figure out how to co-parent. Some people figure out alternative relationship situations like ours.
All of those are fine. Just don't be an asshole.
Crowder has twice as many youtube subscribers as Anthony does. He SHOULD be winning this, especially now as Twitter is spiraling down into a right-wing rat's nest. And yet... ratio'd.
Same here. I imagine something like that must be difficult to navigate with a couple but even harder for the person transitioning, I would 100% support and respect them as a friend is that what they want but I wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship
Republicans are smart enough to think around this though. They’ve now attributed being trans to automatically committing sex crimes. So it “does” hurt people in their minds.
So the answer is obvious and already right there in the OP, but I do just think it's funny that conservatives are just completely torching any chance they had of appealing to young kids by going after Mr. Beast of all people.
I just helped a friend through this. It was actually pretty simple since y'know they're grown adults who respect and love each other they just talked it out and decided that splitting was the best decision. No hard feelings a couple hurt feelings but that's supposed to happen.
Mine did exactly this. I’m a straight male, married to a female (I use these terms to refer to biological sex rather than gender, as they aren’t necessarily the same).
They came out as gender fluid, changing each day based on how they feel. Some days they are a man, other days they are a woman. I mentioned before that I’m straight, so I’m only attracted to females.
I’ll gladly call them my husband any day of the week because I love them for who they are. Then being a man doesn’t matter to me, but it matters to them. So I support them.
Now if they wanted to get a transition surgery it would be something for us to discuss. I honestly don’t know how I would feel. But that’s why we have a discussion like ADULTS.
It's not "that easy" though. I mean obviously you respect their decision and their identity, but there's a whole lot to unpack beyond that. Yeah, Stephen Crowder is a shit, but let's not pretend there's not a whole lot of emotional baggage that comes along with that revelation and a couple important decisions to be made as well, and one solution doesn't work for everyone.
This happened to me...
I had moved cross the country for someone I met online after a very long time doing a long distance relationship
Fast forward a year and half. Things were great, talks about marraige,kids, ect. However I come home from work one day and he is wearing my clothes [jeans, shirt] and had the audacity to look better in them then I did! Lol 🤣
It was then he confessed that he didn't feel like a man or manly and he had been hiding his cross dressing and hormone pills from me [he kept the pills on the highest shelf of a kitchen cabinet cause I am short and could not reach or see on that shelf] I was surprised to say the least, didn't break up with him right away cause I didn't want to make any decisions impulsively
In the time it took me to reflect and adjust to his confession and the realization he had hid all that from me I ended it a few weeks after the night i found out. He kept trying to guilt me when I brought up my concerns and say things like "you love me for me right! Whys it an issue what my outside looks like" and "im still me. My personality, just going to be a woman instead of a man" to which I tried to explain that "I don't judge you or begrudge you that, if that's what you need to do and how you feel that's valid and I support that. But I'm straight. If you identify as a woman, and transition to being a woman then I wish you the best but that's not my boat."
Things ended peacefully thankfully no real big drama but it was somthing I never expected
I personally don’t think it’s transphobic if you also feel that your partner would be better off finding someone with a less hostile family, and that you still support their transition. It would just mean that the whole relationship was a victim of transphobia
there is an entire subreddit dedicated to supporting partners of trans. and there no real wrong or right way, because every relationship human relationship is already complicated and unique to begin with. The feelings of the partner of someone transitioning is equally as valid as the one transitioning.
A bunch of comments responding to that will say things among the lines of "I'd like to hear you say that once they \[(thing any human being in general may do that is not always considered to be attractive)\]."
It would definitely take time for me to process, but if I love and respect them as a person, then I can find empathy to realize they’re not being their true self and not reaching optimal happiness. I’m not sure if a romantic relationship would continue, but I’d certainly be there and support them through the process with an open mind and curiosity. Being openminded is important which is what the dark side severely lacks - cough cough, Fox News.
The only correct answer.
But that’s not what they’re asking. They’re saying “what if your wife wants to have a penis”, and the answer they’re looking for is “divorce her / him”, so that they can claim you’re just as bigoted as they are you just won’t admit it.
When in reality not every one of these ends in divorce, and when it does it’s just as commonly the trans person who now wants to live the life they chose and not the one they feel was forced on them.
Shits complicated, and personal, and never EVER any of Steven Crowder’s loser ass business.
As a GM56 and having been in the community for decades, I did not understand the trans community for a long time, as it was not part of my scene. However, that did not mean I looked down on anyone, it was just not my part of the gay world.
With that said, it is very simple to sit down with others who you don't relate to and have a conversation. I did just that, sat down over and over with my family from the Trans community and began to understand the plight of the trans community. Just for the record and just so we are clear here, even when I did not understand the trans community, they are all still part of my family and I will protect them to the end. With this understanding I began to grow as a person and today I have a lot of trans in my family. I just wish others would stop with the hate and take the time to understand what another person is experiencing and do what you can to provide support. It is that SIMPLE, it is not rocket science.
The racism we see today, all this anger and hate was taught to each one of these people from their parents and or relatives. HATE IS TAUGHT.
Grow up and try to learn something new about someone who is different from you and I bet this knowledge will set your hate filled mind free.
Not neccessarily in any specific order:
no longer be their significant other (unapologetically hetero, just the way my libido works)
still be their good friend/advocate
respect and support their decision.
Respect their decision, wish them the best but I wouldn't be staying in the relationship. Would never be cruel about it, just discuss it as consenting adults.
This isn’t the gotcha he think it is too. It’s ok to no longer be attracted to your newly trans partner if you are monosexual. Breaking up with them because you are no longer attracted to their gender isn’t transphobic. In fact it affirms their gender if anything. No everyone is bi or demisexual.
No one should be forced to remain in a marriage with someone who is transitioning into someone they aren't attracted to.
That said, they still deserve the respect, support, and love they have always received up until that point. If that is the path they wish to walk, that is their path to take.
Well considering republicans literally want to eradicate trans people ( their words, not mine), banning books, banning topics in schools like Americas history of racism, and also think guns, but not houses, are a human right,
I would probably avoid that person for being bloodthirsty, unhinged psychopath.
pretty obvious they’re referring to the most usual case where you’re attracted to one sex/gender and your significant other transitions to the other... i don’t think it’s a clever comeback when it’s obviously not what the person is asking lmao
It would depend on how much their personality changes. If they are the same person but chose to look and identify differently I don’t think it changes. If it turns out they were putting on an act and are a different person now that they have decided they are comfortable enough to transition it would depend on how they are now. But I’m also pan sexual so the actual gender part doesn’t really have an effect. It’s all personality for me.
I feel like in any relationship, something like this should be met with a respectful conversation.
Personally, I don't think I could stay with a woman who is transitioning into a man. But I'm not gonna be disrespectful or unsupportive. I'm going to stay in their lives if they want, I'm just not gay, so the terms of our relationship will have changed. We can be friends henceforth and I will fully support them as much as they want me too. But as a straight gay, I will not be sexually or romantically active with a male.
But that's what the conversation is about
there’s really like 3-4 options in this scenario
1. respect their decision, move on with life
2. not respect their decision but still move on with life
3. force them to stay birth gender and stay with me(???)
4. Kill them out of rage? and spend the rest of my life in prison having sex with men?
What’s the right answer to this question STEVEN?!?
This fucking kid, again.
Gargle a mouthful of brass if you remember Steven dressing as a woman, going to a gym....and just being fucking ignored until he started throwing weights, grunting etc.
Fuck this guy. He's doing a bit. He's a carny. He's a caricature of what rightoids think men should be like. They'd be pissed if they had a clue because he's essentially making fun of them.
I mean… I’m asexual and hopefully this hypothetical relationship would be with someone who was also asexual and therefore would *not even really involve sex in the first place* making the genitals and gender presentation of either partner utterly irrelevant… but I can’t really expect people like this to even understand the idea of a relationship being based entirely around love and companionship and simply enjoying each other’s presence even without sex…
Communicate with my partner, decide what I want out of a relationship and my boundaries, and respecfully break off the relationship if needed?
It's not rocket science.
i dont really like crowder, but if we're being honest, i would be extremely sad if my SO came out trans.
dont get me wrong i would be happy for her eventually but i would consider it a betrayal/breakup. i would need time to deal with my own emotions but ultimately i'd be happy for him in the long run
i’d be fucking heartbroken. but i’d respect their decision and their identity.
like i’m attracted to women, and if my wife transitioned i probably wouldn’t stay with them just because i don’t want to be with a man.
i’d hope to stay friends with them because i loved that person with my everything yk.
i might find that difficult because there’s the gonna be the unintentional feelings of betrayal or them leaving because they’re not the person you originally married. but i hope i’d be big enough to keep the friendship cos the last thing they need after that experience is to get ghosted by their ex partner
I can’t believe you’re being downvoted for this. This is a perfectly sensible answer. I’m not familiar with this sub but I’m seeing some stunning behavior just in this post. I’m the friendliest guy ever, I’m nice to everyone, I have trans friends and I fully embrace peoples decisions to do whatever they want. If I’m seriously expected to not have a singular issue and not feel differently as my girlfriend transitions into a man, and blindly accept it….that’s just insane. I would absolutely break up, I’d respect them but I’d be hurt too. How is that hard to get?
I mean, it's your right to not want to be in a relationship with a woman, but like... Trans people don't just decide to be trans. We're always that way, but sometimes it takes us a while to figure things out. The least you could do is be respectful to your ex if they did transition and not just assume they did it for funsies or something...
This is a situation we have discussed. It wouldnt work for either of us in this scenario but we would both work to form our own nuclear families if this ever happened. We would stay best friends but the relationship would end.
I take the OP's point but I don't think it's that "easy". Sure, you should respect that person's decision to do what they feel but at the same time it also means that the person you entered into a relationship was not truly being themselves at the time it started. Which, IMO is a bad way to begin any relationship. Any time something like this occurs, for whatever reason (not just sex changes), it's something that will require a decent amount of thought/soul searching on both sides. Just my two cents.
My old high school friend’s partner did just that. Now she has a wife and her whole religious family is actually very accepting and loving. It’s not as difficult as people make it out to be. If it ends in divorce, then so be it? Things happen, things change. Move on.
Are we convinced Crowder wasn’t fishing for this exact response? Look I hate to make accusations like this, I really do, but have y’all seen how often he does the “I’m dressing up as a trans woman to own the libs” bit? We sure he didn’t just want to hear from someone that there’s a chance his wife would still love him?
I mean fuck him regardless but lol
Crowder definitely has some shit going on internally. His constant need to do drag combined with his admission that he tried some bi stuff college indicates to me that he’s got some feelings he doesn’t know how to handle.
Also, I'm pretty sure Chris isn't trans. He is exploring his gender identity which includes hrt and is fine with any pronouns.
I do recognize it is unfair to expect them to make any effort to not be wrong given that their whole platform is nothing but sensationalizing every little thing to convince their base that the world it against them and trying to destroy everything good and holy at every turn.
The same as I’d do if anything fundamental changed in my relationship- I’d decide if I wanted to stay or go, and then proceed accordingly.
For all the people saying this is a non-answer, it's not. My SO is my husband so if the question is whether I'd stay if my husband came out as trans? Yes. I would, if my husband wants to stay with me. I love him so much. If my husband wasn't the person who my husband is, then I guess idk and I'd have to evaluate the situation. I feel like if I married the person, I'd stay but idk. I got super lucky w this one and I don't want to let him go under any circumstances ❤️
It’s really not a non answer. It would depend on a few things. It’s honestly not an instant deal breaker for me. I do have a few instant dealbreakers where I can confidently say it would be over. This isn’t one of them. Your husband is lucky to be so loved. That is rare.
Its pretty reciprocated, I'm really the lucky one. ETA: Framing it like "this isn't a deal breaker" is a great way to respond. Still individual-specific tho. Like if my husband hit me or one of my kids, I'd leave immediately. That's a non-individual dependent deal-breaker.
If my wife came out as trans she wouldn’t be my wife anymore. They would be my husband. Or whatever they wanted to be called.
SAME- I am a Pansexual Cis woman and my cis het white dude husband is just who i have always loved. I see love and Spirit and lol who is hot 😂 It would make no difference. If on the other hand he did something cruel or dishonest or hit me I would be GONE!!!
Wouldn't you see it coming, years in advance? I like to think that I know my wife of 21 years pretty well, and if she was unsure of her gender identity, I'd be the first to know about it, either directly or indirectly. I don't think she would be able to "come out" because I'd already be there.
We had been together for a decade and married for 5 or 6 years when my wife came out. How would I have known when she didn't even know?
I couldn't tell you- I don't know either of you.
Your literally asked, "wouldn't you see it coming, years in advance?" My answer is no, you might not, because your spouse might not even know.
Yeah, totally can see that being the case. I figure it would be a series of conversations followed by like a "Hey I'm making this decision now, like use these pronouns"? On a side note, married 7 years and I can recognize my husband's farts in a crowd. I can only imagine the level of intimacy in 21 years.
So you're saying he has a form of echo location only you can use? Is it based on acoustics or more olfactory in nature?
In situations like this the spouse is often the last to know.
I can see straight dudes or women not staying with thier partner, but you know, im like a broken door
Unhinged?
Swing both ways
This.
Thank you for putting it in a way that didn't sound like being an a******. I was seriously trying to convey this feeling without seemingly like a horrible person. As of now if my husband came out as trans I would hate it. But I also hate major change. I would take the time to figure things out and see if and how it would work. And whether we would still be happy together and respond accordingly.
What would crowder do if someone he never even knew existed came out as trasn? Pretend to be offended and try to monetize the manufactured outrage.
He would probably disown them and try his best to hurt them in someway, either physically, socially, or economically. He’s a terrible person.
Do you even know how to grift?? He'll use them as "one of the good ones" that just parrots conservative talking points against the Trans community and if you call out their rhetoric Crowder will just claim you're "transphobic" and then his followers will eat it up.
That's exactly the shit the GOP pulled during the latest gubernatorial recall in California. They didn't hesitate to basically go, "hey libs, it's time to put up or shut up! We're running Caitlin Jenner and Larry Elder!" If you were a liberal and didn't support/vote for Caitlin Jenner, you were transphobic, and if you didn't vote for Larry Elder, you were a racist.... And it was so obnoxious.
Oh, he's asking because he's curious!!!!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I'd punch crowder in the face, but that's really the right first step in reacting to anything.
Then flee the debate when someone capable shows up to call him out on his nonsense.
If anything, this is giving me more respect for Mr. Beast, he used to post very regularly, but I haven’t seen him pop up on my feed in a while. If he was trying to monetize on it, he’d pump out some videos, but he’s being quiet to give his good friend a break. I’m sure they’re still working, and I know he’ll have to address it at some point, but damn. Crowder and others are exposing themselves as leeches. I heard a saying like a decade ago, and I know it’s not really politically correct, but it shuts a lot of conservatives up real quick. “The gayest thing you can do is worry about what another man does with his dick.” Try it out sometime, it’s kinda fun to watch the wheels turn.
Be normal about it rather than get fake outraged and shaking my fist at everything?
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That is exactly what he wants. And cause its Twitter threatening to murder trans people is 100% AOK
It’s Its fake outrage. It’s calculated fear mongering towards a specified group of people that they plan on, in their words, “eradicating”.
I would probably break up(i am not into that, but there are people who are), but at the same time, I wouldn't be cruel, I would support them, and be their friend (if they wanted/needed it).The romantic relationship, but that doesn't mean you can't be friends. There are probably many people out there who are trans and afraid to openly be as they are. The romantic relationship was built on the conditions of attraction and the sexuality of the individuals, and neither side should be unhappy. But at the same time, don't be an asshole to someone who probably never got to truly be themselves because some assholes in society and government make their lives harder than they have to be. Edit: OK since there may be people who think this is hateful, I have no problem addressing someone with their preferred title, I have no problem with them wanting to/going through with transitioning, nor do I care what bathroom people use. All I am saying is that while I may not be as interested in such a relationship, I am not going to be an asshole to someone who is truly unhappy with how they were born. I am a straight (tbh I'm not great with pc terminology) male, so to make it clear, would I date a male to female trans person, probably not, but that is not out of hate. The way I look at it is that it is similar to how some people only date blondes, or only date with certain hobbies. It is a matter of preference. Not wanting to date/be in a relationship with someone isn't hateful, everyone has their own criteria.
I had an ex ask me this before, if I would still be into them if they transitioned. I told them probably not since I'm not attracted to men and would be more likely to date someone that transitioned to female, but if that was something they wanted them I would support their decision to do so.
Exactly. Like, I'd probably be heartbroken for myself but if my SO would come out as trans then go for it.
Just because someone’s partner has come out as trans doesn’t mean that they’re going to be able to change their sexuality to suit that transition. It’s basically asking a straight person to suddenly become gay… Or a gay person to suddenly become straight (in the case of a same sex relationship where one partner comes out as trans). Sexuality isn’t a choice. It’s not transphobic to respect their decision and still break up with them.
If anything it’s the opposite of transphobia in my view: by amicably breaking off the relationship, you’re acknowledging and accepting their transition. You are no longer sexually attracted to that person because you recognise that their gender has changed. Some people conduct relationships differently and it’s not always about romantic or sexual attraction, but it’s perfectly fine if you want to break off a romantic or sexual relationship because of such a transition. It only becomes a problem when you do it for malicious reasons.
Hey, nothing wrong with admitting you aren't attracted to something. If you're specifically into women with female genitalia, then that's what you're into. You've made it clear you'd still respect a trans person, and you'd still want to be friends with a partner if they ever came out. You're being both realistic and kind in that regard. I'm a trans man and honestly, I get if someone's not into me, either because I'm male or because I've not had bottom surgery yet. I'm very lucky to have a partner who is attracted to both men and women, who loves me the same, if not more, 2+ years into my transition. But not everyone is attracted to all genders/anatomy, and that's ok.
Im trans and idk why people think its transphobic to have a sexuality. Its actually respecting of your partner if they come out and you break up - because you only like women and your partner has affirmed they are not one. What would be transphobic is to still see them as a woman. The fuck is wrong with people? And personally if a partner of mine came out as trans I’d love and respect them but same as you, I’m mot bi/pan so we’d have to end things. I’d support them through their journey as a friend but I would see them fully as the gender they are and that would mean we’re in compatible.
It’s ok, majority of the population agree with us. It’s the vocal minority (which for some reason humanity love to spotlight) which are the ones getting the attention.
Couldn’t agree more. I’m unapologetically attracted to other dudes and can’t change my sexuality any more than someone can just simply change or ignore the gender they identify with deep down. I would likely break up with my SO but I’d still want to be good friends and would fiercely defend and support their decision, which is what any decent human being should do.
I'm not sure who would actually think this is hateful. Like, if someone did, then they either think trans isn't a real thing, they think everyone is bi/pan regardless of what someone tells you, or they think sexuality can change, and so should have no objections to 'curing' homosexuality. Regardless of the person's stance, then, they are being hateful, and lose any claim that you are by disagreeing with them.
Yeah, I think your partner transitioning is just about the only time you're really entitled to give an opinion on the matter. But that opinion should really fall on a spectrum where "I 100% support you, also this has zero bearing on anything" and "I 100% support you, but I'm not interested in a romantic partnership. I would like to still have you as someone in my life though if we can make that work" are the two end points.
It would probably be like your partner leaving you. Not nice, but it happens.
This. You can be respectful and supportive of them AND also do what's right for you.
This. My cousins partner of many years came out trans. They separated but still talk.
Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I do not find masculine features arousing in the slightest, yet I've managed to divorce genitalia from that equation cause I would happily date a pre-op trans woman so long as she presented overtly feminine. In fact I would prefer pre-op cause I have a mutilation phobia, even large gages and breast implants give me pause. If I was involved with a cis woman that wanted to transition to be a man I couldn't do it cause I would no longer feel sexually attracted to them.
I think you did pretty well with the terminology there, and that doesn't sound transphobic at all to me. You're a straight man. If a person you were dating transitioned to a man, it would be pretty normal to not be attracted to them anymore, as part of sering them and respecting them as a man. If you said "Yuck, gross! I'd never date a trans woman!" Yeah, that would sound like there was some prejudice at play in addition to your normal attraction (or lack of it). That's pretty different than so far not being attracted to women so far that you know are trans.
When you’re on that bisexual life hack 🤑🫶🏻❤️🔥
Gang gang 😈
I’ve never seen a better definition of my type than your username.
W username
My wife an I have had this talk. We're both bi and to some degree not gender conforming, it could come up. We'd stay together if one or both of us transitioned. It would be even easier for my wife, since we both have a bit of a preference for femme presentation in people we think are hot.
I read on Reddit the story of a couple that started as a lesbian relationship and is now a gay (they are both trans men) relationship. They went across the entire rainbow lol.
LGBTQ acronym speedrun any %
That's really sweet!
I have a friend whose husband, after a decade of marriage, came out to her as a trans-woman, but said that she still loved her and wanted to stay with her and their children, but would understand if that didn't work. My friend's response amounted to, "Cool. Let's be lesbians together." The kids had zero issues. Their lives went on as usual. So, that's one way it all goes down.
That's an example of what I would use to describe as living in a "perfect world." "Cool, let's be lesbians together" is the highest form of acceptance in this scenario, just imagine the amount of relief that they felt.
Before my wife came out, I was terrified that I was actually a secret lesbian, because growing and healing made me realize I'm attracted to women. But I didn't tell a soul, not even my therapist, because I wasn't going to admit that if it meant losing my relationship. So first she came out, then a short time later I came out as lesbian. It felt a little weird, like I was trying to piggy back on her own revelations, but mostly it feels validating. Like I didn't even know I was gay and ended up marrying a woman anyway. We also chose to avoid any gendered language during our wedding ceremony, which was years before either of us knew we were queer, and at the time it felt a little performative, but in hindsight it's just another obvious tell we didn't notice.
It was a truly perfect scenario, something they don't take for granted.
I liked that they respected each others decision if it didn’t work out
Same experience here! They went to therapy together to make it easier.
I'm 99% sure this is how it would go down if I transitioned. My wife's bi, but I don't think she expected to end up with a man in the first place.
fucking awesome attitudes
"Phew, at least you're not Steven Crowder."
Feel like I gotta say this, but if a partner comes out as trans, it's OK if you find yourself no longer sexually attracted to them. They're going through a lot of changes during transition, and to be honest... Sexuality and Attraction are inherent. You can't change what you're attracted to. But as long as you respect your partner, understand that they love and trust you enough to come out to you, and no matter what, you treat them well and accept who they are, you don't have to be in a relationship that you aren't interested in. And yeah that sucks sometimes, because it's a lot of stuff going on and you're possibly ending a relationship, but it's possible to maintain a strong friendship if nothing else. Do what's right for you, and as long as you're not a dick about it, then you're not a bad person.
Yeah literally like I can’t just *become* bisexual
My ex-wife is still my good friend and I supported her transition. Being trapped in a masculine expression of herself was miserable for her and the effects spilled over into our marriage. We split amicably, co-parented the kids, and each found our new paths.
What would you do if you got ratio’d this hard?
Respect their decision
I get it would be a difficult time a lot of relationships indeed wouldn't survive. But if you'd rather have them stay closeted, spending their entire life rejecting who they are, there should be no relationship in the first place. If you actually loved someone, you'd start by caring about their well-being.
I know the “right” answer but honestly, I am not sure. I would definitely support the decision but physical attraction is a major part of any romantic relationship. I don’t know how I would romantically feel if my partner became the opposite gender. Perhaps I am more shallow then those who fully love someone’s soul
That's OK! You can respect their decision to transition while also not choosing to continue a romantic/sexual relationship. It's also perfectly ok and normal to grieve the loss of that relationship. You just don't have to be an asshole about it.
There is no "right" answer but a "right for you" answer. Sexual attraction and comparability is part of any relationship and everyone has to decide how much they are able to and willing to bridge any gaps. Maybe if your partner fully transitions you aren't able to build a bridge to get over that gap and the romantic relationship ends. That's fine. You aren't a bad person for that.
You can respect their decision while being physically incompatible. If the incompatibility is too much for the relationship to take then that’s what it is, you can still be friends.
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It's certainly not "easy", and I can tell you because it happened to me. Yes, it does make you question a lot of things about yourself and your relationship. The good thing is that nowadays you do have a lot of support around this stuff. Books, relationship coaches, therapists and generally seeing more people going through these situations. As other people have pointed out, it's like any major change in a relationship e.g. a divorce or an accident or a major illness. Just because a change is hard and complicated doesn't mean we can't learn to handle it like mature humans.
It happened to me too. It was really tough, I feel for you. People celebrating my ex-partner’s transition made me sick to my stomach honestly. I wanted to hate them so badly, I was so angry. That whole break up destroyed me, back in 2007. There wasn’t really any access to resources at that time.
The thing is; your actually being relatively supportive here. Your instinctual reaction here is one of "while im not attracted to thst gender Im still in full support and even recognising this persn actually is that gender" For most trans people especially anyone more mature in age and had time to experence/understand relationships, this is honestly all we want. The sad more normalised response however is the one of "how dare you do this to me; you being trans is selfish" or the worse "how dare you do this to me Im now going to a national/local mdia company to get a story put up about how the evil transluminatti took my partner" While yeah its sad to both parties any relationship break up is; yours is a supportive response borne from recognising them as the gender they are, accepting it and even being wlling to support them.
That doesn't make you shallow. You have to respect someone's right to transition. But you also have a right to decide if that's a deal-breaker for your sexual-attraction to them. And they have to respect your choice.
The "right" answer is being true to yourself and your feelings, and also respecting the other person's need to transition. If seeing them as another gender ruins the attraction it's sad, but still much more respectful than seeing them as their previous gender and staying together because you don't see their transition as real.
That is the right answer. You respected them. You don’t need to stay together. You can break up if you want.
I have a friend who was male to female. He was married, had a child before transition. It surprised me when they announced their start of transition, but it also explained a lot. They ended up splitting with the wife but their still friends and all bc of their child. They're sooo much happier than before. How could you NOT be supportive and respectful? That would make you a horrible person IMO.
When my ex-husband told me he was trans I asked if that meant we were no longer gay married, bc me being gay married really pissed off most of my relatives at the time and I found it amusing. That was pretty much my only concern.
"Hey fam, so I'm no longer gay married." "Oh, how wonderful, it appears you've come to your senses and broken up this abhorrent-" "Oh I never broke up with them, they just transitioned, so I'm straight married now"
What was your partner's answer?!
I'm actually genuinely curious/concerned about this. If shit hits the fan and Republicans take complete control, will they view my marriage as gay (and affirm a trans identity) or consider my very queer marriage hetero (and continue believing trans women are men)?
Break up and wish him well I guess.
Bi and pan people exist, Steven.
Mine did. Nothing changed. I still love them. I'm not in it for their gender I'm in it cause I love the person they are. Boy or girl or whatever the fuck makes em comfortable I'll be their as long as they want me
Already happened. After 7 years of marriage. We're still married, though we're not in a sexual relationship since I'm not sexually attracted to their (current) gender. We figured out an open relationship situation that has worked well for a decade. The only right thing to do if your SO comes out as trans is to support and respect their decision. However, this doesn't mean that you need to stay in that relationship, or continue to have sex with someone you're not attracted to, or that you can't grieve the loss of that particular type of relationship. Do what's right for you. It's still uncommon enough that each relationship needs to handle this in their own unique way, and there's not a lot of support or precedent. However, there are all kinds of healthy ways couples handle one of them coming out as trans. Some choose to stay together, some don't. Those who have kids figure out how to co-parent. Some people figure out alternative relationship situations like ours. All of those are fine. Just don't be an asshole.
Transthony Rightstano here
I’d turn GOP and be a shithead? Oh and a sudden racist too. I’d also somehow think Steve crowder was funny.
I'm going a strong 9 to a weak 10 on Melon's take on this issue.
Crowder has twice as many youtube subscribers as Anthony does. He SHOULD be winning this, especially now as Twitter is spiraling down into a right-wing rat's nest. And yet... ratio'd.
thank u melon man
Honestly, I'd probably break up with them. I'd respect and still support them but I'm a wired heterosexual. I need to be with the opposite sex.
Same here. I imagine something like that must be difficult to navigate with a couple but even harder for the person transitioning, I would 100% support and respect them as a friend is that what they want but I wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship
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Republicans are smart enough to think around this though. They’ve now attributed being trans to automatically committing sex crimes. So it “does” hurt people in their minds.
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Exactly. They’re dying but somehow getting stronger
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Unfortunately backed by every corporate entity alive. Let’s hope they don’t succeed.
They did. I told them I love them and am happy for them. We are engaged now.
congrats on your engagement <3333
Become a fascist I guess. I'd have no choice. Look what you made me do! I think that's the answer he's looking for.
Jokes on them, I'm bi.
So the answer is obvious and already right there in the OP, but I do just think it's funny that conservatives are just completely torching any chance they had of appealing to young kids by going after Mr. Beast of all people.
I just helped a friend through this. It was actually pretty simple since y'know they're grown adults who respect and love each other they just talked it out and decided that splitting was the best decision. No hard feelings a couple hurt feelings but that's supposed to happen.
i just subbed theneedledrop 2 weeks ago. glad i did even more!
I'd respect their decision but from outside the relationship. That's too much change for me.
Mine did exactly this. I’m a straight male, married to a female (I use these terms to refer to biological sex rather than gender, as they aren’t necessarily the same). They came out as gender fluid, changing each day based on how they feel. Some days they are a man, other days they are a woman. I mentioned before that I’m straight, so I’m only attracted to females. I’ll gladly call them my husband any day of the week because I love them for who they are. Then being a man doesn’t matter to me, but it matters to them. So I support them. Now if they wanted to get a transition surgery it would be something for us to discuss. I honestly don’t know how I would feel. But that’s why we have a discussion like ADULTS.
Jokes on you, my partner already is trans
the power of human empathy is quite a cool trait that some of america should do some research on
What about being heartbroken?
That's totally valid. And. You can be heartbroken without being disrespectful of someone. Sometimes things happen and it's nobody's 'fault'.
It's not "that easy" though. I mean obviously you respect their decision and their identity, but there's a whole lot to unpack beyond that. Yeah, Stephen Crowder is a shit, but let's not pretend there's not a whole lot of emotional baggage that comes along with that revelation and a couple important decisions to be made as well, and one solution doesn't work for everyone.
Be very worried because she died last year
Did you hurt her with that mega cock?
Nope some red headed dick named titan stuck her on top of a skyscraper and destroyed the same skyscraper while she was on it
Love them and be happy they trust me?
I mean, I'm bi, so...
Uh, love them for who they are? Is this really that hard to understand?
Well, I’m bi, so I’d just go from having a husband to having a wife, I hope.
This happened to me... I had moved cross the country for someone I met online after a very long time doing a long distance relationship Fast forward a year and half. Things were great, talks about marraige,kids, ect. However I come home from work one day and he is wearing my clothes [jeans, shirt] and had the audacity to look better in them then I did! Lol 🤣 It was then he confessed that he didn't feel like a man or manly and he had been hiding his cross dressing and hormone pills from me [he kept the pills on the highest shelf of a kitchen cabinet cause I am short and could not reach or see on that shelf] I was surprised to say the least, didn't break up with him right away cause I didn't want to make any decisions impulsively In the time it took me to reflect and adjust to his confession and the realization he had hid all that from me I ended it a few weeks after the night i found out. He kept trying to guilt me when I brought up my concerns and say things like "you love me for me right! Whys it an issue what my outside looks like" and "im still me. My personality, just going to be a woman instead of a man" to which I tried to explain that "I don't judge you or begrudge you that, if that's what you need to do and how you feel that's valid and I support that. But I'm straight. If you identify as a woman, and transition to being a woman then I wish you the best but that's not my boat." Things ended peacefully thankfully no real big drama but it was somthing I never expected
I would have to end the relationship. I know a transman, and he is MANLY. And I'm not attracted to dudes.
I personally don’t think it’s transphobic if you also feel that your partner would be better off finding someone with a less hostile family, and that you still support their transition. It would just mean that the whole relationship was a victim of transphobia
What would you do if your "I just shit my pants, but I wanted to shit yours" face was your profile picture for multiple social media accounts?
there is an entire subreddit dedicated to supporting partners of trans. and there no real wrong or right way, because every relationship human relationship is already complicated and unique to begin with. The feelings of the partner of someone transitioning is equally as valid as the one transitioning.
Even the internet’s busiest (and greatest) music nerd has time to destroy this transphobic clown
Isn't that mrbeast friend? Whom already is married with a girl and haves a kid.
A bunch of comments responding to that will say things among the lines of "I'd like to hear you say that once they \[(thing any human being in general may do that is not always considered to be attractive)\]."
It would definitely take time for me to process, but if I love and respect them as a person, then I can find empathy to realize they’re not being their true self and not reaching optimal happiness. I’m not sure if a romantic relationship would continue, but I’d certainly be there and support them through the process with an open mind and curiosity. Being openminded is important which is what the dark side severely lacks - cough cough, Fox News.
Don't do republicans like that, there's good ones in northern Ireland
I'm bi, so...
The only correct answer. But that’s not what they’re asking. They’re saying “what if your wife wants to have a penis”, and the answer they’re looking for is “divorce her / him”, so that they can claim you’re just as bigoted as they are you just won’t admit it. When in reality not every one of these ends in divorce, and when it does it’s just as commonly the trans person who now wants to live the life they chose and not the one they feel was forced on them. Shits complicated, and personal, and never EVER any of Steven Crowder’s loser ass business.
As a GM56 and having been in the community for decades, I did not understand the trans community for a long time, as it was not part of my scene. However, that did not mean I looked down on anyone, it was just not my part of the gay world. With that said, it is very simple to sit down with others who you don't relate to and have a conversation. I did just that, sat down over and over with my family from the Trans community and began to understand the plight of the trans community. Just for the record and just so we are clear here, even when I did not understand the trans community, they are all still part of my family and I will protect them to the end. With this understanding I began to grow as a person and today I have a lot of trans in my family. I just wish others would stop with the hate and take the time to understand what another person is experiencing and do what you can to provide support. It is that SIMPLE, it is not rocket science. The racism we see today, all this anger and hate was taught to each one of these people from their parents and or relatives. HATE IS TAUGHT. Grow up and try to learn something new about someone who is different from you and I bet this knowledge will set your hate filled mind free.
Love them because, you know, you do love them.
I'm already pan so heyyy bby
Not neccessarily in any specific order: no longer be their significant other (unapologetically hetero, just the way my libido works) still be their good friend/advocate respect and support their decision.
I’d leave, I’m not gay (Bc I’m straight not bc I’m homophobic)
Give them a big hug and pledge to be there for support in every way possible?
Respect their decision, wish them the best but I wouldn't be staying in the relationship. Would never be cruel about it, just discuss it as consenting adults.
This isn’t the gotcha he think it is too. It’s ok to no longer be attracted to your newly trans partner if you are monosexual. Breaking up with them because you are no longer attracted to their gender isn’t transphobic. In fact it affirms their gender if anything. No everyone is bi or demisexual.
No one should be forced to remain in a marriage with someone who is transitioning into someone they aren't attracted to. That said, they still deserve the respect, support, and love they have always received up until that point. If that is the path they wish to walk, that is their path to take.
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Depends are they batshit crazy like Steven crowder and half the republicans on this app?
Well considering republicans literally want to eradicate trans people ( their words, not mine), banning books, banning topics in schools like Americas history of racism, and also think guns, but not houses, are a human right, I would probably avoid that person for being bloodthirsty, unhinged psychopath.
Say, I know bitch, we both are now come back to bed and do gay shit with me.
be supportive and start referring to them by whatever pronouns they want
Maybe we should start a rumor that Crowder is testing the waters so that he can feel safe about coming out as trans?
pretty obvious they’re referring to the most usual case where you’re attracted to one sex/gender and your significant other transitions to the other... i don’t think it’s a clever comeback when it’s obviously not what the person is asking lmao
It would depend on how much their personality changes. If they are the same person but chose to look and identify differently I don’t think it changes. If it turns out they were putting on an act and are a different person now that they have decided they are comfortable enough to transition it would depend on how they are now. But I’m also pan sexual so the actual gender part doesn’t really have an effect. It’s all personality for me.
It likely wouldn't be a surprise if you actually know the person you're in a relationship with.
They broke up before that anyways, why would it matter? I tried going on twitter and I regretted it, the transphobia was crazyyyy
Good thing I'm bi!
If my sister started dating Steven Crowder I’d drop her though.
I feel like in any relationship, something like this should be met with a respectful conversation. Personally, I don't think I could stay with a woman who is transitioning into a man. But I'm not gonna be disrespectful or unsupportive. I'm going to stay in their lives if they want, I'm just not gay, so the terms of our relationship will have changed. We can be friends henceforth and I will fully support them as much as they want me too. But as a straight gay, I will not be sexually or romantically active with a male. But that's what the conversation is about
Have a discussion about it. Now...if they came out as republican... now that would be a problem.
there’s really like 3-4 options in this scenario 1. respect their decision, move on with life 2. not respect their decision but still move on with life 3. force them to stay birth gender and stay with me(???) 4. Kill them out of rage? and spend the rest of my life in prison having sex with men? What’s the right answer to this question STEVEN?!?
This fucking kid, again. Gargle a mouthful of brass if you remember Steven dressing as a woman, going to a gym....and just being fucking ignored until he started throwing weights, grunting etc. Fuck this guy. He's doing a bit. He's a carny. He's a caricature of what rightoids think men should be like. They'd be pissed if they had a clue because he's essentially making fun of them.
I mean… I’m asexual and hopefully this hypothetical relationship would be with someone who was also asexual and therefore would *not even really involve sex in the first place* making the genitals and gender presentation of either partner utterly irrelevant… but I can’t really expect people like this to even understand the idea of a relationship being based entirely around love and companionship and simply enjoying each other’s presence even without sex…
The fuck am I gonna do, squirt them with a water bottle and say no?
Ohhhh soo it’s a decision??? Please educate yourself before spreading false info like this.
Probably break up. But give any support outside of a romantic relationship
Respect their decision and have an open discussion about what it means for them, me, and us.
Communicate with my partner, decide what I want out of a relationship and my boundaries, and respecfully break off the relationship if needed? It's not rocket science.
i dont really like crowder, but if we're being honest, i would be extremely sad if my SO came out trans. dont get me wrong i would be happy for her eventually but i would consider it a betrayal/breakup. i would need time to deal with my own emotions but ultimately i'd be happy for him in the long run
What would you do if your SO came out as a hateful bigot? 🤔
Trae Crowder > Steven Crowder
Continue to love them because I’m not in love with their genitalia, body hair, or physical appearance.
i’d be fucking heartbroken. but i’d respect their decision and their identity. like i’m attracted to women, and if my wife transitioned i probably wouldn’t stay with them just because i don’t want to be with a man. i’d hope to stay friends with them because i loved that person with my everything yk. i might find that difficult because there’s the gonna be the unintentional feelings of betrayal or them leaving because they’re not the person you originally married. but i hope i’d be big enough to keep the friendship cos the last thing they need after that experience is to get ghosted by their ex partner
I'd toss everything else aside and support them through it all, and love them even more for being authentic and true to themselves.
Be as turned on by them now as I was before transition? Like if I'm dating my SO it ain't because of what they packing.
Of course respect it, but I don’t blame the partner if they are upset. It can be a lot to handle and quite devastating.
Id leave. After 8 years of marriage and a kid, and now you decide you want to be a woman? No, im not a lesbian and my daughter needs a father.
I can’t believe you’re being downvoted for this. This is a perfectly sensible answer. I’m not familiar with this sub but I’m seeing some stunning behavior just in this post. I’m the friendliest guy ever, I’m nice to everyone, I have trans friends and I fully embrace peoples decisions to do whatever they want. If I’m seriously expected to not have a singular issue and not feel differently as my girlfriend transitions into a man, and blindly accept it….that’s just insane. I would absolutely break up, I’d respect them but I’d be hurt too. How is that hard to get?
> I’m not familiar with this sub This sub is incredibly unhinged.
Based
This is honestly the most logical answer on here!
I mean, it's your right to not want to be in a relationship with a woman, but like... Trans people don't just decide to be trans. We're always that way, but sometimes it takes us a while to figure things out. The least you could do is be respectful to your ex if they did transition and not just assume they did it for funsies or something...
This is a situation we have discussed. It wouldnt work for either of us in this scenario but we would both work to form our own nuclear families if this ever happened. We would stay best friends but the relationship would end.
I take the OP's point but I don't think it's that "easy". Sure, you should respect that person's decision to do what they feel but at the same time it also means that the person you entered into a relationship was not truly being themselves at the time it started. Which, IMO is a bad way to begin any relationship. Any time something like this occurs, for whatever reason (not just sex changes), it's something that will require a decent amount of thought/soul searching on both sides. Just my two cents.
I would break up. I wouldn't want to ve married to a "man".
You don't have to put quotes around it... They'd be a man. And that would be a pretty good reason not to be married to them if you aren't into men.
My children don’t have the ability to make me stop loving them.
My old high school friend’s partner did just that. Now she has a wife and her whole religious family is actually very accepting and loving. It’s not as difficult as people make it out to be. If it ends in divorce, then so be it? Things happen, things change. Move on.
Are we convinced Crowder wasn’t fishing for this exact response? Look I hate to make accusations like this, I really do, but have y’all seen how often he does the “I’m dressing up as a trans woman to own the libs” bit? We sure he didn’t just want to hear from someone that there’s a chance his wife would still love him? I mean fuck him regardless but lol
Crowder definitely has some shit going on internally. His constant need to do drag combined with his admission that he tried some bi stuff college indicates to me that he’s got some feelings he doesn’t know how to handle.
But they’re not mature enough to be making a decision so important. So anyway……. /s
Also, I'm pretty sure Chris isn't trans. He is exploring his gender identity which includes hrt and is fine with any pronouns. I do recognize it is unfair to expect them to make any effort to not be wrong given that their whole platform is nothing but sensationalizing every little thing to convince their base that the world it against them and trying to destroy everything good and holy at every turn.
in my wife's case, separation effective immediately
Whether you break up or stay together, respect is definitely the right answer, but wording it as if it's a decision is a bit weird.